To Keep You
by MorningGlory2
Summary: This takes place after Jack and Kate fight about Sawyer in 4x10. Can Jack and Kate's love survive all? Slight AU, as if they stayed off the island. Enjoy! Chap 63 is posted!
1. Chapter 1

**Title:** To Keep You  
**Rating: **PG-13  
**Pairing**: J/K  
**Set up: **After Kate and Jack's fight about Sawyer in their living room, starts right after the scene ends.

**Notes: ** This was a storyline that has been rolling around in my head and I had to write it out. Please let me know what you think.

**Warning:** Not that I can think of.  
**Status of Fic:** One-shot but I will continue if people want.  
**A/N **– I do not own LOST, Kate, Jack, Aaron, or any other characters.

"Shhh, it's ok, baby," Kate shuttered against the little boy in her arms as she walked slowly back toward the stairs to his room. Tears rolled down her face as she replayed the scene that had just played out in her living. Her heart hurt with the pain she knew she had just caused Jack by not being able to tell him the truth but she was a woman of her word. But he had hurt her as well, and she ached from that too.

Kate slightly closed Aaron's door and walked to the bed, sitting down on the edge of it. She rubbed his back a while, the little boy not making a sound, simply laying his blonde head on her shoulder, his eyes closed. He was too young to understand what had just taken place, and she was grateful for that. She was doing her best by him and the last thing she wanted was for him to be upset. She could hear rustling in the other room and she knew it was Jack, but she couldn't bring herself to move. Her priority was Aaron, and he needed her warmth. And she needed the silent, dark room to gather herself before she even tried to approach the intoxicated man in the other room.

She rocked Aaron back and forth slowly, cooing a small "Shh" every now and again, urging him back to sleep. His breathing slowed, and he snuggled himself so close to her it felt as though he would melt into her. It broke her heart. She didn't want Jack to walk out of Aaron's life, for she knew how much Aaron adored him, and how great Jack was with him, even though he didn't believe he could do it.

She waited until Aaron was fast asleep and then settled him back in his bed with his plush Killer Whale, kissing his small forehead, and tucking him tightly in. She stood for a moment and took in the adorable bundle in front of her and never knew she could care about something so much. But then again she never knew she could love a man as much as she loved the one in the other room.

Kate shut the door behind her and began toward the bedroom she had shared with Jack. He was packing a small suitcase, and Kate could tell by the movements he was angered.

"Where are you going?" She asked quietly, standing behind him in the doorway, he arms crossed in physical protection of the emotional distress she felt.

"I'm leaving, Kate. I can't do this..," he trailed off, zipping the bag. She moved forward, placing a hand on his strong arm.

"Please, Jack, let me explain. I need you to understand-"

"I need _you_ to be honest, Kate." Jack cooly took a step back, holding the suitcase by the handle. In his rage, and intoxication, he was unable to feel pain about the situation, knowing what he needed was out. He was tired of being betrayed. Since they'd left the island, his old demons had come back to haunt him. He knew he was no good at being a father and in no emotional shape to do so. He had been damaged by Sarah, his ex-wife, and that pain was real to him. He wouldn't let Kate drag him down like that again. "I need out, Kate. I need to think." He headed for the stairs and she moved quickly after him.

"Jack, please..." Kate pleaded, more tears slipping from her saddened eyes. She was desperate. "We can make this work, I can help you." She never realized he had had a substance problem until now but she loved him enough to help him.

Jack didn't answer, he simply kept on down the stairs, reaching for his car keys off the desk next to the door, and opening the door. She stopped at the bottom of the stairs, in a sob now. "Jack, wait...," her voice shook as the small works escaped her lips. He looked at her, his face overcome with pain, his eyes watery.

"I can't, Kate. I'm sorry. I need to go." He dropped his head and walked out the door, leaving it open behind him, as if he was looking for her to try one more time to get him to stay. But she didn't move from her place at the stairs. She simply sank to the floor, her tears flowing freely, as she watched his truck pull out of the drive. Her heart ached more than she could have ever thought possible. The only man she'd love since Tom had just walked out her door, and she knew Jack Shepard. There was a chance he wouldn't come back for her.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Her fingers twirled the coffee cup in front of her, starring blankly into the chocolate colored liquid within. Her thoughts kept roaming back to the argument from the previous night, and she was faintly aware of the clock ticking away, the sun rising over her shoulder through the kitchen window. Her heart felt heavy, her eyes swollen and red. How terrible she felt about not telling him the truth. She should have known better, should have simply told him when he pressed her for answers. She was always a woman of her word, but maybe when it came to such a delicate thing as her relationship with Jack she should have sacrificed a secret to keep things okay. But then again, was that acceptable? Would that have really changed anything?

Tiny feet made their way down the stairs and Kate was startled from her thoughts to a small blonde-haired boy rubbing his eyes, arrousing from sleep. "Mama," he yawned, and Kate couldn't help but smile, somewhat sadly. She stood up from her place at the table and greeted Aaron half-way.

"Hey baby," She sweeped him into her arms and kissed his little face as he giggled. She carried him to the table and placed him in a seat, moving to the cabinet to pour him a bowl of cereal. "How'd you sleep, sweet pea?" she inquired, hoping he didn't remember last night.

"Mama, where's Jack?" Aaron ignored her question as he looked around the room with sleepy eyes. She glanced at the clock, reading the hands, knowing it wasn't much past seven, also knowing she didn't know the answer to that question.

"Jack's at work sweetie." She covered for the moment, knowing she would have to tell the truth later. But for the moment she didn't want to discuss the actual reason he wasn't there to greet Aaron like he did every morning before work.

"Ok." He lifted his little blue spoon to his mouth and watched the television Kate had turned on to take his attention away from the situation. She walked past him, into the den, and took a deep breath to hold herself together. She knew there was nothing she could do right now to find him, and she didn't even know what she'd say if she called. She secretly wished he would just come back and they'd make up and move on. That was a juvenile thought, however.

"Aaron, I'm going to take a shower. You finish your breakfast and then you can play for a little while, but then we're going to run some errands, ok?" She spoke to him from the den, picking up the remnants of last night, and her heart.

"Ok, Mommy," the little boy chewed his fruity cereal, transfixed by a child show as Kate moved past him to the trash and then into the bathroom. Every movement felt like an eternity and she couldn't bear to think of him while she was undressing, thinking about all the times they'd spent in this particular place. But then her eyes caught her small diamond ring and before she knew it she was overcome, tears streaming against the hot water. She knew it was going to be a long day, and she only hoped it would end better than it had begun.

A strong hand reached over and tapped the alarm clock 'off' button, before rubbing the scruffy face that lay in the darkness. He hadn't slept well, if at all, and was not pleased to have to awaken so early to get up for work. His back ached and his shoulders were tense. He hadn't slept in this bed in months. The room was almost unrecognisible to him, bare and neat, seemingly unlived in. He moved to the kitchen and cursed quietly when he realized there was no coffee to be made. He had paid rent here even while he'd been at Kate's, since they hadn't officially moved in together. But most of his stuff was at Kate's, and he'd have to do with what he'd grabbed before he'd left. His head ached with a deep, alcohol induced ache as he moved for the shower, hoping to wash away the fatigue he felt.

Jack flipped on the water and stared in the mirror while it warmed. What had he done last night? Why had he left? He knew that there were better decisions he could have made, but in the heat of the moment he had needed to escape. For once, he was the one who had run away. He knew part of the reason he had left was because he had been a jerk for accusing her of something so harmless as a secret between her and Sawyer. Though he knew what he'd said had been justifed, the half bottle of Jamison and the three beers he'd had probably weren't. But Jack also knew he hadn't had to walk out, and if he knew Kate like he thought he did, it was hurting her terribly.

Jack entered the shower and shivered as the hot water hit his tense back. That wasn't the only reason he had bailed. The look on Aaron's face had broken his heart. And he knew that look all too well. And he never wanted to be the cause of that look again.

The door bell rang as Kate was preparing dinner, jumping her. Aaron ran to the door, squealing, and Kate's heart leapt into her throat, knowing who had to be on the other side. She could hear the door swing open and could hear the muffled exchange through the walls of the large house.

"Hey there, kiddo," came the voice Kate had tried to prepare herself for. It had been three days since they'd seen him, and after 4 unaswered calls, she'd given up trying to reach him, telling Aaron he had been out of town for work. She didn't want to tell him the truth until she knew what the truth was, whether he'd be stayong or leaving.

"Jack! I missed you." The little boy's voice tugged at her heart strings.

Jack held Aaron tightly in this arms, the little boy's legs wrapped around his waist. He held him so tightly, almost as an apology for having been gone and for his own having missed the young child. He didn't answer the question because he didn't know what she had said. And he deserved whatever it might have been, no question.

He took small steps toward the kitchen, Aaron chatting quickly about the past few days, with his new friend at the park, and about a television show that he had watched. Jack smiled genuinely at the child in his arms as he leaned back, looking for Jack's responses. "Wow, bud, sounds like you've had quite the time," he laughed, surprising himself, as he felt as though he hadn't smiled in days.

Kate's back was to him as they entered the kitchen, the room smelling of homemade spaghetti sauce and meatballs. He had missed her cooking, there was no denying. Her long dark curls sat loosely piled on top of her head, a few of them dancing along her neck, lightly touching her cotton-covered shoulders. She still made no acknowledgment of his appearance in her house, which he thought was strange, but he also hadn't expected her to leap into his arms either. He had said some hurtful things, things she may not forgive him for.

She took a deep breath and turned, trying to prepare herself for the handsome man that stood behind her. He was cradling Aaron in his arms, the little boy still chatting happily, and her heart quickened. Although he was dressed neatly, in jeans and a button-down shirt, his eyes looked tired and his face scruffy. She smiled shyly, shocking herself. His heart raced a little, thinking maybe she had forgiven him so easily, but his hoped were dashed as the smile left her face and she spoke only to Aaron.

"Honey, come sit down, dinner is ready." She carried his plate to the table as Jack set the child down. Aaron moved to his seat, looking expectantly at Kate.

"Is Jack staying for dinner, Mommy?" he asked, looking from one adult to the other. Jack looked at Kate in the eye, but she gave no indication of an answer.

"I'm not sure, sweetie. Eat your 'ronies and we'll see." Aaron focused on his food as Kate walked back to the stove, Jack following her.

"Hey," he said quietly, walking up behind her. She turned to face him, placing her hands behind her on the counter.

"Hi."

"How are you?"

"I'm all right." She held her ground, not wanting to melt into his arms as her body kept begging her to. "Where've you been?"

"My apartment. I just thought we needed some space." He was unsure of how deep the water was he was treading but continued cautiously. "Listen, I'm really sorry about what happened. I lost my temper."

"Yeah, you did." She replied curtly. She avoided his gaze for the most part, staring at his shoes. "Why did you drink so much?" She asked the question honestly, as she was dying for an answer to his behavior. He sighed heavily.

"I don't know, Kate. I was frusterated. I didn't know where you were, who you had spoken to on the phone, anything. I was stressed. And after seeing Hurley..." He trailed off, avoiding her gaze now, shifting uncomfortably. She didn't respond, simply turning to stir the sauce. He glanced at the cieling, feeling that glimmer inside himself, begging him for a drink, the stress becoming difficult to stand.

"Is this about the Island?" She almost whispered the question, fearing Aaron would hear, and fearing the answer would be something she did not want to hear. He sighed heavily again, rubbing his temple. He spoke calmly and quietly.

"I don't know Kate, a little. You can't expect me not to think about it. But we're here now. We have to adjust." She wondered if he was talking to her or himself.

"I agree." She responded, turning the heat off on the stoved and then turning to look at him again. Before she could say anything else, a tiny hand grasped Jack's, Aaron's spaghetti face appearing beside them.

"Mama, I'm finished. Can Jack come play now?" She smiled slightly as she bent to clean his small face with a wet paper towel. She looked up at Jack and melted with the face he had toward the little boy.

"Only if he has time sweetie." She looked at Jack for his answer and was surprised by the child's outburst before Jack could answer.

"Come on Jack!" Aaron pulled the tall man's arm, and Jack looked at Kate for approval. She sighed and shrugged, smiling tenderly at the boy.

"Ok, sweetie. Have fun." Jack's eyes smiled at Kate as he walked with the little boy towards the stairs to his room, and Kate mentally cursed herself for allowing this to play out as it was. She turned her attention to the dinner she had yet to eat and allowed the boys to play upstairs alone, wondering if it might be the last time they would.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

***Thank you to those who have reviewed! It makes me want to keep writing! I hope you all stay interested! Again, I do not own Lost or any of the characters and if you have any insight or comments I am all ears. The chapters will probably get longer so stay tuned! -CR***

Kate smiled to herself slightly as she picked up the kitchen, covering a plate for Jack in case he hadn't eaten. She could hear Aaron's laughter from upstairs and knew he was in his element, enjoying his play time with Jack. The little boy adored the older man and for Kate it was a warming sensation in her heart at the thought of the two of them together. She loved seeing Jack with him. It made her melt.

As she washed the dishes, soft music played over the water sounds and she lost herself in the motions, her mind stirring on what she would say to Jack, how to again approach what had happened. She couldn't have Jack around Aaron if she had to worry about his behavior and she also could bear the thought of him not being able to trust her because of a harmless secret she had kept from him. It made her stomach tie into knots at the thought. They had already been through so much together and this is what would tear them apart? She sighed at the pathetic thought.

She dried the last pot and glanced at the clock, shocked to find that it was past Aaron's bedtime. Though she hated to wake him she knew that she needed to keep their schedule and she knew what Aaron was like without the right amount of sleep. The sun was setting softly into the kitchen as she made her way up the stairs to break the news to her boys. As she reached the top stair, their laughter brought a smile to her face, and gave her chills. "_He's so good with him," _she thought, walking quietly toward the room. She peeked in the door way, and was overcome as she saw Jack sitting cross-legged on the floor, Aaron across from him, holding the Millenium Falcon in one hand and Han Solo in the other. He wasn't one to get on the floor and play pretend, but at this moment, he seemed like he had been doing it for years.

Kate leaned her shoulder against the door frame, watching them silently for a moment. Aaron was the first to pick up on her presence, as Jack's back was to her. "Mommy," he squealed, bounding to his feet. "We're playing Star Wars!" He carried the space ship to her and showed her for emphasis. She grinned at the young child, bending over to inspect the toy.

"That's great, sweetie. But guess what? It's bedtime!" She said it happily, laughing with him and tickling his little belly.

Jack watched the scene from the floor, thinking about the Kate he had met the day they crashed and the Kate she was today. He never thought she would be so natural with a child that wasn't her own. But she was so serene and had such a motherly instinct, it blew him away sometimes, especially knowing her past. She had more than made up for her mistakes.

The young boy threw himself on his bed, laughing happily as she tickled him all over, causing happy squeals. Jack stood quietly, picking up the Star Wars toys so Kate wouldn't have to. She helped the little boy change into his soft pajamas and helped him brush his teeth, then pressed play on a lullaby cd next to his bed. He crawled under the covers and reached out. But not for Kate, for Jack.

"Hug" he said, reaching as if with all his might. Jack moved to the bed, a tender smile on his face, sitting down next to Aaron, pulling the boy up and hugging him tightly. Kate stood back, allowing the scene to take place before, her hand on her heart. How was she ever going to let Jack leave? How could he not be in Aaron's life? "Wuv you." the little boy said quietly, solidifying the moment between them.

"Love you too, kiddo," Jack's eyes felt watery as he layed the little boy down, and pulled the comforter up to his chin. He never would have thought he would have made a decent father, let alone be able to play on a floor for hours. "Sweet dreams, bud." Aaron looked expectantly at Kate and she broke from her trance to kiss the little boy on his forehead.

"Goodnight, sweet pea. I'll see you in the morning. I love you."

"Wuv you." He responded, his small eyes fluttering to s soft close, exhausted from the day. She felt so blessed to have this little child, she didn't know what she would do without him. She sighed softly as she turned toward the door, Jack having dissapeared. She wandered to the hall, shutting off his light, and proceeded down the stairs, hoping Jack hadn't left without a goodbye.

Jack stood cautiously in the kitchen, feeling slightly nervous as Kate came into the room. Her linen pants clung to her hips just right and her cotton, white tee-shirt made his heart quicken a little. Her had dropped her hair down and seemed comfortable, grabbing a navy cardigan off one of the chairs, sliding it on. He grinned at her.

"Hey," he said quietly, his hands in his pockets.

"Hey yourself," she responded, walking toward the counter. "I left you a plate out, I wasn't sure if you had eaten dinner yet. I know it's late but I wanted to offer it to you just in case you were hungry." She uncovered the plate of spaghetti and meatballs with her homemade sauce and couldn't help but accept the offer.

"Actually, I am hungry if you don't mind." He moved toward the table, seating himself in the seat he always had.

"No, of course not. I'll heat it for you, it'll just take a minute." She set the plate in the microwave, trying to calm her nerves. "_Why are you so nervous?"_ she asked herself, feeling anxiety in her stomach. "_It's just Jack._" "How was your day?" she asked, looking for an excuse not to talk about anything important.

"Good. You know, same old. I have surgery first thing tomorrow on a young child who was involved in a car accident. He made me think of Aaron." Kate placed his plate and a glass of milk in front of him.

"That's terrible. I hope he's all right." Kate said honestly. She couldn't imagine the terror the child's mother must feel.

"You're amazing with him." Jack stared at Kate as she sat down across from him. She smiled faintly.

"Thank you. He adores you." She replied. "You're so good with him. He's missed you the last few days. I told him you were out of town on business, that you were very busy and that's why you hadn't called." She looked down, rearranging the placemate on the table. He looked at his food, contemplating the right answer.

"I hope he was okay. I'm sorry I didn't call. I just," he paused, unsure of how to proceed. "I just wasn't sure what to say." Kate shrugged, standing up and walking to the counter, pouring herself a glass of water.

"I understand. You said enough the other night." Kate spoke with a slightly harsh tone, trying to make him aware of how he had hurt her feelings.

"Kate, I said things that were out of line. I shouldn't have said what I said, and I shouldn't have yelled. I was just upset because I didn't expect you to have secrets with a man 3,000 miles away, a man we aren't even sure is still alive. And after what you two had-I guess it just makes me angry." He put his fork down and looked at her expectantly, as she glared acorss the table at him.

"We had nothing, Jack. You and I were the ones who had something." It ached that she had used the past tense and he wasn't sure if she was talking about here is Los Angeles or on the Island.

"Okay, Kate. If you say so." He sighed, knowing this was not the way he wanted things to progress this evening. He wanted to make things better, not worse. "Kate, listen. I'm sorry. I know what I said was uncalled for and I will respect your secret with Sawyer. Just promise me it won't effect us, all right?" Jack looked at her expectantly, waiting for her answer.

"Jack, I don't know if there can be an us." She replied slowly, his heart beginning to race.

"Kate-" he started, but she kept talking.

"The other night, you drank so much, you were so angry. And what you said about Aaron...I don't know if I can have you around him if you're going to behave that way. It's not healthy for him, let alone you or I. What's gotten in to you?" She looked at him steadily, as if she'd practiced that line. He felt embarassed, the heat rising in his cheeks.

"I don't know Kate. Sometimes it just happens, I need a drink. And then one turns to two, turns to four, and before I know it..." he trailed off, being honest with her, which sometimes was not one of his strong suits. "I picked up these habits after Sarah left me and I guess being back here..." he trailed off again, ringing his napkin together.

"Well, I'm not Sarah and it needs to stop. I will not have you around Aaron if it continues, do you understand?" He felt as though she were scolding him.

"I do, Kate. I'm sorry." He reached across the table, grasping her hand. Had she given him a second chance?

She felt the warmth of his strong hand, and though was still unsure, had missed him terribly. "But listen," she started, stilling staring at their embraced hands, "I think maybe you should stay at your apartment for a while, maybe that would allow you to calm down, and be less stressed." She said it in such a way, he felt like she was trying to convince her own self it was the right thing to do. And though he didn't want to, he felt as though it was what she needed. And he didn't want to have an argument again.

"Ok, Kate. If that's what you feel is best for Aaron," Jack didn't know if it would be best for him and her but if she thought it was best for her surrogate son, then he would help her do what was right. He knew he had a problem, but didn't know how to tackle it. He had some many thoughts running through his head, he didnt know where to turn. He noticed the diamond ring that still sat on her left ring finger on the hand enclosed in his and hoped that it would stay there and that, maybe, just maybe, she would give in and let him stay.

"I have a lot to do tomorrow and the next day but maybe, on Friday, you could spend some time with him? Maybe take him out for ice cream or something?" She rubbed her finger across his, hoping his answer would be yes.

"Of course, I'd love to. I'll plan 'll be fun." He smiled at her, as he was determined not to lose her. She smiled back before standing, moving into the kitchen, taking his empty plate and glass with her. He stood as well, pushing in their chairs, not sure what her next move might be. She yawned and stretched, feeling exhausted from the anxiety she felt. But in her heart she was afraid for him to leave, as she wasn't sure where he would go and what he would do. She worried about his drinking. It was unlike him, unlike the man she had fallen in love with. Of course, on the island he hadn't drank, but it was because they didn't have available alcohol, and he had had to cope with all that went on. And if he had to cope with that, how in the world was he unable to cope with a secret? Or himself. She sighed inside, worried.

Kate wandered to the couch, sitting down and tucking her legs up underneath her, flipping the tv on. It was only 9:00 but it felt like midnight. Jack walked into the room after her, sitting down beside her but giving her enough room that it didn't seem as though he was desperate for her touch, which was how he felt inside.

While they were sitting here, her head leaning back against the sofa, he had a flashback, to the moment he had truly told her how he felt:

_"Why are you defending Sawyer? He'd never do it for you," She smirked. He looked away from her, and then at her, his eyes the most expressive she'd seen them, almost pained. _

_"Because I love you," he answered solemnly. She didn't answer, only pursed her lips and gave him what he thought might have been a sympathetic look, before he walked on. _

Those days seemed so long ago. When things were difficult and his one goal was to save everyone, something he hadn't achieved. But there was nothing he could do about that, he told himself. He had to live in the present, and not lose the only thing he cared about so deeply. He'd lost it once, he wasn't going to lose it again.

They watched television in silence for a long while, simply enjoying the feeling of the other being there. After a bit, he looked up noticed her angelic face, eyes closed, her breathing deep. "_She's so beautiful,"_ he thought, brushing a strand of her dark hair from her eyes. How he longed to kiss her, but couldn't bring himself to. She wasn't ready. He stood, scooping her softly into his arms, her breathing barely changing. He carried her up the stairs to her large master bedroom, gently laying her down on the soft sheets. He kissed her forehead, covering her with a light blanket, and stared at her for a moment, taking in her sweet face, overcome with sleep. He kissed her nose softly before retreating down the stairs, shutting lights off as he went. He locked the door on his way out, glancing briefly back the house before climbing into his truck. He would fix this. He had to. He loved them too much to let them slip through his fingers.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

***Sorry about the typos in the previous chapter. I didn't re-read it before I posted it. Also, in the flashback I should have typed "Why are you **sticking up** for Sawyer" not "defending", sorry about that. The next few chapters are not totally following the tv show time line, but I want to play out the scenarios in my head. So please, bear with me, and again if anyone has any comments, advice, or suggestions, don't hesitate. I've already gotten one I think I'm going to use, but keep them coming, because you will get credit! Thanks again for the reviews! -CR***

Jack sat on the couch in his quiet apartment, staring at the baseball game on tv. His mind was elsewhere, however, unaware of the lead the Boston Red Sox had over the Tampa Bay Rays at 6-2. The beer in his hand was almost gone, and with his head leaning against his hand, he was lost in thought.

He'd had a long few days, starting with his visit to Kate's. He'd drove around for an hour before heading home, feeling restless and uneasy about their meeting. The next morning he performed spinal surgery on a young boy, the surgery being successful. Now they were just waiting to see what the prognosis would be for his spinal cord and whether he would walk again. Besides seeing normal patients, he was not stressed in the work department.

His personal life was another story though. He was unsure of his problems, knowing he was relying too much on alcohol, as he had before the crash, and trying to determine a solution without feeling like less of a man was difficult. He also wasn't sleeping well, hallucinations and dreams from the Island haunting him. The Clonazepam he was taking was helping, but causing him to be irritable in the mornings with awful headaches. He was a doctor, he knew what he was doing to his body was not right. Not to mention drinking on an anti-anxiety medication was probably not the smartest thing he had ever done.

His stubborness came from his father, as did many more of his traits, more than he was willing to admit. His father had been a raging alcoholic most of his life, a functioning one, but an alcoholic none the less. His father had had a rough upbringing, and had raised Jack no differently. Jack had always felt he could never do anything right, and to never try anything he might fail at. He pushed Jack in the oposite direction than most parents push their kids; he pushed his son to never try to succeed, while others pushed their kids to try new things. Christian Shepard was a difficult beast to understand, and had he not passed on, maybe Jack could have figured things out with him and put some of his demons to rest.

Christian had tried Alcoholics Anonymous, managing to stay sober for 50 days, until he relapsed after a physical fight Jack had caused, putting Jack in jail, where he had been bailed out by his ex-wife Sarah. Jack had thought Sarah had been cheating on him with his father, who was a compulsive cheater, which was manifested in his fathering of Claire in Australia. Jack had never known that he had had a sister, let alone having lived so close to her on the Island, never knowing it. Aaron was his nephew, his blood. He felt a draw to the young boy for that reason, among others. And he struggled with the unknown fate of his half-sister, after her vanishment on the island, finding it almost unbelievable she would have left her child in the woods and taken off. But stranger things had happened on that island.

He finished his beer, standing to grab another. The cold beer tasted good against his lips as his drank the first sip down, moving back to the couch. His mind kept drifting back to Hurley's statement in the mental hospital, the day he had proposed to Kate. "_You're not supposed to raise him,_" Hurley had said. Jack scoffed, even then, while thinking about it. Hurley was not mentally well. He struggled, not the same way Jack did, but in his own way. For what ever reason, Kate did not struggle. Maybe that is why Jack proposed. She knew they were meant to be together. She wanted them to be together, for him to help her raise Aaron. Who better to raise him? She had even delivered him, on the island, with no help and no medical experience. She was not the runner she had initially thought she was. Or at least he didn't believe she was. Maybe the 101 days on the island had changed her. That was also possible.

It had changed him as well. Jack had never thought he could have been a leader, never wanted to be, but he had managed to get 6 of his people to safety. _His_ people. Sawyer had chosen to stay, and Jack didn't blame himself for that. But he blamed himself for alot involving the Island. Jin's death, Claire's dissapearance, Boone's death; there was so much that had happened. Sometimes it was more than he could bear, and that was when he dipped into his semi-depression, relying on the pills and the alcohol. At least for Jack, he didn't pick up the infidelity side of his father like he had everything else.

Jack had become the leader by default, too opinionated to stay quiet, too masculine to let someone else tell him what to do. He was strong and people rely on the strong in times of difficulty. Or at least he had faked being strong, having to go through alcohol withdrawl and his own demons privately, silently on the Island, projecting his anger on others. There were things he would take back if he could.

He focused his attention back on the game, noting the score was now 8-4, the Red Sox still winning. Maybe he did have a substance abuse problem, maybe it was time for him to consider getting professional help. Maybe. He wasn't ready to make any rash decisions just yet.

Kate lay curled up on her couch, a glass of red wine in hand, and blanket wrapped around her legs. She was watching a documentary about the Bermuda Triangle, laughing to herself about how much it reminded her of where they had been lost at sea. Until now, she had never belived such a thing was possible, but after her experience, it seemed as though anything was.

She sipped her red wine, settling deeper into the couch cushion. Her life was so much better than it had been before she had left for Australia. She had Aaron, a beautiful home, and enough money from the settlement from Oceanic Airlines that she wasn't in any worry about money. Her major priority was Aaron. For once her life wasn't about herself, and she had to make rational decisions in life now, no longer able to live life on the run as she had before. She was dedicated to staying still and enjoying everything that life offered her. Including her relationship with Jack.

She stared at the diamond ring on her finger, moving it with her thumb. It was a beautiful ring, and each time she looked at it, it touched her deeply within knowing who had given it to her. He knew everything about her-the crimes she had commited, about her childhood love, her life story, unlike her first marriage, which had been some version of a sham. She had loved Kevin, very deeply in fact, but she couldn't live a lie. And though they hadn't told the truth of what had happened when they had arrived back in the States, no one would have believed them anyway, she convinced herself.

Jack. Jack made her heart weak. He made her smile at just the thought of him. Their first few weeks living together in her house had been a dream, something that, on the Island, she had thought would never happen. And now that they were here, she couldn't imagine living without him. He was so caring to her, and to Aaron, and just thinking about it gave her butterflies. Thinking back to the Island, all the things they had said, all the fights they had had, she knew he would still always be there when she needed him, just like she was always there for him. She thought about being trapped by the others when he had gone back to rescue him, deliberatly disobeying what he had asked her not to do. She thought about their conversation in the game room, how he told he was leaving, going home. And she shuddered when she thought about him whispering in her ear "_I will come back for you"._ He would have. He would have done anything to rescue her. Because, even before he admitted it to her, she knew he loved her. Deep down in a place she had refused to listen, she knew he did. She had loved him, terribly. She had cared for him from the very beginning, that feeling growing deeper over the time they spent together, through their hard, rough times, and their light hearted times, laughing and flirting together. And she remembered how much it had broken her heart when he had brought Juliet back from the Others' camp. And the time she had watched them kiss, it had devastated her. But he had only done it to prove to himself he didn't love her, even though he did. He had confessed his feelings to her after kissing Juliet. And she had felt terrible at the moment, knowing what she had done with Sawyer. She would never talk to him about that time, because she was simply upset over him and Juliet, and Sawyer had known it. She didn't handle rejection or jealousy well, that was apparent.

Kate was startled at the sound of a cry from upstairs. Concerned, she stood up, sitting her glass on the table and making her way to Aaron's room. It was unlike him to wake up in the middle of the night. She walked into his room, the young child crying on his bed, and as she flipped the lamp on, the look of fear on his face was undeniable. She sat down next to him, pulling him onto her lap.

"Sweet Pea, what's the matter?" She asked, rubbing his back as he laid his head on her shoulder, his tears melting into her shirt.

"I had a scary dream, Mama." He replied through his cries, sniffling. She tried to comfort him but he pushed back, his eyes red and wide. "I want Jack." he cried. Her heart sank.

"Baby, Jack's not here." She kissed his forehead, pulling him back to her, rubbing his back. "Shhh" she whispered, "It was just a dream, sweetie. You're okay."

"I want Jack." He repeated, making it apparent he had not accepted her answer. She racked her brain silently for a moment, trying to think of a way to answer Aaron's desire. She pulled him back and look him in his small blue eyes, all wet from his many tears.

"Do you wanna call him, sweet pea?" She asked, hoping that if they called, Jack might still be awake. The young boy nodded emphatically through his tears, and Kate carried him down the stairs to the couch, where her phone was on the coffee table. She sat down softly on the couch, Aaron still snuggled up to her, his legs around her waist, as she reached for the phone, hitting Jack's number. The phone rang and her heart raced slightly, hoping he would answer.

His phone rang, jumping him from the baseball game. He stood up, walking to the kitchen where it sat on the charger, picking it up quickly, thinking it might be the hospital.

"Hello?" He spoke into the reciever. His heart leapt at the voice on the other end.

"Hey Jack, it's me," the familiar voice responded, a grin growing across his face. He glanced at the clock, seeing it was 10:30, and surprised she was still awake.

"Kate. How are you?" He asked, walking back to the couch. He felt lifted at her voice on the other end, elated she had called.

"I'm good, but Aaron...not so much. He had a bad dream and he would like to talk to you." Jack's face turned to concern as he sat more upright on the couch, feeling sympathy for the little boy.

"Ok, put him on." He heard the phone rustle around a little and then heard the little voice on the other end. "Hey kiddo, how are you doing?" he asked the child, trying to sound uplifting.

"Bad. I had a scary dream. Will you come home?" Aaron asked so endearing, through his sniffles and his tears, it pulled at his heart strings. Without consulting Kate, and he gave the easiest answer in the world. "I'll be right there, Aaron. I'll see you in fifteen minutes, ok?" He responded, already striding toward the door, grabbing his car keys.

"Ok." Aaron said, before continuing, "Wuv you." Jack felt his eyes mist again, for the second time this week.

"Love you too, little guy. See you soon." He clicked off the call, jumping into his truck, not wasting anytime getting there. He also thanked a higher power for his decision to stop at two beers an hour ago, and for not having taken his Clonazepam. Sometimes he just felt like some things happened for a reason.

Jack walked in the door, shutting it softly beside him. He made his way to the living room where he saw Kate and Aaron on the couch, her back to him. He made his way down into the den, Aaron lifting his head and then bursting into tears, startling Kate. He climbed off of Kate and ran to Jack, attaching himself to his leg, his tears full-fledged once more. Jack reached down and picked him up, Kate watching from her place on the couch, her heart in pain to see the way Aaron cared for Jack. Jack smiled at her, greeting her, before carrying Aaron to the couch, sitting beside her, their shoulders touching. He rubbed the little boy's back, relishing the warmth she radiated at his side, as she moved to face the two. "It's okay, kiddo." he whispered.

The little boy's cries turned into whimpers and before Kate knew it, he had quieted right down, snuggled into Jack's strong chest. He looked at her and smiled again, at the look of adoration on her face. "Hey," he started.

"Hi. Thank you for coming." She said quietly in return. She touched his bicep lightly in 'thank you'. He glanced at Aaron.

"What happened?" he asked her. She shrugged, puzzled.

"I'm not sure, he woke up crying and by the time I got to him he was hysterical, and all he said was that he had a scary dream and that he wanted you." She chuckled a little.

"Huh." He replied. Aaron was now facing Kate, sucking his thumb, appearing still shaken but content. "Did he get a nap today?" Jack asked. She nodded.

"Yeah, he did. He slept for two hours. Maybe he really just had a bad dream." She spoke, but finished the thought to herself "_Or maybe he just misses you, Jack" _.

"Probably. I'll go lay him down, and see if maybe I can get him back to sleep." Jack stood, carrying the little boy towards the stairs. Kate followed him, stopping at the bottom of the stairs, watching the two boys she loved walk up the stairs, embraced. There was nothing like watching a man care for a child he loved, and it made me heart flutter watching Jack interact with Aaron. She bit her nail for a moment, leaning against the banister, not sure of what to do. She wandered back to her place on the couch, smelling his aftershave as she walked in his steps, noting that he must have taken a shower in the recent hours. She did notice his sweatpants and worn t-shirt, and how well they lay on his fit frame. She picked up her glass of wine and chose the back porch instead, thinking maybe some fresh air would do her some good. She knew Aaron was in good hands. And though she was worried about what might have caused the dream, she wasn't too concerned it was anything other than the imagination of a child. But what she did know was that she was glad Jack had answered the phone when she had called, and felt a sense of relief he wasn't intoxicated or worse. Maybe he was getting better. Maybe she should let him come back and stay with her. So many thoughts swirled in her head as she sipped her wine. Clearly Aaron wanted him back in the house. He had grown accustomed to Jack's presence and wasn't doing too well without the man around. He constantly asked for him, and she was never sure what her answer would be the next time he did. She wanted him back as much as Aaron did. She just wanted to make sure he was in a good head, able to handle life as the father Aaron had begun to accept him as. And as the future husband she wanted him to be.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

***Thank you again for all the reviews, everyone! Please continue letting me know how you feel :-) This one is a little shorter than the last but I have some great things in the works. I'm really enjoying writing this story and am always excited to see where its going to take me. I hope you all continue to enjoy it! Let me know what you think!-CR***Note: There is some implied sexual activity here. Just as a warning :-) thanks!

The house was quiet as Jack wandered back down the stairs. He had stayed with Aaron, rubbing his back until he was sure the child was fast asleep. He had enjoyed every minute, staring at the child's innocent face, wondering what his thoughts were. He also thought about his own experience as a child, and how he would never want a child to grow up the way he had. He had few fond memories of his father and that saddened him.

As Jack approached the den, he noticed the back door open. As he got closer he caught a glimpse of Kate in one of the deck chairs, one leg up to her chest, her dark hair flowing in the light breeze. He touched her knee when he grew closer, her eyes fluttering open, her smile soft. "Hey," she greeted quietly, stretching. He smiled back at her and she noticed how his eyes glowed against the night sky.

"Hi, you. Sleeping?" He pulled a chair up close to her, sitting almost directly across from her.

"I guess so, I'm not sure how long. I think I may have just been dozing off. How's Aaron?" She re-adjusted herself in the chair, brushing her hair back.

"He's asleep. I think he'll be fine for the rest of the night. He's a good boy", he remarked with a grin. She nodded.

"He's wonderful. I don't know what I'd do without him. Thank you again for coming, he's been missing you a lot lately", Kate confessed to him, looking away. Jack's gaze at her never faultered.

"I've been missing you a lot lately." She looked back at him, feeling the heat growing in her cheeks as she blushed. She smiled, feeling her heart skip a beat.

"I've missed you too," she replied. He reached and grabbed her small hand, embracing it with his hands. He never felt that he had been good at being a romantic, but sometimes, in her presence, he couldn't help it.

"I'm glad." Jack made a small smirk, flashing that grin she loved so much, causing a small giggle to come from her mouth. He released one hand from his grip on her's and brought it up to her soft cheek, caressing it gently. "You're beautiful." He moved to the end of his chair, their gaze never breaking. Her eyes flickered from his eyes to his lips and back and her heart quickened.

"Jack," Kate whispered. He looked in her eyes deeply.

"Yeah?"

"I'm so glad you're here." He didn't need any more encouragement than that, closing the space between them, placing his lips against hers, moving both of his hands up to cup her face. She accept the kiss, moving her arms around his shoulders, pulling him closer. Their kiss, though passionate, was soft and sweet, one of rememberance and love. She had deeply missed him and it had felt so good to know he was upstairs with Aaron, and had come immediatly at their call, as if he'd never left. As if they had never fought. And that was what she wanted. She wanted that fight to disappear, for things to go back to normal.

Kate deepened the kiss, surprising Jack a little, his heartbeat quickening. She took his breath away.

They kissed for what seemed like an eternity before she pulled back. His face was flushed, and he was curious as to why she had pulled away. But she was smiling, a smile he knew, a smile he craved.

"Come," She beckoned, holding his hand, standing, pulling him toward the door. He followed her, watching her every move. She locked the door and he stood, staring at her, watching her walk past him, turning the lights off in the living room. He was afraid, afraid to ruin the moment, to make the wrong move, to break the spell. But she kept smiling, walking toward the stairs, begging him to follow with her eyes. And he did, like a puppy. She walked slowly, waiting for him to catch up, walking the stairs. Upon reaching the top, they made their way to her room, his hands grasping at her petite hips. She shut her door, leaning against it, and he moved closer to her, again touching her face, reading her. Her hands now grasped his hips and he then knew they were on the same page, that she was accepting of what might happen. And this time when they kissed, it was filled with everything they felt for one another, but grew with intensity until they were undressed, on her bed. And as he made love to her, he knew that this was where he belonged. This was his future.

The sun awoke him, the feeling of a new day upon him. He yawned, opening his eyes, allowing them to adjust to his surroundings. A smile grew upon his face as he looked beside him, the sight almost more than he could take in. Her curls were splayed across the white pillow, contrasting in color. Her breathing was deep, but quiet, her eyes still closed to the world. The sheet covered everything up to her shoulders, with just a touch of her light skin showing. She was on her side, facing him, and he wanted so badly to touch her, to awaken her, but couldn't bring himself to disturb her. So instead he stared for a while, memorizing her every feature, every curve of her face.

He relived the evening before in his head, the smile becoming permanent on his face. He loved her. So much. More than he thought was possible. He craved her, every minute, her smile, her laughter, the way she was always there for him. He pulled her to him, disturbing her, but needing her warmth. Her hair sprawled across his bare chest, giving him chills, and he could feel her breath on his skin. He layed her arm across him, encircling her with him. She made a sigh, and he grinned, touching her hair lightly.

"Good morning," she spoke softly, snuggling closer to him.

"Morning, sweet girl." He kissed the top of her head before she shifted to look at him, their eyes catching. There was something so comfortable about him, so safe.

"How long have you been awake?" She kissed his chest.

"Not long, was just looking at you." She blushed and he loved that he could cause that reaction.

"When do you have to work?"

"I have an appointment at ten." He glanced at the clock, noting it was only 7:00. "Would you like to have some coffee?" He asked.

"Yes, but in a minute," she grinned mischeviously and he knew what she was thinking. Rolling her over, he began kissing her, recreating the night before, her laughter making his heart happy.

The coffee made the room smell delicious, and her French toast was making his mouth water. He was sitting with Aaron at the table, watching a cartoon show, sipping on his coffee. Kate busied herself around the kitchen, cooking breakfast for them all, setting the table, as well as making a grocery list for later that day. "_She's so good at all of this," _he thought, almost enviously, as he didn't know if he made a very good father figure. He tried hard always, but she made it look so easy. She had been doing it more than a year longer than him though, he supposed. He was still working into that role. But he loved the little boy next to him. He rustled his hair, standing.

"Can I help you at all?" He asked, moving by her side. She smiled, shaking her head.

"No, just enjoy your coffee, please. I've got this covered." Sometimes he was so surprised they were off the Island, in a real house, together, no smoke monster, no Others, no drama, just each other.

"Alright," He kissed her cheek and moved back toward the table, before stopping and turning back to her.

"How do you feel if we all go out for ice cream tonight, like we had discussed earlier this week?" Aaron's eyes lit up at the word and he squealed.

"Ice cream!" Both Kate and Jack laughed. She nodded. "That sounds great."

"Great. I'll call you when I'm leaving the hospital." He was still a little nervous about talking about moving back in or what the weekend held, but he figured ice cream was a good start. He sat back down, watching her move around the kitchen in her lavender pajamas. He grinned to himself. This was a great way to start a day, to start every day.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

***Here is my newest installment. I hope you all enjoy it! Please let me know what you think! Also, and again, I do not own LOST or any of these characters. Thanks! Enjoy! I have some huge things in the works :-) Note: I used LOSTpedia to determine the timeline of this story (ie the fight) and it says that happened in September, so lets go with that as truth and that would make this story now mid October. If anyone can prove to me otherwise what month they think the fight was in, let me know! :-)***

Kate felt nervous as she ran her hands through the racks of dresses. She had done this once before and had felt the dress she had picked had been the most perfect dress for her, and she was having difficulty picking another one. There were so many cuts and styles, flowy or fitted, so many colors to choose from, white, off white, pearl. She felt overwhelmed. Especially because she felt that this dress had to be the most perfect dress because she truly felt this wedding was going to be the most perfect wedding.

She ran her fingers over the fabrics, trying to envision how she wanted a dress to fit. So many details had been planned already, and so many were left to be planned. Jack was being very sweet, helping her pick invitations, save the dates, flowers, and the food, but the dress was something she had to pick on her own. And since she didn't have many friends, she was doing it by herself. She pulled one off the rack, laying it against her, but shook her head and put it back. This was going to be a hard decision, she determined.

The past few weeks had been great, she thought to herself. Jack had moved back in, still keeping his apartment, but most of his stuff was back in the house. They had been spending a lot of time together, and things had been great between them. She felt as though he was finally being honest with her about himself, about his problems, and they were working through them, together. Aaron was loving having Jack back in the house, which delighted Kate because when Aaron was happy, she was happy. She lived for him now, and it seemed to her, that Jack did too.

While she was shopping for dresses, Jack had taken Aaron to the park. She loved that they spent time together, enjoying each other. She trusted Jack again, as he had redeemed himself to her. She had never brought up the promise she had made to Sawyer again, and neither had he, and she secretly hoped he had forgotten that she had made a promise to Sawyer. And though she felt bad about lying, she knew that Jack wouldn't have understood. Or maybe he would have. She didn't know if she ever would know.

A dress jumped out at her from across the room, and as she made her way to it, she admired the cut. As she pulled it off the rack, she noted the way it buttoned up the back, starting a little above her mid-thighs and coming all the way up the middle of her back. It was off the shoulders, and had very fine crystals along the top in front that faded toward the back. She asked the saleswoman if she could try it on, and upon putting it on, knew it had to be the one. Stepping in front of the long mirror, though it was too long for her petite frame, it fit her like a glove through her fit body. It hugged her curves in all the right places, and she envisioned the look on Jack's face when he would see her walking down the aisle toward him, the look of love he would have for her. She felt emotional as her dream was slowly unfolding in front of her, she was going to be Mrs. Doctor Jack Shepard. She felt giddy at the thought.

The saleswoman took her sizes, making sure the hem the dress just right to fit small Kate. She then asked Kate, why she was still standing in the dress in front of the mirror if she wanted a veil. She thought back to her first wedding, when she had worn a veil, and decided against it.

"No, I think I'll wear a flower. Or maybe a clip," Kate responded, looking at the rack filled with hair peices. The woman smiled.

"Well you have plenty of time to pick what you would like. When is the date?"

"January 19th." The date was only a few months away. They had wanted a November wedding but with Thanksgiving and Christmas coming up after, they felt as though it might be too much. It also gave Kate time to contact her real father, Sam Austen, whom she hadn't contacted since the crash, or since the day after she asked him to not call the police on her after she burned down her mother's house, and murdered her mother's husband. She felt sick at the thoughts and rushed them away, focusing back on the task at hand: her wedding. Her wedding to the most amazing man she'd ever met.

_a few days later_

Kate awoke from her nap to a pair of lips covering her's. She hadn't meant to fall asleep, but she was tired and feeling a little overwhelmed by the wedding planning. She opened her eyes, delighted at the smile coming from above. She smiled back, still in her lying position on the couch.

"Hey," he spoke softly, his hand brushing a few stray hairs from her face.

"Hi," she yawned "What time is it?" She asked, rubbing her eyes. He grinned at how beautiful she was when she had just awoken.

"Six thirty." He responded. Her eyes widen and she flew to a sitting position.

"Oh, Jack. I'm so sorry. I was reading and then I closed my eyes just for a minute and-" he looked at her puzzled, cutting her off.

"Why are you sorry?"

"Because I haven't made dinner or even been to the grocery store yet today!" She looked so flustered that he stifled a laugh, sitting down beside her.

"Well then, I guess we'll just have to go out." He kissed her neck gently before looking back at her. She sighed.

"Are you sure? I meant to go, the day just got away from me." He smiled and nodded, standing.

"Yes, it's fine. Since when do I care about when you have dinner ready?" Jack laughed as he moved to the kitchen. She turned to face him, still sitting on the couch, and shrugged.

"I don't know, it's just my duty as your soon-to-be wife. I want to make sure you're happy." He flashed his bright smile at her and she blushed, loving it.

"Kate, food isn't what makes me happy. But I appreciate your above and beyond attitude." As Jack walked past the counter, he noticed a manilla envelope on the counter next to Kate's purse, one that looked like it might contain pictures. He reached for it. "What's in here?" he asked curiously. Kate peered toward what he was talking about and as he lifted the envelope she stood quickly, running toward him.

"No, don't!" She grabbed it from him and he stepped back, shocked at her reaction. A concerned, questioning look crossed his face. "I mean-," she started again, now feeling foolish, "you can't see what's in here." A puzzled look covered his face as he moved back toward her, once again reaching for the envelope. She pulled it away, holding it behind her, a giggle escaping her lips. "I said no."

"Why, though? What's in there?" His laughed made him more curious and he reached again, around her this time.

"You can't see it, Jack. It's not for you." She was laughing now, moving away from him, across the kitchen. He continued after her slowly, unsure of what she was keeping from him but having a feeling that he really wanted to know what it was. Her laughter ensued him.

"Why not? What is it?" He asked again, now laughing with her, watching her run around the kitchen to get away from him. She dodged him a few times, feeling like a football player who had possession of the ball. He grabbed her small waist, pulling her to him, as he stretched her arm out as far as possible to keep the envelope away.

"No!" She squealed, laughing hard now. He laughed behind her, still reaching for the envelope.

"Tell me what's in it!" he growled playfully against her ear but she shook her head viciously.

"Nope!" She managed to wiggle free but he grabbed her arm and she slipped, hitting the floor with a thud, pulling him down almost on top of her, causing even more hysterical laughter to come from her lips. "Oww" she moaned between her laughter, still holding the envelope tightly as she rubbed her hip. He crawled toward her.

"Now see, if you'd just told me-" she cut him off, scurrying away on her knees.

"No Jack!" She was laughing so hard she had trouble moving, her stomach in pain from the muscles contracting. "If you see it, it's bad luck!" At that he released her foot a bit, knowing then what was in the envelope. He pulled her to him, close. A soft smile eased his laughter, as he looked in her eyes. She had tears streaming down her face from the laughter and he brushed them away.

"Is it your dress?" he asked sheepishly.

"Yes," she responded, chuckling. "If you see it, it won't be a surprise." She held the envelope, as if inspecting it. He lifted her chin, placing a kiss on her lips.

"I'm sorry, my curiosity got the best of me. With your reaction, I just had to know." He laughed, rubbing her hip. "Are you all right?" He asked tenderly. She threw her head back in a laugh.

"Yes! Promise me you won't steal a peek at them!" She reached her pinky out for his. He reached up without hesitation.

"I promise." She looked at him in his suit and laughed at his position on the ground.

"I'm sorry about your suit." She pulled the tie playfully. He looked down at himself and then back at her.

"Ahh, its the most action its seen today. The hospital was dull. How's Aaron?" he asked, looking around. "Where is he, anyway?"

"He's good, he's at your mom's. She called this morning to ask if she could borrow him. She was feeling lonely I think." They both laughed. "She's so nice, Jack."

"She is great. What time do we need to pick him up?" Jack asked, kissing her neck. She giggled softly, tilting her head to give him better access.

"Whenever. She said she would feed him dinner so probably around 7 or 8."

"Just enough time," he muttered, devouring her lips. She smiled against him, leaning back on the hard lenolium.

After a shower, Jack threw a shirt on over his dark jeans. "Hey Kate," he called toward the bathroom. "I'm going to go get Aaron. I'll pick some pizza up on the way home. The Sox game starts at 9, so I'll be back by then." She emerged in a towel and he wasn't totally convinced he was ready to leave yet. They may have a few issues in their relationship, but intimacy wasn't one of them.

"Okay. I'll work on some laundry and clean up a bit." He walked over to her, giving her a slow kiss before walking toward to stairs. "I'll see you in a bit."

"Love you baby." He smiled before walking down the stairs. She glowed as she responded.

"I love you, Jack. Drive safe." She heard his feet down the stairs and then the front door shut. She threw on some comfy clothes and began gathering whites, lights, and darks for laundry. As she began her piles, she noticed Jack still had a packed suitcase from moving back and figured she'd give the clothes a wash and add them to his side of the closet. As she opened the suitcase, she began sorting the clothes. Grabbing a pair of khaki shorts, a bottle sprung loose from the pocket, rolling past her feet. Curious, Kate bent to pick it up, noticing it was a pill bottle. It had his name on it, and she read the label outloud. "Clonazapam. Huh" She noticed it was empty and wondered what it was for, having never seen this type of name before. She shrugged, placing it on his dresser, and proceeding with her laundry. She wasn't going to let her curiousity get the best of her, though she knew she'd ask him about it later. And hopefully he'd have the right answer. Or at least an honest answer.


	7. Chapter 7

Okay. Sorry for the delay on this chapter. There are many things coming in the works so bear with me. Next chapter should be up tomorrow evening or Wednesday. Please let me know what you think! :-)

Also, credit to onetreefan for an idea that contributed to this chapter. And to Jimelda for an idea coming soon. Thanks to everyone for their reviews! :-) Let me know what you think of this one!

Songs I used to write this chapter are as follows, if you'd like to listen to them while you read: "Secret Garden" by Bruce Springsteen (first and last scene), and "That's Why I'm Here" by Kenny Chesney (Jack's scene). You can listen to them on YouTube. I do not own them or LOST. ENJOY!

Chapter 7

Kate sipped on a cup of tea as she listened to the music coming over the stereo. Sitting on the floor of her living room, she was surrounded by her cds, trying to make a list of songs for Jack. They were in the process, a very slow process, of picking their first dance, and Kate was having trouble attaching to a song. Every song she listened to was a love song, but she was trying to find a love song that described them. She was hoping to find something that covered their time together, on the island and off. It was not as easy as she had hoped it would be though. She hoped Jack was having better luck.

She sighed, shifting uncomfortably on the floor. She hadn't been feeling well this day, struggling with a stuffed up nose, a cough, and nausea. Aaron had been sick last week with a cold so she hoped it was that and nothing more. Leaning back against the couch, she heard Aaron coming before he was even in the room.

"Mommy!"

"Yes, baby?" She smiled as he sat beside her.

"Whatcha doin?" he layed his head on her shoulder.

"Listening to some music. What can I do for you?"

"When is Jack gonna be home?" she laughed. It was always about Jack. She looked at the clock.

"Soon. Probably ten minutes." He usually called to say he was on his way home and she hadn't heard yet from him today, she still figured that he would be on time. It wasn't like him to be late. "You'll hear his truck when he pulls in." She assured the little boy. He nodded vigorously.

"Okay Mommy." He was then up and off, galavanting toward the office, where he had set up camp with all of his Star Wars toys. She smiled lovingly as she watched him run from the room. He was so special to her. She didn't know where she would be if she hadn't been able to take him home with her that first day off of the plane.

Jack sat in a parking lot, staring at his phone. He felt the tightness in his chest, constricting him breathing, and the feeling of need, need for something he shouldn't have. He hadn't had a drink in the weeks he had been back at Kate's, knowing himself and knowing he didn't want to dissapoint her and Aaron. Not to mention he had a feeling she'd kick him out if she knew he was drinking again. He was also all out of his anti-anxiety medication and he was feeling a little paniced. It made him angry that he needed the substances to get through his days, and he didn't know how to ask for help. Or what would help him.

He had seen the pill bottle on the dresser when they had gone to bed last week, but she hadn't said a word. She had been just as sweet as normal, and they made love just as usual, so though he was worried about what she would say, he didn't think she even knew what it was. And the fact that it had been empty probably helped his case. Bless her heart for not calling him out, as had happened to him in the past. She simply trusted him. She never asked questions or judged him. And he loved her so much for those things.

Jack pushed open the door, feeling defeated, walking toward the door of the building. He needed this, he knew it. But no one else knew. No one else knew his agony, his abuse. And the past five weeks had been difficult. And though he love sustained him, and made him feel was making the right decision, it didn't make it any easier. Reaching in his pocket, a rolled the coin around, pushing the door open. Up the stairs, to the right, and he was where he needed to be, where he couldn't ever confess to Kate, was where he went when he couldn't take the ache any longer, the longing to give him and have just one. Because he knew, better than most, that one turned into ten and he would be right back where he had started. And he had come too far to ruin what he, Kate, and Aaron had. Not this time.

He was greeted by familiar faces, some smiles, some distressed. He welcomed himself to a cup of coffee and a seat, watching the young girl speaking about her difficult week. He knew her pain. They all did.

He felt more at ease, surrounded by people who knew how he felt. When it came to his turn, he stood, looking down at the ground. The counselor smiled at him, a woman who had known his father. "Hello, Jack." She greeted, ever so genuinely. He sighed, knowing he had done the right thing.

"Hi." He took a deep breath before beginning, slowly. "Today is one of those days, I'm dying for a drink. But I didn't. I came here instead. It's been a struggle but I'm trying. I'm trying really hard this time," he paused, suddenly feeling choked up. "I didn't try for Sarah, I didn't know how. But I'm trying for Kate. I'm doing this for Kate. I can't lose her." He took a deep breath. "We're getting married in three months." The counselor smiled at him, as if she was proud.

"Have you told her, Jack?"

"No, I haven't. I can't bring myself too." he felt sheepish, ashamed.

"Why?" the woman pushed him softly. He needed those little pushes.

"Because," he again felt the tears burn his eyes, "she'll know I'm a failure." Everyone in the room felt his pain, because they all knew what it was like to feel that way.

"Jack, she won't think you're a failure. She'll be proud. She will be proud that you are becoming the father now that your father had been unable to be when you were Aaron's age. Your father will be proud too." She always had the right words. Through the tears, and the pained look he had, he smiled at her. Sniffling, he wiped his eyes with his thumb and pointer finger.

"I hope so. I love her so much. I'll tell her soon, I promise." He took a seat, suddenly feeling exhausted. He didn't feel like talking about anything else, listening quietly to everyone else who felt the need to talk, feeling comforted. This was the right place for him to be, though he couldn't admit it outloud. And he knew he would tell her, he just wasn't sure he was ready.

Kate rubbed Aaron's back, soothing him to sleep. It was late, with still no word from Jack. She assumed the surgery he had had earlier had run late, or maybe there had been an emergency, and assured Aaron that Jack would be there in the morning. Because even though he wasn't home yet, and she had yet to hear from him, she knew he would be there. He had proven that over the past few weeks. He was always there.

Assured Aaron was asleep, she made her way down the stairs, slowly. The nausea she had been feeling was terrible. She hoped it went away sooner rather than later. She found herself sitting on the stairs by the front door, fighting the urge to vomit. Just as she felt she had it almost under control, the front door unlocked and open, reveiling a tired looking Jack, dressed in his scrubs. She smiled, through her pain, welcoming him.

"Hey you! I was getting a little worried," she joked quietly, standing slowly. Jack smiled back at her so tenderly it made her heart skip.

"Kate," he greeted, moving quickly to her and engulfing her in a strong hug, holding her tighly against him, as if they hadn't seen each other in days. She hugged him back, now a little concerned. "I missed you," he whispered into her dark mane.

"I missed you too," she leaned back, cupping his face. "Are you all right?" she asked, her brow furroughed, as she searched his hazel eyes. As he began to nod, she was overcome, pushing him to the side. "Hold that thought!" she said in a pained voice, sprinting around the corner. Concerned now, he followed her, his stride quick.

"Kate? Are you-" he was cut off by her sounds in the bathroom. _Is she sick?_ he thought to himself, now worried about what he had missed while at his AA meeting. He knocked softly when the bathroom went quiet. "Kate?" he called quietly through the door, before opening it. She was on the floor next to the toilet, face pale, with the back of her hand against her mouth, trying to ease the nausea waves that continued. Her breathing labored, he moved to her, placing a hand on her forehead. "What's the matter?" he questioned. She wasn't warm, but she didn't look well.

"I don't know, I've felt terrible today. I think it's just a-" before she could finish, she was again over the toilet. She finished her sentence when she was finished, leaning her back against the wall, "bug."

"Oh honey," he said sympathetically. He sat next to her, pulling her close. She muttered against his shirt.

"Where were you tonight? Everything okay?" She asked. He looked to the heavens as this was not the way he wanted to tell her about where he'd been. He kissed her forehead.

"Everything is fine. I just had a late meeting after surgery." Jack pulled her face up toward his so he could see her eyes. He searched them. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I-" she paused before throwing up again. He rubbed her back and held her hair, searching his brain for what he could do to comfort her. If this continued, it was going to be a long night.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

***Thank you for all the reviews! You all are so wonderful! I'm excited to be continuing this story as far as it has come and I hope you all continue enjoying it. Please keep coming with ideas and insight, it's wonderful! I hope you all enjoy this chapter! :)

-Also, sorry about the typos, sometimes I finish these chapters in a hurry and post them because I'm always trying to fit in time to write before work or something so I just post them before I re-read them. So again, sorry for any typos or fragment sentences.

-Cortney**

Jack watched Kate asleep on the couch, a wet face cloth over her eyes and a trash can by her head in case she had to throw up. She was very pale and he was concerned she was really sick, but was unsure about what she might have. With no fever, and no sign of the flu, he didn't know what was making her so ill. He hoped it was something easy, like food poisoning or appendicitis. Not that those were good things but they were manageable.

He felt bad he had gone to his meeting instead of coming straight home, or even calling. Jack knew himself though and he had needed that meeting, that reassurance that he could continue down the right path, because sometimes it was more difficult than he let on, even to himself. He could only talk himself off the ledge so many time before he needed someone else to do it for him. He wanted terribly to tell Kate about his where-abouts, about his meetings and his rehab, but he was afraid. He was afraid that shewould reject him or feel like he was not good enough to be around Aaron, or even a bad influence on the young boy. So many thoughts swirled through his head as he sat watching his beautiful fiancee sleep.

She knew about Sarah. That was true. But she didn't know everything. She didn't know about the surgery or how he'd been a 'miracle worker'. But he felt that she knew enough, knowing he had loved Sarah and she had left him for someone else, cheating on him in the process. He had been devastated, having failed at the one thing he had wanted to suceed at. Being a surgeon, however, was a time consuming, stressful job and not every woman understood the demands he had on his time. He was trying hard though, to keep this relationship together, to keep her happy. And she was so steady, his rock, and never once didn't trust him or question him about where was or what he was doing. They both knew he would never cheat on her, he was too much of a good man for that.

Jack glanced at the clock. She had been sleeping soundly for two hours since having been sick, and he suspected that whatever was in her system was gone now. He had cleaned up the house, done a load of laundry, and done the dishes, wanting to make sure her day tomorrow was as easy for her as possible. Maybe he'd take the day off, he pondered, to help her around the house and with Aaron. He didn't have any appointments or any pressing paperwork to attend too. Yeah, that sounded like a nice idea.

His attention moved back to the petite woman on the couch as her eyes fluttered open. She lay still for a moment, seeming to adjust to where she was, before turning her head toward him where he say in the chair across from her. She smiled faintly, exhausted.

"How are you feeling?" he asked, dropping to his knees by her waist, grabbing her hand. She wasn't one to be sick, ever. He had been sick twice since leaving the Island, but she had the immune system of a horse.

"Ok, I think." She tried to push herself to a sitting position. "It smells clean in here," she remarked softly, looking around. "Did you clean?"

"Well I just picked up and did some laundry, nothing too exciting." He flashed his smile at her and she melted.

"Jack, you didn't have to. That's so sweet of you. I am so sorry I'm sick, I don't know what has been with me." She snuggled under the soft blanket he provided her, and he sat beside her, reading her face for a sign of how she truly felt.

"You're welcome. You work so hard around here, you deserve it." He kissed her forehead and she felt faint.

"I'm so tired."

"Do you want to try to go up to bed? It's late."

"Not yet, I still don't trust my stomach. Let's wait here a few and let me feel this out." She leaned back between the cushions and flicked the tv on. "How was your day?" she made casual conversation.

"Good, busy. Two surgerys. Nothing out of the ordinary." He wasn't really lying, just not telling the complete truth.

"Aaron missed you at dinner. But he has lots of stories for you for tomorrow morning." She giggled as she began to rub her small foot.

"Yeah, I'm sorry about that. I got held up at a meeting." Once again, he wasn't really lying.

"It's okay. What is your schedule tomorrow?" she relished in his foot massage. He definitly had surgeon's hands.

"I'm gonna take the day off. Take care of you and spend quality time with the little one." Kate looked slightly shocked.

"Really? You don't have to do that, I'll manage just fine." She said it but was secretly thrilled for extra time home with him.

"I know but I want to. I haven't seen you guys much this week, and I miss you." He planted a small kiss on her big toe and she giggled, before he face turned a little paler. "Still not feeling well?" he sympathized.

"Nahh, maybe it's time for bed. Especially since I get to spend the day with you tomorrow!" She was excited, truth be told.

"I don't know, missy, the doctor's orders may be to stay in bed and get well." He winked at her as he moved, sliding his arm around her back and under her knees, scooping her up.

"We'll see about that. I'll be fine in the morning." He chuckled but didn't say anything, hoping would be true. He carried her up the stairs and layed her gently on her side of the bed. Crawling in beside her, he held her lightly, again feeling how she didn't have a fever. He hoped it was gone and she'd be fine in the morning. "I love you," he whispered. "Wake me if you need anything at all." She snuggled against his chest, feeling at peace.

"I love you too. Goodnight, Jack." She spoke softly, sleep coming quickly to her. He felt at home with her in his arms and he felt sleep coming as well. He'd tell her, for sure. He just didn't know when. But soon.

Kate woke to the sound of little feet and whispers. She slowly opened her eyes, coming face to face with Aaron, a brilliant smiling lighting his face. She smiled back, yawning.

"Good morning, sweet pea." She said, shifting. And as she did, she noticed the breakfast that lay in front of her of hot tea and crackers, the perfect sickness breakfast. She smiled, surprised.

"Good morning, Mommy! Please eat this so you get better soon!" he climbed onto the bed and she grabbed him, hugging him tightly. "And guess what, Mommy? Jack's staying home to play with us!" The boy's eyes danced as he spoke.

"I know, how wonderful is that?" she reached for her tea, inhaling the ginger smell deeply. She already felt better it seemed, she thought.

Jack made his entrance, carrying a basket full of clean clothes, including Kate's favorite cotton robe. He wrapped it around her shoulders, and it smelled of sweet fabric softner.

"Jack, you be careful or I'm going to get used to this treatment." She smirked, snuggling into the robe. She sipped her tea as he laughed.

"Just trying to pull my weight around here," he lifted little Aaron off the bed, holding him upside down as the child squealed with laughter. This was how she wanted to wake up every morning. Her two boys were here with her and everything seemed right with the world. Deep down inside though she had a nudging feeling she knew what was causing her nausea the past few days and she was afraid that she might be right.

Kate stood in their master bathroom, pacing the floor slowly, staring at her watch. She had managed to run out to the grocery store and get the one thing she needed to prove her theory wrong. Or at least she hoped it would prove her wrong. She wasn't sure she was ready for what may lay ahead, and had no idea how she would tell Jack. She wrang her hands together as she paced, feeling a slight sense of panic as the clocked ticked. A knock at the door startled her, causing her heart to jump.

"Kate, you all right in there?" called Jack through the door. She had locked it so she knew he wasn't coming in, that he couldn't catch her.

"Yeah, I'm fine, just feeling a little sick. I'll be out in a minute." She definitly felt sick, sick with anxiety.

"Ok, baby. Let me know if you need anything." He called back. She loved him terribly, he was so sweet to her.

"Thanks, Jack. Love you!"

"Love you too, sweetie." she sighed at the words, her stomach settling a little bit. She noticed the time, only a minute left to wait.

What would they do if it was positive? What would she say? She didn't know how it had happened, she was on her birth control, and granted they didn't use condoms but they were getting married, was that so irresponsible? She was worried he'd think she did it on purpose, or that he might get mad. How could he be mad though, he loved her. The timing sort of sucked though, with the wedding only less than three months away. Her heart sped as she watched the last seconds tick by.

She reached for the test, pulling it to her. She held it as she had done in the past, feeling the tears well up. They streamed freely as she sat on the tub, holding the test. And even though the tears streamed, her breathing was slow and easy, her heart still racing however. She continued to stare at the test, unsure of her next move.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

Kate felt nervous as she finished her hair and applied her makeup. The past few days had been a whirlwind for her, only in her head of course. It had been four days since she'd taken four pregnancy tests. She had managed to sneak back out to the grocery door the day Jack had taken off work and bought three more tests, all of them telling her the one thing she didn't know if she was ready for. Jack continued to atribute her nausea and emotional distress to whatever illness he seemed to think she had, much to her relief. She didn't know how to tell him and she wanted to make sure if was definite before she told him. No reason dragging him down the path of unsureness along with her, especially with Aaron being so receptive. It was now Monday and she had made her first appointment with an Ob-gyn to confirm the pregnancy. Then she would at least figure out how to tell him. She felt sick, and wasn't sure of it was from the pregnancy or her anxiety.

As soon as the nanny arrived, she instructed Aaron to behave and headed for her car. Putting her Volvo in drive, and turned the radio on to drown some of her fears and anxiety. She was met with a song that eased her fears a little, surprisingly. She smiled as she listened to the words and it put a little happiness in her heart about the whole situation. She wanted to be excited, but she knew that wouldn't come until she told him, until she knew his reaction. The thought of a little being growing inside her did give her butterflies every time she should about it, that she couldn't deny.

Arriving at the doctor's office, she felt bad she hadn't told Jack she was coming here or even about her fears. She filled out her paperwork inside and sat in the waiting room, her heart racing. There was no denying it, at this point, she was terrified. The nurse called her name and Kate followed her down the white halls to the exam room. The nurse instructed her to sit on the exam table, and explained that she was going to take blood to test for any infections or abnormal counts. As soon as the needle entered her arm she regretted not telling Jack, not having him at her side. She breathed deeply, calming herself, thinking of all the scars she'd had and thinking that there may still be a chance that this was just that. Maybe she wasn't actually pregnant and all the tests were wrong. Maybe.

The nurse placed a bandaid over Kate's arm, excusing herself, saying the doctor will be right in. Kate waited patiently, looking around at all the pregnancy diagrams and pictures of babies in the womb and started to silently panic. She was going to have a baby? Her, Kate Austen? A felon on probation for killing someone? Her eyes filled and she worried she was not cut out for such a job as motherhood. But then she thought of Aaron, and how blessed she was to have him. She was almost her own, having aquired him at 5 weeks, and she even delivered him, the only thing she didn't do was carry him or feel the pain of labor. But she felt the fear and maybe that was all she needed, maybe she'd be fine. So many thoughts ran through her head it exhausted her. She was almost thankful when the door opened about ten minutes later and a blonde haired woman in her thirties with a white doctor's coat entered, a nice smile across her face.

"Ms. Austen? I'm Dr. Shelli Patterson," Kate stood and they shook hands, Kate giving her a tense smile.

"Hi, nice to meet you." Kate took her seat back on the exam table and the doctor took her place on a stool by a computer, reviewing Kate's chart.

"So I see this is going to be your first? Congratulations." The woman smiled and Kate felt nauseous again. "Let me just ask you a few questions and we will then see exactly how far along you are." Kate's mind raced.

"So, I am pregnant?" She asked, afraid. The woman laughed.

"Oh, sorry, I figured your already knew. Yes, Ms. Austen, you are going to have a baby, your blood test confirms it." Kate felt her eyes tear up again, wishing them away. She gave a meek smile. "Have you had any sexually transmitted diseases?"

"No,"

"Any history of high blood pressure during pregnancy?"

"Not that I know of in my family. I'm an only child."

"Okay, that's fine. We'll monitor that anyway." She noticed Kate's face was pale. "Are you okay, Ms. Austen?" Kate nodded her head, though she did feel sick.

"Yes, I'm okay, just not feeling well." She touched her stomach as if for emphasis and felt different for the first time. _There's a little someone in there_, she thought to herself.

"That's to be expected. It'll last through your first trimester. Why don't you take your jeans off put this over yourself and we'll have a look on the ultrasound and see how far along you are." Kate took the gown, now terribly wished she'd brought Jack. The doctor left and she undressed alone. She then climbed back up on the table, laying back and placing the gown over her lower half. Dr Patterson re-entered the room a few moments later, situating her computer and readying Kate for the ultrasound. The doctor lifted Kate's shirt, exposing her still thin stomach, placing her towel and the gown right above her pubic bone. Kate suddenly felt so exposed and afraid, but in that moment she thought of an old story someone once had told her, and as the picture became clear on the monitor, she counted to five silently, her breathing slowing with each breath. "Don't be nervous," the doctor encouraged, "this is quick and painless." She placed the gel-covered mechanism on Kate's abdomen, and began a search for the time embryo that would be her baby. Silently Kate watched and waited. It seemed like an eternity, but only a minute, before Dr. Patterson smiled brightly. "There is it." She showed Kate on the screen the tiny shape on the monitor. "Do you see it there? That's the beginning of your baby. It looks like you're about 10 weeks along, which is actually after when we'd give you your first ultrasound. But everything looks good, so far." She pressed a few buttons on the computer, and a printer started. "I'll give you a few pictures to take home and show your husband." Kate smiled faintly at the words, still transfixed on the tiny being on the screen. She somehow felt calmer. The doctor disturbed her thoughts, flicking on the lights.

"Go ahead and wipe yourself off and put your jeans back on and we'll chat a little more about what to expect in the next few weeks." She left quietly and Kate quickly dressed. All of a sudden she had so many questions to ask, about her having had wine recently, what was proper care she needed to take with a pregnancy and what foods she should and shouldn't eat. She wanted to know all the facts before she told Jack. How she would tell him though, hadn't crossed her mind yet.

As Kate pulled into the driveway, she noticed Jack's truck parked in its spot and felt a little bad she was late. She had to pick up prenatel vitamins and some anti-nausea medication the doctor had recommended and had also picked up some groceries. It was only 6:30 so she hoped Jack would not be too put off by her late-ness.

She grabbed the bags and carried them inside, smiling at the sound of Jack and Aaron playing upstairs. "Hey boys, I'm home," she called up the stairs as she moved toward the kitchen. Her voice was followed by footsteps, big and small, coming down the stairs. Aaron collided with her leg and Jack moved in for a kiss. "Aww, everyone is so happy to see me," she laughed as she picked Aaron up, forgetting for a moment what the doctor had said about weight restrictions when it came to lifting things. "Hi sweet pea," she said as she kissed his face. She looked at Jack, "How long have you been home?"

"Just about ten minutes, I just sent Veronica home. They had a great day together, I hear." He ruffled the boy's hair as he moved to the bags, starting to look through them. She panicked, putting Aaron down quickly and stepping between him and the bags, trying to be as stealth as possible. She placed her hands seductivly on his waist, moving him back a little.

"Hey, do you think you could give Aaron a bath for me while I get dinner ready? I'm sorry I was late, I went to the store and had to run some extra errands." She gave him a kiss and he smiled at her, wanting her.

"All right...then can I bathe you?" he whispered, rousing a giggle from her lips.

"We'll see," she taunted, picking the bags up and carrying them to the counter, grateful she had managed to stop him before he say the vitamins. That would surely tip him off. She wasn't sure where she was going to hide them as it was, there weren't many places in the house he didn't go. She'd have to look around and maybe get creative. She did have to tell him sooner or later, she knew, but she wasn't sure yet what the best way to do that was yet. It was still so new to her she wanted to get used to the idea before telling him, so she could at least act somewhat confident.

After dinner, and putting Aaron to bed, the two snuggled up together on the soft couch, Jack flipping channels as Kate thought about ways to break her news. She didn't know if tonight was the right time but she didn't want too much time to go by before she said something. How long could she really keep it a secret anyway? And if she did, that would only make him madder, she knew. He was the father, after all, he deserved to know.

Jack rubbed her shoulder as he contemplated ways to tell her about his meetings. He wanted her to know, he wanted her to come, to be there for his turn to talk, maybe she'd understand his behavior a little better. He was dying for her acceptance on this and he knew she had seen the pill bottle and that made him feel all the more obligated to tell her about where he would dissapear off to after work, or on the weekends when he told her he was going to the gym. He didn't like lying to her about anything, let alone something so innocent. _When would there be a better time than now? _he thought to himself, taking a deep breath.

As if on que, they both spoke at once.

"I have some-" they laughed in unison, Kate looking up at him. She smiled, feeling relief he had something to say first.

"You go first," she countered, moving to sit next to him, cross-legged, facing him. He took aother deep breath, rubbing his temples. She tilted her head to the side as if in question, unsure of what he could have to say that would make him so stressed. He was silent for a moment before beginning.

"Kate, I have to tell you something. I want you to know how much I love you and how much I love Aaron. This is hard for me, so be patient. Please understand, too, that I have wanted to tell you before now but I haven't been sure what'd you think." He tried to read her face but all she had was concern, and love. "I've been going to meetings," he paused, "for my drinking problem." She waited silently for him to continue, her look never faultering.

"Like AA?" she asked quietly. He nodded, looking away. It was as if he just admitted failure to her, he felt. She reached and grabbed his face, turning it to her. "I am so proud of you!" he was shocked by her smiled as she kissed him deeply. "How long have you been going?" She inquired, still holding his face tenderly.

"Since I moved back in. I did it for you and Aaron. After our fight, " he drifted off and she kissed him again. "I just couldn't bare what you had said

"Jack, I am so proud of you!" she spoke strongly but quietly. "Why didn't you tell me before?"

"Because I was afraid that you would think I failed. That I couldn't fix myself or my own problems." She shook her head and he thought he saw a tear stream down her cheek.

"Jack, I could never think you failed, especially for that. I am so proud of you, and I am so excited for you. I knew I hadn't seen you drink but didn't want to say anything to you about it because I didn't want to fight. I am so proud of you." she kept repeating it because she wanted him to know how truly proud she was, proud he'd taken the step she had hoped to herself he would take if he felt he needed it. And he had, on his own, and it make her feel such a radiating love for him. She knew now that she could tell him about the baby. Their baby.

His eyes were filled with tears as he looked back at her. She hadn't responded at all like he was afraid she would. She responded just how his councelor had said she would, she was proud of him. It was something he wasn't used to, even at his age. He kissed her back deeply, whispering an "I love you" against her lips. She pulled back, holding his hands. "I love you, so much." she spoke it with such love, that he couldn't help himself, laying her back against the couch cushions and kissing her so deeply he thought his heart would explode. She made him so happy, he didn't know where the rest of his life had been before now because he felt he hadn't lived before her, before that Island. And now they were going to be together, forever. She was all his, every morning, every evening, every day for the rest of their lives. He carried her to the bedroom, and Kate couldn't bring herself to break the moment they were having, though she wanted badly to tell him. She decided it could wait until tomorrow and she would then tell him about their baby, and hoped he would have the same joy she suddenly felt.

Author's Note: Okay guys, I think I'm satisfied with this chapter...I think. I've re read it three times and can't think of any other way for it to go. So PLEASE let me know what you think. I hope you're happy with the way some of these things played out. The next chapter will be up tomorrow :-) Enjoy!

And also, do to the unanimous vote, I will continue with my storyline and we shall see where that goes. Thank you sooo much for all the feedback, everyone! It was such a pleasure reading everyone's thoughts. I'm as excited to see where this story goes as y'all are! Please keep the feedback coming and let me know what you thought of this chapter.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

***Thanks again to everyone for their reviews! :-D I love reading them and they're all so wonderful. Please be honest with me though and let me know how you truly feel! :-) Hope you enjoy this chapter as you did the last! Thanks again guys! 53 is a new record for me! -Cortney***

Kate settled back on her beach towel, watching Aaron and Jack play in the Pacific Ocean. Though is was a November day, Kate was relishing in the warm sun, watching her two boys play together. She was grateful for the fact she still hadn't gained more than a pound and still looked about the same, being 13 weeks along. She had been dragging out telling him, though she wasn't sure why. With his confession about AA and everything she felt as though they needed to adjust to that life before she sprang another thing on him. He was doing so well being sober, she didn't want to risk a baby before the wedding stressing him out. But she had that to think about too because what she needed her dress to still fit. At least most everyone they knew thought Aaron was her's so they wouldn't question her being pregnant again.

Kate touched her belly subconsiously as she walked toward the boys, Aaron running out of the water to her.

"Mama, come in!" he had a big smile on his face and grabbed her arm, pulling her toward the warm water. She laughed, going with him, smiling at the handsome man standing in front of her in his swim trunks, his hands on his hips. With his hair wet and his sunglasses on, she couldn't get over how attractive he was. He made her knees weak as if she had a school girl crush.

Jack intercepted her, wrapping his arms around her, swinging her around. Wrapping her arms around his neck, she melted into him, and when he put her down they shared a kiss before Jack was tapped on the leg by a tiny hand. "Jack!" Aaron pulled on his shorts. "Take me out farther, please!" Jack and Kate both laughed as Jack let her go, putting the little boy on his back, carrying him out into the water. Kate watched as Jack moved around the waves, never going to far, giving the little boy the thrill he was looking for. Her heart felt warm when she thought about Christmas and Thanksgiving and about how much of a family they had become. She was so happy, especially now with the little one on the way. She needed to tell Jack too so he could be just as happy as she was. At least she hoped he would be.

She made her way back to the towel, laying back down. She knew too much sun wasn't healthy for her or the baby but they hadn't been there long and she wanted to enjoy a little glow on her skin before she was no longer able to put a swim suit on, or at least knowing she probably wouldn't want to. She laughed to herself as she thought of herself pregnant, her petite frame carrying a big baby belly. She couldn't wait to see what she would actually look like. And maternity clothes? She couldn't believe this was actually happening.

"What are you smiling about?" a voice asked, and opening one eye, she was met with that handsome face with those sexy sunglasses and she laughed.

"Oh, nothing. Just a thought." she lied, keeping her place on her towel. He sat beside her, rubbing her arm absent-mindedly.

"Hmm, all right. Hey, my mom said she'd take Aaron if you and I wanted to go to dinner tonight. What do you say?"

"Your mom is the sweetest person ever! As long as she's sure. He should be tuckered out after we leave here but I just want to make sure she's really okay with that."

"Of course she is, she wouldn't have offered if she wasn't. She loves having a grandson." Kate loved that he used that word, grandson. If only he knew Margo would soon have another.

"Okay, if you're sure she wants to take him. That'd be wonderful. Maybe somewhere nice? We haven't done that in a long time." He nodded, contemplating ideas.

"Sure, we'll go downtown somewhere nice. It's a date," he kissed her nose.

"Speaking of Aaron, where is he?" She sat up, looking around. Jack pointed to the young child digging a hole with his shovel a few feet away.

"Going to town over there in that hole. He will definitely be tired when we leave!" they both laughed, sharing a kiss, and then she leaned her head on his shoulder.

"Grandma Margo!" Aaron exclaimed, running through the big front door of the large house. The older woman swooped him up, kissing in face.

"Hi, little one. I'm so glad you're here!" Margo loved having the little boy around, it go lonely in the large house when she was by herself, Jack being grown and her husband gone. It also have her an excuse to get her mind off of things her in mind and enjoy the youth of a small child. Jack kissed his mother on the cheek as she set Aaron down, the young boy running to the large den. She hugged Kate.

"Hi Mom," Jack greeted. "He was very excited to come over. He knows there is some exciting Disney movies in his future." The three adults laughed.

"I love his company." She woman held Kate's hands, looking the younger woman over. "Kate, you are positively glowing. You look great." She complimented as Kate blushed deeply.

"Thank you Margo, we got some sun today for the first time in a while, it felt nice to get outside." They moved toward her kitchen, Margo offering Kate a glass of water. She accepted, never wanting to tell the wonderful woman 'no'. And she felt as though she needed it anyway, as she felt quite flushed under the older woman's gaze. Jack followed Aaron into the den, setting the young boy up by the tv, and un packing his bag of toys he had brought.

"How have you been? Wedding planning going all right?" Jack's mother took a seat at her kitchen table, motioning for Kate to sit.

"Yeah, it's going good. All the RSVPs are back and my dress comes in next week. I'll just need to get it fitted again and then we should be good to go. Thank you again for letting us have the reception here. That's so wonderful of you."

"Oh, it's my pleasure. I'm so happy for you and Jack, it's the least I could do. He really loves you." She glanced toward the other room and Kate blushed again. "So, when did you find out?"

Kate looked up, puzzled. "FInd out what?" she asked.

"That you're pregnant?" Kate's jaw dropped a little and she felt like a kid with her hand caught in the cookie jar.

"I'm sorry, how did you-" Kate had trouble speaking, still in shock that Margo could know such a thing when she hadn't even told Jack yet.

"Oh honey, women my age know these things. You haven't told him yet, have you?" She asked softly. Kate felt ashamed, shaking her head.

"I haven't yet, I'm looking for the right moment." The woman nodded, understandingly.

"How far along are you?"

"13 weeks. I found out at 10." It felt good to confess it to someone, though she knew it was not the right person.

"I knew the moment I saw you, women have a glow about them when they're expecting. You look beautiful, it fits you." She reached across and touched Kate's hand. "Tell him soon. I know how these Shepard men are, trust me, and even though he's like his father in many ways, when it comes to that little boy, he is as different as could be. He'll handle it well, just tell him soon." She squeezed Kate's hand, giving the young woman the encouragement she needed. Kate smiled, feeling a little emotional.

"Thank you, Margo. I will tell him, I was just afraid of what'd he'd think."

"He'll be thrilled, or at least I think he will. He loves Aaron to death." Kate's heart swelled at Margo's assessment of Jack's love for her son. It made her so happy to know he had told his other such a thing. "You're a great mother Kate." Just as she let go of Kate's hand, Jack strolled into the kitchen.

"What's all this girl talk going on in here?" He kissed Kate on the cheek. "You ready, pretty lady?"

"Sure," she stood as Margo did and the two women embraced. Jack was happy Kate and his mother, as Sarah and his mother had not. Jack had always been close to his mother so it meant the world to him that she adored Kate, and Aaron. "Thank you again, Margo." The older woman kissed Kate on the cheek.

"Anytime, sweetie. You two have a great night. Aaron and I will have breakfast ready in the morning for you two, so please come by!" She ushered the two to the door, both kissing Aaron and wishing him goodnight. It had been a while since the two had been alone, enjoying the silence between them in the car on the way to the restaurant. Jack broke the silence a little while into the ride, kissing her hand.

"You look beautiful tonight, Kate. Mom's right, the sun gave you a great glow today." Her hair was blow-dried out straight and the black dressed touched her curves in all the right places. Finished with tall silver heels, she was a sight.

"Thank you," she responded, squeezing his hand. "You don't look too bad yourself."

"I try to clean up once and a while," he chuckled, winking at her. She felt anxious, knowing what she had to do tonight.

Arriving at the restaurant, Jack helped her out of the car and held her hand to the door, opening it for her. _He is such a gentleman_, she thought. The restaurant was nice, right off the beach in the downtown area, romantic and quiet. They had a nice table with candle light, both ordering sparkling water.

"You can have wine, if you like. Don't worry about me, I'm fine." He flashed her a smile and she shook her head.

"No, I'm okay with water, thank you though." She reached across the table, grasping his hand. "I'm very proud of you, Jack."

"Thank you, Kate. It means so much to me for you to say that." They ordered an appetizer and chatted quietly about their wedding and Jack's work. Over dinner, they simply enjoyed their meals, and each other's company, talking simply about easy stuff, no stress, just laughing and enjoying each other, relishing in their alone time. She felt like a true parent, and a true family. Soon it would be official, in more way than one.

As they finished dessert, Kate suggested they take a walk on the beach to work off dinner. Jack agreed and after paying the bill, they walked across the street and down to the water, hand in hand.

The moon was bright on the water, lighting the beach around them. She felt like they were back on the Island but secretly thanked a higher power that they weren't. Life was so much better here than there, but if it weren't for landing on that Island, they never would have found each other. And to her, that was the most important thing. They walked silently for a while before Kate spoke up, taking a deep breath.

"Hey Jack, there's something I've been meaning to tell you." She started slowly, making it up as she went. He looked at her as she stopped walking, dropping her shoes in the sand.

"Sure, what's up?" He rubbed her arms against the slight wind, curious about what she hads to say.

"Well, I'm not sure exactly how to say it, but please bear with me." She shifted uncomfortably in the sand.

"It can't be that bad, Katie, just tell me," he chuckled, wondering what she was so worked up about. He could feel the goosebumps under his hands on her arms. She looked up at him in his eyes, hoping the unsureness she felt wasn't showing through her own. He registered fear on her face. He felt concern suddenly.

"I'm pregnant." There. She said it. And it actually wasn't as bad as she had thought it would be to say it. He was silent for a moment before responding.

"What?" he managed out, not finding any other words.

"Jack, I'm pregnant. You're going to be a father. A real one." She said it slowly, praying for a good reaction. It was dark out on the beach, but she felt like the only reaction she had seen that crossed his face so far was shock.

"You're pregnant?" his eyes flickered to her stomach and back to her eyes. "How far along?" he questioned, unsure.

"Thirteen weeks. I found out a few weeks ago but was waiting for the right moment to tell you." She again felt ashamed.

"And you're sure?" He probed farther, adjusting to the feeling.

"Yeah, I saw a doctor and she confirmed it. I was going to tell you but then you told me about your meetings and I knew you were under a lot of pressure and I didn't want to add to it." She reached into her purse and pulled out the ultrasound picture, using her cellphone as a light. She had circled the little being with a marker to make it easier for him to see. "See? It's right there." She pointed with her finger as he held the picture. "Remember when I was sick? That's what it was. I was having morning sickness." He felt stupid, not having realized that himself, the doctor he was. He starred at the picture.

"That's our baby?" She was worried as he seemed to be having trouble grasping the concept.

"Yes, our baby. You're going to be a dad." She said it gently, urging him to give her a concrete response. He went silent again, and when he looked up at her, she saw tears in his eyes.

"Really?" At that she sighed and laughed softly, tears building in her own eyes.

"Yes, Jack, really." He took one hand off the picture and touched her stomach, as if he needed more proof, though it was still flat. "She said I should start showing soon. I'm sorry I didn't tell you earlier, I just-" He cut her off, placing a hand behind her back and pulling her into a tight hug. She took the minute to regain herself and take in his cologne. When he finally pulled back he had tears streaming and he seemed to be trying to keep himself together. She wiped his tears, her own spilling over.

"You are going to be the most beautiful pregnant woman." He smiled at her and at that moment she knew he accepted it, that he was afraid too, but happy. Just like she had hoped he would be, and how Margo assured her he would be.

"Oh Jack," he placed his forehead against her's and they remained that way for a few moments, as if regaining themselves.

"I can't believe it," he spoke quietly, then laughing. "We really don't do anything the conventional way, do we?"

"Look how and where we met Jack, what do you expect?" They both laughed.

"But how?"

"I'm not sure, maybe it was just meant to be." she shrugged and he kissed her forehead.

"Maybe it was," he chuckled. "I never saw myself as a man of Faith."

"Well, there's no better time to start." They shared a passionate kiss, their tears drying and the feeling settling in that they were going to be parents to their first biological child.

He wrapped an arm around her, sliding the picture into his coat pocket. Picking up her shoes, they began walking back toward their car. "I can't wait to tell Aaron," he sighed happily.

"Are you really happy? Like really?" He stopped abruptly at her questions, turning again to face her, placing his hands on the side of her face.

"Kate, how could I not be happy? We're going to have a baby. I love you so much, there is no one else I could ever be with. Of course I'm happy!" he kissed her again, as if to seal his words.

"Are you afraid or at least a little-"

"Of course I'm afraid! But we've had Aaron this long and he seems relatively normal," he lightened the mood with a joking laugh ,"we'll cross those bridges when we get to them, okay? Don't worry, everything is great! I'm thrilled!" She sighed in relief, feeling all her anxiety fade away like the waves on the shore.

"Okay. Good." They began walking again, Kate enjoying the sand over her feet.

"What do you take me for, anyway?" He jested, bumping her hip playfully with his own.

"Well, you know how you can be, " she spoke honestly but with a laugh. He pulled away in mock anger.

"How I can be? How is that?" she skittered away, laughing as she playfully ran away from him down the beach, him running after her, taunting her. They laughed into the night, as he grabbed her, spinning her around, her hair caressing him softly as they played. How could she be so lucky, she thought to herself. He had handled everything so well lately, it was as if he wasn't the same person she had argued about Sawyer with. But she was happy with him no matter what, and she knew this experience would be something so wonderful to share with him and she couldn't wait for the little thing inside her to begin growing, her stomach expanding. These holidays coming up were definitely going to be ones to remember, starting with them telling Aaron about his soon to be brother or sister. And she could hardly stand her excitement.

*** I am squealing in excitment at this chapter. I hope you all enjoyed it. Please let me know what you think!***


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

***Thank you for all your wonderful reviews! I love reading them! I've got some pretty good chapters coming up, however, including one highly anticipated wedding scene (at least for me lol), which I think you all will enjoy immensely if it comes out like I want it to in my head. ;-) Enjoy!***

Kate was roused from sleep by the feeling of a hand sliding over her bare stomach and settling there. She smiled, feeling the warmth of the hand on her, slowly opening her eyes. It was light out, a beautiful Sunday morning, the sun shining through the blinds in their master bedroom. With Aaron at his grandmother's, the house was quiet, just the sound of morning birds cooing out side the windows. She thought about last night as she moved her head to the other side, Jack's eyes still closed, but a grin across his face. She felt peacefully, feeling as though she could sleep all day, there with him. She thought about his reaction the night before when she had told him her secret, and how he had cried. She knew he was scared of what was to come, but so was she. So many things were about to change, it was a little overwhelming. She covered her hand with his and smiled at his as he opened his eyes. She mouthed 'Good Morning' to him and he yawned.

"Good morning to you," he whispered back. He pulled her close to him and she settled against him, his hand still managing to find its way to her belly.

"Is that going to be permanently attached to my stomach?" she laughed. He nodded.

"You better believe it, I'm feeling every inch of this little one growing," She nodded, giving him a 'riiight' look, before dropping her head against him, noting how he still smelled of his sweet cologne.

"When do you want to go to your mother's for brunch?"

"In a little bit, I want to enjoy some more adult time with you first." He began kissing her neck, moving his way down her body, before coming to rest on her belly. "I can't believe you're pregnant." She gazed down at him as he carressed her stomach.

"Me either. It's kind of strange actually, to think something is growing in there." Her stomach growled as if on command and they both laughed. "Apparently it's hungry." Jack placed butterfly kisses all over her belly, causing her to fall into giggles.

"When is your next appointment?" he asked, resting his head lightly on her.

"Two weeks. She said I should be showing by then." 

"I can't wait for that. You will have the cutest baby belly." She laughed softly again before turning somber.

"Listen, I'm sorry I didn't tell you before. I wanted to be sure and I was afraid of what you might say." He lifted his head up, moving to lay back beside her.

"What did you think I'd say?" he asked calmly, searching her face.

"I don't know, I just wasn't sure that you would be happy. I mean, we're not married yet and Aaron is still very young, and it wasn't planned..." she drifted off, as he touched her face.

"Of course I'd be happy, Kate. I mean, I'm scared to death, but we're in this together right? And besides, some of the best things in my life weren't planned." He gazed at her lovingly, kissing her forehead. They layed next to each other for a long moment just staring into one another's eyes, before Jack moved over her, kissing her. "I love you, Kate. I'm so glad we're having a baby." He layed himself gently on her, searching her face. "Does that hurt?" She looked at him quizzically.

"Does what hurt?" she inquired.

"Me on you like this? Does it hurt you or the baby?" Sometimes she wondered if he was really a doctor. She laughed out loud.

"Of course not, silly. I'm not glass. The little thing is very protected by my abdominal wall right now and plus, I don't think it knows pain right yet." She cocked a smile at him and lowered her voice, "It feels good to me, though." He laughed a sexy laugh that caught her everytime before burying his head in her neck, kissing her, as they enjoyed not having to worry about waking the little boy who was not in the other room.

Driving over to his mother's house, each sipping on their coffee, she thought she might as well bring up her conversation with Margo from the day before.

"Just so you know, Jack," She started, a wry smile over her face, "your mom already knows." He looked over at her, questioning her.

"You told my mother before you told me?" he questioned. She was unable to read his reaction completly.

"No, she guessed. She asked me when I found out, and I was like what? And she just knew. She said that was the glow I had." She shrugged, sipping her coffee. "She said older women know those things."

"Apparently, because I had no idea that was why you were sick. Or at least I didn't think it was actually a possibility." He pulled into his mother's driveway, shutting off the car. "So when should we tell Aaron?"

"We can tell him right now if you want, or we can wait until I'm actually showing. What do you think?" She unbuckled her seatbelt, looking over at him.

"Let's just tell him now, because I'm dying to." His smile was bright as she agreed. She knew the little boy would be excited, if he understood what they were talking about. They welcomed themselves into his mother's large house, Aaron running to meet them.

"Mommy, Jack!" he flung his little arms around Kate's legs, and she picked him up, receiving a worried glare from Jack. She ignored it, knowing she wasn't not going to hold her child just because she was expecting another. She kissed his face before Jack took him from her.

"Hey kiddo! Did you have fun?" He asked, as they followed the delicious smells into the kitchen.

"Yes! We played Star Wars and watched "Aladin!" the little boy was bouncing up and down in Jack's arms as they walked toward the kitchen to where Margo was cooking breakfast for all of them. "I buttered the toast!" Aaron said proudly, pointing at the spray butter. Both Kate and Jack laughed at their little one, telling him they were proud. Jack put Aaron in his chair and then embraced his mother.

"Hi, Mom. Thanks again for taking him last night, hope he wasn't a handfull." Jack helped himself to a glass of orange juice, leaning against the counter. Margo smiled at her tall son, also sending a secretive grin toward Kate.

"He's a wonderful child, never a handfull. Did you two have a nice evening?" she inquired, looking between the two. Kate blushed hard as Jack nodded.

"We had a great night, mom. Thank you again." He moved toward Aaron, deciding this was as good a time as any. Kate got closer to Margo for a moment, whispering an "I told him" with a big grin. Margo raised her eyebrows. "How'd it go?" she whispered back. "Perfect," Kate responded before moving to Aaron where he and Jack were talking.

"So, Aaron, Mommy and I have something to tell you." Jack looked up expectantly at Kate and she moved into his spot, figuring she knew the better communication with the little guy.

"Aaron, you're going to have a brother or sister." Aaron looked confused, looking from Jack and to Kate, and they smiled tenderly as she continued. "I'm going to have another baby." She chose the word another carefully, as Aaron was not aware currently of where he had come from. "It's going to grow right here." She pointed to her belly, trying her best to give some semblance of a bump. "And then in five months, you'll have a brother or a sister." She spoke slowly so the little boy could take it all in.

"A baby?" he repeated. She laughed tenderly, kissing his head.

"Right, a baby. And it's going to grow in my belly. I'm gonna get really fat," she said laughing, "and then poof, you'll have a brother or sister to play with."

"I want a brother," he stated, biting his toast. Jack kissed the top of Kate's head in reassurance as they both laughed, knowing the little boy was a bit to young to grasp the concept at three but soon he would understand, especially once the baby was actually there, in person.

"Okay, kiddo, we'll see what we can do," Jack replied, tousling his hair. He turned to see his mother gazing at him, tears in her eyes. "Mom, are you okay?"

"Oh yes, Jack. I'm just so excited you're finally having a baby. I've waited your whole adult life for this!" She spoke softly as not to disturb Aaron from his cartoons, embracing her son as he reached her. "I'm so happy for you, Jack. Congratulations."

"Oh Mom, don't cry. I'm excited too and probably did enough crying for the both of us last night." the three adults laughed as Margo leaned back, holding her son by the arms.

"Of course you did, my emotional child." She looked at Kate, "His father did a number on him, the poor thing," she said sweetly with a laugh, as Jack gave a "Mooom" as if in embarassment. Kate smiled at the scene, feeling a little jealous as her own family situation was a disaster. And she had been putting off reaching Sam Austen, her estranged step-father who she had always thought was her real father and was as much a father as she had ever had. She wanted him to give her away at her wedding, especially now that her record was clean and she was no longer on the run, living a happy life with a wonderful man, son, and a child on the way. Explaining Aaron would be a little bit of a stretch but maybe she'd just lie to him about it as she had everyone else, except the rest of the Oceanic Six, and Cassidy, who knew the truth. And she couldn't wait to have them all at her wedding, to see them all again. Jack had mentioned that Hurley might be able to get out for the day for the wedding from the hospital, and she felt that that would be nice for him, if he could stand it and had been taking his medication.

Her hand found its way across her belly once more and her heart fluttered at what she knew was underneath. Staring out the window, she envisioned the individual, feeling as though she knew it would be a girl. She didn't care what it was, as long as it was healthy with ten fingers and ten toes, what every parent wanted. Her hands were warmed by a pair of bigger ones that slid around her waist to cover her small ones.

"Hey," he whispered against her ear, as he had done so many times before. "You okay, baby?"

"Yeah, I'm great," she leaned into him with a sigh. "Everything is so wonderful right now." He kissed her cheek as she leaned back into his chest.

"And it will be from now on, because we're together. That's what matters." He turned her to face him and placed a kiss on her nose. "Would you start growing all ready, you're killing me with this flat stomach." He looked at her belly, and she laughed.

"There's a little bit of fat there, I promise." he gave her a 'yeah right' look, touching it.

"Uh huh," he said, in an unbelieving tone. They turned when Aaron, who was still at the table, cried out.

"Mommy, look! It's Spongebob!" They laughed at her son as she moved him him, wrapping her arms around his little body. She felt blessed, and so happy she thought her heart might burst. This was how everything should be.

***All right, I know it's kinda short compared to what I've been writing but the day has all ready gotten away from me so let's call this a "To be continued..." chapter, and I will add to it later this evening. Please let me know what you think so far. We're into November now, so Thanksgiving is coming sooooon, and then I may skip to closer to Christmas, not in a rush but because it's fun to write about, and there will be some drama coming up soon, too, I promise! (unless you guys don't want drama, and just want fluff hahaha) I'm not telling what KIND of drama (maybe Jack drama, or baby drama, or Aaron drama, or ISLAND drama...hahaha...just kidding on the last one...I think... ;-) ) Anyway, stay tuned and thank you for all the well wishes about my headache, it's better :-) You all are so wonderful! Next installment up tonight!***


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

**Thanks for all the great reviews of chap 11, I apologize that it was short. This one is longer :-) Enjoy! Keep the reviews coming!**

Kate settled herself onto the exam table and smiled at Jack, her smile radiating. She was so glad he was there with her this time, thinking as he held her hand, how excited he looked. The gown covered her bottom half, as the doctor prepared the ultrasound, so that Jack could see his baby for the first time. She thought about how handsome he looked, all professional in his suit and tie, having come from work to her appointment. She loved that he wore suits to work almost everyday, she loved how handsome he looked in them. She looked back at the screen, excited to see how much her baby had grown in the past weeks since her last sonogram.

"So, Dr. Shephard, since you weren't here last time, I'm gonna set this thing up again and we can take a peek at your baby swimming around." She placed the gel on the ultrasound handle and placed it onto Kate's belly where the uterus is. "Now, your baby is about 4 inches now, and I can see that you're growing right on schedule," she smiled at Kate who was equally excited about her bump. "It's learning to suck and swallow so be prepared for it to hiccup once and a while. Have you felt baby moving at all?"

"I think so, I felt a flutter a few days ago, but wasn't sure if that was the baby or if I was hungry," she laughed, squeezing Jack's hand as they watched the screen.

"Well, as baby grows it will become more obvious whether it's moving around or if you're hungry." She paused for a moment, scanning the screen. "Oh, there it is. See it's little head, and arms and legs?" she pointed out each limb as Jack and Kate stared at the screen. Kate watched Jack for a moment, noticing how entranced he was by the tiny being on the screen. It was moving slightly, sliding around inside her and she felt a tear at how unbelievable it still felt. There was nothing but love on his face. She squeezed his hand with a smile.

"So what do you think?" She asked. He looked down at her lying there and thought she was so beautiful.

"I think that this is amazing, and I can't believe it's actually happening." He brought her hand up to his lips, kissing it softly. "It's so cute," he said, causing a laugh from her.

"You still have a few weeks to go before you can find out the sex of the baby. Are you at all interested in that?" They looked at each other, having not really discussed it.

"We haven't talked about it actually," Kate started. Jack shrugged.

"It's up to you, baby." He responded. She looked between him and the screen.

"I think I want it to be a surprise." She decided. "If that's okay with you, Jack." he smiled, nodding.

"I think that sounds great."

"Okay, then we won't worry about when to do that. As far as everything else goes, you look great, baby looks great, and you should expect some major growing to start here soon, too. Not only in your belly but your breasts as well. Be prepared for pain and sensitivity with them." She noted some stuff on her charts before printing them a picture and shutting down the machine. "Are you having any trouble sleeping with your new belly?"

"Umm, a little," Kate answered honestly. "I just can't seem to get comfortable." She hadn't slept well in about a week, keeping Jack up with her as she tossed and turned, gently of course, trying to find a comfortable position. She had slept on the couch twice because for some reason the support on one side of her belly felt better. Her back however didn't agree with her on that. And Jack didn't like her all the way downstairs, in case something happened.

"Try a pillow on either side of the belly, and maybe one between your legs if you sleep on your side, or under your legs if you sleep on your back. If those don't help, consider trying to sleep propped up. Just move around and try new things, something will work for you." She suggested as Kate nodded. "Any other questions?" They both shrugged, smiling. "Okay then, I'll see you in about 4 weeks. By then you will be half way there." She winked at them as she shut the door. Jack moved to help Kate wipe off her expanding belly of the gel and helped her down from the table.

"I can't believe this belly I have." She laughed, touching the top and bottom of it. She had expanded about 5 inches out, past where her belly had once been flat, and felt like she was holding a small beach ball.

"I love it, I think its adorable." he kissed her forehead as she slipped her cotton skirt back up around her hips. "What do you think of Jacqueline for a girl?" He inquired, opening the exam room door as they headed to the lobby to check out. She laughed.

"And I suppose we'll call her Jackie?"

"Of course," he responded.

"Maybe, Jacqueline Shephard does have a ring to it." She looked thoughtful, not sure how she felt about the name, truthfully. She was struggling with all the names they had talked about, nothing seeming to jump out at her. She just assumed she wasn't ready for that stage yet, still getting used to having a being inside her. He laughed at her indecisivness.

"Just not sure, are ya?" He asked, paying for the visit and setting up the next appointment. Right before Christmas was the next one, which felt very exciting. She couldn't wait for Christmas.

"Nope," she laughed along with him as he held her hand to her car. Embracing her, he kissed the top of her head.

"Please be safe driving home, okay? I'll be home after my meeting tonight, probably about 8. That all right?"

"Of course. I'll have Aaron in bed and we can watch a movie," she spoke, excited to spend some quiet time with him. "I need to find some cheese popcorn, mmmm" her eyes glowed at the thought of food and he let out a chuckle, shaking his head.

"Don't go too overboard on bad food, honey. We want a healthy baby." He scolded playfully. She sighed, whining.

"I know but everything just tastes so good right now!" she exclaimed. He laughed at her, kissed her, and then opened her car door.

"Try to make rational decisions, sweetie. I gotta get back to work, I'll see you tonight. I love you," he loved saying that to her. She smiled tenderly at him.

"I love you too, Jack. Be safe." They kissed once more, and he then really didn't want to go back to work.

"I will. Bye!" He shut her door, waving as she backed her sedan out, and headed out of the parking lot. He hopped in his Ford as his pager went off. Sighing, he knew it was the hospital, beckoning him back to work. Still, a smile was implanted on his face as he thought about what he had just seen on that sonogram screen, the little baby growing in his fiancee's stomach, a mixture of him and her. He couldn't wait until they were officially married, officially a family. Even though he knew they were a family no matter what, it meant a lot to him this time, getting married. He was determined not to fail at this, and he would keep her happy. This time it would be right. Sarah and him, that had been a mistake. He had married her for the wrong reasons, almost as if he had felt sorry for her because her then financee had left her, and he had felt a certain pride in the way her had fixed her, not even knowing how he had done it. And they had fallen in love, he did believe that. But it wasn't meant to last, to be come a marriage. And though he had been devastated when she had walked out on him, he knew now why it had happened. He had been meant to meet Kate on that Island, and there was something about the way he had felt when he had spoken to her those first few times, feeling an urge to protect her, though she clearly didn't need protecting. She was a different animal, Kate. Now, however, she had settled into a different role, a motherly one. With Aaron, she was so natural, even though he could tell that sometimes she struggled, unsure of her next move. She always made the right decisions though. And with this new one, he knew she would be no different. She was steady. It was him he was worried about.

Kate paced in the kitchen, her hand resting on her baby bump, as she stared at the phone. _"Just call him," _ she thought to herself. She had gotten the phone number from the Army directory and knew there was no better time than now to call, with Jack at his meeting and Aaron in bed. She had so many memories of him and wanted to badly to talk to him, for him to accept her. She dialed the number, feeling anxious. The phone began to ring and she held her breath as rings came and went. Suddenly they were interupted by a male voice.

"Hello?" it answered the rings. Kate was unsure of what to say and said the one thing that she could think of.

"Daddy?" there was silence on the other end of the phone and Kate prayed she had the right number.

"Katie?" the voice answered, "Is that you?" A tear ran down Kate's face as he recognized her voice.

"Yes, Daddy, it's me."

"How are you, honey?" They hadn't spoken in years and it felt so good to hear his voice. "I thought you were on that plane, the one that crashed-"

"I was, but we landed on an island somewhere in the Pacific. We managed to get off and were rescued." She didn't feel like going all the way into detail over the phone, it was very much an in-person conversation.

"Oh Katie, I'm so glad you're okay." She was surprised he had never heard about their rescue.

"How've you been, Daddy?" She asked, quietly, wondering.

"I just got back from deployment in Iraq. Been home about 2 weeks." That explained how he didn't know. And why she hadn't heard from him. "Where are you, honey?"

"In Los Angeles, Dad. I have a house," She wanted to tell him about Aaron, her wedding, and the baby, but decided it was one thing at a time. "Are you still back home?"

"I'm actually based in New Mexico right now."

"Do you want to come for Thanksgiving?" She blurted out before she had even thought of the logistics of that, or having asked Jack. She heard the front door open, but kept her place against the kitchen counter. Jack made his way into the kitchen, following her voice. He saw her against the counter, in her white, cotton robe, her hair still wet from her shower, her phone pressed against her ear. His first thought was how beautiful she looked, but the thought that followed was a wonder of why she was crying. "Great!" She spoke into the phone. "It's settled then." She rattled off their address, waiting a moment, and then replying, "I'm so glad you're coming...I love you too. Goodbye." As she hung up the phone, her body shook with a sob, as Jack moved closer to her, his face etched in worry.

"Kate," he spoke softly,"what's the matter? Are you okay?" He put his hands on her arms, searching her face for answers. She looked up at him, and he was surprised that her eyes expressed joy, not pain.

"That was my dad." She spoke through her soft sobs. Confusion covered his face.

"Your dad? But I thought-"

"My mom was dating a man when she had me, the man I believed to be my father. He's not my biological father, but I grew up with him. He wass the one who taught me how to hunt, and track. He's in the Army." She sniffled, Jack handing her a tissue.

"Why are you crying?" He smiled softly, not understanding her emotions.

"He's coming to Thanksgiving. I invited him." She said it with such strength, he was surprised by her behavior.

"That's great, Kate, I'd love to meet him. But again, why are you crying? Are you okay?" he probed, wanting to make sure she truly was fine. She nodded through her tears.

"I love him so much, Jack. I just...when I heard his voice..." she broke down, leaning into his chest and he realized what the tears were all about. She needed him, like Jack needed his mother. She didn't have the lifeline he had, and speaking to her father had opened up a whole bottle of emotions for her. He held her against his suit, rubbing her back, as her arms rest around his waist. He laid his head on the top of hers, allowing her to release years of pent up sadness and frusteration into his chest. She cried for a few minutes before pulling back, wiping at her tears furiously with her robe sleeves. "I'm sorry, Jack." She laughed a little, as she moved away, pouring herself a glass of water.

"You don't need to be sorry, Kate. You can cry anytime, it's okay." he cracked a grin at her, sitting on the counter. "Are you sure you're okay? Do you want to talk more about it?"

"No, I'm okay. Are you okay with him coming to Thanksgiving dinner?" she asked, hoping the answer was yes.

"Of course, Kate. He's your father. And my soon to be father-in-law. I'd love to meet him."

"Okay, good." She took a long sip of her water, before continuing. "I'm going to ask him to give me away." She hadn't had that at her last wedding, he hadn't been able to be there. Not to mention it hadn't even really been her getting married.

"I think that's wonderful. I'm so happy you were able to get in touch with me. Think of all the great things you have to tell him." He jumped off the counter, moving toward her, rubbing her belly. "How is the baby tonight, anyway?" she shrugged, giggling a little.

"I think it's fine, hasn't been up to much," she laughed as he tickled her sides lightly. Just as he did, she felt a flutter in her stomach, almost like a tickle of its own. "Ooh" she moaned a little, touching her bump. Jack became concerned, his smile fading.

"What, did I hurt you?" He asked immediately. She shook her head, feeling it again.

"No, not at all. I can feel it. It's moving," She looked at him with her big green eyes, a big smile spreading across her face. He put his hands on her stomach, aching for a feeling of something moving. "I don't know if you can feel it, I think it's just somersaulting around in there. It kind of tickles." He moved his hands to her face, cupping it, kissing her deeply, leaving her breathless. When he leaned back, she searched his face.

"What was that for?" she questioned.

"I love you." he stated simply. She kissed him again, leaning back against the counter, him leaning softly against her. They kissed for a long moment before his stomach growled, breaking the moment. They both began to laugh, as she moved to the refrigerator.

"Are you hungry or something?" she joked, pulling out a tupperware of a bean and corn dish she had eaten for dinner. He removed his jacket and tie, sitting down at the kitchen table. She pulled out a peice of chicken in another tupperware, made specially for him, and reheated the dishes, plating them and placing it in front of him at that table. She poured him a glass of water and made herself a cup of tea, joining him at the table. "How was your meeting?"

"Good," he chewed his food slowly, "This is delicious, Kate. Thank you." They sat in silence, each in their own thoughts when he looked up and noticed that she was asleep, her head in her hand. He laughed to himself, knowing she hadn't gotten much sleep the last few days due to the baby. Standing up, he moved around the table, scooping her into his arms, and beginning for the stairs.

"Jack," she whispered against his neck, the feeling of her breath giving him goosebumps.

"Shh, I'm taking you to bed." He carried her up the stairs and into their room, laying her down. He placed pillows on either side of her belly, just as the doctor had suggested, and one under legs. He moved her hair out of her face, kissing her forehead.

"I love you, Jack," she whispered, falling into a deep sleep. He smiled as he watched her breathing slow, hoping she would stay comfortable. Making his way back down the stairs, he ran a tired hand over his face. He had felt stressed the last few days, the feeling of becoming a real father, let alone the father to two kids, was sinking in, and making him feel a little paniced. They had spoken of it at his meeting, and he tried to express his fears, but they never seemed to come out right. He wanted so badly to do the right thing, to be a good father. He walked into the dark living, sitting down on the couch. He placed his head in his hands, rubbing his hands over his face and hands.

"Hey kiddo," a voice startled him, causing him to look up, surprised. His father stood in front of him, in his suit and white tennis shoes, and Jack sat back, in shock.

"Dad, what are you...how..." he couldn't seem to get the words out. He rubbed his eyes again, thinking he had to be seeing things.

"Having a rough time adjusting to fatherhood?" the man sat down in a chair, and Jack couldn't figure out if he was dreaming or if his father's ghost was really talking to him.

"Umm...I guess." Jack answered half-assed, still in shock.

"I was hard on you Jack, and I'm sorry. Remember to be patient with you children. Treat them better than I treated you, Jack."

"Dad, I don't-"

"You will, you will understand. Take care of her, Jack. And take care of that baby. You can do it, I know you can." the man stood, Jack following suit.

"Wait, tell me, what are you doing here?" Jack demanded, trying to keep his voice down.

"Jack, I'm trying to give you advice, advice I would give you if I were alive. Be good to her. Please. She deserves that." Christian turned, walking away from Jack. Jack felt overwhelmed as he moved foreward.

"Dad, wait, please..." He reached his hand out, as if to stop his father from walking away from him again.

"Jack, I have to go. Just do as I said. I know you can." He gave the younger man a smile, before dissapearing around the corner of the house and out of Jack's life one more time. Jack collapsed back on to the couch, trying to determine whether he had made that up or if it had been real. He leaned his head back and closed his eyes, suddenly having a headache. He wanted so badly to do those things, to take care of her, and Aaron, and his baby, but he felt so unable. He was so afraid he would screw up, just like he had before. He felt a lot of pressure to do everything right, what if he made a mistake? He took a deep breath, standing, heading up the stairs. He needed her warmth, she always knew how to calm him. Lying down beside her, a placed a hand on her belly, as if to reassure himself that everything was fine, and felt a tear as, in her sleep, she smiled as she felt his hand on her stomach. He had to do the right things, always. He couldn't lose her, not this time.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

**Thank you for all the responces to my note. I just wanted to make sure I didn't turn anyone off anyone by bringing a lil sci-fi-ness to the story hahaha. I appreciate everyone's opinion though, thank you for that. I hope everyone enjoys this chapter. Some of the music I used to write this chapter in case anyone wants some background music:

"Amie" Damien Rice (first scene)

"Thanksgiving" George Winston (instrumental, second scene)

"Autumn" Vivaldi (instrumental, second scene as well)

"Same Old Lang Syne" Dan Fogelburg (last scene-I know it's a christmas song, but I thought it appropriate)

ENJOY!***

PS-After reviewing this chapter, I found some idiot typos, so I've fixed them. Thank you to all the reviews to far! I love it! Thank you!

* * *

_"You're not supposed to raise him."_

Jack woke up in a panic, sweat formed on his brow, his breathing labored. He rubbed his eyes, looking around, trying to adjust to where he was. Kate stirred next to him, sitting up slightly, putting an arm on his bicep.

"Jack," she began in a voice full of sleep, "Are you all right?" He sniffled a few times, sliding his legs over the bed, placing his feet on the floor. He moved quickly across the room to the door, into the hallway. She sat up fully, pulled her robe on and followed him. "Jack..."

"Yeah, I'm okay, Kate. Just a bad dream." She followed him down the hall and into Aaron's room. He touched the boys cheek, his breathing labored. She waited by the door, unsure of what he was doing. "I just had to check on him," he whispered.

"Ok. Do you want to talk about it?" She asked quietly, concerned. He wasn't the best sleeper, tossing and turning sometimes, but she'd never seen him have a bad dream, or be unable to sleep, not to mention checking on Aaron in the middle of the night, when the baby was clearly fine. He stood still for a moment before turning to her. The look in his eyes frightened her a little, so much fear and pain. She moved foreward, taking his hand and leading him into the hallway, shutting Aaron's door to not wake him. They moved to the stairs, sitting on the top one,

"Would you believe me, " he paused, seeming to search for words, "if I told you I saw my father last week?" he asked her like she was his lifeline, and she searched his face, not understanding.

"Where, Jack?" She touched his shoulder in comfort, not sure where he was going with this.

"In the living room." she was taken a-back by his words, furrowing her brow.

"What?" she questioned, trying to believe him but not understanding.

"He was in the living room. Only for a minute or two, and he, he told me to take care of you and the baby. And he told me to be easier on them than he was on me," a tear rolled down his cheek and she felt terrible at how lost he looked. "You have to believe me, Kate. I need you to. I'm not crazy." Another tear rolled down his cheek and she felt her heart break for him.

"Jack, you're not crazy. I believe you. I just don't know how that could happen. I thought he was on the Island..." she drifted off, knowing Jack had seen him there too.

"A few nights after we got engaged, I saw him at the office. But Erika walked in and he dissapeared, he didn't get a chance to say anything." He placed his head in hands and sighed deeply.

"Why do you think he's visiting you now?" She asked tentatively, not wanting to upset him any more than he already was.

"I don't know. Maybe he just had to tell me what he told me. But it's haunting me, Kate. And some of the things Hurley said..." he drifted off, wishing he hadn't said that, knowing what Hurley had said would upset her.

"You saw Hurley weeks and weeks ago, what did he say that upset you?"

"It'll upset you, Kate. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have-"

"Tell me, Jack. You will feel better if you get it out." She knew that was true.

"He told me he saw Charlie, and that he had a message for me," her face was pale as he recounted the story from Hurley, "Charlie told Hurley to tell me I'm not supposed to raise him." Another tear rolled down his cheek and she felt angry.

"Raise who?" she questioned.

"Aaron. He said I'm not supposed to raise him. What does that mean?" he pleaded, needing an answer from her. She thought for a moment, feeling angry at Hurley but also knowing that his mental condition didn't allow him to know that that would have hurt Jack. Some things are just better left unsaid.

"It means nothing, Jack. You're wonderful with him, and that's what matters. Claire left him, if she had wanted to care for him, she would have." He didn't appear to believe him so she put both hands on his face, making him look at her. "Jack, you're a natural with him, like I've said before. You're good at this. You're raising him just fine. Please forget what Hurley said. Whether he saw Charlie for sure or not, Charlie is dead and Hurley is not well, Jack. We're getting married, you're going to raise him. And as for your dad, I think he gave you some great advice, so take it for what it's worth. Okay?" She said it with such strength and comfort that he did feel better, knowing it wasn't as easily done as it was said, but he knew that he would be fine. She searched his eyes before he leaned in, placing a soft, sweet kiss on her lips.

"Okay," he agreed, knowing he would try. Maybe that was the underlying message in his father's visit. Jack didn't know what to believe sometimes, anymore, after what they had been through on that Island. She stood, pulling him up gently.

"Do you want to go back to bed?" She asked with a soft smile. He pushed her hair behind her ear and smiled faintly.

"Sure," she took his hand, leading him back to their room, and they laid down, once again. He held her tightly, feeling as though she were sometimes his only strand of sanity and closed his eyes, begging the haunting dreams to not come back. He counted her slow breathes as a calming mechanism and by five was asleep peacefully beside her.

Kate smoothed her dress as she looked around the room, surveying the room she had managed to put together for Thanksgiving. She had decorated it, and set the table for their wonderful holiday. She loved the feeling fall brought, even though the seasons didn't change in L.A. as much as in her home in Iowa. She caught a glimpse of herself in the hallway mirror as she moved through the house and felt an enormous amount of pride in the way her body was accepting motherhood. She placed a hand on her belly, and one under it, revieling the plump shape she had grown. The heat rose in her cheeks and she felt blessed. She couldn't wait for her father to see her this way, to meet Jack and Aaron. She knew she couldn't tell her father the truth of Aaron, for it would complicate everything so she decided to lie, just like she had to everyone but Cassidy, Jack, and the rest of the Oceanic Six. She would tell him the truth someday, just like she felt she would tell Aaron the truth someday, but this was not the right time, for either.

She heard her boys laughing as they came down the stairs. She was delighted by the outfit Jack had chosen for Aaron, a dark red sweater vest over a white button down with his little khakis. She also admired Jack's slacks with his button down, as he looked very professional, as if he was going to work, minus the tie. She gave her a kiss, as she watched Aaron run off into the living room.

"He looks adorable, Jack. Thank you." She smiled up at her love, feeling an overwhelming sense of calm. He had seemed better the last few days, since his nightmare, as if he had been trying to let the hauntings go, to move on from the Island. He was never one to let things go, and she felt as though he were trying for her, and she appreciated that, more than he knew. Not only because it was good for her, but because it was good for him, and for them together.

"He is cute. You look beautiful, by the way." He reviewed her outfit, her hair in its tight curls, the coral colored dress showing off their color, and complimenting her eyes. She laughed despite herself.

"I'm feeling a little like a balloon in this, today." She spoke, touching her belly. Thought she loved the shape, some things just didn't fit her like they used to, clearly.

"Stop it. You look great. And it smells wonderful down here!" he exclaimed, moving into the kitchen, surveying her display. "Wow, Kate. You pulled out all the stops on this one." She had indeed, she thought. Green bean casserole, sweet potato casserole, cranberry sauce, rolls, corn, mashed potatoes, and of course, the turkey, which she had followed a recipe on, having never cooked turkey before. But she thought everything had come out very nicely.

"Thanks, Jack. I tried. I hope everything is good.'" She smiled sweetly at him. "_Two months and we're married"_ she thought to herself, staring at her ring for a moment. "_I can't wait to be Mrs. Jack Shephard._" The feeling made her weak. A dream come true for her, really.

He kissed her forehead. "Everything will be wonderful. My mom should he here any minute, and your dad," he stopped as the door bell rang, her heart quickening. "That must be one of them now," he moved toward the door as Aaron ran after him. He laughed as Aaron darted in front, grabbing the door handle. It was one of his favorite things, to greet people at the door. Jack helped him open the door, revieling an older man with grey hair.

"Hi, I'm looking for Kate Austen-" the man appeared confused until Kate made her way to the door, his face lighting up upon seeing her. "Katie!"

"Dad! Hi!" She through herself into his arms, as he hugged her. Aaron looked confused as Jack watched the scene with a smile. "I'm so glad you're here!"

"Me too, honey! I'm sorry I couldn't come yesterday, I have so much work going on right now." He leaned back, holding her by the hands, surveying her. "Katie, you're so grown up, and pregnant?" he spoke the last word in surprise. She beamed.

"Yep, 18 weeks along." She smiled happily before letting his hands go to introduce Aaron and Jack. "Dad, this is my son, Aaron. Aaron, this is Grandpa Sam." She knelt next to the boy as he gazed up at Sam. She whispered in the little boy's ear and then the boy stuck his hand out.

"Hi, " he spoke shyly. Sam gave the tiny hand a gentle shake, still stuck in surprise.

"Hi Aaron, it's very nice to meet you." The older man grinned at the child before Kate stood, turning his attention to Jack.

"And this is Jack, my fiance'" Jack smiled warmly, extending his hand. Sam shook it strongly, as if asserting himself as the strong man he was.

"It's a pleasure, Sam." Jack spoke.

"Pleasure's mine." Sam smiled back at the younger man, as Kate shut the door behind them. "Kate, you have a beautiful home." He spoke, looking around the large house. She smiled proudly, as Jack took his things to the other room, inviting Aaron along so Sam and Kate could catch up for a moment before Margo arrived. He again looked at her, feeling a little misty. "Kate, I can't believe what you've done for yourself. A house, kids, and you're getting married." He smiled lovingly. "How old is Aaron?"

"He just turned 3, he'll be four next November. Jack's not his father, I got pregnant in Australia." She hated lying but knew none of it would make sense. "I met Jack after we crashed, he was on the plane. He was a key role in my survival." She knew he had never physically saved her from the crash, but if it hadn't been for him, and the way he pulled everyone together, they may never have gotten off the Island. She showed her father the ring, "We're getting married January 19th." He smile approvingly. "He's a good man, Dad. He's a spinal surgeon at St. Sebastian's. And he's great with Aaron."

"As long as he is good to you and your son, I'm sure he is a great man."

"You'll come to the wedding right?"

"I wouldn't miss it for the world, baby." He rubbed her shoulder and she felt her heart grow with warmth. She didn't want to ask him right this second to give her away, but she knew she would before he left. The door bell rang, startling her thoughts. She could hear Aaron's footsteps as she moved toward the door.

"Please make yourself comfortable, Dad." She smiled at him as Aaron pulled open the door.

"Grandma Margo!" the child cried, hugging her legs. She smiled, rubbing his head.

'Hi sweetie! How are you?" Margo laughed as Kate picked the young child up, being careful not to bump her belly. Jack moved around the corner, eyeing Kate holding Aaron.

"Kate what have I told you about-" he paused, as he removed the child from Kate's hip. "Hi Mom," he continued. Margo laughed, rolling her eyes at Jack, touching Kate's hand as Kate glared playfully at Jack.

"Kate, just ignore him, it'll get worse the more pregnant you get." The women laughed as Kate helped her carry in the pies Margo had brought.

"I know, he's a pain already, I can imagine what it'll be like at 9 months. He'll put me on bed rest claiming doctor's orders." They moved to the kitchen where Kate's father was sitting. He stood respectfully, extending his had to Jack's mother. Kate introduced them. "Dad, this is Margo Shephard, Jack's wonderful mother. Margo, this is my father, Sam Austen." The two shook hands.

"Your daughter is just a love. I adore her and her son." She gave Kate a tender look, causing Kate to blush.

"Thank you, Margo. She has always been a sweet girl." He smiled at the woman before Kate clapped her hands together.

"Would anyone care for a drink?" She spoke to the room, and laughed when Aaron raised his hand. The adults laughed at the young child and his innocence.

They all ate until they were full as the sun set in the November sky, everyone enjoying themselves. Kate was thrilled with how the food had come out, and Jack prided himself in her ability to cook, knowing he was not so great at it. She had done a wonderful job, he had said to their guests, especially for someone who didn't eat meat. They had all laughed, knowing she didn't mind defending her position and didn't judge them for their's. Their first Thanksgiving had honestly been a success, he thought, proving how well they did together. Even Aaron had enjoyed the turkey and sweet potato casserole, shocking them all. "He definitely eats like Jack," Kate had said, everyone nodding in agreement.

Jack had volunteered to put Aaron to bed after his mother had left, knowing that it was past the little one's bed time. Kate and her father chose to sit outside on the back porch, enjoying the fresh air. Jack also wanted to give them a little time alone to catch up. They chatted for a few minutes.

"You did great tonight, Katie. I thoroughly enjoyed everything." She blushed, sipping her tea.

"Thank you, Daddy. I'm glad you came." She smiled and felt all of angst against him for not having told her he wasn't her real father drifting away for good.

"Me too. You've got a great set-up here. I can see how happy you are." Sam loved his daughter very much and only wanted the best for her, as all father's did.

"I am happy, very much. Jack is so wonderful to me and Aaron. I love him very much." She paused, before throwing it out there. "Daddy," she spoke intensely, "Will you give me away at my wedding?" She asked sincerely. Sam broke into a tender smile.

"Katie, I would want nothing more. I would be honored too." They embraced, and Kate felt a tear slide down her cheek. She was so happy to have him back in her life.

"When are you due?" He asked, pulling back, placing a hand on her stomach.

"May17th." She told him, praying it came quickly.

"Are you and Jack taking a honeymoon after the wedding?"

"Like this?" she laughed patting her belly as they sat back down. "Oh no. We're going to wait until the baby is six months or so, and then go somewhere for a week. If I can bear to leave the baby, that is." They laughed as she yawned. "I haven't gotten used to being this tired yet, " she apologized. He shook his head, sending it away.

"I'm sure you'll get more tired as you get bigger." He check his watch. "I should probably get going anyway, I have to catch a flight first thing in the morning. But I will be back the week of your wedding." He kissed her cheek as they embraced again. She felt like a child again.

"And for Christmas, if you can get away." He smiled against her hair.

"Of course." They walked to the door as Jack came down the stairs. "Jack," Same extended his hand. "It was great to meet you. Take care of my little girl." Jack gave Kate a loving smile, nodding.

"Yes, sir. I will."

"Katie, I love you." He kissed her forehead. "I'll see you soon. Keep in touch." He began out the door.

"I will, Dad. I love you. Have a safe trip!" he waved as he pulled out of the drive, and she shut the door, an un-erasable smile on her face. Jack placed an arm around her shoulders as they walked toward the kitchen slowly.

"What a great day." He shared, kissing the side of her head. She grinned, sqeezing his waist.

"Thank you for all your help."

"My help? You did everything. I just entertained." He laughed, sitting down on the sofa, propping his leg up on his other knee. She sat down next to him, snuggling close.

"I am so tired." she yawned for emphasis. "This lil' one is taking it out of me." she giggled as the small child inside her moved around.

"Get used to it." He nudged, causing a laugh from her. Just as he turned the tv his pager went off, them both hearing it from its place in the kitchen. He sighed, rolling his eyes as he stood to get it.

"Work need you?" she questioned as he reached it. He was quiet, checking the message.

"Yep." He sighed again. "It's the ER. I have to go." He walked back to her as she stood. "I'll call you when I know what time I think I'll be done. You're okay here with Aaron?" He asked, touching her belly. She looked at him tenderly, resting her hand on his, nodding.

"Yes. Go to work. Please be safe." They shared a sweet kiss before he slipped on his doctor's coat. He kissed her again.

"I'll be home as soon as I can. Love you."

"I love you too, Jack." He grabbed his keys and walked out the door, jumping in his truck. As much as he didn't want to leave he knew he was needed.

Arriving at the hospital, he made his way into the ER, checking in with the nurse's station to find out what he was needed for. They directed him toward a room full of people, machine's beeping. Catching the doctor on duty, he stopped her, asking what was going on.

"Car Accident. 38 year old male. He and his wife were rear-ended. His back is pretty strained and he has no feeling in his lower body. His wife is in room 6. She asked for you by name, saying you took care of her a few years back. " Jack looked confused, trying to think of who that might be. "Go talk to her and when he is stable I'll call you back in to do your assessment."

Jack walked down the hall to room 6, grabbing the chart from the door. Checking the name, his breath caught in his throat. Reading the notes, he knocked quickly, entering the room. He hadn't expected to see the face in front of him ever again, nevermind this way. She raised her blue eyes at him and he mentally cursed.

"Jack, thank you for coming." her eyes were red from tears, her face bruised, her arm in a sling. He kept his distance, feeling unsure.

"Sarah." he said it as a statement more than anything else. "How are you?" he asked sincerely, though cautiously. He could see she was in pain and he felt bad.

"Good, how are you?" She smiled through her bruised jaw.

"I'm good. What happened?" he asked professionally as he reviewed her chart. He could see her eyes mist.

"Some guy hit our car from behind. We were on the interstate and John lost control after and we spun into a bunch of trees. The car flipped and was totaled." a small sob escaped her lips. "You have to help him Jack, I know you can." He watched her cry and knew that professionally he did have to help her husband. Whether he wanted to or not was a different discussion all together.

"I'll do the best I can, Sarah. They're stabalizing him and then I'll set out to figure out what the damage is." He touched her hand for a moment out of comfort. "Don't worry, I'm sure he will be fine." His feelings were a disaster as she looked at him with her blue eyes, tears in them. It reminded him of the day she had left him, and his anger was boiling somewhere under the surface. But at the same point in time he flashed to their wedding and felt a sense of rememberance, of love. "_Quit it, Shephard, you've got a job to do"_ he talked himself down, leaving the room, replacing the chart. He strode toward her husband's room, knowing he had to focus professionally on this patient. He also knew he would finally know the identity of his ex-wife's affair. And though that didn't mean much to him anymore, he still struggled with seeing her here, in the ER, this time with someone else. It brought back way too many memories.

***Oh boy, guys. Please review and let me know what you think! Hope you enjoy it! Next chapter will be up this weekend!***


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

***Thank you for all your reviews! This one is a little shorter than past ones but I promise they will be longer next time. I got a lot of "Oh No! Not Sarah!" and I LOVE that response because that's what I wanted! hahaha I like to shock my readers. :-P Let's see what happens, shall we...we're getting closer to very exciting things...like Christmas, and the WEDDING, and the most anticipated now...at least I am excited about...the BIRTH! Oh boy! I can't wait and I hope you guys can't either! Enjoy this chapter!***

Jack paced his office nervously, waiting for results of a few tests he had run on Sarah's husband. It was now 3am and he had yet to call Kate, unsure of what to say. He didn't want to lie to her about having seen Sarah or about preparing to do surgery on Sarah's husband but he also didn't want her to worry. Though, truth be told, she was probably worrying about the fact she hadn't heard from him. He glanced at the clock a few more times before deciding to call her.

Dialing the home number, it only rang twice before she answered, her voice full of sleep.

"Hello?" it spoke softly. He smiled at the thought of her sleepy eyes and tousled hair.

"Hey Kate, it's me." He sat down at his desk, rubbing his eyes.

"Hey, Jack. How's everything going?" she spoke with such innocent sincerity that he couldn't help but melt.

"Yeah, honey, everything is fine. I am preparing to do surgery on a car accident victim. I probably won't be home until 9 or 10 tomorrow." He spoke, thinking of the logistics of what the surgery entailed and knowing that it would take a while to put the man's broken spine back together.

"Okay, that's fine." He loved how she never worried, she just accepted. "I'll see you then. Thank you for calling."

"I'm sorry I didn't call sooner, I've just been running tests and prepping for surgery. I hope you were sleeping okay."

"Are you kidding? This giant bed to myself?" she said, laughing. "Don't worry, I do miss you but I'm loving being able to sprawl." He laughed at her adorable sense of humor.

"Well, enjoy it then and get lots of rest. I'll see you in the morning. I love you."

"Love you too, Jack. Goodbye."

"Goodnight, sweetie." he hung up the phone feeling a little better about the situation. She was so aware of how much he loved her that she knew he wouldn't do anything to hurt her or jeopardize their relationship. At least never intentionally. His thoughts were interupted however by a knock on his office door. "Come in" he called as the door opened, his ex-wife making her way into his plush office.

"Wow, nice place you've got here." He stood respectfully as she entered but as soon as she spoke, he sat, not wanting her to feel as though she had any power over him what so ever.

"Thanks. Shouldn't you still be in the ER?" he hoped he didn't sound rude but he didn't really feel like socializing with her currently.

"They released me to come talk to you, since you are operating on my husband. Thank you for helping, I know you can fix him." She said it in such a way it made him shiver, though not in a good way.

"Sarah, I will do everything I can but he may be in pain the rest of his life. He's lucky he's not paralyzed completely." He reviewed his notes one more time before looking up at her, his eyes peircing her blue ones. "Is there anything else I need to know about him?" She shook her head.

"Not that I can think of."

"Congratulations." He spoke with a small amount of angst, surprising even himself as he nodded towards her protruding stomach. She looked like she was a little farther along than Kate and she was lucky she didn't lose the baby in the accident. She placed her hand on her belly with a soft smile.

"Thank you, Jack. It's our first." She looked around his office again, her eyes landing on the back of a picture frame. "How've you been, Jack?" She asked curiously. He sighed.

"I'm good, Sarah, as I said downstairs." He leaned back, rubbing his face again, suddenly feeling tired. He knew he would need another cup of coffee to make it through the night.

"I know, Jack. I just..I heard about the crash and your rescue and everything and I was just curious how you were truly doing. I mean, I can't believe you survived." She paused for a moment, seeming to gather her thoughts. "And I'm sorry about your dad, I heard what happened. Terrible. He was a good man." He felt angry but managed to keep his temper at bay.

"Well, thank you for your concern, but I'm fine, really." He was feeling strong, and continued. "My fiancee' is actually expecting a baby, too. We're due in May." He said it with such pride, Sarah seemed taken a-back by it. She seemed at a loss of words for a moment before she responded.

"Wow. That's great. Congratulations." They sat in silence and Jack thought of ways to get her out of his office, he was starting to feel his airway constricting and he knew what that meant. "Listen, I'm sorry about what happened. Between us, I mean." She paused and he took this as an opportunity, standing, not caring to continue this particular conversation any further.

"Umm Sarah, I really have to get back to my patient. He needs to be prepped for surgery." He opened the door, encouraging her to leave. She walked to the door slowly, before turning to him, looking up into his dark eyes.

"I'm glad you're happy. That means alot to me." He looked away, unable to handle all the emotions that were tumbling through him.

"Thanks. I'll come talk to you when I'm finished." She nodded and spoke a quiet, "Ok," as he shut the door to his office, feeling very anxious. He poured himself another cup of coffee and tried to steady himself. _"Get control of yourself, Shephard. You have a new life, you don't love her." _He took several deep breathes before exiting his office with his notes and coffee, mentally preparing himself for the task at hand.

Kate sat on the floor with Aaron as the sun rose in their backyard. They were watching Spongebob and eating french toast bites, enjoying each other's company. She loved spending time with her son like this, just the two of them and she loved how much he had grown up in the past few years. He was a smart three year old, with a great vocabulary and great motor skills. She felt guilty when she realized sometimes how much he looked like his mother but when she thought about Jack raising him with her, Claire's half brother, she felt as though it made it more appropriate.

Kate heard the front door open and shut, smiling to herself. She was glad he was home, hoping he didn't have to go back to work any time soon, for his sake. As she began to stand Aaron was off and running, greeting Jack half way. The tall man lifted the small child into the air, shaking him softly as father's do, making the child laugh out loud happily. Kate felt her heart warm at the smile that covered Jack's face as he played 'airplane' with the little boy. She watched, leaning against the wall, in one of his button down shirts and a pair of her shorts. Her belly was expanding to the point where some of her sleep shirts no longer were sleep shirts but mid-riff revieling ones. He caught a glimpse of her and smiled sweetly at her messy bun and comfy outfit. Holding the young child against his chest he made his way to her, kissing her as a greeting.

"Hey, babe." He embraced her as well as Aaron, enjoying the feeling of welcome he felt. Aaron snuggled against Jack's chest as he sat down at the kitchen table, Kate sitting down across from him. The tired man in front of her was still in his scrubs and was scruffy from not having shaved since the morning before. She could tell he had showered though because his hair was damp and he smelled of soap.

"How did the surgery go?" she inquired, smiling at the child snuggled deep against Jack's chest as Jack rubbed his back. He shrugged.

"All right. I won't know much until he wakes up. The spine was broken in two different places, giving me quite a mess to clean up. But there was only minor damage to his chord so hopefully he will walk again. How did you sleep?" It was only about 7:30 so he figured they must have just awakened.

"Good, I spent most of the night on your side," she giggled as he shook his head at her, chuckling.

"I know it's the better side but I'm not giving it up." he joked, winking at her. "Hows this little one?" he questioned, nodding his head toward the child taking a quiet time in his arms. His eyes were open, his thumb in his mouth, but he seemed to be asleep, or at least extremely relaxed.

"He's been good, we were just eating breakfast. Would you like anything?"

"Nah, thanks though. I'm going to head upstairs and lay down. I have to be back to the hospital around 2." He yawned as if for evidence of how tired he was and she moved, taking Aaron from him, who was not happy about the sudden change in parents. Between Jack's glare and Aaron's whining, she set him down. He moved back to Jack. She crossed her arms with a laugh.

"Clearly he wants to be with you now." She grinned as Jack picked the boy up, carrying him into the living room.

"What can I say?" the man chuckled, setting Aaron on the couch. Aaron made whining sounds, wishing to be picked back up and Jack looked down at him, speaking softly.

"Kiddo, I have to go upstairs and take a nap. Be good for Mommy, okay? I'll be down in a bit." He kissed the child's head, and when Aaron began to whine again, Jack gave him a loving warning look, and spoke in warning tone, "Aaron...". With that the whining stopped, the child pouting. Jack kissed his head one more time, messing his blonde hair, and walked back into the kitchen. Touching his fiancee's baby bump, he gave her a passionate kiss, whispering, "I love you" against her soft, pink lips. He loved coming home to her. She was so inviting. She grinned up at him, loving the warmth of his large hands on her stomach. She spoke a soft "I love you, too" before he kissed her forehead and made his tired way up the stairs. She knew he needed sleep but she had enjoyed their exchange just then. He was a sweet man to her, she didn't know how any woman could have given him up, and she didn't know what had taken her so long to realize her feelings for him.

Jack made his way down the hospital hallway, feeling slightly refreshed from his nap. He had a woken up a few hours ago, having lunch with Kate and Aaron before heading back to the hospital to check on Sarah's husband. He was still struggling with what had happened, her trying to apologize and her sudden desire to talk to him every chance she got, and he was feeling iritated by her presence. She had tried to talk to him again after the surgery but he had bluntly made it known he had to go home and check on his own pregnant soon-to-be wife and son. She had seemed hurt by his honesty, but the truth was he hadn't wanted to spend any more time with her than he had too.

Knocking before entering the room in the intensive care unit of his section of the hospital, he once again found her holding vigil next her unconsious husband's bed. Jack reviewed the chart, before checking the man's blood pressure, heart rate, and pulse. He acknowledged her with a small 'hello' while going about his business. She had given him a small, uncomfortable smile, as if she seemed to get the point.

Just as he was finished checking on her husband, she spoke, once again making him uncomfortable. "Jack, can I speak to you for a moment...privately?" He cursed silently, wishing he'd made a faster exit. He didn't feel like rehashing their fatal relationship. But he nodded, out of respect, knowing if he just let her get whatever it was off her chest, she'd leave him alone. Or at least he hoped that would be the case. They moved to his office and he shut the door behind them before taking a seat on his desk. She seemed nervous as she paced a little, as if trying to put her thoughts into words. He waited patiently, hoping she would just spit it out.

"Jack, I really need you to know something." She took a deep breath, gathering herself. "I want you to know that I need to say these things for my own peace, and maybe they can give you peace too." He fought the urge not to roll his eyes. He had needed peace years ago, why now? He was fine now. "I really loved you. When we got married, I really felt it was going to be forever. But you became this amazing surgeon and there was really only room in your life for one of us, me or your job. How we were supposed to have a family when you worked 80 hours a week?" She paused, searching his face. "I just need you to know that I did what I did because I knew it wasn't going to work between us, that you didn't love me like I needed you too. But I realize now that that was wrong. I wish I had thought my actions through." She stopped, looking down at her hands, a tear rolling down her cheek. Jack sat on the desk, numb, not knowing what to say or do. Looking up at him with her tear streaked face, in a sick way he felt glad. She was only feeling an ounce of the pain he had felt but he felt good knowing she was at least feeling something somewhere near what he had felt. "If you had just worked less, stopped trying to fix things so much,we could have stayed together." She said it as if she was blaming him for her leaving. He knew that was unfair. He interupted her speech.

"Sarah, I don't know if you remember correctly, but you left me. I told you I wanted to make it work and you had already mentally checked out of our marriage. When you told me you thought you were pregnant, it wasn't even with my baby! And you blame this on me? At least I never cheated on you!" His temper was boiling and he was trying to regain control but was having a difficult time of it.

"You kissed that girl!" She exclaimed back, defensively. He rolled his eyes angrily.

"She kissed me, and I told you about it as soon as it happened. I felt _terrible_, Sarah! If I recall, that was the same night you walked out, so why on Earth do you care anyway?" He paced slightly, rubbing his neck out of stress.

"I care because I wished we had made things work." She quieted her voice, sitting down. "I love John, but I also love you Jack. I'm sorry for what I did. I made the wrong choice. I just wanted you to know." He stood still, staring at her, wishing she would take those words back.

"Sarah, I am getting married in a little over a month, and I am _happy_, so happy. Please, just leave it be. I'm begging you. It took me a long time to get over our divorce and I was under the impression you were happy with your new life. I'm sorry that you're not but please don't drag me back into this." He pleaded with his eyes, feeling an overwhelming sense of emotion. He had put these things to rest. "Not to mention, you're pregnant. You should feel lucky that your baby is fine." He moved as far away from her as possible, across the office, and leaned against the wall. "Sarah, I can't do this. You have to leave." She stood, seemingly planted in her spot by his desk, and he closed his eyes, counting to five.

"Jack, I'm sorry, I just needed-"

"You don't need anything. You feel guilty. Well, I'm fine, as you can see." He looked up at her and his eyes frightened her. "Get out of my office, please. I have work to do." She didn't say another word, walking out of his office, and he hoped, his life. He made his way back to his desk, suddenly exhausted again, sitting down in his plush leather chair. Feeling his phone vibrating, he muted it. He needed to recover before he spoke to anyone, suddenly feeling the overwhelming urge for the one thing he knew he didn't need right then: a drink.

***Oh boy! Review please! they make me happy! ;-) And it helps me to know where I'm going next with this! Thanks!***


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

***Sorry I took a few days on this one, my weekend was busy, as was yesterday and today. So here is Chapter 15. I hope you all enjoy it! Thank you for all the reviews so far, I love reading them and getting everyone's insight. And thank you for all the baby names. I have a few that I took into consideration...we shall have to see which one I choose ;-) I am loving the reaction I got by bringing Sarah in... Let's see what happens, shall we?

NYR88 / P-I like where your minds are about Jack and his habits...I did some thinking about these ideas. Thank you for the advice and idea!

P-I'm glad you weren't talking to me :-P I was worried for a minute. Thank you for clarifying and for letting me know you like the story, it makes me happy :-)

Jimelda-As always, thank you for the review! And thank you for the idea of a Kate and Sarah run-in...hmmm... ;-)

Kate-What a great compliment! Thank you so much! I wish it had played out this way too!

To all-I think Jack would appreciate knowing you all are looking out for him and don't want him drinking :-) What great friends you all are to him...heheh :-P Thanks! And thank you thank you thank you for the reviews!

The song I chose for the second scene is "Why don't we just dance?" by Josh Turner...who doesn't like light-hearted fun? ;-)

Breakfast scene-"Banana Pancakes" Jack Johnson...who doesn't want Jack to make them banana pancakes while shirtless? hehe

ENJOY! (Christmas, Wedding, Birth...all coming soon!)***

(Let's start where we left off, shall we...)

He made his way back to his desk, suddenly exhausted again, sitting down in his plush leather chair. Feeling his phone vibrating, he muted it. He needed to recover before he spoke to anyone, suddenly feeling the overwhelming urge for the one thing he knew he didn't need right then: a drink.

He ran his hand through his short hair, gripping tightly, taking deep breathes. He needed some sort of release of stress, some sort of relief of the angst he felt. How dare she just show up, telling him she had made a mistake? How fair was that to him? Who did she think she was? He felt angry for the things she had said and sad for the way their life together had played out. Why was she telling him this now? So many unanswerable questions ran through his head, tormenting him. He was so unsure of his next move, feeling unsure of himself. He pulled up his schedule on his computer, checking to make sure he had no more patients that day. Packing his brief case and powering down his computer, he moved to the office door, switching off the lights and locking up. Passing his secretary, he informed her he was done for the day. He walked quickly and silently to his truck, climbing and making his way out of the garage. He thought of where to go, what to do. He drove to a place what was very familiar to him. Parking the truck, he took a deep breath before climbing out. He grabbed a bag from his car and made his way inside. "_I need this,"_ he thought.

Kate fed Aaron his dinner of macaroni and cheese, entertained as he told her stories of his action figures and the feats they had accomplished that day. He spoke well for a three year old, always surprising Kate and Jack with his new words. He was smart, in deed. She watched him intensely, knowing he enjoyed the attention. Upon finishing his dinner, he followed Kate around, not done with his stories, as she put the dishes away, and did laundry. She loved keeping up the house, as it was a simple, no drama activity for her, soothing really, with the stress of Jack's work, the baby's constant growing on her mind, and the planning of her wedding seemingly at a standstill. She hadn't heard from Jack since he had left for work after lunch that day, which was rare for him. He was always calling or texting her, checking on her, Aaron, and the baby. He was sometimes overwhelmingly concerned with things out of his control, and was always sweetly paying her extra attention, but she would just laugh at him and tell him to relax. She was always fine.

At some point in her travels around the house, she had turned on the radio, and eventually found she lost her little shadow, unsure of where he had wondered off to. Walking back from the laundry room, she heard a familiar song playing and what she saw when she walked around the corner into the living room made a very large smile break over her face. There was her son, pajamas and all, dancing as young children do, with not much rhythm but enjoying himself immensely. She laughed at the huge smile over his face.

"Mommy! Dance!" He exclaimed to her, twirling himself in circles. Her worry for Jack dissapeared for the moment as she joined her son barefoot on the living room rug, laughing and twirling, mocking his moves and doing other moves from the 60's, twirling him around. She laughed at herself and how she must look with her belly and at one point Aaron put both hands on her stomach, while dancing and told her he was dancing with the baby. It made her heart melt.

They were so distracted by their new found activity they never noticed the tall man leaning against the wall, watching them dance, a loving smile spread over his face. Sneaking up on them during their private time was one of his favorite activities because it truly made him give thanks for all the things he had. The two danced until the song ended, both of them collapsing on the floor in a fit of laughter, her tickling the young child mercilessly. Jack made his presence known then, swooping in a tickling and unknowing Kate, who screamed out of fear, surprise, and laughter, causing Jack to laugh mercilessly as she had been. The three of them rolled gently on the floor, everyone tickling everyone before they all layed still, breathing heavy, ther laughter slowly dying off. Kate rolled onto her side, starring at the now clean shaven man next to her, his eyes beaming up at her.

"How long have you been home?" she questioned, tapping his nose with a grin. Aaron made his way onto Jack, straddling his waist, laying his head against Jack's heart. The older man encompassed the child in a tight embrace, rubbing his back, not moving from his lying position on the ground.

"Long enough to see those pretty fancy dance moves, Austen," he chided her, resulting in a ight shove of his shoulder. He laughed, sticking his tongue out at her. She playfully rolled her eyes, laying back down next to him on the floor.

"You're just jealous you don't have moves like me," she scoffed jokingly, rubbing her belly mindlessly. He watched her hands on her protruding stomach and felt an overwhelming sense of pride. He chuckled at her comment, moving to a sitting position, the child on his chest resting comfortably. Aaron loved to be snuggled against Jack, she figured for the same reason she did. Lately she wasn't as comfortable as a snuggler as she had used to be. At least for the little child.

"How was your day, kiddo?" Jack asked the little boy, who leaned back in Jack's arms to look at him square in the face.

"Good. We went to the park. It was fun! I rode the slide 10 times!" He held his hands up, showing Jack what ten was on his fingers. Jack gave a genuine shocked face, extremely impressed with the child's skills.

"Wow! Ten times?" Jack exclaimed, the little boy nodding furiously. "I am so proud of you! That's great!" He squeezed the boy tightly as Kate looked on, feeling so comfortable in this family life they had created. He was such a good father to the little boy, making her truly appreciate what a wonderful man he had become.

They layed on the floor for a few more minutes before Jack carefully stood, carrying the young child to bed. Kate watched them go, letting the older man spend time with his son, enjoying their connection. In the beginning, Jack had seemed almost afraid of Aaron, unsure of what to do with the young child, but now she felt as though Aaron were a lifeline for him, a form of sanity. She knew Jack always looked foreward to his time with Aaron, enjoying every moment they had together. She knew he would be just as great with their first real child, knowing it would make their family all the more beautiful. She just hoped it was a healthy, strong baby.

Standing in the living room, facing the tv, she was surprised at the feeling of arms snaking their way around her body, a pair of hands resting on her voluptuous bump, a pair of lips kissing the side of her neck.

"Hey there," he whispered in a husky voice against her. She shivered.

"Hi," She whispered in response, leaning against him. He held her for a long moment, enjoying the feel of her body against him. It had been a long day and he needed the comfort of her in his arms. Breathing deeply, she turned to face him, sliding her hands up and around his neck, clasping them, enjoying his hands on her hips now. She searched his face, finding nothing but love. And a little bit of exhaustion. He had showered again recently, as he smelled of his masculine soap and shaving cream. She swayed a little to imaginary music. "Where were you today? I was worried about you." She said it compassionately, so as for him to know if wasn't about trust. He looked away from her, sighing.

"I had a tough day," he started, stopping the sway, and pulling her to the couch. They both sat, facing each other, and she could tell he needed to talk, to get things out of his head. This was a different Jack than the one she had met on the Island, this Jack like to talk things out, figure things out together. She appreciated that about him.

"What happened?" she asked softly, holding his hand comfortingly.

"You know the guy, in the accident? The one I had to perform surgery on?" She nodded, remembering the reason he had been paged. "Well, that man," he paused, searching for words. "That man is my ex-wife's husband. She had them call me bacause I saved her back once and she thought I could help him." Kate waited for him to continue, wanting him to be able to vent it all to her before she responded. "She was there, of course, also in the accident, but just bumped and bruised, with a broken arm." He rubbed his finger over Kate's soft hand, still speaking slowly. "All day she plagued me, wanting to talk, to talk about us." Kate cocked her head to the side, trying to understand where he was going.

"What do you mean 'us'?" Kate asked, confused.

"She and I. Our relationship. She regrets what happened. She wishes she hadn't left me." He closed his eyes, sighing again. "She came into my office and gave me this whole story about how she wished that we were still together and how she still loves me and though she loves her husband, it's not the same kind of love she has for me." He looked around, avoiding Kate's stinging eyes for a moment. "I told her I was getting married and was happy, for her to leave me alone. She's pregnant, too, Kate. A little farther along than you." He touched her protruding bump for emphasis, as well as comfort.

"Why would she tell you that?" she questioned, feeling slight jealousy bubbles in her stomach. She didn't know why, she had no reason to feel this way, but Sarah angered her.

"I don't know," Jack sighed, "all I can come up with is that she just wishes things were different. It took me a long time to get over our divorce, her affair, and I was just so mad she felt like rehashing is all in front of me, telling me she wished she could take it all back. I was so angry," he said it with such emphasis, she worried about what he had done after work.

"Jack, you didn't..." she drifted off. He didn't appear to have, but she needed to be sure. She didn't want to go down that route again with him, not now, not after how far he had come since September.

"No, Kate, I didn't drink. Not a drop," She gave him a soft, proud smile. "I went for a run on the beach, behind the gym. The sun was beginning to set and I needed to clear my head. I'm sorry I didn't call." He brought her hand to his lips, kissing it softly, slowly. She smiled lovingly at him. "I just, I had to tell you because I knew that if I didn't it would bother me and when it came out later it would be as clear or as understandable. I thought you should know." She gazed at him sweetly, before speaking.

"It's okay you didn't call, I was just worried something had happened. As far as Sarah goes," she stopped, making sure to choose her words carefully as not to be rude or disrespectful. "Jack, she knows what she had. You two weren't meant to be together. That's okay. She's just not as happy as you are. That happens when people think the grass is greener. Clearly, for her, it wasn't. But that's not your fault." She touched his race tenderly. "You're allowed to be happy, Jack. Do _not_ let her dictate your happiness. She doesn't deserve that ability." He watched her speak to him, so strong and sincere, and could feel himself falling for her all over again. She was so strong, so much stronger than him. He closed the distance between them swiftly, his lips crashing into hers. She kissed him back, moving her arms around his neck, deepening the kiss. For a long moment, they stayed together before he came up for air, his lips swollen, his breathing deeper. How he wanted her every time he did that.

"Thank you, Kate. Thank you for always understanding me. I don't know how you do it, but you always manage to understand where I'm coming from." Jack shook his head at her in disbelief, always wondering how it was she understood him so well and was always able to put things into words he could only begin to figure out how to say. She searched his face, giving him the same smile she had when he had proposed.

"That's why I'm here, Jack. That's why we do this so well." This time she kissed him, so deeply it stilled his thoughts, his only focus her and her feverish lips covering his. It was a soft, powerful, passionate kiss. He knew she was right, this was why they did this so well. He layed her back gently, enjoying her every curve.

Kate awoke the next morning to the smell of coffee and the soft sound of the radio downstairs. She was unaware of what time it was but knew it was unlike her to sleep later than Jack, especially on the weekends. She stretched her arms and her legs out completely, enjoying their large king size bed, wishing a little her had stayed in bed with her. But judging by the smells coming from downstairs, he was making himself useful, in another good way. Sitting up, she threw her legs over the side of the bed, pulling on one of Jack's large t-shirts and a pair of his boxers from his dresser drawer, throwing her hair up in a messy bun. She made her way to Aaron's room, checking on him, noticing his innocent shape still asleep under his covers, peacefully. She shut the door gently, making her way down the stairs. Making her way down the last few stairs she feasted her eyes on the handsome picture in her kitchen, of a shirtless Jack in long, white, loose fitting pajama pants, humming along to the radio. She siddled up behind him, leaning against the island, watching him flip pancakes on the stove. He didn't cook much but that definitely didn't mean he couldn't. She giggled to herself as he sang the words, always slightly surprised he could sing on key.

"_Just so easy when the whole world fits inside of your arms, do we really need to pay attention to the alarm, wake up slow, mmm, wake up slow..." _he drifted off, becoming distracted by his task at hand, and she watched as his hips moved with the music, joining in with the song herself.

"_But baby you hardly even notice when I try to show you this song is meant to keep ya from doing what you're supposed to, waking up to early, maybe we could sleep in, make you banana pancakes, pretend like its the weekend now, and we could pretend it all the time," _She bobbed her head from side to side, and his face was flush red from the embarassment at being caught singing along to a song half naked in the kitchen. As the song ended, she moved closer to him, reaching her arms around his waist. "I wish it was the weekend all the time," she kissed his bare chest. He kissed her forehead.

"Me too." He smiled down at her. "Good morning, Katie." he spoke softly. She gazed up at him, feeling the warmth of his body radiating.

"Good morning yourself." She looked over the production he had going on in the kitchen. "Whatcha making?" She asked curiously. He shrugged.

"A little of this, a little of that." He winked at her, proceeding back to his food on the stove. She laughed, pouring herself a half cup of coffee, and then adding some milk to it. She took a seat on the counter, enjoying the view.

"Do you have to go into work today?" She asked, knowing she probably knew the answer. He nodded, his back to her.

"Yeah, I do. But you and Aaron can come along if you like, and then we can go do something fun." Secretly, he didn't want to face Sarah again, and he hoped that if Kate and Aaron were there she would keep to herself. He stole a peek at Kate, grinning as she sipped her coffee, her feet bouncing back and forth to the new song on the radio. He surveyed her more openly, causing a blush to rise in her cheeks.

"What?" She asked, curious of the look he was giving her.

"You are adorable in my clothes, you know that?" He took the pancakes off the burner, walking toward her, needing a pause in his cooking to devour something else. He moved between her legs as she grinned shyly at him.

"Really? You think so?" she bantered as he devoured her neck. All she heard was an 'mmmhmm' against her neck, rousing a giggle from her lips. He took her coffee cup from her, placing it away on the counter, and then pulling her off the counter and into his arms, making his way back up stairs, her quiet laughter filling his ears.

Heading into the hospital, Kate and Jack held Aaron's hands, the child walking happily between his two parents. Making their way to Jack's office, they let Aaron press the button, which he loved, squealing with delight and the two adults laughed. He was such a joy to be around, so happy and carefree. Kate knew it was because that was all they surrounded him with, happiness and love. How could he be anything else?

Entering the hallway to the patient room's, it was quiet, not as busy as a week day. Jack wore his lab coat over his jeans, making Kate's heart leap a little. She and Aaron waited in the little visitor area while Jack made his rounds quickly. Kate was reading a women's magazine when she noticed Aaron peeking at a child's book. The boy was very interested, a plane on the cover. She called him over and as he made his way to her, he suddenly change his mind. "I wanna show Daddy Jack," he told her, heading for the door. She dropped the magazine, laughing a little, trying to grab the little boy.

"Baby, come here. Jack's working right now, you can't go-" the little child began to run and Kate struggled to catch him.

"Aaron, stop!" She spoke quietly, yet firmly, but the young child kept going, looking around for Jack. "Aaron, no." He looked back at her, still going foreward, surprising himself when he ran into a pair of legs. He fell down, and the tears began quickly, mostly from the shock more than the pain. Kate was by his side quickly, scooping him into her arms, holding him against her. She looked up the legs to meet the face of a blonde woman, recognizing it immediately from pictures she had seen. She didn't smile, she didn't want to.

"Sarah." It was a statement. The child cried against Kate's shoulder quietly as she sized up the older woman.

'I'm sorry, do I-"

"I'm Kate. Jack's fiancee'." She said it strongly, asserting her position in Jack's life. Sarah seemed surprised and a bit shocked, between the toddler on Kate's hip and the bulge under her dark green shirt, not to mention the younger woman's darker hair and eyes. They were almost polar opposites.

"Oh. Hi," She extended her left hand to Kate due to her sling on her right arm, and Kate shook it firmly. Sarah's eyes flickered over Aaron. "He's precious."

"Thank you," She protectively held Aaron a little closer.

"Is Jack here?" Sarah asked, looking around. Kate felt a little anger inside.

"Somewhere, yes." She placed Aaron on the floor, holding his hand. She gave a sweet smile to the blonde woman, killing her with kindness, deciding that might be the better route to take. Sarah became uncomfortable visibly, looking around again. Jack came out of a room a little further down the hall, and felt a sense of panic as he noticed his present and his past standing face to face, his son between them. Striding toward them, he interupted their conversation, smiling at Kate.

"What's going on?" He asked, noticing a tear-stained Aaron.

"He ran into Sarah here and it scared him," she spoke softly in a motherly tone, her best intention to make Sarah get the point. Jack picked up the little boy. He acknowledged Sarah with a swift hello.

"Jack, have you checked on John?" Sarah spoke quietly. Jack nodded.

"I did. He's doing all right. He seems to be hanging in there okay. I think we're planning another surgery for Wednesday, depending on the progress he makes over the next few days." He rubbed the little boy's back, watching the two women in front of him, thinking about how strange the female gender was. They seemed to be in a silent stare-down. "Kate? You ready?" He spoke and the brunette looked up at him, her eyes shining. She nodded.

"Yeah, It was nice to mee you Sarah" Jack grabbed her hand, leading her away from Sarah, feeling uncomfortable. When they were far enough from her, he glanced down at his love.

"What were you doing back there?" he smirked. She shrugged, her eyes mischevious.

"Nothing." She looked up at him and he knew she wasn't going to admit making the other woman aware of what she was messing with so he let it go.

"All right," Kate was a hot ticket, that was for sure.

"I don't share well." She grinned as they walked out into the sunshine. He laughed a hearty laugh, looking back at her, squeezing her hand.

"Clearly."

***All right, guys. This chapter and I didn't get a long very well and I may re-write it. But I'm posting it now because I told you I'd have something up tonight. Please let me know what you think. My next chapter will depend on your reviews. Kate would intimidate me, haha. Thank you for reading and again, let me know how you feel about this chapter :-) THANKS!***


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

***Thank you to everyone who joined in on the poll and for leaving reviews! Hopefully everyone will be happy with my decision. I'm going to proceed with heading to Christmas and we shall see if we come across Sarah again ;-) hint hint. I am pretty excited about being close to Christmas and will be releasing my 'JATE Christmas Album' soon for those of you who enjoy music while you read. This chapter is going to be a wrap up chapter and then the next chapter will be all Christmasy and you can enjoy the music and everything then. The next chapter will be long with lots of scenes so bare with me on this one as it may not be as long as others. Enjoy and please let me know what you think! :-)

Disclaimer: I do not own LOST or the characters or the flashbacks () used in this chapter. If I did, things would have DEFINITELY turned out differently for Jack and Kate ;-) If you need a refresher of the flashback and would like to see it happen in real time, you can view it on YouTube, which I also do not own haha.

Kate: Thank you SO much for the compliment! So sweet! Thank you!

casandrashephard: I am so glad you are enjoying this story! Please continue to let me know what you're thinking!

p: There will be some Sarah, don't you worry ;-)

Shanna: I pretty much LOVED your reaction to Sarah! Awesomeness!

Jimelda: As always, great review! Thank you!

Amy: I love that song too and had to include it somewhere...heheh

onetreefan: thank you for your review and your loyalty! I hope you keep enjoying!

LostFan4Life: I love your handle and your reviews! thank you! I hope you enjoy this chapter!

Lost-HarryPotterObsessed: Thank you! Thank you! I loved that scene too! I try to make them seem as normal a family as possible :-)

Philidelphia: I chose not to re-write it after I read your review, thank you :-)

jhplug: Thank you for your review and I hope you continue to enjoy the story! please let me know what you think!

YOU GUYS ARE AWESOME! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU!

Chapter 17 up soon, next 3 days or so :-)

Songs used for this chapter:

"Half of my Heart" John Mayer

"Every Rose Has It's Thorn" Brett Michaels ( I know I know but it makes me think of Sarah haha)***

* * *

_Jack sat at the hotel pool with his feet in the water, drinking from a half empty bottle of alcohol, starring at a piece of paper. His father joined him, putting his feet in the water as well. _

_"Hey, kiddo." the older man greeted. Jack looked up at his father. _

_"Hey."_

_"How's the water?"_

_"Oh, it's fantastic."_

_"Screaming kid next to me in first class. How does that happen, huh? What you got there?" Christian reached for the paper. _

_"Oh, Sarah wants us to write our own vows." Jack looked away, feeling slightly embarassed. Christian began reading from the paper he took from Jack._

_"'My hearts skips beats at the sound of your voice. My skin warms to the touch of your fingers. Where you go, I will go,' etc. etc. This is very nice." He nodded approvingly._

_"Those aren't my vows. Those are hers. I stole them out of the room. Can't write mine."_

_" Yeah, well, you're a doctor, not a writer." _

_"Right."_

_"Right. Sarah is a beautiful girl."_

_" Hell, yeah, she is." _

_"Do you love her?"_

_"Absolutely."_

_"Then why are you sitting out here?"_

_"What if I can't be the husband, or the father, that I want to be? What if I asked her because I saved her life? Should I marry her, dad?"_

_"Commitment is what makes you tick, Jack. The problem is you're just not good at letting go. "_

Jack sat on the back porch, thinking of the evening before his wedding to Sarah. Their encounter had been bothering him the last few weeks. His father was right. He hit it right on the nose. Jack had a difficult time letting go. Always had, probably always would. Truth be told however, he had begun to change. Of course, that was before she came strolling back into his life, married, pregnant, and still professing her love for him.

Starring up at the night sky, alone in the darkness, he wondered why that was. Why was he so unable to let go? What was it he was so afraid to lose? He had always wondered that. Taking a sip of his lemonade, he tried to determine what it may have been in his life that had caused him to become such a perfectionist, but also such a failure. It was as if he was so afraid to fail, and he spent so much time being afraid, he was unable to succeed. But then he had saved Sarah from being paralyzed for the rest of her life. He still wasn't sure how that had happened, a miracle they say. He remembered the shock he had felt when she had expressed to him that she could move her toes, the feeling of sudden success he had at his surgery having worked. He had fixed her. He still felt that was why he had married her, because he had fixed her. Which was backwards since most people would have married her if they hadn't fixed her, so she didn't suffer alone. But instead of being conventional, he had married her as if to preserve the feeling of having saved her, of having _fixed _her. That word held significance in his life. It was true, he was always trying to _fix_ things. Lucky for him, however, Kate never needed to be fixed. She just was who she was, and never looked back, and if she had a problem she fixed it herself. She was independent, she didn't need him like Sarah had, or like many women in the past had, she simply loved him. She forced him to be a better man, but not a hero. She could save herself just as well.

In his meetings, they informed them that alcoholics were perfectionists, that they accepted nothing but perfection from themselves and others. That explained a lot to Jack, his _de facto_ leadership on the Island, his inability to accept his own failure and the faults of others, as well as his inability to succeed. He was so afraid to fail it was all he ever experienced. He never 'let go' and simply lived. Kate did, she was an example to him. She and Aaron were the solid, single reason he had began his journey to becoming sober, and the reason that he accepted everything now, failure, success and everything in between. Raising a small child, he was never going to be the perfect parent and Aaron was never going to be the perfect child, and he needed to know that as long as he tried his best that was what mattered. No one had ever told him that as a child, and that was what he had needed to hear most. Luckily for him, Kate was the very essence of that for him, so he was able to pass it on to Aaron, and their unborn child.

Looking across the backyard he could see all the houses lit with their Christmas lights. He had put the ones up on their house this afternoon, a Saturday, and had helped Kate and Aaron decorate the inside. Aaron was set to help Margo the next day, as she was excited to enjoy the company of a child during the holidays for the first time since Jack was a child. Kate was upstairs putting Aaron to bed while Jack enjoyed the chilly air outside on the back deck. He had enjoyed their day together, and the 10 Christmas cookies he had eaten as well, getting into the holiday mood. But he couldn't shake Sarah's visit and the apparent feeling of distress and failure it brought over him. He struggled to remind himself it wasn't his fault the marriage had ended for good. She had walked out on him, no longer caring for him or willing to be a surgeon's wife, while he had still loved her and wanted to make it work. He cursed the fact that she was back in his life, making all the time and effort he took to get over their divorce an apparent waste of time.

His thoughts were interupted by his very pregnant fiancee' opening the back door. He smiled at the sight of her curly locks flowing down over her shoulders, her face clear of any trace of make-up, his soft navy sweatpants hanging from her hips and her grey fleece pull-over hugging her baby bump. She was five months along at this point, and her body was making it clear how pregnant it felt. She laughed about how she felt like she was carrying a soccer ball under her shirt all the time, as round and hard as the bump had become. He watched her approach and all thoughts of Sarah were forgotten as his beautiful soon-to-be wife was welcomed onto his awaiting lap. He drew her in close, kissing her forehead as she snuggled against him. He whispered a small hello against her sweet smelling hair, enjoy the lilac fragrance that encircled him. She returned the hello with a small one herself,grasping his large hand in her petite one.

"Aaron asleep?" he asked quietly, rubbing her arm. She smiled against his chest.

"Yep. He was exhausted, barely kept his eyes open while I read to him. " she leaned back, looking up at him with a sweet expression, his heart melting a little. "He so enjoyed today. I did too." She gave him a small kiss. He smiled against her soft lips.

"Me too. It's so amazing that you're pregnant for Christmas." He rubbed her stomach, her relishing in his touch. She loved it when he caressed her belly.

"I know! I can't believe I'm pregnant period. It blows my mind how different I feel everyday and the fact that I'm carrying a little being inside here." She laughed as she spoke, giving her belly a good rub. He laughed, caressing her face.

"You are the most wonderful mother." he spoke emotionally, starring deeply into her eyes. He meant every word, she was. She was so much more amazing with Aaron than he could ever be as a parent. They shared a moment of silence between them, as they read each other through their eyes, each wondering what the other was thinking and yet lost in their own thoughts all the same. Their thoughts were interupted by movement under their hands. He looked down and then back up at her in shock, her face expressing the same surprise he felt. "Did you feel that?" he asked with reserved excitment. She nodded quickly a bright smile growing across her face.

"It kicked!" she exclaimed, putting any unsureness to rest. She moved her hand back to that spot and laughed out loud again when it happened. She then placed his hand over the spot and felt her love for Jack grow even more if possible at the sight of his face as the baby kicked against his hand. They shared a loving moment before he spoke, as it kicked him again.

"I can't believe it! That's amazing!" He continued to hold her stomach, as she held her hand over his, waiting to see if it happened again. Kate felt as though her heart was going to burst at the amount of love she had for the man in front of her and the child growing within her. It was a dream come true, one she hadn't allowed herself to realize for a long time, but now one she couldn't imagine living without. Jack watched the excitement and love across her face and felt a growing pride at the thought of her giving birth to his son or daughter, knowing it was the best possible match of people and traits, and knowing he couldn't love Kate anymore than he did at that moment. His heart was ready to explode.

He moved foreward quickly, catching her lips against his, making her heart flutter as he wrapped his arms around her. After a moment, he pulled back, leaving her breathless in his arms. "I love you so much." he told her with incredible passion, and a slight mist in his eyes. She met his gaze with misty eyes of her own, feeling as though she were in a dream, overwhelmed with such intense happiness.

"I love _you_, Jack," she responded with a powerful kiss, in turn taking his breath away. They were an amazingly intense match, with the perfect combination of incredible physical and emotional connections. Feeling her warm breath against him in the chilly night air made him shiver, holding her tighter. He knew this was right, this was where he was meant to be.

* * *

Monday morning came too fast for Jack's liking, as he made his way into his office first thing that morning. He smiled to himself at the thought of leaving Kate in the shower, reveling in the look of her naked body having taken on its new shape, a more volumptuous form, though still thin and fit. From behind she didn't look pregnant, and it was always a pleasant surprise to him when she turned to the side and he could see the full shape of her pregnant body, and was enjoying it more than he thought he would. She was carrying his child and it made her all the more attractive to him. He was beginning to feel so complete in his family life, with their marriage right around the corner and the baby due in May. The excitement sometimes overwhelmed him with joy.

Unlocking his office door, and urged himself mentally to move his head back to his job and leave the thoughts of Kate and her naked body behind, though he would much rather enjoy the latter than doing his rounds or viewing his surgery schedule for the week. He laughed quietly to himself as he turned his computer on and emptied his breifcase of files he hadn't gotten a chance to look over during the weekend. He was interupted by a knock on the door, looking up with a smile. He was greeted by his older secretary, whose eyebrows were raised in surprise.

"Did you enjoy your weekend, Dr Shephard?" the older woman asked, carrying in some papers for him. He chuckled.

"I had a great weekend, Tara. How was yours?" he asked pleasantly, reaching for the papers she held. She smiled.

"I had a good weekend, as well, thank you. These are just a few things that accumulated for your over the weekend. Also, Dr. Jennings wanted me to let you know he was going to try to go out of town this weekend just for a few days and wanted to know if you two could switch your on call weekends, you taking his this weekend and he would take your's next. " Jack placed the papers on his desk, thinking for a moment. He shrugged, still with a bright smile.

"That should be fine, I can't think of anything. And actually, I'd rather have next weekend off anyway," he paused for a moment, before continuing quietly, with a mischevious grin. "I'm thinking of taking Kate and Aaron upstate to the mountains to enjoy some snow." The older woman smiled at him sweetly, enjoying his happiness. She had seen him through some of his worst times, especially with his father, and was pleased he was finally enjoying some well-deserved happiness.

"Oh, Dr. Shephard, that's a wonderful idea. I bet she'd love that." The woman reached down into the papers she had given him, pulling out an envelope with a simple "_Jack_" written across it. "She actually dropped this by for you." She handed the younger man the envelope. He gave her a puzzled expression.

"Kate?" he looked over the envelope.

"Mmhmm. Last week. Wanted me to give it to you today," Tara shrugged, heading back toward the door. Jack shrugged himself, looking over the letter.

"Thanks Tara." He took a seat in his chair, leaning back, turning his attention to the letter. Opening it, he smiled at her handwriting across the light blue card stock, loving that she had made him this letter. The front only said, _To my Love_, so he knew the inside could only get better. Opening the card, he saw the most recent sonogram picture from last week, and he grinned at the small developing child. Written next to the picture was a small passage in her neat writing.

_Dear Jack, _

_I wanted you to know how much I love and adore you. You are the most amazing man I have ever met and I can't imagine living my life with anyone other than you. You make me complete. You inspire me everyday. I am so excited to have your child. And in 40 days we will be married, together forever. But I wouldn't need to marry you to be with you, I've been with you all along, since the day I stitched you up on the Island, and I will be with you always. I love you, more than anything I have ever loved. I cannot wait to be Mrs. Doctor Jack Shephard! _

_Love, _

_Katie_

_PS- I thought you should have a copy of this picture to put on your desk, until our little one arrives and you can replace it with a picture of the four of us. Have a great day, my love!_

He was overcome as he read the letter again, smiling so big to himself he felt his cheeks might explode. It was out of her nature to write such a romantic letter but he knew she meant every word. It warmed his heart. Starring at the photo of their child, he replaced the picture of Kate and Aaron at the beach with the sonogram, making a mental note to buy another frame so he could display both pictures. He stood the card up, facing him on the desk, so he could read it whenever he wanted to. He noticed writing on the back of the card, and pulled it back to himself, reading the back of it, a tear forming in his eye.

_I love you Daddy Jack! Love, Aaron_

A picture of what he knew was him and Aaron was drawn under the touching words, the two stick figures holding hands. The tear rolled quickly down Jack's cheek and he wondered how he had managed to be so blessed. Replacing the card, he wiped his face quickly, a permanent smile covering his clean-shaven face. _Today is going to be a great day,_ he thought to himself, reviewing the rest of the papers on his desk and beginning what he knew would be a busy day. Trying to concentrate, he secretly wished the day to go by fast, looking foreward to arriving home to his beautiful family.

* * *

Kate wandered with Aaron and Margo through a local baby store, browsing the shelves, she and Margo trying to decide what the baby would need. She knew it was early to be shopping but when the older woman invited her out, she could hardly say 'No'. And plus, she wanted to shop for her baby, despite not knowing the sex and only being five months along. She loved just the thought of the baby, let alone getting to decide what she wanted it to play with, what its first snuggly stuffed animal would be, and its first outfit would be. With each thought she grew more and more excited. Margo found a beautiful rocking chair in the furniture section, remarking on how comfortable it was. Kate sat in it, nodding at how much she liked it.

"I love it. Hmm...have to add this one to the list," the young woman laughed. As they walked down the aisles, Margo asked Kate about the living arrangements.

"Well, we're thinking right now that we will keep the baby in our room for the first few months, and then we think we may move Aaron downstairs and give the baby his room. There's a guest bedroom downstairs that we could change into a really cool bedroom for Aaron, and he doesn't mind moving downstairs." She shrugged, contemplating their choice. "Then again, we will see how I feel after I have the baby, I may want to stay downstairs for a while." She laughed. Margo nodded, understandingly.

"Yeah, I would wait and see before you move anything. We kept Jack in our room until he was 4 months, and then moved him. I stopped breast feeding him at 6 months." The woman laughed out loud. "Maybe that's why he is the way he is, the poor thing," the women shared a knowing glance, giggling. They both loved Jack immensely, but sometimes it was fun to pick on him.

"I breastfed Aaron until he was 6 months as well," Kate lied, her cheeks growing warm. Margo was still under the impression that she had delivered Aaron on the Island, which she had but not the way Margo thought. She had been researching both subjects but felt she didn't know enough to make an informed decision. Margo picked up a few baby outfits, putting them in the shopping basket she was carrying.

"I think it's all about personal preferance. Science can say one thing or another on breast feeding, and Jack was born in a much different time than today, so I say if you want to, do, if you don't, then don't. I'm sure that having this baby will be much easier than having Aaron," the woman laughed," Back when I had Jack, I didn't get any of those luxuries of today, either." Kate's face was pale as Margo laughed. "Don't worry, sweetie, it'll be easier than last time." She squeezed her arm around the younger woman's shoulders. Kate didn't look so sure.

"Um, I'm still scared. The whole idea of delivering this baby makes me want to faint. Same as the first time." She was telling part of the truth, recalling her fear as she had helped Claire through Aaron's birth, but was trying to act confident as she and Margo walked. She had, after all, seen a baby born from the doctor's perspective, how much different could it be to birth it directly, she wondered. Secretly, she was absolutly terrified. And she couldn't confess to anyone other than Jack her true fears, for her biggest fear of them all was losing Aaron if someone went to the authorities. She felt guilty already keeping him from his blood grandmother but didn't know how she would explain to Claire's mother about her keeping her baby after Claire dissapeared. She had needed him when they had returned, she couldn't have bared to give him up. And now, after everything, and the family she and Jack had created for the little boy, there was no way God's green earth she could part with him now. She cared for him too much. And he was comfortable, that was important to her. They continued their shopping, buying a few items before Margo took Kate and Aaron back home to Kate's for lunch.

Margo left after enjoying a salad with Kate, and Kate layed Aaron down for a nap. Closing her bedroom door, she layed herself down on their bed, inhaling the scent of Jack's aftershave that hung over his pillows, and tried to relax. The fear of birthing this baby was becoming more real, and she needed to discuss with Jack what her best option was. She wanted it to be planned and she wanted to be ready. The young woman tried to halt her anxiety, running her fingers in small circles along her bulging stomach, taking deep breathes. She knew she could read everything there was about what to expect while expecting but she also knew that everyone's experiences were different, so who was to say her's would be the same as the textbook version? Not to mention all of the complications that could happen while delivering. She tried to push the negative thoughts from her brunette head, closing her eyes as if closing out the fears and uncertainties. Before she knew is she was fast asleep, nothing but relaxed.

* * *

Jack opened the front door to the sweet smell of cookies, smiling at his fiancee's nesting syndrome. She was all about cooking, cleaning, and baking at this stage in her pregnancy, and he enjoyed that this had started at the best time of the year, Christmas time. He hummed along with the Christmas tunes coming over the stereo as he headed into the kitchen. Aaron and Kate were covered in flour, as was the kitchen, and the counter was full of sprinkles, frostings, and other decorative baking items, as the two stood at the counter, cookies in hand, covering them in delicious designs. Neither noticed his presence until he was closer behind them.

"What are you two doing?" He asked in a playfully angry voice. Aaron's little body jumped in fright as Kate laughed out loud. Turning to face him, he smiled at her white apron and the way it settled across her belly. Jack picked up Aaron, flour covered and all, and kissed his little cheek.

"Mommy, baby, and I are making cookies." Aaron responded, giving Jack the one in his hand. Jack took a bite, giving a loud 'mmmm' to show his enjoyment to the little boy. Aaron smiled brightly, clapping his hands. Kate giggled beside her two boys, and Jack enjoyed her beautiful face with smears of flour across it.

"You guys have been at this a while haven't you?" He leaned in for a kiss, Kate enjoying the sweet sugary cookie taste that came across her lips from his.

"Since we woke up from our naps. What are you doing home early?" She bit into one of the cookies, nodding her head in acceptance of the sweet taste of frosting.

"I just couldn't wait to get home to my loves," the man squeezed his son tighter, sitting down at the kitchen table. Kate followed, sitting next to them. He was usually home closer to 6:30 on Mondays, if he didn't go to his meetings, but today he escaped at 5:00, arriving home an hour earlier than normal.

"Well we are happy to have you home early. Guess what's on tv tonight?" she asked with a grin. Jack thought for a moment before shrugging. Before he could verbally respond, Aaron was clapping loudly.

"Rudolph!" The little boy exclaimed. Both parents laugh out loud. Jack gave the boy an excited look.

"I love Rudolph!" Kate laughed at the exchange between Jack and Aaron and knew they would enjoy the movie together. It was a great way to celebrate Christmas as a family.

"What would you like for dinner?" She asked, standing and moving to the refrigerator. "I bought some fish today at the market for, or you and Aaron could have some chicken.." she drifted off, browsing what she had as the man wrapped his strong arms aroung her.

"Are you on the menu?" he whispered in her ear, causing a shiver. She giggled and leaned against him.

"I'm only on the dessert menu," She turned to face him, giving him a wink, before moving to help the young child continue decorating his cookies.

"How about a veggie pizza?" the handsome man leaned against the refrigerator, and she surveyed him in his suit and loosened tie. She nodded.

"That sounds delicious. You order it." She instructed him, throwing him the portable phone. He caught it and dialed the number off the magnet on the refrigerator, enjoying her playful manner. As he did that she prepared plain chicken breast and cucumbers for Aaron, knowing he would not enjoy vegetarian pizza. Jack told her the pizza would be there in forty-five minutes and excused himself to go shower before eating. She laughed at his need to shower twice a day, but truefully speaking she had been the same way since coming back from the Island, and having not been able to shower for over more than a few times over three months. Salt water didn't clean as well as one might think.

* * *

Their stomachs full, and the movie over, the two of them settled Aaron into bed, reading a story to him together, taking turns, before the little child fell asleep. Jack turned off the light as Kate tucked the boy in tight under his covers, and the two watched him sleep peacefully for a moment before making their way down the stairs to the living room.

As they sat down on the couch, Jack touched her belly gently. "How've you been feeling?" He asked in a doctor's voice. She pulled her hair up and into a pony tail.

"Okay. Pretty tired. And this little one has been kicking and swimming up a storm today," she laughed. Jack smiled tenderly.

"Did you have fun shopping with my mom?" he sat back and grabbed one of her petite feet, rubbing it.

"Yeah, we had a great time. Aaron loves her. We went baby shopping and then had lunch here." She loved Jack's foot rubs. "Hey, can I ask you a professional question?" she began. He nodded.

"Of course," he encouraged.

"Okay. How do you think we should have this baby?" She questioned honestly.

"Well, I think we should have it in a hospital this time, not on a rock on an Island," he joked. She kicked him gently in the stomach, causing a laugh. "Sorry, just playing. For real though, I mean, it's whatever you want to do. Why are you asking?"

"I don't know, I'm just really scared. Claire was in so much pain and she didn't have an epidural, bless her, but I just dont know if I can do it. I mean, grabbing the baby as it comes out and actually pushing the baby out are two very different things. I'm worried about complications too," she drifted off, rolling her head from side to side, loosening her muscles.

"They are very different things, but you will be fine whatever you decide. They can always do a cesarian section if you want. There's that option too," he reasoned.

"I know, I guess I'll just have to keep thinking about it." She sighed, then yawned. "I'm sorry, I'm just so tired lately. It's getting heavy," she chuckled as she shook her belly gently.

"You want me to rub your back upstairs?" he asked earnestly, not wanting to indicate anything she didn't feel like. She smiled at him.

"I'd _love _that!" she exclaimed in relief, knowing it would feel wonderful. Standing, he took her hand and they walked together toward the stairs, turning off the lights and locking the door. He was so caring, she thought to herself, enjoying the way he pampered her all the time. It was as if he enjoyed doing it too.

Rubbing her back, he watched as she relaxed before his eyes, and after he stopped, they cuddled, her body surrounded by him and pillows. She fell asleep quickly, her breathing slowed. He enjoyed the feel of her body against his and soon drifted off to sleep as well, having dreams of the child growing inside his love.

***I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter! Please let me know how you feel about it! Some good stuff is coming up! Stay tuned! :-)***


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

Okay, so here is my soundtrack. The soundtrack covers everything I have used to come up with ideas for these Christmasy chapters as well as what I have used to write so far. All are available on YouTube.

_**JATE Christmas Soundtrack :-D**_

"I'll Be Home For Christmas" Rascal Flatts

"The Gift" Jim Brickman with Colin Raye and Susan Ashton

"Santa Baby" Britney Spears (Kate)

"Christmastime is Here" Vince Guaraldi Trio

"O Tannenbaum" Vince Guaraldi Trio

"Skating" Vince Guaraldi Trio

"Peanuts Theme" Vince Guaraldi Trio

"I Pray On Christmas" Harry Connick Jr.

"Silent Night" Harry Connick Jr.

"Baby, It's Cold Outside" Willie Nelson and Norah Jones (Jack and Kate)

"Winter Wonderland" The Judds

"Winter" Vivaldi

"Away in a Manger" The Judds

"There's Always Tomorrow" Clarice-Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer

"Celebrate Me Home" Kenny Loggins (Jack)

"Desperado" The Eagles (Jack)

"O Come All Ye Faithful" any version will do :-)

These are all the songs I used...Please listen to them in your own order, except the ones denoted with a Jack or a Kate or both because that means they are featured in a peticular spot in the next few chapters (you will know when). I hope you all enjoy this chapter and look foreward to the next Christmas installment. It was difficult getting into the Christmas spirit in June but I did the best I could. Enjoy :-) Some big things are coming *you should be hearing the JAWS theme in your head..haha* Stay tuned for Chapter 17B in the next few days!

Jack cursed quietly under his breath as he tried again for the third time to turn the Christmas lights on. They had been trying to decorate the Christmas tree for an hour but somewhere between checking the lights and stringing them around the tree Jack had lost a bulb and now they did not work. He had tried replacing some of them, tried unplugging the seperate sets but he couldn't seem to get them to light up. Aaron sat dissapointed and bored on the couch while Kate made herself busy in the kitchen, making a cup of hot cider for her and Jack and hot chocolate for Aaron.

"Daddy Jack, can you fix it?" Aaron asked in an exasperated voice, acting just like Kate knew Jack would act if roles were reversed. Jack let out a sigh and rubbed his neck in frusteration.

"I don't know, Aaron. I may have to go buy a whole new set of lights." The older man sat down for a moment, his head in his hands. Kate entered the living room, carrying all three cups, handing a covered cup to Aaron and a coffee mug to Jack. She then set her's down and moved toward the tree, surveying the situation. They had chosen this Saturday afternoon to buy a real Christmas tree and decorate, proving to be a bigger feat than they had hoped. Kate and Aaron had always had a fake tree until Jack, since Aaron hadn't been big enough to enjoy a real tree, but now they felt as though he would appreciate it, and both Kate and Jack knew they would as well. She touched the prickly limbs of the fir tree, trying to figure out where the short might be. She combed over the lights, peeking at each one she could see before she came upon one that had indeed been broken. She pulled it out, smiling to herself, before reaching for an extra one.

"What are you-" Jack trailed off, watching the pregnant woman plug in the new lightbulb and the tree light up all around them. Aaron's eyes lit up and he jumped onto his feet on the couch.

"Yay, Mommy! You fixed the tree!" exclaimed the child, shaking his non-spill cup. Jack rolled his eyes playfully, standing to kiss his soon-to-be wife.

"Well, if I had known you could fix it I wouldn't have wasted an hour trying." He kissed her forehead before checking out the white-lit tree.

"I know, but it was so fun watching you get mad at an inanimate object." She watched their son grab the first ornament off the coffee table where Kate had laid out the ones he could hang, and smiled as he hung it on a branch he could reach.

"Merry Christmas, baby." Jack whispered with a smile against Kate's ear, handing her a brochure from his back pocket. She took it from him, looking it over as the smile on her face grew larger.

"What is this?" She asked curiously, surveying the colorful paper. "Are we...?"

"Yep. We leave next Thursday. I switched my on-call from next weekend to this weekend, so we are free to leave town for a few days. I figured we would take Aaron up to see some snow, and maybe enjoy a little snow ourselves," he kissed the side of her head sweetly, as she appeared delighted with his gift.

"Where exactly are we going?" she asked excitedly.

"Big Bear Lake. We're staying a secluded cabin off the lake. I thought it would be a nice getaway for a few days. Mom's Christmas party is Wednesday so we will be back on Monday. We couldn't miss her party and plus I have to get back to work." He turned her to face him. "What do you think?" he searched her face.

"Are you kidding, Jack? I am so excited! This is wonderful! Aaron's going to have a blast!" She hugged the handsome man tightly, enjoying the smell of his aftershave and the feeling of his arms around her. Jack chuckled above her head and when she looked up at him he pointed at the young child. She turned to see that he had placed all the ornaments in one spot on the tree, at his eye level and below. Kate smiled lovingly at the boy before moving to explain to him he needed to spread the ornaments out around the tree. Nodding, he began moving them one by one a little further around the tree. Kate placed the brochure down, deciding to tell Aaron after the event of decorating the tree so he didn't get too distracted and could stay on the task at hand. She began helping Jack with the more delicate ornaments they had purchased together, relishing in the family feeling the evening held.

Jack sat at his desk at work on Monday, once again distracted by his wonderful weekend. They had finished decorating the house and had even shopped a little for Aaron, leaving him with Margo to enjoy some "Charlie Brown Christmas" that played Sunday on television. Kate and him had shopped joyously, holding hands, picking out gifts they thought Aaron would truly enjoy, including the ones on the list he had written for Santa that they had pretended to mail for him. Now, as Jack sat at his computer and sipped his coffee, he contemplated what he would get Kate for Christmas, researching what he should buy her. He wanted to get her something that she would truly enjoy and appreciate, and nothing too over the top or un-original. He was browsing a jewelry site when a knock came at his office door. Sighing at the interuption, he called out to the person on the other side.

"Come in!"

The door opened and to Jack's honest dismay, Sarah stepped into his office. Closing the door behind her, and then walking to his desk, she noticed the visible irritation upon Jack's scruffy face.

"Hi, Jack," she spoke softly. Jack leaned back in his chair, trying to enhance the amount of space between the two.

"Sarah, what can I do for you? I've already been down to look at your husband. He's recuperating well." Her husband was indeed recuperating well, though slower than Jack would have liked. And since he was still here, so was Sarah, everyday, like the plague. And she was still determined to finish her conversation with him from the day she had admitted to still loving him. Frusterated, he took a sip of his coffee, trying to act cordial.

"He is. Thank you for that. You've done a great job." She shifted uncomfortably in her seat and Jack began to wonder why she was even there. "I didn't see you around this weekend," she spoke, making him want to laugh out loud.

"I was at home with my family." he said shortly, a small smile spreading across his face at the thought of his three loves. Sarah appeared hurt by the statement, looking away. She rubbed her protruding belly subconsiously.

"Oh, that must be nice," She spoke wistfully.

"I'm sorry John won't be able to be home for Christmas, it's just a precaution. He's not ready to be without his medication and the nurses. We're still not sure if there are any long-lasting effects of his head trauma or the surgery." Jack said it plainly, trying to make it clear to her that he did feel bad but that there was nothing he could do. "You of all people know how that is."

"It's fine, I understand." She looked back at him and he felt his face grow warm at the amount of emotion in her eyes. "Jack, about what I said last time I was in here..," She drifted off, taking a deep breath. "I just wish we had worked it out. I miss you." He cleared his throat, growing uneasy.

"Sarah, I meant everything I said before. You're married, I'm about to be, we're both expecting, I'm happy." He stated his reasons plainly, hoping she would understand. "That shipped sailed. I'm sorry, but I don't love you anymore." He looked away, wishing she would get the message.

"Do you remember that time, our first Christmas, when we went to New York City, and took a carriage ride through Central Park while it snowed?" She said it so fondly that he felt like a jerk for having forgotten.

"I do," he spoke quietly. "It was a great trip. But that was another time, Sarah. We're not in the same place anymore. You left me, remember?" He was growing frusterated. She stood, moving closer to him.

"But Jack, don't you miss it? Don't you miss us?" She questioned him intensely, leaning her hip on his desk. He looked away.

"No, Sarah, I do not." He moved his eyes back, full of anger and resentment. He stood, as another knock came at his door. He rubbed his hand over his face as Sarah stood completely again, neither of them wanted people to see their close proximity. He moved away, minimizing the internet browser on his computer. The door opened and Jack was surprised to see Kate appear, carrying a paper bag. He took her beauty in, glad to see her. She smiled upon seeing him but that smile was chased by a frown when she noticed Sarah and her closeness to Kate's fiance'.

"Hi," she greeted, moving into the office. "Am I interupting?" She asked curiously. Jack shook his head, moving quickly to her side, taking the bag from her.

"No, Sarah was just on her way out." Kate's stare was cold as Sarah moved closer.

"Hello, Kate," Sarah greeted. Kate stood her ground, appearing unscathed by the blonde woman's presense.

"Hi Sarah," she responded, secretly wondering what the woman was doing there. Moving to the office door, Sarah looked over Kate's pregnant stomach.

"How far along are you?" she motioned to Kate's baby bump. Kate touched it, as if protecting it from the woman near her.

"A little over five months. You?" Jack felt as though it was some sort of battle between the women as they spoke of their terms.

"Seven months." Sarah's eyes grazed over Kate, as if she were checking her out.

"Congratulations." Kate spoke coldly, surprising Jack, and even herself. "I was just bringing my fiance' some lunch if you will excuse us." She said it as a command, moving away from the door. Jack looked at Sarah as she watched the brunette woman in hurt.

"Sure. Enjoy your lunch, Jack." She gave him a small smile as Kate responded for the man.

"He will. Goodbye, Sarah." Kate set the bag down as Jack shut the door behind Sarah, breathing a small sigh of relief. He then looked up and caught Kate with her hands on her hips, starring at him.

"What?" he asked curiously. She didn't smile, only looked upset.

"What was she doing in here with you with the door closed?" she said it bluntly, and Jack was uneasy by her implications.

"Kate, sweetie, everything is fine. She came in to ask me if her husband could go home by Christmas, that's all." He hated lying but would never want her to suspect anything, not to mention what Sarah had said would only upset her in her delicate condition. He moved closer to her, rubbing his hands up and down her arms. "You have nothing to be worried about, babe." He smiled sweetly at her, kissing her forehead. She smiled a little as he turned his attention to the bag on his desk. "What did you bring me?"

"A turkey sandwich with a salad." She grinned. Unpacking the bag, he laughed lightly.

"You know, you don't have to be so intense with her. I felt as though you were Snow Miser or something," he chuckled, referancing the character from "The Year Without a Santa Claus", causing a giggle from her.

"Well, I was about to go Jack Frost on her ass if she didn't leave." She sat down in the chair by his desk, sighing as she did.

"You all right?" He asked, laughing at her response. She was a handful sometimes, that was for sure.

"Yeah, just feeling kind of fat and heavy today," she said honestly, starring at her large stomach.

"You are not fat," He defended, starring her in her green eyes. "Our baby is growing in there! And besides, from behind you don't even look pregnant." He winked at her. "You're all belly," he kissed her nose, causing a giggle.

"Thank you, Jack. But that doesn't stop how I feel." She sighed heavily.

"Where's Aaron?" he asked affectionately, sitting down in his office chair, un capping his salad and dressing it.

"Still with your mom. He loves her to death," Kate laughed. "She's so great with him. She really enjoys his company." He nodded, munching his salad.

"She does, she tells me all the time." Lovingly, he grabbed her hand. "Soon she will have two to play with. And she can babysit and we won't even have to pay her!" he joked, as they both laughed. Kate shook her head.

"I'm not sure a newborn will be that much fun for your mom," she chuckled. Jack scoffed.

"Are you kidding? We'll be lucky if we get it back from her." As she watched him eat, she tried to rid herself of the visions of Sarah in his office. She should know better than to be jealous but it was hard sometimes, knowing how handsome and charming Jack was. But she was his ex-wife and if anything, that should make her feel more secure, not less. But there was just something about it she couldn't shake, something that bothered her a little bit. She truly hoped she was right, that she had nothing to worry about.

xxxxxx

Kate stood at the window watching the snow fall around their log cabin and she couldn't help but smile ear to ear. She had been so surprised at Jack's gift of this trip, and she was delighted to be at the lake now, enjoying the snow and the scenery and the two most important people in her life. She was also loving being pregnant this time of year, as it was the most gratifying, loving adeventure she could have ever asked for, and to be sharing these exciting months with Jack made it all the more enjoyable. She was really expanding at this point, her belly very hard now, and very round, making clothes a little bit of a difficult task. Before they had left for Big Bear, she had taken Aaron shopping for snow clothes and had bought herself a few things, but was struggling with the large feeling she carried, being almost months along. But she knew it was all going to be worth it once the little being made its entrance into their world.

Kate watched Jack and Aaron build a snow man and felt so much love for the man outside. It was as if he had become someone else, a more pleasant, relaxed man than he had ever been. He still went to his meetings to stay on track, and had managed to stay sober since he'd moved back in, and she was very proud of him for that. He was so sweet and kind, much like the man she had met when they first crashed, before he had found out about her past and her secrets. If there was one thing Jack Shephard it was secrets and lies, which was contradictory of himself, since for a long time during which they were getting to know each other he carried as much secrecy and mysteriousness as she had. But since he'd moved back in, he had been nothing but honest and there for her and Aaron since their fight.

_Oh the fight_, she thought to herself, sipping her warm cider. They had yet to speak of it since he's moved back in, and she hoped it never came up again. She knew that was an immature thought, however, as it was bound to, someday, and she would then tell him the truth, like she had wanted to the night the fought. Cassidy knew that she and Jack had fought about the secret, as Kate confided most of her life in Cassidy, and Cassidy had dissaproved of Kate's handling of the situation, as she felt no sympathy or understanding toward Sawyer and his actions. She told Kate that she felt Kate should have told the truth, and that endangering her relationship with Jack over someone as unimportant as Saywer would have been a stupid move, Cassidy knowing how much Kate loved Jack and how much their relationship meant to her. But Kate struggled with that conclusion, as she did care for Sawyer, and knew that Jack would see Sawyer as a failure for leaving a wife and baby, never caring to see the child or be in its life. And Kate couldn't accept that kind of ill-will toward Sawyer from Jack, knowing all of the things Sawyer had done for her on the Island. She had never loved him but she had cared for him a lot, seemlingly always torn between the one she felt she was most alike and the one who made her feel like a better person. Ultimately, her trust and feelings had landed her on Jack, and when they had arrived back in the States, there had been no one on the Earth she would have wanted to spend more time with or raise Aaron with. Convincing Jack of that had been the hard part.

Kate had always pondered telling Jack about 'her friend' Cassidy, as they spoke and e-mailed often, and constantly sent each other pictures of the children, but she was having a hard time figuring out what his response would be. Would he not trust her? That was one of her biggest fears, him not trusting her. It was an internal struggle for her, and she, until recently, had felt like he was testing. Since becoming sober, however, he seemed to have accepted her little flaws and secrets, maybe because he had finally realized he wasn't perfect either, and who was he to judge her? She hoped he stayed that way. She had always known she could trust him.

She smiled at the boys coming inside, Aaron's cheeks pink from the cold, and Jack's hair wet from the snow flakes. They had laughed while they had dressed Aaron, liking him to the little brother from "A Christmas Story", with his snowsuit so bulky he could barely put his arms down, but now undressing him seemed to be a feat all its own, with more snow falling out of the crevases with every layer. When he was finally down to his long-johns, he threw himself on the warm couch, expressing exhaustion. Jack kissed Kate, excited he had made this thought happen and so wonderfully at that. She smiled up at him before turning to the little boy who was expressing an 'Ewww' at them from the couch. Jack moved toward the child, who squealed, and jumped around on the couch trying to evade Jack's 'claw' hands, causing Kate to laugh in enjoyment.

She looked around the cabin and took in the bright Christmasy decorations, the garlands that lay across the ceiling beams, and the real Evergreen tree decorated in the corner. The first smell she had enjoyed was the smell of balsam fir upon entering the cabin, and told Jack there was a big chance she was never leaving. She was only kidding, of course, but knew in her heart that if they had been able to stay, she could stay here forever.

The boys' wrestling broke her from her reverie, and she walked to the couch, one hand resting on her pink sweater covered belly, the other against her lower back.

"Is anybody hungry?" She taunted with a grin. "I have turkey, tofu, and mashed potatoes," she laughed at their faces when she said the word 'tofu', reiterating, "Clearly the tofu is for me." They both made relieved faces before standing, Jack picking up Aaron and carrying him to the dinner table. They all sat around the feast Kate had prepared, and Jack gave an approving smile.

"Well, you outdid yourself once again, Miss Kate. I'm impressed. We can eat off this meal the whole time we're here," he kissed her hand, relishing in her blushing cheeks.

"That's the plan. You can do anything with turkey, so I think you boys will be set. And I'll probably make soup with some of the left over vegetables and the turkey bones." She decided, thinking that soup was the perfect snowy meal. Besides turkey, of course.

They enjoyed their dinner, talking to Aaron about all the presents he wanted for Christmas, and whether he wanted a baby brother or sister. He told them he wanted a little girl and that he wanted to name her Ducky, after one of his favorite characters in "The Land Before Time" movies. They laughed out loud at the child's candid-ness, not knowing that you couldn't name a child just Ducky, but appreciating his honesty. They allowed him to believe however, that Ducky was now in the running for the baby's name, if it were a girl. They couldn't very well name a boy that, the three of them reasoned.

After dinner, they all enjoyed "Frosty, the Snowman", before they put Aaron to bed. The cabin had three bedrooms, two twin beds upstairs and a master bedroom with a California king-sized bed downstairs. They put Aaron upstairs in one the the twin beds with his killer whale, and read him a christmas book before he feel into an exhaustion-induced sleep. Holding hands, the two adults made their way back down the stairs, enjoying the feeling of love and the Christmas spirit surrounding them. Dimming the lights, Jack noticed Kate sliding on her new winter coat.

"Where are you going?" he asked curiously, moving toward her where she stood by the front door.

"It's snowing," as she opened the door, he noticed how her pale skin and chocolate waves glowed against the front porch light and the snowy haze outside. Entranced, he also put on his coat, following her out onto the porch. Carrying the baby monitor in his coat pocket, making sure to know if Aaron awoke, they ventured into the yard. He was taken aback by her beauty against the snowy scenery as she slid her gloved hands into her pockets, each one on either side of her bulging belly. Her curls danced in the snowy moonlight as she mde her footprints through the snow, guiding him on a trail around the yard. He laughed at her as she tried to skip, her body and the snow preventing her, causing her to slip into the snoy abyss, causing a squeal from her pink lips. He was by her side in a second, making sure she was all right. Relieved when she laughed a heartwarming laugh, he helped her up, holding her tightly against him.

"What do you want for Christmas?" he asked in a husky voice against her ear. It brought chills up her spine as she thought of her answer.

"This." She replied, leaning back to look in his eyes. He searched her face, unsure.

"This?" he repeated, questioning.

"Yes, this. All of this. You, me, Aaron, this vacation, this snow, this baby, our life." She rubbed her gloved hands over her protruding stomach for emphasis. "This is what I've always wanted, there is nothing I could possibly want more, expect to marry you, which is happening next month." She grinned with wild abandon, "And have this baby, who is becoming heavier and heavier by the day." She laughed quietly, staring up at him when he didn't laugh with her. "What?" she questioned, curiously.

He brushed a few curls from her face, reading it, taking it in, her smooth skin, her silky hair, her emerald eyes, the pink hue across her cheeks from the cold air. He was overcome as he stared at her, thinking about how wonderful his life had become, how he couldn't imagine ever living without her in his life.

"Jack," She whispered, aching for a response. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Just realizing again how much I love you," he responded, her heart swelling. She gazed up at him as he dropped his head, his lips impacting her's sweetly, savoring every movement, every taste. She kissed him back, feeling energized, as though he breathed life into her. These were moments she craved, moments she would die for. There was no other feeling like the one when he kissed her, or when he made love to her. For her, that was how she was so sure it was meant for them to be together.

Pulling away, he felt out of breath, shocked everytime at the electricity he felt when his lips touched hers. He smiled at the deepened pink color of her cheeks and she smiled up at him.

"I love you," she whispered, as he rubbed his nose against her's. Then he held her, in his arms, as the snow flakes fell upon their hair and shoulders, never once shivering against the cold.

The next morning, Jack woke to the soft sounds of Kate's voice coming from the living room as if a mermaid's lullaby. It took him a moment to recognize the song, and as he stood, quietly pulling on his cotton sweatpants, he grinned upon recognizing the tune.

_Be near me, Lord Jesus_

_I ask Thee to stay_

_Close by me forever,_

_And love me, I pray_

_Bless all the dear children,_

_In Thy tender care_

_And take us to heaven_

_To live with Thee there_

_Away in a manger,  
No crib for a bed  
The little Lord Jesus  
Laid down His sweet head _

_The stars in the heavens  
Looked down where He lay  
The little Lord Jesus  
Asleep on the hay_

Jack watched through the half open door, unable to break the spell her song had cast on the small child in her arms. Aaron listened her sing, entranced, while he sipped his juice. Jack had never heard her really sing before, shocked at how beautiful her true voice was. Emerging shirtless as she finished her song, he smiled at her in her robe and Aaron in a blanket, kissing each of them. Her cheeks were pink as she looked up at him, taking him in.

"Good morning sleepy head." She spoke softly smiling up at him. She placed Aaron on the couch next to her, standing as Jack pulled on a shirt.

"Good morning," he grinned," how long have you been up?" he asked, moving to the kitchen to pour himself a cup of the coffee she had brewed for him.

"Probably an hour. We've been watching cartoons together. Aaron had some cereal already, I wasn't sure what you wanted for breakfast." She followed him into the kitchen, twirling a curl of her long, dark hair that lay against her shoulders, rustled from her sleep. Sipping his coffee, he leaned his back against the counter, facing her.

"Doesn't matter. Pancakes, french toast, cereal, whatever you brought." He grinned, taking in the sight of her sleepy face and large belly. She rolled her eyes playfully with a laugh.

"All right, I'll put something together for you." She moved around him, opening the cabinets as he made his way into the living room to sit with Aaron while he waited for his breakfast.

"Okay, keep your eyes closed," Jack prompted Kate, opening the passenger side door of her Volvo, helping her out.

"Jack, I'm blindfolded, I can't see anything anyway," she laughed, stepping cautiously out of the car as not to slip or hit her head. Jack chuckled.

"I know, I know, but I want to make sure you don't see your surprise," he spoke playfully, closing the door behind her. He opened the back door, unhooking Aaron from his car seat and helping the little boy out. Aaron let out a squeal but Jack shushed him as not to ruin the surprise. Kate tapped the car impatiently.

"Jack..." she spoke in a warning tone with a laugh, "what is it?" she said impatiently. He took her by the waist, helping her step foreward until she was in front of her surprise. He took her hand in his.

"Now reach up gently, ok?" he said quietly, grinning ear to ear. Her ungloved hand touched a soft, furry texture, and her brow furrowed.

"Jack, what is it..."she drifted off as he undid her blindfold and she came face to face with a chestnut-coated, white-blazed Clydesdale. His eyes were soft as she stood, shocked, in front of the large beast. "Oh, Jack," she sighed, a large smile spreading across her face. She placed her hand again on the horse's large, soft face, and pet it gently, talking quietly to it.

"This is Shep. He's going to take us on a carriage ride," Jack spoke happily, thrilled that she liked her surprise. She looked up at him with a large smile and then back at the horse. Jack picked up Aaron so he took could pet the animal, helping him do so by its shoulder, while Kate kissed its white nose.

"Oh, my gosh, Jack. This is so wonderful! Thank you!" She smiled up at the carriage driver, who seemed entertained by their reactions to the horse. Jack placed Aaron in the carriage before helping Kate in, and then settling himself next to them, wrapping them all in a dark blue blanket. The snow fell softly on their heads as the driver moved the horse off, as he picked up a smooth trot, moving easily through the snow. She looked around at the beautiful scenery, everything covered in a snowfall, enjoying the freeing feeling she felt as she hugged the little boy to her side and held Jack's strong, gloved hand. Aaron loved it, enjoying the sounds of the horses hooves through the thick snow, and Jack felt delighted to have surprised his family with something they were all enjoying. He had always wanted to take a sleigh ride as a kid, and now as an adult, felt glad he could do this for Aaron while he was still young. He watched as Kate's eyes glowed with happiness as she watched her surroundings. He was glad he could do this for her too, getting her mind off the pending birth of their baby, the last minute details of the wedding, and, of course, the Sarah drama that seemed to have a hold on this work life. They hadn't mentioned her name since they had been in the mountains, and hopefully, when they would leave the next day, Sarah would stay away from him. He hoped it would be that way, anyway. He didn't want to risk Kate getting emotionally distressed with the pregnancy nearing its end. He knew that wasn't healthy for her or the baby. And he knew it wouldn't help their relationship at all. He pushed the thoughts from his head, enjoying the sleigh ride and his happy family.

On the car ride home, Kate watched Aaron sleep in the backseat from her side mirror, as Jack drove them back to Los Angeles. She reached across and grabbed Jack's hand, grinning softly as her head lay against the head rest. He smiled back at her, looking back at the road.

"Thank you for this weekend. It was amazing." She spoke quietly so she didn't wake Aaron. He smiled back, looking back and forth between her and the road.

"It was my pleasure," he responded, squeezing her small hand. They shared a look between them for a moment, savoring the comfortable silence before she closed her eyes, willing sleep to come, but never letting go of his hand.

Kate looked in the mirror, and felt that no matter what way she turned, she did not look attractive. The green dress had an empire waist and held her in well, but her belly was shaped like a basketball, and she was struggling with the way it looked under the dress. Jack came out of the bathroom, and surveyed her checking herself out in the mirror, and smiled, tying his tie over his white shirt.

"You look beautiful," he said sweetly, knowing she was self conscious of her body. She scrunched her small nose.

"No, I do not, but thank you. I feel like a giant green present. All I need is a bow," she made fun of herself, sighing. He secured his tie and made his way over to her, wrapping his arms around her.

"You look wonderful and you know it. Besides, you should be happy you're all belly and have gained no other weight anywhere else. Just a few more months and you will be back to normal," he kissed the side of her face while rubbing her belly.

"Thanks, Jack. I just feel like a cow." She laughed despite herself, moving away from the mirror to finish her makeup.

"Well, you're not a cow." He chuckled, pulling on his suit jacket. He heard the door bell ring. "That must be Veronica, I'm going to let her in. Finish up, we're going to be late if we don't leave in ten minutes." He jested, knowing she hated to be rushed. She scoffed from the bathroom as he made his way down the stairs to let the babysitter in. Getting her settled with Aaron, Jack gave her any instruction she might need while Kate slipped her short heels on, grabbing her purse. Saying their goodbyes to Aaron, they made their way out the door to the car. He checked his watch again. "Oh, we're gonna hear it," he chuckled. She rolled her eyes.

"Your mom does not care if we are late to her party, be quiet." She gave him a light slap on the arm as he pulled the Volvo out of the drive.

"Why do we always drive your car?" he asked, smiling, knowing her answer. She gave him a dubious look.

"Do you have to ask that?" she responded. He laughed.

"What's wrong with my truck?" he questioned in an offended voice. She smirked.

"Nothing, except it's not 1975 anymore and we are about to have two kids. Annnd not to mention it's not exactly the most comfortable vehicle ever."

"You're just saying that because you're pregnant and fussy," he teased. She laughed, raising her eyesbrows.

"Um, I'm pretty sure that I am not the only one who feels like it is uncomfortable. And I just think maybe we need to look into upgrading to something a little safer," she spoke cautiously. "I mean, you can keep it if you want, but we definitely need to get something else too then." He laughed out loud at that, and shook his head. She shrugged, knowing she would win eventually. As they pulled into his mother's drive, only a short drive from their home, he helped her out of the car and they embraced hands, walking to the front door, and welcoming themselves into the large house full of many of Jack's parents' friends and some of Jack's family. Kate estimated about 50 people in the large mansion, holding tightly to Jack's hand as they weaved through people, greeting everyone Jack knew. They finally found Jack's mother in the kitchen chatting with guests. She moved quickly to greet them, excitedly hugging Kate.

"Kate, you look so beautiful. Look at your adorable belly in this dress, what a perfect choice!" She hugged the pregnant woman tightly, then hugged her tall son. "Jack, are you growing your hair out?" She questioned, a little surprised. He had always been a fan of the buzz-cut.

"Thinking about it, trying to look for like the aging man I am," he laughed, knowing he was getting closer to 40 every day. Kate got herself a glass of sparkling water from the bartender and Jack joined her with a non-alcoholic beer. She gave him a questioning look but he assured her it was okay by AA standards to have non-alcoholic brews. They wandered through the crowds, Jack introducing her to people and chatting with others he knew. She didn't know barely anyone there, and after a while, found herself alone, sitting outside, enjoying the breeze. She wasn't much of the party type, especially in her pregnant state, and felt a little awkward being pregnant before they were officially married in front of many of these guests. She had been outside about ten minutes when she heard Margo calling out to her guests inside. She moved toward the door, where everyone was gathering into the living room.

"Now, as some of you know, my son here knows how to play piano fairly well," Jack dropped his head with an embarassed grin as she continued on, Kate moving inside. "And at these parties I have, I enjoy embarasssing him and making him play for us. So Jack, play us something," everyone laughed as Jack reluctantly moved to the black grand piano in her living room. Kate moved closer, knowing she would enjoy what he was about to do, but also feeling a little surprised that he knew more than the song she had heard him play on the Island.

"It's been a while since I've played, so everyone please be nice," the crowd laughed a little with him as he sat down, unbuttoning his jacket, and discarding it over the bench next to him. He played a few notes, trying to decide on a proper Christmas song to play, "This song is a favorite of my mother's and she played it for me a few years ago, after we were rescued, and I learned it after that," he told everyone before beginning a song she didn't quite recognize. She watched as his fingers moved flawlessly over the piano, and became surprised when he began to sing.

_Home for the holidays  
I believe I've missed each and every face  
Come on and play one easy  
Let's turn on every love light in the place  
It's time I found myself totally surrounded in your circles  
Oh, my friends _

_Please, celebrate me home  
Give me a number  
Please, celebrate me home  
Play me one more song that I'll always remember  
That I can recall whenever I find myself too all alone  
I can sing me home._

Kate felt her eyes water as she listened to him sing, and how much the song touched her after everything they had been through, thinking back to that year. It seemed so appropriate, and she so enjoyed his voice against the keys.

_Uneasy highway  
Traveling where the westerly winds can fly  
Somebody tried to tell me  
But the man forgot to tell me why  
I gotta count on being gone  
Come on mama, come on daddy  
And please, what do you want from me  
I'm this strong, I'll be weak _

_Please, celebrate me home  
Give me a number  
Please, celebrate me home  
Play me one more song that I'll always remember  
That I can recall whenever I find myself too all alone  
I can make believe I've never gone  
Let me, let me know where I belong  
Sing me home_

She moved closer to the piano, and noticed the tears sliding down his mother's face, though he didn't see them because his face was focused on the keys, his eyes closing every few notes, as he emotionally felt the music he played. Her own eyes felt misty as she watched him, the guests swaying back and forth. He hummed the last few bars, and upon the song ending, the group erupted in applause, Jack blushing as he caught Kate's eye. Margo wiped her tears with a napkin before moving behind Jack, kissing his cheek.

"That was wonderful, baby, but did you have to bring me to tears?" She jested, the group laughing. She probed for another song. "Play something else, Jack, this time happy." She requested. He looked thoughtful for a moment before his eyes rested on Kate.

"Kate can sing. Kate, will you sing a song for these lovely people?" He looked her in the eyes and caught the fear that rested in them. She shook her head politely, not wanting to embarass herself furthermore or call more attention to her large belly.

"Jack, I dont think-"

"Oh, dear, sing a song for us, please?" Margo asked, lovingly, and Kate felt herself get queasy.

"No, I'm not sure I can-," she began, before Jack began playing a familiar tune, a tune he himself wanted to hear her sing, more for his own entertainment than everyone elses.

"I'll sing with you," he prompted. "You start." He continued the intro for a moment before she opened her small mouth, begging words to come out.

_I really can't stay - Baby it's cold outside  
I've got to go away - Baby it's cold outside  
This evening has been - Been hoping that you'd drop in  
So very nice - I'll hold your hands, they're just like ice  
My mother will start to worry - Beautiful, what's your hurry  
My father will be pacing the floor - Listen to the fireplace roar  
So really I'd better scurry - Beautiful, please don't hurry  
Well Maybe just a half a drink more - Put some music on while I pour_

Kate's voice grew stronger as she only looked at Jack, surprising even herself at how she sounded. He was entranced by her as she sang the words, unable to take his eyes off her.

_The neighbors might think - Baby, it's bad out there  
Say, what's in this drink - No cabs to be had out there  
I wish I knew how - Your eyes are like starlight now  
To break this spell - I'll take your hat, your hair looks swell  
I ought to say no, no, no, sir - Mind if I move a little closer  
At least I'm gonna say that I tried - What's the sense in hurting my pride  
I really can't stay - Baby don't hold out  
Ahh, but it's cold outside_

Despite the baby weight, Kate felt sexier as she sang, enjoying the sway of the crowd and the way Jack watched her. Margo watched the two younger people in front of her and felt the chemistry. She didn't know how Jack had ever married Sarah, they had never reacted the way he and Kate did when they were in a room. They were just in love, and that love was strong. Everyone in that room felt it, she knew, as they sang.

_I simply must go - Baby, it's cold outside  
The answer is no - Ooh baby, it's cold outside  
This welcome has been - I'm lucky that you dropped in  
So nice and warm - Look out the window at that storm  
My sister will be suspicious - Man, your lips look so delicious  
My brother will be there at the door - Waves upon a tropical shore  
My maiden aunt's mind is vicious - Gosh your lips look delicious  
Well maybe just a half a drink more - Never such a blizzard before_

_I've got to go home - Oh, baby, you'll freeze out there  
Say, lend me your coat - It's up to your knees out there  
You've really been grand - Your eyes are like starlight now  
But don't you see - How can you do this thing to me  
There's bound to be talk tomorrow - Making my life long sorrow  
At least there will be plenty implied - If you caught pneumonia and died  
I really can't stay - Get over that old out  
Ahh, but it's cold outside_

_Baby, it's cold outside_

When they ended, the room applauded them. Kate blushed immensely as Jack patted the seat beside him. They shared a kiss, and Kate leaned her head on his shoulder. She now felt accepted, as everyone began to sing "'O Come All ye Faithful" as Jack played the base notes, singing along. She had never been in such a joyous Christmas celebration, as she came from an abusive, broken family, and she knew now that she was in the right place, that she had done the right thing. She wanted to belong here, wanted to raise her children in this environment, with these people. Jack smiled at her as they sang and she felt swelled with happiness. And she knew it would continue, as soon after Christmas, they would be married. And she couldn't wait.

xxxxxx

I hope you all enjoyed that chapter, sorry it took me so long to post. Next update will be sooner than this one, don't worry ;-) Please let me know what you all thought. I didn't include Christmas morning because I've been dying to post this chapter and I'm running out of time, so that will be included in the next chapter, which will lead up to the wedding! 3 Please be honest about your thoughts, I'm not sure I totally love it, so I may rewrite a scene or two, but let me know. Everyone loves fluff, right? haha. Thank you again for your understanding on it taking me a while to get this out. Hope you enjoyed!


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18 "Wedding Bell Blues"**

**NOTE: my internet was down last night so I was unable to post this, but here it is now! I am SO sorry!**

Thank you to all for your reviews! I get very excited to read them and I hope you all continue enjoying this story. I enjoy writing fluff, because they're just so damn wonderful together! haha Hopefully the fluff will last... ;-) *spoiler alert* I cannot wait for this baby to get here also, I'm getting a lil tired of pregnant Kate...hahaha only because its hard to write togetherness when she's 6 months along. Hopefully I'm going an okay job. I have some great stuff coming up that I think you all will enjoy. At least I hope so. Allright, on to chapter 18.

Oh, PS-I entitled this chapter "Wedding Bell Blues" cause I thought it was catchy and signified what is going on. And it was also one of my favorite JAG episodes. haha Enjoy! So I do not own the title, I am just borrowing it. :-)

* * *

Jack and Aaron watched Aaron tear open his presents one by one, as he grew more excited by the minute. They felt they had picked out some major winners, including everything on Aaron's Santa list, making sure to get him a few extra 'awesome' ones, as Jack had called them. He seemed thrilled with all he had gotten, as he seemed be unable to choose which one to play with first. Kate stood as Aaron began to play, moving to the kichen to pour herself another cup of warm cider. Jack followed, grabbing a tiny gift bag off the hallway table, one she hadn't noticed he had set there while they were chasing Aaron down the stairs to open his presents.

She poured the warm liquid into the cup and savored a sip. Jack moved behind her, sliding his arm around her, placing the bag in front of her on the counter. She looked down at it in slight confusion, as they had already opened their gifts from each other, and had promised each other they would spend frivalous money on anything, as they were saving for the arrival of the baby and the things they would need for it.

"What's this?" She questioned, putting her cup down and picking up the small silver bag. Jack leaned against the counter beside her and shrugged, grinning.

"Open it." He spoke with excitement in his voice, knowing he had taken special care picking this gift out, even though he knew she wouldn't approve of him having bought her an extra gift. She smiled at him sweetly, opening the tiny gift. Inside the bag was a square box, and setting the bag down, she grew more enchanted as she opened the box. She made a small gasp at what was inside, surprised at the beauty of it.

"Oh, Jack," She whispered, a bright smile sliding across her face. She set the top of the box down and pulled the silver chain out of the box, touching the heart pendant softly with her fingers. Inside the heart was two smaller hearts, each with a stone in them, a yellow one and a green one.

"The colors are for Aaron and the baby. Citrine is Aaron's birthstone, for November, and the Emerald is for May, the baby's birth month." She looked up at him lovingly, grinning ear-to-ear.

"It's beautiful, Jack. I absolutely love it," her eyes misted as she slid the chain up around her neck, clipping it under her dark mane. "What do you think?" she asked, as she modeled it for him. He caressed her pink cheek.

"It looks just how I imagined it would." He gave her a soft kiss as Aaron crashed one of his fighter jets into the aircraft carrier they had gotten him as a gift, making a 'kablooom' sound, signifying a large explosion. They smiled momentarily at him before Kate smiled back up at Jack.

"Merry Christmas," she grinned, rubbing her belly. He layed his hand on hers, smiling back.

"Merry Christmas to you," he replied, kissing her small nose.

* * *

"Ugh!" Kate grew more and more exasperated as she came to the conclusion no matter how they fitted this dress to her, it was no longer going to fit. The bridal store seamstress expressed her apologies as she explained to Kate that her belly made it impossible for the bodice to fit as it had before Kate had become pregnant. She suggested Kate try an empire waist, hoping that may indeed help allow for the expanding of her belly as the baby grew, but Kate wouldn't commit because that wasn't what she had wanted. She had wanted this one particular dress and it didn't fit. She had been feeling irritable these last few weeks, the chilly weather getting to her, and she was struggling with the weight of the child within her. As Jack had said before, she hadn't gained much other weight, and did agree she had a cute belly, but she wasn't happy with the shape she held, especially in a dress. She was just getting over being sick, having a terrible cold that had kept Jack and her home on New Year's Eve, preventing them from enjoying the nice restaurant dinner reservations Jack had made for them, instead having non alcoholic champagne and watching the ball drop on the couch, enjoying pizza, Kate's guilty pleasure food. She had known in coming to the bridal shop that there would be no way to let the dress out enough to fit her, and that had made the whole experience uninviting for her. She was feeling very discouraged, and her heart wasn't in it, knowing she couldn't wear the dress she had picked out.

"Kate, honey, try this dress," Margo told the younger woman sweetly, handing her a soft ivory dress. "I think it will sit right above your belly and cascade down, maybe even hindering the size of it." Margo explained. Kate took the dress, looking over before dropping her arms down in defeat.

"Maybe we need to postpone the wedding until after I've had the baby," Kate began, a tear escaping her eye. She wanted more than anything for this wedding to be perfect but at six months pregnant, she was feeling anything but attractive and knew that this was something she should have done more than three weeks before their wedding. Margo moved to the dark haired woman, brushing the tear away.

"Kate, look at me," she started, touching Kate's cheeks, bringing them face to face. "You are getting married on the 19th. There is nothing you can do about that now. You look beautiful in your state and any dress will compliment that. Moving your wedding date for a dress is not a responsible answer to this dilema. Not to mention the hoops we would have to jump through to make that happen," the older woman smiled, trying to lighten Kate's burden. "Have an open mind, Kate. You will look back and laugh at this moment. There is a dress here for you that will make you look beautiful. You can always renew your vows in ten years and where that dress then." Both women laughed at that, knowing Jack would not want to go through another wedding yet again, especially just to renew something they knew would be set in stone. "Try this one on," Margo instructed, handing Kate another dress. Kate sighed, knowing that nothing would be as perfect as the original dress she had chosen but also knowing she had no other choice but to try to find something that would be a fine second-best.

* * *

Jack rubbed his forehead as he listened to the voice on the other end of the phone. "I hear what you are saying but I'm not quite sure I understand. How is it something that I ordered 4 months ago is still not here?" the doctor asked, sighing. He waited, listening, before interupting. "We're getting married in three weeks, sir. I _need_ those rings." he spoke softly but strongly, anger raging through his blood. He tried to contain his temper as the man assured him that their platnium wedding rings would arrive the next week, understanding it was a very irritating inconvience. Jack gritted his teeth, wishing that they had just arrived on time, knowing that telling Kate the rings were not in yet would stress her out. "Okay. Please call me as _soon_ as they are in. Thank you." Jack hung up his office phone and rubbed his temples, feeling tired. The wedding was rushing up to meet them and he wasn't sure that they were ready, that he was ready. He picked up the phone again, this time dialing his best man's number, Mark Silverman, who had also been his best man at his first wedding. The phone rang a few times before Mark answered.

"This is Mark," the businessman answered. Jack smiled despite the stress of the day.

"Hey Mark, it's me" he replied. The man on the other end laughed.

"Jack! What's going on, buddy?"

"Not too much, just dealing with some last minute wedding details. How are you?" Jack leaned back in his chair, enjoying the non-stressful conversation.

"Oh, you know, busy busy. I can't believe you're getting married again," Mark laughed, causing Jack to laugh along. "I never would have thought it wouldn't work out the first time," Mark said candidly. Jack chuckled.

"Well, I have a feeling this time it's going to work." Jack grinned, staring at the picture of the sonogram on his mohogany desk.

"Good, I'm glad. Hopefully I'm not bad luck or anything,"

"Maybe that's my problem," the two men laughed before Jack continued, "Seriously, though, you have your tux right?"

"Yeah, all set and ready to go. I wasn't going to be on your bad side."

"Well, good, because the rings didn't come and I wouldn't be able to take you telling me you didn't have your tux," the dark haired man joked.

"The rings aren't in yet?" Mark replied, feeling for the other man.

"Yeah, they won't be in until next week. And I'm _praying_ they look like what we picked out." Jack paused for a moment, hearing his name being paged over the intercom. "Hey, Mark, I gotta run. I'll talk to you later,"

"All right, good luck!" the men hung up their phones, and Jack called the number they were paging him with, knowing it was the number of the ICU where a patient was they had just done surgery on, also knowing that was probably not a good thing.

* * *

Jack looked at his watch hours later, and it was late, surprising him. He was tired, and all he wanted to do was go home, but he knew that wasn't happening soon. They had had to take a patient back into surgery because his surgical site had begun bleeding out, and when they had gotten back in, had realized that something was not right about the wound. After fixing that, the nurses in the ICU informed him that Sarah's husband, John, was struggling with a fever, and they were having trouble finding the cause. So now, at 9:30 at night, he was scrubbing out, and headed downstairs to look at her husband, hoping she wouldn't be there. Glancing again at his watch, he stopped along the way to call Kate, having not been able to step away long enough to let her know where he was. Dialing her number, he leaned against the hallway wall, waiting for her answer. To his dismay, it went straight to voicemail. At the beep, he began, "Hey Kate, it's me. It's 9:30, I'm sorry I haven't been able to call, I just got out of surgery. I have a few more patients to look at and then I should be on my way home. Don't wait up for me, it'll be late. I hope everything is okay with you and Aaron. Call me when you get this. Love you." He hung up the phone, sighing, and continuing on his way downstairs to see his patient.

Upon arriving in the ICU, the nurses provided him with test results, and he began treating the man, inspecting his back where they had proformed surgery on him, and going through the motions of making sure everything else was in order. He was relieved Sarah wasn't there.

"It seems as though you have an infection coming from nyour surgical sight. We're going to treat it with some strong antibiotics, and we'll give you pain medication to control your fever and the pain. I say, you will feel better in a day or two." Jack replaced the chart on the door. "Any questions I can answer for you?" He knew this man didn't want to talk to him anymore than he wanted to talk to his ex-wife's husband, but they had managed to get through this whole awkward situation with a doctor-patient relationship, professionally at that.

"No, thank you, Dr. Shephard." John sounded winded, tired.

"Just get some rest." Jack patted the man's shoulder, before exiting the room. Making his way back down the hall, he was stopped when a voice called his name from the waiting room. Peering in, he was unhappy to see that Sarah was the one calling him.

"How is he?" she asked, standing from her chair. Jack crossed his arms.

"He'll be fine, we caught it early. He had an infection, but we'll get it quickly." The doctor responded, professionally.

"Why is it taking so long for him to heal?" She asked wearily. Jack shrugged.

"Not everyone heals at the same rate, Sarah," he seemed to have a double meaning to that statement by the way his icy glare looked her over.

"Jack, I'm sorry about-"

"Sarah, I don't want to talk about it anymore," he told her quietly but forcibly. It was late and there weren't many people around, a skeleton crew on staff due to the holidays, but he didn't want anyone hearing this conversation or knowing their history. She took a step foreward.

"We're getting a divorce," she replied plainly, surprising him. "We were fighting when the accident happened, we haven't been getting along, and now with this..." she trailed off, looking away. He didn't know what to say, feeling slightly bad for the baby, but feeling nothing for her.

"I'm sorry, Sarah," he replied coldly, looking away. He needed to find a reason to leave the room. He thought back to his conversation with Juliet in the Hydra, when he asked her if Sarah was happy, and her answer had been 'very happy'. _I guess she had that wrong,_ Jack thought wryly.

"It's all right. I guess that's karma, right?" she smirked through a few tears, and Jack became uncomfortable. When she began to cry, he wasn't sure what to do, feeling obligated to hug her, but feeling like he would rather excuse himself. Impusively, he wrapped his arms around her crying form, resting his head on her's in an effort to comfort her against his better judgement. She cried into his doctor's coat for a few moments, and all he could think about was how long he would have to stand there, and how wrong it appeared. He had a flashback in his mind, to the night she left, the night he relived over and over, especially everytime he saw her.

_"Jack, I'm leaving you." Jack's smile dissapeared, disbelief crossing his features._

_"What?" he whispered in shock._

_"I was already leaving you. That's why my mother was here. She was helping me pack." She paused, watching as Jack tried to take in her words. " I've been seeing someone - someone else. I have to - I can't stay." Sarah said the words slowly, watching as Jack's face fell, letting a breathe out as if she had kicked him in the chest. Jack began to cry, following her._

_"__Sarah." he pleaded. _

_"__You, you will always need something to fix. Goodbye." He watched her walk out, tears streaming down his face. _

He pulled back, feeling the harsh taste of bile, and the need to get away from her. He no longer felt the need to fix things, he thanked AA and Kate for that, and he definitely no longer felt the need to fix his relationship with her. As he pulled back, he saw her gaze up at him and grab his face gently, pulling it back to her's. Before he could react, her lips grazed his, shocking him into stillness and surprise. Her lips kissed on his for a few moments before he pulled back, his faced flushed in embarassment, his blood boiling. He backed away from her radically, shaking his head.

"Jack..." she started, moving toward him. He put his hands up in defense, unable to deal with this situation for a moment longer.

"No, Sarah. No." was all he said as he pointed his finger at her and then turned, striding through the door of the room, and into the hallway, practically running out of the ward. This was not supposed to happen, he knew. Not with Sarah, not to Kate, not at all. He wasn't doing this again. He felt overwhelmed with emotions as he pushed the elevator 'shut door' button several times, waiting for it to shut. He could see her looking after him in the hallway but he wasn't going back, not now, not ever. He covered his face with his hands as the doors shut.

**Please review, it makes me happy and helps me know where to go next!**


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter 19 **

****No title for this chapter haha. Maybe we could call it 'pissed off' cause I know that's how a lot of you feel about Sarah :-P Are there any Sarah/Jack shippers out there? I'm just curious, because I've yet to come across one. Anyway, at least maybe_ they_ are excited about her recent adventures. As far as everyone else is concerned, lets see what happens, shall we? Did everyone like the cliff hanger? ;-) Thank you for all the reviews, you guys rock! I'm very excited to bang this chapter out as well, since I think this is my first double posting in one day! Lucky for you all! Thank you again for all the support, you guys rock! *hearts***

**PS- the song featured in the second scene is by Will Hoge, called "I'm Sorry Now". I found it fitting. For those of you who don't know who he is, he is AWESOME. I do not know if you can get this song on YouTube, but you can purchase it on amazon or I will be happy to e-mail it to you. Let me know if you're interested. **

**PPS- And for the sake of happiness, Nadia never died since I threw the whole 'going back to the Island' thing out a long time ago. I want Sayid and Nadia at the wedding together! K, thanks!*****

* * *

Margo switched on the lights in her plush kitchen, pointing at the young man by the sink. "Don't you dare!" she spoke in a raised voice as the body by the refrigerator froze. When the body turned, the younger man's face was flushed and drawn, his eyes red. Placing her hands on her hips, she strode her son, yanking the bottle of Absolut vodka from his hand. "Jack Shephard, I am dissapointed in you." She said it with such disdain, it made even her feel bad. Screwing the cap back on the liter bottle, she watched him as she rubbed his face, knowing he was ashamed she had caught him. "What are you doing here this time of night?" She asked, then glancing at the bottle, re-spoke, "Or I guess rather, _why_ are you here attempting to drink my vodka?" She placed the bottle back in the cabinet, and then faced her son, her arms crossed.

Jack didn't respond for a long moment, simply staring at the ground, sighing. She felt as though he were back in grade school and she had just caught him cheating on his homework. "Jack, you are 37 years old. Answer me." She knew she couldn't let up on him, not this time, not with how far he had come in the past few months. He looked up at her and she felt for the man in front of her, as he was obviously upset by something.

"I'm sorry, Mom," he started, running a hand through his longer dark hair. "I know I shouldn't drink, but after what happened at work, I didn't know what else to do," he looked at her for understanding or acceptance, but she gave none.

"Jack, you know you are not supposed to drink, there is no 'shouldn't'. What happened at work?" She started a pot of decaf coffee, sensing this would be a long conversation. "Hopefully it's something good, or I'm going to have to take your key away," she joked, leaning against the island in the kitchen as he took a seat across on one of the bar stools. He looked exhausted in his scrubs and lab coat, his face covered in scruff that was a few days old, and his eyes red from either stress or crying, she couldn't tell which. He had always been a sensitive child with a lack in coping skills, hence his attachment to alcohol. He very much took after his father, Christian.

"I had a late surgery, and had to round on some patients before I left. One of them was Sarah's husband, who got in a car wreck on Thanksgiving. He broke his back, and had some head trauma. I performed emergency surgery on him that day and he has been in my care since," he paused as she poured them two cups of coffee. "So that means Sarah has been around quite a bit." He sighed and Margo then knew where this was going. But she listened patiently, knowing it was her duty as a mother. " She's been trying to have conversations with me about us and our marriage, telling me she still loves me, and wants me back," Margo gave a dissapproving look but stayed silent, "So, tonight I had to check on her husband, who developed an infection, and when I was leaving the ICU, she was in the waiting room. I stopped in to tell her what was going on and she proceeded to tell me she was getting a divorce, " he paused again, contemplating whether or not to continue with the truth, and chose to continue, knowing he needed advice, "and when she started to cry, I hugged her because I thought it was the right thing to do, and then she kissed me." He stopped, sipping his coffee. Margo stayed silent for a moment before speaking.

"She kissed you?" the woman asked, visibly irritated by the woman's actions. Jack just nodded. "Did you kiss her back?"

"No, I was in too much shock. I pulled away and walked out." He rubbed his face again. "What do I do? I feel awful about it. If Kate ever found out..." he drifted off.

"Does Kate know Sarah is around?" Margo asked evenly. Jack nodded his head, sighing.

"Yeah, she's ran in to her a couple of times at the hospital." Margo shook her head, angered.

"Well, Jack, sounds to me like you need to nip this in the bud. Transfer Sarah's husband to another doctor and move on." She grabbed his hand from across the counter. "Let it go, Jack. You did nothing wrong. Sarah is part of your past. You need to focus on Kate, Aaron, and this baby. She deserves your full attention right now, especially with the wedding coming up. And stressing her out at 6 months pregnant is not a good idea." His mother gave him a strong smile. "You will be fine. You can do this without a drink," She gave his hand a squeeze in reassurance and he nodded slowly.

"I just don't want to mess this up with Kate." Margo watched him, understanding.

"I know you don't, Jack. You are not your father. Please keep telling yourself that." A somber look appeared across her face as she let go of his hand, walking away to peer out the window by the dining room table. He watched her, puzzled.

"Mom?" he questioned, wanting to know why she suddenly changed face, concerned. She gazed out the window for a long moment before turning to him, her face looking tired.

"Jack, your father made some mistakes in his life, mistakes I'm not even sure he would regret. He was a good man in some aspects, but boy, he had his moments." She sipped on the caramel colored liquid in her beige cup, then looked up at him, continuing. "Your father did some things I don't even think you know about. And God rest his soul, things I would have hoped to never tell you. You are not your father, your are a much better person than he could have ever been, Jack. I loved him, I still do, do not missinterpret what I am saying. He traveled a lot when you were a child, and he I know that he was with other women during that time. I don't know who they are, or where they are, but I know there were others." She spoke like a woman scorned. Jack looked down at his coffee, knowing to himself he knew imparticular. He chose to keep that to himself, think that maybe someday he would divulge the secret, fearing it would endanger her relationship with Aaron.

"I'm sorry, Mom," he stood, moving to her, and engulfing her in a hug.

"Don't worry about me, honey. I'm fine." She leaned back, kissing his cheek. "You have always been such a good boy." He smiled down at her as she moved away, pouring herself another cup. "Does Kate know where you are?" She asked curiously, turning back to him. He shrugged, rubbing the back of his neck.

"I called her at 9:30 and left her a message. She never called me back, so I assumed she was in bed." Margo glanced at the clock, her eyes wide.

"Jack, it's 2:30." She cocked her head to the side, waiting for his explanation.

"I told her I would be home late and not to wait up."

"It's beyond late, Jack. She's probably worried sick. How much did you drink?" She crossed her arms again, prepared for the lecture she was afraid she would have to give, again.

"Not a drop. I drove around for a while, before I came here, thinking no one would catch me, and you wouldn't hear me." He gave her the ashamed look once more. "I'm sorry, Mom."

"Go home, honey." She walked around the island counter and patted his rough cheek. "I enjoyed chatting with you but it's time for you to go." She smirked at him, walking to the front door, him wading behind like a puppy.

"Thank you for listening, Mom." He gave her a small smile, doing the best he could inside to let it go.

"Anytime, sweetie. That's why I am here. I love you." She held open the door, and watched as he walked out, then turning to face her again.

"I love you, too." He began again down the stairs, before turning back one last time. "So I don't tell Kate what happened?" he searched for the last peice of advice he needed. Margo sighed, contemplating the right answer.

"Jack, that is your decision. But right now, with everything she has going on, I would leave that peice out. She has enough on her plate." He nodded thoughtfully, before flashing her a small grin in thank you and headed for his truck. She watched him go, shutting the door with a sigh. If only Jack knew some of the things he father had done, she pondered, heading back to the kitchen to finish her coffee, alone with her thoughts.

* * *

Jack pulled into the driveway and felt foolish when he saw their bedroom light on. He sat in the driveway in his truck, trying to gather up the strength to venture inside.

_The light's on in your window,  
So I know that you can't sleep  
I'm down here with a secret  
That I ain't prepared to keep_

He watched for movement, for a sign she was still awake, and knew that she had probably heard his truck pull in. He felt terrible, struggling with the right thing to do. He didn't want to tell her, having had to tell Sarah something similiar the night she left him, but he didn't want to lie either. The internal argument continued, and he again wished his mother had not caught him before he could have downed that bottle of vodka, the pain and memories fading into the darkness.

_Sometimes things are over  
Sometimes over doesn't last  
Sometimes I can't find my way back home  
'til the bottom of a glass_

_But, honey, I'm sorry now  
Honey, I'm sorry now  
Honey, I'm sorry now  
I build it up and I tear it down  
But, honey, I'm sorry now_

He replayed their last argument in his head, the one over his jealousy and over her secrets, and felt even worse. In retrospect he was glad he didn't drink, she would have for sure kicked him out. And like his mother said, she didn't need that right now. Not in her condition, not while carrying their baby.

_I was thinkin' as I stumbled,  
like a thousand times before,  
I always seem to end up  
back in pieces on your floor.  
It breaks your heart and then you tell me  
That you're a fool to let me in.  
And I promise this won't happen anymore  
'Til I do it all again.  
But, honey, I'm sorry now.  
I wanna be better, but i don't know how._

He opened the truck door gently, quietly exiting, and shutting the door softly. He moved to the house, sliding his key in, turning the knob, and entering, wanting nothing more than to pull her to him, encircling her with his arms, and breathing in her sweet scent, feeling her heart beat against him. Maybe that would be reassurance, he thought. Maybe it would make him feel as though by not telling her, he would in turn be doing the right thing. He made his way slowly up the stairs, barely breathing with each step, hoping to find her small body asleep under their covers, the light only on because she had been too tried to get up to turn it off. He knew he had to stop this behavior, this coming home in the middle of the night. He knew it was unlike him, but he also knew his reasons for being out weren't exactly innocent. He opened the bedroom door and let out a stifled sigh of relief at her soft hair laying across the pillow, a book on her chest, her eyelashes dancing across her cheeks, her eyes closed in peaceful sleep.

_And next time I come back, love  
Know that it's not really me  
Who's down here with a secret  
That I ain't prepared to keep  
_

Switching off the light and removing the book, he gazed down at her, knowing he would not do this to her or himself again. He loved her too much, and had too much pride to mess up this marriage. He had been blessed with her and the second chance to succeed, and he was determined not to do anything to screw it up.

Undressing, he slid into bed next to her, wrapping his arm around her, sliding close to her warm body. He ran his hand over her bulging mid-section, and took in the sweet smell of her shampoo just as he had wanted to do. She snuggled close, though never waking, and he felt his heart swell at her movement. He made the right choice, he decided. Why confess something that meant nothing? Closing his eyes, he fought to slow his racing heart and to enjoy her next to him.

* * *

Kate woke to the soft sound of snorning next to her, and smiled, happy to know who it was. Rolling to face the man beside, she smiled even bigger at the deep sleep he was in, arm out straight, head tilted back. She watched him, secretly fascinated by what he might be dreaming about. She knew he must be exhausted, not even sure of what time he had made it to bed. But she couldn't help herself as she reached under the covers, touching him, making him sigh. He seized snoring, and she watched his chest rise and fall with faster breathes, knowing he was waking, in more ways than one. She grinned at her work as his eyes fluttered open, a look of pure lust across his face. He turned his head, looking her over, catching sight of her bare shoulders, and the way the sheet touched her skin like silk. Her face was mischevious and he rolled to face her, engulfing her lips in a sweet kiss. She felt her heart race as he touched her, as she ached for him. He grinned devilishly at her and she knew everything was always well worth the wait. She kissed him again, reaching deep within, glad to have him close, glad to have him all to herself.

* * *

Jack hadn't mentioned anything to Kate about Sarah or the kiss since the incident itself, wishing for it to just wash away with the passing days, counting down the days until they were married. He knew his mother was right, and he hadn't mentioned anything to her that might stress her out. Their rings had arrived safely, she had picked a dress she had informed him, and as far as they were both concerned, everything was falling into place. He had transfered the care of Sarah's husband to one of his colleagues, just as his mother had suggested, and he felt as though a large burden were lifted from his shoulders. He had also not told her anything of the midnight visit to his mother's or the close call with the alcohol, he had just made sure to make his meetings at every moment he could. Having people to talk to made it a whole lot easier for him these days.

His office phone rang as he finished dictating and going over paperwork. He was wrapping up for the day, but catching the called ID, smiled to know it was Kate. He picked it up, answering sweetly.

"What are you wearing?" his husky voice came over the reciever, and she laughed, looking over the mail she had just retrieved from the mailbox.

"Nothing," she taunted, hearing him sigh.

"I hate you," he growled and she giggled.

"I love you too." He huffed, and she continued, "Hey there's a large, flat envelope here addressed to you, and I'm going to open it," she told him matter-of-factly. He chuckled, settling.

"Umm okay. Who is it from?" She grew more excited as she read the back of the package.

"Some travel agent," she replied, ripping open the package. He laughed, hearing the tearing paper over the phone.

"Easy, Kate. Don't rip what's inside," he warned, knowing exactly what was in the package. It was too late now for him to try to tell her it was supposed to be a surprise for her on their wedding day, so he simply listened to her opening it.

"It's two plane tickets and a hotel reservation..." she trailed off, looking at the information, "to St. Lucia?" She continued, questioning. He grinned.

"It's our honeymoon, Kate. It was a surprise for you. It's an all inclusive resort, the real way to spend time on a tropical island," he chuckled, continuing, "It's all open ended, with open dates, so we can go whenever you feel comfortable leaving Aaron and the baby. That way there is no rush and no pressure on when we have to go, annd we can go whenever you want." He took the phone away from his ear as she squealed with joy, laughing. "I'm glad you're excited!"

"Excited? Are you kidding?" she exclaimed, jumping up and down in their kitchen. "I can't wait! I want to have the baby now so we can go immediately!" He was glad she was so excited for their trip. "This is so sweet of you, Jack! Thank you so much!" She looked it over again.

"She should have sent a whole packet with tons of stuff for you to read about it, and you can search in on the internet too."

"Yeah, I'm going to read it as soon as we hang up." She calmed down for a moment, re-adjusting the phone. "Really, Jack, I am so thrilled. Thank you so much." He was so good to her, she thought to herself. She rubbed her belly. "Baby says hello," Jack laughed.

"Being rowdy, is it?"

"Oh yes, it's having a party in there, I'm sure of it." She sighed happily. "Ten days, Jack." He could hear the excitement in her voice.

"Almost nine." he replied.

"I cannot wait to be your wife," she grinned ear-to-ear. He loved hearing those words, but knew he would love hearing Kate Shephard even more.

"I cannot wait to be your husband." they sat for a moment in comfortable silence, before she spoke.

"I'm going to spend the night before at your mother's house, I decided. That way we break no rules," she informed him, knowing it was bad luck to spend the night before the wedding together. "I can take Aaron or he can stay with you."

"Okay, we'll talk about it," Jack smiled, loving how into the whole process she was.

"I can't wait to see everyone!"

"I know! Sun and Ji Yeon, Sayid and Nadia, I even got Hurley out of the hospital for the day." He said the last part tentatively, afraid that Hurley would make a scene, but not wanting to upset Kate, he didn't bring it up.

"It's going to be wonderful, Jack. I can't wait!"

* * *

**You guys know what that means the next chapter is... :-D :-D :-D**


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20 "All My Life"

Hi there everyone! I hope many of you have been waiting for this chapter because I know I certainly have been :-) I made a video for this chapter for the wedding scene to the song I envisioned Kate walking down the aisle to (as if a music montage, not actually _for real_ in the story) and it is on YouTube by the name of '"All My Life" A wedding video for Jack and Kate' with my user name as CRose307. Please view it and let me know what you think, I spent a lot of time and research on it, for the best scenes and to make it flow and am very proud of it. Not all the scenes in the video are included in the flashbacks of the scene because some didn't fit, but they fit in the video, so envision it as you will :-) Please listen to the song though as you read the scene :-)

The scene I forgot is the rehearsal dinner scene with all of the other characters from LOST...kinda important but I was too preoccupied Jate-ing and forgot to write it hahaha. Woops...

I used a song from YouTube, from the LOST soundtracks, for the rehearsal dinner. It's called "LOST-Parting and Gathering theme" if you would like to listen to it while you read that scene. I also used 'Jack's theme' for the scene after the Losties reunion, of Kate at Margo's.

To everyone who has reviewed, you are my saviors and I don't think I could continue writing if you did not review. So thank you. I write this because I want to and because I believe you want to read it. Thank you, thank you. Reviews are love! And greatly appreciated too! ;-)

I aimed for this chapter to be a little emotional so please let me know if I succeeded. Thank you, in advance, for the reviews. :-)

AND from what I read online, Jackson really is Jack's full name, btw. :-D

And now, the very anticipated (at least for me haha) wedding chapter!

* * *

Kate stood at the alter, watching their family and friends. People chatted quietly amongst themselves. Aaron sat on Margo's lap, playing silently with his clip-on tie. Sun and Ji Yeon waited in the back, at the end of the long carpet, with Sam Austen, chatting happily. The priest was reading over his scripture and Mark Silverman, Jack's best man, stood across from Kate, smiling respectfully at her, as she gave him a patient smile back as they stood upon the step. She noted everyone's beautiful clothing, the fresh, sea salt air, and how everything about the evening was perfect. Except one thing. One very important peice.

The groom.

Jack had yet to make an appearance and due to that fact, the entire rehearsal sat on hold. The priest checked his watch for the fifteenth time before speaking quietly to Kate.

"Ms Austen, your fiance' is forty-five minutes late. Are you sure he's coming?" He said the last part delicately, though he was visibly annoyed. She looked down the beach in the direction in which he would be coming if he had in fact arrived, and then looked back between the priest and Mark.

"I'm sorry, Father. I don't know why he is late. We can go on without him," she turned to Mark. "Will you be my groom?" She grinned despite her frusteration. Mark visibly checked her out and she rolled her eyes playfully.

"You got it," he winked at her as she turned to their family and friends who had gathered for the rehearsal.

"Unfortunately Jack has chosen today to go MIA on me so Mark is going to stand in for him and hopefully Jack will show for the dinner part." The crowd laughed and Kate proceeded down the aisle to where her father stood with Sun, her maid of honor, and Ji Yeon, their flower girl. Aaron followed, as he would be the ring-bearer, though Kate had yet to see the rings Jack supposed ordered. When she reached her father, Sam queezed her hand, smiling at her.

"I'm sure he'll come, Katie." He assured her, kissing her forehead. She grinned, proceeding to where they would begin. Ji Yeon went first, followed by little Aaron, then Sun. Kate and her father began down the aisle last and Kate laughed to herself as she continued, looking at Mark, who stood in Jack's place. She reminded herself to humiliate Jack at dinner. "_If he shows,_" she stressed to herself, feeling a sense of slight panic.

As everyone reached their positions, Kate moved to stand across from Mark on the step of the alter, and grasped his hands, as he gave her a playful wink. As the priest ran over the acts of the ceremony, Kate found herself still feeling as though this weren't real, like it was all really just a dream, and she would soon wake and it would all dissapear. The priest interupted her thoughts.

"Of course, Ms. Austen, you will be looking at Jack, presuming that Jack is here tomorrow." Everyone laughed and Kate felt her face flush with embarassment as she realized she hadn't been looking at Mark. "This is the part where you two would exchange rings and then kiss-" he was interupted by Aaron.

"Daddy's coming!" The little boy exclaimed as everyone looked down the beach. Kate, however, was caught in the moment as she looked down at her young son, and realized he had never called Jack that. It had always been "Jack" or "Daddy Jack," but never just "Daddy". She felt a tear as everyone laughed at the very late husband-to-be as he made his way quickly up the aisle, visibly embarrassed and winded.

"Get your hands off my wife, Silverman," Jack warned playfully as Mark put his hands up in a fake defense, retreating back to his original spot. The crowd chuckled at Jack as he took his place by Kate, Aaron running up to hug Jack's leg. Jack rubbed his back for a moment before the little boy moved back by Ji Yeon. Jack and Kate embraced hands.

"So nice of you to come," she greeted quietly, a smirk across her pretty features,"You better have a good excuse." She squeezed his soft hands and took in his handsome features, how good he looked in his white button down shirt and light khaki linen pants, giggling a little at his flip flops.

"Oh, I do," he winked. The priest continued his explanation of the ceremony, looking expectantly at Jack when he asked about the rings. "I have the rings," the mischievous groom replied, never reaching for them. As they finished teir rehearsal, everyone began getting up and moving down the secluded beach to their cars, all to reconviene at the restuarant of the rehearsal dinner itself. Kate looked at Jack expectantly as he picked Aaron up. The little child snuggled into Jack's chest, helping Kate forgive him for being almost an hour late to the practice run of his own wedding. She still wanted to know as they strolled down the beach, however, why exactly he had been so late.

"So?" she inquired. He just grinned. "Are you going to tell me why you almost didn't make it? I almost had to marry Mark," she jested, her hands clasping under her hard mound of a belly.

"You'll see," was all he said as they came to the parking lot. Kate took a moment to stop, briefly looking out over the sparkling water, the sun setting against it, and thought of how when they were on the Island, she had never stopped and taken the time to appreciate things of such beauty. And then for another moment, she somberly remembered a man she had known there, one she would never know the fate of.

Jack stopped, watching her. She looked beautiful in her pale blue dress, her hair piled neatly on her small head, her curls flowing down over her soft makeup. He wondered what she might be thinking and for a moment felt a pang, assuming he might know. But when she turned, the bright, loving smile she gave washed any doubt or concern he had away. Clasping his hand, she walked them to her Volvo, grinning as Jack slid Aaron into his car seat. As she waited patiently for him to do so, appreciating his help, he became increasingly concerned as she looked around the parking lot.

"Hey Jack," she began, "where is your truck?" she asked curiously. His grin got bigger, if at all possible. She gave him a puzzled look.

"It's over there," he replied, waving his hand in a direction. She looked, not sure what he was talking about.

"Jack, your Ford isn't over there," She stared at him as he shut the back door, moving toward her.

"I don't have a Ford," he said slowly, as if not understanding her. She gave him an incredulous look.

"Jack, what are you talking about?" She demanded, growing angry with his sudden need to be vague and the mischevious look dancing in his eyes. "Did you get in a wreck? Is that why you were late?" she questioned impatiently. He kept smiling, reaching in his linen pocket and pulling out a set of keys, handing them to her. She looked down at them, confused. "Jack, these aren't-" she stopped as she realized that she held a pair of Chevrolet keys. She looked around, as Jack leaned against her car, arms crossed, entertained as she searched for the machine that used the new black keys. She hit the alarm button and jumped when it rang out next to her. She turned to spy a large and shiny black Chevrolet Tahoe. She stopped the alarm, looking at Jack. "Is this..." she trailed off, looking between him and the vehicle. He walked to her, hands in his pockets, smiling.

"Don't let anyone ever tell you buying a car is easy, it's frusterating as hell!" he quipped, taking the keys from her, unlocking it, and allowing her to view the inside. "Congratulations, Mama. This car is our new, safe, baby mobile. It has all the latest bells and whistles, with dvd playes behind the seats for the kids, and a state of the art safety system. Everything you could ever ask for." He winked at her. "And it rides like a cloud," he laughed, referancing her biggest irriation with his old car-that it wasn't comfortable.

"Jack, it's beautiful! Could we really afford it?" She knew that they weren't hurting for money by any means but still felt like this was a large expense to be adding to their budget with a baby on the way. He nodded though.

"I got a great deal on it, and made sure it was a responsible move. I wanted to surprise you. Consider it a wedding gift," he grinned, opening the driver's side door for her. "Drive it to the restuarant, it's pretty sweet," he laughed, ushering her into the large car. With an ear-to-ear smile, she shut the door, turning the truck on, and rolling down the window.

"You may not get it back," she taunted, putting in the car in reverse. He watched, finding her extremely attractive in control of such a large vehicle. He gave her a wink and laughed.

"I'm not worried."

* * *

They entered the room and were overcome as they saw their most dearest friends waiting for them. Sayid and Nadia were the first two they saw, who moved to them quickly, engulfing them in hugs. They had not seen Sayid since their return to the main land, however hearing he had indeed married Nadia made them very happy for him.

"Sayid! It's so great to see you!" Kate exclaimed, hugging him. He held her tightly, feeling the same.

"Kate! Congratulations to you and Jack on your wedding, and of course the baby!" He leaned back, kissing her cheek, before hugging Jack. Nadia and Kate embraced, having not known each other long, but still feeling a connection all the same. Hurley made his way toward them, embracing Kate first, who squeezed him tightly.

"Oh Hurley, I'm so glad you could come!"

"Dude, of course I'd be here! Hey there, Aaron!" Releasing her, he embraced Aaron, who didn't know who he was. Kate laughed at the frightened child and explained to him that Hurley had known them when he was a baby, going way back. Aaron seemed to accept this answer, hugging the large man back sweetly. Jack patted Hurley's back, appreciating his presence there at their wedding. Sun moved to the group as well, Sayid and Nadia meeting Ji Yeon and embracing Sun. Hurley put Aaron down, embracing the tiny Korean child as well, who hugged him back as Aaron had, unsure, but accepting. Sun and Kate hugged, and Kate thanked her for being part of her wedding.

"I wouldn't have missed it." The woman replied, cupping Kate's face. "I am so happy for you both." Kate thought she saw a distant spot of sadness in Sun's eyes, presumably as she thought of Jin, but it dissapeared quickly as a Scottish voice came over the reminising crowd.

"Aye, there! I hear there is to be a wedding tomorrow!" exclaimed Desmond, shocking the group, as they had not been expecting him and Penny. A little boy towed behind them, and Jack and Kate were delighted at their surprise guests.

"Desmond!" Jack moved to the man, shaking his hand and giving him a half-hug. The man patted Jack's back and Kate and Penny caught up for a moment, introducing Aaron and Charlie. Desmond then moved to Kate, hugging her, complimenting her, telling her how they wouldn't miss her and Jack's wedding for anything. There was something so right about them all coming together over a joyous occasion. And at the same time, it seemed they silently mourned those who didn't make it back to be with them now, as if not only was it a wedding but a memorial as well. A happy one, however, as no one felt it was the right moment for a sad thought, everyone glad they were where they were at that moment, and not somewhere else.

* * *

Kate sat on the guest bed at Margo's house, thinking about the coming day. The house was still, the room quiet. Though she knew the next day would be a long one, the day of her wedding, she was unable to sleep. She was curious of what their life would be like after they said those words, after they pledged themselves to each other for eternity. She was not afraid, nor very nervous, but something inside her was preventing her from the sleep she knew she should be getting. Sitting on the bed in her pajamas, she looked through a photo album of Jack's childhood all the way up until he graduated from medical school, pictures of him playing little league, at birthdays, playing football in college. She felt there were so many things she didn't know about him and yet, she also felt as thought she knew everything.

She thought back to the rehearsal dinner, to the speech he had given, talking about her. She appreciated that he had chosen not to re-hash the lie they had told the world, and gave a small, more romantic version of their lives on the island, a more realistic one.

"_I met Kate the day we crashed on the Island. She was an angel in my moment of need. She helped me, took care of me, even sewed up a wound in my side with a sewing kit,"_ the crowd laughed, _"We were immediately attracted to one another, almost as if because of our need for someone to help the other, someone to lean on. But that grew, each and every day, as we got to know each other, and I knew that my life would never be the same after meeting Kate Austin. I was drawn to her in ways you only read about. And it was hard there, really hard, but together, we made it through. And Aaron...he has been in my life so long I feel as though he is my own. He has grown into a wonderful child and Kate is the cause of that. I love her, so much. She accepts, forgives, loves, and understands unconditionally. I cannot wait to become her husband tomorrow. I love you, Katie."_ He had then leaned down and kissed her, kissing her tears away. She felt so blessed to have him, and yet felt so deserving of him.

Starring at her wedding dress hanging from the closet door, it all began to feel a little more real. Tomorrow she would walk down the aisle and hold his hands, and become his wife, and it seemed as though, everything they had been through, through all the trials and tribulations, that this was where they had been meant to end up all along. The journey had indeed been a long one, but they were there, and tomorrow, it would all happen.

Laying her head back on the pillow, climbing under the covers, she imagined their honeymoon. She couldn't wait for any of it: tomorrow, the honeymoon, the baby. Closing her eyes, she counted to five, almost as if in homage to their first meeting, and soon after drifted to sleep, praying morning came quickly.

* * *

Kate stood at the end of the long carpet, inside the beach clubhouse, and felt as though she were suddenly going to throw up. Starring at herself in the mirror, she looked amazing in her dress, her baby bump somewhat hidden by the fabric, her hair curly, half pinned on top of her head, half hanging down softly against her shoulders, a small white lily in her hair. She starred longer, wondering if Jack would think she looked beautiful. "_Of course he will, he's about to marry you," _she told herself, rolling her eyes in the mirror. She felt her father's presence and turned to face him, smiling.

"Oh, Katie, you look so beautiful," he spoke, and Kate could see a tear in his eye. She smiled, moving to him. "I remember when you were so little I could hold you in my arms and you were just as wide as my forearm." She laughed a little. "I am so proud of you. For everything. That little boy out there is so polite and charming, and it's all you. Everything you touch turns to gold, Katie." She laughed at that.

"It didn't always use to be that way, Dad," she spoke truthfully.

"But it is now. Jack is a great man who will be able to take care of you through everything. You, Aaron, and the baby. I am so happy for you, Kate." He kissed her forehead and she felt her nerves eased a little. "Are you ready?" he asked, grasping her hand. She looked in the mirror.

"More than ever," she replied with a big smile, as they moved for the door. As she stepped out into the sun, she first noticed their family and friends, a small group of 50 or so, standing to greet her. They stood for a moment at the end of the carpet, watching as Aaron made it to his place by Jack, and Sun moved down the aisle after him. It was then, that she laid her eyes on him, and her breath caught in her throat. His tuxedo was a beige color, which contrasted with Mark's black one, and the shirt he wore underneath was pale blue. His eyes were focused on her, a bright smile lighting his face, as if he were taking her in all the same. She felt her heart swell as she looked up at him, as if everything were right with the world, and that time had stopped to preserve this moment. Her mind flashed to another time, a memory, of them...

_"I might throw up on you." she spoke, nauseous. _

_"You're doing fine." he grinned a little, shaking his head, speaking through the pain. _

_"You don't seem afraid at all. I don't understand that."_

_"Well, fear's sort of an odd thing. When I was in residency my first solo procedure was a spinal surgery on a 16 year old kid, a girl. And at the end, after 13 hours, I was closing her up and I, I accidentally ripped her dural sac, shredded the base of the spine where all the nerves come together, membrane as thin as tissue. And so it ripped open and the nerves just spilled out of her like angel hair pasta, spinal fluid flowing out of her and I: and the terror was just so crazy. So real. And I knew I had to deal with it," a tear rolled down his cheek, "So I just made a choice. I'd let the fear in, let it take over, let it do its thing, but only for 5 seconds, that's all I was going to give it. So I started to count, __**1...2...3...4...5. **__Then it was gone. I went back to work, sewed her up and she was fine. "_

_"If that had been me, I think I would have run for the door."_

_"No, I don't think that's true. You're not running now."_

Kate counted to five again, whispering them, as if they were meant to cross over the crowd to his ears, as if they were meant just for him.

Jack peered at Kate, watching her walk slowly toward him on her father's arm. She looked amazing in her white gown, glowing, illuminating in the setting sun. The last time he had stood there, he hadn't felt the same-he had felt as though he were doing the right thing, but not the right thing for _him_. He had known Sarah wasn't right for him, but at the time he hadn't known how to express it. But now, watching Kate walk toward him, he realized he had always known it was supposed to be Kate. The night she had introduced herself to him, the evening after she had sewn him up, he knew he had felt drawn to her, not only because she was beautiful, it had been something else...

_"I don't know your name." _

_"I'm Kate." she seemed bashful._

_"Jack." _

As Kate neared him, she thought back to the moment in the caves, when she had thought she had lost him. The a hole had caved in on him and she had dug and dug to get him out, moving large rocks and debris, hoping to find him alive. She could still feel the relief that had washed over her as he had walked around the corner with Charlie, holding his injured arm, and the unimaginable happiness that shot through her as she ran to him, embracing him. The fear she'd had at the thought of having to go on without him-she shook away the thoughts. Another thought came to her mind in return, of a moment in the parking garage behind the courthouse, a moment when he felt she had gained what she had almost lost in that cave.

_"I just...I just wanted to tell you that what I said in there...I didn't mean it."_

After he had found out that Aaron was his nephew, he had been raked with guilt, unable to see the small boy for the pain he felt over not having brought back Claire. She hadn't seen him in over a year when he showed up to testify at her trial. She could still recall the grief and angst she had felt when he had told the jury that he no longer loved her, the devastation and defeat she had felt. But then he had shocked her in the garage, reappearing into her life to tell her it hadn't been true. The joy had been unmatchable by anything until he had become a part of their lives once more, changing his mind about helping her raise Aaron, allowing them to be together.

Kate felt as though she were floating on her way to him, her white sandals barely touching the ground. She knew that feeling, she had felt it the first time she had kissed him, in the jungle, after she had run from the hatch. The way their lips had connected, the electric shock that had shot through them, that had sent her running away, unable to deal with how all their angst had turned into an amazingly sensual experience, leaving them both reeling...

_"Kate, what the hell are you doing out here? What happened in the hatch, Kate? Why'd you leave? I come back - I find Sawyer just lying on the ground. You just took off..." he was angry. _

_"Is he okay?" she asked, concern across her face._

_"Yes, Kate, he's fine." he replied, exasperated. _

_"I'm sorry." She stood to move away from him, he followed her._

_"Are you?"_

_"Yeah, I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I am not as perfect as you. I'm sorry that I'm not as good." She lashed out at him._

_"Okay, what's going on with you?" he put his hands up in defense as she began to move away again._

_"Just forget it." she snapped. He grabbed her arm._

_"No, don't walk away from me." She struggled to get free, as he struggled to keep hold of her._

_"Let go of me. Just..."_

_"No. Kate." he pulled her to him, "Kate, Kate, Kate." he repeated her name, trying to calm her, to make her listen. _

_"Don't! I've got..." tears began to slide down her face, as she became frusterated and upset._

_"It's okay. It's okay." he held her, trying to erase her pain._

_"Please, this place is crazy - it's just - I can't - it's driving me nuts." she sobbed._

_"I know. It's okay. It's alright. It's alright." Holding her at arms length, he searched her face, searching for a reason to her madness, as she searched his eyes back, before grabbing hold of his face softly and crashing her lips into his, shocking him with a passionate kiss. For a moment it seemed time had stopped, before she pulled back, confused, and running off into the jungle, leaving him behind her, calling to her, not understanding what had just happened. _

Jack thought back to their first kiss, the kiss that had shown him what love really felt like, recognising it, and still unable to tell her. He thought of how she had apologized. For kissing him. And how he had told her he was not sorry, wanting to say more, wanting to kiss her again, claiming her as his, expressing the feelings he continued to repress...

_"I'm sorry I kissed you." she said quietly, sheepishly, almost ashamed. He waited a long pause, contemplating his words, making sure to say the right thing._

_"I'm not."_

As Kate reached him, he watched her father kiss her cheek, a tear escaping his eyes as she hugged him. He knew it meant everything to her that Sam had accepted her back into his life. She moved to him, handing her bouquet to Sun, who gave a proud smile. He grapsed her hands, and had one last flash, recalling the moment in his life where he had felt the most volunerable, making the biggest confession, especially considering he had referanced the one man he would have never wanted to share her with, already knowing he had...

_"He didn't mean it, you know." _

_"What?" _

_"Sawyer. When he said that he didn't want you to go with him, he didn't mean it." _

_"If he didn't mean it, why'd he say it?" _

_"He was trying to protect you. That's why I asked you not to come back for me." _

_"Hey! Why are you sticking up for Sawyer, he'd never do it for you." _

_"Because I love you." _

Kate felt an elated smile cross her face as she stared into the man she loved. He gazed at her with such warmth that it made her heart still and yet race at the same time. And it rocked her to her core.

As the preist began, she suddenly felt how real it all was, how suddenly they would be together, connected forever, not only by the rings they would wear, or the vows they would make but by the bay she carried that they had created. Together.

"Friends, we have been invited here today to share with Jackson Shephard and Katherine Austen a very important moment in their lives. In the years they have been together, their love and understanding of each other has grown and matured, and now they have decided to live their lives together as husband and wife." The smiled at each other lovingly as the preist continued. They listened quietly as he read 1Corinthians 13, a verse they had picked to be read as they felt it reflected on their time together, and their moments of hardship and love, "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails." A silent tear rolled down Kate's cheek as she stared into Jack's eyes and he smiled sweetly, encouraging it away.

"Jack, your vows." He had practiced them, and knew them by heart, as they were perfect. No need to personalize them anymore than with names.

"I, Jackson, take you, Katherine, to be my beloved wife, to have and to hold you, to honor you, to treasure you, to be at your side in sorrow and in joy, in the good times, and in the bad, and to love and cherish you always. I promise you this from my heart, for all the days of my life."

"I, Katherine, take you, Jackson, to be my beloved husband, to have and to hold you, to honor you, to treasure you, to be at your side in sorrow and in joy, in the good times, and in the bad, and to love and cherish you always. I promise you this from my heart, for all the days of my life." More tears escaped Kate's eyes, as she tried to rein in her emotions. It was all so real.

"The rings, please," the preist grinned down at Aaron, who in a practiced motion, pulled out the little box containing their weddings rings. The preist opened the box, handing Kate's ring to Jack. She peered at it, amazed at the beauty of the tiny platinum band encircled by small diamonds, as he placed it before her finger, reciting more wonderful words to her.

"This ring is a token of my love. I marry you with this ring, with all that I have and all that I am." He slid the ring over her finger, his eyes never leaving hers, and then kissing the hand he placed the ring on, as if sealing an envelope with a kiss. She giggled a little, taking his ring and placing it before his finger, reciting the same phrase,

"This ring is a token of my love. I marry you with this ring, with all that I have and all that I am."

"By the power vested in me by the State of California, I now pronounce you husband and wife." Jack pulled her to him, engulfing her, kissing her passionately as their friends all 'awwed' before them. The kiss sealed everything they were, everything they had just become, and everything they would be. How right this journey had become, how solid their lives now were. When they seperated, Jack brushed another tear from her cheek, grinning as he had when she had said 'yes' to his proposal. As much as he had wanted to marry her, there had been a fear in him as he had made that leap. But now he knew for sure, she was what he wanted everyday for the rest of his life.

"I present to you Mr. and Mrs. Doctor Jackson Shephard." Their friends and family cheered as they turned to the crowd.

Jack picked up Aaron and the two embraced the little child. He squealed between them, not knowing exactly what their union meant but excited he was in the middle of it. They both whispered, "I love you," to the little boy, who replied with a candid, "I wuv you Mommy and Daddy." Kate caught Jack's eye, and knew at that moment, that was what he needed to complete this day, this union. She caught a tear escaping his eye as he kissed the little boy who was now as much his son as his nephew. Placing him down, Aaron grabbed Ji Yeon's hand and began down the aisle with her, followed by Sun and Mark, then Sam and Margo, then finally Jack and Kate. Kate finally felt complete, as though a dream had come true.

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I really, really hoped you enjoyed that chapter. Please let me know what you think. Reviews are greatly appreciated. And please be sure to watch the video :-) It's my first one, so be nice. Thank you again for reading my story.

Now let's look foreward to the birth... :-D


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21

Hi everyone! Thank you SOO much for the reviews and for voting on my poll! I am very excited about the upcoming chapters, and though work is getting crazy the next couple of weeks, I am going to try to stick by my 'two chapters a week' mentality, since I know you all look foreward to reading, and because it gives me a chance to detach from the real world for a bit ;-) I am loving this story 3

Now this is one of two or three bridge chapters that will take us from the wedding to the birth of dear Jaby. (!) I am VERY excited about the birth scene and I hope you all will be too! I have had it in my head since before I knew what the wedding would be and I can truly tell you I am more excited about the birth than I was the wedding. I hope it comes out that way when I write it. *fingers crossed*

Now, if you do recall, there are some issues that I have yet to cover (ie pills, Cassidy, Sarah kissing Jack, etc) and I promise you I have not forgotten! We also haven't visited any AA meetings lately, or spent much time with Aaron, so my plan is to cover those too. Annnd I'm fresh off four episodes of Party of Five and I have some really good 'Daddy Jack' stuff in my head! That freakin Owen is sooo cute! Gave me some GREAT material to work with.

So that allll being said, I have closed my poll (because the general answer was to make her have this baby haha) and then we shall see where it all goes from then, and honestly, I can tell you I have no idea where that'll be :-) Any ideas are appreciated, I do have a few good ones already but I haven't made my final decision.

Kate: if you go to YouTube and and in the search bar, type in 'jack and kate wedding' is should appear. The URL is .com/watch?v=ZIZiorTXoA0. Please let me know what you think of it :-) My username is CRose307 in case you need that too. Thanks again for your review!

P: I like your idea and may use part of it...we'll see ;-) thank you!

Baby Jate is on the way... ;-)

Okay, enough's enough, on to the chapter!

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Kate eased her pregnant body down onto the couch, struggling to remember what it was like to move around easily without aches, pain, and feeling like she was the size of a whale. Truth be told, she was all belly, but that belly wasn't small. And at almost 8 months pregnant, there wasn't much moving around she felt like doing.

Settling into the cushions and sipping her tea, she thought back to their wedding. They had been married almost two months and she was so enjoying married life. Not too much had changed as far as their lives went but there was something so solid, so real about being married, versus engaged. She felt so secure in her life now, like a weight had been lifted and she would never again have to worry about being alone.

She wondered it would be like when the baby was born. Before, when she'd had Aaron all by herself, things had been difficult for her, having never raised a child before and having no child-rearing skills. There had been a lot of sleepless nights, and a lot of crying she did herself, just trying to get through. She had questioned herself a few times, wondering if she had done the right thing. And those times helped ease her anxiety a little at having an infant of her own, having raised one already. In her heart, it was the birthing experience that paniced her the most.

She and Jack had decided she would deliver naturally, baring any complications, but she wanted an epidural badly. Jack ran the risks with her about it but she was determined, knowing that trying to push something that size out was a type of pain she was unwilling to experience. Jack had teased her, telling her that if they were on the Island, she would have no choice, and told her that she seemed to be a softer version of the Kate she had been on the Island. She laughed it off, saying it had changed her, but in her mind, for the better. She was still a tough woman, but a woman none the less. If he had seen what Claire went through, he would know why she couldn't do it without an epidural.

She giggled to herself a little as she felt her baby swimming around inside. It had been kicking and swimming up a storm the last month or so. Whenever Jack was around her, his hand was on her stomach, feeling for its movements, or he was talking to her stomach, telling the baby all about its life to come. Aaron had even gotten in the habit of talking to the baby, telling it whatever he thought it should know about what it will be like when it comes out. She smiled, recalling a recent conversation between Aaron and the baby a few days before, while she, Jack, and Aaron had been sitting on the couch after dinner.

_"Hey, baby," he patted Kate's stomach softly as she and Jack looked on, adoring the child. "I can't wait til you come out. I had roni's and cheese tonight for dinner, and I think you will like it. It's very good. And now we're going to watch a movie. It's 'Lion King' in case you wanna know because I know you can't see it." He layed his head on Kate's belly and she covered her mouth in awe, as he rubbed the part of her belly next to his head. "I can't wait to meet you, baby. We're gonna have lots of fun." She felt a tear escape and Jack gave her hand a firm squeeze. Aaron gave her belly a kiss and then looked expectantly at them. "Baby said its time to put the movie on." _

They had laughed almost incredulously at his adorable nature, and knew that the transition from baby to big brother had almost come full circle for Aaron. He told everyone about the new baby, telling of the sister he hoped to have, and how he wanted to name it Ducky. They didn't know how they were going t break it to him that if it was a girl, they would be unable to name it Ducky. They figured they'd let him believe it for a while and then see what happened when it came out.

Jack sat down next to her, wrapping a strong arm around her shoulders, pulling her close to him, kissing her forehead. He smelled of soap and aftershave, and she inhaled his fresh scent and relished the feeling of his strong arm around her. He had been working as little as possible, worried for her as the baby grew. They didn't have too much reason to worry, other than the fact that she was getting close to the 20 pound line and he was worried about her back with carrying the weight, and worried about the baby growing too big for her. Most of the time nature controls these things, her doctor had explained, but sometimes, if the baby is too big for the womb carrying it then she may go into premature labor or the placenta could rupture, endangering the life of the baby and her's as well. She was getting tired of his constant hovering and the way he had taken away a lot of her daily duties. However, she knew he was only doing it because he loved her and wanted her and the baby to be safe and sound.

"How are you feeling?" he questioned, searching her face. Sometimes she preferred his doctor's manor to his fatherly one.

"I'm fine, you asked me that an hour ago," she sigh, laughing. "I'm not glass."

"I know, but if you fell or something..."

"Do I look like I fall a lot?" she looked at him expectantly, wondering what he thought she was. He shrugged.

"Well, no, but you're heavier than you used to be and I just worry..." She put a finger to his lips, shushing him.

"Jack, I swear, I'm fine. And I will not fall down." She paused, then continued, "Though if I did fall down, it would be pretty entertaining," she laughed. He chuckled, only slightly amused.

"You laugh but when that baby comes roaring out because you tripped, I don't wanna hear it," he warned, kissing her nose. He was so full of it sometimes, she thought.

"I'll be careful Dr. Shephard," she teased, leaning into his warm chest. "Did Aaron go right to sleep?"

"Yeah, for the most part. I had to read "The Christmas Mouse" three times though. I think we should hide that, since it's not Christmas anymore," he laughed.

"I know, but he loves it so much."

"Maybe too much," he suggested. "So, I've been thinking about names lately, and I figure we should probably start the process of picking one." They had discussed names for a while, but they were no where near having one chosen for when the baby was born.

"Hmm...what are you thinking?" She asked curiously, shifting to face him more. He looked very thoughtful.

"Well, Claire comes to mind in honor of her, but I don't know if I like it that much. I really enjoy Bailey, or Anne for a girl. Avery is pretty too."

"Those are good. Clair makes me uncomfortable, I dont think I'm ready for that yet. I do like Bailey. What about something fun, like Felicity or Brooke?" She sipped her tea, feeling like she had picked good ones. His face let her know he didn't really agree.

"Ehhh, Felicity Shephard just doesn't sound right to me. I don't love Brooke. What about a boy's name?"

"Well, there's always Jackson Junior," She giggled as he turned his nose up.

"Umm, I don't think so. What about Parker? Or Carter?" He asked, "Or maybe Joseph?"

"I'm not sure..I think I like Parker. Parker Christian Shephard sounds like a good one. What do you think?" He seemed to contemplate it for a moment, she having used his father's name as the middle name, seemingly in honor of a man he wasn't sure deserved to be honored. But it did have a nice ring to it.

"I think I like it, actually. It has a nice sound to it and it'll be a good one to yell when he's in trouble," they both chuckled, thinking ahead in time to when their children will be up to no good, as most kids go through that phase at least once in their lives. "This girl name thing is harder though," he took a deep breathe, thinking harder for one he liked. "What about Sonora? Or Jensen?" She wrinkled her face at him, shaking her head.

"No. What about Amelia? And we could call her Emmy for short?" He stuck his tongue out in dislike.

"Clearly we cannot agree. Maybe we're not ready to pick a girl's name. Or maybe its a boy and this is fate's way of telling us it's a boy." He seemed excited at the prospect of another boy. She laughed, pushing him a little.

"Or maybe we just suck at name picking," she reasoned, causing an agreeing shrug from him, followed by a 'probably'. They laughed for a moment, before she snuggled up close to him, feeling his warmth. He wrapped his arms around her, resting his head on her's. "I can't wait until it's finally here," she whispered with a sigh. He smiled against her soft curls.

"Me too. I can't wait to hold it." She nodded against him.

"I just hope everything goes okay, and its healthy with all its little fingers and toes," she smiled at the thought, both sets of hands roaming to the belly where their baby lay, feeling it kicking against their palms.

* * *

Jack folded the laundry in the basement, enjoying the silence and the chill of the underground room. Kate had long drifted off to sleep on the couch, her new sleeping place due to the umcomfortableness of her belly and the bed, and also because of her fear of rolling on her stomach and crushing the baby. She had woken up a few times on her stomach and had become upset, worried she had hurt it or crushed it, and he would comfort her and explain that it was alright. However, he understood her need to feel safe on the couch, so he allowed it, always checking on her every couple of hours though.

He had been feeling stressed recently, as most new fathers do, worrying about the birth, and the baby, and all the complications that could happen. He was struggling with now letting Kate see these things, knowing she would then in turn worry about him, which was the last thing he wanted. He just wanted the baby to make it into this world safe and sound, and for Kate to be healthy too. Taking a deep breath, he stilled in his towel folding, leaning his back against the dryer. Rubbing his face, he sighed. He was having a hard time finding a way to relieve his stress. He had been running, and going to the gym, which helped a little and resulted in a more fit body, but didn't always stop his obsessing. He knew that was all it was, obsessing. Obesession with things that were out of his control, things he couldn't _fix. _But he wanted control, wanted to fix them, and that was his struggle.

He turned back to the laundry basket, picking it up and carrying it up the stairs. He had the internal fight everyday over the kiss he had shared with Sarah, the pill bottle Kate had found, and wanted so badly to tell her the truth. She never asked, always trusted, and he felt bad because he knew he wouldn't be able to give that to her if she knew those things about him. He stopped over her sleeping form, watching her as she took breaths in and let them out, in a deep, peaceful sleep. She looked so innocent lying there, covered in the soft blanket. He knew he couldn't tell her about Sarah, it would devastate her. Even though it didn't mean anything to him, and he hadn't even kissed her back. He knew Kate, and it was the last thing he could tell her about. On the other hand though, it defeated the vows they had made to each other. He struggled in his head to decide the right thing to do as he made his way up the stairs to their bedroom. Putting the laundry away in their linen closet, he turned off the light and undressed, laying down, alone, in their king sized bed. He reached for the place she would lay and, though he felt comforted she was just downstairs, he worried momentarily there might be a day when she wasn't just downstairs, but somewhere else, without him. Sighing, he closed his eyes, and willed sleep to come, knowing if it didn't, he would have to worry again about what he might do to induce it and wash the worries from his mind.

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Okay guys, not the longest chapter ever, but we're getting there... ;-) Please let me know what you're thinking...I still haven't decided the sex of the baby, hoping to be swayed one way or another. hint hint :-P


	22. Chapter 22

**Chapter 22**

*****Hi everyone! It's been a few days, I know, but this chapter gave me a hard time. Thank you for your patience. Hopefully it turned out well. I decided to make this the final bridge chapter to baby Jate so lets see what happens :-)**

**There are a few reviews I want to respond to before I continue:**

**Sara: Thank you for enjoying that line :-) It was one of my favorites.**

**Amy: I did like Sydney too, but in respect to Athena Alexandria, I chose not to use it. As for Claire, so many people use that one too I want to use an original one. I didn't like any of the ones I had them suggest either :-P Except for Parker Christian, admittedly I do like that one ;-)**

**Kate: I love Katherine Elizabeth Shephard. Great choice, I struggle a little though with it being Kate's name already. We'll see, I suppose, since I still haven't decided on the baby yet :-X**

**lostindallas62: I love your description of a little girl! Hmm...**

**onlyhuman423: The reason I chose to use Jackson as Jack's full name was because I like the way it sounded in the ceremony, and I was struggling with Jack as his full name. I know it's not totally canon to the show (now) but I really liked it. I hope it didn't offend you, I'm sorry if it did.**

**WhiteRose621: Part of me wants it to be a little girl because I love the idea of Jack holding a little bundle in a pink blanket, and the way he would dote on a girl, and protect her. But I do feel like many stories have them having a little girl, that I may break the mold with a boy. Ehhhh I don't know yet, haven't decided :-X**

**alexis: Sarah kissed Jack actually and he walked away. He kissed Gabriella in Season 1 or 2 in the episode where he operated on the old man and he ended up dying. They kissed each other, I guess, which is part of where I got the idea for kiss between Sarah and Jack. I do agree it is a bit out of character for him, but we all sometimes do things a big out of character. I needed angst :-P And thats where I got it.**

**ReadingRed: You may have inspired me to make it a boy with that review! ;-)**

**Shanna: I hope you're okay with some Jate angst...things would get boring I think if there wasn't any...right?**

**Bettakappa: I hope Jack calms down too...I think Kate would feel the same :-P**

**P: I'm going to try to find an A name no matter what because I like that kind of trend, but it's been hard haha.**

**onetreefan: thank you for your loyal reviews! I haven't decided yet, let's see...**

**So, thank you all SOOO much for your reviews, I really enjoy reading them and get lots of ideas from them. I hope I do not dissapoint anyone with the sex of the baby. :-X I would feel terrible. Hang in there, we shall find out soon. Thank you all for being supportive and for your input. I really appreciate each and every review and idea. I've got some good stuff in the works, don't you worry.**

**Okay, on to the chapter because I know you guys would rather read that than my ramblings ;-) But thank you for listening anyway hehe *****

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*A few days after chapter 21*

"Thank you so much for taking me out to dinner, Jack. I've been feeling too couped up in that house lately," Kate smiled sweetly at Jack over the candle-lit table, squeezing his hand. "And thanks to your mother for watching Aaron." He kissed the top of her hand.

"It's the least I can do. In a little over a month you'll be having our baby, I'm pretty sure nothing I do compares to that," he chuckled, watching her eyes dance in the light. She had this significant glow to her recently, as her belly grew, and he loved seeing her that way. He found her so beautiful in her pregnant state.

"You're sweet." She grinned shyly, the way he was watching her making her feel nervous. Sometimes he still had that effect on her, of making her feel as though she were the only one in a room, the only one he could see. Most of the time, in fact. "Our last appointment is on Monday, and then it'll be four weeks, and she'll check me one more time while we wait for me to go into labor," she gave him a scared, yet hopeful look. "I hope it doesn't stay in there over my due date, I'm nervous about going over and the doctor having to induce me," she bit her lip, and he noticed how adorable she was.

"It'll be fine, Kate. Women go over their due dates all the time. They won't let you go past a week. Besides, your body knows what to do, even though you don't. It's made to have a baby. It'll know when it's ready, and so will baby." Squeezing her hand, he added, "It'll be here before you know it."

"I hope so, I can't wait." She smiled wildly at the thought. "I'm so glad your here with me for it this time. With Aaron, I was so afraid. I had no idea what I was doing." She laughed at the rememberance. He looked down, clearing his throat, still struggling with the fact that he hadn't been there for her during that time, still struggling over his guilt that he had left Claire, Jin and everyone else behind.

"I'm sorry about that, Kate. I really am. I wish I had been here for you then," his cheeks had reddened and she felt as though he were embarassed, or maybe upset by it. She shook her head emphatically.

"Don't be sorry. You're here now, and this is our baby. It's a completely different experience. Scarier, in fact," She giggled. "I wouldn't change anything about what happened. We're together now, that's what matters to me."

"And Aaron is an amazing child. You did a great job by yourself." They shared a moment of silence between them, before the waiter interupted them, carrying their food. They seperated hands, a silent end to the conversation. Jack raised his eyebrows at her ravioli dish. The halfmoon shaped stuffed pasta bits were covered in a sea of white cream sauce.

"What is that?" He asked accusingly. He had been encouraging her to eat healthy since she had become pregnant, but she craved things like ice cream, pizza, and pasta, and it had become a battle in the later months.

"Three cheese ravioli," she grinned mischeviously as she ate her first piece. "Mmmm, so good," she moaned, closed her eyes, enjoying the taste, as if in spite of Jack's dissaproving glance. He shook his head, cuting his steak.

"You're terrible," he chuckled as he watched her enjoy her next piece, secretly loving every bit of her adorable demeanor over her cheesy entree. "So, what do you think of Andrew for a boy?"

* * *

"So you're taking him to the beach?" Kate asked again, watching Jack pack their new SUV full of new beach toys. She was leaning against the hood of her Volvo in a light spring dress, laughing at her husband as he piled un-necessary objects into the trunk of their Tahoe.

"Yes, and then out for ice cream," he answered, surveying his inventory, before removing the extra chair and their bocci set. "You don't think Aaron will need these right?" he countered, as he moved them back to the garage. She gave him a sympathetic look.

"No, I don't. What is the matter with you? Are you nervous to take your son to the beach alone?" She laid her arms across her bulging belly, grinning at the man before her. He stopped suddenly, turning to her.

"Nervous? No. I just want to make sure I'm prepared."

"Prepared? Jack, all he needs is a shovel and he'll be thrilled." She thought he looked adorable in his stressed state, trying to make this beach experience fun for the young child.

"We're gonna make a great big castle, Kate. He told me so. I'm just making sure I'm prepared." He strode back into the house, and she watched him, feeling butterflies in her stomach at how sexy he looked in his dark grey board shorts and light blue t-shirt. They hadn't been intimate in what seemed like over a month, due to the baby, and his unsureness of how to approach her that way. She missed it, there was no denying. She couldn't wait for that after the baby.

"Okay." She drug the word out a little as Aaron came running from the house into the immaculate garage, his sandy blonde hair all messed, his t-shirt red, and his little tiny swim trunks orange.

"Mommy, we're going to the beach! I'm all ready!" He said proudly. She smiled sweetly at his disshevled, yet adorable, appearance. She moved from her perch, fixing his hair.

"I know! You be good for Daddy, okay?" she loved saying that.

"I will." He hugged her as best he could due to her belly, and then climbed into the door she had opened for him, and into his car seat. She watched him do it himself and felt as though he was growing up so fast. He'd be four next November, and it seemed to be coming so fast, much faster than his second and third birthday had. Jack came out of the house again, this time with his sunglasses on, keys in hand, and fresh-brewed coffee poured over ice. She enjoy his relaxed demeanor on the weekends when he wasn't on call, and the fact that he enjoyed spending time with Aaron warmed her heart. He was a good man, a strong one, with good moral values and great sense of humor. She so enjoyed everything about him and felt so lucky to have met him on the Island, and that he had changed his mind about being with Aaron and her. She rubbed her belly subconsciously as Jack made his way to her, stopping to give her a kiss and to give the baby an affectionate rub.

"You take it easy, okay?" He looked at her with that doctor's face and she giggled.

"Yes, Dr. Shephard." She replied obiediantly. "I love you," she smiled brightly. He smiled back, kissing her again and replying "I love you, too" before walking around to the driver's side of the truck and climbing it.

"You buckled up Aaron?" he asked, buckling his own seat belt. The young boy in the back nodded his head enthusiastically.

"Yup!" Jack put the truck in reverse and both boys waived to Kate as she watched them pull out of the drive. She waved back until they were past the house and she headed back inside, anxious for a tea and to sit down. While her tea steeped, she picked up the phone and dialed a familiar number. Dipping the tea bag in the water, she waited for the other line to be answered.

"Hello?" came the voice on the other end and Kate grinned.

"Hey, hun. How are you?" Kate replied into the phone.

"Kate! So good to hear from you. I'm fine, how are you?" Cassidy smiled through the phone. The women hadn't spoken since Kate's wedding, where Cassidy had made an appearance, but a short one, neither sure how to explain to Jack who she was or how they knew each other.

"Great, besides being tired and starting to feel like I'm carrying a giant watermelon around. I can see why you only did this once." Kate laughed, enjoying the female conversation. She didn't speak to Sun often, since it was so expensive to call Korea, and they e-mailed a little, but Cassidy was Kate's closest female friend. She would have been Kate's maid of honor but for the same reason, they decided against it, that way the Sawyer fight wouldn't come back up, especially before their wedding. "How's Clementine?"

"She's so wonderful. She reminds me everyday of why I loved her father," Cassidy voice suddenly sounded far a way, as she were thinking of a different time, but it didn't last long. "How's Aaron?"

"Getting so big. I feel like everytime I look at him, he has grown a few inches," the women laughed a little.

"How's Doctor Jack?" Cassidy giggled. She had only seen the man in person at the wedding briefly, but had told Kate how handsome she thought he was and how she then realized why Kate had been unable to get over the thought of him when they had been seperated those long years before they had reunited.

"Oh, he's great. He took Aaron to the beach. It's one of their first adventures out by themselves," she chuckled, thinking about what Aaron could say or do to make Jack uncomfortable. "Jack is still getting used to fatherhood, and I think sometimes, he gets overwhelmed."

"It's a big job. Especially to come into after the baby has grown into a toddler. With no child experience, I think it can be daunting." Cassidy agreed.

"Yeah, I think he does a pretty good job for that being true. He is a good father, and I know he will be great with an infant." Kate made herself comfortable at the dining room table, crossing a leg underneath her, sipping her tea. "I can't wait to see him hold the baby," she smiled ecstatically just thinking about it.

"Oh, yeah, that will be great," Sawyer had never met Clementine, and Kate knew Cassidy wished he had. She wished they had been a real family, and that after she had told him about the baby, that he had come to live with them. But he was still too busy chasing his own demons to settle down and raise a child. They both knew that.

* * *

"Wow, Aaron! That's a big shell!" Jack remarked at the large clamshell Aaron had picked up off the sand and was carrying with them along the water's edge.

"I'm going to give it to Mommy," the young child spoke with a large smile and it made Jack smile lovingly. Aaron and Kate were so close, as she had been the only person he had known for the first two and half years of the child's life. It was as though he really were her blood. The child definitely didn't know the difference.

"She'll love it," Jack rubbed the child's head as they headed back to the chair and towels marking their spot on the abundant beach of white sand. The sun was warm on them in the early April air, and Jack didn't know how he would be able to live anywhere without a beach. Though, he did think for a moment, after getting off the Island, he could definitely find living somewhere other than by the Pacific Ocean could be enjoyable.

"Daddy, can I ask you a question?" the young child asked as Jack began gathering their things. They had played at the beach for over an hour and Jack wanted to get Aaron out of the sun before his light skin got too much exposure. Though he was covered in sunscreen, being a doctor, Jack knew the effects of the sun on young skin and wanted to make sure the little boy was protected properly and not in the sun to long or often. Packing their things into the beach bag, Jack nodded to the little boy.

"Sure, what's up?" he asked Aaron as he lifted to the bag on to one strong shoulder and the chair onto the other.

"How did the baby get in Mommy's tummy?" the boy asked curiously, causing Jack to trip. He felt he was getting really comfortable with the child, but still didn't know exactly what his answer was supposed to be to questions such as where the baby had come from. He tried to think of a good answer, one that would satisfy curiousity and yet not tell the child more than he needed to know at three and a half years old.

"Well," he started causiously, "see, Mommy and I wanted to have another baby. So when we decided, it started to grow in Mommy's tummy. That way it is safe from anything harmful until it is ready to be born." Jack said it slowly, and as it was coming out, he thought it sounded like a really answer.

"So Mommy's belly is kinda like a shell?" Aaron asked, his eyes lighting up, "like a turtle's shell?" he spoke excitedly. Jack laughed a little, weighing the comparison.

"Sure, I guess you could think of it that way, since it is protecting the baby."

"Wow, cool!" The little boy said excitedly. Jack helped him into his carseat, buckling him in and then climbed into the front. Pulling into traffic, Jack felt a wash a relief as Aaron didn't ask anymore baby questions, and simply listening quietly along to the radio. Jack knew that was only the tip of the iceburg in the sense of explaining things to the little boy about the ways of life, but for three and a half, he hoped it would satisfy his wealth for knowledge until he was older.

Arriving home, Jack helped Aaron out of the truck and the boy ran inside the garage and into the house. Jack followed with a smile, knowing he was excited to see his mother, as was Jack. He was getting more and more uncomfortable about leaving her alone, just as a natural husband and fatherly worry, but was trying to still allow her the independance and freedom he had found so attractive about her when they had met. How long ago that seemed, how much had change. There was a time, on that Island, when it had seemed as though none of this were even possible, that they would never get off the Island. But now, it felt to him, as though he could never imagine going back, or he felt maybe it had all been a long, horrible dream. No matter how horrible and difficult it had been, he could never have imagined not meeting Kate.

He found Aaron in the den, telling Kate all about the big castle they had built, and showing her the large clam shell he had found. Jack found the small child endearing in his excitement.

"And then Daddy told me how the baby got in your tummy!" He finished his story, rubbing her belly fondly. "You have a shell, like a turtle!" Kate looked from the child to Jack, as Jack's face turned a shade of pink.

"That's not quite what I said, kiddo. I told you her belly protected the baby, like a shell." he corrected, trying to save himself. Kate laughed softly, hugging the little boy against her. He pushed away after a moment and ran up the stairs. Kate looked at Jack with a big grin.

"A shell?" she laughed curiously. Jack sat beside her, giving her a kiss.

"The shell was his comparison, not mine. And I actually think it's a good one," he defended. "And you weren't there to explain to him how baby got into your stomach so don't give me that look." She laughed a little harder at his defensive attitude. "I did the best I could with five seconds to come up with an answer," he grinned at her as she laughed.

"Oh, I love you," she spoke through her laughter, enjoying his story. "I'm sorry I wasn't there to answer it for you," she slowed her laughing and squeezed his hand.

"Ehh, it's all right. I made it through. I am a doctor, you know" he winked and she rolled her eyes playfully.

"How could I ever forget?"

* * *

"All right, well, Kate, you are on your way to delivery," Dr. Richardson spoke happily, shutting down the unltrasound machine. "Everything looks great. We will see you in four weeks," she smiled at Kate who squeezed Jack's hand. Finishing writing something on Kate's chart, she excused herself as Jack helped Kate sit up. She glowed as he helped her off the exam table. She attempted to bounce up and down happily and he grinned at her cute excitement.

"I'm so excited, baby's almost here!" She had covered her eyes on part of the ultrasound to make sure she didn't see what the sex of the baby was. She was so excited for the surprise of it, she made Jack cover his eyes too. She did a little dance. Jack laughed at her.

"What are you doing?" He stood in his light blue scrubs by the exam room door, his arms folded and an eyebrow raised.

"I'm doing my happy dance because the baby's almost here." She stopped abruptly and made a face. "Fine, I'll stop." She rolled her eyes in mock annoyance and picked up her purse, moving to the door. He chuckled at her defeat.

"You didn't have to stop. You looked cute. I just wasn't sure what those moves were." He teased her as they made their way to the check out window.

"If you were 8 months pregnant, you wouldn't be able to dance that easily either." She chided. He laughed and sighed a sigh of relief.

"Well thank goodness I'll never know what that feels like." He paid the co-pay for the visit and they booked their next appointment before heading out into the parking lot. "You still want to have lunch?"

"If you have time, sure."

"My surgery is at 3:00 so I have plenty of time," he reponded, checking his watch. "I'll meet you there?"

"Sure, see you in a bit." She moved toward the Tahoe, as she had been driving it recently. It accomodated her belly better than the Volvo did, and she wanted to think she would be driving it more after the birth so she wanted to get used to it. He let her think that, knowing he enjoyed the large vehicle just as much. Pulling out of the drive, he felt nervous as she turned into traffic. Against his better judgement, he'd been letting her drive, but he planned to put a stop to it when he was halfway to her due date, and he would just take her keys away and listen to her complain, and he would tell her it was in her best interest. He really wanted her to be safe and for nothing to happen to her or the baby.

Pulling into the restuarant parking lot, he held her hand on their way inside. Finding a table by the window, they settled down into the booth, and ordered drinks and their food, as they frequented this particular spot. It was in downtown Los Angeles, about ten minutes from the doctor's office, and in very close proximity to his hospital. He placed his cell phone and pager on the table before reaching across and grasping her hand.

"Anymore luck with names?" he began, grinning. She shrugged, sipping her water.

"I thought about maybe Aiden for a boy and Chloe for a girl." She started, contemplating her response. He seemed to think about it for a moment.

"I like them I think. I actually heard of a really nice name I thought you might like," he took a sip of his water. "What do you think of Kaylee or Landon?" He seemed pleased with himself.

"Landon Shephard. Kaylee Shephard. I like them both I think. I love Landon, actually...has a great ring to it and it feels like a really sound name." She smiled happily at him. "I think that's definitely my favorite so far."

"Yeah, I really liked that one. I really like Grace for a girl, too." She said it with his last name and thought for a moment.

"Grace is a good one too. Hmmm.. decisions decisions. I like Cole too, I heard that one the other day. And Avery for a girl."

"Cole Shephard. I like that. It's strong. Avery Shephard, that's a good one too. Plus it has an 'A' like Aaron and I think I like the idea of trying to keep them the same letter."

"That's cute. I think Landon and Cole are my favorite so far for boys and Avery and Grace are my favorite for girls. You never know what I might come up with next, though." She winked playfully as their food arrived. They ate while chatting over other possible names, and any other supplies they needed to get over the next month. She was full of excitement for the upcoming birth, feeling as though it seemed surreal that she would soon be delivering a human being.

"I mean, I still have trouble believing there is something growing inside me." she rubbed her belly and laughed. "I can't wait to know what it's like to not be fat anymore," she chewed her sandwich, "though it's been nice to eat food I haven't let myself eat in years."

"You're not fat, honey. You're all baby weight. With a little bit of gym time you will be right back to where you started." he encouraged her. "They have a daycare at the gym too, so you can even bring the baby and Aaron together and work out for an hour or so, enjoying some peace and quiet," he chuckled, enjoying his turkey sandwich.

"You're sweet. That is a good idea, we have a membership there anyway. Hmm, another thing to look forward to." She finished her half a sandwich and salad in enjoyable silence with him and they chatted a little while they let their food digest before he paid and they stood, moving toward the door and onto the sidewalk and to the parking lot. Traffic was heavy and he gave her a nervous look.

"Please be careful driving home. I'm taking your driving privilages away soon just so your are forwarned." She made a protesting face but he shook his head. "Kate, I shouldn't be letting you drive now but I do because I don't want to hear it. Just please be careful, okay?" He pulled her to him, kissing her forehead. Wrapping her arms around his waist, she knew he felt that way because he loved her.

"I will, call me when you're on your way home. I'm going to get Aaron from your mother's and then we're going to the grocery store and then home." They shared a sweet kiss before he let go of her reaching into his pockets.

"I left my phone and pager on the table. I'll see you when I get home." He kissed her forehead again before beginning walking back to the front door of the restuarant. She got in the Tahoe and pulled out of the spot and began into traffic.

The waitress met Jack at the door with his things, and he smiled at her, grateful. "Thank you so much," he spoke, handing her an extra tip. She smiled politely and he turned and began back out onto the sidewalk. He was thinking about the baby names she had mentioned when he heard squealing tires and the screech of twisting metal. His mind switching to that of a doctor's, he turned around to where the sound came from and began in that direction. Ever since their plane crash, he had felt the need to help people, always stopping by an accident to see if anyone needed a doctor, or checking on crash victims to make sure they were all right while they waited for help. What began as a brisk walk turned into a jog as he made his way up the sidewalk of people looking at the accident. Jack couldn't tell from where he was what had appeared to have happened, but he could tell by the steam coming from the cars and the sound of crying and raised voices that it seemed serious. As he neared, that jog turned into a run as he saw that one of the vehicles was a large black Chevrolet, the same build as his own.

"_It's not Kate, it can't be. She would have gone the other direction," _he assured himself as he got closer. However, when he was within 50 yards, his worst fears were confirmed and he felt a knot tighten in the pit of his stomach as he ran faster. The crumpled black SUV had a Red Sox sticker on the driver's side back window, the same one he had applied days before. Sprinting, he tried to keep himself calm. _"Oh God, please don't be Kate!" _he begged.

* * *

Soooo reviews are love. Tell me what you think! :-) Thanks!


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter 23

:-) Hello again all! I feel like we have not spoken in _days_! I finally finished this chapter and finally decided on the baby! *gasp* That's pretty much what kept me from posting was the fact that I couldn't decide what the baby would be. SOO I have decided. I'm glad you all enjoyed the cliffhanger ;-) I know I enjoyed your reactions! Thank you SO much to everyone who reviews! It means the world to me! I wouldn't write this if it weren't for you guys. So thank you very much! *sniff sniff*

I hope no one is dissapointed with the sex of the baby. I thought long and hard about it before I decided. Thank you for understanding.

All right, all right. On to the story :-P I chose the song, "Fix You," by Coldplay because, as according to a ton of youtube videos, it appears to be Jack's theme and not only that, it seemed appropriate and powerful. I thought of this whole scenario while listening to this song in the car so that is why I chose it to represent this chapter. Please listen to it while reading if you listen to music while reading. I also liked "Calling All Angels" by KD Lang for the last scene. Okay, without further ado. Please enjoy and please REVIEW. Thanks everyone!

Jack reached the vehicles, moving around the mangled mess of metal to get to Kate. The closer he got he saw the immense amount of damage to their new car. She'd been hit in her front end, on the driver's side, the wheel well buckled in, the car resting on its nose. The front end was almost destroyed, the driver's side windows broken.

As he reached her door, he noticed that the door hinge was smashed in, making it impossible for him to open the door. He ran around to the passenger side, throwing open the door, and climbing inside. What he saw made his heart leap into his throat.

Kate's head was rolled to her left side, her eyes shut. She was bleeding from her forehead, and he could see blood on her blue maternity dress but he couldn't tell where it was coming from.

"Kate?" Jack spoke to her, trying to keep his voice calm, though he could feel his heart pounding. She didn't respond. "Kate?" he repeated, more urgently this time, checking her pulse. It was a little slower than normal but there, and she was breathing easily. "Kate!" he raised his voice, touching her shoulder gently. He felt a rush of relief as her eyes opened, revieling her emerald orbs. She began to move out of panic, but he stilled her. "Don't move! Just take it easy," he brushed her curls out of her eyes, and off her gash, leaning over her, trying to access her injuries.

"Jack?" Kate whispered, he voice questioning. He locked eyes with her confused, pained ones, hushing her.

"Katie, I need you to stay still for a moment. Tell me what hurts," He coaxed. He could hear the sirens coming as it occured to him he had never once thought to call '911'. He always cared for the patients, never called for help. He searched her eyes for answers.

"Ummm...", she started, unsure. "My head really hurts, my arm too." She moved it to look, wincing in pain as Jack reached for it. A long, jagged cut came from her elbow, coming to an end by her wrist. Blood poured from the cut as he touched it, determining whether or not it was broken. He could see the glass debris from where the window had shattered, probably on impact, also causing the laceration on her head.

"Does this hurt?" he asked, gently touching her arm in different places. Though tears began to stream down her freckled cheeks, she stayed calm. She shook her head each time he asked, indicating her arm most likely wasn't broken, though they would need an x-ray to know for sure.

"What about your legs?" he moved his hands to her thighs. He could see the fear in her eyes.

"I can move them, and wiggle my toes," She responded, showing him. Removing her seat belt, he touched her belly gently.

"Does your stomach hurt anywhere?" Jack tried to keep his voice steady as he saw panic in her face. He saw the ambulances and firetrucks beginning to arrive. Three other cars were involved in the wreck, he knew the paramedics had their work cut out for them.

"No...", she trailed off, looking unsure. He knew they needed to get her out of the car and to a hospital as fast as they could, knowing this kind of trauma during a pregnancy wasn't good, especially with her being eight months along. And he feared the worst if they didn't.

"Sit still and stay right here. I'm going to go get some help to get you out of here," He paused, knowing what she needed at that moment was reassurance. Her face was pale and she looked worried. If it were just her, he knew she would be cracking a joke, or smiling to reassure him she was all right, but being pregnant, with the life of their baby at stake, she needed to know he was going to take care of them. He kissed her right, un-injured hand.

"You're both going to be okay. I love you," She gave a faint, ghost of a smile before he jumped out of the truck and ran to the paramedics. He noticed that the driver of the vehicle who had hit Kate was sitting on a stretcher, and the other vehicles' drivers were being helped out of their cars. He didn't allow himself to speculate what had happened as he reached the firetruck. "My wife is 8 months pregnant, she's in the black Tahoe. We need to extricate her, I'm afraid she'll go into labor if we don't get her to the hospital," he explained to one of the men. He nodded, moving to speak to two other firemen. They devised a plan, as Jack moved back to the truck, climbing back in next to her. A paramedic climbed into the backseat, asking her medical questions. Jack tried to not look annoyed, as he had already asked her all the same questions, but stayed quiet while the firemen moved to cut off the door. He knew they could have her climb over the passenger seat if they had to, but with her belly, and the condition of her head, and the already destroyed manner their car was in, it was just easier and more rational to cut her out and slide her right onto a stretcher.

Grasping his hand, Kate shifted a little bit in her seat as they tried to slice through the door. Jack had wrapped a black around her to protect her from the grinding metal, and she gripped it tighter. He looked over at her, watching her move, unsure of what she was doing.

"Kate?" he watched a look of discomfort cross her face. He squeezed her hand. "What's wrong?" he grew worried as she shifted again.

"I'm just cramping a little. I'm sure it's okay, maybe just the baby moving around." Her voice was taut as she again shifted. He hoped the firemen would hurry their process up because he didn't want her to be uncomfortable for long, or worse.

He watched her face the entire time, trying to read her expressions. He was relieved as they stopped the blade. He moved around the vehicle to help her to the ground. As the firemen pulled the door off, Jack and a paramedic stepped in to help her down. He let go of her arm as the paramedic held her steady. He was manuevering the stretcher when he heard her call out, panicked.

"Jack!" He turned back to her to see what the matter was but immediatly knew by the liquid running down her bare legs. He could feel the color drain from his face. The young, male paramedic looked between Kate and Jack as Jack wheeled the stretcher to her quickly. She looked terrified, shaking her head out of fear and disbelief.

"Kate, I'm going to drop this and I need you to climb on and lie down, okay?" She nodded, tears falling from her eyes.

"Did my water just break?" She asked innocently, unsure of what had just happened. She climbed onto the stretched and Jack raised it back up. He didn't answer her, only pushed her to the nearest unoccupied ambulance. As Jack was apparaising another paramedic of their situation, Kate suddenly writhed in pain, cyring out. Jack stopped mid-sentence, turning back to her, concerned. She was gripping her belly, her knuckles white.

"Kate?" He searched her face. He knew immediately then that nothing was going to go as planned. "Kate, look at me," he prompted, resting a hand on her head and a hand on her hand. When he finally met his eyes, the pain in her eyes made his stomach drop. "Kate, you're in labor," he spoke slowly, wishing it wasn't true. She began shaking her head, with a defiant look.

"Stop it, then!" She cried. It broke his heart to see her in this predicament but he kept a straight face, holing himself together, willing himself to stay in 'doctor mode'. He gave her a sympathetic look.

"I can't, baby. We're going to put you in the ambulance and then figure out how dialated you are," He looked away, jumping into the ambulance, as the paramedics lifted her in. She cried out again in pain, and Jack felt helpless. One of the young paramedics who was fixing her IV, looked at Jack wearily.

"I've never actually delivered a baby," he admitted, his voice shaking with uncertainty as he watched Jack situate a sobbing Kate so he could access how far along her labor was. He flashed the young man a wry smile.

"I did in med school. It's just been a while," he pulled on a pair of latex gloves as Kate fought another contraction. Peering at her, he sucked in his breath, his heart beginning to race again. Taking a deep breath, he looked at Kate, in her eyes. "You're six centimeters dialated," he began as she started to cry harder.

"What? No, Jack! It's not supposed to happen this way!"

"I know, honey, but the accident may have caused the placenta to move or even break. You're bleeding and your body is trying to do what it knows to do. To save itself, and the baby, the baby needs to come out." Keeping his voice steady, he looked at the two paramedics. "You, watch her blood pressure," he motioned to the monitor before looking back to the other paramedic. "I'll need towels, something to clean the baby's airway, and a clamp for the embilical cord," Looking back at Kate, he felt her fear. She was shaking her head, crying quietly now, repeating, "It's not supposed to happen this way." He checked her again and felt surprised at how fast she was dialating. He reached his hand over he large belly.

"Take my hand, Kate," Jack ordered. She did as he asked, holding on to him as if for dear life. "This baby it coming. I'm right here, okay? We're doing this together," he encouraged, as tears spilled over her cheeks.

"It hurts," she spoke quietly, through her sobs. He felt his eyes water.

"I know, baby. Remember that story I told you? The day you sewed me up?" She nodded. "I'm going to let you be afraid for five seconds, okay? We're going to count together, and then you're going to push, okay?" He knew he needed to count as much as she did.

"One," they spoke quietly, in unison, their eyes never leaving the other's.

"Two,"

"Three,"

"Four,"

"Five,"

"Push, Kate!" She gave a galient effort, crying out as she did so. He saw a look of pain cross her features but also a look of determination, one that reminded him of the hardcore Kate he had known on the Island. "Okay, take a breath," She heaved and he could see beads of sweat on her bloody forehead. "Three more pushes and the head will be out, babe. You're doing great. On three..." he counted, and she pushed. It almost felt surreal to him that he was actually delivering his own child. She collapsed back against the raised end of the stretcher after two more pushes, breathing heavily. "I can see the head, Kate. One more big push and then its easy," She took another deep breath and pushed, gritting her teeth. He encouraged her until the head was out, clearing its nose and mouth.

"The head is out! Two or three more pushes and you're done." She pushed again, and again, until she heard a cry. Opening her tired eyes, she saw tears cascading down Jack's face as he held up a wet, screaming infant. He moved to place it against her chest as she cried, exhausted, but ecstatic. "It's a boy," her husband said, holding the baby against her. She kissed its red face, willing it to stop crying as Jack cut the cord, clamping it. He wrapped the child in a soft blanket, and as he began to feel as though they were out of the woods, the paramedic shutting the door, moving to the driver's seat of the vehicle, preparing them for their short ride to the hospital, Kate looked up at Jack, her face pale.

"Dr. Shephard.." the other paramedic began, as he watched he blood pressure on the monitor. Jack looked up at him before Kate called his attention back.

"Jack...," she started, her eyes looking heavy as she continued, "I don't feel well," she spoke as the blood pressure monitor began beeping. He looked at the machine as her blood pressure dropped, and then back to her face as her eyes fluttered shut, her grip loosening on the infant. Jack picked up the whimpering baby, the paramedic moving around Kate, pushing drugs into her IV, and hooking her up to oxygen. Jack numbly watched, holding his newborn son in his arms, as they pulled up to the emergency bay at the hospital. He stared down at the tiny being in his arms, noting his ten fingers, and ten toes, and his perfect features.

Jack let the paramedic do his job, as the other emergency personel crowded the ambulance. A nurse whisked the crying baby from Jack's arms, carrying it off into the hospital, as Jack moved to be with Kate. He answered questions about her health, her pregnancy, and the accident. He felt relieved they were that the hospital, but was still very worried for Kate. They wheeled her into a room, and stopped him at the door. He looked confused, trying to move around the woman who blocked him from being next to Kate.

"Dr. Shephard, I'm sorry, I can't let you in here-"

"Yes you can! I'm her husband! Please!" He began to feel helpless again as the older nurse stood her ground.

"I'm sorry, Dr. Shephard. Let us do our job and I will come and get you when we're done." She backed up, shutting the door in his face. He could see the nurses bustling around Kate's motionless body as they hooked her up to countless IVs and machines. He was faintly aware of the other ambulances arriving, more injured being pushed into the ER, most likely from the same accident, he guessed. But he didn't care, Kate was his primary concern. Feeling his pager vibrate, he tore his eyes away to check the number. Upon recognising it, he cursed, realizing he was supposed to be scrubbing in to surgery at that very moment. He moved to the nearest phone and dialed the extension.

"Hey, it's Dr. Shephard...I know, I know, my wife was in an accident...No, she's not, she went into labor...yes, she delivered the baby, I don't know how she is yet...If Appleby can't get up there and cover for me, we will have to reschedule. I can't do that right now." He hung up the phone as another nurse appraoched him. She had a small smile on her face.

"Dr. Shephard, your baby is all cleaned up. We checked him over and he seems healthy. We're going to move him upstairs soon to be monitored since he is premature, but I thought you might want to see him first." She gave him a comforting look and waited patiently as he looked back and forth between her and Kate. Knowing there was nothing he could do for her at the moment, he nodded.

"Okay." Jack followed the young nurse down the ER hallway to a room on the end, away from the bustle of the busy place. Inside was a glass basinet, holding his baby. He moved slowly to the side of the tiny bed, the nurse excusing herself for a moment. He tiny being stared up at him, swaddled in a blue blanket, barely moving around, and Jack seemed to notice for the first time how small the baby was. According to the paper on the side of the basinet that read "Baby Shephard", their little boy was 5 pounds and 9 ounces. He seemed afraid to touch the child, feeling his eyes brim with tears. Reaching in, he fought the fear, picking up the blue bundle, and settling it in his strong arms. Rocking it gently, he sat on the doctor's stool, trying to memorize his small features. He had no hair, and the smallest nose Jack had ever seen. His heart felt as though it were breaking a little everytime the baby blinked its little eyes, for Kate was unable to be with them. He hoped they were able to save her, to figure out where she was bleeding from. He couldn't bare to be without her.

He didn't find himself to be a spiritual man, especially religious, but he felt as though he didn't know what else to do besides say a little prayer that she would be all right. He didn't even allow himself to think about what could possibly happen to her. He could see Kate in the baby in his arms, his small nose looking like Kate's, and the shape of his mouth. A tear slid down his cheek as he knew he couldn't raise Aaron and this baby without her. He gripped the baby as if it were holding him, knowing he had to take the rest of this day one moment at a time or he would fall apart. Shifting the baby into one arm, as it lay quietly staring up at him. He pulled his cell phone out of his pocket and dialed his mother's number, needing her voice and her comfort, and to also let her know what was going on, as she had been waiting for Kate for over an hour now. He rocked the baby softly as the phone rang in his ear. When she answered he let out a sigh of relief.

"Hey Mom."

"Jack, hi. How are you?"

"I'm all right. I have something to tell you," despite the situation, the edges of his lips twitched into what could have been a small, faint smile.

"What?" she asked curiously.

"You have another grandson."

Well...please be nice. Reviews are greatly appreciated. Hope you guys enjoyed. Sorry it took me so long to decide the sex of the baby. Thank you for your patience.


	24. Chapter 24

Chapter 24

Sooo I really hope no one was dissapointed the baby was a boy or didn't like the last chapter...my reviews were down this last chapter :-/ I also hope no one really thought I'd kill Kate off...LoL. This chapter should make everyone happy, or at least I hope so. I also hope you guys aren't getting bored with the story (I don't know how you could with babies and car accidents and comas but I suppose anything is possible...). Anyway, I hope everyone likes this new chapter and THANK YOU to all of you who reviewed! You're awesome! Thanks. Okay, on to the story...

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Jack watched the tiny infant sleep in his new crib in the nursery. The doctors seemed sure he was fine but they wanted to keep him for as a few days to be on the safe side. Night having fallen, Jack was fine with that. He wouldn't be leaving until Kate left with him anyway.

He had called Aaron earlier, talking to him for a bit, telling him he'd be staying again at his grandmother's, knowing he wouldn't understand at three years old what had happened. Jack and Margo also decided not to tell Aaron about the baby just yet. Margo had been elated at the news of the baby but upon Jack telling her what had happened to Kate, she immediately consoled him over the phone. Jack had shed a few tears, worried for his wife and son, but now sat silently inside the nursery, staring at the small baby, exhausted.

He ran a hand through his wet hair, having recently showered, and his eyes tried to shut. He fought them back open, determined to stay awake. He had to go check on Kate soon, make sure she was doing all right. He sighed heavily at the thought of her.

Kate. He rubbed the bridge of his nose, trying to hold his emotions together. He recalled his conversation with the ER doctor and the OB/GYN specialist they had called in to assess Kate's injuries. He had thought about it so many times since, going over and over it in his head.

_"Dr. Shephard," the three men shook hands. Jack nervously crossed his arms over his chest, still in his scrubs. They were still splattered with Kate's blood. At least he had washed his hands, he thought. _

_"How is she?" He asked, taking the unsure road rather than asking medical questions. The men looked at him, their faces in that 'doctor' expression. Jack knew that expression well. He had perfected it himself._

_"We have stopped the hemoraging that caused her hypotension. Basically she went into hemorrhagic shock because her uterus failed to contract-uterine atony. We have given her 20 units pitocin, .2 mcg Methergine, and 250 mcg Hemabate to stop the hemorhage and to contract her uterus. This is common postpartum." Jack wasn't sure whether to be relieved or more concerned. He knew what everything meant but he was a spinal surgeon, not an OB/GYN. He processed the information before speaking. _

_"So, should she not have delivered the baby?" He searched for a reason, a cause. The OB/GYN shook his head. _

_"No, you did the rigfht thing. If we had tried to defer the labor or if you had tried to make her wait, we could have lost both of them. Delivering the baby ws the best choice for your wife. And there is no telling why her uterus didn't contract, there are so many theories out there. Regardless, you did the right thing." That seemed to ease his worry a little. The doctors didn't seem finished though. They looked at each other before looking back at Jack. He gave them a weary look. _

_"What?" he asked impatiently. The ER attending sighed. _

_"Well, Dr. Shephard, though we;ve got her condition stabilized, she has yet to regain consiousness. We're waiting and watching her non-stop but she hasn't responded to any promtping from us to wake." Jack's face paled. "You're more than welcome to sit with her and talk to her but we don't have any other answers just yet." The doctor seemed almost apologetic. _

_"Did you do an MRI?" _

_"Yes, we did. She has strong brain functions." He placed a hand on Jack's shoulder. "Hang in there. I'll be back to check on her in an hour." _

_"Thank you." They left Jack standing by the nurse's station in the ER, feeling as though he'd been punched in the stomach. Moving slowly to the door to Kate's room, he slid it open and his breath caught in his throat. She lay on the bed, her chocolate curls splayed out on the white pillow, her freckles standing out like pebbles in snow on her pale cheeks. _

Tears sprung to his eyes at the memory. He had left her an hour ago to check on their son, who lay peacefully in the crib, swaddled in a blue blanket. Kate had only seen him for a moment. He wished she could hold their son, wished she would wake and assure him she was all right.

Staring at the baby, he felt bad. The little guy didn't even have a name yet. They hadn't finalized one. He knew a few that she had liked but didn't want to name him without her. It didn't seem right.

Standing, he stretched, as a nurse entered to check the infant. She gave Jack a sweet smile, writing information on the baby's chart.

"Heading downstairs to check on your wife?" she asked quietly, sympathetically. He nodded. She was in the Intensive Care Unit now as they waited for her to wake.

"Yeah," he tenderly touched the baby's cheek with his finger, a small smile forming on his lips. The nurse nodded, holding the clipboard against her chest.

"Technically, I'm not supposed to let you do this, but why don't you take him down to see her? It might help her wake up or something," She gave him a hopeful look, "After all, you are the chief of surgery, why would anyone question you?" She gave him a wink and left the room. Jack smiled softly, picking up the small infant and snuggling him against his strong chest. He carried him down to Kate's room, the nurses 'ooh'ing and 'aww'ing over the child. The baby remained quiet and Jack was surprised at how docile and relaxed he seemed for being only a few hours old. The nurses in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit had fed him a bottle of specialized formula since Kate was unable to nurse the baby. He seemed full and content to Jack. If there was one thing Jack didn't know much about, it was babies. Having grown up an only child, and this being his first child of his own, he was definitely going to be learning as he went. Aaron had been two when he and Kate had begun dating, so he missed the infant stage. He could birth babies, and knew medical information about them, but when it came to caring for one as a parent, he was in the dark.

Settling himself in a chair at Kate's side, he shifted the baby so he could see Kate. A nurse finished taking Kate's vitals and administering pain medication. She looked kindly at Jack.

"Have you tried talking to her?" the older woman asked. Jack shook his head. "I hear that helps sometimes. Or at least that they can hear you." She shrugged. "You never know," she smiled at the baby and touched Jack's shoulder gently. "Good luck," she encouraged before exiting the room, shutting the door behind her. Jack watched Kate take her breathes, her eyes closed angelically. The baby squirmed a little, bring Jack's attention back to him. Jack smiled tenderly at the child in his arms.

"Hey kiddo," the baby watched his father with his big hazel eyes. "I guess we should probably get to know each other while we wait for your mom to wake up," he moved the chair closer to Kate's bed, lifting the child. "That's your mom. Isn't she pretty? She's sleeping right now, but when she wakes, we're going to give you a name. And I know she can't wait to hold you," Jack felt a tear slide down his cheek as he spoke, knowing the child didn't understand him, but feeling as though it made he himself feel better. Jack looked at Kate, willing her eyes to open. "Katie, your baby's here. Don't you want to see him?" he coaxed her, knowing it wouldn't help, but wishing it would. The baby curled up in one arm, Jack squeezed her hand with his free one. He continued talking to the infant.

"When you get older, you can play any sport you want, like baseball or football, and I'll even coach you team. I bet your big brother, Aaron, will even play too." He couldn't wait to introduce the baby to Aaron, and his mother. He already knew he wouldn't raise it like his father had raised him.

Leaning back in the chair, he tried to relax. The baby's eyes were closed, his little mouth puckered as he started to sleep, and Jack felt jealous. Maybe he'd close his eyes, just for a few minutes. Settling them shut, he instantly felt calmed, one hand in Kate's, one arm holding his son against his chest.

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Jack woke to the feel of warm sun and the sudden realization he was no longer holding the baby. Sitting up, he searched the room, his eyes landing for a moment on Kate's sleeping form, but seeing the baby was no where to be found. Standing and rubbing sleep from his eyes, he moved to the hallway of the unit. The nurses at the station across from Kate's room all greeted him with a smile. He, however, didn't smile back.

"Have any of you seen my son?" he asked, his tone weary, worried. The women all laughed. One stood to answer him.

"You mean Casanova right here?" she chided, pointing to another nurse who was bottle-feeding the newborn. Relief washed over Jack's face as he rested his forearms on the counter, smiling at the women.

"I was worried there for a second," he confessed.

"I went in to check on Mrs. Shephard and saw you had fallen asleep. I scooped up Little One here and we've been taking turns with him ever since. He's quite the charmer," she winked at Jack, "Wonder where he gets that from." Jack felt his cheeks flush under her gaze. The nurse feeding the infant carried him around the desk to Jack.

"I brought him upstairs briefly to get his check-up and to get his formula, then brought him right back down," she handed the feeding baby over the Jack. Jack looked at the nurses, curious.

"Any change?" he asked, hopeful. They all gave him sympathetic looks.

"No, but we will let you know as soon as there is." Jack nodded and said a 'thank you' before heading back into Kate's room. He kissed her forehead and asked himself how long she could possibly stay unconsious for. He only wished he knew the answer.

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Opening the door to his mother's house, he heard a squeal and was almost knocked down by the running child. He laughed despite the situation, also happy to see the little boy.

"Hi there, kiddo! How are you?" he scooped the child up as Margo came around the corner clutching a coffee mug, in her bathrobe.

"Good! I missed you! Where's Mommy?" Aaron hugged Jack tightly as Jack handed a backpack of Aaron's things to his mother, then setting the boy down.

"Mommy's not feeling well so you're gonna hang out with Grandma today, okay?" Aaron nodded like the good child he was, but looked dissapointed.

"I miss her. When can I go home?" Jack's heart broke for the child.

"Soon, buddy, soon. Why don't you go make her a card? I know she'd love that! In fact, I bet it'll help make her feel better too!" Aaron's face lit up.

"Okay!" he dashed off to his construction paper and crayons already spread across Margo's living room coffee table. Jack turned to his mother, who engulfed him in a comforting hug.

"Sweetie, how are you holding up?" She pulled back, gently touching his cheeks. He sighed heavily.

"I'm okay. No change. Everything is still the same. I went home and took a shower and changed. I have patients I have to see." They moved into the kitchen and she poured him a cup of coffee.

"Well, at least you'll be there in case anything happens," she sat down across from him at the island, sipping her coffee. "Tell me about the baby!" Her voice was excited. Jack gave a hint of a smile.

"Well, he's healthy, small, under six pounds, and adorable. He has Kate's nose," he twirled the mug thoughtfully. "Thanks for watching Aaron, Mom."

"You're welcome, sweetie. When can the baby come home?" Jack looked pensive. He straighted his tie.

"A few days, they said. I'm just taking it day by day right now though, until she regains consiousness. I'd like them to come home together," Jack's cell phone rang as he finished his sentence, grabbing it from his coat pocket.

"Dr. Shephard speaking," he answere professionally.

"Dr. Shephard, it's Dr. Hughes." Jack recognised him as the doctor caring for Kate in the ICU.

"Hi. Is everything all right?" he felt his heart start to pound.

"Everything is fine. Mrs. Shephard is awake. And asking for you." Margo saw Jack's face light up.

"I'll be right there," he hung up the phone, hugging his mother.

"What's going on?" she questioned, following him as he practically ran to kiss Aaron goodbye.

"She's awake!" He kissed the top of the boy's blonde head, and then his mother's cheek. "I'll call you soon, Mom. Love you kiddo!"

"Love you too, Daddy!"

"Drive carefully!" Margo called after him as he jumped in the Volvo.

Racing to the hospital, he parked in his usual spot in the garage, leaping out, and running to the entrance. He felt a reserved happiness, afraid he'd get there and she'd have passed back under or that she may not be that well off. But when he reached her room, the sight he saw made him break down into tears. She was sitting up, holding their son, the color back in her freckled cheeks, her hair pulled on top of her head. He staggered to her, so relieved, kissing her over and over. She laughed against his lips.

"Jack! I'm happy to see you too!" She smiled at him and he felt his heart well with love.

"Kate, I'm _so_ happy to see you." he breathed, kissing her forehead. He touched the baby's cheek with the back of his fingers. "I see you've met baby," he grinned. She stared at the tiny infant sweetly.

"He's a joy," she replied brightly. "Though, I've been informed you didn't name him," she giggled. Jack's cheeks flushed.

"I didn't know which name you had decided on," he confessed, sliding into the chair by her bed. Her eyes danced in the sunshine that filled the room.

"Well, he's been nameless almost 24 hours, we should probably pick one." She rocked the baby gently, talking softly to him. "What do you think, little one? What should we name you?" He watched her talk to the baby, _their_ baby, and felt overjoyed. Now, if only Aaron were here, then it'd be perfect, he thought.

"My votes are in. I like Landon Christian, Parker Christian, and Adam Samuel. What do you think?" Jack asked her, grinning.

"Adam Samuel?" Kate asked, surprised. They hadn't talked about that name before. She looked down at the tiny being in her arms and smiled.

"I like Adam because it's a strong name, and Samuel because its your father's name." Jack felt like it was the right name. Kate's eyes glassed over.

"I think it's beautiful! And perfect. Adam Samuel Shephard. I love it." She leaned over and kissed Jack full on the mouth. He touched her cheek softly.

"I was so worried I was going to lose you," he whispered to her, his eyes again filling with tears, reflecting the emotional turmoil he had been through. She kissed him again, a single tear trailing down her cheek.

"Jack, you could never lose me."

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What'd you guys think? Where to go now? :-P I hope you enjoyed. Please review. Reviews are love :-) Thanks for reading!


	25. Chapter 25

Chapter 25

"Daddy, is Mommy okay?" Aaron looked up at Jack, his little face worried, as Jack weaved them down the busy hallways of St. Sebastian. The smile on Jack's face should have been enough of an answer for the child, but being so young, he only knew hospitals were where the sick and hurt went to get better. Margo followed behind, grinning from ear to ear as she watched her son lead his son by his hand to the room where his wife and new son were waiting.

"Mommy's just fine. She has a surprise for you." Jack grinned down at Aaron, excited for him to meet his new sibling. Margo readied her camera as they turned the corner, making their way into her room. In the hospital bed was a fresh-faced Kate, holding an infant in her arms, her hair cascading down her shoulders, a delighted look upon her pretty face. Her eyes sparkled as Jack and Aaron entered the room. Jack paused to observe her for a moment as Aaron let go of his hand and bounded to the bed. He couldn't believe how lucky he was.

"Mommy! Mommy! Who's that?" Aaron climbed onto a chair next to her bed and then onto the bed, peering down at the baby. The baby blinked his eyes at Aaron, as Aaron stared quizically down at the child. Kate felt like she would explode with pride and happiness.

"This is Adam, Aaron. Your baby brother." She introduced, moving the baby a little so Aaron could get a closer look. Margo hugged Jack around the waist as they made their way closer to watch the exchange. Aaron stared at the child for a moment before responding.

"He's really small. Why is he red like that?" The adults laughed lightly as Aaron touched the baby's skin.

"He's only two days old, he's still becoming accustomed to being outside my tummy." Aaron's eyes widened as he looked from Kate to the baby.

"He was in your tummy?" Kate smiled wide at the child, taking in his honesty and candid attitude.

"Yep. He just came out a few days ago. So he's still very new to the world." Aaron didn't look like he believed her, looking up at Jack for confirmation. Jack nodded, before Aaron looked back at Kate.

"I came from your tummy too?" He questioned. Kate's smile faded a little and she felt her eyes automatically water as they always did when she thought of where Aaron had come from. But she fought the urge to shed a tear, brightened her smile and nodded emphatically.

"Of course you did! Where else would you come from?" She leaned over and placed a kiss on the boy's blonde head, catching Jack's eye for a moment. The look on his face comforted her, knowing he knew exactly how she felt. Aaron's face lit up.

"Wow! That's cool!" He turned his attention to the baby. "Hi Adam. I'm Aaron, your big brother." He touched the baby's hand and Kate felt again like she would cry, but this time from happiness. Margo was busy snapping pictures through the whole exchange between Kate, Aaron, and Adam, and Jack moved around the bed to sit behind Aaron, next to Kate. Margo felt her heart swell with pride at the family in front of her, so thrilled for her son that he was as happy as he was. And she was thrilled that he finally had a child of his own. Not that Aaron wasn't as much his as he was Kate's, but Adam was his own flesh and blood and that in and of itself was an accomplishment for Jack, she knew.

Jack watched Kate interact with their children, knowing that this was perfect. The four of them together made a family, Adam coming into the world solidified their bond. He leaned over, catching her lips briefly, enjoying the touch of them against his. He would never be able to get enough of them, he decided. He rubbed her back as he mother grinned, having captured the moment in still frame. That would be a good gift one day, she decided with a grin.

Kate woke to the sun shining in across her, warming her. She opened her eyes slowly, adjusting to her surroundings. She grinned happily when she realized she had slept on her stomach, in her own bed, for the first time in months. Stretching her limbs, she realized Jack was no longer beside her. Raising herself up on her elbows, she looked around the room, seeing no sign of Jack. She rolled over slowly, moving to a sitting position, and swinging her legs over the bed. She winced in pain, feeling how sore she still was from the birth. She had only been home since the afternoon before, Adam still only five days old. They had kept them at the hospital to assure Jack that she and the baby were indeed fine. Though smaller than a full term baby, Adam was functioning like he was, and was as healthy as one as well. She had woken twice to feed him during the night, and was surprised she didn't hear him crying now. Standing slowly, she moved to his bassinette and noticed he wasn't there either, meaning Jack must have him downstairs. Smiling at his consideration at letting her sleep, she walked to their bathroom to retrieve her robe. She paused in front of the mirror, glancing at herself in it. Lifting her shirt, she took notice of her stomach. She was much thinner than she had been five days ago, but she still had a very noticible pooch from where she had been pregnant. Touching it, she mentally promised herself she would get back to the gym as soon as her doctor cleared her. She had six weeks, her OB/GYN had informed her, until she could participate in any strenuous activity, including any type of sexual activity. And though it was the last thing on her mind, she did miss being close to Jack in that way. Falling asleep in his arms the night before had been the most amazing feeling, she thought to herself, smiling at the feeling, and how she now had goosebumps along her arms. Dropping her camisol back down to the top of her shorts, she slid her small robe over her bare arms, tying it and making her way easily but slowly down the stairs to find Jack and the boys. _Her _boys, she grinned.

She reached the bottom of the stairs and delighted in the smell of coffee and the sound of quiet laughter. Making her way into the kitchen, she looked to the living room and could see the back of Jack's head, as he was sitting on the couch. Knowing it was time to feed Adam, she wandered to him, kissing the top of his head, and then rubbing Aaron's blonde locks lovingly. Jack turned his head to the side, greeting her with a coffee flavored kiss and a whispered "Good Morning". She grinned against his with a "Good Morning, yourself". She then reached down and touched the small infants rosy cheeks.

"Hey, baby," She greeted the child. Aaron made his way between her and Jack, standing on the couch cushions to be face to face with her.

"Hi Mommy. We're watching "Curious George". I offered Adam cherrios but Daddy said he couldn't have them yet." He spoke with such an adorable innocence it made Kate feel warm and fuzzy. She rubbed the child's arms.

"Well aren't you the best big brother ever?" She kissed his nose and he made an 'yuck" noise, causing a chuckle from Jack. Kate feigned hurt, before Aaron told her he was kidding, embracing her over the back of the couch. She rubbed his back before the child resumed his sitting position, back enjoying the movie. Jack stood, carrying the baby around the couch to a waiting Kate.

"I wanted you to sleep in as much as you could, I know it's been a crazy past few days for you." He rested Adam in her arms. "I'm sure he's hungry though," Jack kissed her forehead, then followed her into the den. She wasn't prepared to nurse the baby in front of Aaron just yet, she wanted to get a better feel for it first. Jack followed her though, enjoying her in her mother role.

"Thank you. Do you have to work today?" She asked, sitting down in a rocking chair Jack had purchased just for rocking their baby.

"No. I'm going to take the next couple of days off to make sure you're situated with him and Aaron. Plus I just want to spend time with you and my boys."

"Aww. That's great!" She flashed him a shy smile as Adam nursed, and noticed how cute Jack looked in his shorts and tee shirt. He hadn't shaved in a few days, his scruff making him look the way it had when they had been on the Island. She did notice however that he had buzzed his hair, guessing he had done it earlier that morning before anyone had woken. "Your hair looks good," she complimented. He ran a palm over his head.

"Thanks. Its getting warm out now and I think it makes me look younger," he winked at her and she laughed. She knew he was pushing forty and that was the last thing he wanted to be pushing, especially now that he was pushing a stroller as well. She rolled her eyes.

"It does. You look good," it came out as almost a gasp, in a lusty voice. She didn't mean it to, but she so badly yerned to be close to him again. He seemed to register the different tone of her voice but didn't respond. They locked eyes for a moment before Adam broke the silence. Kate lifted him up and placed him against her shoulder, rubbing his little back. Jack watched her, studied her. She was more beautiful holding their baby than he had ever imagined. Even the night on Desmond's boat, when she had told she had always been with him, holding a sleeping Aaron against her shoulder, that couldn't compare to this moment right in front of him, knowing it was his child she was holding, knowing it was him she had chosen to be with. It lifted his heart and chased away apprehension at fathering an infant, which he had not the slightest idea of how to do. He had missed Aaron as an infant, and regretted it deeply, but knew that this was the journey they had had to take to get here. Locke was right...he did believe in destiny. He just hadn't known it then. But after watching Kate give birth and then losing her for those endless hours, he knew what destiny was, what fate encompassed.

"Jack, you okay?" she interupted his thoughts. He blinked back to reality, looking up at her. He grinned slowly, shaking his head.

"Yeah, I'm fine, was just thinking." He leaned back and she sat down on his leg. He wrapped an arm around her waist and placed the other arm over her knees that rested between his.

"Must have been deep in thought, I said your name twice," she teased, secretly wondering what he was thinking about. He stared up at her face, then reached to move a lost curl from her eyes.

"Sorry. I was thinking about you..."he trailed off, searching her face, "and how beautiful you are, holding our baby." He said it quietly, with such passion, it tore at her heartstrings. She smiled sweetly down at him, leaning over to kiss his forehead.

"You're so wonderful to me," she whispered. He rubbed small circles on her back with his thumb while Adam yawned in her arms. He looked down at the infant, lovingly.

"He has your nose." He told her quietly. She looked down at him, grinning.

"He has your eyes." She exchanged, smiling happily at the way he looked at their baby.

"Can I take him?" he asked gently, knowing how much she loved to hold him, just as much as he did, actually. She nodded, loving his adoration for the child. She had felt this before, about him and Aaron, but this time it was even more real, because Adam was theirs.

"Sure," she handed the small bundle to Jack, who snuggled it up to his chest. He rocked the child against his chest, talking to him quietly. Kate felt warmed at the sight. Standing, she kissed Jack's forehead again, and left the two boys to bond, going to find her first baby, and a cup of coffee.

Kate unlocked the front door, coming in to the sound of a crying infant. Concerned, she made her way to the kitchen where Jack was sitting at the dining room table, a bottle resting close at hand. Raising his head, she could tell he was about at his wits end with the child. She moved quickly to his side, relieving him of the upset child.

"Hey," She greeted, giving him a kiss. Jack returned it, but it was a sad, defeated kiss.

"I tried everything, Kate. I couldn't get him to stop crying," he ran a frusterated palm over his head. She turned her back to him and smiled for a moment, before turning back. The smile still played at the edge of her lips as she rocked the baby, who had quieted since she's taken him. That seemed to relieve Jack and yet make his sad at the same time.

"He probably just missed me, is all. Its nothing against you Jack. Sometimes babies just cry. Aaron would cry for hours, and I would feel so helpless. Adam is already ten times better than Aaron was when I got him here. Don't worry, it'll get better." She thought back to her first few months with Aaron, alone, and knew she knew exactly how Jack felt. That didn't seem to ease Jack's worried look, though.

"He's been crying for like an hour. He was fine before then. Aaron and I read to him, and I gave him a bath. Then after I fed him, and changed him, he began to fuss and now here we are." He looked exasperated, tired. Adam was now ten days old, and truth be told, neither of them were getting much sleep. As good of a baby as he was, he still was a baby, and babies have needs, lots of needs. He watched Kate rocked the infant in her small arms, singing to him softly. He began to relax, knowing that it was probably not anything he did. But he didn't like feeling helpless like that.

"All you can keep doing is trying the things you know. He's probably tired. It is 8 o'clock. He's probably just ready for bed. I hope, anyway," she grinned, relishing in the fact she might, just might, be able to spend sometime cuddling with her husband on the couch. "Aaron in bed?" she questioned, curious where the little boy was.

"Yeah, the stories were read to Adam were Aaron's bedtime stories. He really adores Adam." he grinned despite himself. "If he's sleeping though, I'm not. With the way this little guy was screaming, I don't know it would be possible." Standing, he made his way to Kate, touching the baby's cheek with the back of his hand. "Before that though, we had a great little time, didn't we, kiddo?" he spoke quietly to the baby. Kate smiled through watery eyes, and handed the baby back to Jack, who's eyes grew wide and fearful at the act. "Kate..." he began, staring at the settled infant. "Where are you going?"

"Just get the groceries. Finish what you started. You're going to need to know how," she countered with a grin, heading back outside to the car to carry in the bags. Jack watched her saunter away and found himself falling even more in love with her, if it was even possible. She knew exactly what he needed, always. And he needed to rock this child to sleep, to know how, because for the next eternity of this child's life, he would need to know these important parenting abilities, especially if they ever had another. He scoffed at the thought, _Another? Lets see if I make it out alive with this one_ he laughed to himself, carrying the baby into the den. Settling into the rocking chair, he wanted to do something, maybe sing? he questioned himself. He talked to the baby all the time, but when Kate sang to him, he settled right down. Taking a deep breath, he figured he'd give it a go, hoping maybe it would allow the baby to sleep.

_Deep In The 100 acred woods  
Where Christopher Robin plays  
You'll find the enchanted neighborhood  
Of Christopher's childhood games_

He kept his voice down, knowing he would be embarassed it Kate ever heard him, and knew he knew the song to 'Winnie the Pooh'. The baby stared intently at him, though, as if encouraging him though. He sang slowly, willing the baby to fall asleep.

_A donkey named Eeyore is his friend  
And Kanga and little Roo  
There's Rabbit and Piglet  
And there's Owl  
But most of all Winnie The Pooh_

Kate came into the house, and stopped short at the sound of Jack's voice. Peeking around the corner, she couldn't believe her eyes, as he sang to the small child, rocking him in their rocking chair.

_Winnie The Pooh  
Winnie The Pooh  
Chubby little cuddly all stuffed with fluff  
He's Winnie The Pooh  
Winnie The Pooh  
Willy nilly silly ol bear_

He drifted the song off, as Adam's eyes closed. Kate moved past the den, dropping the groceries on the table, and taking a moment to let Jack make sure the baby was asleep. He stood, carrying the infant up the stairs to their room, where his bassinette was. Kate waited for him in the kitchen and as he walked into the dining around, still in his jeans and grey teeshirt, she moved quickly to him, wrapping her arms around his waist, resting her head against his chest. He wrapped his arms around her back, resting his head on her's. They stood, in silence, for a moment, before she leaned back, kissing him, softly at first, and then more deeply. He was taken aback by the power in her lips. Her heart leapt as he pulled her closer, placing a hand behind her head, his fingers becoming entangled in her hair. She raked her hands at his hips, pulling him at him, holding him tightly to her. He moved her backwards, to the table, placing her on top of it, moving between her legs and she stayed in a sitting position, still very much connected to his lips. After a few more moments of passionate kisses and his hands roaming up her shirt, she pulled away, breaking their connection.

"Jack..." she whispered as he devoured her small neck. She giggled, but pulled away. "Jack..." she raised her voice a little more this time. He made a "huh?" sound against her skin, sending shivers down her spine. She reluctantly pushed him away, her hands against his chest, and was met with confused eyes as he searched her face.

"What's the matter?" he asked, truly concerned. She grinned a little, apologetically. Looking down, she grapsed his hands.

"We can't..." her voice sounded defeated as he continued staring at her, still confused.

"Can't what?"

"Do this...," recongnition dawned on his face and he stood up straighter. "I have 5 more weeks before I'm cleared for that. And it's still really sore...down there," she finished the last part shyly, her face growing red. She looked away, and he knew he couldn't be upset about not being able to have her, with her cheeks as red as they were, as much as he wanted her right then, he could wait. Pulling her face back to him, he smiled at her, seeming to ease her embarassment and her uneasiness at having to end their game.

"Okay," he kissed her again, this time sweetly, before helping her off the table. He hugged her again.

"But don't think I don't want to," she spoke into his chest, loving the feeling of his heartbeat against her. He grinned above her head.

"Oh I know. That 5 weeks better come quickly," he teased. She pulled back, rolling her eyes playfully, before moving to the abundance of groceries on the counter than needed to be put away. He moved to help her.

"Maybe we could still snuggle on the couch after we put these away?" she asked shyly, still wanting to be close to him. He grinned, nodding, with a chuckle.

"Of course."

Laying on the couch, entwined in each other's limbs, they watched meaningless television, but enjoyed the relaxingness of it and the feeling of being alone for what seemed like the first time in days. With a baby and a three year old, things were feeling very chaotic, and she felt bad they hadn't had much alone time until now. They were working on a schedule, and Jack was working minimal hours for the next week, helping her get Aaron understanding of Adam's needs of Kate's time, and getting Adam situated on a feeding and napping schedule. Jack adored Kate's hard working mentality because raising two children was no easy feet, especially when he knew eventually his schedule would pick back up and she would be alone a lot of the time with both babies. His mother was a Godsend though, and her father was coming to visit the following week, so he wouldn't feel too bad leaving her then, knowing she had help.

The phone rang, startling their thoughts, and Jack squirmed quickly to get it, before the baby woke. Answering it quietly, he waited for the sound of crying, and let out a relieved sigh when no sound came from the stairs.

"Jack, its your mother." Margo greeted. Jack smiled.

"Hey Mom, what's up?"

"Not too much. Just cleaning and stuff, you know how it it. How is Adam?"

"He's wonderful. Sleeping. So's Aaron. Kate and I are just watching TV." he rubbed her back affectionatly.

"Must be nice to catch a break. What are you doing tomorrow?" She wondered, curious. Jack heard something in her voice he couldn't quite recognise.

"I have to go to work in the morning, but I'll be out by lunch time. Why?"

"Can you come over on your way home? I won't keep you long but there's something I want to show you," she said cryptically. Jack's heart sped up a little.

"What is it?"

"Just come after work and we'll talk." Was all she said before she excused herself and told him goodnight. He clicked off the phone, staring at it for a moment. Kate looked up curiously.

"What?" she asked, not sure what the look on his face was for.

"I don't know. She has something she needs to show me but wouldn't tell me what it was." He shrugged, dropping the cordless phone to the floor. Kate placed her head back against his chest. "I'll stop by there on my way home from work. That okay?"

"Of course. I'll be fine, don't worry." She smiled sweetly at him, before snuggling again back to his chest. He rested his arms around her back. "I wonder what it is" she pondered. He sighed.

"Yeah, me too."

Hope all you enjoyed it! Please read and review! Thank you so much for all of your reviews from the last chapter! New chapter up soon! Excited about where this is going...I wonder what she's going to show Jack... ;-) hmmm...LoL. 237 reviews so far and 18,000 hits. Awesomeness! Thank you all SO much! Please enjoy! :-)


	26. Chapter 26

Chapter 26

Jack parked his rental car in front of his mother's large white house. Emerging from the vehicle, he had moments of memories, being a child in that yard. It always happened as he walked up the drive, feeling like a child again. Sometimes, he even missed his father. Which, some days, surprised him. But now that he was one, a real father to his own son, he felt he missed him more than he thought he ever could.

Walking up the stairs, he opened the large door. "Hi Mom!" He called into the house, shutting the door behind him.

"Jack! I'm in the office!" he heard her response, following her voice to his father's office. He entered tentatively, always fearful automatically upon entering his father's haven, even knowing his father no longer existed in this world. His mother was sitting at his father's desk, and Jack slowly took a seat in one of the large leather chairs across from her. "How was work?" She asked absent mindly as she looked over some papers and pictures laid upon the mahongany desk. Jack smiled, nodding his head from side to side.

"I just had to go in for a meeting. I took some time off to spend with Kate and the boys." He placed one foot on the oposite knee, surveying the mess upon the desk. "What're you doing?" he inquired, curious. She sipped the drink she had next to her, and he noticed the color, and knew what it probably was. He shifted uncomfortably.

"I was looking for something of your father's. But that's not why I wanted you to stop by." She looked up, clasping her hands together, her elbows resting on the desk. "If I ask you something, will you not brush it off in the manner you learned from your father and actually tell me the truth?" He was taken aback by her frankness.

"I wouldn't lie to you, Mom." He countered, unsure of the ground he was on. She grinned and sighed.

"I'm sure. Anyway, the truth?" He felt a knot tie up in his stomach. Gulping silently, he nodded.

"Sure. What's up?"

"Is Aaron really Kate's son?" The question seemed to come out of thin air, and caused the knot to tighten and goosebumps to run along his arms. Unsure of his answer and trying to make himself look unscathed, he nodded.

"Yes, of course. Why would you ask such a thing?" he tried to look as though it was an incredulous question, but knew some color had drained from his cheeks. His mother stood, picking a picture up off the desk, and walked around it, handing the picture to Jack.

"Well, when I first met them, I was surprised someone with as dark of features as Kate would have such a blonde child, but I brushed it off. And then she seemed so nervous about her pregnancy and her birth, that I struggled with the birth of Aaron a little, but again, with all the trauma you all had to go through, I again pushed a nagging feeling aside. But this picture...this picture made me feel my suspisions are correct." Jack scanned the picture. It was taken in the hospital, the day his mother and Aaron had met Adam. Kate was looking at the blonde haired boy, holding Adam, with a sad, teary look on her face. "I snapped that picture when Aaron asked her if he had come from inside her as Adam had. The look in that picture is not one of love, or understanding. It's one of sadness and regret. So, that leads me to believe either Kate's not telling you the truth, or you two aren't telling me the truth." She watched him for a long moment as he took in the picture, and he could feel her eyes bearing into him, begging him for an answer, for truth. He looked up at her, a look of defensiveness and annoyance. What he felt inside was a little fear.

"Why would that matter, Mom?" he cracked, wishing he knew how to lie better to his mother. "You love him just as much as I do, even though we're not related to him," he chose his words carefully, knowing that he was indeed related to the child, but wasn't ready to admit to his mother exactly how that was.

"I do adore him very much, as well as Kate, I just have this feeling you and Kate aren't telling me something..." she drifted off, brushing a piece of her long dark hair off of her shoulder. "Jack, it doesn't matter that much, but it is something I believe I deserve to know." She crossed her arms and stared at her son, who stared at the picture in his hands. He knew the look on Kate's face, and it was everything his mother said it was, because she did regret what had happened to Claire, and he was very much not her biological son. But to the two of them, and even Jack, she was as much his mother as Claire, if not more, having raised him all this time. That wasn't what his mother wanted to hear though.

"Mom, I can't even believe we're having this conversation. Of course Aaron is Kate's son. Leave it at that." He stood, pocketing the picture. "I have to get home." Jack rubbed the bridge of his nose, moving to the door of the office. His mother watched him from her perch against the desk, arms still crossed, a dubious look across her face.

"All right, Jack. Whatever you saw. Pictures speak a thousand words, however, and the one in your pocket says there is something about this plane crash and Kate and Aaron you're not telling me." He moved through the hallway, hearing her words after him, knowing she was right. Mothers always know when their children are lying to him. And Jack knew if his father were here, he would have known immediately that Jack was not telling the truth. Closing the door to the house behind him, he felt angry. On one hand he felt his mother deserved the truth, but the truth was even more complicated and against more moral codes than he was ready to admit to himself, let alone anyone else. On the car ride home, he debated what he would tell Kate about what his mother had wanted. Again, the words _tell her the truth_ flashed through his mind, and he then thought of all the secrets he kept from Kate. Not to mention all the secrets she kept from him. This concerned Aaron though, and even though he knew they were in no danger if they never told his mother, he feared the paranoia that would grow if other people wondered that same fact. And what about Claire's mother? Hurley's words ran through Jack's head "_You're not supposed to raise him," _and Jack pulled the car over, feeling his chest constrict. He felt all of the fears he had supressed about the Island rise back within him and that nagging feeling about how wrong their lie had been. Rubbing his temples, he encouraged himself to take deep breathes. He could feel the panic attack coming on, something he had struggled with before, after his first encounter with Hurley at Santa Rosa, and tried to calm himself. Reaching into his glove box, he pulled out a sample box of two pills he had kept for moments such as this. Ripping open the box, he through the pills in his mouth, swallowing them, and then resting his head against his steering wheel for a moment, willing the drugs to take effect and for his heart rate to slow. He immediately felt regret at having taken them, but knew that he was in no shape to continue his drive home, or let alone hide his fears from Kate, without the sedatives. Taking a deep breath, he put the car in drive, and pulled back out onto the road, finishing his drive home.

* * *

Kate heard the front door open and shut from her place on the floor in the living room and grinned. Standing, she checked Adam, who was asleep in his bouncy seat, and Aaron who was napping on the couch, before moving into the kitchen. She looked toward the door, but noticed no sight of Jack. She made her way to the door, and noticed his suit coat slung over the banister, by the knob at the end. Heading up the stairs, she saw the door to their bedroom was half shut. Opening it curiously, she saw Jack lying on their bed, his eyes closed, his breathing heavy. Her brow furrowed, she made her way to him, sitting down next to him.

"Jack.." she spoke softly, touching his arm.

"Hmm?" escaped his lips as his eyes opened briefly before closing again.

"You okay?" she asked, putting her hand on his forehead. He was warm, but not feverish.

"Yeah, just not feeling well. I'm going to nap for a bit, if that's okay," He never opened his eyes while speaking, and it concerned her a little. She smiled sympathetically.

"Sure. Go ahead and nap and I'll come check on you later." Kissing his forehead, she stood and made her way back downstairs to check on her other napping babies. Feeling like she had a few extra minutes to herself, she grabbed a bottle of nail polish and a book off the counter, and headed to the den, where she would do her toenails and read for a little bit, before everyone woke. Though she was worried about Jack, she just assumed he had a stomach bug or something, and would wait and see how he felt when he woke up. She wondered in the back of her mind if he had gone to see his mother and made a mental note to ask him about it later.

* * *

Sooo...thanks again for all the reviews. I know this chapter is not as long as everyone would like, but I wanted to end it there for now. Let me know what you guys think! :-D Thank you again for all your patience! I will definitely get two chapters out next week!


	27. Chapter 27

Chapter 27 (sometimes I can't believe I've made it this far...hehe)

Thank you to everyone who reviews, you make me want to continue writing this. To those who do not review, I would still love to hear your thoughts. And to **Jimelda** for always being encouraging and allowing me to bounce ideas off of her :-) Thank you!

It stormed while I wrote this chapter and I feel as though it fit my writing mood :-)

Songs used:

"Even the Trees" Hootie and the Blowfish (Second to last scene-the lyrics are there but I recommend listening to it)

"Farewell" Rosie Thomas (last scene-again listen because it really fits well with what I wrote)

On to the chapter...

* * *

_Trust in me, trust in me_

_Don't pull away_

_Just trust in me, trust in me _

_Cause I'm just trying to keep this together_

_Cause I could do worse and you could do better -_Marianas Trench "Beside You"

Jack wandered down the stairs to the delicious smell of Kate's cooking, feeling much better than he had. He had mentally slapped himself around for having taken those pills, even though in the moment he had felt like they were what he had needed. He knew now, because of how far he had come, he should have just gone home and held Kate and his babies and confessed his concerns and fears to her. They had been through this much. How could his mother's inqueries be anything worse?

He grinned a little despite himself, at her holding their infant son in one arm and busying herself in the kitchen. She was a miracle worker, even one handed. She was humming to herself as she fixed dinner, which appeared to be a homemade vegetable soup, probably because he had said he didn't feel well. She was so thoughtful, always thinking of their family. The sun was still sinking in the hazy sky and Aaron was playing on the den floor with his Star Wars action figures. He walked to Kate in the kitchen, who greeted him with a sincere smile.

"Hey" she greeted, standing on her toes for a kiss. "How are you feeling?" She paused only for a moment, before moving to sprinkle the pinch of salt in her fingers over the steaming pot of liquid and then stirring it, her eyes barely taken away from him for a mere moment. He grinned at the content baby in her arms, reaching for him.

"Much better. I was feeling really tired, and my stomach wasn't right," he felt bad lying but how was he supposed to tell the truth now? She'd be so dissapointed in him.

"Well I'm glad you're feeling better. I made some soup too, to quicken the process." She watched him rock Adam in his arms, talking quietly to him, and felt her heart warm.

"How was your day?"

"Great. We played, they napped while you did, and I managed to sneak in a little reading and a pedicure," she smiled a cute smile at him, and wiggled her pink toes at him. He laughed.

"They look great. What a multitasker you are," he chuckled, kissing her forehead. She shrugged her shoulders in agreement with a grin and stirred the soup again.

"How was your mom's?" She questioned curiously, and for a moment he faltered. She noticed the tension that crossed his features, and he did his best to brush it off before she did, but she had.

"It was fine. She just had to show me something." was all he responded with, continuing to talk to Adam. She looked at him, but didn't press the issue, knowing he didn't feel well and knowing she'd get it out of him eventually. She suspected it had something to do with his father.

"Oh. Can you get Aaron a glass of apple juice, dinner is ready." He nodded silently, moving to the refridgerator, and she called for the blonde haired boy, "Sweet Pea, dinner's ready." The tiny bundle of energy came hopping around the corner, a grin on his small face.

"Hi Daddy. Do you feel better?" He greeted Jack with a hug on the leg, before climbing into his seat. Jack was always so enthralled with the child, but felt a tinge of uneasiness upon seeing him for the first time since his conversation with his mother.

"I do, kiddo. Thank you," he placed the small cup in front of Aaron and kissed the top of his head. "Did you have a good day?"

"Yeah. We watched cartoons, and then I took a nap, and then we had chicken nuggets for lunch." He made a face as Kate placed the "Finding Nemo" bowl in front of him.

"Eat up, goober. It's full of wonderful goodness for your little growing tummy," she tickled his stomach for effect and he laughed gleefully before picking up his spoon. Jack marveled for a moment at what a well behaved child they had raised. That Kate had raised. He thought for a moment that Claire would be impressed, before he pushed the thoughts away, placing the baby in his carrier on the table.

"This smells delicious, Kate," he complimented, sitting in his chair. She sat across from him, her cheeks turning a pinkish hue, as she surveyed Adam's situation, making sure he was happy, which he seemed to be.

"Thank you. A healthy vegetable soup just for you to make you feel better. I hope it works." She caught his eye for a moment and they shared a look of sweet love before beginning to eat their dinner.

* * *

Jack settled Adam into his basinette and then moved to Aaron's room to tuck him in a kiss him goodnight. Jack kissed his forehead and wished a thousand times over he could find the words to tell Kate all his thoughts and fears, but as soon as he moved to say words to her, they died on his lips, more fear replacing them. Turning off the light and shutting the door, he heard the house door shut and moved to the stairs, wondering where Kate had gone.

Reaching the bottom of the stairs, he walked into the kitchen. Her back was to him and he could see she was holding something. Upon hearing his footprints, she turned, and the questioning anger in her eyes almost knocked him over. She just stared at him, her stance defensive. In her hands were the pill box and the picture from his mother. He cursed himself for having left those two things in the front seat of the car.

"Kate?" he spoke cautiously, taking a step toward her. As she shifted her weight, he stopped, unsure of how to continue.

"What is this?" she asked evenly, showing him the box. He took a deep breath, suddenly feeling it was hard to breathe. Kate felt her heart pounding, dying for an answer, dying to know what he was doing, and how long it had been going on for. He had been doing so well, or maybe it was the drugs he was taking. Her eyes darkened at him.

"It's an anti-anxiety medication. It's a sample..." He tried to read her but she was keeping all her feelings, besides her anger, to herself.

"Why do you have an empty anti-anxiety pill box in your car?" He took a deep breath, reeling at her question because he didn't want to answer it. Rubbing a hand over his head, he sighed.

"Because sometimes, Kate, I feel anxious, and it helps calm me down." Her eyes flashed and he hurried to continue, "I haven't taken them in a long time, but after the conversation my mother and I had, I felt really upset, and it was all I could do to keep from having a panic attack." he felt embarassed admitting it to her, but knew he had no choice.

"Jack...what's Clonazapam?" he was slightly floored by the question, suddenly remembering the pill bottle from months before.

"It's also an anti-anxiety medication-" she sighed angrily, crumbling the box in her hand. "Kate, please listen to me-"

"Why? I don't understand why you continue to be dishonest with me. Are you even still going to your meetings?" She demanded.

"Before you had Adam I was going three times a week. I haven't been since he was born, but that's only because I wanted to be here for you!" He felt helpless, knowing he was saying all the wrong things.

"You haven't had a drink, have you?" She sucked in a breath. He shook his head vehemently, moving closer to her.

"No, of course not! Kate, I haven't taken anything since we got back together, I promise! Just today, after what my mom said-" She stormed away from him, waiving the picture.

"What is this picture, Jack?"

"My mother took it at the hospital. She questioned me about it today." He shook his head, sighing, knowing he had to confess everything to her.

"About what?" Kate demanded, crossing her arms.

"She asked me if Aaron was really your son." he felt defeated, knowing this would crush her.

"What?" she whispered, her face falling from anger to questioning. Jack shrugged, rubbing his face.

"She knows he's not your's. I didn't admit it, but she knows, Kate. She says the look on your face in that picture says it all. And she suspected before that." Kate stared at the picture and he feared her next move. He saw a single tear slide down her cheek.

"I'm a good mother to him. Why would she question me?" He moved to her, reaching to touch her arms.

"She's a mother, too, Kate. She knows things. And Aaron and you don't look a thing alike, it's true. But that does not mean you are not a good mother to him." She shook him off, pushing him away.

"What did you say?"

"I denied it. Told her it didn't matter. It doesn't."

"Then why did you have to take medication to get over it?" Another tear slid down her cheek, and he felt a piece of his heart break.

"Do you remember what Hurley said to me, about how I'm not supposed to raise Aaron? Well it all came rushing back to me when my mother brought up how she thinks he's not yours and then I had this flash that maybe I'm not supposed to raise him, maybe Hurley was right. And then I remember our fight last year and all my anxiety about the Island, and it all became too much..." he drifted off, turning his back to her to regain himself. When he turned back she was holding herself, tears sliding down her face.

"Jack, what does Hurley know? You said it yourself, he's crazy! Medication doesn't fix things, Jack. It just covers it up." She threw the box at his feet and rushed past him. "I wish for once you could just talk to me about things and not hide all this stuff from me. I deserve to know that someone thinks my son isn't mine!" He grabbed her arm, his own anger boiling now. Who was she to talk about secrets? This coming from the woman who, when they had first met, had been a fugitive, and had just neglected to tell him that?

"Don't you think I deserve to know things too, Kate? What about our last fight, huh? The one where I asked you where you had been and you told me to 'just leave it be'? You didn't tell _me_ the truth." Holding her arm, he stared into her watery eyes. "So tell me now, Kate, what is the truth? Where were you that night?" his voice was just above a whisper, but the anger was evident. She let out a sob, pulling from his grip.

"You really want to know?" She spat back. "Sawyer has a daughter, named Clementine. I have been checking up on her. That's what I promised him. That I would tell her he was sorry!" She angrily wiped at her tears. "Her mother has become a friend of mine. One of my only friends!"

"Sawyer has a daughter? Of course he does, that's perfect. Why would you lie about that?" He paced a moment, his hands on his hips.

"Because he wouldn't want you to know!"

"And that's where you were? With her?"

"With Cassidy, yes."

"Why would you check up on his daughter, Kate? Why do you care so much?"

"Because he's my friend. And he asked me too!" Her eyes were so angry, he felt like she was growling at him. "Are you happy now? Now that you know? That's it! That's the big secret!" She threw her arms out in exasperation before walking past him again, into the living room. He followed her. He hadn't meant to make her this upset.

"Kate! Kate, stop!" he grabbed at her again, and she whipped around, pushing him.

"Don't touch me." She hissed, and he felt taken aback by the pain in her eyes. "I promised myself if you did this again, I would kick you out."

"Kate...please..." he turned came back from his defensiveness, knowing he had to fix this. He reached for her again and she jerked away, placing her hands on her hips.

"We have a baby, Jack. I don't want to do this alone, but I can't do this with you drugged out either." Her chest heaved with sobs, as the tears fell. He felt his own eyes tear up, feeling helpless at saving himself from this argument. He felt her punishment was unfair, she didn't understand what he was dealing with inside.

"Kate, it was just today! I made a mistake! It was just two pills. I haven't done anything in so long. My anxiety...somtimes its too much. I'm sorry." He begged, trying to ease her pain. She kept shaking her head.

"I'm sorry, too," she sobbed, locking eyes with him.

"Kate, please don't do this..."

"Go. Please." She wrapped her arms around herself as if to protect herself from this situation. She wasn't asking him to leave, she was telling him.

"Kate-"

"Leave." The word came out as more of a sob than anything. He sighed, defeated. Turning, he walked toward the the kitchen. Grabbing his keys, he stopped. He looked at her, his own eyes releasing tears.

"I love you." Was all he said before he walked out the front door. Kate crumbled to the floor, her sobs overcoming her. She wanted to run out after him and tell him she didn't mean it, but she was so tortured by the fact he needed seditives to survive. How hard was their life? And having to tell him about her promise to Sawyer made her feel as though she'd broken a pact amongst friends. She knew Jack would look down on him for that, but who was he to talk? Leaning her head against the couch, she cried hard, releasing her own anxieties and devastations into the cushions. Where did they go from here?

* * *

_Alone as I sit and watch the trees  
Won't you tell me if I scream will they bend down and listen to me  
And it makes me wonder if I know the words will you come  
Or will you laugh at me  
Or will I run  
_

Margo woke quickly to the sound of her front door. Listening for a moment, she heard footsteps in her foyer, and knew she had locked her door before going to bed. Grabbing her robe, she knew who it must be. Glancing at the clock, it wasn't late, but later than she would expect him for a visit. Heading down the stairs, she moved to the kitchen, where her only son sat, his head in his hands.

_Little boy says to me,  
"Where you goin' now son"  
I said, "I don't know where I'm goin' boy  
I only know where I'm from"  
And it makes me wonder  
If the stars shine when my eyes close  
Or does my brothers heart cry  
I don't know_

"Jack?" She questioned, concerned. Walking to him, she placed a hand on his strong back. "Is everything all right?" He took a deep, shaky breath.

"I lied." Her brow furrowed and she looked at him, confused.

_I'm a stranger in my home  
Now that everybody's gone  
Someone please talk to me  
Cause I feel you cry  
And you're sitting with him  
And I know I'll never see you again_

"You lied? About what?" she encouraged, sitting down next to him. He lifted his head and his eyes were red like the night she had caught him trying to drink her vodka, but this time there was sadness too.

"About everything. Everything is a lie." A tear escaped his eye but he whisked it away. She waited for him to continue, unsure of where he was going or what he was talking about.

_Lying down in Charleston under the Carolina sky  
You see I'm tired of feeling this pain  
I'm tired of living my own little lie  
And it makes me wonder  
When I see you in my dreams  
Does it mean anything  
Are you trying to talk to me_

"Jack, have you been drinking?" He stood angrily at this question, the chair making a screech sound as he jerked it back.

"Why does everyone assume I'm always on drugs or drinking?" he exclaimed, outraged. "No, I haven't, mother." He paced a moment.

"Then what are you talking about Jack? You're not making any sense to me."

"Everything. Aaron, our rescue, what really happened. Everything." He leaned against the counter. "Kate kicked me out."

"What? Why?" Margo demanded.

"Because our lies are eating at us. This whole situation is a mess. I love her so much, Mom. And I'm so happy with her. But everything else is a mess. And all I can ever think about it how we so incredibly messed up by leaving that Island." Margo tried to follow the track of his rants but she was lost at the last sentence.

"What island, Jack?"

"The one we were on for 108 days. The one I lied about having lived on after the plane crashed there." He dropped his head, as if in defeat. "Our whole story is a lie, Mom." Though confused, Margo felt this was a turning point for her son. She stood quietly, starting the coffee maker. Placing a comforting hand on his back, he raised his head to look at her and the look in his hazel eyes broke her heart.

_I'm a stranger in my home  
Tell me are you feeling alone  
Someone tell me what to do..._

"Jack," she started, a sympathetic tone in her voice, "Why don't you start at the beginning?"

* * *

_Farewell so long cause  
I was wrong I guess  
Farewell so long cause  
I was wrong I confess  
_

Kate lay on their couch, tears still streaming. Her wedding video played along the television screen. She clutched a pillow to her chest as she cried, watching all the happiness surounding them that day. The day had been amazing, she thought, as she relived it along the screen. But now, after their fight, she struggled with how right it had been. Maybe they couldn't do this, maybe they just felt they had to be together because who else would understand what they had been through?

_I miss the way you  
I miss the way you danced with me  
I miss the way you  
I miss the way you danced with me_

Watching her first dance with Jack, she sobbed harder, if it was possible. She felt her heart break with every step they danced. She watched him smile at her, the way he seemed to see only her. Her eyes were locked on his, joy radiating from them. The way her pregnant belly lay against him had made her heart race that day at the road that they had laid ahead of them. But now that they were there she felt foolish for ever feeling that way.

_So farewell my love  
Cause I was wrong I guess  
Farewell so long  
Cause I was wrong I confess_

She wished she hadn't lied to him. She wished he hadn't lied to her. She wished they could tell each other the truth. They had so much history together, with everything they had survived. They couldn't even make a marriage work. Watching her and Jack cut the cake make her heart break more. She laughed through her tears momentarily as she watched herself shove cake in Jack's mouth, before the laugh was replaced by another sob.

_I miss the way you  
I miss the way you sing with me  
I miss the way you  
I miss the way you sing with me_

She was angry at him. For what he had done to her. Picking up the pieces of her heart the first time had almost killed her. And though he had come back, and they had made it work, she didn't know they could do that this time. Not with his mother wondering if Aaron really belonged to her. Not to mention all the lies that surrounded them.

Aaron. A sob escaped her lips for him this time. He didn't belong to her. Not completely. He belonged to her because he thought he did, but he belonged to Jack more. They were at least blood relatives. She wasn't related to him, Jack was right. And maybe she had done the wrong thing by taking him off the Island. Maybe he was meant to stay there and wait for Claire to come back. What if Jack really wasn't meant to raise him, as he kept telling her he wasn't?

_I never asked you for  
A sailboat in the yard  
That fancy dress to wear  
A ceiling made of stars  
And all I got was just this  
Broken heart from you_

As the video played across the screen, she missed him. Already. He'd only been gone a couple of hours, and she yearned for him to come back through the door, saying he was sorry and that they would work things out. But she didn't know, at this point, if that was possible. Her heart broke for all the things that had happened between them on the island and for all things they had been at home. But most of all, her heart broke because she had never thought it would have been possible to love someone so much and yet feel like there was no way they could ever go back to the way they had been.

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I hope you guys liked it...please review! I'm dying to know what you thought. :-)


	28. Chapter 28

Chapter 28

What amazing reviews I recieved! You all are so wonderful! They were truly insightful and inspiring to me. Thank you so much! I guess Jate tugs at everyone's heartstrings, huh?

This is all a road to get somewhere so hang in there, I'm not killing Jate off :-P Lets just see if they can get their freakin' acts together and stop keeping so much stuff to themselves. Communication is key in a marriage. And even on the show, Jack and Kate were not really good at talking about their feelings about things, especially about each other. At least they've got that down in this story lol. Lets see if they can work on the rest.

Thank you again for the reviews! I've been dying to post this chapter because of how awesomely reviewed the last one was. And to those first time reviewers, yours were greatly appreciated :-) Thank you all for taking the time. I'm over 20,000 hits now and almost 280 reviews! *squeals with joy* I'm so happy so many people enjoy this story as much as I enjoy writing it. Thank you.

All right, enough jibber-jabber.

Oh, and please be kind on my small beginning summary of Jack's story of what happened to his mother. Clearly he's a character so he doesn't know everything we know about what has/is/did happen because he can't watch the show LOL. Annnd it's a Cliff's Notes version because if I sat here and tried to type out everything that Jack would have to tell his mother...well that would be a novel in and of itself. Okay, just wanted to clarify that. Thanks.

Oh and I haven't done a disclaimer in a long time-I do not own any of the characters I am writing about (except Adam), they all belong to ABC, the creators, producers, writers, etc. I only own Adam :-) Yay for baby Jate!

* * *

_I hoped that you could understand  
That this is not what I had planned  
Please dont worry now  
It will turn around_

-Needtobreathe "Need More Time"

* * *

The clock ticked in the plush kitchen and for the last few moments had been the only thing he could hear. His mother sat across from him digesting the words he had just spoken. He had just told her the entire story of their 108 days on the Island, trying to make things make sense to his mother that barely made sense to him at all. How the plane crashed, his rise to defacto leader of the survivors, his hesitant infatuation with then stand-offish, skitish Kate, and his immediate disdain with a southern, cowboy-like character by the name of Sawyer. He told her about married couple Jin and Sun, and how she knew English but didn't let anyone know for a period of time. He talked of John Locke, and how he continuously believed the Island had 'magic powers' and kept telling Jack to believe in 'destiny', and Boone and Shannon, brother and sister only by marriage, and then Boone's death and Shannon's death. He told Margo about Sayid and Hurley and the large role they played in their escape from the Island, about Charlie, and later Desmond, describing how he had met him before he had even begun dating Sarah, and how it was actually him who brought the plane down. He told her of Michael and Walt, and a young blonde pregnant woman name Claire. He skipped over the details of her for that moment, knowing he would have to return to her later. There were so many things to tell her, so many people involved, and it was such a long story, it was complicated to tell.

Margo had sipped her coffee and listened intently to her son, trying to follow along. Some of the things he said sounded like they were out of a science fiction book, or from a movie, and she struggled at points to believe some of the things he said. She recognised only a few of the names, the rest of the Oceanic Six, and tried to keep the rest of the people he spoke of straight. She asked questions along the way to keep things straight but it was difficult. She was patient with him though, because the more he talked, and the more tears he shed, made her realize how much her son had gone through.

She finally looked up at him and tried to fomulate any kind of comment or question but struggled with what to say, how to respond to such a heartbreaking, yet heroic story.

"Jack...I can't...I don't even know what to say." The clock chimed four o'clock in the morning and both peered at it, unable to move.

"Now do you see why we couldn't tell the truth? I bet you don't even believe half of what I just said." Jack ran an exasperated palm over his short hair and sighed heavily. She reached and touched his hand.

"Jack, if you were ten years old, I would have my reservations about your story, but you're an adult. I believe everything you just said and am so, so grateful you made it back home alive. You were a hero, even though you couldn't save everyone, and you have to stop beating yourself up about things you can't change." He listened to her and saw the sincere love in her eyes, and felt comforted. Not enough though, to fix what he was about to say.

"There's only one part I left out." he started, reserved.

"What could that possibly be?" Margo laughed, trying to lighten the mood. He rung his hands together before looking back up at her.

"The blonde, pregnant girl, Claire," he paused taking a deep breath, "She's Aaron's real mother." He allowed her to digest the small nugget of information before continuing. "Kate delivered Aaron on the Island because I was busy trying to save Boone's life. When Claire dissapeared, Kate took it upon herself to look after Aaron. And then when we made it to Penny's boat, she told me she wanted to tell everyone he was her's because she couldn't bear to lose him like we had lost everyone else." A lone tear slid down his scruffy cheek. "And then, at Dad's funeral, a woman approached me, and told me that she believed she knew the reason he went to Australia, right before he died," he paused to steady himself, and to gauge his mother's reaction so far,"She told me that Dad had a daughter there, and that she was on the same plane back from Australia. She was Claire, Aaron's mother. Aaron's my nephew." He covered his face, allowing a moment of shame and sadness to escape him, before looking back at his mother. She was sullen, silent, her face blank.

"Your father did a lot of things I never approved of when he was alive, but I never thought he would sink low enough to produce another child with someone else, in a different country, none the less. That explains all of his traveling when you were a child..." she stood, walking to an opposite cabinet from where the coffee pot was, pulling out a bottle of whiskey and pouring herself a small glass. She leaned against the counter, unable, it seemed, to register the information he had given her. "What was her name?"

"Claire. Claire Littleton."

"And she died?"

"Well, we aren't sure. She just dissapeared. Sawyer found Aaron in the jungle." Jack felt bad for telling his mother this way but felt such a weight off his shoulders by telling someone the whole truth. "She was going to give Aaron up for adoption anyway, Kate told me later."

"Your father had another family...I can't believe it." She sat down next to him and Jack wrapped an arm around her.

"I don't think he had another family, Mom. I think it was an accident. Her mother, at the funeral, when I asked her why he would go to Australia to see her, she said that he didn't go there to see her, but Claire."

"Only your father, Jack." She leaned against her son, searching for comfort. "Thank you for telling me, Jack." He kissed her hair, and held her a moment before she stood, whisking away any tears from her face. Turning to face him, she seemed to have pushed away her own emotions and focused on him. "So, what are you going to do?" She asked, somewhat critically. He blinked, waiting to answer.

"Umm..well I don't know. I want to go back to Kate but I know she doesn't want to see me right now." He sighed heavily, placing his chin in his hand. "What should I do?"

"I think you need to really think about this for a second. You survived a plane crash on an Island where strange things happen. You meet a beautiful woman, you fall in love with her, you go through everything you did trying to rescue everyone, you rescue her, you marry her, and now you're going to let the thing that brought you two together tear you apart?"

"Well, I-"

"I think you need to re-evaluate the most important things to you. This Island, this..._place_ you were for 108 days, it meant something to you, it was a test, maybe a trial, if you will, and you survived it. Now, I don't know if you should go back because to me, your mother, I don't like that idea one bit. But if you think its what you need to do, to save your marriage, to find you half-sister, whatever, then that's what you need to do." She seemed sure of her words, and Jack wondered for a split second if he had made her mad enough to wish he would go back there, away from her.

"Mom, are you okay?"

"Jack, I'm fine. Your father has been dead for over three years, and though I loved him, he was a difficult man to love let alone be married to. Am I surprised he had affairs? No, and I'm sure Claire's mother wasn't the first. I am shocked that he made the mistake of having another child, that makes me angry, but I'm fine, Jack. Our marriage wasn't perfect by any means." She cupped his face with her hands. "Just promise me you will never do that to Kate. Have some dignity for her and for yourself, okay?" Jack nodded silently, knowing he never could. He loved Kate too much. "Now what are you going to do?" She finished her whiskey and turned to him, waiting expectantly for an answer.

"I'm going to go to bed and fix this in the morning, I think."

"Are you going to go back?" she asked the question strongly, but quietly. He was quiet a long moment before he answered her.

"I don't know." And the truth was, he didn't know. He stood, feeling exhausted all of a sudden. He turned toward the kitchen doorway and began out of the kitchen before she called after him.

"Jack, about what I said, all that time ago..." She took a deep breath and seemed to bite back a sob, "You do understand what its like to be under pressure. And you knew, all that time, all those years your father was hard on you. I'm sorry I was so hard on you too. You turned out to be a good boy," He gave her a weak smile and she returned it, before turning away, placing her hand over her mouth. He left her there, and made his way to his old bedroom.

* * *

Kate woke the next morning to a throbbing headache and the chilling feeling of lonliness. The baby was crying quietly in his crib and she sighed, quickly rising. Picking Adam up, she softly shushed him, rocking him gently. She glanced at the clock, noticing it was already 7am. Settling on the bed, she nursed the baby, planning out her day in her head. She wondered what she would tell Aaron about Jack, and decided that a business trip was the best thing. That way Aaron wouldn't expect Jack for a few days and by then Kate would have a plan, and would know what she was going to do.

She burped Adam when he was finished, before moving to change him, and wake Aaron. Upon the three of them reaching the quiet kitchen, Aaron asked for Jack, as she had suspected he would.

"Where's Daddy?" the young child asked, rubbing his sleepy eyes, dragging his Killer Whale behind him. Kate's heart fell for the child.

"He had to leave for a last minute work trip, sweet pea. He didn't want to wake you because he knows how hard it is for you to go back to sleep." She kissed the top of his head after he had climbed into his chair, awaiting his breakfast. She placed Adam in his bouncy seat, strapping him in and then busied herself turning on the television, and then making breakfast for her son. She washed them, dressed them, showered and dressed herself and after putting Adam down for a nap, and placing Aaron in front of a movie, hoping he also would fall asleep, she kept herself busy, cleaning and doing laundry. She pushed herself through, trying not to get upset, having not yet heard from Jack.

She didn't know why she had reacted the way she did. In retrospect she wished she had just made him feel really bad about it and she wished she could take it all back. But she also knew, now raising a biological son with him, it was a different situation. She couldn't risk anything now. And though she trusted Jack very much, she still knew he had his issues. And though she didn't think he was a true alcoholic or drug addict, he struggled with moments of weakness that weren't ever good for him.

Working room to room, she made beds, picked up dirty laundry and put away clean clothes. When she got to her closet, though, her heart broke. His clothes all still hung in their same spots, after all, he'd only been gone a little over twelve hours. Touching the suits tenderly, she momentarily lifted a sleeve to her small nose, inhaling his scent. The small gesture sent her emotions over the edge, and tears spilled from her tired eyes before she even knew what was happening. Bringing the chest of the suit to her face, she silenced her sobs with it, and let the scent comfort her, and yet destroy her.

Kate sobbed for what she'd said, and for what she hadn't. For the promises she had broken and the secrets she had kept. She had made so many mistakes. She didn't want to lose him, and stuggled because she felt she was going to, if she hadn't pushed him out already. The fact he hadn't called, made her feel as though he didn't care. How could he not though, how could he not care after everything? They were married, for goodness sake. She cried into the suit coat like it was her lifeline. Pulling it off the hanger she crumbled to the ground for the second time in two days, holding it to her.

She cried for what seemed like an eternity to her, before she heard small steps. She barely had time to stand before Aaron made his way around the doorway into the closet.

"Mommy? Why are you crying?" His tiny, innocent voice asked. She wiped violently at her tears. Before she could answer, he wrapped his little arms around her legs, and spoke words that made her die a little inside, "I miss Daddy too." She felt her heart ripped out of her chest. Kneeling, she embraced the child tightly, rubbing his back, trying not to sob against him. There were no words to be said, Kate just felt grateful she wasn't alone.

* * *

Rain pounded against Jack's windshield as he drove around town, thinking about Kate. Trying to decide what to do. When he woke without her, in his childhood bedroom, the feeling of failure and regret had filled him. He had no belongings and was now dressed in a pair of his father's khakis and a button down, his mother having not been able to get rid of all of his father's things. She had seemed all right as they had shared coffee and the paper, and he determined that maybe she wasn't that surprised by what he had said. Either way, he had to acknowledge how much better he felt now, having gotten everything off his chest. Picking up his cell phone for the umpteenth time, he contemplated calling Kate, but decided he would let her come to him, since she was the one who had told him to leave. Granted he had said some things he shouldn't have, he felt he was the one who was in trouble, the one who had made the mistep, and he had. Taking those pills was something he would regret for the rest of his life, especially if they couldn't fix this.

His thoughts kept drifting back to the Island. They had met there, as if by destiny or fate or whatever it was Locke had kept telling him about. Would they be able to reconnect if they went back? Were they meant to give Aaron back to Claire? Was she even still alive? So many thoughts filled his head. Why did he have these problems?

Reaching for his phone, he dialed the number of an old friend.

"Hello? "

"Sayid. Hey, it's Jack."

"Jack! How are you?" the Iraqi greeted his friend, "How's Kate and the new baby?" Jack let out a nervous laugh.

"Ehh, could be better. Have time to grab a drink?" There was a silence on the end of the line before Sayid spoke.

"Jack, I don't think-"

"No, no, Sayid. A non-alcoholic drink."

"Ohh, sure. Where?" The men exchange a location and Jack made his way through downtown Los Angeles, headed for the pub they had decided on. Upon entering, he took a seat at the bar and ordered a soda water with lime, as Sayid arrived, who ordered a coffee.

"So, what's going on, Jack? Is everything all right?" The dark haired man started, glancing at the tired man next to him. Jack sighed, twisting his glass on the mahogany bar.

"Kate and I had a fight. She threw me out." Sayid's brow furrowed and he seemed surprised.

"Really? What happened?" Sayid asked compassionatly. Jack shook his head, shrugging.

"We had a fight. About everything and nothing at the same time." He rubbed a hand over his un-shaved face. Sayid remained silent. "I said some things, she said some things, and then she told me to leave."

"Have you fought like this before?"

"Just once, before we got married, when I was drinking and taking those pills. This is the first time since."

"What started it?"

"I took two anti-anxiety pills and she found the box. My mother confronted me about Aaron and it sent me off the deep end a little."

"She asked you about Aaron?"

"She wanted to know if he was Kate's real son."

"You lied, right?"

"Yes." Jack thought it best not to tell anyone he had talked to his mother, at least no one but Kate.

"Have you talked to Kate since you two fought?"

"No," Jack shook his head, defeated. "She kicked me out, I didn't want to call her if she's not ready to talk."

"Jack, you can always call to apologize. Married people fight all the time. Nadia and I have our moments, everyone does. It's normal, and okay. What you did was wrong but I'm sure she's made her mistakes too." Jack chose to stay silent and not tell his friend what Kate had promised Sawyer. "What did you plan to do?" Sayid asked sympathetically.

"I don't know, that's why I called you. You know the whole story, and you know Kate almost as well as I do. What do you think I should do?" Jack felt helpess, and knew that with Sayid having spent as much time on the Island with Kate as he had, maybe he would have some outside insight to the situation.

"Kate is a stubborn woman, but she cares very much. And I bet she's waiting for you to call her. Or simply go by and see her. That's what I always do. I always go back." He sipped his coffee and Jack thought about what his friend suggested.

"Just go home and tell her I'm sorry?"

"Yes. I almost guarentee she will break." The dark man gave Jack a grin and placed a hand on his shoulder. "You look terrible, my friend. Go home." Jack laughed, agreeing.

"Thank you, Sayid."

"Anytime, my friend, anytime."

* * *

Night had fallen and still no word from Jack. Kate had put her babies to bed, and was lying on the couch, flipping channels. She felt so tired she could barely keep her eyes open, but had no desire to go upstairs to her lonely bed. Her eyes were red and swollen from crying again after Aaron had asked her why Jack hadn't called to say goodnight, and she hadn't had an answer. Why hadn't he called, she wondered. She felt bad, wishing he would just come back, or call at least. She had made a mistake, had been not nearly as understanding as she should have been, being his wife. Marriage was about understanding and communication, and truthfully, neither of them were very good at that sometimes.

Snuggling up to a soft pillow, she allowed her mind to wander back to simpler times, on the Island, when they had still been learning about one another. Sometimes she wished they were back there, things didn't seem as complicated there as they did in the real world. She felt if she closed her eyes hard enough, she could feel the beach breeze, and the sun on her face. How long it had been since she had felt the warmth of the sun. She made a mental note to take Aaron outside more, to the beach more, to teach her boys how wonderful being outside was. As soon as she was fully healed from childbirth, she would take Aaron out and teach him about nature as her father had taught her. She subconsiously envisioned Jack with them.

Her thoughts were interupted by a soft knock on her door. Standing, she walked toward the front door, unable to see anything outside as her porch light was off. She could hear the rain tapping against her roof and wondered who would visit this time of night in this weather. Flipping on the light and unlocking the door, she swung it open, reveiling a wet, hopeful looking Jack, holding a bouquet of daisies. Her face mirrored her surprise, and she felt as though a weight had been lifted.

"Jack..." she greeted, her voice breathless with subtle excitement. His hopeful look grew more hopeful, and yet sheepish at the same time.

"Hi Kate." He stood up staighter and handed her the flowers. "I'm sorry we fought, and I'm sorry I took the pills. I should have taken my anxiety to you, I was just overwhelmed. I'm so sorry." She took the bouquet from him, bringing them to her nose with a small grin. As he spoke she listened intently. When he grew silent, she spoke sincerely.

"I'm sorry too, Jack. I overreacted. I was just so afraid of what might have been going on and I couldn't bare the thought of losing you to your vices again." She took a breath before continuing. "And then when you told me about what your mother said, and then brought up Sawyer..." she drifted off, exhausted tears filling her eyes. He moved to her, placing his hands on her shoulders.

"Shh. What we said has been said. We can't take it back. I know you're sorry, and I'm sorry. We can only move foreward from this, whereever that might be." He searched her face for her response. "I love you, Kate. And the babies. I can't be without you." He dipped his head and engulfed her lips in a tender, gentle kiss. She waited before kissing back, and he felt it was as if she were savoring the moment, because he knew he was. There was no question to either of them who they belonged with.

When the rain began to pour harder, they broke apart. Thunder clapped, causing Kate to jump and Jack laugh innocently at her. She grinned and moved back into the foyer, inviting him to join her. She shut the door behind him as he pulled off his rain coat and hung it up to dry. Kate carried her flowers into the kitchen, and began trimming them, getting them ready for the vase they would be in. Jack sat on the counter top and watched her.

"Thank you for the daisies Jack. They're so beautiful." She smiled sweetly at him as she groomed the flowers.

"You're welcome. I hear thats what men are supposed to do when their sorry." He chuckled and she laughed along with him. A moment of comfortable silence followed before Kate tentatively spoke.

"Umm, I'm really tired. And I know we need to talk but I'm just so glad you're home.." she stopped what she was doing and moved to stand between his legs. "But do you mind if we just go to bed and talk tomorrow? If you'll be here..."

"Yes. I would love a good night's sleep." He kissed her forehead and she then moved to finish the flowers. When she was done, they turned off the television and the lights. Jack grasped her hand tightly as they made their way up the stairs in the darkness.

"Where did you go last night?" She asked quitely, her voice sounding nervous. He grinned against the darkness, knowing she couldn't see.

"To my mother's. Where else? I sold the apartment."

"Oh, right. Well that's good." She responded, feeling relieved. He would tell her tomorrow about his conversation with his mother, the whole thing, even about Claire. But right now all he wanted to do was undress and climb into their king size bed and hold Kate until she fell asleep, until they fell asleep, together. One night apart from her had felt like an eternity.

When she was settled beside him, after checking on Adam and Aaron, he wrapped his tatooed arms around her, holding her tight and close. She sighed happily against his chest, relaxed. They both knew they had so much more to talk about, everything they had said opening new doors of conversation, but for that moment, all they wanted and needed was the closeness of each other. Everything else could wait until the morning, because, lucky for them, they would be together when they awoke.

* * *

_"Still at the end of every hard day people find some reason to believe"  
_


	29. Chapter 29

Chapter 29

Have been SUPER busy lately. Thank you so much for your patience and your wonderful, awe inspiring reviews. Please enjoy this, and I will get the next part up probably Saturday or Sunday. Thanks! :-)

* * *

_Love is worth forgiving for_

_Now, I realize._

_Everything worth living for_

_Is there, in his eyes. _

_"In His Eyes"_

Jekyll and Hyde

* * *

Kate awoke to the sound of her baby crying only feet away. The sound forced her from the tight arms that were wrapped around her. Slowly inching herself away, she realized the clock only read 3:00 in the morning. Wrapping her robe around herself quickly, she moved to grab the crying infant before her husband woke. He didn't seem to have heard or rustled from sleep, and since it was so early, she wanted to keep it that way. Swooping Adam into her arms, she carried him into the hallway, shutting the bedroom door.

Comforting the infant, she moved to check on Aaron, as she always did when she was awake before him. She sighed a small sigh of relief, as she always did upon seeing he was okay, sleeping soundly in his bed, and shut his door as well. Making her way down the stairs, she sang quietly to Adam, and he stared up at her with his big, hungry, hazel eyes. She grinned lovingly at the child.

She had loved raising Aaron, always feeling as though he were her own, never acting as though he weren't. There was something different, however, about having actually given birth to the child in her arms, a connection that couldn't be explained in words. He was her's, a part of her and Jack, the most loving connection two people could make. Staring at the baby, she could see Jack in him, and wondered what he would look like as he got older. He did have her nose, that was true, but he had Jack's eyes and his olive skin, while she was curious to see whether he would carry on her freckles.

Settling onto the couch, she snuggled the baby up to her to feed him. Flipping on the television to dull the quiet of the night, and settled on a national news station, catching up on the news world while Adam happily ate. She loved this time alone with him, to bond with him. She caressed his small cheek and felt blessed.

When he was finished, she snuggled him close to her, encouraging him to go back to sleep. This was their nightly regime, and she felt it was a special time for the two of them. Getting caught up in a news story, she was surprised when she looked down and Adam was fast asleep. She smiled lovingly at the tiny being in her arms, and yawned, but didn't move to get up. Instead she sat, legs propped up on the coffee table, a blanket over her bare legs, and let the baby lay sleeping her arms. She leaned her head back against the coach and closed her eyes, relishing in the warmth she felt from the baby in her arms and the cushions from the couch. Very rarely did she get time alone, let alone quiet time, and she liked to enjoy it, taking in a deep breath of stillness and falling into a dreamless, satisfying sleep, though knowing that along with motherhood, came the inability to any longer be a deep sleeper, hoping Adam didn't rustle too much in her arms.

* * *

Jack walked sleepily into the kitchen hours later and grinned when he saw the back of Kate's head on the couch. Knowing she had the baby, he moved silently to her, peering over her shoulder, at the sleeping infant in her arms. When Kate didn't peer back at him, he leaned farther and noticed her angelic, sleeping face. He knew she must have gotten up to feed Adam and had been surprised he hadn't woken with her. Moving around the couch, he fixed the blanket upon her, pulling it up farther, covering her legs more and tucking it in softly around her and then he kissed her forehead. Surveying his wife and child for a moment, he felt a sense of relief and dread at the same time. He knew they had a long talk ahead of them later that day, but felt grateful she had allowed him back in the house before having that talk, and had been so gracious as to accept his apology so easily. He felt Sayid was right, maybe married people fought and it was okay, not always marriage ending, sometimes just signs of tension and stress that needed to be expressed. Kissing her forehead once more, he walked to the kitchen to make a pot of coffee, and then to the office to check e-mails before starting his day.

* * *

"Thanks again, Veronica, for coming on short notice. We really appreciate it." Kate settled the Adam into the nanny's arms, and kneeled to give Aaron a kiss. "We'll be back soon, Sweet Pea. Be good for Veronica, okay?"

"Okay, Mommy. Wuv you."

"Love you two, bug." Standing, she rubbed a finger against Adam's pink cheek. "There's bottles ready to be warmed in the fridge. If you need anything else, feel free to call. We won't be more than a few hours, thank you again."

"You're welcome, enjoy your time alone." Veronica winked at Kate and Kate laughed. Jack came around the corner into the foyer.

"You ready?" he leaned and gave Aaron and hug and kiss on the head, before grabbing Kate's hand. Saying their goodbyes, they headed for the car. Pulling out of the drive, she looked at him expectantly, with a nervous smile.

"Where are we going?" She asked curiously. It was early, rush hour traffic just dissapating, as they moved onto the main road. Jack grinned at her jeans and tee shirt.

"What do you say we go sit on the beach and talk?" He paused before adding, with a chuckle, "just like old times." Kate placed her elbow on the car door, running her fingers through her curly dark locks. She laughed quietly.

"Okay."

Pulling up to the beach, Jack parked the Volvo, and they got out. He tentatively grabbed her hand as they made their way to the tan sand. She gave a squeeze, with a smile, knowing this couldn't be that bad a conversation. They had some things that needed to be said, how bad could it be?

Kate rolled up her jeans as they sat down in the sand, a few feet from where the water was rolling up. Staring out over the ocean, she felt a sense of a familiar friend, as if the ocean knew all they had been through, and all the trials and tribulations they had endured. She felt at ease watching the waves hit the shore, comforted somehow. Taking a deep breath, she looked to her left, where Jack was sitting, his arms around his knees, hands clasped in front, as he had sat so many times before in the sand. She tucked her knees close.

"So...do you want to talk first or do you want me to?"

"Do you want to go first?"

"No," she said with a laugh. He chuckled.

"Okay, I guess then I will." Silent for a moment, he began the only place he knew to. " When we got off the Island, I guess I didn't realize how hard it would be to adjust to normal life again. You get so used to fighting for your life, and the constant battle between good and bad, trust and mistrust, that I guess it makes it hard to settle into what we deem as normal. And just when I thought I was beginning to, Claire's mother appeared and tore at all those memories when she told me Claire was my half-sister. That put things in a new view for me because I had never had a sibling before and I felt deep regret for then not having tried harder to save her. And then, seeing you with Aaron, my nephew suddenly, it became a little much, like a wound that wouldn't heal. After your trial, when you asked me to follow you back to your house, I wanted so badly to. I wanted so badly to put my fears and issues aside and go back to your house with you, and never leave. I knew I needed to get over those things, but at the time I didn't know how. And when I first showed up at your door, that Sunday afternoon, I still didn't know if that was the right move. But when you opened that door, and I saw your face, the way it lit up, and the feeling I had when I realized how much I had missed you, I knew I had made the right choice. However, there had always been this thing inside, this feeling of regret and failure at not having been able to save everyone, like Jin, Sawyer, Juliet, and Claire. " He paused, gathering his thoughts, and Kate remained silent, only listening now, feeling as though sometimes, after all this time, there was still a lot to learn about a person one thought they knew well.

"So I surpressed them, and every once in a while, they find their way back to the surface, like they did a few days ago. When my mother told me she didn't think Aaron was yours, it brought back everything I had managed to lay to rest, or at least things I thought I had laid to rest. It was difficult lying to her, reliving that lie again, that we told the whole world. That was a burden by itself. All the feelings of failure and regret, and lying, and all the things Hurley said to me that day, they all came back. And though I like to think I'm strong, sometimes it all gets to be too much. I don't take the pills because I'm an addict Kate, I take them because I have panic attacks sometimes. Or at least I feel like I'm going to, I get really anxious. And its in my blood, my dad was an alcoholic and abused medication. You think I would know better but I guess I didn't. I've tried really hard for your Kate, ever since our last fight. I'm in AA, and I haven't taken anything since I joined, just the other day because it felt like too much. But you have to understand," this he spoke to her, finally looking at her, "I will never go back to being that person, Kate, ever. But I'm not perfect, and I make mistakes. Please understand that." He grabbed her hand and squeezed it tightly, as she nodded, her eyes watery. He kept hold of her hand, knowing the next thing he had to say, wouldn't probably be recieved as well.

"When I left the other night, I went to my mother's. I told her the truth. I told her everything. I had to. I had to get it off my chest." He searched Kate's eyes for anger or dissapointment, but all he saw was understanding, and love. "She didn't understand all of it, and I think she thought I made some of it up, but I told her everything, including about Aaron and Claire." For the first time Kate's expression changed, and her voice relayed the feeling that radiated from them.

"You told her about Claire?" She spoke, shocked. Jack nodded.

"Yeah, I told her everything, about how Aaron belonged to Claire, who was my half-sister. She seemed to take it well actually. She was surprised, but at the same point in time, it didn't surprise her too much. If you had known my father, you would understand. So yeah, I told her everything. And I'm not sorry I did because I feel like a weight has been lifted. At least now the most important people to me know the entire truth." He stared off into the ocean, silent now, having said everything he wanted to say, it seemed. Kate waited a moment to see if he continued and when he didn't, began.

"Jack, the day I met you, I was a different person than who I am today. I was running, trying to save myself from myself. I knew I was a good person, a good person who did a bad thing. But I did it for the right reasons, at least to me. And then after the marshall died, and you knew who I was, but didn't seem to care, I felt like I was getting a second chance. It took me a long time, Jack, to figure out who I was, who I am. And I know who that is now. I am so happy with my life. And I know it took you a long time to come around to Aaron, but he has been the biggest thing in helping me become who I am, because he gave me stability. I had to stay in one place and quit running in order to raise him, because that's what children need. And he was the most wonderful child. It was hard, and I often had wished you were, a lot actually, but you clearly weren't ready. And you weren't ready when you decided to be there for us, I believe, because you clearly hadn't worked through your stuff. But then, when you moved back in, I felt you had it together, like you were ready. And even when I got pregnant, I felt that way. You were so calm, which is why I worried the other night it was medication. Jack, I love my life, our life, and I love being a mother and a wife. That Island brought us together, and I believe that if we continue letting in into our lives, it's going to tear us apart. And I don't know if I can handle that possibility. I know that you're worried about Aaron, and that you regret leaving people behind, but I don't want to go back there, Jack. I have babies, we have a family, and I don't want to try to crash land on an Island that we spent over 3 months trying to get off of. Does that make any sense?" She moved her legs to Indian-style, and faced him. He nodded, his eyes seeming a little watery, and she grasped his face in her hands. "I love you, so much, Jack. I can't lose you again." She leaned in a kissed him, their lips connecting with a spark they both felt.

"I love you too, Kate. And I'm sorry." Their foreheads resting together, and she smiled at him, her eyes closing. Seperating after a few moments, both looked out over the water, thinking their own seperate thoughts, their hands, though, joined in the sand between them. Though they both knew they were two different people, each with their own burdens, they could be and would be together because it was fate, their destiny. It was evident in how they felt about one another.

"Just promise me one thing, Jack."

"Anything, baby."

"Let's try to communicate better, okay? When something is bothering you, tell me, okay?" The edges of her mouth were twitching into a smile. He nodded, a grin growing across his features.

"Okay. I promise." With a light chuckle, he stood, pulling her to her feet. He pulled her to him, grabbing her in a seductive embrace, wrapping his arms around her. She settled against him as he rocked her side to side for a moment.

"I love you" he whispered against her lips. She smiled up at him, radiant. "I hope still do after I do this." he spoke, his face stone. Her brow furrowed.

"What?" She asked before she squealed as he slipped an arm under her knees and around her back and ran into the surf, as she protested. He dropped her in the waves playfully, and when she was able to stand, she pushed at him, throwing him off balance, both of them falling into the water. They laughed, soaked through their clothes, but it was healing, a moment they needed to grow and a moment to forgive. Splashing at each other, it was a touching moment if anyone saw, because what these two people needed most was each other, away from the real world, enjoying one another.

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Pleeeasseee R&R! Thanks!


	30. Chapter 30

Chapter 30

*fireworks exploding* YIPPEE! I made it to chapter 30! (even though it says 31 on your e-mail alerts, its actually Chapter 30 because chapter 17 was in two parts :-P )

I have to say THANK YOU to all who have been reviewing lately! You are wonderful to me and I cherish each and every review I get! I love reading them and it makes my day! So thank you very much! :-) Over 300 reviews and counting! :-D Wow, amazing. Thank you, thank you!

xxxx

Jack pulled into his mother's drive and put the Volvo in park. Grapsing Kate's hand, he kissed her fingers as she sighed heavily.

"Kate, I thought we weren't gonna let this be weird..." She gave him a dubious look, as Aaron squirmed around in the backseat, poking at Adam's rosey cheeks. "You can't avoid her forever. Aaron, please stop poking your brother."

"His cheeks look like balloons, though. Will they pop?" Kate laughed, glancing into the backseat as Jack looked at the child in his rearview mirror.

"No, they won't pop. But he'll scream if you keep doing it, and you don't want that to happen, right?" Jack cautioned the blonde haired boy, who sunk in his seat with a violent shake of his head.

"I don't want him to scream. He's really loud." Kate grinned at her husband as he unbuckled his seat belt.

"We're going in with or without you. You are, by all means, welcome to sit in the car, but you will have to face her sometime, and the longer you wait, the worse it'll be." He patted her jeaned thigh and gave her a kiss. "So what do you say?" She contemplated it for a moment before sighing again, this time in defeat.

"All right," she drew the word out, showing Jack her disdain as he cracked a grin. "I just don't want her to look at me differently."

"Kate, she's not going to look at you differently. So what I told her everything. If anything, she respects you more for everything you did and we went through. Just be normal, okay?" He encouraged as she removed Adam's carrier from the car, and Jack helped Aaron exit the car. Walking to the door, Aaron grasped Jack's hand, swinging his arm as little children do. Kate smiled tenderly at the moment, before Jack swooped Aaron up, throwing him over his strong shoulder as Aaron squealed with delight. Holding onto him by his legs, they made their way up the staircase to the front door, where, Jack reached for the handle, swinging it open. "Mom, we're here!" A bustling was heard in the kitchen before she came quickly into the hallway toward them, a smile lighting her pretty face.

"I am so excited you could come for dinner! It feels like ages since I've seen you all!" She embraced little Aaron, and then Jack, before turning to Kate. "Its good to see you, Kate." She paused for a moment, giving the younger woman the feeling she understood why she had kept to herself the last week and half, and embraced her tightly, letting her know that it was okay. Kate hugged her back, feeling relieved, knowing that she had been stressed about this visit, because it was the first time she had seen her since Jack had told her all about the Island and Claire and Aaron. Kate felt somehow like she had done something wrong by taking Aaron, but Jack had assured her over and over again in past days that she had done the right thing, because who knows what would have happened to the child had he stayed there. Pulling back, the older woman surveryed Kate. "You look like you're almost pack down to your petite size!" Margo exclaimed, holding Kate's hands. Kate blushed and Jack nodded, approvingly.

"That's because Adam eats like a champ," he gave Kate a wink, knowing it was the nursing that had kicked Kate's metabolism into high gear. Not to mention she was petite by nature.

"Well, you look great!" Turning from Kate, she reached for the infant who was checking out his surroundings from his carrier that sat on the floor. "Speaking of Adam, look at this little guy!" Reaching for him, she unbuckled him and picked him up gently, resting him in her arms.

"His cheeks look like balloons, don't they, Grandma?" Aaron asked quizzically, looking for someone to agree with him on the matter. Kate and Jack rolled their eyes but Margo played along.

"As a matter of fact, they do! But I wouldn't try to pop them, I bet he could put out quite a hollar." Aaron nodded agreeingly.

"Yeah. He's really loud when he cries. So loud I have to put a pillow over my head at night." Aaron did a good job acting exhasperated, and the adults laughed. Kate squeezed the blonde child.

"He doesn't cry that loud." She countered.

"Yes he does, Mommy. I hear him. It's loud." He seemed to have had enough of the conversation and caused the adults another laugh as he wondered into the living room, calling to Jack, asking politely for some cartoons. Kate followed Margo into the sun-lit kitchen with Adam's diaper bag, setting it on the counter.

"He looks great, Kate. He's already getting so big!"

"He's about the size of a normal baby now," she replied, sitting on one of the stools, placing her head in her hand, watching the older woman rock her baby. "He's about 8 pounds." Margo nodded agreeingly.

"He has so much of you and Jack. I don't know who he looks like more," She grinned happily, rocking the small child in her arms. "Aaron seems to enjoy him." Kate scoffed at that, laughing.

"He's really good with him, but sometimes we have to remind him that Adam is just a baby. When we pulled up, he was poking him in the cheeks, asking if they would pop. It's small things like that, and Adam isn't too fussy, which is a blessing, because Aaron is still grasping what he can and cannot do with him." The women laughed and Margo handed Adam back when he began fussing a little, signifying he was hungry. "I'm going to go into the office to feed him, is that all right?" Kate asked shyly. Margo nodded, a knowing smile on her aged face.

"Of course, sweetie. Just be careful, there's stuff everywhere in there." Kate nodded her thanks before wandering away to feed the hungry child. Jack entered the kitchen upon Kate's exit, looking around for her. "She went to feed Adam," Margo offered him a cup of coffee and he accepted, taking a seat at the kitchen table, raising his left leg to place his left foot on his right knee.

"She's really good with him," he spoke with a grin. Margo smiled at her son, enjoying his happiness. She joined him at the table, a mug of steaming liquid in her hand. "She just gets it, you know?"

"I do. She's a great woman, Jack. You couldn't have found better. I feel bad she's a little tenderfooted around me." Jack shrugged, sipping the coffee.

"She'll be fine, she just wanted to make sure you didn't think she did something wrong. If you'd been there, and seen where we were going to have to leave him, you would have taken him too."

"Oh I'm sure I would have. I'm not saying she did anything wrong, I just don't want her to think I think that."

"She'll get over it. She always does. She's a saint, that one." Margo watched her husband dissapear in his mind for a moment, before coming back to reality. "Sam arrives on Wednesday, so I'm sure Kate will want to plan dinner or something while he's here. I think we'll invite some friends too, make an evening out of it."

"When do you go back to work full time?" Margo asked curiously, knowing he had been taking time off to spend with Kate since she had the baby.

"Tomorrow." He sighed stressfully, and Margo touched his hand briefly.

"She'll be fine, Jack. I'm only minutes away and her father will be here in three days. She raised Aaron by herself, she's capable of having the two little ones alone." Margo grinned at his worry and knew it was because he loved her.

"I know, I just want to make sure she doesn't get overwhelmed, you know? Adam is a handful."

"Well, he's an infant, of course he is. But Aaron is an easy, well behaved child, so I'm sure she will have them under control. And if not, I'll be right there to relieve her."

"I know. I appreciate it Mom, I really do."

"I know you do, Jack. I'm so excited to have two grandkids now, I can't wait until I can have them both overnight for ice cream and movies." Jack laughed at her future thinking, and couldn't believe that soon those days would be there. Not too soon, he hoped with a grin.

xxxx

Kate poured a cup of coffee for Jack just as he stepped off the last stair, finishing his tie. She took his work suit, navy blue with a striped tie, and thought about how attractive he was, his hair still wet from his shower, smelling of cologne, clean-shaven. He greeted her with a kiss when he neared her, reaching for his coffee.

"Good morning," She grinned, watching him drink almost the whole thing in one sip. "Slow down, you're acting as if you're going to be late."

"I will be if I don't leave in ten." He set the cup down, and sat by his plate, where two eggs, wheat toast, and bacon sat waiting for him. He paused to look at her, smiling. "Why are you so good to me?" She giggled, walking behind him, kissing his cheek.

"Because I love you and I want to make sure you're ready for your first full day back to work." She smoothed the shoulders of his coat before moving to pick up Adam, who was fussing in his bouncy chair.

"Well I very much appreciate it. I have consults all day, and a staff meeting at 3. I should be home by 5-"

"I think you should go to your meeting tonight," She interjected, rocking the infant in her arms. He bit off a piece of his toast, sighing.

"You'll have been alone with these two for like, ten hours, by the time you get home. Don't you think you'll need a break?"

"Jack, I know you're worried about me, but I'll be fine." She grinned at his worried face. "I think we need to get back into a routine. Monday, Wednesday, Friday are your meetings and I think its important you go." He rolled his eyes as a child would, and she raised her eyebrows. "For me, Jack. Please. It's good for you."

"All right. For you." She broke his resolve down, as she always did. Finishing his peice of bacon, he stared up at her. "Its not that I don't want to go, I just want to make sure you're okay here by yourself."

"Your mother is 15 minutes away and I can always take them out if we need a break. The playground is right down the street. We'll be fine." She kissed his forehead and walked around him to get her own cup of coffee.

"Well, I want him as soon as I get home," he teased, referring to the baby. Kate scoffed. "What? I'm going to miss him!" he defended.

"We'll see," she winked at him before he finished his coffee and stood. "You ate that fast." Kate remarked at his clean plate. He kissed her briefly, grabbing his brief case.

"I'll be home around 8. _Please_," he stressed the word, touching her arm tenderly, "call me if you need me. I'll be right home." She smiled into his hazel eyes.

"I know you will, but we can't afford you not working, and if you take anymore time off, you will be here all the time. So go!" She nudged him with her hip before kissing him one last time. He chuckled at her indepence as he grabbed his keys, pager, and cell phone, heading out the door. She could be so stubborn sometimes, but he knew he enjoyed that about her. Not to mention, he secretly knew she'd be fine, he just wanted to feel needed. _Of course Kate has it all under control, when has she ever not?_ Jack thought to himself with a grin as he climbed into their rental car, hoping that their Tahoe would be out of the shop soon and he could quit driving a sedan. They weren't for him, he liked his big trucks. Silently he wondered if he hadn't purchased the vehicle if she would have gone into premature labor. _Water under the bridge_, he decided as he dashed away the thoughts. He was curious to find out how the day went, and hoped it would fly by. The sooner he was home to be with his family, the better.

xxxx

Jack opened the door to a quiet house. It was just after 8 o'clock and he had been swamped at work all day, and after his AA meeting, couldn't wait to get home. He had called her only twice, being too busy to call more than that, and both times she'd sounded cheerful and happy, enjoying her day. He knew he had underestimated her, but he didn't want to set her up for failure. Even though, if she did fail, he would just find it adorable she had even tried.

Rounding the corner into the living room, he could see her curls cascading over the armrest of the couch, indicating she was lying down. Walking toward the couch, he peered over and was taken by the scene in front of him. Aaron and Adam were both snuggled up to Kate, Adam on her chest, Aaron between her and the back of the couch, and all three were asleep. He looked up at the tv, and noticed that "The Lion King" was little more than halfway over. He was surprised she hadn't woken upon him entering, and figured they must have had a busy day. Walking back into the kitchen, he noticed the place was clean, not a dirty dish or cup in sight. _She's so good at this_, he thought to himself, as he poured himself a glass of lemonade and looked over his options for dinner. A ribeye steak with mashed potatoes and asparagus awaited him on a plate in the refridgerator. Still a vegetarian, she cooked meat for Jack and Aaron because she knew neither of them wanted to be subjected to her tofu and vegetarian menu all of the time. Plus, with Aaron being a growing boy, she knew he needed protein from chicken and beef. She always bought organic product though. She would allow Aaron to make up his own mind as he grew up, knowing he would eat like Jack forever, because he looked up to him so much.

Jack reheated the food and ate it quietly, watching the television from his place at the table. He loved that Aaron was at the age to enjoy all of these classic animated movies, and couldn't wait to do it again with Adam. They were so pure and innocent, and enjoyable for even him and Kate. He watched Nala try to convince Simba to go back to Pride Rock and suddenly felt a sense of understanding and rememberance of times when he and Kate had had conversations similiar to that moment. He felt he understood Simba's battle inside about where he belonged, and who he was. He knew how that felt. He chuckled to himself at finding a comparision to his life in a Disney movie, and changed his thoughts to wondering whether the Red Sox were winning their game against the White Sox. After he was done eating, he checked the score, leaving the game on with the volume low, before picking up Aaron and moving him to his bed. Returning to the couch, he picked up the infant from Kate's chest, cuddling him to his own, sitting down in the comfortable arm chair to watch the last couple innings of the game. Adam laid comfortably in Jack's arms, his eyes fluttering open every once and again, giving Jack a few big yawns. Kate had since rolled to her side, her arms tucked under her head, and he thought for a brief moment of this life he created and how thankful he was for her and their children. Even though he always felt a pang about Claire, he knew they had done the right thing with Aaron, and Kate was right. That Island would tear them apart if they let it. They were so happy with their life now, and he couldn't imagine having stayed on that Island a day longer than they had. Not with the hostility and unaswered questions that followed them everywhere. And living in fear of the dark smoke cloud that so clearly killed so many people. Sometimes, even in retrospect, it didn't make any sense to him, all that happened their. So he simply looked at the greater picture of how he and Kate were together now, and how happy they were in that place.

And now they had their own child. That solidified everything for him, every question, every unsure feeling. She was his, Adam was their's, and he was her's. And of course Aaron was their's too, but in a different way, a way they would have to come to terms with someday and explain to the young child his true birth. Until then, however, he didn't spend the time thinking about it, because Aaron was their's from now on just the same. His father would be proud of him, Jack thought, because for once he had accomplished something, not because he had to or because he was trying to prove something, but because it had just felt right, and it was where he belonged.

He looked up from the infant's small face and saw Kate watching him intently. He smiled at her, greeting her. She smiled back, a watery one, before yawning.

"Hey," she began with a stretch of her arms, "When did you get home?"

"About a half hour ago. You were all sleeping so snuggled together, I didn't want to wake you. So after I was finished eating my dinner, which was delicious by the way, I moved Aaron to bed, and stole this adorable baby, so I could have some bonding time with him." Grinning, he gestured toward the television. "Maybe he'll play baseball one day." Kate moved to a sitting position, on the end of the couch closest to Jack.

"Or maybe he'll be a musician." She responded. Jack nodded, considering the idea.

"Not rock music though, I don't want him in that scene," She knew he was making a reference to Charlie, but she laughed none the less at his fatherly beliefs.

"How was work?"

"Busy. How was your day?"

"Wonderful. Except we all missed you," She said what she knew he wanted to hear, as she knew he didn't want to be away from them all day.

"I miss you guys too." She stood, surprising him, stretching.

"I need to feed him one more time and then I'm going to bed. 3am is going to come way to soon." Jack reluctantly handed her the baby, but grinned at her vulnerable motherly attitude. When she was still leaning over him, she placed a sweet kiss on his lips. "I love you," she said sweetly. He gave a soft smile up at her.

"I love you." It was a simple statement that meant and said so much. As she began for the door way to the living room, he called after her. "How much longer until that six weeks is up?"


	31. Chapter 31

Chapter 32

**So I have to tell you all how touched I was by your get well wishes. Thank you so much! I felt sooo terrible, but those wishes made a difference! Thank you so much :-) Very touching! You all are so wonderful. I feel very fortunate you read and review my story. Thank you.**

**Now, sorry for the delay. I ended up watching "The End" last night for the first time and was so traumatized after, I could not write. I _sobbed_ from when Jin and Sun remembered the the end when Jack dies. Ugh! So beautiful but I felt like I lost a dear friend :-( So devastated it's over. I will have to take my devastation out on this story hahah. They live through our words :-) Aww, that sounds so sad :-(**

**Okay, enough blabbering. On to this chapter.**

* * *

Kate was no completely sure what she was thinking as she stood in the airport trying to keep Aaron close, and keep her baby happy. She rocked the carrier on the floor as she sat in the chair, watching Aaron as he played with a tiny kids play area. Adam fussed slightly from the carrier and Kate regretted telling Jack she could do this herself.

Truth was, she was just tired, and feeling the effects of late night feedings, and early morning routines. She knew she was capable of taking care of both children at a time, but her patience were wearing thin do to lack of sleep and she was struggling with staying even. Sighing deeply, she hoped her father de-planed as quickly as possible. She could use a cup of coffee, and less call for her senses.

Hearing the announcement, she stood, lifting the carrier, and calling to Aaron, who came running happily, always oblivious to tension. He was such a happy child, and she was thankful for that, because parts of his life hadn't always been so happy. She had tried her best for him, though, and that was the best she could have done.

They stood at the Kate, watching for Sam, and Aaron bounced up and down in excitement. "Grampa is coming!" He kept chanting, causing a smile from Kate. She propped the carrier against her thigh, excitement bubbling with in her as well. She hadn't seen her father in so long, it felt like, and she couldn't wait to spend time with him. Looking over the other passengers, she spotted a man in a uniform and smiled, knowing it was him. She bent and whispered to Aaron, who's face lit up with happiness, before he launched himself at Sam, who dropped his carry-on and scooped up the small boy, wrapping him tightly in his arms. Kate watched the exchange, smiling before she moved closer, putting the carrier down to embrace her father.

"Hi Daddy" she spoke into this dark green shoulder, feeling very much like a child again. Fathers always have that ability with their little girls. Sam squeezed her tightly before pulling back.

"Hi, Katie! How are you?" He asked it affectionately, rubbing a hand over her curly locks.

"I'm well, Dad. Just a little tired. How was your flight?"

"It was good, quick. Which is always nice." He seemed to then notice the carrier, bending down to peer at the contents. Adam moved his little arms and legs around a little, as Sam touched the small infant. "Kate, he's beautiful. Hi Adam, hi there." Sam spoke quietly to the baby, who's large eyes were pinned on the older man, as if not sure who he was. After a moment, Sam stood. "Shall we head home? You look like you could use a rest." Kate laughed a little, shaking her head.

"We can head home, but I'm fine, Dad." Picking up the carrier, she called to Aaron. "Come on, Sweet Pea, we're leaving." Turning to her father, she added, "Did you check a bag?"

"Nope, just my leather bag right here." He patted the large leather duffel, before grabbing Aaron's hand. The three made their way out the door to the Tahoe they had just gotten back the day before. Kate had been apprehensive about driving it, but Jack knew it would be easier with both carseats and with her father coming to town. Unlocking the door, Sam put his bag in the back of the SUV while Kate buckled Aaron and Adam into the car. Climbing into the driver's side, she took a deep breath, before starting the engine, Sam climbing into the passenger seat. They drove home, talk filling the truck. She told Sam all about Aaron recent escapades, about how he is dying for a puppy, and how great he was with Adam. Sam laughed at her stories, enjoying seeing his daughter in her newest role.

Kate pulled into the driveway, noting the time. Jack would be home for a few more hours, so she planned to put Adam down for a nap, and see if she could try to tire out Aaron. Climbing out of the truck, and unbuckled the Adam, while her father undid Aaron, and they all made their way into the house, Aaron began dragging Sam off upstairs.

"Aaron! Let Grampa get settled first, please," she spoke with a grin, knowing how much Aaron no only enjoyed company, but enjoyed his Grandparents.

"I just want to show him one thing, Mommy. Please!"

"Okay. Just one. Then let me him come downstairs and get settled, okay? Dad, I'm going to put your bag in the guest room, past the living room, okay?"

"Thanks, Katie. Be down in a minute."

Sure enough as Kate would have expect, enough time went by for Kate to feed Adam, lay him down for his nap, and then for her to straighten up a little. Walking to Aaron's doorway, she noticed her father had lost his jacket and shoes and was crosslegged on the floor playing with Aaron. Leaning against the door-jam, she grinned, knowing her father enjoyed having grandchildren for this exact reason. Neither noticed her, so she left them to enjoy each other, making her way back down the stairs. Settling on the couch, and flipped on the television and flipped a few channels before she felt her eyelids grow heavy. It was true, she did need a rest, and she didn't feel so bad resting her eyes with her father with Aaron and Adam asleep soundly in his crib. Settling them shut, she was glad she had planned already what they were having for dinner. Shifting herself to a lying position, she snuggled up the pillow, deciding on only an hour of rest. That was all she's allow herself, she had too much else to do.

xxxxx

Jack opened the door to the house, surprised by how quiet it was inside. Setting his briefcase down next to the desk, placing his keys on top, he called out tentatively into the house, wondering if maybe everyone had gone for a walk. When no one responded, he made his way up the stairs. He knew Kate was supposed to pick up her father from the airport earlier that day, and had offered, but she'd been adamant she could do it herself. He smiled, admiring her independent attitude. She was so stubborn sometimes. Walking down the hall to Aaron's room, he opened the door and saw Sam and Aaron playing with Aaron's Star Wars characters on his floor.

"Hey Sam," Jack greeted with a grin as the older man stood. The two shook hands.

"Jack! Great to see you!"

"Great to see you too. How was your flight?"

"Quick. It's great to be back, Aaron and were just entertaining ourselves while Kate slept. She looked pretty warn at the airport, so when she fell asleep on the couch a couple hours ago, we decided to let her sleep. " Jack nodded his understanding and agreement.

"Yeah, since I've gone back to work, she's been pushing herself. She doesn't get to rest as much during the day as before. And everytime I try to convince her to bring the nanny back at least part-time, she fights me, telling me she can do it herself." The two men laughed, knowing that was exactly Kate. "Where's Adam? Sleeping?"

"He was. I checked on him an hour ago and he was fast asleep. She put him down right before she fell asleep."

"I'm going to go check on him, and her, and then we'll figure out dinner." Sam nodded.

"All right, I'm going to finish my game here with Aaron, and I'll be down."

"You don't have to-" Jack started to tell Sam he was allowed to excuse himself, but Sam shook his head with a big grin as he sat back down.

"I know, but I enjoy this. This is what you look foreward to as a grandparent." Jack nodded with a chuckle, before stepping out of the room, making his way the their master bedroom to check on the baby. Adam, of course, was fast asleep, so Jack made sure the monitor was on, and made his way down the stairs, now in search of Kate. Entering the living room, he saw her sleeping form on the couch, eyes shut to the world, her breathing easy. She did look pale, he decided, but she had probably just worn herself out. He mentally made a note to argue with her again about Veronica coming back on at least part-time, to give her a break every now and again. He knew she'd have an easy few days with her father in town, and wanted to encourage that, especially since he seemed to enjoy the children. Jack knew he was off the coming day too, having brought his work home, so he could spend a little more time with Kate's father, so that would be a help too. Covering her up, he made his way into the kitchen to make dinner.

Kate woke to a delicious smell and the sound of quiet talking. She sat up, trying to regain her sense of her surroundings, unsure of how long she'd been sleeping. It was dark outside she noticed, probably seven o'clock, and she suddenly remembered the baby, and how she was supposed to make dinner for Jack and her father, and the kids. Standing quickly, she made her way to the kitchen, rubbing her eyes as she did so. She heard the voices quiet and when he looked up, she met Jack's gaze, as his eyes sparkled at her.

"I guess Sleepyhead finally decided to join us." He leaned back against his chair, grinning at her. Her cheeks grew red as she moved closer.

"Hi. When did you get home?" she greeted him with an embarassed smile. He shrugged.

"Probably a little over an hour ago. You were fast asleep. I didn't want to wake you, figured you needed the rest." She noticed their plates were clear of food, meaning they must have ate everything. And Adam sat happily in his bouncy seat, watching everyone intently with his orbs.

"You cooked dinner?" she asked, not meaning for her tone to be of surprised. Jack and Sam laughed.

"Yeah, I did. Contrary to what you may think, little missy, I can cook. I just never get the opportunity." Standing he made his way to the stove, creating her a plate. Coming back, he placed her plate at her normal spot, pouring her a glass of Peligrino. She sat down next to her father, across from Jack, and felt sheepish.

"I know you can cook. I just feel like that's my job. What did Aaron have?" She picked up her fork and tasted the fish he had prepared, and found it delicious. She occasionally ate seafood, and had purchased some swordfish for them because he father was in town. Jack had gone away from her recipe though, creating a pesto and putting it over pasta, and then placing the grilled swordish on top of the pasta. She was impressed.

"Aaron had the pasta, with some juice. He had no interest in the fish."

"You got him to eat the pasta with the pesto?" she asked incredulously. Jack and Sam laughed again, and Jack nodded.

"I think he wanted to be one of the boys. He said he would eat it because we were eating it. And he liked it." Kate was visibly surprised.

"Wow. I'm impressed. Where is he now?"

"He's upstairs, watching tv in our room. We wanted to let you sleep."

"Thank you," Kate blushed as she began eating. The conversation continued around her as she enjoyed her meal, and felt very thankful for having such a wonderful husband. He truly was something, after a long day at work, to come home, make a delicious meal, take care of the baby, and entertain her father. All with a genuine smile. She really felt an amazing sense of pride for the man sitting across from her.

* * *

**Okay guys, I know its short, but I didn't have a lot of time (thanks, strep throat, way to ruin my weekend of writing) I will try to update again by Sunday, because I was MIA for so long. You guys are awesome, and I think I have a great idea of where this story is headed, but I'm also VERY open to ideas right now, so if you have an idea of what should happen, PLEASE message me, because I'd LOVE to know. Thanks! Hope you enjoyed this little diddie of a chappy. :-)**

**Also, you all can review this chapter, because I chose not to delete the note, bc then you can't review. So I hope it works this way. Thanks :-)**


	32. Chapter 32

Chapter 32

**Thank you for all of your reviews. I know the last chapter was short and little lame in the excitement department, but this one will be better. :-) Sorry for the delay as well. I'm posting a new poll on my profile, so please go check it out. Thanks! :-) Enjoy! And thanks again for your reviews, you all are so wonderful! **

* * *

_"The best love is the kind that awakens the soul; that makes us reach for more, that plants the fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds." -"The Notebook" Nicholas Sparks_

Kate settled on the couch in the early morning hours, preparing to nurse Adam. She was enjoying their nightly routine, and she loved the fact that she was able to get Adam up and out of the room without rousing Jack. He was a fairly heavy sleeper, and she appreciated that sometimes.

She couldn't believe where her life was today. It didn't feel so long ago that she'd spent all her time on the run, unable to live a normal life with any semblence of easy living. And then she crashed on the Island, the marshall died, and she somehow managed to work through her issues. This coupled with her ability to somehow redeem herself, at least in her own mind, being able to show the people around her that she was strong, smart, and the opposite of everything they thought a fugitive to be.

And now here she was playing housewife to her doctor husband, cooking dinner, playing mother in an amazing house to an amazing man, who, in recent months, had come to do nothing but care for and love her for the person she had always been.

She loved everything about Jack. His handsome features, his physical masculinity, his sincere attitude, and his flaws. He tried so hard for her. They both did, for each other. This marriage was different, she knew, from her first marriage, if it could have even been called a marriage. Her marriage to Jack wasn't an entire lie, she was herself and nothing but. However, they both had their secrets. She struggled sometimes with the person she had been, wishing she could erase it, wondering what she would tell her children when they were grown, wondering if they'd find out. Jack didn't care, though, and she loved that about him. Their relationship was very resiliant. They cared about each other, despite their fights every once and a while, couldn't step away from one another. Emotionally or physically.

Physically. She sighed, shifting Adam to her shoulder. She hasn't felt him in so long. Her stomach did a flip just as she thought about it, releasing butterflies. She craved it, trying to think back before the pregnancy and the awkward sex during, to a time when it had just been them. Alone. When, even though they had Aaron, they could still enjoy each other. She thought back to their first time together, before he lived with them, after a few glasses of wine, right there on the living room floor where the ottoman sat where her feet were propped up on. The unbridled passion, and yet immense delicacy with which he had touched her. She knew it had been irresponsible to do such a thing, with her young son just upstairs, but they had waited so long already it had seemed.

Everyone said it would be the last thing on her mind after Adam's birth, but she thought about it alot. Increasingly so, as she was getting closer to when her doctor would hopefully clear her of that kind of behavior. As Adam lay next to her on the couch, as she rubbed his now full stomach, urging him to fall back to sleep. She jumped as she felt hands rest on her petite shoulders, squeezing them through her robe. She looked up to fina a shirtless Jack staring down at her.

"Hey" she greeted quietly, with an enchanting smile. She took in his toned upper body as he made his way around the couch to sit in front of her on the ottoman. His five o'clock shadow was now a shade darker of dark brown and light gray. She thought it made him look distinguished and knew he'd be a handsome silver fox, much life his father.

"I couldn't sleep after you left so I figured I'd come down and check on you." He rubbed her knee, while looking over at Adam, who had fallen back asleep. "It's funny, isn't it? All he does is eat and sleep," Jack chuckled, grinning affectionately at the small infant.

"And go through a lot of diapers," she added with a quiet laugh, before her prior thoughts came back to mind. Jack noticed the way she was intently staring at his chest, and followed her gaze, confused.

"What?" he questioned, glancing between his chest anhd Kate's face. When she didn't respond, he spoke again, touching her knees. "Kate.."

"Huh? What?" She awoke from her thoughts, with a shake of her head, meeting his eyes as he chuckled at her.

"What were you thinking about?" Jack asked curiously, quietly. She grinned like the cat who'd eaten the mouse, and reached out and touched his defined chest.

"How much I want you." What started as a slight touching of his pectoral muscles, became a slow, sensual massage. Jack's beath hitched and he searched her face, glancing at the sleeping baby next to them.

"How much you want me?" he repeated, questioning whether or not he had heard her right. She nodded as a piece of her robe fell off her shoulder, revieling the bare skin underneath. He let her touch him, didn't interupt her massage on his chest.

"Do you remember the first time we had sex right here, on this carpet?" Kate asked, her voice barely above a whisper, as she rubbed his strong shoulders. He groaned in response, closing his eyes as her hands did their work. Kate was turned on by the way she could still smell the soap from his shower before bed, and the way he looked with his eyes closed, enjoying her touch. She moved from the couch to his lap, her legs straddling his, and took his mouth with her's. His hands rested right below her bottom, playing with the hem of her short, silk robe. Their kiss deepened, and both felt as though they hadn't kissed this way in so long, too long. It became a heated kiss, one of want and need, each aching for a part of the other they hadn't experienced in some time.

Kate sucked in a breath, as Jack's hot mouth found her bare shoulder, and nipped and sucked along her collar bone. Kate grinded heavily into his hips, and that was all the encouragement he needed, turning them, and lying them on the ground, his body over her's, between her legs. He pushed her robe open, his hands roaming her body, as she reached her small hand into his grey sweatpants, causing a primal groan to escape him. In the back of Kate's head, a red sign flashed 'stop', knowing she could so a lot of damage to her unhealed areas, but her body was so raging with desire, she ignored it. In the room lit by only the low volume television, she knew their foreplay could only go on for so long before she wouldn't be able to wait any longer. She closed her eyes to his mouth along her neck, trying to memorize how every single part of him felt against her, and every feeling he made her feel.

Their moment was, however, interupted by a low clearing of the throat, and the two on the floor stilled. Kate immediately felt her face grow hot, and had this feeling she was caught with her high school boyfriend. She knew who was staring down at thm. Looking up and over her head, she grinned, embarassed, at her father, who was looking down at her and Jack with his hands on his hips.

"Hi Dad." Kate felt herself about to laugh, and felt Jack groan into her shoulder, too shocked to move, knowing how awkward this would be.

"Should I take your son to bed or would you like to do that?" Sam was trying not grin at the two adults on the living room floor, but, in his fatherly way, as much as he hated to interupt their intimate moment he was sure they didn't get a lot of, he, first didn't want to have to walk back past them when he came back from the bathroom, and second, could see the infant lying on the couch, in full view of his parents. Jack moved to his knees after a beat, fairly quickly, picking up the sleeping child, with a sheepish, "Sorry, Sam", leaving Kate to cover herself and get up. She thanked a higher power they hadn't undressed, as she was still wearing her nightgown, and he his sweatpants. Sitting up as her father walked past her, she couldn't help but shake her head, out of frusteration, and humor, standing.

"Sorry, Dad." was all she could muster, tying her robe. The older man just laughed as he made his way down the hall.

"All's well, Katie. Just next time you have company, try not to put on a show on your living room floor." Kate's face couldn't have been any more red as she proceeded from the living room.

"Yes, Daddy. Goodnight."

"Goodnight, Katie."

As Kate reached the top of the stairs, she still was stiffling her laughter, feeling like a young girl again. She found Jack under the covers, on his stomach, facing the opposite way of her side of the bed. She climbed in, moving close to him, wrapping her arms around him, kissing along his shoulder blade.

"Jaaack" she whispered, drawing out his name. He grunted in response, to acknowledge that he'd heard her, but made no move. "Want to continue where we left off?" She continued stroking his back, but he stayed still.

"Kate, I think the moment passed. I can still feel your father staring down at me." Jack said the words as if he felt dirty and she giggled. Then with a frusterated sigh, she laid back against her pillows.

"Fine."

"I'm sorry Kate, I just can't do it. Not with him in the house." She thought it was cute he was so embarassed but she had wanted him so badly, she felt it almost unfair.

"Its fine. We shouldn't have been doing that anyway, I'm not ready."

"Well, good then. No harm done." She slapped his back with the back of her hand and he let out a laugh. She shushed him quickly so he didn't wake the baby, and then snuggled close to him, wrapping an arm aound his back.

"Goodnight, Kate."

"Night Jack."

* * *

Kate finished setting the table, surveying her work. She was dressed in a soft yellow and white sundress Jack had purchased for her months before her pregnancy, and was setting the table for their friends. She had wanted to do something nice while her father was in town so she decided a dinner party, inviting her and Jack's friends and Jack's mother, would be a great idea. Everyone could become aquainted better, everyone could meet Adam and see Aaron again, and enjoy each other's company in a neutral environment, rather than a wedding or a funeral.

Kate smiled as she heard Jack's footsteps approaching. Turning, she grinned at him in his black slacks and button down light blue shirt, the two top buttons unbuttoned, holding Adam in his arms. She loved how little Adam was against Jack's firm arms and broad chest, grinning at how the little child seemed snuggled up into Jack. Jack grinned back at her, his eyes roaming her body covered in the tight cotton material, and leaned in for a kiss. He had been avoiding her father all day, which meant he had been scarsely around the house, mowing the lawn and doing other outdoorsey projects, getting their home ready for company. She thought his sudden shyness was cute, an endearing quality. She knew he felt bad, not wanting to upset or disrespect her father. She knew her father didn't feel that way though. Jack had made an honest woman of Kate, and he took great care of her and the children, there was no doubt about that.

"You look beautiful." Jack complimented as Kate smoothed the fabric self-consciously.

"Thank you. I still feel like I'm getting back down to my original size. I'm not quite there yet." She said shyly. Jack shook his head, whisking the thoughts away.

"Oh, stop. You look great and you know it." He kissed her nose before moving to grab a cookie off the plate of freshly baked desserts, by Kate of course, before she could stop him. He grinned devilishly while taking a bite. She cocked an eyebrow at him and crossed her arms playfully. He retreated.

"Aaron's almost ready. We'll be back down shortly." He chuckled a little as he carried the baby up the stairs to check on the older child, while enjoying his chocolate chip cookie. Kate laughed quietly to herself, moving back to the kitchen to where her roast was slow-cooking in the oven, surrounded by vegetables, along with a sweet potato casserole. She enjoyed cooking for guests and felt as though she did a fairly decent job. Jack having taken the day off and her father being in town did make things easier for her though.

"Katie, can I help you at all?" Her father had entered the delicious smelling kitchen and she shook her head, smiling.

"No, I'm good, actually. Everything is just staying warm, the roast just about done. Everyone should be here in about 20 minutes."

"All right then." He poured himself a glass of red wine and smiled at Kate, leaning against the counter. "It's really great to see you in this atmosphere. Being a mother, and a wife, it suits you." Her cheeks turned a pinkish hue as she rearranged the flowers on the counter, and made sure all the water glasses were filled.

"Thanks Daddy." She knew is was important to him that she be well taken care of. Even though she was no where near dependent on anyone, fathers always want their daughters to be appreciated and in good hands. Kate definitely was. "Can you keep an eye on the food for me, actually? I need to go make sure Adam doesn't want to eat anymore."

"Absolutely. I'll hold the fort down." He winked at her as she began toward the stairs. Reaching the top, she could hear laughter coming from Aaron's room, the door half-way shut. Following the sound, she grinned at the sight before her. Jack and Aaron were on either side of Adam, who was laying on Aaron's bed, and they were laughing at something about the baby. She adored the fact that Jack and Aaron were bonding, but she knew she had to interupt them, or there was a chance Adam would be interupting their dinner a little later.

"Boys." She spoke in a sing-song voice as she entered the room. Jack and Aaron looked up, both grinning at her. "I need to steal Adam and make sure he's full. Are you ready Aaron?" The little boy nodded as Kate reached for Adam, and Aaron stood. "Oh, look how handsome you are!" She spoke with enthusiasm at the boy, who wore black pants, a white shirt, and a khaki colored vest.

"Daddy picked it out," the child confessed, making him even more adorable in Kate's eyes. "I tied my shoe though!" He exclaimed, pointing to his right foot, where a somewhat messy bow sat on his small black shoe.

"You did?" Kate asked with excitment. "I am so proud of you! What a great job you did!" She kissed Aaron's cheek. "Love you Sweet Pea."

"Wuv you too, Mommy. I'm going downstairs to see Grandpa." He walked out of the room as Jack and Kate watched, and Kate felt a tear well up in her eye. Looking back at Jack, she saw him grinning at her.

"He's growing up way too fast." She remarked, shifting the baby to her other shoulder. Jack moved to her and covered her lips in a tender kiss before leaning back.

"You did an unbelievable job with that one." He kissed her forehead. "I'm going to go make sure everything is ready. See you downstairs."

"Okay. Thanks." She moved to their bedroom, shutting the door. She could hear the door bell, which she knew meant Jack's mother had arrived, she was always ahead of schedule, and knew she had to hurry because she didn't want to be away from the party for too long. Shifting Aaron, she couldn't wait for all their friends to meet him. So much had really changed. For the better, of course.

xxxxx

As Kate reached the bottom of the stairs with Adam, the door bell rang again. Opening it, baby in her arms, she was greeted by Sun and Ji Yeon. Excited, Kate pulled Sun to her, embracing her over Adam.

"Sun! I'm so glad you two could make it!" Kate exclaimed, hugging the other woman tightly. Sun returned the embrace, before pulling back. "Hi Ji Yeon!" Kate greeted the young child as well, knowing Aaron would be so excited to have a playmate.

"Thank you for inviting us. I had some other business here in LA as well so it was no trouble." Sun turned her attention to the infant in Kate's arms. "Oh my gosh, is this Adam! He is just beautiful!" Sun touched the little boy's cheeks gently, as he stared up at her with his hazel orbs. "He has so much of both of you."

"Thank you. He is just a love." Kate replied, lovingly gazing at the small baby.

"I can't believe you and Jack really had a baby. Not to mention that you're married." Sun said it with such a kind yet wistful look it make Kate sad for her. The other thing Kate knew though was that off the Island, Jin had been sterile, so if it hadn't been for the Island, they never would have had Ji Yeon. They all had their own sense of appreciation for that Island, no matter how bad it had been, or what they had lost.

"I know," Kate agreed with a nod and a smile, "It seems almost surreal." They were interupted by another knock at the door, and as Kate pulled it open again, she was excited to see Sayid, and a pregnant Nadia. "Sayid! Nadia! How are you? Thank you for coming!" As she pulled the door open wider, she was suddenly aware of Jack behind her, sliding in, and taking the baby ever so gently from her, allowing her to greet her guests without worrying about Adam. Jack greeted Sayid, shaking his hand, and Kate, Nadia, and Sun embraced. All hands were on Nadia's belly, wanting details, how far along she was, and when she was due, whether it was a boy or a girl.

"I didn't know Nadia was pregnant, Sayid. Congratulations." Jack shook Sayid's hand again, this time with a wide grin, and Sayid shugged, a proud smile over this face.

"Last time we met, it didn't seem like the right moment to tell you. Plus, I think Nadia wanted to be the one to spread the news," the men chuckled at the women, where Nadia was telling of all that was going on, in a very animated way.

"Either way, I'm extremely happy for you. There's nothing more rewarding," Jack glanced down at Adam and Sayid then seemed to notice the infant.

"Congratulations to you and Kate. What a handsome baby." Sayid touched the baby's hand, who wrapped his fingers around his finger. "He's a strong one too," the men laughed as another knock came and the door opened.

"I hope I'm not interupting-"

"Hurley!" The crowd chimed, all of them greeting Hurley with wide smiles. Hurley had recently been released to his parents from Santa Rosa, and Kate had invited him, hoping it would calm any qualms between him and Jack and would give everyone a chance to enjoy each other. Unfortunately Desmond and Penny wouldn't be coming, Kate knew, as they were still sailing the world. Kate couldn't even locate them to invite them.

"Hey guys!" Everyone greeted Hurley with hugs and smiles, glad he could make it. Even Jack didn't seem to hold anything against the man, after their conversations while he was at the mental hospital. Kate watched the two men greet each other and felt a little more relaxed. Hurley then noticed Adam, a bright smile covering the larger man's face. "Hey dude, what's up?" he spoke to the small child, who's eyes were fixated on him. Kate noticed her father and Jack's mother standing in the foyer and proceeded again with introductions, knowing that they had all already met at the wedding, but wanting everyone to again become more familiar. After everyone was re-introduced, Kate took Adam from Jack, placing him in his swing she had placed in the kitchen so they could easily see him, where they all moved to for drinks and dinner. Kate felt a relaxed grin spread over her face and she pulled food out of the oven as everyone prepared to sit. If there was anything she appreciated about that Island, it was how they all had found each other.

* * *

"Oh my goodness, Kate! What a wonderful meal!" Sun laid her hand over her full stomach as everyone spoke their agreements. "I'm so full!" she laughed.

"Thank you. I enjoy cooking for everyone," Kate grinned, squeezing Jack's hand, which she was holding in between their adirondak chairs. They were all out on the back porch enjoy the firepit Jack had purchased a few days before for this particular event. The kids had roasted a few marshmellows before the parents had retired them to the living room for a disney movie, as they were only a little under a year apart, and they were now settled on the couch enjoying "Tarzan" quietly. Adam slept in his swing nearby, within earshot and view of his parents, as they sat outside, enjoying the sunset and their drinks. Kate turned her attention to Nadia, who naturally glowed with her pregnant aire and smiled. "I can't wait to meet you baby," Kate spoke sweetly. Nadia's smile grew larger.

"Me either. I'm so happy. It's such an amazing thing." Sayid squeezed his arm around Nadia's shoulders and Kate was so glad he had made it back to her. She had become a dear friend of Kate and Sun, as they all kept in touch, and though they had never spoken of their secret, Kate suspected Nadia knew the truth. It would be hard to be married to someone and not tell them, she decided. She stole a glance as Sun, who's right hand fingers rolled her wedding band around her ring finger o her left hand. Her face looked far away and as Nadia and Kate quieted their conversation, she spoke, softly.

"Do any of you ever think about it?" she asked quietly. The group stayed silent for a moment before Jack spoke.

"Of course we do. It was a big part of our lives. Not many people have to fight to survive the way we had to." He squeezed Kate's hand as he spoke tentatively, not wanting to upset anyone, and yet trying to comfort them as well. Judging by the looks around them, on all but her father, the only one now in the group Kate suspected, had no idea they weren't talking about being the 'Oceanic Six' but a far larger entity with a whole other story all together. Everyone nodded, agreeing with Jack's statement, and letting it rest there in a unsolicited silence on the topic. As Kate glanced around the group, making sure drinks were full, she stood.

"I'm going to make a cup of tea, would anyone like one?" There were a few murmers from the crowd and Kate counted and nodded, making her way inside. "Sun, want to join me?" Kate invited, to which Sun nodded. The women made their way past the children, checking them, and then into the kitchen, where Kate filled the tea kettle, and placed it on the stove, before turning to Sun comfortingly. "Sun, are you all right?" The Korean woman seemed taken aback by the question, but stayed strong for the moment, nodding.

"Yes, I am. For the most part." She stole a glance at Ji Yeon, and Kate's heart broke for her. "It's just so difficult to realize sometimes that she'll never meet her father." She wrapped her arms around herself, as if in comfort, and continued. "I also sometimes can't shake the fact that I feel like he's not dead."

"Oh, Sun," Kate moved to her, placing her hands comfortingly on Sun's arms.

"It's true, Kate. Sometimes I just feel as though I would know if he was dead, like I would feel it somewhere inside me, and I don't. And that makes me think, maybe, just maybe, he's not." Her eyes held a hope that Kate was surprised by. She didn't know what her response should be so she waited for Sun to continue. "Do you ever think about going back? For Claire, I mean?" Sun stared into Kate's eyes, searching for an answer Kate wasn't sure she would give her, honestly as least. Of course she thought about it, but would she ever do it?

"Well, Sun..." she drifted off, moving to the steaming kettle, and removing it from the burner, before looking back at the woman before her, begging with her dark eyes for some understanding. "I mean, of course I think about it, I mean, we all do, I think. But I don't know if I could ever go back. I mean, with a baby, and Aaron...I could never take them there."

"But what if Claire was there? Alone? Waiting for someone to come back for her?" Sun seemed passionate on this subject, as if trying to convince Kate this was the right thing to do. Kate was unsure of what to say, knowing that a lot of Sun's reasoning stemmed from leaving a husband. But then again, Claire was Jack's half-sister. Kate could feel her head beginning to hurt.

"I..I don't know. Maybe...I don't know. I don't think I can answer that. I'm just not sure," was Kate's non-commital answer. She poured the teas while she waited for Sun to answer, and when she turned back to the woman, she noticed a solitary tear sliding down her cheek. Kate moved to her quickly.

"I just...it's so hard to go on without him, Kate. Everyday I feel like I'm going to wake up and he's magically going to be there. I know I have to do it for Ji Yeon, but what about me? I want him back so badly. Can't you imagine if it were Jack? I know you'd do anything to get him back." Kate felt silenced at that statement, knowing how true it was. She would. She had. She didn't know if she would go on without him, especially now, with everything they had and how far they had come, with everything they had been through. Kate nodded her understanding but couldn't say anymore, fearing what her answers would implicate. She felt saved as Adam began to cry.

"I just..let me..." she moved to the baby quickly, scooping him up, and then proceeded placing the tea on a tray. Jack entered the kitchen soon after, signifying he had heard the baby's cry, and Kate felt like it was just one more shot at Sun. She had raised Ji Yeon all on her own so far, with only help from her family. Jack noticed Sun's distress but respectfully didn't say anything as he moved to Kate, with a questioning look.

"You want me to take him?" He offered. She shook her head with a reassuring grin.

"No thank you, if you could just give everyone their tea. We will be out in a minute." She rocked softly on her feet, swaying, as she comforted the baby. He nodded, reaching for the tray. As he left the kitchen, Kate turned to Sun calmly.

"Before you decide anything, I just want you to think about all the implications of what you're saying. Going back there would be...well, you know what it would be. We lost so many people, Sun. I just couldn't bare the thought..." she trailed off, glancing away at the children and then back at the sad woman's face before her. "Just think about Ji Yeon. At least right now she has you. Without you and without Jin, she'd be alone. Just think about that before you make any decisions." Kate released a hand from the baby and grasped Sun's squeezing it tightly. Sun nodded, in understanding, and the women made their way back out to the porch, their conversation put to rest.

* * *

As Jack and Kate lay in bed that night, after their children were put to sleep, and their company was gone, Kate turned Sun's words over and over in her head._ "Do you ever think about going back? For Claire, I mean?" _It was haunting Kate, which she found distressing, since she wasn't one to let such things have an effect over her. Her mind drifted to Sawyer briefly, and she wondered if he had made it back to the beach alive. Jack had been so sure, but what if he hadn't? There were so many people left behind, so many fates unknown. And what about Claire? Did or would Aaron need Claire? The thought stressed Kate and she tossed again for the fifth time, rousing a dozing Jack.

"What's going on over there , Mexican jumping bean?" he chuckled lightly, turning to face her. "Can't get comfortable?"

"Not really, I guess." She slightly confessed, rolling to face him. He placed a steadying hand on her hip, willing to ease her. She sighed heavily, and he probed further.

"What's the matter?"

"Sun was upset tonight." She began slowly, not really wanting to divulge their conversation, but also knowing they had promised no more secrets, especially about the Island.

"I noticed that in the kitchen. Is she all right?" Jack asked with genuine concern.

"I think she will be, however, she's been missing Jin a lot."

"Yeah, I can understand that," Jack had a small, hurt tone in his voice, and Kate knew he still blamed himself for that. She chose not to capitalize on that, but what Sun had said.

"She told me she feels Jin isn't dead." She waited a beat for that to sink in before she continued, "And she asked me if I ever thought about going back for Claire." She heard Jack suck in a shallow breath.

"Do you?" He asked more quietly. She could feel his eyes piercing her's through the darkness.

"Sometimes," she confessed honestly. "I always go back to whether I did the right thing taking him away from there. But then, when I see him, I know I did," she recovered. Sighing, she questioned him, "Do you?"

There was a long pause before he spoke, it was might have been one of the most honest tones she had ever heard from him.

"All the time." he said simply. When she didn't reply, he spoke quickly, as if to save himself. "I have a lot of guilt, Kate, about a lot of things there. And I struggle everyday with decisions we made...I made. And after I found out Claire was my half-sister..." he drifted off, as if not knowing what else he would say. When she didn't speak, he spoke again, this time softer. "Are you mad?" There was long pause before she answered, as if she had to think about it.

"No, Jack. I'm not mad. I just don't think I could give up the life we have to go back there. We have two babies, a beautiful house, you have a great job. We're married now. I just don't think I want to throw that away and go back there, with no sureness we'll make it back again." She spoke with the mortal mentality of a parent. If they didn't come back, who would take care of their children? They couldn't very well take their children with them.

Jack leaned foreward and kissed her forehead, before pulling her closer, her breath coming out against his the crook of this neck. "I know Kate. And I'm not asking you too. You asked me a question. I just aswered it honestly."

"I thank you for that." She reached up, covering his lips with hers, before snuggling closer. He held her tightly, as if both were afraid to lose the other. She so appreciated him being honest with her, but she couldn't help wonder if he really meant what he had said. Did he really want to go back?

She drifted off to sleep with that thought crossing her mind, and in the back of her head, she simply prayed it wasn't true. She loved him a lot, but she didn't know if she could do that for him.

* * *

**I thank you in advance for reviewing ;-) You all are so wonderful, I know you can do it. Your reviews help me determine where I'm going with this story...hint hint. ;-) **


	33. Chapter 33

Chapter 33

Hey everyone! I can honestly say I was shocked by the outcome of the poll so far! Especially cause a lot of reviews were like "Ahh! No Island!" haha. So we shall see where I go for sure, but I will definitely try to make a little something for everyone. Thank you SO much to everyone for reviewing and voting in the poll. I cannot get over how wonderful you all are! :-D Thank you thank you.

silvercharm: I love your handle..a great racehorse was named Silver Charm. He won the Derby in '98 I think. LoL Anyway, I will not kill Nadia :-) My promise to you. :-)

Shanna: More is coming, don't worry...hahah :-P

Amy: My ending will not be the same as the Island. I do NOT want Jack dying again hahah. And I've gone so far off story line, anyway, it wouldn't be the same as the show lol.

Please, anyone, feel free to PM me if you have an idea or a thought. I'd love to read and discuss them. Thanks!

Just a little time-line reminder (I had to figure out what month is was and such so I just wanted to share)...it's becoming mid April. Kate will be 31 in May (She was born in 1977 in May, according to Lostpedia), Adam will be a month old, Aaron will be 4 in November (remember, it's 2008 in my story, since Jack and Kate got married that January) and Jack will be 39 in December of 2008. Just so everyone knows where we are and what's going on (because I, myself, was honestly getting a little confused LOL). All of this is based off the timeline on . Also, mind you, this is the year Jon Lester pitched a no-hitter for the Red Sox, yay for Jack :-P

I am out of town Sunday to Wednesday so you will get an update when I get back. I will have plenty of time on the plane with my ipod to determine what shall happen next! *excited clap* all right, enough already. On to the chapter.

Oh, and one more thing. I hope everyone is okay with intimate Jate. I haven't done too much of that til now but it is a part of adult relationships so I'm going to include it. Just an fyi. I will change the rating soon, when that part comes along ;-) hahaha

For real now...

xxxx

Kate leaned her forearms on the railing of their porch and watched Jack play a young version of wiffle ball with Aaron. Her father had been gone a week, and Adam had just turned a month old. Everything seemed to be going to fast in their lives, and yet so slow at the same time.

It was getting warm in Los Angeles, as it did in April, and Kate couldn't wait until Adam was old enough and they could take him to the beach. She had begun walking with him in the new stroller her father had purchased for her, since it was a specialized running stroller, that way, when she was ready, she would be able to run, and get back into shape. Two more weeks until her first doctor's appointment since Adam's birth. She was happy and yet dreaded it at the same time.

It was amazing to Kate that only a month ago, Kate had been pregnant, and she technically hadn't been due until that week. Secretly, she was glad now that she had gone into labor and delivered Adam, as she had been over being pregnant. She had enjoyed it, it had been nothing like anything she had ever experienced, but she was glad it had ended when it did, even though it had been a terrifying situation. The police finally ruled in a court hearing that the accident hadn't been her fault, as she was hit by a man who had run a red light in a truck as equally as large as her SUV, and he was paying her medical bills and his insurance was covering the damage to her car. Kate had been momentarily worried that because of her background, she would be treated unfairly, but she was mistaken, and happily at that.

Kate had seen Sun one last time before she had left LA for Korea, and they hadn't spoke of their conversation in Kate's kitchen that night. Kate still struggled silently with what Sun had said, and what she really felt about the Island. She loved her life back on the mainland, and didn't think she could ever be away from her children long enough to go there and 'rescue' the others trapped there. After all, Adam was only a month old, he was still nursing and she was still recovering from his birth. There was no way she was in any condition to go back there, nor was she even sure she wanted to.

She and Jack had not spoken of it either, as she feared it would drive another wedge in their relationship. Jack had been working more than before, and the little time they were able to spend together she didn't want to disrupt with foolish talk of the Island. There were other things worth talking about before that. She had also contemplated telling her father the whole story and asking his oppinion, but had decided against it because he worked for the military. It didn't seem right to bring him into something he might have to explain or that might effect his professional life. And she was ready to explain everything just yet. There were a lot of things that had happened there that she wasn't proud of.

Shaking her head of her thoughts, and sipped her tea and focused back on her husband and son playing in the yard. It was Sunday, their family day, and Jack was preparing Aaron for baseball season, Jack's favorite time of year. His Red Sox were looking good so far in spring training, and Jack made sure everyone knew that. He was a rare breed on the west coast, being a Red Sox fan, but he wasn't ashamed, and even wanted to take the family to Fenway that year, in September maybe. Kate loved that he was passionate about something other than 'saving people', and enjoyed that it was something he could share with her and Aaron, and eventually Adam, who already had his first Red Sox jersey, #54 for Jonathan Papelbon.

The phone interupted her thoughts and she moved past her sleeping infant, into the house to answer it.

"Hello?" Kate spoke into the portable receiver, leaning her back against the kitchen counter.

"Hi, um..." there was a pause on the other end, and Kate waited for someone to continue, noting it was a female voice, "Is Jack there, please?" the woman asked. Kate's curiousity peaked as she moved to the open sliding door, stepping through.

"Sure, hang on a minute please," figuring it must be the hospital, though they rarely called the house, she called to her husband. "Jack, the phone's for you."

"Okay!" he called back, before looking back at Aaron. "Hang on a few seconds, kiddo, I'll be right back." He dropped the ball, and rubbed the little boy on his baseball cap before jogging easily to the porch and reaching for the phone. "Hello?" Kate heard him speak into the reciever. She watched a mix of emotions travel over his face before he climbed the porch stairs away from her and dissapeared into the house, his voice muffled as he did so. Kate watched him walk away, before she felt a small hand slip into her's and a tug.

"Mommy, will you throw to me?" the blonde-haired child staring up at her always made her smile.

"Sure, baby," she glanced back up at the sleeping baby, on the deck, and then made her way behind Aaron to a few paces away from the porch, where Jack had been pitching to Aaron, and picked up the small white ball, beginning to toss it to Aaron. Her mind drifted a little bit to who might be on the phone with Jack and then back to the child in front of her, who was definantly working on his swing. Kate found his determination adorable, and felt like, even though he was Jack's son, he got that from Jack's father.

Jack emerged about ten minutes later, his face a little paler, and his demeanor a little chippy. He seemed to be trying to recover though, checking the baby, and making his way across the freshly cut lawn, flashing a smile at Kate.

"He's pretty good, huh?" Jack kissed the side of Kate's head affectionately, then she nodded.

"Yeah, he's got a great little swing." Handing Jack the ball, she inquired. "Who was on the phone?" Jack shrugged.

"Hospital. New ER receptionist. A doctor needed my advice on something and she couldn't find my cell number." That seeming the end of the explanation he was giving, he turned back to Aaron. Kate stood for a moment, feeling suddenly awkward, and then moved back toward the porch, climbing to sit on the steps. Just as she sat, the baby let out a tiny cry, and she sighed, standing and making her way to the fussing infant. Picking him up, she carried him inside, knowing he probably needed a changing and another feeding.

xxxx

Jack wandered into the living room after dinner where Kate sat, in the arm chair, feet propped up on the table, Adam laying quietly on the space between her thighs, a book in her hands. Aaron had long dissapeared to play with his toys in his new bedroom slash play room before bedtime, where the guest room had been days before, and Jack had just finished putting Adam's new crib together. Moving to stand in front of Kate, he stooped down, scooping the baby into his arms, supporting his head with his strong arm. Kate smiled at him as he settled down on the couch, picking up the television remote. A yawn followed.

"Wow, I am exhausted, I think." Jack commented, rocking the child slightly, while flipping the channels on the television. Kate nodded at him.

"I feel your pain. This getting up at three am for feeding time is getting a little old already." She stretched for emphasis before moving to where her legs were over one arm, her back against the other, facing Jack.

"Maybe you should pump, and then we can take turns. Or if you don't want to get up, I can get up and feed him. And then we'll have bottles too, in case you want to go out or something." Kate shrugged, acknowleging the idea.

"I could, I suppose." Jack chuckled at her indecisiveness, knowing she didn't want to do it because it had hurt the last time she had done it, before their conversation on the beach.

"It won't hurt like last time. They're used to it now." Kate made a disgusted face.

"I don't want to think they're used to anything. I want them to go back to normal!." she grabbed her breasts over her shirt for emphasis, causing Jack to laugh outloud. They had grown, as she was nursing, and she complained of their weight and size. Jack, on the other hand, had made no such complaint.

"I think they're great. They fit you." He laughed again when he face showed a dubious expression. "I'm just saying..."

"Sure, sure. That's the guy in you."

"Last I checked, that's what I was."

"Well, its been a while since I was allowed to check, so I'm just speaking on that referance," she made a pouty expression before sinking lower into the soft chair.

"You can check any time you like, you know where to find it," the twinkle in his eyes made her stomach flip a little, and she had to look away before she ended up on top of him.

"Soon," she spoke quietly, "Very soon."

"I sure hope so," he agreed. She sighed deeply before changing the subject.

"So, what's your schedule like this week?" Kate asked curiously, knowing it was a safe, non-sexual subject.

"Surgeries all day on Wednesday, consults Tuesday and Thursday, my meetings Monday, Wednesday, Friday. On call next weekend. It's a busy week."

"This is normal, isn't it?" Kate asked, somewhat dissapointed. Jack sighed.

"Yeah, probably, at least for a while. I need to pull my weight a bit." Rubbing his forehead with his free hand, he looked very tired suddenly.

"I'm sorry you had to take time off after the accident." Kate spoke quietly, in a somber tone, as she shifted again on the chair, until she was sitting up again.

"Kate, you were pregnant, and then you had a premature baby. And I wanted to spend time with you both. Don't be sorry, it's not your fault. I enjoyed taking a break. Being a doctor isn't exactly known as a career where you get a lot of free time. And plus I get used to it, I just need to get back into the routine and I'll be fine." He patted the couch next to him, and Kate moved, laying her head on his shoulder, her curls tickling his face. He kissed her forehead. "I'll miss you guys though. Start thinking about what you want to do for your birthday and our honeymoon."

"Speaking of our honeymoon, exactly how are we going to go away? I am technically banned from leaving the state until I'm 40." She sighed heavily again, covering her face sadly. Jack didn't seem rocked by her statement.

"Don't worry, I've got some things in the works."

"Like what?" Kate sat up a little straighter and eyed him cautiously. "What are you doing?" She questioned.

"I've just got my mother's laywer looking into a few things. Don't worry, nothing that will hurt your chances. I'll keep you posted on what he says." Jack's secretive smile surprised her a little but she gave in to his looks and layed back against him.

"Don't get me put in jail, understand?" she said only half kidding. He patted her thigh comfortingly and nodded.

"I promise, I won't."


	34. Chapter 34

Chapter 34

**Hey all. Sorry for being a little AWOL and for the last chapter being short. It's been kind of a crazy week-ending (I've been working since I got back from being out of town, literally) and I have been trying to decide what I am going to do with this story. So, after warming up my Jake/Kate legs, I think I have come to a conclusion. And it's a biiiig secret! hehehe Ehh, you'll figure it out soon enough. I've got some other J/K business to get out of the way first, and I think you guys are going to like the next few chapters, which I promise will be longer than the last. ;-) **

**I want to thank everyone for voting in my poll. :-D You all are so wonderful. I hope everyone is happy with my decision, or at least will keep reading because they like my story. Thank you all again. I appreciate each and every one of you. **

**Okay, enough jibber jabber...**

**xxxxx**

Kate yawned and stretched as she opened her eyes. Peering around the sun-brightened room, she was surprised that she had slept the whole night through, with no interuption from Adam. They had moved him to his own room now, and the last two weeks had been blissfully quiet. At least in their room. Jack had to hold Kate down when they put Adam in his crib to sleep in his own room, and he cried through the monitor. She always felt terrible, wanting to run straight to him, to hold him until his cries subsided, but Jack tried to assure her he would be fine, that he needed to learn to fall asleep on his own. At 6 weeks old, he was safe in his crib by himself, he had told her. And now, two weeks into the transition, after waking from a solid night of rest, she was finally starting to agree with him.

Pulling herself up and out of the king size bed, she was also glad he had talked her into pumping for Adam. Even though, now, every morning her breasts were four sizes bigger than normal, and fairly painful, from sleeping the whole night through without feeding Adam, they could take turns feeding him in the middle of the night. This past night had been Jack's turn, and as she brushed her teeth, she realized he had never come back to bed. Or at least she didn't think he had, having slept through him getting up to feed Adam, she wasn't sure she knew . Pulling her robe on, she began toward Adam's, going through her day in her head. Jack had a meeting at 9 a.m., she had a doctor's appointment at 11 a.m., and Veronica would be there an hour before Kate had to leave. Since it was only seven, she didn't feel rushed yet.

Opening Adam's door, she saw the little infant sleeping away, still in dreamland, lying in his powder blue crib, covered by his small, velvet monkey blanket. Jack had done an amazing job painting the room, she decided. It was simply, with navy blue below the border, powder blue above, a border of white in between. An oak changing table lay on one side the the room, next to a small dresser, full of Adam and Aaron's baby clothes. Pictures of them as a family sat along the dresser, and she felt so comfortable in this room. The rocking chair sat in the corner, beneath a small light, that way, the big overhead light wouldn't keep Adam from falling back asleep after they fed him.

Leaving him be, she ventured down the stairs, meeting the delicious smell of fresh coffee. Dressed in his black slacks and a light blue button down, his tie still not tied around his neck, she took in the handsome sight of her freshly showered and shaved husband. His commute to St. Sebastain's could take up to an hour from their house with traffic, and Jack hated to be late. So he was usually the first up in the household, now that he was back in a routine, and Aaron was usually second to follow. They spent thirty minutes in their mornings, Jack having his first cup of coffee, Aaron a glass of orange juice, and they would watch the morning news on CNN together. Aaron didn't understand what they were talking about, but he enjoyed Jack's company. Then, after their first cup of coffee and juice, Jack would switch the channel to Disney, and Aaron would watch a couple Disney shows while Jack would shower, shave, and dress in the bathroom off the kitchen, as not to wake Kate. And then they would enjoy breakfast together, usually pancakes or French toast, sometimes just cereal or toast. This was the routine they had set into and Kate enjoyed the fact that they could spend time like this together, without her, just enjoying each other. Jack held it as sacred time with Aaron, as well, only sleeping in on Saturdays when he didn't have to round on patients, so he and Kate could cuddle. The other 6 days were spent in this routine.

Kate was greeted with a lingering kiss and a 'good morning' as her husband poured her a cup of coffee. She gladly accepted the mug and walked to Aaron, who was sitting in his usual chair, eating his French Toast, enjoying a glass of milk. Kissing the top of his head, and squeezed his little shoulders.

"Good morning, Sweet Pea. How did you sleep?"

"Good. Daddy made French Toast. Want some?" He held up a peice on his fork and she giggled, shaking her head.

"No, thank you, baby. I'm going to have some oatmeal." Aaron made a face at her preferance and she and Jack shared a chuckle. Turning, she leaned on the counter of the island, grinning at Jack, who was eating his French Toast, drinking his coffee, and reading the local paper, while standing. "Did you sleep well?" She asked curiously, a twinkle in her eye. Jack met her eyes with the same look.

"Not as good as I'm going to sleep tonight," came his smart-ass response, causing her eyes to widen and her head to nod in Aaron's direction. Jack simply shrugged, and took a bite of his food. "He doesn't know what I'm talking about." He countered, as she rolled her eyes.

"If you think you're getting it that easy, you've got another thing coming." She stood straighter and made her way around the island to him, snaking an arm around his trim waist. "I'm not that easy, Mr. Shephard," Kate spoke softly, glancing up at his hazel eyes. She could see the lust pass through them before he regained his composure and stepped away from her, not trusting himself.

"We'll see about that, missy." He checked his watch, drank his last sip of coffee, and began tying his black tie. "I'll be home about 8:30. I'm going to hit the gym and my meeting after work, if I get out on time."

"All right. I'll have dinner ready for you." She winked at him, sipping her own coffee. She moved around him to make herself breakfast and felt him brush against her.

"You better," came what was practically a growl from the professionally dressed man behind her. She felt a familiar tingle as he moved away as quick as he had moved to her, and she looked up to see him sliding on his suit jacket and then watched him place his dishes in the dishwasher, along with his coffee mug. He then refolded the newspaper. She had trained him so well, she thought with a grin.

Kissing Aaron on the top of his head, Jack picked up his briefcase and turned to her. "Okay, I'm off. I'll see you tonight. Love you, kiddo."

"Love you too, Daddy," came Aaron's response through his full mouth. Kate shot a warning glance at the young child, who's head dropped a little and they heard a mumbled 'sorry' come from him. The two adults laughed as Jack made his way swiftly to Kate, placing a hand gently on her hip, and placing a sweet kiss directly on her lips, tasting a mixture of coffee and the Irish Creme creamer she liked in her coffee. Grinning against her lips, he hated his part of his day.

"I'll call you in a little bit."

"I look foreward to it."

"Let me know how you appointment goes."

"Will do." She never wanted him to go, as much as he never wanted to. She was still surprised sometimes by how much they still felt like newlyweds, and how it seemed that it might never changed. She wondered if there'd be a day he wouldn't want her as much as he did that very minute.

"Okay. I love you." He said it softly, sweetly, his hand still firmly placed on her small hipbone. She rubbed his bulging tricep through his jacket.

"I love you too. Be safe." He kissed her one last time, and then licking his lips, he retreated to the front door, leaving her starring off into space.

"Mommy, the microwave is ringing," came the little voice that interupted her thoughts, bringing her back to reality. Hopefully, the day wouldn't drag on too much, she grinned to herself.

xxxxx

"Well, Mrs. Shephard, it's great to see you again." Dr. Richardson greeted Kate as she stepped into the exam room. Kate sat somewhat uncomfortably on the table, knowing all of the things the doctor had to check before she could leave that day. Needless to say, it wasn't the kind of appointment one would get excited about. "So how is everything going with the little one?"

"Great. He's absolutely wonderful." Kate answered as the doctor prepared to take blood and run other tests.

"How've you been feeling?"

"Pretty good. I was sore for a while, but not too much anymore."

"That's pretty normal. I'm just going to draw some blood here, and then we'll get onto the exam part." As she drew blood from Kate's arm, Kate looked around the room, realizing she hadn't spent much time doing that here. The diagrams on the wall made her stomach toss a little, and she thought it funny to herself she had never really bothered to look at pictures of what was happening inside of her. She was happy now she hadn't.

When the doctor had finished, she instructed Kate to lie back. Kate did her best to distract her mind as Dr. Richardson did her routine exam. Kate always hated this part about her visits. Once finished, she sat back up, and the doctor noted things on her chart.

"You're healing very well. Everything looks good, and I think you can be cleared for exersize and any sexual activity. Just be careful, and if you have any pain, during either, stop. Okay?" Kate felt her heart do a little leap and nodded, smiling. Before she could comment, the doctor took a seat, reviewing her chart. "So, what kind do you want to go on?"

Kate was puzzled. "What kind of what?" The doctor laughed a little at Kate's innocence.

"Birth control, honey. Your hormones are a little crazy right now, and there's a good chance you'll get pregnant sooner than you would like. If you go on birth control, it won't effect your nursing and it's probably for the best if you're not ready for another baby." Kate nodded adamantly, and the doctor laughed. "That's the response I usually get."

They dicussed a brand for Kate, and then chatted about a few more important points the doctor felt Kate needed to know about the upcoming months and Adam's growth, and then, after Kate dressed, she walked to the front office to schedule her next one and pick up her prescription. Feeling elated and even a little nervous about impeding activities, she dialed Jack's number on her way to her car. It rang four times before it went to his voicemail, and figuring he was still in his staff meeting, she left a message, "Hey Jack, it's me. Just left the doctor's, wanted to share the news. Call me back. Love you!" Clicking her phone shut, and climbed into the Tahoe and pulled out of the parking lot.

xxxxx

Jack walked out of his meeting and checked his watch. Kate was just going into her appointment, judging by the time. A small smile lit up his face as he thought of her and made his way back to his office. Walking down the patient-filled hallway, a man made a wave and a grin at Jack, moving around other people to get closer. Jack wasn't sure he recognised the man as he reached him.

"Dr. Shephard! Hi, how are you?" The man extended his hand to Jack as he racked his brain about who this man might be.

"I'm well. Do I-"

"John Connor. You did surgery on me back in November. I was your ex-wife's husband." Recognition finally dawned on Jack. Sarah's husband, the car accident on Thanksgiving. He had transferred the patient to another doctor and had forgotten all about it to ease his own conscience.

"Mr. Connor. I'm glad to see you're doing well." Jack said, as sincerely as he could muster. He didn't mean to be rude, but this was the man Sarah had cheated on him with. That still would never sit well in his stomach.

"I am. I've been doing rehab and they say my back is healing great. It's all thanks to you and your surgeries. Thank you very much for everything. Sarah was right about you." The man suddenly seemed bitter and Jack thought back to his conversation a few weeks before with Sarah when she had called the house. This all didn't sit very well with Jack. "I'm sure you know..." the shorter man drifted off, shrugging.

"Congratulations on the baby." was all Jack could manage, faking a smile. The man seemed confused and then relieved.

"Oh, thank you. Yeah, she's a great little baby. About two and a half months now." He seemed sad and wistful and Jack was growing more uncomfortable by the second. "_Oh no"_, was what his mind screamed as he caught Sarah walking this way toward the two men. She was holding an infant, with a diaper bag over her shoulder, and Jack had a moment, a flash, where he felt angry and saddened, like this had been meant to be his life, so many years ago, that the baby was supposed to be his and hers, not the baby she shared with this other man. She smiled up at him and he noted how she had aged since he'd last seen her. Probably the effects of trying to have and raise a baby, as well as go through a divorce, he decided. He did the best he could to continue to act impartial, digging a smile up from somewhere and displaying it on his suddenly weary face.

"Sarah, hi." He greeted. She smiled up at him with a shy, yet proud smile and Jack had never wished so hard for his pager to go off as he was that moment.

"Jack. How are you?" She greeted. John placed a chaste kiss on her cheek and she dropped her head a moment, before looking back up at him, her eyes a bit darker.

"I'm well, and yourself?"

"I'm going okay, thanks." She turned to her husband, or ex-husband, or estranged husband...Jack wasn't sure what was going on just yet. "How was your appointment?"

"Good, I just have to go to the lab for some testing. I should be done in another 30 minutes. Why don't you go have a cup of coffee and I'll meet you downstairs?" They seemed not sure of each other, which Jack thought was odd, as they had been married for a little over four years before now. Jack felt more confused by the second, mostly as to why he was still standing there. Checking his watch again, he tried to tactfully interupt their conversation. Clearing his throat, he raised his hand slightly.

"I am sorry to do this but I've actually got to get back over to my office. I hope your rehab keeps going well for you, John. Sarah, it was good to see you," he lied, flashing an equally fake grin. "Take care, both of you." He made his way down the hall, feeling like he had just jumped through a fiery hoop before a small groan escaped his lips, as he heard his name behind him.

"Jack! Wait!" Sarah's voice came to him, and clenching his jaw, he slowed his stride, alowing her to catch up. He was, after all, curious as to what she might want from him. Turning, she breezed up beside him, baby still in her arms, staring at him with her big blue eyes. She was a pretty baby, he did have to admit. Only to himself, of course.

"What do you want, Sarah?" He asked, trying to hold his patience together. She brushed a hair out of her face, and he began to walk again, annoyed at her pregnant pause.

"Jack! I just wanted to talk to you, you know. Since it's been a few weeks, and I'm still struggling with what happened the last time we met here-"

"You mean, the kiss," he interupted, in a hushed tone, still walking through the hospital at a decent clip, forcing her to keep up.

"Yeah, that." She seemed to want him to say something and when he didn't, she tried prompting, stepping in to the elevator behind him. "So.."

"Sarah, you called my house two weeks ago, just to chat," he used quotations around the last three words, "and I don't understand exactly what you're trying to get at. I'm married. I have a baby. I'm happy. I don't know what you want." He rubbed the bridge of his nose, exasperated.

"Well, I mean," she stuttered, "didn't you feel anything?" Her eyes led him to believe she was hopeful he did.

"When you kissed me? No, I didn't! You're not getting it, are you?" The elevator door opened on his office floor, and he faked a smile as they moved out into the hallway. His secretary watched him as they passed, knowing who Sarah was, because she'd been his father's secretary as well, and he smiled at her, hoping to ease any unsureness that would certainly surround his office, as they all knew Kate well.

"Not getting what? Jack, I'm sorry I called your house and I'm sorry that this is out of place, but I miss you," He lightly moved her into his office, and made sure his look meant every word he was about to say.

"Sarah, I don't miss you. I'm happy. I'm sorry you're not, but please, just leave us-" he was cut off by her cell phone and angrily counted to ten in his head, as she tried one-handedly to get her phone out of her purse. When she couldn't, she handed the infant to Jack, who became visibly uncomfortable with the task. Finally answering the phone, she held up her pointer finger, signaling 'one minute' and stepped into the hallway, leaving him holding her daughter, who's name he didn't even know. Not knowing what else to do, he set his paperwork down on his desk, and carried the baby around the office, trying to soothe it. She wasn't crying, just unsure, and Jack knew it wasn't her fault her mother was the way she was. There was no reason to take it out on the child, he knew. So he held the baby against his lab-coat clad chest, and rocked it gently, looking out his office window at downtown Los Angeles. A knock on his door sounded and he turned, expecting it to be Sarah, but was shocked at who he saw and felt he had been caught with his hand in the cookie jar. Her smile dropped a few notches at the sight of him holding an infant in his office, but as resiliant as she was, she didn't hesitate, moving closer to him.

"Hey you," She leaned up on her tip toes, kissing his lips, before looking down at the bundle in his arms.

"Hey Kate, what are you doing here?" He asked, trying to sound as innocent as he didn't feel.

"I wanted to surprise you and see if you might be able to sneak away for a few minutes." She ran her hand under his lab-coat, across his backside with a mischevious grin, while continuing, "Who's this?"

"Um, would you believe it, I don't know her name," he shifted uncomfortably, dreading the moment he knew was about to happen.

"Oh no, poor thing! Where'd you get her?" Kate rubbed the baby's cheeks with her petite and was staring at Jack waiting for his reaction when Sarah became present at the door to Jack's office, looking surprised, and, to Jack's surprise and embarassment, a little angry. Jack looked between Kate's surprised face and Sarah's surprised face, and wasn't sure exactly what to say.

"Sorry, Jack. Thank you for holding her, it was my lawyer." She overlooked Kate, who stood, silent and dumbfounded, beside Jack. She wasn't one to judge, and generally wasn't the most jealous person, but she wasn't really sure what to think about the scene she had apparently walked in on. Jack shifted, unsure, and spoke.

"Sarah, you know my wife Kate." The women eyed each other, much like the last time, and Sarah nodded, her stare cold.

"Hi Kate."

"Sarah."

Jack pondered a way to diffuse the situation, but Kate spoke before he could. "You know what, babe, I have to get back to Adam and Aaron, I told Veronica I'd be home by one, so just give me a call later." She kissed his cheek and excused herself.

"Kate, wait..." he started, but she was gone before he could say anything else. Angry at himself, and Sarah, he clenched his jaw, and looked back down at her. "I think you need to go."

"But, what about-"

"What about nothing, Sarah. I have work to do, and I need to go talk to my _wife_." He stressed the word and made his way toward the door, waiting for her to follow. When she was in the hallway with him, he shut the office door, locked it, and began to angrily stride away from her.

"I don't give up that easily, Jack." She called after him, her own voice carrying a mad tone. He turned for a moment to face her.

"I don't know about that, Sarah, you did last time." And with that he was running, down the stairs, after Kate.

xxxxx

Jack reached the lobby, pushing open the door and made his way through the crowded area, looking for Kate's brunette locks. When she was no where to be seen, he practically ran to the main door, looking for her Tahoe out front. Angry he had missed her, he reached for his cell phone, then realizing it was back up in his office. Frusterated, he headed back to the elevator, infuriated by the exchange that had taken place, and hoping Sarah didn't appear when the door opened. When the elevator opened to an reveil an empty area, Jack stepped in and leaned back against the side as the door shut. He wasn't exactly sure what to say to Kate now, since an explanation seemed futile at this point. He just hoped she wasn't upset and would listen to and believe his truth.

xxxxx

Kate sat at a red light and slammed her palm angrily into the steering wheel. She wasn't exactly why she was so upset and she wished she could pin-point an exact reason so she could dismiss it. Sarah was history for Jack, no matter what she did, she was married, with a baby, and Jack was married to her, with two babies. He wasn't stupid enough to have an affair on her, she knew, and he loved her too much. They were happy together, right? She questioned herself.

But then why would Sarah be in Jack's office, with Jack holding her baby? Kate felt emotional and upset as she pulled into the drive of their home. She let an angry tear slip and then took a few deep breathes. She didn't have time to sit and cry and be mad and confused and upset about what she had seen. She just couldn't allow herself to go down that route. And why be upset, she promted herself, when she didn't even know the real reason behind Sarah's visit. And the fact that Jack didn't know the baby's name could only mean he didn't know the child. Unless he was lying, she thought frantically for a moment, staring at their beige garage door. But why would he lie, she rationalized. He wouldn't do anything with Sarah behind her back, she knew the whole story. And he didn't love her. Not anymore, anyway. He loved her, his Kate. Taking a few more breathes, she cut her thoughts short and pushed open the door to the SUV, jumping out and heading to the front door. She didn't have time. She had a baby to feed, and Aaron to play with. There were too many important things she had to do. Getting upset about a situation she knew nothing about wasn't going to do any of those things or solve anything. She pushed open the door, greeted by Veronica carrying a wimpering Adam, and Aaron, who seemed very pleased with her arrival.

After paying and thanking Veronica, she carried Adam into the kitchen, bouncing him in her arms, while trying to prepare a bottle for the baby and juice for Aaron. Aaron made her smile with his stories of his day, and that was all Kate needed to try to overcome the demons in her head.

xxxxx

The door opened at 8:30, as predicted by Jack that morning, and he set down his gym bag and breifcase upon entering, shutting and locking the door behind him. He called for Kate, who didn't answer and as he moved around the dimly lit house, he found the television off, a plate of food for him on the stove, covered in tin foil, and a clean kitchen. He wondered if she'd already gone to bed as he made his way up the stairs, finding their empty bed. Checking the baby, who was asleep peacefully, he figured the only place left for Kate was Aaron's room. He headed back down the stairs and past the living room to Aaron's room, pushing open the door. Kate was laying on Aaron's twin bed, his head on shoulder, a book on her stomach. Reaching then, he realized both Kate and Aaron were sound asleep, and it was an illustrated _The Land Before Time_ lying across her. Picking it up, he realized she hadn't read very far, the part where Little Foot's mother dies staring up at him. She looked so peaceful laying with Aaron, he left her there, dissapointed in how their day had ended up going. Covering the two, he headed back into the kitchen and decided to trim the daisies he had purchased her, and put them in a vase. It was methodical and he took his time, cutting each flower just right.

He was mad at Sarah for showing up, as always, and couldn't figure out how to make her go away. Through his whole five mile run, through his weight sets, and even his AA meeting, he had tried to come up with a scenario, a plan, anything to make her leave him alone. All he wanted was for him and Kate to be happy, and honest with each other, and he felt sometimes that just as they settled into a routine, when everything seemed to fit into place, something would come in and throw a monkey wrench in things. It had happened on the Island all the time. Everytime he would be about to kiss her, or tell her how he felt, someone would interupt or something would happen that needed their attention. So many times that had happened. Maybe this was the same thing. Maybe life was just a series of interuptions and you just had to work around them, he contemplated. That still didn't make him feel any better about Sarah.

Arranging the flowers in the vase-he hadn't until this moment realized he was apparently a florist too-he peered at them, shifting them until they were perfect. She would see them, in the morning, when she wandered into the kitchen. It made him smile, to think of her smiling.

Eating his supper, he cleaned up the kitchen, shut off the remainder of lights, and decided it was for the best that Kate stay with Aaron, and he let her work off any stress she might have about what happened at the hospital. There was always tomorrow for them to talk about what had happened, he knew. Unfortunately, he didn't have any free time this weekend, having surgery tomorrow, Friday, and then being on call Saturday and Sunday, having to round on patients. He hoped he might be able to snag her for dinner, maybe he could get her to enjoy a nice night out forget their 'Sarah' issue, which, he thought, shouldn't be an issue itself.

Undressing, he took a quick, hot shower to relieve any left over tension from his day. It was his third one that day, but he didn't mind, it gave him time to wind down and to think. Life was so hectic sometimes, he didn't get that option. He was also frusterated in another way, one that was supposed to be released that evening but to no avail, things in that department had been interupted too. He didn't even know how her appointment had gone, he realized, feeling dissapointed with himself. Turning the shower off, he decided that tomorrow would be a new day, and there was nothing he could do to fix what was now done at this hour anyway. Climbing into bed, he hoped he would wake up next to her tomorrow morning, that things would relieve themselves.

xxxxx

Reviews are loooove. Please let me know what you think. :-)


	35. Chapter 35

Chapter 35

_Maybe I'm crazy,_

_But it's crazy and it's true_

_I know you can save me_

_No one else can save me now but you_

_ -"I'd do anything for love" Meatloaf featuring Lorraine Crosby_

Kate let the hot shower water rinse over her like a curtain, trying to wash herself of the previous days events and make sense of all that had happened. She had a slight headache from having been up since feeding Adam, unable to fall back to sleep, and unable to make herself go upstairs and into her bed. She had lied on the couch flipping channels for hours, trying to make herself tired but to no avail. She'd finally found peace in a dish of ice cream and a made-for-tv movie that had caught her interest, anything to keep her mind of Jack.

She hadn't spoken to him since being in the his office with him and Sarah. She had ignored his calls, not ready to hear his response or excuse, and had kept herself busy with the kids. Why she felt so mad or irritated she wasn't sure, to be truthful. But walking in on her husband holding Sarah's baby had been a little much for her to handle, especially because what little bit she knew about Sarah, and the last time she had run into her, she doubted she was there on business. She also knew she and her husband were getting divorced or were divorced already and that left a sour taste her in mouth because now Sarah had nothing holding her back from Jack. All these thoughts swirled in her head as she showered, making her sigh in slight defeated.

_There was no way Jack was having an affair with Sarah, right? _She shook her head violently at the thought, knowing he wouldn't do something like that to her. Or at least she hoped that was true. No, she knew it was, right? That wasn't Jack. She knew he loved her and cared for her and their babies so why would he do that?

She had not purposely fallen asleep in Aaron's bed the night before and had been surprised when she woke up to feed the baby and Jack had gone to bed without waking her. She had a fear he hadn't come home, but she realized he'd eaten his dinner and put his dishes away, and gone up to bed. Nothing out of the ordinary except that she hadn't been there to greet him. She felt bad about that, and felt bad he hadn't woken her. What did _that_ mean?

Her stomach now felt like it was in more knots that moments before, and sighing, she shut off the shower and stepped out. Kate was taking the kids to Jack's mother's early, because she needed to get out of the house and get her thoughts straight and she had to grocery shop and run such errands. Kate supposed Jack was up by now, probably using the other shower, as not to disturb her, as the conversation they would need to have was not one for over early morning coffee. Or maybe she just wasn't ready to hear what his explanation might be.

Sliding her robe on and stepping out into the hallway, she carried her towels and things in her arms, situating them as she walked. She was unaware of the figure in front of her as she smashed into him, dropping all her things.

"Easy there, baby, you okay?" Jack's hands steadied her as she rubbed her head that had collided with his jaw. She fought tears from the pain as she nodded, wishing she had not just done that.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Sorry about that." She stooped to pick up her things and when she rose again, he was still standing there, and the sorrow and sadness on his face was evident.

"Listen Kate, about yesterday-"

"Jack, I'm not ready to talk about that yet." She picked up her things and moved away, kissing the top of Aaron's head, rubbing the bottom of Adam's feet (as Jack had apparently gotten them both up for her, which, though she didn't want to admit it, was very sweet of him) and then made her way up the stairs, Jack on her heels the whole time.

"Well, I am Kate. You didn't even come to bed last night. How mad are you?" He asked the question carefully, seemingly biding his time. Kate dropped her things in the hamper and turned to face him, standing just inside their bedroom door.

"Why didn't you wake me if you wanted me to come to bed?" She spat back, trying to contain her uncertainty and upset feelings.

"I wasn't sure you were ready yet...so I just left you thinking you would come to bed on you own. I was surprised when I rolled over this morning and you weren't there." He reached a hand out, brushing her head where it was red from hitting his jaw.

"I couldn't fall back asleep after I fed Adam so I sat downstairs and watched TV."

"Is that why there is an ice cream dish in the sink?" his eyes twinkled a little at this, giving the hint of a smile, because he knew how she ate ice cream when she couldn't sleep. She looked away, not ready to give in.

"Yes." was her answer. He pulled her in and relunctantly she found her place against his chest, where her head lay comfortably, and breathed in his clean, cologned scent. Her hands rested loosely on his waist, while he held her tightly against him.

"I don't know what to tell you about yesterday that isn't going to make you mad. There are so many things I want to tell you and I just can't say them because I don't want to hurt you." He whispered against her, and she blinked her eyes rapidly, trying to stop tears from forming.

"Are you having an affair with her?" The words were whispers against his dress shirt and she felt like she might be twisting the perverbial knife in his chest but it was the one question she had to ask. Their divorce had been final for years, and they had no ties, what else would she be doing there? His breathing hitched and he pulled back, grabbing her gently by her shoulders.

"Look at me Kate." he requested, his face down to her eye level. When she finally relented, she could see pain in his eyes, and she felt guilty, knowing she had caused it. "The fact that you have to ask that makes me feel terrible, and it hurts quite frankly. But I would _never_ have an affair, Kate. I love you so unbelievably much. That would never happen." He watched relief fall over her face and sometimes forgot that they hadn't been married for years, and that they hadn't had anytime to themselves to really sort out who each other were. And as much as you think you know a person, there are always things you don't learn until a situation presents itself. He couldn't be mad at her for asking that, it was fair, especially considering Sarah's constant showing up in his life. But that still didn't make him happy about it, or okay with it.

"Then what do you not want to tell me because it'll hurt?" Her eyes searched his, his hands still on her arms, and he bit his tongue, wishing he hadn't said those words. He didn't want to tell her about the kiss.

"Kate...it's nothing, really. Forget I said that." He stood up straighter, let go of her, and ran a hand over his cropped hair. She pulled him gently by the arm to face her again.

"Jack, I need to know. Please." She said it with such need, such desire, that he didn't know what else to do. He broke under her gaze.

"Kate, you have to understand, what I'm about to say is going to sting you, and you just need to know how much I love you and how upset I was. You can ask my mother, okay?" He pleaded with her and a cloud crossed her face when he implied his mother knew. She nodded, silent. Jack paced a little around the floor, as Kate stood in her robe, her arms crossed, her wet hair hanging at her shoulders. "Okay, so, a few months back at Thanksgiving, when I got paged, it was to take care of Sarah's husband right? You knew that part, right?" She nodded. "So, I had to take care of him, do surgery, all that stuff. So Sarah would come in to check on him. One of the days she came in, she, pregnant also, told me she and her husband were getting a divorce. And I tried to act kind, though she makes me so angry," he said 'angry' with such vigor it scared Kate a little bit deep inside somewhere, "and she kissed me, Kate. It was quick because I pushed her away." Shock registered on her face and she seemed to still, her breathing stopping for a moment. "It didn't mean anything Kate, at all. But she still..."he paused, gathering himself, seeming to struggle with that he was saying, "she still thinks I would take her back, like I wanted before the island. I don't, I could never..." Kate's eyes dropped and her hand covered her mouth, and he rushed to her, cupping her face with his hands. "Kate, please, you have to understand, I'm telling you this because I'm being honest and because _nothing else has happened _and nothing will. But this is her issue, her desire. That's why she's coming around. But it doesn't matter, okay? Because I love you. That's what matters." He kissed her forhead and pulled her close, and this time she held him tightly. She hadn't said anything yet and he prayed she wouldn't tell him to leave again. He continued to whisper how much he loved her again her hair, so much more angry with Sarah than he had been before.

Kate finally pulled back and searched his face, surprised a little by his glistening eyes. He stared back at her, silent, waiting for her response. After a moment, Kate grabbed him by the front of his shirt and pulled him to her, locking her lips with his in a deep kiss. His surprise turned to lust as he accepted the kiss, his head spinning. It was a passionate kiss, provacative, sending emotions coursing through him that he hadn't felt with her since before the baby. She bit his lip a little, while driving her mouth into his, and he couldn't even process the pain. When she pulled back, her eyes were darker than he'd seen them in a long time, an almost angry dark. "Did it feel like that?" her voice was husky, no trace of a smile on her face, simply lust. He shook his head, silent, somewhat shocked, before Adam let out a cry and Aaron yelled for her. She said no other word, leaving him wanting, heading down the stairs. He stood feeling lost, a somewhat similiar feeling to the way he had felt in the jungle that day, and ran his hands over his face, trying to make his brain work again before he followed her downstairs. _What just happened?_ was his only thought, as he realized she had never said anything about the Sarah thing. Making his way into the bathroom to splash his face, he realized she was not the only one who didn't know the other person as well as they thought.

xxxxx

Kate spent most of the day in an angry daze, devastated by the Sarah situation, but trying to find peace in her love with Jack and their babies. When she had dropped them at his mother's, Margo had seemed to know something was up but Kate had kept quiet, just trying to get through without confessing her family drama to her husband's mother. She had been sitting on the beach for what must have been a few hours, just staring off into the horizon, wondering, thinking, what things might have been like if they'd never left. Would they have Adam and Aaron there? Would they be together? She had so many thoughts rushing through her brain, and she tried to make sense of what had happened so many months ago between Sarah and Jack.

She thought of her marriage to Kevin. They'd never had any closure. She had simply drugged him, told him the truth, and left, never to look back. Her whole life spent on the run. Her heart hurt for what she had done to him. She hadn't ever told Jack, for fear he wouldn't understand. It was like her ultimate secret. She hadn't seen Kevin since she'd left him there, on their floor, in their beautiful little Florida home. She wondered about where he was now, and what would happen if she saw him again.

Shaking her head, she knew the answers. She knew what she had done. There wasn't much she could say to change that.

She wondered if she and Jack would ever be on the same page, with no secrets.

Thinking back to her current situation, she was trying to devise a plan to make Jack realize what he had. She missed being intimate with him, and thought maybe that was what was needed. Maybe they needed to remember the passion from their relationship before baby. She was cleared for it, after all, which, he didn't even know yet. Grinning slightly to herself, she knew what she wanted to do. It was the only way she thought the hole within her might heal.

xxxxx

Jack made some notes on a few charts, still trying to keep his mind on work. The kiss he'd shared with Kate was still on his mind, not to mention their conversation. He had tried calling and texting, but to no surprise, she wasn't answering again. He was getting tired, frankly, of not communicating with her, but when he looked at the situation, he knew who's fault that was. His mother had called, asking if Kate was all right, and he told her the story, and she expressed her annoyance with the fact he had told her the truth, only because she knew this would be the response.

Jack shook his head, dissapaiting his thoughts, trying to focus on work. He jumped though, at the sound of his text beep. Grabbing his cell, he flipped it open. Inside, the text from Kate was crypic and he was unsure exactly what had happened.

_Need you at home, now. _

That was it. She needed him? His brow furrowed and he tried to call her back, getting no answer. Frusterated and worried, he grabbed his keys, shrugged off his lab coat, and grabbed his suit jacket. Exiting his office, he locked the door, and worried that maybe something was wrong with Aaron or Adam. Explaining the situation to his secretary, or at least what he knew, he told her he'd be back and headed to his car.

Pulling in thirty minutes later, he was angry and annoyed with her for not calling him back any of the ten times he had tried on his way there. Exiting the volvo, he used his long strides to get him to the door quickly, unlocking it and entering. The house was silent and that frightened him a little.

"Kate?" He called out to the seemingly empty house. He heard noise from upstairs and took two stairs at a time to get up there. "Kate, are you all right?" he spoke at the top of the stairs, "You could have answered any of my calls, I tried you like ten times, what is going-" he stopped mid sentence at what he saw in their bedroom and his jaw dropped slightly.

xxxxx

*evil laugh* leave a review and tell me what you think is going to happen and you won't be sorry. Trust me. hehehe ;-)


	36. Chapter 36 content warning

**Chapter 36 (or something, I've lost count LOL) **

_I remember when you said life was hard on you,  
And, I remember when I watched you come undone again.  
And I still feel now, all the damage kept inside._

All the walls that you built up,  
And all the bridges you burnt down,  
In the end, it comes down to, I'm the one always around.

Come to me. I'll set you free  
Come to me. Make me believe you'll,  
Come to me, and I will help you crawl,  
Won't let you fall, show you how to breathe.  
So come to me.

_ - 'Come to Me' Megan Mccauley (this chapter was inspired by this song)  
_

The sun shined in through the cracks in the curtains that were blowing in the light breeze from the half open sliding door. The room was a warm contrast of light and dark, mingling with the neutral colors Kate had used to decorate the large bedroom. It was the kind of atmosphere that made one want to stay in bed and lie around lazily on a Sunday morning.

Jack's breath caught in his throat as he surveyed the sight in front of him. Kate lay before him, covered only by one of their light, white cotton sheets. Up on her elbows, peering at him, her chocolate curls splayed behind her on the pillow, cascading down her lean muscled shoulders, her green eyes peircing his hazel ones. The smell of warm vanilla and sugar enticed him, causing his senses to jump into overdrive, wondering what was below that sheet that held that sweet, delicious scent.

"Kate..." his voice was husky with uncertainty and desire, as her lips curled into a small seductive smile.

"What took you soon long?" she taunted, the rhetorical question hanging in the air as he made quick absence of his suit coat, pulling his tie undone as he made his way to the king size bed. He slipped his dress shoes off, and discarded the striped tie beside them on the carpeted floor. Sitting beside her on the bed, he searched her face for certainty and found nothing but a combination between love, lust, and the sweet glow of someone full of want. His questions were ceased as she sat fully, the sheet sliding down to her waist, and her lips finding his.

She relished in the taste of him, and had every intention in making him, all of him, hers. She wanted him to experience her, to remember what is was like to be with _her_, before the baby, before life had gotten dramatic and complicated. She had given him his time to think, but she was now going to remind him of what he wanted, and needed. Her. She knew that was the answer.

Her kiss ravished his lips, sucking any air from his lungs he thought he might possess. It was breathtaking, unlike any kiss from her he had experienced. He felt almost as though it was the first time he had kissed her, like it was all new.

He felt her fingers slide button to button down his white dress shirt, pushing the light cotton material open, and pushing it off his shoulders. She then made work of the white tee shirt underneath, pushing it up, making sure to brush her small fingers along his skin, and he shuddered under her touch. It had been way to long, he knew, as her hands worked the muscles of his chest. Pulling the shirt over his head, he used the pressure of their lips to lie her back, her hair floating around her head like a halo. As he braced himself above her, she undid his belt, and undid the black slacks constricting what she was in so much need for. She pushed them off with her pink-polished toes, and when he finished wriggling out of them, he collapsed upon her, and she wrapped her arms and legs around him, holding on to him for what seemed like dear life.

"I'm sorry, Kate," he mumbled against her swollen lips, "Nothing happened. It's always you. It's always been you," He whispered the sweet nothings, that represented everything, against her ear as she kissed along his strong shoulder.

"I love you." She moved back to his lips, kissing him again, "I need you," she whispered, pushing his boxers down his legs in the same fashion as his pants. His lips moved around her body, small sighs escaping her as she closed her eyes to the sensations. When the kisses ended abruptly and she felt him shift, Kate tentatively opened her eyes. Jack stared intently down at her, as if reading her face, studying it. Her brow furrowed slightly, and she tilted her head. "What?" she whispered, a slight hint of worry in her tone.

"I've missed this." His voice was heavy with emotions, his eyes dark with lust. Her worry faded immediately and she wrapped her legs tighter around him, feeling him against her.

"I've missed you." The desire laced within her words was enough for him, and as they became one it felt like it was the first time, the feeling of butterflies and fireworks exploding over Kate with such force she could feel a familiar sensation growing so quickly she was unable to stop it. She melted in to him, as he heard his name over and over, and as she rode out her own pleasure, he continued, wanting to feel more and more of her, every time they had shared this coming back to him, but never able to compare to the lust, love, infatuation, and want he felt for her at that moment. His lips wrecked havock on her neck as she clawed at him, her panting driving him mad for his own release, and yet he wanted to enjoy it as much as he could, for he had missed this-her-too much, for too long.

She pushed at him, and he rolled them over, and smelled the rush of vanilla scent filling his senses, and felt the tickle of her hair as it fell around him. His large hands grasped her hips, pushing her against him, sending a shock through her system, as the speed of her hips slowed, agonizingly so much so that he didn't know how much longer he could last. She flipped her hair to the side, one arm resting beside his head, the other coming to rest on his chest, her hand sliding across his face as she focused on his handsome face, driving him mad her only goal. This continued as she memorized his face, feeling his hands slide up and down her back, her soft skin like silk under his finger tips. Bringing one hand up, he tangled it in her curls, bringing her face to his, their lips crashing into each other like waves on a beach.

The only thoughts crossing her mind were of him, of how he felt within her, how much she had missed it, and how much she wanted it to last forever. She knew that would happen, to her ecstatic dismay, as she neared her release again, things suddenly growing hazy and hot once more. He could tell from her soft cries she was nearing hers and pushed for his own, willing for collide together one last time. He pushed her hips against his hard one last time, and as she cried his name amidst a moan, he couldn't help himself, releasing within her, gasping for air he couldn't get. Her head fell against his shoulder, her eyes closing in exhaustion and exhilaration. The room was quiet except for their breathing as they layed there, still locked as one, the other waiting for the other to move, neither wanting to. He finally pulled her face to his, and she was blown away by the emotion across his face, and then by the tear that fell against his cheek, from her own eye. Searching her face, worry sliding over his, he caressed her cheeks with his thumb, wiping at one more tear, before a smile slid over her face. "I love you." She murmered before kissing him one last time, a relaxed kiss, full of the sweetness he had missed. She slid off him to his side, her leg resting over his thigh, his arm wrapped around her back, holding her as close to his side as he could get her. She felt more relaxed and at ease than she'd felt in months, and she finally felt that she knew he was hers and she was his and that there hadn't been a change, only worry on her part about something non-existant.

"You're amazing." He kissed her forehead and then rested his cheek against it, taking in the delicious scent of her shampoo. She held onto his torso tightly.

"Please don't leave." She whispred, her voice full of sleep. He smiled sleepily himself, kissing her forehead again.

"I'm not going anywhere. Ever."

xxxxx

**Hehehe more tomorrow with a SUPER encounter I think you all have been dying for...as long as I get some nice reviews...and be nice, that's my first time writing like that. Thanks for reading, hope it was worth the wait (minus the length, I almost didn't have time to write but I managed to bang this out for you I'll update again by tomorrow night!) . :-P**


	37. Chapter 37

Chapter 37

**Thank you for all the lovely reviews! I heart you all! :-D Enjoy this chapter!**

**Also, I made a new Jate video (had some free time) and would love it if any of you wanted to watch it. It's on YouTube. Search either my acct name- CRose307 or the video name 'Good to You-Jack and Kate'. I'm pretty proud of it. Please let me know what you think if you watch it!**

**Also, I combined chap. 17 into one part, and deleted any random author notes and now we are completly on track. Now if I can just edit all my chapters, it'll be perfect. I'm getting there LOL. Hope you all are enjoying this story! Thank you again so much for your reviews! **

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Kate sat straight up with a jolt, her sleepy eyes adjusting to her surroundings. She felt paniced, needing to know what time it was, where she needed to be. She felt like it was passed when she'd told Margo she would get the kids. Turning her head, she glanced down at Jack, who slept peacefully next to her, not having stirred at her sudden movement. She took a moment to gaze over his face, a peaceful, almost smile upon it, and his bare chest. His tattoos stood out against the white sheets, contrasting with their bright colors and unique designs. Reaching next to her to the bed side table, she grabbed her phone, checking the time, telling her it wasn't as late as she thought, and that she'd slept no more than an hour. She thought back before that hour, remembering their love-making, and a smile covered her pretty face. She felt better, her plan had worked. She knew all along he was all hers, she had just needed physical-emotional reassurance. And maybe he had needed some too. He had definitely needed her, Kate smirked. She layed back down beside him, sliding her hand across his chest to trace the tattoos that danced upon the inside of his arm, which was rasied to rest beside his head. His face twitched a little as she ran her fingers along the stars to the flames, and then circled around the waves before making their way back to the first star. She bit her lip to keep from giggling.

She continued to trace them, going in a new direction each time, loving the sense of torture and playfulness she felt as she did it. His face told her of his slight discomfort, not enough to satisfy her mischevious self, and began a light stroke up and down, from the beginning of the tattoo to the end and back.

"Mrs. Shephard, I suggest you stop what you're doing unless you want to lose that hand of your's." She jumped a little at his voice, and could tell by the wrinkle lines next to his closed eyes that he was trying to stay serious. Teasting him was one of her favorite pasttimes, and probably one of his least favorite. She smirked at his remark but continued her assault on his firm inner bicep.

"I'm not playing, there will be serious consequences if you continue." She let a giggle escape at his serious tone, and watched the side of his mouth twinge, as if he were trying not to smile. "This is your last warning..."

She managed one last stroke before the hand closest to her grabbed her wrist, interupting the motion. She shrieked and his eyes popped open, a devious smile threatening his lips, his eyes shining. "What did I say?" He warned, using his strength to flip her onto her back, trapping her small frame between his knees as she screamed with laughter as his fingers attacked her sides.

Kate pushed as hard as she could muster, but to no avail. Her laughter filled the room and he realized how much is was a ray of sunshine in his life. Finally she managed a hand on his hip and pushed with all her might, and as he lost his balance he pulled her with him, and they toppled off the large bed crashing to the ground in a mess of limbs, laughter, and sheets. Kate let out a yelp as he landed on her, and through his laughter, he tried to free himself so he could free her. As he climbed off of her, he grinned at her laughter as she grabbed her elbow.

"Owww." she laughed, a painful laugh, as he sat beside her.

"Are you okay?" He grinned, concerned, as Kate writhed on the floor.

"Why are you so heavy?" She whined, causing him to chuckle.

"Maybe you shouldn't have started antagonizing me," he countered. He reached for her elbow. "Let me see that." She stopped moving and tentatively removed her hand, to discover her palm carried the bright red mark of blood. She winced at the sight.

"Is it bad?" she made a face as he surveyed the damage.

"Looks like you caught it on the frame while falling. It's a good one." Pulling her, they stood up. "That's what you get for waking me." He playful scolded her, pulling her gently to the closet he knew had a first aid kit, as she rolled her eyes at him in annoyance. She surveyed his handsome, fit, naked body.

"Am I going to live, Dr. Shephard?" Kate asked seductively, as he cleaned the area of her elbow now lacking of skin, and her hand. He raised an eyebrow.

"It's touch and go. but with a little physical therapy.." a hand slid down her bare side around her body to her naked backside, pulling her closer, "you should be good as new." The bandaid sealed over her cut, she grinned up at his sexy smile.

"Thank you doctor. When should I start?" She asked with mock innocence, as moved her slightly back toward the mangled bed. He picked her up, as she wrapped her legs around his waist, giggling, as he carried her to the bed.

"As soon as possible." He layed her down on the bed, as she laughed, and began an assault before looking up at her momentarily. "Hey, question. Where are the babies?" He, all of a sudden, wondered. Kate smiled up at him.

"At your mother's."

"Oh, good. We should let her keep them and go to dinner," he spoke the words in between kisses on her neck.

"Jack..." she laughed his name, but didn't protest, enjoying their alone time. "Do you have to go back to work?"

"I'm sure I should but I'm busy right now. They know where I am."

"Looking to recreate earlier?" she whispered into his ear, and he growled lightly against her neck, the vibration tickling her.

"I'm looking to make it even better." Always the fixer, pleaser, and always striving to succeed, that didn't surprise her, though she wasn't sure it was possible. She was, however, willing to let him try.

"Mmm..." she moaned, accepting anything he was offering, "Have at it."

"Oh...I will."

* * *

Margo observed her son and daughter-in-law as they walked through her front door the next morning, and could tell by their relaxed appearances and easy-going demeanors that whatever that had been bothering Kate had subsided. Jack couldn't keep his hands off her, which Margo didn't feel she needed to witness, but was happy for them regardless.

"Good morning, you two. How was your night?" Kate's face flushed as Jack grinned.

"We had a great time at dinner, Mom. Thanks for watching the kids." Margo leaned against the foyer wall as Kate reached for baby Adam out of his carrier, and Aaron jumped up and down at Jack's feet.

"How was Adam?" Kate asked curiously. It had been her first night away from the baby, and Margo had assured her that he'd be fine, but Kate had still worried.

"He was great. Barely fussy and slept like a champ, minus the middle of the night cry for milk."

"That's normal. And great." Kate loved that Margo was so close and could watch the kids for them. Margo loved it, in fact, and had told them she'd keep them the whole day, and the two adults could enjoy a Saturday off together, but they had declined, missing their children. They had come by the night before for a few hours, before going to dinner, had been impressed by Aaron's desperate desire to stay at his grandmother's. The child loved being with Margo, who in turn, wanted him anytime he wanted to come over.

"Reminded me of when you were an infant, Jack. Except you were one fussy baby." Kate and Margo laughed as Jack's face turned a little red.

"Mom, I had no control over that." He laughed lightly, scooping Aaron up and holding him upside down. The child shrieked with pleasure.

"Oh I know. I'm just saying, you were a sensitive child. This baby must get his calmness from Kate." Kate stuck her tongue out playfully at Jack who rolled his eyes back playfully in response. "All right, children. Anyone want coffee?"

"Sure," the two replied in unison, then breaking into a laugh. Margo raised an eyebrow before shrugging and turning.

"To the kitchen we go, then." Margo turned with a smile, heading to her sun-lit kitchen, as Kate followed Aaron into the living room to rock Adam, and Jack followed his mother. She grinned at her son as she poured three cups of coffee. "You two seem happy." she observed. Jack smiled, accepting his cup.

"Yeah. Things are great." He replied, leaning against her counter. He loved the relationship he had with his mother these days, they were much closer that they had been in years, and he figured Kate had a little bit to do with that.

"Good, I'm glad. I don't know what you did, nor do I want to, but she was pretty much in shambles yesterday morning when she dropped the kids off, and though she wouldn't admit a damn thing, I knew something was wrong. I'm glad you fixed whatever you did." Her eyes twinkled with the knowing of a mother as she sipped her coffee. He rubbed the back of his neck.

"She was just a little upset about Sarah," he lowered his voice, cautious to not let Kate hear them talking. He could hear Aaron chattering away in the living room to her though, so he figured that she was occupied for the moment. "Sarah was at the office a few days ago, saying her same old story, and Kate walked in and saw her and her baby, and got upset. I told her about the kiss. She got pretty upset."

"I don't blame her. That Sarah girl, I knew she was trouble. She wasn't right for you."

"I know, Mom. You always made that very clear."

"Well, mothers know these things. Look where you are now." He nodded, agreeingly.

"I know, I know. Anyway, she just needed some time with me, I think. I think we both did."

"Two kids is hard, Jack. Especially when one of them is..." she drifted off, a pained look fleeting across her aged face at the thought of her late husband's daughter. Jack felt a hint of guilt and regret for telling his mother about Claire, and for Claire being where she was, but washed it away with a sip of his coffee, not ready or willing to let his good mood and a great day go to waste.

"I know. It is. But we're up to it. You can still take care of them in July, right?" Jack asked in a hushed tone, watching the door to make sure Kate didn't walk in at that moment. Margo nodded with a grin, any pain on her face having dissapeared.

"Yes, Jack, for the twentieth time. As long as the child is weaned by then, otherwise we're going to have a huge milk shortage." She laughed, implying she would not be supplying any milk to the child other than formula. Jack nodded, laughing.

"I know, I haven't figured out exactly how to get that to happen but I'm working on it. Paul has pretty much got everything figured out to get her a leave from California, for this reason only and for a week only. I'm pretty excited about it, actually." Jack had put his mother's lawyer to work with the State of California, and the judge who had sentenced Kate, to get a her a week of freedom for their honeymoon. Kate knew he was working on it, but she didn't know he had planned the trip already, and he planned to surprise her in the coming weeks, for her birthday.

"Well, I think she's going to be just tickled by your impressive law skills, and the trip itself. Do you think she's ready to fly again, though?"

"She doesn't have a choice," Jack chuckled, "We're going to Fiji and that's the end of it. She can balk all she wants but after what Paul and I went through, she's getting on that plane. Besides, for a week on an island with no babies, sand, surf, and sun, the right way, who says no to that?"

"Someone who did that to survive for over three months. I'm just saying..." her voice drifted off at Jack's warning look.

"I guess I could have taken her to the Holiday Inn in Vegas. That'd be a great honeymoon." He replied sarcastically and Margo rolled her eyes at her dark-haired son.

"That's not what I meant, Jack. I'm sure she'll love it, I was just being concerned for her."

"Being concerned for who?" Kate asked curiously as she entered the kitchen carrying Adam, who was content to wrap his little hand in her hair. Jack and Margo both jumped and Margo scrambled to cover her words.

"Oh, for you sweetie, about how much sleep you're not getting. Jack says you're fine, but I was just worried." Jack sighed a silent sigh of relief and said a silent thank you to his mother as Margo turned to hide her burning cheeks, grabbing Kate's cup of coffee. Kate looked from Margo to Jack and raised an eyebrow but didn't push the issue.

"I actually got a lot of sleep last night, I feel really rested. Thank you though," she replied to Margo shyly, knowing the statement wasn't entirely true, though she definitely felt rested. The amount of sleep they got however could be debated. Jack winked at her as he stole Adam from her arms. She smiled at her husband, who held the tiny baby so delicately, and admired the way he whispered quietly to the child. Jack was a natural, even if he didn't believe her when she said it. Both of their babies adored him, and when he was with them, it was clear how now, after all this time, he was finally comfortable. Maybe it had just taken a baby of his own.

"Mommy!" Came a squeal from the other room. Kate smiled at the yell of her first son.

"I'm being beckoned. I'll be back." She turned and retreated from the kitchen. "Coming, sweet pea!"

Jack and Margo exchanged looks of relief once she was gone. "You need to keep your mouth shut, or she's going to catch that something's up." Margo warned her son, watching him rock his son.

"I know. Its exhausting having to hide things, and I hate lying, but it'll be worth it." He grinned at the vision of her face in his mind, when he told her the plan he had created. They hadn't made love on a beach yet, they'd never gotten the chance, and that was one of the first things on his side of the itinerary. His mother didn't need to know that part.

"She will be." Margo agreed.

"As long she doesn't find out before." Jack grinned secretively as he wandered off to find his wife and eldest son in the living room, a Disney show playing before them.

* * *

*a few days later*

Kate waited for Jack to leave for work, telling him she and the kids would be enjoying a fun day of the park, a walk, and feeding the ducks Aaron loved so much at a pond by their house. Jack had kissed her goodbye, kissing the top of Aaron's head, and the baby's cheek, before heading off to work. They had been wonderful, and normal, since the previous Friday, but she still had one more thing to handle in the way of this Sarah situation. After she showered and bathed the children, she did her hair and makeup, and upon hearing the doorbell, was greeted by Cassidy and Clementine.

"Hey Cassidy!" Kate hugged the other woman tightly, as Clementine joined in. She was a little older than Aaron, a year or so, but had known Kate since she had been back from the Island. They hadn't seen each other since the small appearance Cassidy had made at their wedding, Kate still afraid to introduce her to Jack then, and she had yet to meet either Jack or Adam. Aaron came running, throwing his arms up.

"Auntie Cassidy!" The child threw his arms around Cassidy's leg.

"It's so good to see you, Kate! You look great! Hey Aaron, how are you?" She rubbed the little boy's back as Kate opened the door wider, inviting the two inside.

"Thanks. You do too! How are things?" Kate shut the door behind them as Aaron pulled Clementine into the living room. She felt bad at Jack not knowing they were coming, but she figured, he had to meet them sooner or later, and Kate hadn't been able to get Margo or Veronica to watch the babies. And she couldn't wait a day more to get things over with.

"Great. We had a nice drive here and, Clemetine couldn't stop talking about how excited she was to see Aaron. Where's this baby of yours?" Cassidy followed Kate into the kitchen, to where Adam layed in his bouncy seat.

"This is Adam Samuel." Kate said proudly, picking him up. Cassidy coo'ed over the little baby, who stared intently at her.

"Oh, Kate. He's beautiful. When I got your e-mail about what happened, I was so happy everything turned out good for you two. That could have been a tragic accident." Cassidy reached for the infant, taking him from Kate, who smiled on proudly.

"Yeah, we're both so lucky. If Jack hadn't been there, I don't know what might have happened."

"I can't believe he actually delivered this little guy in the back on an ambulance. What are you married to? Superman?" Cassidy chided, laughing. Kate laughed with her.

"I think sometimes he thinks he is. It was the scariest moment of my life, and I don't think I could have done it without him." She saw emotions cross Cassidy's face, as she knew Sawyer had never met his daughter, and Kate felt for the woman before her. She had dated since Sawyer, but no one serious. Not many men were looking for a woman with such baggage, she would say. Kate would dissagree, and wished her friend the happiness she felt.

"You have a beautiful house." Cassidy switched the subject as Kate poured her a glass of iced tea.

"Thank you. Please make yourself at home. I shouldn't be gone long. There's plenty of bottles in the fridge and there's plenty to feed Aaron and Clem. Help yourself to anything you need or want. Jack shouldn't be home before me, so you won't have to worry about that."

"And if he does come home?" Cassidy questioned, voicing the small fear Kate held in the back of her mind.

"Tell him the truth. What else can we say? He'll be pissed if we lie and he finds out the truth. And trust me, he always does." She laughed ruefully. Not that she was one to lie, but Jack always found out the truth in things.

"Alright, if that's what you say. 'Oh yeah, by the way, I'm Cassidy, Sawyer's ex-lover and this is our lovechild Clemetine. We're babysitting for your wife.' He'll love that, I'm sure." The women laughed and Kate shrugged.

"I'm sure he will but I'm sure we won't have to find out how he feels. As least I hope not." Kate slipped her shoes on, smoothed her shirt, and grabbed her purse. "I won't be long. Call my cell if you need me." She kissed the infant and called to Aaron. "Bye sweet pea, love you! Be good for Cassidy!"

"Okay, mommy!"

"Thanks again, Cass."

"Good luck, honey. I'm sure she's not going to be pleased to see you on her doorstep. Give the witch my best." Cassidy remarked smartly and Kate laughed before proceeding out the door, ignoring the nervous butterflies in her stomach. She reminded her self of her anger as she drove, psyching herself up for the confrontation she knew was overdue.

* * *

Kate parked against the curb in front of the large house that read as Sarah's address. She thought for a moment about what Jack would think about what she was about to do, but decided that it didn't matter, reminding herself of who she had been before Jack, before the crash. She protected the things she loved, that was what had gotten her into trouble in the first place, and Kate was fiercly territorial. She knew she was a good person but she would be manipulative and threatening when she felt threatened, and the woman who lived in that house was definitely a threat, not to her relationship to Jack maybe, but to Kate as a woman. Climbing out of her Tahoe, she made her way to the door and rang the doorbell. After a beat, and large wood door opened, revieling the reason Kate had driven over here. Sarah looked shocked and surprised to see Kate on the other side of her door.

"Hi Kate." Sarah started tentatively. Kate's face hardened and she suddenly felt as if venom slid through her veins.

"Sarah."

"What can I do for you?" The blonde woman asked, visibly uncomfortable.

"I just wanted to make a point to stop by and ask you to leave my husband alone. I've had enough of your visits to him, and I would appreciate it if you'd keep your hands, and lips, off of him. You had him once, Sarah, I know, but he doesn't love you anymore. Did you think he ever could after what you did to him?" Kate paused and watched as Sarah digested her words.

"Kate, I think you're out of line for coming here." Sarah stood defiantly up to the brunette, but Kate wasn't concerned.

"Sarah, you just need to understand exactly where I'm coming from. I know Jack kissed another woman when you two were married. And I know it hurt you, and placed the last nail in the coffin that was you ending your marriage. And I'm not ending my marriage, and neither is Jack. I don't care what I have to do, but you are to stay away from him, do you understand? Woman to woman, you should understand my request."

"Are you threatening me?" Sarah seemed suddenly concerned. Kate chuckled a little.

"No, I'm not. I'm _asking _you," she stressed the word, "to leave me and my family be. You've been interfering long enough. I'm sorry for your second divorce, but I'm thankful for your first. And Jack is as well. He's not interested. And don't think this will be the last time you'll see me if this continues. I will do whatever it takes to protect my family." She stood her ground, and watched as the blonde woman before her suddenly became uneasy. "Thank you for your time. I really, _really_ appreciate it. I hope this is the last time I have to. Do you get what I'm saying?"

"Yes, I do." came the meek answer, Sarah suddenly seeming intimidated by the petite woman in front of her. Kate smiled.

"Great. Thanks again." Kate retreated down the steps, feeling suddenly strong. She felt it had worked. She just hoped it would continue that way. Kate reached for the phone as she put her Tahoe in drive, and called Cassidy.

"Hello?" Cassidy answered.

"Cass, I did it. I told her." Kate smiled to herself, feeling a little shaky.

"Great! I hope she got the message."

"How are the kids?"

"Wonderful. We're playing a game and Adam just went down for his nap. See you soon?"

"Yep. I'm on my way. Thanks again!"

"Anytime. It'd be nice to see you and your kids more than twice a year. And maybe meet this mysterious Superman husband of your's." Kate laughed and nodded.

"It would be nice. Sounds good to me! See you in a bit!" She hung up the phone and felt like she had finally solved the problem that was her husband's ex-wife. If Jack found out what she had done-she wasn't sure what he'd think but she was ready to defend her actions to the end of the earth. Sometimes it just took one woman to another to get the point across. Sighing, she felt relaxed as she eased onto the interstate, heading back across Los Angeles to her home. Now as long as Jack didn't show up at the house in the next 30 minutes, her plan had gone off without a hitch.

**

* * *

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Reviews are love. :-) Let me know what you thought. Thanks for reading! Next update in a few days!


	38. Chapter 38

Chapter 38

Jack locked his office door and walked past his secretary.

"Hey Tara. I'm going home for lunch today. Page me if you need to, okay?" He smiled at the woman.

"Sure thing, Dr. Shephard. Have a good afternoon."

"Thanks, you too."

Jack entered the elevator and thought about texting Kate, telling her he was on his way, but then decided it would be more fun to surprise her.

Settling into the Volvo, he wished he could take the Tahoe back from Kate. He didn't enjoy driving the sedan, and continuously contemplated trading it for another SUV. The only benefit to the car was the good gas mileage it got. He knew Kate was attached to the Tahoe, and would feel bad if he asked her to drive it once and a while, after all he bought it for her. But he needed something bigger, he decided ultimately. He just needed to convince Kate they could afford it.

Pulling onto the interstate to head home, his thoughts turned back to the previous few days. Things had been so normal since their reconciliation on Friday, and he hadn't been able to keep his hands off of her. He actually had a slight hope the kids were down for their naps when he arrived so he could enjoy her once more, as if that morning in the shower hadn't been enough. He had at least six months to make up for.

Grinning, he turned onto their street, and as he neared the driveway, noticed a car he didn't recognised in the spot where his car had been parked that morning. Pulling up, he parked next to it, turned off the engine and made his way to the front door. Walking in, the house was quiet except for the sound of the television coming softly from the living room. Unsure, he walked in that direction, standing between the kitchen and the living room. He saw the top of a head he didn't recognize and cleared his throat, causing the body to jump. When she stood, Jack's face grew confused. The woman's was a mixture of shock and surprise, her eyes wide, but a smile began to grow after a few seconds.

"You must be Jack," Cassidy greeted, moving toward the unsure man before her. When she reached him, she stuck her hand out. "I'm Cassidy."

Jack shook her hand wearily. "I'm sorry, do I..."

"No, we haven't officially met but I've known Kate a few years now." Cassidy was slightly taken by how impressive Jack was in person, and made a mental note to tell Kate that later.

"Oh, well, nice to meet you." Not making the connection, Cassidy slightly chuckled.

"Kate had to run some errands. My daughter and Aaron haven't seen each other in a while, so we thought this was a great opportunity for them to play. Their napping right now, along with Adam."

"How old is your daughter?" Jack took off his suit coat and moved to pour himself a glass of water.

"She'll be five this year. Her name is Clementine." Jack's back had been to Cassidy before she spoke, and as the name left her lips, he turned slowly to face her, finally making the connection.

"You mean...Is she...Sawyer's daughter?" Jack asked slowly, curiously, wearily. Cassidy rolled her eyes and laughed lightly, nodding.

"Yep, she is. She has his eyes, but hopefully that's all." The woman replied ruefully, as Jack leaned against the counter.

"I'm sorry about him.." he began, but Cassidy shook her head, interupting him.

"Don't be. We weren't together. He conned me and then went to prison, and when I told him he had a daughter, he didn't care. At least not until he told Kate about her, I suppose." Cassidy leaned against the breakfast bar. Jack wasn't quite sure what to say.

"Um..I'm sorry. That's terrible." His dislike for Sawyer grew with Cassidy's every word, as if he needed that kind of encouragement after everything that happened on the Island. Cassidy just grinned.

"It's all right. She's a wonderful little girl, and I wouldn't trade the last five years for anything." Jack nodded, understanding. He wasn't really sure what to make of this woman before him, but he was now more angry at Sawyer for leaving this poor woman with a baby, all by herself, and for what he did to her, and Jack now felt a slight protection over her. And if Kate trusted her to watch their babies, well, that was all he needed for reassurance.

"Want something to eat? I was going to have some lunch." Cassidy nodded, smiling.

"Sure."

When Kate pulled onto their street twenty minutes later, her heart started to race when she saw Jack's car parked next to Cassidy's. She swore under her breathe, parked on the street, and darted to the door. She entered to the sound of laughter coming from the kitchen and found Jack and Cassidy sitting at the bar together, each enjoying a sandwich, both smiling. She smiled back cautiously.

"Hey guys," she greeted. "Whatcha doin'?"

"Having some lunch. I came home to surprise you but you weren't here. Want me to make you something?" Jack stood, walking over and placing an affectionate kiss on Kate's forehead before moving to the refridgerator.

"Um, sure. But I can make it." Cassidy winked at Kate and Kate raised an eyebrow in response.

"Okay." Just as Jack was about to continue, a cry was heard from over the baby monitor, as Adam fussed upstairs. "I'll go get him." Jack offered, sliding by Kate with a pat on her backside. When Kate was sure he was out of earshot, she moved quickly to Cassidy.

"When did he get home?" She hissed as Cassidy laughed.

"Probably around a half hour ago. Kate, he is a stud. Oh my goodness!" Kate swatted at Cassidy, causing another laugh.

"What were you two talking about?"

"I don't know, just stuff. Sawyer stories, etcetera." Cassidy took a bite of her sandwich. "I don't think he cares I was here, he made me lunch." Kate laughed at that and rolled her eyes. "Are you gonna tell him where you were?"

"Ehh, maybe. We'll see." Was all she had time to say before Jack rejoined them in the kitchen, carrying a baby Adam in his strong arms. "Hey buddy," she greeted the child who sucked happily on his pacifier.

"What errands did you run?"

"I had to get some blood work done, and then I went by a few stores. I wanted to find something nice to wear Friday night." She referred to their double date with Mark Silverman and his current girlfriend. Jack nodded, smiling, and Kate felt relieved he believed her.

"You'll look great in anything." Jack spoke, kissing the side of her curly, brown head. Cassidy raised her eyebrows, and Kate blushed. He'd been extra affectionate lately since their recent escapades, and she was still getting used to it.

"Well, ladies, I need to get back to work." He handed the baby off to Kate and then kissed her full on the mouth. "It was nice to meet you Cassidy, hope to see you around more often. Kate, babe, I'll be home after my meeting. You two enjoy your afternoon." He winked before grabbing his keys and coat and making his way out the door. As soon as he was gone, Cassidy looked expectantly at Kate.

"You have that man wrapped around you finger. Where can I get one?"

* * *

When Jack arrived home later that night, he found Kate by herself, lying on the couch, the kids in bed, dressed in his flannel, plaid pajama pants and a tank top, her hair piled on her head.

"Hey," she offered, tilting her head up for a kiss. He smiled down at her, kissing her back, before straightening and removing his jacket and tie.

"Hi there. How was your day?" Jack dropped his tie on his jacket on the couch, and sat down beside her, leaning playfully into her.

"Good, yours?" Kate bit her tongue, deciding not tell Jack what she had been up to that day. She figured it was probably for the best. And if he found out, oh well, she thought, because whatever he was doing to keep Sarah away was clearly not working. She was just defending her territory.

"Good. You're little friend, Cassidy, she seemed nice."

"Yeah, she's great. I'm glad you finally got to meet her today."

"Me too. Even though I really wish Sawyer was here so I could give him a good shiner. I can't believe what he did to her, and then not owning up to his responsibilities and taking care of his baby. Really?" Jack asked the rhetorical question incredulously, and Kate shot him a look.

"Technically Jack, he did take care of her. He saved money for her."

"Maybe he should have gotten out of _prison_ and taking care of his family though. Saving money for someone doesn't make you someone's father." Jack said with conviction. Kate was silent at his argument, silently agreeing and knowing he wouldn't be there now if he was back, and he definitely wouldn't have helped Kate take care of Aaron had he been there instead of Jack, she knew.

After a beat, Jack nudged her playfully and gave her puppy dog eyes. "What?"

"My feet hurt." He whined, shifting on the couch to where his socked feet were in her lap. She looked between his face and his feet, an eyebrow raised.

"And what would you like me to do about that?"

"All good wives rub their husband's feet. Are you a good wife, Kate?" Jack teased, a sly grin across his face. She placed a hand on one of the feet and gave a good rub across the bottom, causing a moan from him.

"How's that?"

"Good," he moaned again, as she continued rubbing. After a few moments though, she took her fingertips across the ball of his foot in a tickling manner and his eyes popped open. "Kate.." he warned when she did it again. "Do you remember what happened last time you tickled me? You'll lose that battle, Kate, I promise." He threatened, mostly playfully, though she knew a little bit of his words held truth. When she did it again, he sat, reaching up with his long arm quickly and grasped her wrist lightly. "Stop..." he gave her the warning look and she nodded, dropping her head in defeat.

"Okay, okay. I'll stop." Jack leaned back tentatively, not ready to trust her yet, and for good reason, because she generally didn't give up her fights that easy.

"You better. No more." Jack turned his attention back to the television as she began to rub his feet again. However, after a few moments, she was unable to stop herself, grabbing shamelessly onto his socked foot and shocking him, tickling mercelessly. Jack swore at her, moving to jump up, and attacked her, knowing that even though she was strong for a girl, he was much stronger, and fresh from the gym. She squealed with delight and horror, fighting off his advances, before he trapped her against the couch, her legs between his, his hands holding her wrists. She was breathing heavily from not having been able to during the tickling fight and when he let her sit there, she tried to catch her breath. "You're always in over your head honey. You're never going to win." Her eyes danced with pure laughter and he loved that look, and loved that he could cause it. "You know how much I hate that."

"I know," she breathed, "but that's what makes it so much fun to do!" And with that, he picked her up, tossing her over his shoulder.

"That's enough out of you. I think you're in trouble. You need to be punished." As as she laughed and playfully struggled, he shut off the television and lights, and carried her up the stairs, as she giggled over his shoulder. Walking into their room, he shut the door and then lightly threw her on the bed, causing a surprised cry from her. She didn't protest, only laughed, as he shed his button down shirt and climbed above her, intent on showing her the most loving way she could be punished.

* * *

I know I know, it's short. But I hope its good. I'm aiming for another update tomorrow, but I've been SUPER busy lately. We've got good stuff coming up though, like Kate's birthday, the honeymoon, etc. You all have been A-M-A-Z-I-N-G with the reviews lately, I am absolutely speechless. And it makes me feel even worse about the shortness of this chapter but at least it's an update, right? I hope to get one more up before I got out of town next Monday (I know, AGAIN) but then I'm back for GOOD for the holidays and I'll have PLENTY of time to write because I won't be working as much (which I am super excited about, now that I have some awesome stuff up my sleeve for this story, and more awesome pieces to write for 'Missing Pieces, which will be update tomorrow) so bare with me the next few weeks and you will be rewarded with some awesomeness. :-D At least I hope it's awesome. :-) You all are so wonderful, and I feel so blessed you read my story. Thank you thank you thank you!

Also, if anyone has anything they want to read in my Missing Pieces story, please leave me a PM or a review and let me know what you want to see. LostinDallas has already given me some awesome ideas, but please keep them coming! Thanks again y'all!


	39. AN

DONT REVIEW THIS!

Or you won't be able to review the next chapter :-X

I am alive and I apologize that I am too busy right now to post a new chapter. I'm working everyday twice a day it seems, training for a half marathon, and I'm having trouble finding the time and energy to sit down and write, plus my home computer is constantly occupied. Sooooo that all being said, I am going to write this weekend and post a chapter for each story by next Thursday, 11/25. I'm sorry for this delay, as I would LOVE to write, I miss my stories very much, I just can't get to it right now. So bear with me, and I apologize for this inconvience to you. Just know I have great things coming and I WILL have two chapters up a week from now. Thank you so much for your kind reviews and patience, always. :-)


	40. Chapter 39

Chapter 39

**Helllloooo all! I feel like we have not spoken in a LONG time! I have missed you all and writing and am glad to be back in the saddle! **

**This chapter is a bridge chapter, and will be the end of what I have decided to call PART ONE of 'To Keep You'. PART TWO will begin at Chapter 40 and will continue from there. In the coming chapters, some exciting things are going to happen (at least I am excited about them lol) and you will finally learn the reason I chose the title 'To Keep You'. I am very excited for the upcoming events, and I am hoping you all will be too. Please bare with me if you have your reservations, this fic is original and I am going places no other fic (at least none that I have seen or read) has gone, and I think you all will be happy with the way things evolve. Please fell free to voice your reservations if you would like to, and without giving away all my secrets, I will try to put them to rest. I think this is going to be a great. Thank you to Jimelda for always being there to bounce ideas off of and for her wonderfully honest responses. **

**As far as Missing Pieces/Scenes (I don't know what it's called anymore LOL), I will continue with these with a Christmas one coming next, as requested by Jimelda, and then onto a prompt or two from LostinDallas. Please keep the prompts coming, I am excited about them and plan to continue this series as well. **

**Again, I thank you all for your patience at me getting these chapters out, Christmas is kicking my butt right now (I have not done ONE OUNCE of shopping because I work ALL the time) but I have not forgotten about my story or you guys :-) I was actually thinking about creating a Facebook page for my story where you all can know what's going on in my world, when things will be updated, extra tidbits, videos, pictures, etc. I've seen other authors do it, and I think it'll be fun and a great way for you all to stay up to date on what's going on in the world of my Jate fics, and then there will be less mystery about updates and such. Please let me know what you think of this idea, but I think it would be a good thing. **

**All right, enough jibber jabber today. On to the end of PART ONE. *chills* Things are about to get good in a WHOLE new way! *claps***

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* * *

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Jack opened the front door to a sound he rarely heard this time of night. Adam's cry rang through the house, worrying Jack instantly. It was late, close to 2am and Jack immediately felt bad he had been called back to work for a trauma emergency. It wasn't like Adam to be up this late, let alone crying. Making his way into the house, he found Kate standing in the living room in her green flannel plaid pajamas, rocking the crying infant back and forth, and humming to him softly. She turned when she heard his soft hello and he could tell from the messy bun on top of her head all the way down the slippers on her feet she was tired, maybe as tired as he was after 5 hours of surgery. Her face was drawn and he suspected she had not gotten any sleep. When he reached her, he graced her forehead with an affectionate kiss, and his eyes met her pleading ones.

"Hey, what's the matter?" Jack asked sympathetically, extracting the baby from her small arms and pulling him into his strong chest. He immediately began to rock back and forth on his heels, trying to soothe the red-faced infant.

"I don't know," Kate replied in a concerned, yet exasperated voice. "He's been crying for hours. Just when I think he can't cry anymore, he lets out more tears. I don't know what else to do, I've tried everything." Kate recounted the warm bathe she tried, feeding him, burping him, and even trying to let him cry himself to sleep. Nothing had worked for her, and she was at her breaking point, as he could see tears of exhaustion and helplessness brimming her green eyes. "Aaron's been up three times now."

Jack assessed Kate's story. He laid Adam down on the couch on his back and searched the baby for signs of infection, fever, or rashes. Other than his blatant cry, the only thing Jack could think the baby had was colic. And he knew whose fault that was.

"Baby, I think he's just really colicky." He replied gently, knowing that didn't ease her worries or helplessness any.

"Ugh!" came the angry sigh from his tired wife. She rubbed her eyes in defeat. "It's this formula. It's killing him." Her voice was sad and Jack felt bad that he had tried to convince her to change the baby over to formula. It was the only way he could take her away on their honeymoon though. He did let out a small laugh at her dramatics, though, to which he received a glare.

"Kate, nothing is killing him. He'll be fine. His stomach is just upset. Let me take care of him, okay? You go on up to bed. I'll stay up with him until he goes to sleep." Since tomorrow was Saturday, and coincidently Kate's thirty-first birthday, Jack didn't have to work and wanted Kate well rested for what he had planned. And he wanted to feel guilty alone, knowing he was the one who had encouraged this discomfort in their child, not on purpose of course.

"Are you sure? I don't mind staying up with you. I feel bad for him, he can't help it." Kate rubbed his little cheek with her finger and Adam paid her little mind.

"Yeah, I'm sure. Go on. I'll be up soon." Kate ran her hand through her husband's still damp hair, it having grown out a little since Adam was born, and gave him a small, sweet kiss. He smiled in return. "He'll be fine, don't worry," he reassured her. She nodded reluctantly, and stood, making her way upstairs in defeat.

Jack settled into his armchair with the baby snuggled against his clean, blue scrubs and tried to encourage Adam to quit crying by lying him against his heart. Jack knew that sound made babies comfortable because they spent nine months in the wombs of their mothers, so close to the heart, and that it could sometimes help soothe a crying baby.

As he watched the sports highlights from the night before, he sat in the dim light of the television with his son, hoping to soothe him to sleep. He sang softly to him, still always surprised by the small miracle of which having an infant was and how much his life had changed. As exhausting as it was sometimes, though Adam was relatively calm for a newborn, it was also rewarding, to watch his wife playing with a child he helped create.

Eventually, as if his prayers were being answered, the baby settled into a whimper, and then quieted, his eyes drifting closed. Jack knew he was probably exhausted from crying, and though the problem may not have been fixed, it was subdued for now by the child's tiredness. Cradling him in his arms, he didn't dare move, worrying he'd disrupt the finally asleep baby. He wondered back to when Aaron and Kate were alone, and how Kate had done this by herself. If seeing her when he'd gotten home was just a one-time thing, he didn't know how she would do by herself. She must have cried with Aaron, he thought sadly. He would never want to cause that kind of sadness and helplessness, but he had inadvertently. He wondered if she had ever wanted to call him. Those times were so long ago, but every once in a while the thoughts would come back and haunt him, making him feel guilty for the time he had missed.

Before long Jack felt himself starting to drift to sleep and wondered whether he should risk carrying the child up the stairs or if he should stay where he was, the sleeping child in his arms. Against his unsureness, he stood slowly, turning the television off and walking as soft and slow as he could as to not disturb the cranky baby. Adam lay quietly, his eyes closed in slumber and Jack breathed a sigh of relief when he lay the baby down and he stayed asleep. Closing the door softly, he made his way to the master bedroom, looking forward to bed, as it was now almost three thirty, and he had many things planned for his wife that next day for her birthday. Her thirtieth birthday had been spent alone, and he felt sorry for that, knowing it had been a rough time for her. Also, knowing he had known her since she was 27 (when they crashed on the island), and never having given her a proper birthday, he was excited for all the things he had planned. Especially their dinner at a very nice restaurant downtown, where he planned to present her with a beautiful present and the conclusion to the plane tickets she had found months earlier before their wedding.

Undressing from his scrubs, he climbed in beside her and moved close, draping an arm around her petite waist. She melted in to him, as she always did when he came to bed, and he sighed a content sigh.

"Adam is asleep?" came her own sleepy voice, curious of her son's condition. He grinned.

"Yep. Hopefully he'll sleep the rest of the night."

"Mmm. Thank you." It was a conversation he wasn't sure she'd remember having in the morning, her voice was so quiet and full of sleep.

"You're welcome, baby." He kissed the side of her now loose chocolate waves and took in the smell of her shampoo.

"You're a natural," came out almost inaudible but he heard it, and could remember the first time he had heard it, what seemed like decades ago, in the hallway by Aaron's room. He hadn't believed her then, but he was starting to believe her now.

* * *

"Mommy," came a whisper. Kate stirred but didn't open her eyes. "Mommy." It came again, this time more urgent, but she still couldn't bring her eyes to open. "Mommy!" It was harsh this time, followed by a shove, or what would feel like a shove to a three year old, and one eye opened reluctantly.

"Aaron, honey, what's the matter?" Her question was followed by a yawn and a stretch as the blonde-haired child climbed onto her side of the bed.

"It's your birthday!" With a leap and the exclamation, Kate would have fallen off the bed if she'd been close to the edge. The child's exuberance caught her off guard, but a smile spread across her face at his excitement.

"Is it now?" She teased, growing more awake. She grabbed the child and began tickling him mercilessly in the sun-shining light coming through the silk curtains hanging over the sliding doors in their room. His laughter brought Jack from where he'd been dressing a happy, freshly-bathed, already fed Adam, who looked as bright-eyed and bushy-tailed as his older brother. Kate's face lit up as her husband and infant entered the room, and as happened many mornings, she was taken aback by the handsome man who stood before her, also freshly showered, his longer hair still damp and brushed to the side, his grey polo and jeans fitting him as if tailored to his tall frame. She could smell his aftershave and cologne as he got closer, and for a fleeting moment, wished the kids were still asleep. He greeted her with a warm, loving smile, and sat next to her on the bed, as Aaron climbed into her lap, their tickling fight having ceased the moment her attractive husband had distracted her. He leaned in, kissing her cheek.

"Happy Birthday, Kate," he told her, grinning. She blushed under his gaze, still surprised that happened sometimes, and she smiled back, squeezing her son.

"Thank you," and then kissing Aaron's cheek noisily, added, "and thank you!" Aaron giggled, squirming, and the adults laughed. Kate reached for Adam after Aaron exited her lap, having had enough of her kissing, throwing himself on the plush bed. Jack offered up the baby to his wife, who took in the scent of the happy baby. "Adam! You smell so delicious I could just eat you!" She smiled at the baby, who gave her a big smile back, as he was now learning to be a fully expressive baby at almost four months.

"Eww! I don't think he'd taste very good," was Aaron's response, causing another laugh from his parents.

"Be careful, or I'll eat you too!" Kate teased, tickling the child's stomach before he jumped from the bed, running from the room playfully. Jack chased after him spontaneously and Kate relished in the sound of happiness and laughter as it echoed through their house. On such a day, she couldn't have imagined it beginning any other way. She coo'ed to the infant in her arms, whose expressions were beginning to look more and more like Jack's, she decided with adoration. She always knew he would look more like Jack, if not sooner rather than later. He did carry a few of her traits, but he would be a chip off the old block, she knew.

Jack sauntered back into the room several minutes later, seemingly satisfied from his chase, and Kate grinned lazily from her lying position, the small baby lying on her chest, playing with a few strands of her hair. He sat next to them, a hand caressing her warm cheek. She moved into his touched, closing her eyes for a moment, enjoying the feel. When she opened her eyes, he was grinning down at her playfully.

"What do you think, you get to just lie around all day with baby?" He asked, teasing her, and she nodded playfully back, looking very settled and warm in her snuggly spot in their bed amongst their white sheets and down comforter.

"It's my birthday, isn't it?" He raised an eyebrow at her defiance and shrugged.

"I suppose. I did make a few appointments for you though, that you may want to consider attending." He informed her casually. Kate eyed him suspiciously.

"Hmm? Like what?"

"Oh, I don't know. There's a massage somewhere in the mix. And a pedicure for those toes you keep complaining you don't have time to do. And I think there's a facial in there somewhere too." Kate wasn't much of a 'girlie' girl, she'd never really had the income or time not being on the run to enjoy those luxuries, but now, with a doctor as her husband, she had learned to indulge in a manicure or pedicure here and there. She had not, however, enjoyed a real massage or facial before. Those were both foreign and exciting to her.

"A massage? And a facial? _And_ a pedicure?" she asked incredulously, her eyes wide with surprise. He chuckled at her innocence, rubbing Adam's back as the baby grabbed at Kate's eyelashes and nose.

"Yep. And when you get back, there will be plenty more surprises where those came from." Kate's expression moved from surprise to reprimand, not expecting such extravagance.

"Jack, it's just my birthday. Please don't tell me you went overboard." She warned, knowing that the Jack Shephard she knew didn't exactly do anything less than 110 percent. He just grinned back at her. She warned him again, knowing it wouldn't make a difference but doing it anyway. "Jack..."

"Kate, you're my wife and that means I'm _allowed_ to spoil you. Now, if you're asking me if I'm baking a cake for you for your birthday, the answer is no. I figured after the last time someone tried to make a cake in this house, we didn't need to repeat that." He winked at her teasingly but she swatted him in the arm nonetheless, knowing he was referring to his birthday that previous December when she had forgotten all about the cake she had been baking for him and burned it to something completely inedible. She'd also manage to set off every fire alarm in the house and scare the daylights out of Aaron. And then while she had cried into his chest about the debacle, he could only grin at her adorable ways. That didn't mean he couldn't tease her about it though. "Ow! Anyway, you're massage is first, at 11. So you might want to think about getting up soon, since it's already 8:30." He squeezed the end of the adorable nose he loved so much and she shifted, lifting Adam off her chest.

"Wait, what are you going to do with the babies?"

"I have some errands I need to run and then we'll meet you back here later this afternoon. I'm sure there will be ice cream involved as a reward for Aaron." He turned his attention to Adam, who was fascinated by Jack's watch at that moment. "We are never introducing this one to ice cream, understood?" Kate giggled at him as he took the infant from her arms and lifted him over his head, Adam laughing with every swing of Jack's arms. Kate watched his strong arms lift the little baby up over his head and she took note of the mysterious tattoos that drifted under the sleeve of his shirt and the muscles that flexed. He had been working out every night after his AA meetings, and she definitely took note of how his body was changing. He had grown leaner, always a runner, but his arms, chest, and back were more muscled than she had ever seen them. He always complained he was ten pounds heavier than he wanted to be but she wasn't always sure where he was hiding that ten pounds, because as far as she could tell, he was very fit and didn't need to lose anything. She, on the other hand, knew she needed to get back to the morning runs she used to enjoy before Adam had come along. And maybe a little weight lifting; she missed being in the shape she was in before they had landed on the island, with her strong arms and fit body. She would take whatever she could make time for, however, because being with her family was her priority. Not that it wasn't Jack's, she knew he needed the meetings and the gym to battle the demons that sometimes awoke in his head.

And now that he was healthier than ever, that was one more reason he didn't want to introduce their youngest to ice cream. Kate laughed again.

"Where's Aaron?" She inquired as she rose from the bed, moving away from him in her boy shorts and one of his ratty old tee shirts she had stolen at some point from his side of the closet. The neck was ripped and it lay off one of her shoulders, and as she made her way to their master bathroom, her bare thighs, and bare shoulder teased him mercilessly.

"Downstairs watching cartoons..." his voice drifted off as he placed the baby in the playpen in their room, and followed her to the bathroom. He grabbed her waist and devoured the naked shoulder.

"Jack!" she squealed, giggling. Her eyes however closed at the contact of his warm lips on her bare skin, and the feel of the strong arms she had just been checking out wrapped around her waist, pulling her closer to him.

"What?" he practically growled against her neck, causing shivers to run down her spine.

"The kids are awake!" Jack turned Kate around and lifted her up onto the bathroom counter. She squealed again, trying to fend off his advances. "Aaron's going to walk in here any minute!" She whispered fiercely, though the thumbs squeezing into her upper thighs were driving her mad as his mouth, yet again, found the bare shoulder. Jack just laughed, a deep, husky laugh, and that was the last of the restraint she had, melting into his kisses. His mouth met hers and she pulled him closer, wrapping her legs around his thighs. He moaned against her lips as his hands moved up the front of her shirt, running softly over the skin underneath the ragged material. She pulled him closer, nibbling on his ear before she pulled back again, only to be met with dark, lust-filled eyes.

"Jack, Aaron's going to walk in here any second, for real. We have to stop! Plus, you're already clean and showered." She didn't want to stop, that was evident from her eyes to her legs wrapped around his waist, but she was trying to be responsible. Sometimes, she was the only one. This was one of those times. His eyes stayed dark for another moment, searching hers, before he sighed heavily, stepping back. His arousal was evident, and Kate covered her lips with her hand, giggling softly from her place on the counter, before he shot her a warning look.

"This is your fault, don't laugh." He began out of the bathroom, clearly annoyed.

"Love you!" she called after him, her voice full of laughter.

"Yeah, yeah," was his reply from somewhere down the hall.

* * *

Kate's massage was amazing. Her body felt like it hadn't felt in years. As she walked out of the massage room at the spa where Jack had made all her appointments, she assessed how her body felt, moving her neck around, and stretching her back. So many muscles suddenly felt awake and alive, as if she hadn't felt them in years. The entire time she laid on the bed, every kink she had being worked out, sometimes painfully, all she could think about was how she was going to thank Jack for this wonderful day of pampering. Her facial was next, and then her pedicure and then she could hardly wait to get home to her husband and babies. It wasn't normal for her to be away from them, they went most everywhere with her, but she tried to enjoy her time by herself, sipping her cappuccino, reading gossip magazines while she was doted upon. Jack would definitely need a really good thank you for this because it was unlike anything she had ever experienced before and she knew she could definitely get used to this kind of attention.

Kate also took this time to think about her future. She was married now, which was wonderful, and a stay-at-home mother, which was also wonderful and very rewarding, but she wanted something more. As much as she enjoyed her role as wife and mother, she wished for a little personal fulfillment. She had worked odd jobs her whole life, but hadn't worked since they had gotten off the Island. She wanted a job. Mostly, she wanted to contribute to their income, though she knew it wasn't necessary. She wanted to help Jack support them. And she wanted a little something of her own.

She had been thinking a lot about it, and she wanted to go back to school. She had graduated from high school, having done all right, but had never even gotten the chance to think about college, she'd been on the run since she was old enough to attend college. And thirty-one didn't feel that old. Now that she had gotten off on probation, it would probably even be looked highly upon that she wanted to get more education. She had been thinking a lot about what she would go back for, and recently loving her role as mother, she was tentatively looking at teaching. Probably young children, elementary school. However, she was considered a felon and it had be indicated when she applied for jobs, and that was not something that was looked highly upon in the education field.

She also had yet to tell Jack. Not for any other reason than she was nervous to tell him her desires and she hadn't, until very recently, decided what career she was interested in. She'd had dreams as a child, as any child does, but now, as an adult, and having lost so much time, she didn't have the luxury of thinking about it for too long, if she ever indeed wanted to go back. She also knew, however, that she never had to work because she was married to one of the most talented, sought-after neurosurgeons in the United States, and his salary was enough to keep them happy and well taken care of even after their babies went to college. She figured maybe later that day she would tell him her ideas. Nothing was set in stone yet, but she needed to talk it out, see what he had to say.

The facial was amazing. The woman continued complimenting her skin, and told her she recognized her as one of the Oceanic Six, 'from that terrible plane disaster', the woman had said. Kate remained quiet, thanking the woman for her compliments, but didn't want to talk about her trial or Jack or Aaron. She still wondered if anyone else, besides Margo, would ever catch on that Aaron wasn't her biological son. Or Jack's for that matter. He looked nothing like either of them. It worried her constantly, but she also knew Jack would never just let someone take Aaron away. And while they remained a safe, stable place for Aaron to be, she knew it wouldn't change.

Pedicures were one of Kate's favorite things, especially since the Island. Being clean became a luxury after being stuck without a shower for so many months, and she now enjoyed keeping her nails, toes, hair and body as clean as humanly possible. Settling into the chair, the woman worked her feet, and Kate sighed blissfully. There wasn't much more that made Kate as relaxed as she felt right that moment. The looked at herself in the mirror across the way from where she was seated, and felt beautiful. Her hair was freshly blow-dried and styled after the facial, the woman had applied simple makeup to Kate's face, highlighting her eyes with light mascara and eyeliner, and a hint of blush. Her body felt relaxed from the massage and now her feet felt fresh, and as she watched the woman paint her toes a deep red, she felt accomplished, and deeply in love with the man she sometimes still couldn't believe she called he husband.

Once her toes were dry, she proceeded out to her Volvo—Jack had taken the Tahoe since he had the kids—and upon sliding into the driver's seat, was surprised by a note lying on the steering wheel.

_Go buy yourself a comfortable, sexy pair of shoes. I trust you know what I mean. Make sure they're black. _

_Love you_

_Jack_

_PS- I don't care what they cost, buy whatever you want!_

She raised an eyebrow at the note, surprised he hadn't told her that before she had left that morning. Shrugging, she put the car in drive and began toward a shoe store she had been eyeing a pair of pumps at. As she parked, she grew slightly excited, hoping they fit.

"_He's so sweet,"_ she thought to herself with a smile as she slid the solid black BCBG pumps over her feet. They fit like a glove, and Kate admittedly felt really excited about the shoes, and why he may have possibly wanted her to buy them.

Arriving home, she saw Margo's car in the driveway beside Jack's. Kate carried her bag to the door, and upon entering, she noticed how clean the house was. Margo was the first person she saw.

"Hey Margo," Kate greeted with a grin. Margo jumped a little, as if not expecting Kate and quickly embraced her, a little too quickly Kate felt.

"Oh Kate! Happy birthday sweetheart! How was your day?" Margo released her and surveyed her daughter-in-law, all the while looking a little nervous. Kate couldn't quite place Margo's expression, choosing to ignore it for a moment.

"It was amazing. Jack was so sweet to pamper me like that. It definitely felt strange to be without the children for so long." She laughed a little, moving away gently from Margo and moving to place her bags on the counter.

"Jack is a sweetie." Margo sipped her tea, watching Kate intently. Kate looked around a little before looking back at Margo, resting one had on her hip and the other on the counter. She gave Margo a questioning look.

"What?"

"What? Oh nothing! Everything's great!" There was a ruckus from the garage and Kate moved for the door but Margo stopped her by stepping in her path.

"Where is everyone? What was that?" Kate tried to move around Margo but she stood fast, not letting Kate pass.

"Kate, please, don't go out there. Adam's napping upstairs and Jack and Aaron are just working on a project. Trust me, you don't want to go in there." The woman's eyes were pleading but Kate was not convinced she didn't need to see what they were doing to her garage. Another ruckus sounded, as if buckets were falling, and Jack yelped, and Aaron screamed. Kate moved past Margo quickly and went quickly to the garage, swinging the door open. On her garage floor was Jack, on his butt with Aaron in the corner of the garage by the door. In the middle of the garage was what Kate figured was making the two oldest men in her life appear as babies, and what must have been causing all the noise. Sitting, staring at her, tongue out, was a small German shepherd puppy, maybe only 8 weeks old. Kate looked between Jack and Margo, all of whom had inconspicuous looks on their faces. Aaron, on the other hand, had the look that told her it was Christmas in May.

"Mommy! Daddy said we could keep him!" As Aaron stepped forward to make his declaration, the puppy made a beeline for him, tail wagging, and tongue hanging, and Aaron screamed again, running back into the corner. Kate stepped into the garage and pulled her husband to a standing position. His face held the 'deer in the headlights' look.

"Hey," he greeted her nervously. Kate placed her hands on her hips and looked between Jack and the puppy, who had Aaron cornered.

"Daddy said we could keep him?" she quoted, laughter playing in her eyes.

"He did!" Aaron defended, pushing the small animal away from him. "Daddy he smells still!"

"He smells?" Kate repeated, still looking pointedly at Jack. She also surveyed the large pool of water on the garage floor and the half full storage bin of water they had apparently been using as a tub for the small creature.

"Well, we're working on that." Jack replied, taking a step toward the animal, who came bounding to Jack, landing with front feet on Jack's shins. He hand the cutest face Kate has ever seen, she admitted only to herself as she watched Jack pick up the small creature, and attempt to put him back in the bin of water. The puppy cried out, and tried to squirm away from Jack. Jack wrestled gently with the furry puppy before Kate took a step to him and took the dog from him, pulling the puppy to her chest.

"Can I ask where he came from?" Kate eyed Jack as she kneeled, placing the puppy back on the ground, which proceeded to then lick every inch of the exposed skin on Kate's hand and arm.

"We found him!" Aaron exclaimed, coming up behind Kate, and peering over her shoulder. "He was all alone on the road." Kate listened to Aaron and looked up at Jack for corroboration and the explanation she was still waiting on. He laughed a little.

"We found him on the side of 61," he started, referencing a road they traveled a lot. "He was all alone, and I was afraid he was going to get hit by a car. So I pulled over, put him in the truck and took him to the nearest vet. They called the shelter and no one seems to know who he might belong. He doesn't have a microchip because he's still too young, and the vet said he's healthy, no fleas or ticks, though he is under weight and looks, and smells, like he hasn't been cared for in a while. She said we could take him home, and if anyone comes looking for him, they'll call us." Jack searched Kate's face for a sign of her thoughts but he couldn't read what she was thinking. Instead, she picked up the critter, and began toward the house. Aaron ran after her, followed by Jack and then Margo. "Kate, where are you going? Kate?"

"Jack, have you ever owned a dog?" Kate asked as she entered the bathroom. "Aaron, take Grandma outside and play, let Dad and I talk for a minute, okay? Love you." She kissed the blonde boy's head before Margo closed the bathroom door, leaving the two adults inside. Jack raised his eyebrows at Kate as she took her shirt off.

"I have not ever owned a dog. Kate, what are you doing?" She stepped out of her flats and slid her jeans off, and he surveyed her before him in only her panties and bra. "I don't really think this is the right time…." He began, watching the small dog bound around the clean bathroom with his oversized paws and floppy ears. Kate switched on the shower and then reached under the sink, pulling out baby shampoo.

"Then you don't know how much puppies don't love water. Well some do, I suppose, but this one clearly doesn't, so this is the easiest way. Staying in her bra and panties, she picked up the pup and stepped into the warm shower, shutting the door. "Now, he's trapped and has no choice but to accept me, the water, and getting clean." She kneeled down, and Jack peaked through the door, watching her hold the small animal with one arm and her knees, and begin lathering him up with the other hand. The puppy was clearly not happy with this new arrangement but he behaved and stood for her, only whimpering a couple of times. Just as she talked to the children, Jack watched her as she soothed the baby dog, carefully washing his whole tiny body. His big ears were drooped from water and shame at having lost the battle against the water. When Kate was satisfied he was clean, she handed him to Jack, who was waiting with a towel, and then stepped out, stripping of her wet clothes, drying herself off and wrapping a robe around her body, while Jack toweled off the small, squirmy puppy. When Jack was sure he was mostly dry, he dropped the pup to the ground gently, and then looked at Kate, who was leaning against the wall assessing the animal before her.

"So? What do you think?" Jack pressed gently. Kate seemed to contemplate for a moment, before speaking,

"You do remember we have a 3 month old right? And a three year old? And that I'm alone all day?" She questioned, arms crossed, her eyes dancing. Jack put his hands in the front pockets of his jeans.

"I think it'll break Aaron's heart if we can't keep him," she noticed his eyes held the same hope the small boy's had held. "I would never suggest we go out and get one but we found him, and," Jack chuckled as the puppy shook for the 5th time, his body sliding on the linoleum floor," he's really cute, Kate. I'll train him and he'll be a really good guard dog for you and the kids when I'm at work late." His eyes pleaded with her.

"He's going to get really big," she warned slowly, "like probably near one hundred pounds."

"I think the bigger the better."

"And he's going to eat a lot. And we don't even know if he's good with the kids, yet. Aaron screamed the three times I watched the dog try to get close to him."

"That's just cause he smelled awful. And he's three, of course he's afraid of him. But he's just a little fur ball, can't you see?" Jack picked him up for emphasis and carried him close to Kate. She rolled her eyes with a grin.

"For now. Wait and see what he looks like in 6 months." The puppy licked Jack's face mercilessly and when Jack laughed, she could see a little boy in there somewhere who had always wanted a dog and had never been able to have one. And then she relented. "All right, all right. We can keep him. But he better not end up all my responsibility, you hear me Shephard? "

"I understand. He won't. We're a team, we'll do it together." She could tell she had just given Jack and Aaron a new toy, by the way Jack was grinning.

"Okay then. Congratulations, Jack Shephard, you now have three children."

* * *

Kate watched as the puppy chewed on a rawhide bone Jack had bought him to play with, and contemplated a name. No one had been able to come anything in the last two hours that they could all agree on, but they continued trying. And Kate felt as though she were trying to name Adam all over again.

"What about Axel?" Margo tried. Kate tipped her head to the side, thinking how the name would sound when she would be yelling at him for eating her shoes and shook her head.

"What about Steel?" Jack suggested. He was met with more shakes of their heads.

"Abu!" Aaron exclaimed from his place on the floor by the puppy. The adults laughed but it didn't click. Margo checked her watch and eyed Jack.

"Don't you two have somewhere to be heading to?" She implied, raising her eyebrows at her son. He looked between Kate and his mother.

"You don't mind staying here with the three of them?"

"What? You mean watch the dog? Overnight? Jack, I don't' think—"

"Overnight?" Kate repeated, feeling surprise for the third time that day. Jack glared at his mother who glared back and then looked back at Kate.

"We had dinner reservations and a hotel room over night and Mom was going to watch the kids. It seems now that we have three, though, she's not interested." He leaned back in his chair with a laugh. Margo gave Jack a dubious look.

"There's a reason we never owned a dog Jack. What do you think that was?"

"Dad would never have been able to control it like he could control me?"

"No, Jack, he was never home, and the last thing I wanted was to take care of your and a dog together. Two babies and a dog? I'm not so sure."

Jack looked back at Kate who was still chewing on her lip, staring at the dog. She was still trying to wrap her head around the fact they had just added to their brood in one day. But Aaron was all over the small critter, now that he was clean, and seemingly calm, and that was all the convincing Kate needed. Oh, and Jack's begging hadn't exactly not tugged at her heartstrings.

"Kate? What do you want to do?"

"What do you mean, like if your mom doesn't want to watch the nameless dog? We can stay here, I'm okay with that. I don't exactly think we should just crate him and leave anyway, I'd feel bad the whole time we were gone. And besides, he has to pee like every 3 hours so he can't be alone very long anyway." She reached across the table and grasped Jack's hand. "Let's stay here. Margo, do you mind taking the kids for the night still? And we'll keep the dog?"

"I would love to take your babies. I'm just not ready for that one yet." Grinning, she gestured at the puppy that was nudging around Jack's tennis shoe with his nose.

"Great, thanks Margo." Looking back at Jack, she grinned. "We'll stay here and cook together, and it'll be fun." He squeezed her hand and smiled back.

"All right, as long as you're okay with that."

"Honey, I'm okay with anything. I just so appreciate the day and your thoughtfulness."

"Anything for you, love," he kissed her hand and Margo snapped her fingers.

"Brody. I think Brody is a great name." Jack and Kate looked at the puppy and then each other, and nodded.

"Agreed." They spoke in unison.

* * *

"If he pees on my carpet one more time, Jack," Kate warned as Jack came in from the porch carrying a suddenly feisty Brody. The puppy scampered around the living room, pulling on anything he could get his mouth on, including Kate's hair, from where she was scrubbing a spot on the floor on her hands and knees.

"He'll learn, it won't take long."

"Do you even know what you're talking about?" She laughed, brushing her curls out of her face. Her hair was no longer under control, thanks to her impromptu shower washing the puppy, and Jack found her remarkably gorgeous, reminding him of times before, in a different place, where she hadn't had the luxury of a blow-dryer. He sat down on the couch behind her, pulling her by the waist to sit on his lap.

"No, but I did Google a little bit before you got home and before I even attempted to give him a bath." She leaned into him, her arm resting around his neck, one of his hands on her hip, the other on her leg. "Have you ever had a dog?"

"We had a hound dog when I was a kid, when my dad hunted. We got him when he was a puppy, and he was adorable. I remember house training him. He learned pretty fast. I just hope this one does too."

"What was his name?" Jack played with one of her girls, inhaling the scent of her perfume, and the baby shampoo she'd used to wash the dog. Her yoga pants and cotton tank top didn't leave much to the imagination, and with the candle light around the room, as high up as they could get them of course, he was finding himself enjoying their night in more than he might have if they'd gone out.

"Scooter." Kate giggled at the name and Jack kissed her cheek.

"I think that's a great name."

"Yeah, he was a good dog. I think this little guy will be good too." She leaned over to where the Brody was chewing Jack's shoelace and held her hand up. "Sit." She commanded gently. He laid down instead, and tilted his head in curiosity. "I think we have a ways to go." She laughed lightly, standing and making her way into the kitchen. Jack followed, and Brody came bounding along as well, sliding around the floor with this big paws. Their finished dinner sat on the table and she felt she needed to clean the plates before they moved on to anything else. Jack had other ideas though.

"Hey, come here for a second," he beckoned her, grasping her hand and pulling her toward the office.

"Why?" she followed curiously. Coming in to the office behind him, he moved around her shutting the French doors so the small puppy couldn't ruin another white carpet. He motioned for her to sit down on the loveseat in the room, and she did so, while he rummaged around the desk for something. "What are you looking for?"

"Oh, nothing," he replied before finding a few papers he wanted and then reaching under the desk and presenting a small gift bag. Kate felt surprise run through her veins again before looking up at him in shock.

"Jack, I think the spa day was enough." She looked up at him incredulously as he sat beside her and handed her the gift bag.

"I wanted to give you something else. I actually feel guilty Aaron's not here because he helped me pick it out. " Kate felt her eyes water as she reached into the bag and pulled out a small blue velvet box.

"Oh, Jack," she began, as she opened the box. When the box was fully opened, her breath caught in her throat and she placed a hand instinctively over her heart. "Jack, it's beautiful."

"Do you like it?" he probed, wanting to make sure. Inside lay a heart necklace, and inside the heart were two small stones, one topaz for Aaron's birth month of November and one diamond for Adam's birth month of April. The necklace itself was silver, and Kate couldn't believe what Jack had done.

"Jack, I love it. It's amazing. Thank you so much!" She embraced him eagerly, tightly, around his neck and he hugged her waist. "Thank you."

"You're welcome. We thought you'd like it." He reached back up on the desk and pulled down the papers he had before he gave her the box. "Now this…this is something I think you're going to really like. I know I had planned on St. Lucia, but I really wanted a particular place somewhere else, and when it became available, I had to book it." He handed her the paperwork and plane tickets, and she looked them over excitedly.

"Fiji? No way." Kate looked back up at Jack, shocked, and he appeared very happy with her expression.

"Yes way. It's all bought, and paid for. We leave in July." Kate looked sharply back up again from the paper to Jack's face.

"July?" she asked, incredulously. He nodded.

"I told you, there was somewhere specific I wanted to get reservations and when I was alerted they were available, I couldn't not do it. So July it is. My mom will have the babies, and we'll not have to kennel the puppy." Jack gestured toward the glass French doors where the small puppy was lying on the other side, staring intently at them . They both chuckled before Kate looked back at the tickets.

"Is this why my son is drinking that God-forsaken formula?" She asked, half-kidding. Jack shrugged guiltily.

"Mostly, yes. But we wouldn't be able to go if you were still nursing. And I'm telling you, you're going to love it." He pleaded with her to understand his actions, and she didn't seem overly upset by them.

"Well, I guess I better start running in the mornings again." Kate looked up at him and excitement danced all over her eyes.

"So you're excited?" Jack asked, hopeful.

"Excited? Are you kidding? I want to go right now!" She threw the papers over her shoulder and launched herself at her husband, landing on his chest. He laughed, catching her, and her lips covered his. "Thank you so much for everything. I have had to most wonderful day."

"I'm glad. And you're welcome. And I really hope you can learn to love Brody like Aaron and I do. Adam would love him too if he were old enough." Jack teased her, kissing her nose. Kate scrunched it, giggling.

"Whatever. How did it end up four against one? You couldn't have caught a female dog?"

"What? I thought you always got along better with boys."

"Well, I do, generally speaking but that doesn't mean it wouldn't be nice to have to estrogen around once and a while."

"You have my mom." Jack kidded and Kate scoffed.

"Um..I love your mom, but that's not quite what I meant." Kate leaned back in and covered her husband's lips with hers, allowing the kiss to go deeper this time. It wasn't long before hands were roaming where they'd been dying to go all day.

Out of breath, from kissing and otherwise, Jack leaned away from Kate's lips, grazing her neck as she moaned against him.

"You know what?" he sighed against her neck, tickling her,

"Hmm?"

"I don't think we've had sex in here yet." He shared his revelation and Kate thought for a moment.

"I think you're right. I guess now is as good a time as any." With that Kate's shirt was gone, revealing her bare skin to him, and it didn't take long before they were on the floor, their make-out session continuing. Kate looked up at one point and caught the small puppy staring at her and she laughed, getting Jack's attention. "Jack, look at Brody. Please pull the curtains. I can't have him staring at me like that." Jack laughed with her, rising, and pulling the black curtains over the glass doors.

"We're going to regret that, you know." Jack commented, stripping his own shirt and resuming his position with her on the floor. She giggled and then groaned.

"We're never going to be alone anymore. Now we have a child who will always be around!"

Jack raised his head and cocked an eyebrow. "I'll build him a dog house." He bartered and after a moment of thinking, Kate nodded.

"Okay. I'm in."

"I think that's my line.." Jack teased and Kate swatted his shoulder.

"Oh hush, you brat."

"What? It's about to be." Their laughter filled the office, and Kate couldn't remember the last time, if ever, she'd had such an amazing birthday. She couldn't wait for Fiji. She loved he children, but 10 days, alone, on an island, with five star accommodations was hard to pass up. Especially after the last time they did that. She was going to enjoy every minute this time, no matter what.

* * *

**Well, how was that? 8300 words. I hope you guys are happy ;-) Please let me know what you think! I'm dying to know! And thank you again for your patience. See you again at the beginning of Part II!**


	41. Part II, Chapter 40

**Part II**

**Chapter 40 **

**Hi everyone! So nice to be updating so soon! I appreciate your patience while I worked through the logistics of this chapter and the coming ones. They're not going to be an easy write, but I'm excited about what's ahead. I hope everyone enjoys this chapter, and I am totally open to suggestions, comments, constructive criticism, everything. **

**This chapter and the following do contain a little Sci-fi in the way of LOST so hang in there for that too. I am not a Sci-fi writer, nor do I even like it that much (LOST was about the characters for me, not the science fictionish stuff), but I'm taking a crack at it for the sake of my story. Let's see how it goes...**

**Disclaimer (feel like I should just throw this out there, haven't done it in a while and I'm about to touch already claimed territory): I do not own Jack, Kate, Aaron, Lost, or any of the other characters or aspects of the show. This is written for fun, and flattery. Adam and Brody I do own, however :-) **

**Your reviews have been amazing lately and I can't tell you how much I love and appreciate them. Keep 'em coming! I'll need them for reassurance in the upcoming chapters…**

**All right, on to the chapter. Drum roll please...**

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**Chapter 40**

July 2008

Kate looked at her overpacked suitcase and tried to determine if there was anything she didn't want to bring. She had stuffed it to the brim with summer dresses, cute outfits, and brand-new bathing suits, along with flip flops, sandles, and heels, and she had left barely any room for her make-up bag and hair accessories. Sneaking a peek at Jack's neatly packed, only half filled bag, she contemplated asking him for room. Instead, she pulled out a heavy sweatshirt she had packed, just in case it was chilly, and decided to change into the one pair of jeans she had packed, figuring if she wore the heaviest stuff she had on the plane, she'd have more room in her bag. Shedding her shorts, she slipped on the ripped jeans (she'd ripped them herself for comfort and style after she had bought them) and slid her sneakers on, also a heavy item. Sporting a baby-tee over her fit body, she assessed her outfit in the mirror. She had been running every morning before Jack went to work, and made a point to hit the gym three times a week for a little weight-lifting. Nothing too intense, she just wanted to look her best on this trip. She decided to wear, or at least carry, a zip front sweatshirt, and she'd put her non-liquid makeup in her carry-on backpack for even more room. Satisfied she had sorted out her packing situation, she looked up at Jack, who had one eyebrow raised at her.

"What?" She asked with a grin, already knowing what he was going to say.

"You do remember we're going to Fiji, right? Not Maine?" He commented, crossing the room to her and touching the top of her jeans. "I love these on you, but it's not going to be cold there."

"I know," she replied with a self-satisfied smile, "but I wanted to bring them and this sweatshirt and my sneakers, and the only way I could do that was if I wore them because I don't have enough room in the suitcase for my hair stuff if I dont."

"What hair stuff? As far as I'm concerned, I'm going to make it a point that you never at any point have to use a blow dryer or a curling iron." He moved closer to her and swept her into his arms, holding her tight against him. "Trust me, with the things I have in mind, we will be doing a lot of the beach, and then a lot of the room." He nibbled lightly on her neck and she giggled.

"What about eating?" She teased. He growled playfully against her neck.

"I know what I'll be having-"

"Hi Mommy!" Aaron ran into the room at that particular moment, throwing himself into Kate's already full suitcase. "I go too!"

Jack sighed, stepping away from her, and Kate giggled again, this time at the inopportune moment her son had chose as his entrance. Jack moved back to his suitcase, and began moving items around. Kate reached for Aaron.

"I know you want to sweetie, but we'll be back in 8 days. You're going to have so much fun with Grandma, Adam, and Brody, you won't even miss us!" The puppy clearly heard his name and also came barreling into the room, and Kate was glad Adam was safe in his playpen beside her. At five months old, the baby was not ready to be handling the large dog yet. And Brody was already large for his age, almost 50 pounds at 7 months old. And he was a handful at his best moments.

"Brody, sit." She commanded the black-eyed furry monster, as he bounded around the bedroom, causing Aaron to laugh in fright on the bed. Brody sat at Kate's command for about 5 seconds and before she could pet him and praise him, he was on their bed, licking a delighted Aaron. He was very gentle for such a large animal, she knew he would be over 100 pounds before he was done growing, but he adored Aaron and never once had hurt him, his only intention was to lick the poor child to death. He slept on Aaron's floor (sometimes in his bed, if Kate didn't catch him), and was very attached to the little boy. That was their angle when they had convinced Margo, with her big back yard, and large house, to take in the puppy too while they were gone. He was house trained, and had great manners (for the most part, depending on which you asked, Jack or Kate), and Margo had become a fan of the adorable little puppy. Kate was glad Jack was happy too, who had just come back into the room from the bathroom, also now in jeans, and was on the bed playing with the playfully growling puppy and Aaron. Adam coo'ed in delight at the scene on the bed, laughing his little laughs from his playpen. Kate was suddenly homesick, and thought for a moment about calling off the trip.

"I think I have four boys now." Kate spoke, laughing, as she pulled the German Shepherd off her husband and son. "Brody, sit."

"Mommy, did you know Brody is the name of the guy from JAWS?" Aaron spoke excitedly to his mother. Kate raised an eyebrow and looked over at Jack, who was suddenly very busy with his cell phone.

"Really? How do you know this, little one?" She replied skeptically, peering at her husband, whose cheeks were a little pinker than normal.

"It was on TV yesterday and Daddy and I watched it." Kate sighed a little sigh of relief that it was at least a television version, slightly edited, but wasn't overwhelmingly excited her three year old was watching a movie about a killer shark.

"Jack? Is this true? You let my son watch a horror movie about a shark?" Jack raised his head, looking at her, feigning innocence.

"It was edited for TV, Kate. There wasn't much blood, or swearing." He reasoned, stepping toward her. "You weren't scared, were ya, kiddo?" He and Aaron exchanged a high five, and Kate could see down the road, 12 years from now, when Jack would be letting her son joyride in their expensive cars and think it was totally fine.

"This is just the banding of allies I need." Kate sighed in fake dramatics, and then looked back at Jack. "We'll talk about this on the plane." Aaron began his version of a synopsis of the movie.

"-and the shark went after the sailor guy and tried to eat him, and it ate this girl, and then they cut one open, and it's guts fell out-"

"Really good job, Jack. Really good one." Kate rolled her eyes and shook her head at her husband as Aaron continued telling her the three-year old version of the seventies movie. He shrugged, giving her an apologetic look.

"He's my little boy. It's what you're supposed to do. They call it male bonding."

"Jack, he's three. I'd hardly say he's old enough for 'male bonding'." She said the last part in quotations, "How does he even know the word 'guts'?" and then placed her pointer finger at the child's lips and signaled him to be quiet. "Baby, lets not talk about the shark anymore right now, okay? Why don't you do play with Luke Skywalker and Han Solo for a bit." The little boy contemplated the soft suggestion and then he nodded.

"Okay." When he was gone, Jack looked at her with a slight smile.

"And what exactly makes Star Wars better for him to watch?" Jack asked, his hands on his hips.

"Sharks are real. Light sabers aren't." Satisfied with her argument, she turned on her heel and headed for the bathroom. Halfway there, she turned and stuck her tongue out at the man behind her, who took that as ammunition, and began for her, chasing her laughing form into the bathroom.

* * *

"Thank you again, so much Margo. Are you sure you're going to be okay with them alone?" Kate asked again, for the umpteenth time as Jack packed their luggage into the Tahoe, preparing to leave for the airport. Margo laughed, nodding.

"Yes, Kate. We'll be fine. I have everyone's numbers if I need anything, or just need a break, and the kennel for the dog is right down the road, if I find I can't deal with him and the kids. I'll be fine, Kate. I'm actually pretty excited about it." She grinned at the infant in Kate's arms, and the three-year old attached to her leg.

"Mommy, don't go." Aaron whimpered into her leg. This was the first time they had been seperated since her trial, and it tore at her heart. She handed Adam to Margo, and bent down to Aaron's level, pulling him to her chest.

"You're going to have so much fun, sweet pea. We'll be home in 8 days. Grandma will help you count, okay? And I'll bring you a present home from the island, okay?"

"Where are you going?" he asked, also for the umpteenth time. Kate smiled, though her eyes were filled with a few tears.

"Fiji."

"Fiji." The small child repeated the word again, as if holding it somewhere close to his heart. Kate kissed his forehead and hugged him close.

"I love you, sweet pea."

"Love you too, Mommy." One tear slid down his cheek and Kate wiped it away, kissing where it had fallen.

"Be good, okay? And look out for Adam."

"I will." Jack moved next to her and the little boy attached himself to Jack's legs. Jack picked him up and hugged him close, the little boy wrapping his arms and legs around Jack. The scene broke Kate's heart, and yet warmed it at the same time, that the two men who meant the most to her, who she never thought would have a relationship, were now as close as she and Aaron were. Jack whispered a few things into the child's ear, and he nodded in reply, before Jack squeezed him one last time, and kissed his head, before setting him down. Kate hugged Adam one more time, and then Aaron again because he was really struggling, and watched Jack hug and kiss Adam and his mother one last time.

"Thanks again, Mom."

"You're welcome. You two be safe and e-mail me when you get there. I love you both." She waved and called as they began for the truck. They both turned.

"We love you too. Bye Adam, bye Aaron. Bye Brody." The dog barked from his place behind Margo's fence, his front paws on the top railing, and Kate chewed her bottom lip as she climbed into the car.

"Do you think it was a good idea to leave Brody with your mother?" Kate asked regrettably, as she fastened her seatbelt. Jack nodded, placing the truck in drive.

"Oh yeah. She'll be fine. He's not a terror, and he listens. As long as he listens to her, and she lets him run around, she'll be fine."

"It's the listening part I'm worried about." Kate sniffled a little and Jack grabbed her hand softly, squeezing it.

"You okay, Kate?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. I just miss my babies already." Kate wiped her eye momentarily and then smiled at Jack.

"They'll be fine, baby. Don't you worry. We'll be home before they know it. I have some great stuff planned for us."

"Like what?" Kate inquired. They had talked about the trip a lot, but he always played off his plans.

"Oh, you know...dinners, beach days, room days..." He winked at her and she laughed, rolling her eyes.

"That's all you think about, isn't it?"

"I'm still working on making up for that 8 months and six weeks were couldn't or didn't do anything. Don't you worry; it's all good for you. Besides, it's what you do on a honeymoon." He smiled devilishly at her and she laughed, twirling a finger in her straight, soft brown hair.

"Well, I look forward to it then." Her eyes gleamed playfully, and she leaned back against her seat. "I don't even know what it's going to be like to not have children for eight days!"

"I know. I don't even know what it's like to not have to work." She laughed at his playfulness, though he had worked a record amount lately, and hadn't had a weekend not on call for a month. She could see the dark circles under his eyes from lack of sleep, and it felt nice to be sitting next to him in their car, since they rarely drove anywhere together because of his schedule.

"I know, I've missed you lately." She spoke with a tender smile, catching his eye. He grinned back.

"I've missed you too. It'll be nice to be able to sit together, on a white sand beach, and not have anywhere to be and have nothing to do. I cannot wait."

"Me either. This is our first trip together, except to the mountains."

"I know. It took a lot of convincing to get the judge to release your probation for ten days."

"I know. Why did you get ten days?"

"Just in case of delays and any unexpected bumps. I didn't want you getting arrested because our plane didn't take off." He laughed, but they both know it was a serious matter. The judge who had sentenced her to ten years probation inside California state lines had allotted her, due to Christian's lawyer's persistence, ten days outside the state lines, for their honeymoon only, and nothing else. Her passport would be scanned leaving LA and arriving in Fiji, and then on the way back, and everyone, to Kate's dismay and embarrassment, would be aware she was on probation for the crimes she committed. Jack had assured her, however, no action would be taken against her, and her probation would continue as stipulated, as long as she remained only on Fiji or in California. If they should land anywhere else, or go anywhere else, she ran the risk of being exported back to the US and facing charges. And neither Jack nor Kate wanted that.

Jack pulled into the parking garage at the airport and parked the large vehicle, switching it off. He then looked at her with a big smile.

"Are you ready to fly again?" Jack asked, his tone excited. Kate took a nervous deep breath and sighed with a smile.

"As ready as I'll ever be. As long as we don't crash, I'll be fine." They exited the car and met at the hatch to get their luggage.

"The odds being involved in another plane crash for us is, like, one percent. We'll be fine." He kissed her forehead, unloaded their bags, and they headed into the airport to catch their flight.

* * *

Kate sat comfortably in her airplane seat, her head resting against the back of the headrest as the large 747 made its way across the Pacific Ocean. They were three hours into their nine hour flight and Kate was finally starting to relax.

"Thank you for loosening the death grip you had on my hand." Jack said with a smirk, flexing his cramped hand. Kate giggled.

"I'm sorry; I just feel such déjà vu being on an Oceanic flight going over the ocean. It's eerie." Kate tried not to look out her window, she didn't want to see the waves below, she didn't want to see the one thing she was afraid of.

"We'll be fine, Kate. The odds of us crashing again are insanely low. You just need to relax and have faith in the pilot." Jack leaned back against the headrest and sighed comfortably.

"How can you be so calm?"

"Honey, it's just my nature. I'm not going to worry about something I can't control; something that isn't going to happen." Jack reached over with a soft smile and grasped her hand, squeezing it. "I love you."

Kate smiled at his words and instantly relaxed more. "I love _you_." She held his gaze for a moment before speaking again. "Thank you again for this. I'm super excited."

"Me too. I can't wait to just relax on a beach, a real beach, with a real hotel behind us, and nothing crazy going on. This is what a vacation should be."

"I miss the boys already. All three of them." Kate laughed despite herself at including the dog in her list, and Jack shook his head.

"I miss them too. But they'll be fine, and we'll appreciate this time alone."

"I know we will. I just spend all my time with them, it's weird to not be with them." She took a moment of silence before speaking again. "Speaking of my time, I wanted to talk to you about something."

"Sure, what's up?" His gaze was curious and supportive and she grinned nervously.

"I wanted to talk to you about my future. I know you make good money, and between both our settlement money from the crash and your salary, we're doing better than fine, but I was feeling a little bit like I should be contributing." She paused to gauge his reaction and he furrowed his brow, concerned.

"Kate, you are contributing. You added what you had from the settlement to our money, which is in our savings account, and we have my salary to live off of and we're doing just fine. What else do you want to contribute?"

"Well, I was thinking that I wanted to go back to school…" She drifted off, watching his handsome face absorb her words.

"You want to go to college?" he asked her, curiously. She nodded tentatively.

"Yeah, I think I do. I want our kids to be proud of me and if we ever have more , I want to be financially secure, and—"

"More?" He questioned, his eyebrows raised. Kate giggled.

"Anyway, I just want to be able to say I have a career and that I went to school. Since I'm not in jail, and LA is a good place to go to school, I figured I would ask you what you thought and then maybe apply to some colleges in the area. I know I've been out of school a long time, but I think I really want to do this." Her face was hopeful as she watched him and waited for his answer.

"Do you know what you want to do?"

"I want to be a elementary school teacher I think." Jack's face showed surprise, again.

"Really?"

"Yeah, I do. I'm good with kids and I enjoy them, and I think it would be fun and rewarding." Jack contemplated her words.

"I do have to say, I'm surprised that you want to go to school and of your choice in career, but I can't say I'm unhappy about it for you. I think you'd be a great teacher and I think you'd really like it. I understand your reasons. If you want to go to college, I completely support you." He leaned in and placed a soft kiss on her lips. Kate beamed at him with excitement and love.

"Thank you so much!"

"Thank you? You don't have to ask permission." Jack laughed. Kate blushed.

"Well, I wasn't sure how you would feel. I mean, having to get a nanny and all, I wasn't—" In mid-sentence, Kate stopped talking as the plane shook slightly. Jack watched the color drain from her freckled face as she immediately gripped his hand.

"Shh, it's okay. Just a little turbulence, nothing to be afraid of." He tried to calm her, squeezing her hand. "All right, not so tight," Jack chuckled a little at his wife before the plane shook again, more violently this time. Kate watched him and he could see the raw fear in her eyes.

"Jack.." She began in a questioning tone.

"It's all right, Kate. Just take a deep breath." The plane shook more violently and Jack could feel it lurch to its side. _Could this really be happening? _Was his only thought before the lights in the cabin began to flicker erratically and Kate held onto his hand so hard he thought she might break it. There was no time for words as the plane rolled and the last thing Jack heard was a scream from Kate before his world went black.

* * *

**There you go, everyone. Please leave a review…they are very much appreciated. I'm excited for the next chapter and I hope you guys are now too. :-D **


	42. Part II, Chapter 41

**Chapter 41**

****Flashback****

"_Look, I need for you - I need for you to explain to me what the hell's going on inside your head, John. I need to know why you believe that that thing wasn't gonna-" _

"_I believe that I was being tested." _

"_Tested?"_

"_Yeah, tested."_

"_I think that's why you and I don't see eye-to-eye sometimes, Jack - because you're a man of science."_

"_Yeah, and what does that make you?" _

"_Me, well, I'm a man of faith. Do you really think all this is an accident - that we, a group of strangers survived, many of us with just superficial injuries? Do you think we crashed on this place by coincidence - especially, this place? We were brought here for a purpose, for a reason, all of us. Each one of us was brought here for a reason." _

"_Brought here? And who brought us here, John?" _

"_The Island. The Island brought us here. This is no ordinary place, you've seen that, I know you have. But the Island chose you, too, Jack. It's destiny." _

"_Did you talk with Boone about destiny, John?" _

"_Boone was a sacrifice that the Island demanded. What happened to him at that plane was a part of a chain of events that led us here - that led us down a path - that led you and me to this day, to right now." _

"_And where does that path end, John?" _

"_The path ends at the Hatch. The Hatch, Jack - all of it - all of it happened so that we could open the Hatch." _

"_No, no, we're opening the Hatch so that we can survive." _

"_Survival is all relative, Jack." _

"_I don't believe in destiny." _

"_Yes, you do. You just don't know it yet."_

**End Flashback**

Jack's eyes fluttered open. The world above him was a blurry green. Blinking several times and registering pain from all over his body, Jack attempted to sit up, begging his body for the strength to do so. With a moan and a gasp, both out of pain, he was finally sitting, staring at an abyss of green all around him. Bamboo shoots, large leaves and trees, and dirt terrain both surprised him and comforted him. Taking a moment, he tried to determine if anything was broken. He made mental note of a large gash on his left tricep, which he assumed was from one of the stalks surrounding him, and an ache from his chest and back, maybe a broken or bruised rib, he decided. Fighting against pain and dizziness, Jack pulled himself to a standing position, holding on to a tree by him. At first it was painful, but then the pain began to subside and he felt better with every deep breath he took. Viewing his surroundings, the green jungle of trees, leaves, vines, and mountains brought a sickening feeling to his stomach. This looked familiar, he thought to himself, trying to come to terms with where he was. And then his mind to turned to Kate, who was nowhere near him.

"Kate!" He yelled, the grasped his side in pain, where he suspected he had bruised the rib. "Kate!"

He listened, and nothing came back. Only the sounds of birds and a faint sound of waves could be heard. A panic coursed through him. He had to find her, had to make sure she was all right. He began for the beach, similar to a path he had once walked before.

* * *

Kate awoke, coughing. The water in her lungs burned and she felt cold. She tried to push up and out of the water, pulling her face out of it, but slipped and fell back in. A pain radiated from her head, and she could feel the warm trickle of blood over her eye. Pushing again, harder this time, she managed to kneel in what she then realized was a stream. Dirt and mud covered the front of her, and unsteadily, she attempted to wipe some of it from her face. Gasping, she leaned back, settling her rear-end on her heels, trying to get over the feeling of the world spinning. She leaned back to a sitting position and opened her eyes fully, taking in the area around her. A searing panic coursed through her veins, and she suddenly felt tears spring to her eyes without warning. "_No, no, no,_" was all her mind kept repeating as she searched her surroundings. Fear shook her and she was surprised by the feeling, as she wasn't one to be afraid. But she wasn't the same person she had been on the Island anymore, she was a domesticated version of herself, used to a normal life, in a normal house, where she was safe in the arms of her doctor husband, and the unloaded handgun sitting with its shells in his locked desk drawer. She began to shiver, most likely from the shock of the situation, and screamed for Jack. No answer came, her breathing only quickened, and she fought her shaky legs to stand, leaning on a rock beside her. When she was sure her soggy feet would hold her, she began toward a mound of what looked like clothing. Her zip-up sweatshirt lay on the ground in a heap with her backpack. Feeling hopeful, Kate kneeled next to it, fighting back tears as she unzipped the small front pocket furiously, grabbing for her cell phone. She pulled it out and tried turning it on, but it wouldn't work. Angered, she threw it back in her pack.

_Where is Jack? _Began Kate's frantic thoughts as she looked around her. "Jack!" She yelled again, and then paused, waiting to hear a response. Nothing came. "Jack!" The fear inside her heart was devastatingly real as she tried to calm herself and to assess her situation.

"One.." she whispered.

"Two.." a single tear rolled down her cheek.

"Three.."

"Four.." another one followed.

"Five." Kate waited for the fear to pass, and was saddened when it didn't. It always worked. But then again, he'd always been there to help her fight her fear. She had to find him. Determined, she stood slowly, pulling her backpack on to her back, her sweatshirt around her waist. She used the arm of the sweatshirt to wipe the blood from her head before moving off unsteadily, determining a route. She was worried to realize that things around her looked familiar.

She was thankful for her choice in clothing suddenly, for a summer dress and sandals would not be the proper attire for such an adventure. Her sneakers would at least protect her feet and her jeans, despite the holes, would keep her legs from getting abused by the brush around her. It was hot, as hot as she wished she didn't remember, and that didn't help her fear factor. The sun was bright, and Kate guessed it was early morning their time. Whatever time zone that was.

Kate yelled a few times for Jack, never getting a response, and that worried her. _What if he's unconsious somewhere, or worse..._, her thoughts drifted off, not allowing herself to register thoughts of anything worse. She covered the ground faster by the minute, the pounding in her head slowing to an ache, and the ache in her body dulling out thanks to her movement. She stumbled upon a path and decided on a direction that looked familiar to her, trying to determine if it led back to the beach, or to the caves. She was still praying somewhere deep that they weren't back where they had been before, but something inside her told her not to waste the energy. She knew where she was. Maybe not directly, but she knew.

* * *

Jack stumbled through the forest, the pain in his ribcage searing, and his lack of blood causing him fatigue. He had moved a mile or so, he determined by the time that had past, but he didn't know how much true progress he was making. His headache was intense, and his arm was throbbing. Against his better judgement, he removed his shirt, and, against the pain in his arm, ripped it with his teeth into a jagged version of a thick straight line, tying it around his arm to cover his wound and try to slow the blood flow. He pulled it tight with his teeth, gasping at the pain that shot through his arm with the tight pull. He knew he had to find Kate, not only for her own safety but for his wellbeing, as he didn't know how long he could continue before he had to rest. Jack peered down at his chest, a blackish bruise appearing across his right upper abdominal area, and he worried for a brief moment of internal bleeding. He didn't have time to worry though, he knew he had to push on, that he had to find her, because if he was in this much pain, she could be worse. He was reminded of another time in his life when he had had his appendix removed, in a place similiar to here, and cringed at the pain he had been in. This was similiar, but worse somehow. At least then he had known the diagnosis. Now, he couldn't allow himself to think about it. He had to make due until he found her, and then they would assess the damage together.

Jack struggled moving on, and after another 100 yards or so, sat down on a rock, breathing heavily. The pain was draining his body of his energy and he knew he needed to rest, though he was not about accepting that. His dizziness returned and his body swayed on the rock, as he dreaded trying to stay upright. Closing his eyes, he tried to steady his breathing and control the pain. His reverie was interupted.

"Jack." The familiar, male voice caused Jack to hesitantly open his eyes, and he looked up, unsure of what he would see. He was silent for a moment as the face before him registered.

"Dad?"

"Hey there, kiddo. Having a tough time?" The words were kind, a different tone for his father, much reminding him of the moment in his living room many months ago. Jack nodded through the pain, his eyes watering. The older man placed a hand on the bare shoulder of his son. "Hang in there. She's out there, you'll find her." His voice was a comforting sound for Jack, who, with his father's hand resting on his shoulder, felt relaxed, as if he wasn't alone. Jack nodded.

"Okay. Is she..." he couldn't finish the sentence, a tear of pain and emotion sliding down his cheek. Christian shook his head.

"She's better off than you. Rest for a while and when your strength's up, go on. You'll find her." He patted the younger man's cheek and then stepped back. Jack's eyes widened.

"Wait, Dad, but..." Christian shook his head again, this time with a small grin.

"I have to go, son. Hang in there." Jack watched as his father gave him a small wink, and walked off, gone just as suddenly as when he had arrived. Jack sat, dumbfounded for a moment, and knew he must have dreamt that moment in his pain. He did, however, decide to heed his father's advice, and rest for a few moments before going on, saving what strength he had. With the reassurance she was better than he was, he knew she could fend for herself while he rested. He would find her though, as soon as he could go on.

* * *

Kate pushed through thick brush, trying to make progress through the dense jungle. Her emotions were a mix of worry, fear, and anger, wishing they weren't where she thought they were and wishing she could find Jack. She had continued yelling but had yet to hear or find him. She was growing more worried and discouraged by the moment. Then she heard movement.

Kate ducked behind large fern leaves, unsure of what it might be. "Jack?" She spoke with little above a whisper, hoping above anything it was him. Nothing responded and Kate began to panic inside, wondering what it was moving toward her. Her heart raced at all the possibilities as she tried to sink backward, farther into the dense fern bushes. She thought she was out of sight when she stepped on a stick that cracked, causing the movement she was trying to avoid to get closer. Kate took a deep breath, feeling for anything sharp in her vicinity for her protection. Unable to find something suitable without taking much time to look, she thought running was her best chance. Turning quickly and staying low, she attempted to take off, but not before she was seen.

"Stop!" A heavy Korean accent commanded her. Kate stopped short at the sound of a gun cocking, and the familiar sound of the accent. She placed her hands out beside her, in surrender, and turned slowly. Nothing could have prepared her for the face that belonged to the voice staring back at her. Her arms lowered in surprise, and she gave him a questioning, shocked look.

"Jin?" Kate greeted curiously. The man was giving her the same look back, clearly having trouble processing the person before him.

"Kate?" He returned, lowering his high-powered firearm. He stepped forward, as if still unsure.

"Oh my God...," Kate began, still absorbing the significance of the Korean man in front of her.

"What are you doing here?" Jin began, surprising her again with his English.

"Your English is so good!" Kate registered with a smile of surprise, and with the sudden realization she wasn't alone. She threw her arms around him. "Oh my gosh! I'm so happy to see you!" He hugged her back with the arm not holding the gun, and then pulled back, and repeated his question. Kate's eyes registered sadness.

"I don't even know. Jack and I were on a plane to Fiji, and then there was a lot of turbulance, the cabin when black, and there was this bright, violent flash. I woke up alone in a stream five miles or so that way." She pointed in the general direction.

"Why were you going to Fiji?" Jin asked curiously. Kate's face grew more saddened and dissapointment marked her features.

"We were going on our honeymoon." Instinctively, Kate checked her left hand for the tenth time, securing the fact that her rings were still in place. Unwillingly, she removed the small chain that held the necklace Jack had given her and took her rings off her finger, placing them on the chain and re-fastening it to her neck. Jin watched all this incredulously.

"You're married?" Kate nodded with a small smile.

"7 months next week." It felt like forever with them, it always had. Jin smiled at her, enclosing her in another tight hug.

"Congratulations." Jin paused a moment, before an intense look crossed his features.

"How is Sun?" Kate could tell he had been dying to ask someone that question for a long time, and felt grateful she could answer it. She gave him a smile.

"She's good. She misses you a lot though." She paused and took in his relief before she continued. "You have a daughter. Ji Yeon." Jin's face broke into a big smile and Kate felt like she had just given him the best gift.

"Thank you, Kate. Thank you. I have worried for so long about them."

"They're great, and she's healthy. Don't worry." Kate then shook her head, now a look of desperation on her features. "I dont know where Jack is. I can't find him. I've called for him and I'm worried he didn't-" she couldn't say the words; she had to believe he was somewhere on this Island looking for her.

"We'll find him. Come with me." Jin ushered her in a different direction than she had been going and she followed reluctantly.

"Jin, I really think we need to keep looking for Jack. He might be hurt-"

"We will look for him, but we need to get your head cleaned up first." He motioned to the large cut on her head. Kate reached up, remembering the blood.

"Jin! He might be really hurt!"

"We'll get a group together and all go. I promise you, Kate. We'll find him. I've been here for four years. I know this Island. We'll find him." With the hope of a group to help locate Jack, though she was curious of who this group would include, Kate followed him, eager to get where they were going so they could get to Jack.

"Okay. But we need to get a group together fast because we need to find him."

* * *

**I know it's not the longest chapter ever, but I wanted to update. I'm really excited about the next chapter. I know this one was a little sci-fi, and I hope you're all still with me. And I hope you enjoyed the reappearance of our dear Christian. :-) Let me know what your thoughts are...I really need to encouragement and reviews to keep this story going the way you all want it to (at least somewhat). Thank you in advance. And thank you for all the reviews last chapter! Hello to all the new reviewers, I was very happy to get your reviews! **

**For those of you who don't know this already, I have created a Facebook page for my stories. Search 'MorningGlory2 Fiction' and the 'Page' should come up. 'Like' the page, and you will be able to get update status, answer polls, keep up-to-date with my life and know when to expect chapters, and discuss and talk about my stories. :-) I'm very excited about this page, and already have some stuff up there. Please go 'Like' it! And if you're having trouble, please PM me and I will either Friend you or somehow try to help you find the page. Thanks! Hope you all like it!**

**Thanks again for reading! Look for another update soon! (And for Missing Scenes, I'm working on one of those too right now!)**


	43. Part II, Chapter 42

Chapter 42

_All been waiting for this? heheh I think I love that. And all of your for you amazing reviews! Don't forget to check out the facebook page...com/pages/MorningGlory2-Fiction/116109828462232_

_thanks guys. you have been amazing with your reviews and I hope I do not dissapoint. Please check out my newest chapter to "Missing Pieces", if you have not already. Delicious fluffyness. :-D _

_All right, on to this wonderful chapter..._

_Oh, PS-a little AU still, not cannon (clearly)...it is NOT 1977. It's 2008, just like in the rest of my fic. Just an FYI, otherwise this might be confusing. Thanks. Enjoy._

_PPS-There was a typo in here about Juliet...I fixed it. Sorry about that :-X_

_

* * *

_

"_We call him foxy because he is. He's so dashing. So handsome and debonair." - Evangeline Lilly _

_

* * *

_

Kate followed Jin through the jungle, annoyed at how long it was taking them, and worried about where her husband could be. She kept hoping he would just appear before them, like he'd been looking for her too. She knew he was, had to hope he was, and wouldn't allow herself to think otherwise. She had to hold out the hope he was fine, and just not close to her. They were passing things that looked familiar to her, but she wasn't sure where they were headed. They had been silent awhile, before she spoke.

"Jin, where exactly have you all been living?" She inquired curiously, stepping cautiously over downed trees and rough brush. Jin peered back at her but kept moving.

"Where the other's lived," he replied easily. Kate furrowed her brow and was confused slightly.

"You mean, their houses?" She asked, moving a little faster. Jin nodded.

"Yes. They vacated it and we moved in." Jin bushed some large leaves aside and they were in view of the small cottages. Kate's heart stopped momentarilly; she was weary, and remembered the last time she had been there. She shook the feeling from her body, forcing herself on.

"Wasn't there a lot of damage?" She looked around at the well kept areas around the homes, and the fixed up town. Jin shrugged.

"We've been here a long time, Kate. We had lots of time to fix it up." She followed him up the small path, watching as people watched her. They whispered to one another, and Kate kept her head down. She wasn't seeing many people she knew, probably because some of the Others may still be there, she thought to herself. Jin made his way up a porch and knocked on a door, Kate waiting impatiently at the bottom of the steps, looking around. She wondered how many people had survived the last few years, and wondered, bashing herself, if one person imparticular had made it back to shore.

The door swung open and Kate turned her face back to the door.

"Hey Jin, what's up?" the voice was familiar to Kate, and she looked around Jin. The face was unmistakable, the woman's blonde hair cascading down her shoulders. "Oh my God.." she started, looking at the brunnette at the bottom of her steps.

"Hi, Juliet," Kate tentatively made her way up the stairs, unsure how the woman would react. Surprise was all she showed on her face as she stood in her doorway, looking the bruised, dirty, young woman over.

"Oh my God...how did you get here? Are you all right?" Surprising Kate, the blonde swept Kate into a hug, and Kate hugged her back, suddenly overcome with seeing someone she had thought might be long gone.

"We were on a plane, and there was all this turbulance, and then a bright flash..." Juliet nodded. She'd seen these flashes. She knew. Kate hadn't been there for that.

"We?" Juliet repeated, pulling Kate into the house by her hand. She motioned for the young woman to take a seat, and then looked at Jin. "I'm gonna fix her head. Go find him." She spoke quietly, and Jin nodded. Kate looked between the two, wondering who she meant, as her front door shut behind Jin. "Did the plane crash?" She asked. Kate shook her head.

"I don't know. I have no idea what happened."

Juliet grabbed a few towels and a first aid kit and moved to Kate. "This doesn't look too bad, I think I can butterfly it shut." Kate winced as Juliet looked over the wound. "Who were you with?"

"Jack." Kate felt uneasy as the blonde woman looked over her head. She wasn't comfortable here, like she had been before. Her no-fear mentality had taken a long vacation. She hadn't needed her fight or flight senses in so long. They were still awakening and she was still in flight mode.

"Where is he?" Juliet asked urgently, curiously. Kate shook her head, and felt her eyes grow watery, sure it was partly from the pain and partly from her unsureness.

"I don't know. I came-to in the jungle, and he was no where around me. I'm not sure where he is." Her voice was full of emotion, and when Juliet had finished, she sat down, across from Kate. "Jin said we'd get a group together and go look for him."

"We need to find him. Make sure he's not hurt." She watched Kate's features, and sat back. "Where were you going?"

"Fiji." Kate started, before the door flew open. She and Juliet looked to it, to see who entered. Kate thought she would never see the man who was standing in the door frame again. He stood for a moment, watching her. Juliet looked between the two before standing, putting her things away. Kate stood cautiously, a small smile on her lips.

"Kate?" Sawyer whispered, as if unsure she was real. Kate nodded, moving for him slowly.

"Hey, James." He took in her features, looking her head to toe. Kate didn't know she'd ever admit it out loud, but she was glad he wasn't dead. He didn't deserve that, she felt, since he had jumped from the helicopter to save their lives.

He reached for her, pulling her into an embrace. She hugged him briefly, and smiled to herself. They had been close, after all. When they leaned back, he searched her face. Kate nodded again with a smile.

"She's perfect," she whispered. "And happy." She stepped away from him, and let go of his hand, looking to Juliet, who's face was a darker shade of red, and then to Jin. She changed her tone. "We need to get a group together." She explained to Sawyer.

"Why?" He questioned, and shooting Jin a look, Kate stepped back, picking up her pack.

"Because Jack was on that plane with me and he's out there somewhere. We have to find him!"

"Whoa, slow down, Freckles. What plane?"

"The plane I came from, Sawyer. We have to go find him."

"Did it crash?" Sawyer moved to Juliet, who just lightly pulled away from him as he reached to hug her side.

"I don't know. But I know he's out there. He has to be. We have to go." She slid her pack over her shoulder and looked to Jin. "Do you have a gun I can have?" Sawyer watched the woman before him demand a weapon from Jin, who told her he could get her one, and then move to the door. "I'm going for him, whether someone comes or not." Jin moved out the door to grab her a weapon and she looked at the two people before her, her eyes questioning. Sawyer looked between her and Juliet, who shrugged.

"All right. We'll go. You be all right, honey?" He looked at the blonde, and with curiosity, Kate watched the exchange.

"As always." Juliet responded, placing a kiss on Sawyer's lips. Kate watched them and felt her eyes grow wide in surprise.

Sawyer moved to a closet, grabbing a 9mm, loading it, and sliding it in the back of his jeans. She looked him over, he hadn't aged much, and his hair was just a little longer than the last time she'd seen him.

"Are you two.." Kate began. Sawyer grinned.

"You've been gone almost four years, Kate." It wasn't a direct answer to her question, but she didn't push it. Sawyer handed her another handgun and looked expectantly at Kate.

"You ready?" Kate nodded moving out the door, and Sawyer chuckled a bit to himself. "Leave it to you, Freckles, to gather a hunting party as soon as you get back."

* * *

The humidity must have been a hundred percent, and Kate trudged, determined and soaked, through the jungle. Jin lead them, Saywer behind her. They all hadn't spoke much, all trying to figure out within themselves what was going on. Sawyer was the first to speak.

"How'd you get back here, again?" He asked curiously, moving large leaves aside.

"I told you, a plane. We were going to Fiji." She explained again, getting tired of having to say it over and over.

"Fiji? Must have been nice," Sawyer quipped. He raised his eyebrows at her and she shook her head. "How did you get off the freighter?" Sawyer asked, suddenly realizing there were so many things none of them knew.

"The helicopter. It did crash eventually, but not before we made it off the ship. Penny, Desmond's girlfriend, found us with her boat." Kate wasn't sure how to proceed with the story, and suddenly wished she had Jack for backup. Things she had to explain, she didn't think they would go over well.

"Did you get home? Back to the states?" Kate nodded solemnly.

"Yeah. I went to trial for what I did. I got let off on probation."

"Where's your probation officer now?" Sawyer quipped, and Kate shot him a look.

"Back in LA. I had legal permission to go to Fiji, James. Don't worry." Her sarcastic, almost angry response bristled him.

"Did everyone make it?" Saywer asked, unable to take his eyes off Kate.

"Yeah, they did." Kate nodded as they stopped for water briefly. Kate re-did her ponytail, then crossed her arms. "Sun had a daughter, Ji Yeon. Hurley was fine for a while, but now he's...back in a mental hospital. Desmond and Penny are somewhere on a boat, traveling the world I guess. Sayid got married to this wonderful woman, Nadia. They're very happy; she's pregnant." They took in her words. "We should get moving." She changed the subject after taking a sip of water, and moved to start off.

"What about little Aaron?" Sawyer asked quietly. They all looked at her, waiting for her answer, and tentatively she spoke.

"He's good. Happy and healthy." Kate felt her heart tear a little, missing the little one so much, missing Adam terribly as well. She didn't know why she couldn't bring herself to tell them about her babies, and their marriage. She just wasn't ready, she convinced herself. Why else wouldn't she be honest with them?

"Do you ever see him? He must be what? Almost four now?" They were walking again and Kate felt her eyes grow watery again, glad he couldn't see her face.

"Yeah, I do. He'll be four November 1st." A silence settled over them and Kate was glad for it. She was starting to regret asking for their help, she didn't feel like explaining their life to them. Not without Jack. They weren't gonna take her answer well as to why they never came back for them, as to why they lied to everyone. Continuing on her way, she kept looking around. Jack had to be here, she told herself, he just had to.

* * *

Jack awoke from his place on the ground, unsure of when he fell alseep. Looking around, his heart fell to see he was still amongst green jungle leaves, and in gasping pain. A chill overtook him and upon trying to stand, he buckled to the ground. Angry, and frusteration, Jack tried standing again, this time being able to stay standing. He was holding onto his fathers words, praying for them to be true, but struggling with how he would get to her. His ribs hurt, but he suspected now, that he had no internal bleeding. He couldn't tell how badly his arm was injured, but the pain made him think it needed attention. He needed to find her.

Struggling, he walked on. He found a stream after fifty feet or so, and stopped, cupping the cold water in his hand and taking a long drink of it. It cooled his hot body, and gave his dry throat life. Surveying his surroundings again, trying to determine if anything looked familiar, he saw disruption in the soft dirt on the side of the stream. Moving gently, he slid to the soft spot, the mud moved as if something, or someone, had been there recently. Touching it, he had a breif hope that it was her, that she had fallen here. Looking around, he prayed for anything, a sign or somesort that it had indeed been the spit where Kate had been. As if by a sign from a higher power, or maybe his dead father, Jack could no longer be sure, what looked like a piece of paper caught his eye. Moving to it, he grabbed it, and felt a rush of relief. It was her boarding pass from their flight, it must have fallen from her pocket or her backpack, he presumed, suddenly feeling a rush of hope. Grasping it, he yelled for her. "Kate!" He waited and no sound came in return. He had something now though, a piece of hope. Standing, he began in the directions of her footprints in the mud made from her sneakers. He followed them until they were no longer visible, only a few feet, landing him on a trail. Listening, he determined she wouldn't head back for the beach, she would head deeper into the jungle, if he knew Kate, and decided to head toward the heart of the Island. Maybe the mountains or a valley was where she thought he was. Pushing on, all that kept him going was the vision of her face, holding their son, sitting on their bed as she had done that morning, waiting to take them to his mother's. She had been so happy, so excited for their trip. He knew she had to be somewhere close. How far would she really go? He knew he couldn't move that fast though, and that discouraged him some. Stretching his legs, he moved on, shouting for her every so often. He had to find her. He kept telling himself that. He had to know she was safe. It ached his heart she was here, on the island, alone somewhere, looking for him.

He walked for what felt like forever, until it was almost dark. His legs were wobbly and his breathing labored, he came upon a clearing and almost passed out with delight. There stood the houses, the houses the Others had lived in. There were lights on, and people walking about. Stumbling into the clearing, he raised his hand, waving, beckoning help.

"Please," he begged, almost unable to be heard. Two people came running to him, and he was surprised to hear voices he recognised as he dropped to his knees.

"Oh my-Jack!" The older male gasped. Jack tried to focus on his face, seeing Bernard above him. He looked to the woman beside him, and tried to smile at her. "Rose, go get help!" Bernard barked, trying to steady the kneeling doctor. "What happened? Where did you come from?"

"We were on a plane. I don't know exactly what happened..." he drifted off as he settled onto the ground, sitting now. More people were making their way toward them now, some Jack did not recognise. Amongst the faces, one became very clear to him as the crowd parted, allowing her through.

"Move, please. Give him some air." Juliet's voice was unmistakable and Jack found himself in awe, gazing up at her, as if she were part of a dream. She gave him a small smile. "Hey, Jack. Always making an entrance, huh?" He felt the world begin spinning as he watched her blonde hair fall over her shoulder and graze his bare chest as she inspected his wounds.

"Juliet..." he began before his world went dark again, this time out of exhaustion, dehydration, and shock.

* * *

"Freckles, I hate to say this, but we got to start heading back. It's gettin' dark." Sawyer broke Kate's train of thought, and she turned quickly, stumbling on the loose dirt.

"No. You can go back, but I'm not. I've got to find him." Jin stopped ahead of Kate, causing her to have to stop as well. When she tried to plow past him, Sawyer grabbed her arm somewhat gently.

"Kate, y'all have been gone three years, but nothin's changed. There's still some pluff of smoke out there trying to kill everyone. I ain't lettin' you go on, so quit your kickin' and let's go back." He pulled her gently but she whipped her arm from his grasp.

"No, James. I'm not going back without him. Jack's out here somewhere, hurt or worse, and I have to find him." Tired, stressed, and angry at the man in front of her, her emotions threatened to spill over as tears filled her eyes.

"Kate, I heard you the first ten times ya said that, but I just have one question for you. It's been almost four years and seems nothin' has changed. When are ya just gonna give it up?" Sawyer gave her an exasperated look, and was clearly annoyed with her behavior.

"He's my husband, Sawyer. I'm going to find him with or without you!"

* * *

_Well, I know it's not TOO much, but I'm getting to the good stuff and wanted to give you guys an update. So..how are we feeling so far? Am I doing an okay job with this whole back on the island thing? I would appreciate any and all insight or comments. Help me write this! LOL I'm trying really hard and hopefully I'm doing it justice. Its not easy to go from writing them spooning on the couch to crashing on an island and trying to find one another. I'm trying though. _

_Reviews are love and make me want to write more. Leave some ;-) _

_Hope you enjoyed! I'll update again soon, I promise!_


	44. Chapter 43

Chapter 43

_Thank you for all the amazing reviews! I got reviews from people who never reviewed before! I love that you guys are liking this, and all the encouragement is awesome. I needed it because I wasn't sure. Now I'm sure that this was a good move. I think you all are gonna like this chapter. Hehehe All right, on to the chapter…_

_Oh, and I am in the process of writing a Missing Scene. I think you all will like that too, it's from Jack's POV about some Kate stuff, set to a song that totally reminds me of them. Look for that by the end of the week, I'm hoping. Thanks again, y'all! _

_

* * *

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Sawyer stepped back, shocked by Kate's confession. And the tears now rolling down her cheeks.

"Your husband? You two are—"

"Married, yes, James." He seemed unable to grasp this, looking down at the ground and then back up at her, his face partially hidden by his blonde hair. Kate was angry now, and exhausted and upset, and the last thing she wanted to do was tell Jin and Sawyer everything in that moment. Biting her tongue, she changed her tone, shuffling the toe of her tennis shoe in the dirt. "Listen, James, I know you don't want to go with me, and that's fine. But I have to find him. You would do the same for someone you loved, I know you would." Sawyer's face flinched at the word_ love_, and she could see he wasn't quite accepting of her words. They were all silent for a moment, before Sawyer heavily sighed.

"We'll make camp here tonight. And then we'll keep looking tomorrow. But Kate, if we don't find him tomorrow, we're going back. You're exhausted already, and you're still hurt. And I have things I need to take care of. We'll go back and rest, and go out again the day after. Understand?" Kate nodded eagerly, glad she had gotten her way. She couldn't bare the thought of sleeping in a bed, without Jack, while he was somewhere out on the island, in pain, alone. Finding him was her first, and only, priority.

* * *

Jack could feel pain, and could hear people talking around him, but he struggled in understanding them. Everything felt fuzzy, and all he could concentrate on was the pain and the feeling of chills rushing through his body. He could see a pulsating light above him, and tried to move, but was stopped.

"Easy, Jack. Just hold still, we're almost finished." Her voice was steady, and he knew it, recognized it.

"Juliet?" He whispered again, the same shock still as evident as it was last time he uttered it. He heard her chuckle.

"Yes, Jack, it's me. You're doing fine, just hang in there." He could blurrily see her pushing something into his IV and before he knew it, he was asleep again, unable to keep his eyes open for one more second.

**The next morning**

* * *

Jack awoke with a start. Sunshine appeared to be shining in on him, though he couldn't quite focus on it yet. His eyes fluttered and tried to focus. He felt a searing pain in his chest when he tried to move, and a hand was placed on his arm.

"Jack.." came the warning tone. Looking to his left, he saw her blonde hair again, this time tied up on her head. She had blood on her jeans and violet shirt, he assumed his blood, but her eyes were shining bluer than he remembered. He was lost for a moment in her eyes, trying to come to terms with how she was sitting next to him. Shock was all that coursed through his mind, reeling at seeing her. She grinned down at him and he could remember the last time he'd seen that smile. "Hi, Jack."

He cleared his throat, willing it to allow him to speak. "Hey, Juliet." It came out meek, like a whisper, but he kept trying. "How…how did I…"

"Easy, Jack," she placed her comforting hand on his left one, squeezing it. "You need to rest. You've lost a good amount of blood, and unfortunately for you, where you chose to vacation doesn't have a blood bank, so I need you to reserve as much of your energy as possible. I have you on antibiotics and electrolytes, because you're pretty dehydrated too. I don't know how you got here." The last statement was quiet, almost apologetic as she watched him digest her information.

"It is just my arm or…"

"Your arm was cut pretty deep, you probably have two broken ribs, and I'm sure you have a concussion. My medical supplies are pretty limited now, after three years, so it's hard to say for sure. But that's the basics. Your arm has about fifty stitches, and I wrapped your abdomen, I had to drain some of the blood that pooled under the skin from the bruising. You need to rest, and as soon as you can eat, I'll get you some fruit, okay?" Her voice was calm, and he had always remembered it to have a soothing quality. "Your fever seems to have gone down a little, which is a good sign." She ran her soft hand over his forehead and he closed his eyes at her touch.

"Thank you, Juliet." The words were whispers and she smiled again.

"You're welcome, Jack."

"Is Kate here?" He suddenly asked with as much urgency as he could muster. Juliet squeezed his hand again, looking down at him with sympathy.

"She was here, Jack. She, James, and Jin are out looking for you. They left early yesterday. Jin found her in the jungle, and brought her here. She's fine, save for a few bruises and a cut on her head." Jack tried to sit again, and Juliet stood to push him back down.

"Juliet, I have to go find her, please, let me—" He tried to fight off her firm hands pushing him back, but succumbed out of exhaustion and weakness.

"She'll be back soon, Jack. They didn't take much food or water because they didn't plan to be gone long. Just rest, okay? Please. I know it's hard for you, but just try." Her eyes twinkled with knowing, as she had operated on this man before. He was just as stubborn as she was and she couldn't blame him sometimes. If it were James, she would feel the same way.

"But she's okay?"

"Yes, Jack, she's fine. Compared to you, she's in great shape." He squeezed her hand this time, in thank you. She nodded the silent acknowledgement, and then reached around behind her on to a counter. "Here," she started, placing whatever was in her hand on the tray beside him, "is your ring. I had to take it off because your hands were swelling. When they're better, it's waiting for you right here." He could tell in her eyes that she knew what that thick platinum band stood for, and knew it would be important to him. He nodded slowly, again whispering a thank you. She blinked slowly, before standing. "Get some rest, Jack. I'll be back soon to check on you, so don't even think of trying to escape." She chuckled at her own remark before moving off, with one last look at him. His eyes fluttered shut, and he was grateful; he needed the sleep, he felt.

* * *

"Ugh! Where is he?" Kate hit a tree next to her out of frustration, wiping her hand then across her forehead. Sawyer sipped his water canteen, before passing it to her.

"Kate, we need to think about heading back. We've been out here a long time, and we haven't made any progress. I need to get back to Juliet, and you need to rest." Kate covered her face for a moment, and knew that, though she didn't want to admit it, he was right.

"Okay," she whispered in defeat. Staring down at her hands, he furrowed his brow.

"What, Freckles?"

"I said, okay. We can go back." She began in the direction they had just come from, and he touched her arm slightly as she walked by.

"As soon as you rest, we'll go back out." He offered, trying to comfort her. She caught his eyes, and he could see the defeat and devastation in them. She nodded, but he could tell that nod never reached her eyes. Jin led the way back to their houses, knowing a short cut through the jungle, and Kate remained silent the entire trip. Her thoughts were with him the entire time, and she couldn't help but fear that maybe he hadn't somehow ended up off the plan. Or maybe he was on the other Island, where the Hydra was. Or maybe they were just looking in the complete wrong places. Either way, her heart had sunk and she was afraid. How was she supposed to get home if she couldn't find him? And how was she to ever know if their babies were all right? She knew they were supposed to e-mail Margo as soon as they landed, and clearly, since they had not, she would be well aware that their situation had not gone as planned. Right? Kate tried to reassure herself of this, though still not sure how they'd ever find them. The whole thing seemed frustrating and unfair to her, and she struggled with her next move. She decided she would indeed rest, and then she would strike out again, alone if she had to.

* * *

It was dusk and Jack was beginning to get weary of Kate coming back. He still wasn't feeling great, and he knew Juliet would not yet allow him to go off his IV yet, since he was only just starting to feel better. His fever was gone, which was a good sign, but he was still weak, due to blood loss, and time was all that could heal that. Time and rest. Two things Jack Shephard didn't do well with.

Sitting up now, his chest was still very sore, and arm still swollen, but he was able to eat. He didn't, however, think he'd ever eat a mango again. And now, sitting here eating one, he couldn't help but feel a sense of helplessness and failure. He didn't even know where his wife was. And he hadn't had another visitor except Juliet in a whole day. What was he, in quarantine or something? All he wanted was to wake up, back home, in his own king-size bed, his wife beside him, and his two kids. A smile twitched at his lips when he thought about Brody, and how he must be giving his mother one hell a time. Not that the dog was a bad dog, but he was definitely still very young. He knew his mother would know by now they weren't in Fiji; they had never emailed her, and though he still wasn't sure how they ended up on the island, it seemed that the rest of the plane didn't crash. Or if it did, that it crashed in the ocean, because no one else here knew what they were talking about. He did not want to explain to the authorities, again, that he and Kate had survived another plane crash that no one else did. He couldn't imagine that would look well for them.

Jack heard the door to the medical house open and watched curiously as someone stepped in. He was surprised to find that it wasn't Juliet who wandered quietly in. And was more surprised when he got a good look at who it was.

"Claire?" He asked incredulously, setting his mango down. She looked worried, unsure, as she made her way to him. She offered him a small smile and sat down a few feet away from him, hugging herself.

"Hey," she offered. His eyes were wide as he took in the younger woman. They were silent for a moment, as they watched each other, as if daring the other to speak.

"How've you been?" Jack asked quietly. Claire kept her gaze mostly on her hands.

"Ehh, okay, yourself?" It was weird for Jack to sit across from her and to think back to all the times that he didn't know she was his sister. And now, to be sitting across from her, after all this time thinking she was dead and raising her son, he felt more like an older brother than he ever thought he would.

"Good," he replied, slowly, thinking of a way to tell her about their relation. She looked up at him suddenly, staring into him with her ice blue eyes.

"I know, okay?" she started, her voice still meek. He furrowed his brow and watched her curiously.

"Know what?"

"That you're my brother." A silence settled between them as Jack look on in surprise.

"How do you know that?" he asked, unsure. She shrugged.

"When I 'disappeared'," she used the word in quotations with her fingers, "the reason I left Aaron was because I saw my father—_our_ father- and I followed him. Turns out he wasn't our father at all, but that's a whole other story." She looked sad, and tired. "He told me you were my brother. He told me a lot of things over the year I spent with him. But I was brought back here when Sawyer and Jin found me in the jungle about a year ago. I've been here ever since." She paused and Jack took the opportunity to pry a little.

"Who was he?" He pressed, remembering that he had seen his father before, on the island. She shrugged again.

"I don't really want to talk about it, Jack. I just wanted you to know that I know." She took a deep breath before continuing. "And I also know about Aaron." Jack tried to hold his face stoic and not give any indication away about what that might mean.

"What about him?" Jack pressed. Claire looked up at him this time and could see anger somewhere in her slate eyes.

"That you 'rescued' him, and took him off the island with you. Everyone told me once I came back, that you guys did it because he was a baby and he deserved to be saved. And because no one could find me."

"Claire, I'm really sorry—" she cut him off, waving her hand.

"I don't want to hear your apologies, Jack. I'm sure at the time you thought it was the best decision to be made. Just know that my heart has been broken for the last three years because I don't know where he is. It hurts everyday." Jack watched her dip her head and wipe the corner of her eye before looking back at him. "Do you know where he is, Jack? Have you seen him?" She had such hope in her eyes; he didn't know how to lie to her.

"Yeah, I've seen him," he started slowly, knowing it wasn't exactly a lie.

"You have? Where is he? Is he all right? I love him so much, and I wish I'd never left him." A tear escaped her eye and Jack felt his heart break for her in a different way, a more attached way than he would have ever felt before.

"He's in Los Angeles. He's big, probably about 30 pounds. He looks just like you." As Jack paused to think of a tactful way of telling her that he and Kate had been raising the blonde child, voices outside caught their attention. They both looked toward the door and Jack could hear Sawyer's distinct drawl. It wasn't very close but he would know Sawyer's voice anywhere. Claire watched, wide-eyed, as Jack swung his legs unsteadily over the bedside.

"Jack, don't you think you should ask Juliet before you—" she watched him as he ripped the IV needle from his arm, standing, pushing through the pain in his side as he made his way as quickly as he could to the door. Claire followed, asking him repeatedly to stop, but he brushed her off. Swinging the door open, he frantically scanned the area around him, surrounded by houses, for the source of the voice. He found it; they were walking from the jungle. He saw Sawyer first and then Jin. Kate appeared behind them, her head down, her pace slow, and he immediately stepped from the porch. He couldn't see anything but her tangled curls and her angelic face.

Kate looked up quickly when she heard Juliet yelling Jack's name, and looked around her. In front of her, making his way to her, was her husband. Her heart raced as she saw him, relief and excitement covering her face. It felt like it had been months since she had seen his face, yet it had only been two whole days. She picked up her pace, dropping her pack, tears burning her eyes. She felt her exhaustion lift from her shoulders as he smiled at her, watching her run to him. Tears stained her cheeks as she reached him, grabbing his face first and then throwing her arms around him, sobbing into his shoulder.

"Easy, easy, my chest…" he tried to speak, his voice thick with emotion as she gripped him tightly, his uninjured arm wrapped tightly around her waist.

"I couldn't find you, I couldn't find you!" Kate sobbed into him.

"Shh, it's okay, baby. It's okay," he tried to comfort her, his own emotion welling up. She leaned back, taking in his face, scuffed up and bruised, as he assessed her head wound and took in her tears. He brushed them away, dropping his head and taking her lips in his, comforting her, tasting the salt of her love for him and fear of loss on her lips. She kissed him back fiercely, pulling him closer. He sucked in his breathe in pain and she released him, suddenly very concerned.

"Jack! Are you all right?" She searched his pain-ridden face for reassurance and found none. He attempted a smile.

"Oh it's nothing," he tried to joke, but was unable. Jin and Sawyer reached them from her direction and Juliet reached them from Jack's.

"Jack, you need to go back and lie down. Your arm is bleeding from where you pulled out that IV and you can't afford to lose any more blood." Juliet touched his uninjured arm gently, pulling him. "Please, come with me." She looked up at Kate, who was confused and concerned, looking over her husband's bandaged arm and half-buttoned shirt, noticing some of the bandage covering his chest. Jack felt himself being pulled by Juliet as she began taking him back where he had come from. Kate followed, hurrying behind them, asking Juliet questions about Jack's health.

"I'm fine, Kate," he tried to speak over Juliet but she shook her head, silencing him.

"Yes, he is fine, but he needs to rest," she explained everything she had previously told Jack. Kate took in every word and helped her lay Jack back down on his bed. Jack made a mental note to tell Kate about Claire when they were alone. He also wondered if Kate had told Sawyer and Jin the truth of why they never came back for them and that the whole world thought they were dead.

Kate watched as Juliet put Jack's IV back in on his opposite arm, bandaging up the one he had tore the IV from. "You're running out of veins for me to use, to I suggest you leave this IV in until further notice." She cracked a smile at Kate and then patted Jack's jeaned thigh. "I'll leave you two alone, I'll be back in a bit to check on you." Juliet gave a smile to the couple before exiting the infirmary. Jack gripped Kate's had as she sat beside him in a chair.

"Is this all from…whatever happened to us?" Kate asked quietly, still surprised by all of Jack's injuries. He nodded, shrugging.

"I guess. I don't know what happened. There was a bright light and then…" he drifted off, unable to put what happened into words. Kate nodded, understanding.

"Well, at least you're alive. We searched everywhere for you. I was so worried I wouldn't find you…or.." she couldn't bring herself to say it. "How did you get here?"

"I was looking for you and found the houses. You?"

"Jin came upon me in the jungle and brought me back here. Juliet fixed up my head and then I made Jin and Sawyer help me look for you."

"Did you tell them?" Jack's voice was quiet. She shook her head.

"I didn't, I wanted you to be there. I did tell them we were married though. And Jin knows we were going to Fiji on our honeymoon. They don't know about the babies though. " Kate looked down awkwardly and then back up at Jack, with tears in here green eyes. "Jack….what about the babies?"

"Kate, they're safe with my mom. They'll figure out something happened. She'll call someone. It'll be fine." He rubbed the back of her hand, no totally believing his own words. He still hadn't been able to hatch a plan. He still didn't even know how they had ended up there in the first place. A solitary tear ran down her cheek.

"Am I going to go to jail?" She whispered, the fear evident in her meek voice. Jack took in her exhausted, teary features.

"We'll cross that bridge when we get to it. We need to figure out what happened to the plane and then we'll go from there."

"Okay." She looked down at their interlocked hands for a moment and then back up at his bruised face. "I love you," she whispered. He gave her a small smile, squeezing her hand.

"I love _you_."

* * *

_This chapter beat me up and did not want to be written. Please review…I hope it's not terrible and I hope you guys liked it. I intended for it to be longer but I just couldn't get it to go the way I wanted. I have LOTS more to cover though, so don't get discouraged. I don't usually leave previews for the next chapter but because I want you all to stay interested, here's what's coming next.._

_And interesting conversation between Claire and Kate…_

_And interesting conversation between Sawyer and Jack…._

_Some delicious Jateness…_

_And some other super things. There are lots of things Jack and Kate need to tell the rest of the camp. That should also be an interesting conversation…_

_And maybe Margo will be involved somewhere..I mean, Jack is her son...*myschevious laugh*_

_I have a Missing Piece coming before Friday as well. I will be out of town from Friday til Wednesday but you can expect an update by 2/6. At least a Missing Piece anyway, idea courtesy of lostbeth. _

_Again, thank you for all your reviews, in advance and always. :-D And thank you for your patience. _


	45. Chapter 44

Chapter 44

_Wow! Sorry it took me so long to get this out! It's been crazy busy lately and with sickness and such, I haven't had much time. I'm pretty excited about this chapter though, and I think you will enjoy it as it is long and wonderful. Thank you all for your patience. Enjoy this chapter._

_And thank you, as always, for all your amazing, inspiring reviews. I know you don't have to review, but I want you to know I appreciate each and every one even though I may not have time always to reply. Know I love them, appreciate them, and I wouldn't be continuing this without them. You all are so wonderful. Thank you. _

_Also, please check out my newest Missing Scene 'The Red Strokes'. I'm pretty proud of it. Just a fluff piece. __**hint hint go read lol**__ Let me know your thoughts. I'm working on a tattoo related one next, I think. _

_I'm chatty sometimes before these chapters. Sorry bout that. Remember to check out the facebook. If you all would prefer, I could make a tumblr instead….let me know your thoughts. _

_Also, check out __.com/__ Good Fanfics and a great site for fanfics. Post yours! :-D_

_All right, enough chatter._

_Disclaimer: I own nothing. Not Lost, not Jack, Kate, Claire, Sawyer, Juliet, Aaron, none of them. I do however own Adam (yay Jaby!) :-P _

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_Flashback_

_"Hey Jack, there's something I've been meaning to tell you." She started slowly, making it up as she went. He looked at her as she stopped walking, dropping her shoes in the sand._

_"Sure, what's up?" He rubbed her arms against the slight wind, curious about what she had to say._

_"Well, I'm not sure exactly how to say it, but please bear with me." She shifted uncomfortably in the sand._

_"It can't be that bad, Katie, just tell me," he chuckled, wondering what she was so worked up about. He could feel the goosebumps under his hands on her arms. She looked up at him in his eyes, hoping the unsureness she felt wasn't showing through her own. He registered fear on her face. He felt concern suddenly._

_"I'm pregnant." There. She said it. And it actually wasn't as bad as she had thought it would be to say it. He was silent for a moment before responding._

_"What?" he managed out, not finding any other words._

_"Jack, I'm pregnant. You're going to be a father. A real one." She said it slowly, praying for a good reaction. It was dark out on the beach, but she felt like the only reaction she had seen that crossed his face so far was shock._

_"You're pregnant?" his eyes flickered to her stomach and back to her eyes. "How far along?" he questioned, unsure._

_"Thirteen weeks. I found out a few weeks ago but was waiting for the right moment to tell you." She again felt ashamed._

_"And you're sure?" He probed farther, adjusting to the feeling._

_"Yeah, I saw a doctor and she confirmed it. I was going to tell you but then you told me about your meetings and I knew you were under a lot of pressure and I didn't want to add to it." She reached into her purse and pulled out the ultrasound picture, using her cellphone as a light. She had circled the little being with a marker to make it easier for him to see. "See? It's right there." She pointed with her finger as he held the picture. "Remember when I was sick? That's what it was. I was having morning sickness." He felt stupid, not having realized that himself, the doctor he was. He starred at the picture._

_"That's our baby?" She was worried as he seemed to be having trouble grasping the concept._

_"Yes, our baby. You're going to be a dad." She said it gently, urging him to give her a concrete response. He went silent again, and when he looked up at her, she saw tears in his eyes._

_"Really?" At that she sighed and laughed softly, tears building in her own eyes._

_"Yes, Jack, really." He took one hand off the picture and touched her stomach, as if he needed more proof, though it was still flat. "She said I should start showing soon. I'm sorry I didn't tell you earlier, I just-" He cut her off, placing a hand behind her back and pulling her into a tight hug. She took the minute to regain herself and take in his cologne. When he finally pulled back he had tears streaming and he seemed to be trying to keep himself together. She wiped his tears, her own spilling over._

_"You are going to be the most beautiful pregnant woman." He smiled at her and at that moment she knew he accepted it, that he was afraid too, but happy. Just like she had hoped he would be, and how Margo assured her he would be._

_"Oh Jack," he placed his forehead against her's and they remained that way for a few moments, as if regaining themselves._

_"I can't believe it," he spoke quietly, then laughing. "We really don't do anything the conventional way, do we?"_

_"Look how and where we met Jack, what do you expect?" They both laughed._

_"But how?"_

_"I'm not sure, maybe it was just meant to be." she shrugged and he kissed her forehead._

_"Maybe it was," he chuckled. "I never saw myself as a man of Faith."_

_"Well, there's no better time to start." They shared a passionate kiss, their tears drying and the feeling settling in that they were going to be parents to their first biological child._

_He wrapped an arm around her, sliding the picture into his coat pocket. Picking up her shoes, they began walking back toward their car. "I can't wait to tell Aaron," he sighed happily._

_"Are you really happy? Like really?" He stopped abruptly at her questions, turning again to face her, placing his hands on the side of her face._

_"Kate, how could I not be happy? We're going to have a baby. I love you so much, there is no one else I could ever be with. Of course I'm happy!" he kissed her again, as if to seal his words._

_"Are you afraid or at least a little-"_

_"Of course I'm afraid! But we've had Aaron this long and he seems relatively normal," he lightened the mood with a joking laugh ,"we'll cross those bridges when we get to them, okay? Don't worry, everything is great! I'm thrilled!" She sighed in relief, feeling all her anxiety fade away like the waves on the shore._

_"Okay. Good." They began walking again, Kate enjoying the sand over her feet._

_"What do you take me for, anyway?" He jested, bumping her hip playfully with his own._

_"Well, you know how you can be, " she spoke honestly but with a laugh. He pulled away in mock anger._

_"How I can be? How is that?" she skittered away, laughing as she playfully ran away from him down the beach, him running after her, taunting her. They laughed into the night, as he grabbed her, spinning her around, her hair caressing him softly as they played._

_End Flashback_

Jack woke to stifled sounds of sniffling. He became aware Kate was no longer beside him, and opened his eyes wider, searching for her. He didn't have to search far, she was on the edge of his medical bed, her back to him. He could tell even in the darkness that she was crying, and his heart went out to her. He shifted his weight to reach out and touch her, but she felt him move first, immediately wiping her eyes and looking back at him.

"Hey," she whispered. His eyes were sympathetic as he motioned for her to move closer. When she was beside him, he grasped her hand tightly, and he could feel a dampness on her skin from her tears.

"Are you okay?" He asked gently, knowing the answer. She shook her head slowly, her eyes dropping and a few tears cascading down her cheeks. He thought back for a moment, to the first Island Kate he had known, and found it endearing, the change in her.

"No," her voice came out as a weak sob and he reached up with his free arm and wiped her tears with his fingertips.

"It'll…it'll be okay, Kate. I promise," he was devastated by the fact he was injured and could barely get out of bed when he needed to be rescuing his wife and getting them home to their babies. He knew that was why she was crying.

"I miss the kids so much. I knew I would miss them, but at least if we were in Fiji I could call them, but here…" more tears fell down her already flushed cheeks, "I feel so helpless, Jack. I don't know what to do." She took her hand from his, covering her face and sobbed into it, breaking his heart. He rubbed her jeaned thigh.

"Kate, we'll find a way out of this. I promise. I can fix this, I can." He searched her face when she raised her eyes to meet his, and he found the same amount of apprehension he felt displayed on her face.

"How?"

"I don't know yet, but there's got to be some way of this Island—" his words struck a nerve and another sob escaped her throat as she stood, pacing away from him.

"I already did this once, Jack. Why do we have to do this again? We talked about this, remember? Not coming back here? I meant what I said—"

"Kate, this isn't my fault," Jack defended, suddenly feeling as though she was blaming him for this unfortunate accident.

"I know it's not but that doesn't mean it's not fair. I'm so frustrated and I feel so helpless. We were here for over 3 months last time. I can't do that again, not with the children at home. I spend every minute of my life with them; it's killing me we can't get back. Not to mention I broke your deal with the state. I'm going to go back to jail—" he interrupted her. He had to. She was ranting unlike he'd ever seen her; she never gave up hope, that wasn't her style. Why should she start now?

"Kate, calm down. The kids are fine. It's only been two full days. If something happened to the plane and we ended up here that way, that's not your fault and they will not take you back to jail, understand? You're getting ahead of yourself." he motioned to her to come back to the bed, patting the open spot by his hip. She sniffled as she walked to him, sitting beside him, pulling her knees to her chest, and wrapping her arms around them, as if in protection of herself. "I will fix this, Kate. I will get you back home to the children, okay? I promise you that." He hoped it was a promise he could keep. He couldn't break her heart again, not this way. She nodded slowly, as if forcing herself to put faith in his words.

"I want our normal life back. We were going on our honeymoon. We live in a beautiful house in LA. We overcame this whole thing." Jack placed a finger under her chin, feeling her tears, and raised her face to catch his eyes.

"I know you do, I do too. And we did this once, we can do it again. I just need you to hold it together for me, okay?" He flashed her a grin, however meek it was and she met him with a faint one in return. "Are you with me in this?" He squeezed her hands at the familiar words, hoping it brewed some kind, any kind, of determination within her. Her eyes were still sad, a few tears still escaping as she sniffled again. He poked her playfully in her side when she didn't respond right away, and she let out a small smile, and he felt his faith in her growing.

"I'm with you, yes."

"Okay, good. That's what I want to hear. Now lay down and get some rest. You're gonna have a headache in the morning if you don't get some sleep. And we have too much to do to be dealing with a headache." He spoke the words playfully, trying to boost her morale. He felt all the same things she did, dying for some semblance of their normal life, and wishing for their king size bed instead of this twin medical one. He also didn't know how long she'd last here this time if her spirits stayed down. He needed her to help him fight. They had a lot of explaining to do before they would be able to convince everyone to help them, and he would need her behind him. He pulled her close to him, sucking in a silent breath at a slight twinge in pain from his side as she curled up to him, her head on his shoulder. He kissed her forehead and whispered loving words to her while she drifted off to sleep, and his heart went out to her for her puffy eyes and swollen cheeks. It had been a long time since she'd lived in survival mode, and he just had to hope she had it somewhere within her. He needed the old Kate back for a little bit, for as long as it took them to get home.

Kate opened the door to the medical unit and sighed at the sight of the jungle and the sunshine. People were all around, walking and talking, only a few slowing their steps to catch sight of Kate descending from the stairs of the building to find her and Jack some food and water. The sun was bright against her face made her squint her eyes and she hoped her sunglasses went undamaged in her pack. Wandering, Kate wasn't sure exactly where to look for sustenance and instead found Sawyer lounging on his porch, a mug in hand and a book in the other. He flashed her his trademark grin.

"Morning, Freckles," he offered. She smiled, placing her hands in the back pockets of her torn jeans.

"Good morning, James." Just as she leaned against the post, Juliet opened the door to the house, coming out onto the porch, also carrying a mug. She smiled at Kate.

"Hey, Kate. I was just coming to check on you and Jack. How is he?" Juliet stepped down the porch stairs and Sawyer watched as his present and some-what past interacted. Kate shrugged.

"He seems okay. Still sore and stuff but okay. I was just going to get us some food. Where would I find…" she drifted off as Sawyer stood.

"Jules, if you wanna take Kate to get breakfast, I'll go check on the Doc." He gave Juliet a look and Juliet paused before nodding. Kate looked between them, unsure.

"Okay. Sure. Kate, I'll take you to get some fruit and water for Jack. I can get you a cup of coffee too, if you'd like." Sawyer watched them begin walking away toward the main gathering house where they stored their food and water supply.

"You have coffee here?" He heard Kate ask, followed by Juliet's sweet laugh.

"Yeah, when all the Others left, they left everything. So we salvaged what was left and coffee was one of those things."

"Even after three years?"

"Not everyone is drinking it. And we ration it pretty well. " Sawyer watched them walk away before heading to the medical building, eagerly looking for some answers so some questions he had. Tentatively he opened the door to the unit, and found Jack sitting up in bed, with what looked like a photo album in his good hand. Jack put it down quickly though, upon seeing Sawyer, and greeted him with a small grin.

"Sawyer."

"Doc." Sawyer paced for a moment before taking a seat in the chair next to the bed, looking at Jack expectantly. Jack raised his eyebrows.

"What can I do for you?" Jack asked curiously, sliding the photo album off to the side of his thigh, so it laid on the bed out of view. This wasn't lost on Sawyer, however.

"How ya been?" Sawyer began. Jack eyed him curiously still, but spoke cordially.

"Good. You?"

"Good." There was a long pause, each man watching the other, before Sawyer spoke again. "I don't know what you're back here for, but we've all been good. We don't need rescuing." Jack wasn't following at first, watching Sawyer, unsure, before he realized something.

"Rescuing?" He asked, trying to get sawyer to speak further.

"Yeah. If that's what you're back for, we don't need it."

"Sawyer, we didn't mean to come back here." Jack stated simply. Sawyer's face fell a little, his defense not to concrete now. He coughed.

"Well, then, why are you here?"

"We were going to Fiji for our honeymoon. "

"I know that. But we both know you said you'd come back and rescue us. I thought it would have been sooner than now but none-the-less, we don't need rescuing. We've been fine for the last three years."

"James, I—"

"We've made a life here. And I'm not letting anything get in the way of that." Sawyer was fierce, his look spot-on and angry, and Jack felt taken aback. He put his hands up in defense.

"James, we're not taking you anywhere you don't want to go. We didn't mean to end up here and my biggest priority right now is getting Kate home." Sawyer seemed to digest this information and Jack watched as his face eased. He was silent for a moment before he nodded, seeming to accept the information. Jack wasn't sure if Sawyer had been looking for a fight, or for the assurance that he really didn't want to be rescued.

"So you married her?" Sawyer spoke, eyeing Jack from his spot by the bed. Jack kept his eyes level with the blonde man, almost in defiance.

"Yeah, I did. We dated for a while before I proposed. We've been married almost 8 months." Sawyer seemed to digest the information before continuing.

"Why didn't you go on a honeymoon after your wedding? January would be a great time to get away," Sawyer didn't seem to accept that Jack didn't have alterier motives. Jack sighed.

"Kate was pregnant. We had to wait until the baby was old enough." This got Sawyer's attention, and for the first time since their conversation began, he seemed to be thinking clearly, and only about Jack's words, not implications. And also realizing that they had a life somewhere else, and that they had no intention of coming back.

"Pregnant? Kate had a baby?" His voice sounded of shock, like he was taken aback by the news. Jack nodded, a proud smile playing at his lips. He pulled open the photo album to a picture of Kate and Adam at the hospital, showing the page to Sawyer. "His name is Adam. He was born a month premature after Kate was in a car accident." Sawyer stared at the picture with wide eyes, taking in Kate's flushed face and tired eyes, and the small bundle of blue she held in her arms, the baby's skin tan against the light fabric. He was asleep when Jack had snapped the picture.

"I bet you delivered him yourself, didn't ya, Doc." Saywer quipped jokingly, more of a statement than a question. Jack smirked proudly.

"I did actually, yeah. We almost lost Kate though, it was pretty close." His mind drifted to those memories and he thanked a higher power she was fine. "Anyway, that's why we didn't go sooner."

"Sounds like you've been busy." Sawyer watched as Jack closed the book, careful not to display any other pictures, since several in the album contained Aaron. He wasn't sure he wanted Sawyer to know first, figuring he'd want to tell Claire first, out of respect for her, even though part of him didn't want her to know. He knew he had to tell her though, or Kate did. She deserved to know. "Have you seen Aaron?" Jack felt as though Sawyer had read his mind.

"Yeah, we see him. He's good." Jack kept his guard up, trying to act casual. Sawyer gave him a hard look, as if not believing him before his face changed.

"That's good," was all he said. Jack cleared his throat.

"Anything else I can help you with?" Sawyer was silent a moment, before catching Jack's eyes.

"I just have one question." He cleared his throat. "Were you ever going to come back for the rest of us?"

It was Jack's turn to be silent as he took in the question, unsure of exactly what his answer should be. He cleared his throat and looked down, unsure. When he decided what he would say, he looked back and caught Sawyer's eyes. "We were going to come back. But then the island disappeared in a bright flash, and we no longer were sure where it was. And when we arrived back in the States, they held a huge press conference and we all decided it would be better if we didn't tell the whole story, since when you think about all that happened to us, not everything we went through makes a whole hell of a lot of sense. And unfortunately not many would believe us. And we didn't want to endanger anyone we left behind." Jack wasn't sure he believed his own resolution, but hoped Sawyer would, for the sake of the truth that laid somewhere jumbled in the story he had just told Sawyer. Jack also felt like his story was a cop-out, since he had thought about coming back several times—it had haunted him for a long while, I fact—and had simply pushed the thoughts aside to move on in his present life with Kate and their family. He felt bad now, though, since they had never come back.

"Well, we didn't need rescuin' anyway, so it doesn't matter." Sawyer seemed to put the argument to rest, not willing to think about it anymore. "Juliet and I have started a fine life together." Jack nodded at his words, understanding, and honestly, happy for the other man. There was a small part of him somewhere inside that was happy about it for selfish reasons, however.

"You two are.."

"Yeah, we have been a while now. I'm happy. She's a good girl." And she was, sawyer meant every word. She was no Kate, but she was a very good catch.

"That's great. I'm happy for you." Jack offered him a genuine smile, and Sawyer smiled back.

"So what's it like these days, the real world? Any big changes?" Just as the words left Sawyer's mouth, the door opened and a laughing Juliet entered, followed by a smiling Kate. The men looked up to their women, who greeted them with smiles and food. Juliet sat beside Sawyer as Kate climbed onto Jack's bed, sitting cross-legged beside him, offering him the fruit she had some back with. It was interesting, Kate decided, that they were sitting here together, back on the island, in the Others' village, enjoying breakfast. Enjoying was a strong word, but she loved her husband very much, so she was indeed enjoying his company, now that he was safe and sound. In the early morning light, his color looked better than yesterday, and as Juliet checked his vitals (while Jack scoffed about the need to be taken care of), he seemed to be doing better. Juliet decided to take him off the IV, since they needed to ration it, and he'd had twenty-four good hours of strong antibiotics. Kate knew Jack was very healthy, generally speaking, so she wasn't too worried about his well-being, though she did wish that they were back home at a real hospital. She scolded herself for wishing that, knowing there was nothing she could about that right now. All she could do was help Jack get better so they could figure out a way off the island.

"Jack, when you feel up to it, you can go outside if you like and walk around. Stretching your legs and getting some sun would be good for you, I think." They were all avoiding the inevitable question about what to do about their predicament.

"Great. Thanks again, Juliet." Jack gave her a kind smile. He'd always been fond of her, even liked her at one point, and could definitely have seen himself with her. But he was, and always had been, in love with Kate. And they had all known that.

"No problem. I just hope you don't fall out of any more planes." Juliet grinned, knowing she was kidding, but yet, she felt serious because it was true. No one wanted that. And she honestly wasn't sure she wanted them here in the first place. Though being Jack's doctor wasn't such a bad thing, he was even more handsome now than he had been three years ago. His hair was a little longer and he was leaner, she could tell he's been working out, especially when she had to drain his chest cavity. Strong muscle lay under those lean abs, and she couldn't complain about having to look at them for a few hours while she treated them. He was built different than he current love, and there was nothing against eye candy, she decided.

"These two have a bouncing baby boy back home, did you know that, Juliet?" Sawyer suddenly spoke, surprising both Kate and Juliet. Kate's eyes were wide as they flitted to Jack who squeezed her hand reassuringly. Juliet look between the couple and Sawyer and took a seat, her face a little bit of 'aww' and intrigue.

"Really?" She responded, looking to the couple before her for verification. Kate's cheeks were pink as Jack, again, opened to the page in the album and handed the book to Juliet.

"That's Adam. He's 5 months old." Her face was in shock as she looked at the picture and back up at Kate and then back at the picture.

"He's beautiful."

"Jack delivered him himself. You would have been proud," Kate teased as she squeezed Jack's hand. Juliet took in the sight and then looked back at Kate.

"Congratulations. That's wonderful." Jack reached for the book, but before he could get it from her, she flipped a few pages, landing on another one of Kate and the baby, and another boy, a blonde-haired one. Sawyer and Juliet peered at the picture together, and Kate held her breath, wishing she could simply rip the book from Juliet's hands. Jack saw her wide eyes and willed her to act normal, trying to assimilate a lie in his head fast enough before they made the connection. Juliet flipped a few more pages, pictures of the baby at their house, laying with a sleeping, bare-chested Jack, with Kate in bed, and again with the blonde-haired, in the same bed, this time with Jack and Adam. Juliet looked up with her questioning eyes and Jack begged his mind for a lie. "Who's this little cutie?"

Jack's mouth didn't move fast enough and Sawyer spoke first. "Wait…" The three of them looked to Sawyer as he looked up at Kate directly. Her eyes were wide and he knew his answer. "Is that Aaron?" His words came out at almost a whisper, accusing, and Kate jumped to her defense.

"I couldn't lose him, James, not after losing everyone else." Her words were venom in his direction and Jack gripped her arm gently, warning her.

"You kept him?" Now there was shock evident in his voice.

"He's my nephew, Sawyer. " Jack spoke in a warning tone, making Sawyer's eyes grow wider. Juliet watched whole exchange with an even keel, somehow seeming to understand where Kate was coming from.

"Your nephew? What the hell are you—"

"Claire is my half-sister. My dad had another family in Australia. I found out at his memorial. Kate kept Aaron so we would all stay together on the mainland and he couldn't get lost at some foster home or worse." He was defensive now, and Kate felt like she used to when the two men who go at each other. Sawyer stood, pacing for a moment.

"So you didn't know the whole time you were here before that she was your sister?" He asked incredulously. Jack shook his head.

"No, I had no idea. She knows now too, though. Someone here told her."

"Who?"

"I don't know, she said she didn't want to talk about it." Kate looked at Jack, surprised and he shrugged, shaking his head, indicating that was a conversation for later. Kate looked back to Sawyer, who was still pacing.

"Does she know about Aaron?" Sawyer asked quietly. Jack shook his head.

"No, she doesn't. And I appreciate it if you'd let us tell her. I was going to tell her yesterday but I didn't get a chance."

"Well you had better tell her soon. She was not well when she got back here and it's best we get everything out in the open before someone else finds out and tells her. Then she'll be really pissed." Sawyer stated, running a hand through his long, blonde locks.

"James' is right, you should tell her soon. I'll go with you, Kate, if you like. She might take it better if someone else is with her. But you should tell her soon." Kate nodded, looking at Jack. The photo album lay open in Juliet's lap, a picture of her, Adam, and Aaron displayed to them all to see. She couldn't bare the thought of giving Aaron back to Claire; how would they explain this all to a four year old? Her heart suddenly hurt and she found it hard to breathe.

"We will. Just give us a little bit of time, we'll tell her." Jack bargained. Juliet and Sawyer nodded, before Juliet looked back down at the pictures. When they stood, Juliet handed the book back to Kate with a gentle smile.

"I'm sure this is very hard for you. If you want to talk, you know where I am." Kate gave her a kind smile back and accepted the album. "You're very lucky, Kate. Congratulations, again." Kate nodded her acceptance.

"Thank you." She watched the blonde woman give her almost a sad smile before she turned and walked out, Sawyer not far behind. He stopped at the door, looking back at Jack.

"You'll need to tell everyone else why you didn't come back too. They may not care, just like I don't, but they deserve to know." Jack nodded, in an almost defeated motion, and Sawyer left, shutting the door behind them. When Jack looked back at Kate, it was clear she was troubled. She wasted no time in telling him why.

"Jack, I can't lose him. I can't." She stated defiantly. Jack placed his hands on her shoulders.

"Kate, no one is taking anyone anywhere. But we have to tell her. He is her son and she is my sister. We'll tell her, okay? When you're ready." Kate nodded meekly, unsure if she would ever be ready.

"When did you talk to her?" Kate asked quietly. Jack responded back in the same tone, comfortingly rubbing her leg with his hand.

"Yesterday, right before you came back. I cut our conversation short when I heard you were back."

"What did you talk about?"

"Just that she was my sister. And she asked me about Aaron, but I didn't want to tell her before you were with me."

"But you just said—"

"I know, but the truth is I wanted you to be there. You raised him more than I did. She deserves to hear it from you." She knew he was right but she was afraid of what that would mean. She didn't want to lose her first son. She loved him so much. She didn't even know how she'd explain to him that she wasn't his real mother. It would kill her; she was convinced. "It'll be okay Kate." She stood abruptly.

"I'm going to go for a walk. Will you be okay for a bit." She was shutting him out, he knew it. And he was not happy about the transformation. He nodded unhappily.

"Why don't you let me go with you?" He struggled to swing his legs over the side of the bed and she shook her head.

"I think you should rest some more. Maybe try to come up with a plan on what we should do." She moved away from him and he sighed. He knew she needed her time, but he needed her and was worried about her out there, in the jungle.

"Kate," she paused to turn and look at him, and he saw her sad eyes.

"Please, just don't go far, okay?" he pleaded. She nodded, giving him a small, but hopeful smile.

"I won't." She pushed open the door and he called out one last time. She turned again.

"It'll all be okay. I promise." She nodded. "Love you." His voice was low and she felt a redness creep into her cheeks.

"Love you too," she responded, before letting the door swing shut. He knew he had a long few days ahead of him. He ran a hand through his longish hair and sighed again. Looking to the ceiling, he blinked back tears of pain and frustration. He wanted to go home, too. Badly.

* * *

_There you go guys! I know I didn't get to the Claire/Kate convo but it's coming next, along with some other stuff. Anybody have any insight about Juliet and what her deal is? Muhahaha I'm pretty excited about the things I have coming. I'll give another preview, but don't get used to this because I generally like these chapters to be a surprise ;-)_

_The conversation between Claire and Kate…. (yikes)_

_Jack and Kate tell the group why they never came back_

_Some Jateness_

_Maybe we'll find out Juliet's issue..._

_And maybe the Margo stuff will find its way into the next chapter…all depends on how the rest plays out. _

_Mwhahaha I'm excited! I'll update sooner than last time, promise! :-D_

_Okay...you know what to do...REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW :-P I thank you in advance!_


	46. Chapter 45

Chapter 45

*There is a controversial topic in this chapter...just be aware. No views or opinions are meant for being offensive, and I'm not saying they are or are not my views. It just seemed to roll well with what I have going here. Please do not be offended, I do not mean it as such. Thanks*

Disclaimer- I do not own LOST or any of the characters. This is just a fan story because I heart them. :-) Adam and Brody, however, do belong to me :-D

* * *

_Day 3 _(we need to keep track of the days…that's important..hehehe)

Kate's sobs were quiet against the wind and the leaves. Her heart broke more with every rack of her shoulders as she cried. She had long since left the compound, wandering until she was sure she was alone. She didn't want anyone to see her tears, not even Jack. She was devastated by their plight and by thoughts of having to part with Aaron.

As she cried, she couldn't bare the thought of having to give Aaron back. She knew it was the 'right' thing to do, to tell Claire and to give her baby back, but he had become Kate's. She felt he was hers, heart and soul, and had no idea how she'd explain to him that it wasn't true. He didn't know any different. He knew Jack wasn't his real father, but he had no idea he didn't come from Kate. And they protected him from that. And now, she was just supposed to give him back?

She knew she had Adam, and that she should be happy because he was her biological son and no one could take him from her, but instead it made her even sadder. Aaron loved his little brother. As far as he was concerned, the child was his biological brother. Trying to think of ways to explain all this to a four year old gave Kate a headache, not to mention the headache she had from sobbing uncontrollably and the heartache she had from dreading the conversation she had to have with Claire and the thought of parting with the young child.

Kate's thoughts, and cries, were interrupted but the sound of a cracking branch and the movement of bushes. She hitched her breath, and tried to wipe her face, figuring it was Jack. But when the blonde head appeared through the green of the jungle, Kate knew exactly who had followed her out into the wilderness.

"Kate…hey," came Claire's meek, unsure voice. Kate rapidly wiped her tears and look up at the young woman with sad eyes.

"Hey," she responded, watching Claire take a seat in front of her. Kate pulled her knees to her chest and wrapped her arms around them. Claire watched her shift and then looked up, locking eyes with the puffy-eyed brunette.

"I wanted to talk to you about something…are you okay?" Claire asked, noticing Kate's condition. Kate nodded, despite her true feelings.

"Yeah, I'm fine. What's up?" She sniffled a little, but tried to focus on Claire. Somehow she knew what she was about to say.

"Umm…Jack mentioned that you guys had seen Aaron, since you brought him back…," she took a moment, gathering her thoughts, and Kate watched, terrified, not sure how she was supposed to lie, since it had been so long since she had lied about anything. "I wanted to know how he was, like, where he's living and stuff," her voice was soft as she asked the unspoken question and Kate looked away for a moment, gathering her own thoughts before she responded. She knew she needed to tell her the truth but she wasn't ready and wasn't sure what Claire's response would be.

"He's good," Kate began, unsure how to start the conversation. Claire looked expectantly at Kate, knowing there was more to tell. "He'll be four this coming November, as you know. He's big, and looks just like you." Kate bit back a sob, and wished for her eyes not to tear up. Being faced with the possibility of losing a child was not doing her any emotional good, and coupled with being back here on unchosen terms, Kate wasn't sure she could hold it together.

"Jack said the same thing. How is he though, Kate? Like really. Does he," she paused, unsure, "does he know I exist, you think?" She was talking to Kate as a friend, not as if she was the woman who raised her child and Kate was torn between telling her the truth or making up some lie to cover up the whole thing.

"Listen, I know you were going to give him up for adoption before you had him and—" Claire interrupted her at the thought.

"You didn't, did you, Kate? You didn't give him to someone you didn't know, did you?" Her voice was desperate; desperate for some semblance of hope that her son had not been tossed away to some foster home somewhere. Kate stared at the ground, trying to determine what the right answer was.

"Claire, if I tell you where he is…please don't get upset, okay?" Kate started nervously. She bit her lip and hugged her legs tighter, trying to figure out how to say it easily. Claire regarded Kate for a moment before nodding slowly.

"Sure…" she slipped out, leaning forward a little, in unsure anticipation. Kate chewed at her fingernail for a moment before meeting Claire's eyes.

"Claire," she began," I kept him. I couldn't bare the thought of losing him like we'd lost so many others, including you." She watched for Claire's expression to change, and when it didn't, she continued. "You have to understand, Claire, I couldn't bare to lose him. It felt like the right thing to do at the time."

"You raised him?" Claire repeated, her voice suggesting her agitation and her confusion. Kate contemplated her answer.

"Yes." She decided on honesty. "I did. I've treated him as though he was my own son. I didn't want to lose him. And after you disappeared, we didn't know if you were alive or dead. So I kept him with me because I felt like it was the right thing to do. And then Jack and I got married and—"

"You're married?" this came out as surprise as Claire tried to grasp the concept. Kate nodded and a small smile covered her lips.

"Yeah, we got married in January. I was about three months along with our son Adam." At the confession of her secret to Claire, Kate felt a hole somehow open in her heart. "Aaron's wonderful, Claire. He's a sweet, caring, loving child and he has so much life in him. I couldn't part with him and you have to understand that I did half of that for you."

"And the other half for you." Claire's eyes were heated as she stared the brunette down.

"You have to understand, we never intended to leave without you. I felt—still feel, terrible about everything that happened." A tear slid down Kate's cheek as the younger woman before her turned red with anger. Kate knew that was bound to happen, she would be angry if someone else raised Adam, but Kate also know there were worse things that could have happened. Claire stood and Kate followed hastily, not willing to be pushed away now, not after her confession.

"Kate, I just can't—you took him away from me!"

"No, Claire, I kept him safe. He couldn't stay here! He was a baby!" Kate defended her decision gently, trying to make Claire understand. Claire stared at Kate, upset and angry, her own tears bubbling over.

"How come no one told me this?"

"Because no one knew. I didn't decide to keep him until after we got rescued. And then we found out Jack was your brother and why wouldn't you want family to raise him? It just seemed to make—"

"None of this makes sense! Nothing here ever makes sense!" She yelled at Kate, her exasperation apparent. Kate reached for her arm, trying to comfort the woman but she pulled away, pointing. "Don't you _dare_ touch me. You took him from me…you took him from me," she repeated the phrase as she back away from Kate, who was now desperate for Claire's acceptance of the situation.

"Claire, please…" Kate stepped forward again, but Claire just shook her head.

"Don't, Kate. Just don't." Claire turned and darted away and Kate stood, shaking, more tears sliding down her face. She had not wanted Claire to react this way. But really, how was she supposed to react? Being a mother now, Kate knew how she would feel. She watched Claire run away and felt another piece of her heartbreak.

* * *

Jack wandered aimlessly around the compound, slowly, each step causing a slight course of pain through his body. His ribs were very sore and his arm was still tender. Sliding gently on to a bench, Jack rested, taking in the people around him going on about their day, and his thoughts drifted to his wife, whom he hadn't seen since earlier that morning.

He knew she'd have a tough time dealing with the Aaron situation. How could she not? She had been taking care of him since he was two months old. He had grown up with her, and she was all he knew as a mother. Even Jack knew he couldn't compare to Kate in the child's eyes. Jack worried for what would happen with Kate told Claire the truth. He hoped he would do it with him there, maybe that would ease the pain since he and Claire were siblings and he and Kate were married. Common ground almost, he decided.

He hoped she'd come back soon. He was growing impatient and frustrated at being the patient and being in too much pain to do much about their predicament. He wanted a plan, wanted to figure out their best way off the Island, but he was coming up with dead ends, knowing that the last time they were here it took them 3 months to escape, and even then it wasn't without consequences. He had done it with stitches in his abdomen that time too, but now broken ribs and an injured arm. He wasn't sure he even had the energy to try.

Jack ran an exasperated hand over his head, sighing heavily. They needed something, some sort of sign or indication that someone could help them. He wasn't even sure where they would start.

He was stressing about Kate and her emotional distress when Juliet happened upon him.

"Hi there," she interrupted his thoughts, and when he looked up, she was carrying a sandwich on a plate. It was grilled, and toothpicks sprouted from the bread. He grinned at her as his eyes followed up to her face, meeting her ice blue ones, her hair pulled out of her pretty face. "Is this seat taken?" She moved to sit beside him, not waiting for a reply.

"Hey," he replied, shifting to get a better look at her. "What's up?"

"Brought you lunch. Just like I remembered you liking it." She handed him the plate and he smiled in great acceptance.

"Thank you," he chuckled at the memory, placing the plate on his lap and taking a bite of the first half. He nodded his enjoyment and she smiled bigger. They sat in silence for a moment, before Jack swallowed his bite and looked at her expectantly.

"You okay?" He asked curiously, eying her as he took his next bite. He let her take a minute to answer, allowing her some time to gather her thoughts.

"I wanted so badly to get off this Island," she started, and Jack watched her closely, not sure where she was taking the conversation, "just as bad as you did."

He nodded. "I remember. That was how I knew I could trust you," he offered the line because he felt she needed the reassurance. She continued, a sad smile on her lips.

"I had the opportunity to leave at one point. When you were gone, this is hard to explain, but we traveled through time. And at one point, we were back before the sub blew up. It was still there, just sitting in the water, waiting. I could have left on it. I should have left on it," she sighed, the smile still there, "but James asked me to give him time. He didn't want to leave and he didn't want to be alone. And I thought to myself, thinking the sub would stay there, what was a few more days or weeks here. If the sub was going to be there tomorrow and the next day, we could leave then. However, it didn't stay. The flashes started again and then…" she drifted off, the smile disappearing. Jack listened silently, allowing her to tell her story, to let out frustrations she held deep. "It was gone, Jack. We were back in the normal time, after you all had left, and the sub was gone. I lost my chance." She paused, seeming to search for her next words. "And I'm happy here Jack, really. I would never have thought I could leave again, because you guys never came back and because I really didn't think I needed to, but now…," she drifted off again and this time Jack looked at her, and noticed tears in her eyes. He was surprised by them, knowing she was not one to show weakness, and immediately became concerned. He set his sandwich to the side and turned slightly, resting an arm behind her on the back of the bench.

"Juliet, what's wrong?" Jack coaxed, wondering if it was medical. She looked up at him, her eyes watery and a small smile played at her lips.

"Jack," she began, in almost a whisper. He leaned closer. "I'm…I'm pregnant." The words came out and though he could tell by her tone she wanted to be joyful, he also heard fear.

"Juliet, that's wonderful. Why do you…ohh," His face moved from happiness for her to concern when he suddenly remembered what this island held. He took in the dread in her eyes and understood now her reaction to his own child. And the whole story suddenly made sense.

"If I stay here Jack, I'll die. I've been trying to come with some plan for weeks now and I just can't seem to figure out anything. But then you guys arrived and suddenly I felt like maybe there was a little hope that somehow…" a tear escaped her eyes and she wiped it away quickly, keeping her eyes focused on her hands in her lap, and on her abdomen, he presumed. "We don't have the supplies we used to have for pregnant women anymore, it's all expired or unusable since it's been so long, and I don't want to…" she caught his eyes and he knew she was desperate. And he didn't blame her. If it was Kate who was pregnant, he'd feel the same way.

"Does Sawyer know?" He whispered and she violently shook her head.

"No, and you can't tell him. I either have to figure out a way off this island or I have to-," she sucked in a breath and his eyes widened, "or I have to take care of it. And I wouldn't want him to know about it if it came to that."

"Juliet, there must be some way, you can't just—"

"Jack, if it comes down to that, I'll need your help. I can't do it myself—"

"No!" he abruptly interrupted her, his eyes flashing hurt and disagreement. "I will not perform an abortion on you, Juliet. I'm not an obstetrician, I don't even know the first thing about them—"

"I'd talk you through it. It may be the only option I have." Juliet looked desperate for his agreement but he couldn't do that.

"Juliet, listen to me. That is not an option for you. You may never get another shot at getting pregnant if we-" he quieted his voice at her wide-eyed response and continued, "We don't have the right materials, and you could die from that too. There's a huge chance of infection or you simply dying from the procedure. I will help you get off this Island but I will not give you an abortion." His resolve was solid but he could tell it wasn't exactly the response she had been looking for. She looked away from him. He placed a comforting hand on her shoulder. "You need to tell him, Juliet. He deserves to know." She nodded, looking back at him.

"He wouldn't leave the first time though, who's to say he'll leave now." Her voice was quiet and defeated.

"You're carrying his child, Juliet. And he loves you. He'll want to save you no matter what he personal wants." He knew he spoke from experience and she could see it on his face. She nodded slowly.

"Please, don't tell anyone. Everyone knows what will happen, and I just couldn't deal with everyone looking at me like that." Jack nodded, agreeing.

"I couldn't. This is between you and me until you tell anyone else. But you should tell him, Juliet." She nodded again and Jack could tell there was more to it than that. She didn't offer up anymore though and he didn't press the issue. He squeezed her shoulder again. "It'll be okay. We'll figure this out." She gave him a smile that eased his worries somewhat.

"Thanks, Jack." He nodded, grinning.

"Anytime."

"How are you feeling?" She inquired, switching her physician voice on. He laughed at her change of subject and then winced at the action, clutching his side lightly.

"I'm fine. " was all he offered and she shook her head.

"You're so stubborn." She replied. "I need to change your bandages; we should probably go do that now, and check the stitches." He playfully wiggled his eyebrows.

"Is that what they're calling it these days?" She tossed her head back with a laugh and he joined her, glad he could lighten the mood.

"Oh you're feeling better, aren't you?" She chided sarcastically, standing. He stood, following her to the medical building.

"When I was last here, we referred to it as getting caught in a net," he replied, still laughing. She glanced back at him and then shook her head.

"I bet they did. I wonder which one suits you better."

"I guess we'll just have to find out, won't we?"

* * *

_Los Angeles, CA_

"Brody, you are going to be the death of me." Margo quipped at the large puppy bounding through her backyard. He barked as if in response as she stood on the deck watching him while he darted around, chasing birds and squirrels and undoing the yard work that had been done with his hole-digging paws. She thoroughly enjoyed his company, though he a significant amount of energy. She sighed at the thoughts the dog brought on, and moved back in to the house, where her son's two children were sitting in their respective seats at her kitchen table, oblivious to the situation at hand.

Her mind drifted back to a few days before, when she had received the news on the television, stating they had lost contact with another Oceanic flight over the Pacific. And to Margo's desperation and dismay, it was her son's plane that had disappeared. They were searching the waters, but had come back with nothing. There had been reports by the pilot of severe turbulence and then they had lost contact with the plane and it had dropped from their radar. Margo's heart was destroyed at the news; she had dropped her coffee upon hearing the report, scaring the daylights out of little Adam, who'd been sitting near by. Aaron had still been asleep that morning, and Margo had kept him away from hearing any news about the situation. She had portrayed to him that everything was fine, though inside she was dying with worry.

"Grandma, when's mommy going to call?" The blonde-haired boy asked from his place at the table, eating his pancakes. Margo took a moment to gather he thoughts before responding.

"Honey, I'm not sure when. Don't you worry though, she loves you very much and she'll call when she can." The little boy nodded, before looking down at his food.

"I miss her and daddy." His bottom lip began to quiver, as it had been every time he'd cry for his parents, and Margo moved to him quickly, willing him not to break her heart anymore.

"I know you do, baby, and they miss you. They'll be home soon." She knew she was lying to the child, but she didn't want to confirm her own fears with the child before she knew the truth. And deep down inside, she didn't believe they were dead. She wouldn't believe it until she had a body proving so. Somehow she felt as though this was similar to last time he had disappeared. And she knew she needed to call someone to share her thoughts.

Settling the children in the living room with their cartoons, she picked up her phone, and moved into Christian's old office, leaving the door open so she could hear the babies if something she happen. She needed privacy though, to make this call. She pulled out a list of emergency contacts and babysitters and dialed the first number on the list. The phone rang as Margo waited nervously for an answer. Her heart jumped when a woman answered.

"Hello?" spoke the soft voice full of accent. Margo took a deep breath.

"Nadia?" She began, confirming the identity.

"This is she. Can I help you?" Nadia offered, confused.

"Possibly. This is Margo Shephard, Jack Shephard's mother. They gave me a list of emergency contacts and you and your husband are the first number."

"Oh, yes, right. Hello Margo, how are you?" They had met briefly at the wedding and parties Jack and Kate had had over the past year, but were not extremely familiar with one another. "Is everything all right with Aaron and Adam?" Nadia asked, concerned.

"Yes, they're fine. I'm actually calling about Jack and Kate. Is Sayid around, by chance?" She hated bypassing Nadia, but she needed to speak with someone who was going to understand what she was about to say. She had thought about this since she'd heard the news about the plane, and finally had to put her thoughts to rest.

"He's at work right now. I can have him call you, if you like." After being rescued, die to his history in the Republican Guard, Sayid had been offered a job with the CIA, as they had worked with him before, in Sydney. He was of great value to them, and had offered him an intelligence job. He had refused to move to Washington to work at the Pentagon, though, so they had allowed him to work out of government offices in Los Angeles. This had also enticed Margo to call him, knowing if anyone would know any information, it would be Sayid.

"Please, if you could. The sooner, the better." She gave Nadia her phone number and thanked her before hanging up and turning to head back to the children. Her eyes caught on a photo of Christian and Jack from when Jack had first graduated college and her heart hurt at the thought she could possibly never see her son again. She lost her husband and her son once, and she had received him back again by some grace of God, she was not about to lose him for a second time. If there was anything she could do, she was going to do it. She was going to get answers. She remembered everything Jack had confessed to her that night in her kitchen and she knew that Island had something to do with this. She felt Sayid could get her answers she needed, and if not, she would seek other options. She was determined not to give up on him again. She was not burying another empty casket. And the children before her, staring innocently up at the television screen didn't deserve to live their lives without their parents. Margo was determined. Whatever resources it took, she would use them. She was going to find her son and daughter-in-law if it was the last thing she did. If anything Jack told her in that story had been true, she knew she might be their only hope if that was indeed where they were.

* * *

_I am actually pleased with this chapter FINALLY, and left reading it myself saying HOLY SH*T. I'm pretty excited, again, about what I've got planned. What do you guys think? Nine pages in Microsoft Word is pretty good, right? I hope you guys are pleased. Let me know your thoughts!  
_

_Reviews are love! I shall begin work on Chapter 46 tonight :-D_


	47. Chapter 46

Chapter 46

_Day 3 continued_

The phone rang, startling Margo from her book. She reached for it quickly, as to not wake the sleeping children upstairs and answered it quickly.

"Hello?" She spoke, her voice rushed.

"Mrs. Shephard? This is Sayid Jarrah, you spoke with my wife Nadia earlier today. She told me you asked for me to call you." His voice was kind and Margo removed her reading glasses from her face, resting them on the book in her lap.

"Sayid, oh thank you for calling me back so soon."

"Is everything all right?" Sayid asked, concerned. There was another tone in his voice Margo couldn't quite put her finger on, but she ignored it, answering him.

"I'm sure you heard about the Oceanic flight that disappeared," she waited for him to acknowledge her statement, and when he did, she continued, "Jack and Kate were on that flight, Sayid." A silence settled between the lines for a moment, before he cleared his throat.

"Mrs. Shephard, I know you are concerned about their whereabouts and their wellbeing, but I cannot really discuss this with you right now." His voice was low, kind, but Margo could tell he was being firm with her. And that he also knew more than she did.

"Sayid, please. Anything you can tell me, I would be so grateful. Please tell me they're alive." Margo stood, her body rigid with fear that he would not tell her anything about the fate of her son and daughter-in-law.

"I'm sorry, ma'am, I cannot—" She cut him off, and her tone was frightened and cold.

"I know about that Island you all were on. I know all that happened." She said the words strongly, as if she were attempting to prove to him the words were true. "Jack told me the whole story. I know how many of you actually lived, and how some of them are still there. I know Aaron is not Kate's biological child. I know all about it, Sayid, so don't you dare to try to tell me you can't talk to me about this. I think you think this Island has something to do with their disappearance. If you do, at least please tell me that. Do you know what its like to be asked over and over by a child when his parents are coming home?" Her monologue was met with stiff silence on the other end and for a moment Margo considered that maybe Sayid had actually hung up on her. Then she heard him sigh heavily, and somehow felt like she'd won a battle.

"He told you everything?" Sayid asked, seeming slightly unsure.

"Yes," Margo replied. "He told me the entire story."

Sayid felt his resolve break, knowing he couldn't very well keep the truth from her much longer, especially if she knew the truth. And he sensed she was on the right track.

"Margo, I cannot talk to you about this while I am here. Please, let me come by tonight and we'll discuss it. I'll tell you what I know and what I think and we'll go from there, is that all right?" Sayid struggled internally with his decision, but he also knew he would need to tell her eventually. He also knew he needed to tell Nadia the truth now, the truth he had kept from her just as they had kept from everyone, because as much as he didn't want to admit it, he knew this was about to become a complicated situation.

"Please. Come by whenever you can. I'll be waiting." She paused, a hopeful breath escaping her lips. "Thank you, Sayid."

"You're welcome, Margo. I'll see you soon." With that he hung up the phone, his fingers resting on the receiver for a brief moment as he contemplated what he had just done. He knew he wasn't supposed to talk to civilians about internal, confidential affairs. And working for the CIA, he also knew in depth details about things he would never really have wanted to know, especially concerning the mysterious Island they had been trapped on for over three months. But he agreed with Margo, she deserved to know where the situation stood, especially if she knew what had happened. He just dreaded what would come with that conversation, because he guaranteed there were a few things he had to tell her that she would not want to hear.

* * *

It was almost completely dark as Kate wondered back into the compound. Her legs felt like numb and her body felt the exhaustion coursing through her veins. All she wanted was to collapse and fall asleep where she stood, but she continued walking toward the medical building, where she hoped to find her husband.

Kate pulled at the sweaty shirt that lay on her small frame and made a groan of disgust. If there had been one thing she didn't miss, it was the wet, humid weather of this place. The anger she felt surprised her, as it was just weather. She was irritated with the whole situation, and she felt that, unfortunately, she was having trouble turning that off.

She had told Claire the truth, and then Claire had run off, leaving her alone to sob about the impeding loss of her 'first' child. She knew, has known all along, he was hers to keep. But she also knew that if they hadn't come back here, and the other survivors hadn't found a way off the island, then she wouldn't be having these thoughts. She felt that if she had ever seen Claire again, and no one else knew that Aaron didn't belong to her, that he would then have stayed with her for the rest of his childhood and teenage years, eventually going off to college. But she knew she would always be his mother. Now, she was sure that if these people went back with them (or even, realistically, if they didn't), that Aaron would no longer be hers. She had the fresh, rude awakening now that she was raising someone else's child, and when said aloud, that made it all seem different to her. She felt like she had betrayed some code of motherhood. But at the end of the day, after assessing all the different angles, if she had to do it over again, she would have done the same thing, no question. She was just frustrated with Claire's reaction and the reminder that she hadn't birthed Aaron. And that saddened her and left a void somewhere deep inside her.

Making her way up the stairs, she was stopped by a familiar southern rasp.

"Freckles! We've been worried sick about you! Where've ya been?" Sawyer called from a few feet away, striding toward her. She didn't turn her body, only her head, not in the mood for his banter.

"Sorry, James. Just needed time to think. I didn't go outside the perimeter, don't worry." She spoke of the large pillars deemed to security system to keep the plume of dark, man-eating, black smoke out of their compound.

"You need to be careful though, Freckles. You shouldn't be roaming by yourself."

"James, last I checked you weren't my father. Leave me alone." Her glare was evident and the tone of her voice was one of irritation and anger. Sawyer took a step back and held his hands up in defense.

"Easy there, pistol." Kate turned back and began up the next stair. "Where ya going?"

"To see Jack." She replied curtly.

"Well you're going in the wrong direction. We moved you guys to a house next to ours." Sawyer pointed across the compound to a yellow house that looked very much like the rest of them. "You've seen it before. It's was Ben's." Kate turned around and peered at the house, a new sense of dread setting over her. They were moving into a house? That felt too permanent for her, too real. Kate pushed past Sawyer and made her way to the house, feeling her annoyance with this situation boiling. She reached for the handle and swung open the door but stopped abruptly. The sound drifting through the house was one she had heard before. It was soft, and slow, as if he couldn't remember the chords until his fingers touched the keys. She stood, listening, not yet being able to see him past the hallway. The sounds drew her into the house, as if carrying her, much like the last time she had heard them. She was suddenly enthralled in his playing, forgetting her early exhaustion and anger. She had forgotten about this piano, hadn't thought about that memory, coming back for him only for him to tell her he was leaving her, in what seemed like years. She didn't allow herself to think about the memories from here, maybe that was why she was so angry they were back. Each step she took was slow and quiet, as if not to disturb the pianist who hadn't yet realized her presence.

Jack was sitting at the old piano, concentrating, his fingers gliding slowly. He entranced Kate. She hadn't seen him play since Christmas; they didn't have a piano in their house, and he didn't seem interested when they were at his mother's. It was like a secret talent he only showed when he was in distress or pressured. She suddenly realized they had never even had a conversation about when he learned to play.

As Kate stood in the same place she had the first time, she suddenly felt overcome with emotions. She didn't want to be back here, but being here made her remember meeting her husband for the first time, the mistakes she had made, the lies she told, and how badly she had hurt him. And how he always stood by her, beside her, doing things unnecessary, like helping Sawyer when he didn't want to, trusting the Others because she had asked him to, and understanding why she needed to keep Aaron, even though he disapproved. The man before her, his fingers gliding along the keys of the slightly out of tune piano, was the best man she had ever met. He had his flaws, but at the end of the day, he was always looking out for her. He would always be there for her; he was a rock in their current world of shambles. She realized then that if she wanted off this Island, he was going to get her off the Island, no matter what it took, because he would do anything for her.

Kate closed the distance between them, sliding her arms over Jack's shoulders to his upper chest. His fingers slid off the piano slowly and he turned to face her, his eyes concerned and questioning. He opened his mouth to speak, but before he could, her eyes slid closed and her lips covered his, mingling his soul with hers. He shifted, not parting their lips, so that she stood between his knees, his hands resting on her hips, his fingers holding her tightly. One of her hands gripped his shoulder, the other slid behind his head, her fingers sliding through his hair in the back. He groaned into her mouth and she replied back by ravishing his lips. The kiss lasted for a few more moments before she began gently leaning him back against the piano. He pulled away slightly though, a small, painful gasp leaving his lips.

"Easy, Kate.." he whispered, a pained yet playful twinkle in his eyes. She grinned sheepishly, out of breath.

"Sorry," she whispered back. He sat up slowly, and then hugged her waist gently, his head resting at her chest. She rubbed his back and held him tightly.

"I'm so sorry, Kate." His words were soft whispers against her cotton shirt and she felt ashamed for being so angry with him for something so out of his control.

"I'm sorry, too." She spoke, her tone matching him. He leaned back and she felt a piece of her heart shatter at the determination in his eyes.

"Kate, I will do whatever it takes to get you home safe. Please understand that." She cupped his cheeks and met his gaze.

"If there is one thing I know about you, Jack, it's that you keep your word. I know you will."

"If it's the last thing I do, I will get you home. I am so, _so_ sorry this happened. All I wanted was ten days alone with you in a cabana in Fiji." His fingers rubbed the small of her back and she felt shivers go up her spine at the sensual contact.

"I know. We'll get out of this." She kissed his forehead and they embraced again. She knew he would keep his word. He would do whatever it took, she was sure of that. This time, when he pulled back from her, his eyes were darker and held the look she had intended on seeing their entire honeymoon. And when he kissed her, it was a hungry kiss, one of intense passion that caused her to feel as though she were sinking into him, as if he were swallowing her whole. He stood, only separating their lips for a second, before coming back for more, his hands gripping at her hips as she carefully tried to maneuver around his sore abdomen. Her moan against his lips was all the motivation he needed though and he pulled back slightly.

"I think you could use a shower," he began, his voice husky and full of lust. Her eyes were weary as she questioned him.

"Jack…," she warned, knowing his condition.

"Come." He took her hand and let her slowly to the bathroom. Despite his injuries, which she knew were taking a backseat to the physical and emotional healing they both needed and desired, he removed his own shirt, revealing more bruises Kate hadn't realized existed, and then reach for her own, pulling the dirty material over her head. He kissed her as he undid her jeans, sliding them down her hips, as she undid his. He turned on the shower as she rid herself of the rest of her clothing and when he turned back, he took in her beautiful, naked body and smiled lovingly at her. She returned the look before pushing at his jeans, and he, slowly, removed the rest of his clothing to match her. He then took her hand and led her into the hot shower, the water cascading over her skin like it did the first time she had showered on the Island, something she hadn't realized she had missed so much. It revitalized her as it wet her dark hair, the curls resting into straight tresses along her lean muscled back. Jack smiled on appreciatively, taking in her innocent enjoyment and beauty before moving to her, engulfing her lips under the scalding stream of water. As he kissed down her neck, she reveled in feeling every twitch of his muscles against her, her hands on his strong lower back, his muscled, tattooed arms encircling her. Sometimes the masculine man before her and the incredible attractiveness he held took her aback. She kissed him back with every ounce of passion she possessed because she knew, when morning came, that they had a lot to accomplish and that this may be her last opportunity to hold him before they were home safely.

* * *

_Day 4_

Jack woke the next morning to sound of rain on the roof. He blinked his eyes s he struggled to determine where he was and what was going on. As he came to, he realized they were not at home, and suddenly the waves of remembrance came flooding back. He realized he must not have slept soundly since they had arrived, and now lying in the comfortable bed he was in felt almost like their king-size at home. Except, to his enjoyment, the full bed they were sharing had Kate snuggled against him, her bare backside resting against his bare thigh, his arm under her pillow, her head lying on his colorful bicep. He shifted slightly, his arm beginning to grow numb, and she shifted with him, her backside ending up against him in another position, one that caused him to count to ten, slowing his breathing, as he wasn't sure, after their rounds in the shower and in the bedroom, if his sore, damaged body could go again. The pain in his abdomen was fairly strong and his arm was throbbing from where he'd held her up against the shower wall, as he was sure Dr. Juliet would be horrified if she knew that he hadn't listening to her and took it easy.

Kate slid back into him, snuggling closer, and much to his pleasure and dismay, he knew he would have to leave the warm bed if he wanted to avoid abusing himself with her gorgeous body again. He sighed heavily as he attempted to make a decision and Kate giggled against him, signaling she was awake and aware of his plight. He growled in her ear.

"You should have put clothes on before you fell asleep," his voice was deep and Kate giggled again, shifting her weight back farther into him, causing another deep grown.

"I should have? Maybe you should have, since I'm not the one having any issues." Kate turned her head to catch his lips as he peered over her. His eyes were dark with lust and Kate found herself getting lost in them quickly. His deep hazel eyes were her weakness.

"Oh well, too late now," Jack reasoned, rolling Kate onto her back. The rain against the roof and windowpanes were fitting acoustics as Jack made love to his wife in the least painful position they could muster. Kate was always overwhelmed by the amount of pleasure she experienced with him and felt, for a moment, like they were finally on their honeymoon, having made love three times in less than 10 hours. Kate set herself be sucked into the passion and attentiveness of her husband, determined to allow herself to enjoy what private time they had.

* * *

Kate awoke Jack again, a few hours later, with speckled kisses along his bruised chest and abdomen, letting out a small groan as she did so.

"Kate…I'm pretty sure I might die if we go again…" Kate giggled at his protest, and laid off to his side, her hand resting on one of his pectorals.

"Okaaay," she drew out, resting her head against the crook of his arm. He wrapped his good arm around her and kissed her forehead.

"We probably have to get up at some point," he suggested, eyeing the room for a clock. He noticed it was silent now, and a little lighter out.

"It's probably still early. Besides, I want to enjoy whatever small semblance of a honeymoon I can get." She leaned up to catch his lips and he smiled against hers.

"I could eat you alive, are you aware of this?" He groaned, rolling to lean over her once more. This time though he only let his fingers run along her bare stomach, drinking her in with his eyes.

"Only because I could eat _you_ alive." Kate replied playfully, enjoying the relaxed demeanor with which they interacted. Maybe if they had been able to enjoy each other last time they were here, it would have made it easier to take. Laying in this bed with him this moment was certainly allowing her mind to drift away from their current plight and enjoy just being alone with him. His eyes searched her face.

"What are you thinking about?" He asked, his hand taking in her soft skin under his expert fingers. His hand continued to drift up and down her mid-section as she responded.

"Just about you and all that you do to me," she giggled again, leaning up on her elbows and capturing his lips with hers. As he leaned her onto the pillow to deepen the kiss, his hand sliding up to her chin, a rough series of knocks sounded at the front door, causing them to break apart unhappily.

"I'll get it," Jack replied reluctantly to the unsaid question, standing slowly, his body sore, wrapping a discarded towel from the night before around his trim waist. Kate whistled approvingly as he made his way out into the foyer, reaching the door. As he swung it open, Sawyer stood on the other side with his back to him. As he turned, he caught the spinal surgeons bare chest and the towel covering his lower half and dropped his eyes.

"Hey Doc, sorry if I'm interrupting anything," he cleared his throat, "but some people have been asking some questions and I think its about time you two explain to everyone else how you got here, why you're here, and why you never came back." Jack could tell from his tone that he was disapproving, and maybe slightly jealous, and Jack sighed.

"All right, let me take a shower and get Kate up and we'll be right out." The lean man replied. Sawyer nodded, looking up to catch Jack's eyes.

"And I suggest you tell the truth. These people have been through enough."

"I'm not one to lie, Sawyer, you should know that about me by now." Jack's gaze was challenging before Sawyer nodded, his white flag drawn as he retreated down the stairs. Jack shut the door as the other man retreated and made him way back into the bedroom. Kate was still lying in the bed, her arms and legs sprawled, her curls crazy and wavy from not having been brushed after their shower, and simply having dried every which way against the fabric of the pillowcases. Jack took in her clean, freckled face, and her tangled mess of long curls, and admired her for a moment. She caught his eye and smiled. He walked slowly to the bed, taking in her innocent, simple beauty.

Settling down on the bed next to her, his hand rested on her warm cheek and he smiled tenderly at her.

"I love you." He whispered, as if not to break a spell. Her eyes watered and again she was flooded with love and adoration for the man she knew would protect her with all he had.

"I love you too." They shared a quiet moment, his thumb caressing her cheek, her eyes speaking silent words with his before he withdrew his hand slowly.

"It's time to explain to these people what's going on. I'm going to tell them everything."

"I told Claire about Aaron yesterday." The words were blurted out softly, and Jack look up to her downcast eyes. His were wide with surprise.

"When? Why did you tell me?"

"I wasn't ready. She found me in the jungle and was asking me about him so I told her. Everything. All about him, how I kept him, everything." Jack rested a comforting hand on her arm and she glanced up at him, her eyes watery and sad.

"How'd she take it?"

"She ran off. But I needed to tell her; she had to know. She's upset, but I'm hoping that at some point she might understand why I did it."

"She will, don't worry." He again ran a hand down her cheek. "You okay?"

She nodded silently. "I will be." He nodded at her admission, not sure he believed her. She hoped her words were true, because she wasn't sure she believed herself either.

* * *

Jack and Kate walked slowly to the crowd of people gathered by the gazebo in the middle of the compound. Sawyer greeted them with a nod as they moved to stand by him and Juliet. Kate could feel the anxiety in her stomach, and she wrung her fingers together over the pale blue button down shirt she had chosen from the closet of clothes in Juliet's house, still wearing her same ripped jeans. Her sneakers were replaced by a pair of boots as Kate knew she needed to be ready for whatever they had planned. As Jack moved to the steps of the gazebo, he cleared his throat and took in the questioning faces around him. Juliet touched Kate's arm gently in reassurance, as they didn't know how well it would go.

As Jack began to explain what had happened with the freighter and the helicopter, he was slow and methodical with his words, as he always had been when acting as leader of their beach camp. He told them about being rescued by Penny's boat and how they had decided on lying to the public about what had happened to protect the island. Nothing that happened on it was anything that anyone in the real world would understand, and they felt it was the right decision at the time. Jack explained about Charles Whidmore and how he faked the crash, planting an Oceanic plane in the bottom of the ocean to make rescue workers think no one lived.

"We were trying to protect you all from him and anyone in contact with him. When the Island disappeared, we knew we wouldn't be able to get back but we wanted you to be safe from outsiders." He went on to explain the lives of the ones who had gotten off, including the birth of Ji Yeon, and how Kate kept Aaron to avoid losing him. As all the lies and truths became apparent, people were filled with questions about what happened to the island, if they'd be leaving this time, and if they could stay if they chose not to leave. Jack held his hands up to quiet the crowd.

"I don't know the answers to all your questions. I can tell you that they're most likely looking for our plane, though I'm not sure if it crashed or if it continued on without us. I'm not sure how we got on the Island to begin with. But we have every intention of leaving. Kate and I have a baby to get back to and Aaron, and we would like to take anyone with us who is interested in leaving." Again the crowd acted up. "But if you don't want to leave, you don't have to. Though I do think it is for the best. I'll let you all think on it, and then we'll devise a plan to get us off the Island." Jack stepped slowly down the stairs, and made his way to Kate, Juliet, and Sawyer as the group talked amongst themselves. Kate wrapped an arm around Jack's waist and rested her head on his shoulder.

"What now, Doc?" Sawyer asked curiously.

"Now we let them decide what they all want to do and we figure out how to get off this damn Island." He kissed Kate's forehead as Sawyer scoffed.

"I told you, Hero," Sawyer started in low argumentative voice, "that I ain't leaving. We don't need saving." His face was screwed up in anger and Jack raised an eyebrow.

"Okay, well that's your decision. I just think you should think about all your options before you make your final decision." Jack's eyes flickered to Juliet's briefly before going back to Sawyer's. "Maybe you should ask Juliet what she wants." Jack suggested innocently. Sawyer looked to Juliet and then back to the other man.

"She's staying with me."

"James…." Juliet began, and Sawyer looked to her sharply.

"We ain't leaving, Juliet. We have nothing to go back to." With his last comment, Sawyer turned and left the group with a look and Kate and Jack looked upon Juliet with sympathy. Jack's sympathy carried more than Kate's however.

"Juliet, you need to tell him." Kate looked up at Jack curiously as he stepped away from her, and crossing his arms.

Juliet's face was red as she looked up at Jack. "What good is it going to do? I think I'm just going to leave without him—"

"Juliet, go tell him now. He deserves to know." Jack's voice was serious but hushed, as he knew no one else needed to know. Kate look between the two people before her and felt lost and outside their inside story. Juliet sighed heavily and ran an exasperated hand over her forehead. She then looked up at Jack again and he gave her a hopeful look. "It just might change his mind."

As Juliet walked away, Kate scrunched her brow and looked up at Jack. "What is going on? What don't I know?" Kate asked quietly, urgently. Jack watched Juliet walk away before looking down at Kate.

"She's pregnant." Jack confessed, unlike him, but knowing it was about to come out anyway.

"She's—what?"

"She told me yesterday. She needs to leave, or she'll die." Jack said it mater-of-factly but Kate knew it was serious. Kate nodded her understanding and watched as Juliet trekked after Sawyer to their house. She also knew why Sawyer didn't want to leave.

"James, wait!" Juliet called out as she ran up to him. She reached him as he reached their front door, flinging it open. Juliet walked in behind him as he threw a book across the room. "James…"

"What? He thinks he can just show up here and become hero, taking us all home? I'm sorry, but I ain't leaving, Jules. I got nothing left there, everything I have is here."

"James, I need to leave." Juliet's eyes were pleading and her voice quiet as her hand rested on her abdomen. She stared into his back as she spoke. "We may never get another opportunity, we need to take this one." She could feel the hardening of her stomach that had already begun and she was close to 15 weeks along. On her thin frame, she had managed to hide it, the 70's shirts larger and flowey on her. Sawyer had made a quip about her weight but she had played it off. Now she wished she hadn't lied.

"Juliet, you never wanted to leave before, what makes you want to leave now?" He kept his back to her, his tone angry.

"I did want to leave, and I let you convince me to stay. However, this time we _have_ to leave or I might die, James." She felt dramatic but in her heart she was determined to live, as she not only was looking out for herself but her unborn child as well.

"Why do you need to leave so badly?" His voice was sarcastic and mean, and she felt her eyes well up.

"I'm pregnant." She blurted it out, a few tears falling. "And I've been trying to figure out what to do. I will die if we don't leave. My only option is an abortion and that only became an option when Jack got here. However, I could still die from that. I want to have this baby, James, with you, and that means I _have_ to leave." She covered her mouth with her hand as she trembled. Sawyer turned slowly, taking in her sobbing and her hand on her stomach and he could see the small bump underneath. In shock he stumbled to her.

"You're…pregnant?" he questioned, his eyes flashing from anger to unsureness. Juliet nodded, wiping her tears.

"Yes. I'm about 15 weeks along. I've got another 5 before I will surely die. And even at 15 weeks, I wouldn't survive an abortion, James. Not here, without the right medical equipment, without and OB." He seemed to digest her information, not sure how he was reacting. She turned away. "It's fine, you can stay. But I have to leave. I've wanted a child my whole life and I may not get another chance." She knew she needed to be upfront with him. She felt his hands turn her back around to face him.

"Blondie…," he began, his voice soothing her. "Why didn't you tell me before?" He tilted her head so she would meet his eyes.

"I was afraid. And I didn't want to tell you if I had to—" another sob escaped her lips and he wrapped his arms around her. He understood now, and he knew he had to change his decision. It was no longer about him, he couldn't live without her. If she was leaving, he was going. He wouldn't let her die here. He held her while she sobbed, and then pulled her back to catch her eyes.

"Okay." He said, wiping her tears.

"Okay? What? Are you…?" Juliet searched his face, questioning him, unsure.

"I wish you had told me sooner. I knew you were gaining weight but I didn't make the connection. Blondie, I love you more than I've ever loved anyone. I will _not_ let you die here because you are pregnant." He kissed her forehead and pulled her close as she melted into him.

"Are you saying…"

"Yes, Juliet. Let's get the hell off this rock."

* * *

WOW! Its finished! I posted! :-D I hope you all liked it! Let me know your thoughts! Thank you for all your reviews and your patience! I'm super excited about where this is going! Hope my Sawyer didn't suck LOL. I'm not used to writing him yet. I will go deeper into the effects of her confession and what their plan is in the next chapter. Be ready for a ride because it's about to get a little rough.

Reviews are LOVE!


	48. Chapter 47

Chapter 47

**Okay, so just an FYI: I am not that great at writing science fiction (probably because I've never written it before and I'm not really interested in it) so please be nice with your reviews on this subject. I'm including things because LOST itself was sci-fi and this was the direction I decided was best to take the story. Hang on to your hats.

Note: Though I am going a little Sci-Fi here, I am NOT however following the show in a cannon fashion. LOST was a complicated storyline and I am going to do my best not to make this story about LOST, as much as about rescuing Jack and Kate. Not all my explanations will be cannon, and though I've done a TON of research (part of the reason it takes me so long to update), I'm also making a few things up. Also, Sayid, Margo, Jack, Kate, etc, etc, don't know all there is to know like we do now. So just bear with me, okay, and I beg of you not to be too critical. Thanks.

Thank you to Stef23.51 for help with ideas and getting this all straight! Thank you!

This fic feels more like a research paper than a fanfic sometimes…lol. Hope you all are enjoying this….

Also...caution...adult language. I mean no offense. Thanks.

All right, on to the chapter**

* * *

_Los Angeles, Day 3 continued _

A knock sounded late on the door and Margo moved quickly to answer it. Her heart had been pounding all afternoon at the thought of Sayid's visit and she had almost thought for a moment as the clock ticked later and later that he wouldn't be coming by like he had said he intended. But now, as she answered the door, she almost wished he hadn't. Her fear was great as she greeted him with a desperate, tight smile.

"Sayid, thank you for coming." She greeted him as she welcomed him into her home. He smiled genuinely and shook her hand, though she could see worry lines across his forehead.

"Thank you for understanding my desire to not talk about this matter at my work. It's too fresh and confidential still. I have brought a few documents, is there a good place to lay them out while we talk?" Margo nodded, leading him into the kitchen. The children were asleep upstairs, and she knew they wouldn't wake, but she wanted to be as far from earshot as possible. She welcomed Sayid into Christian's office, the desk cleared of clutter from her cleaning spree from stress that afternoon, and Sayid deposited the book and maps on the table as Margo rushed off to get them each a cup of tea for their discussion.

When Margo arrived back in the room, Sayid had disposed of his jacket, and was pouring over the maps and documents he had laid on the mahogany desk. She noticed that some of them displayed the Oceanic logo, while others were simple world maps. The documents were from Oceanic, she could tell by the headers, and she grew apprehensive as watched Sayid prepare. When he finally sat down, pulling his chair up to the desk, she held her breath as she waited for him to talk. He looked at her for a moment before he spoke.

"Tell me what you know about the Island," was how he began, eyeing her. Margo took a deep breath and contemplated her response.

"Jack came to me one night and told me everything. He said he felt guilty. He explained all about the hatch, and the Dharma Initiative, and, what he called, a Smoke Monster. I'm not sure I understand everything he spoke of, but I believed him. He also said there was no communication with the outside world. Which is why I began to worry when the plane was described as missing." Margo's understanding of the situation was vague but she tried hard to remember the things Jack had told her. "He told me about Aaron, and how his mother is my late husband's daughter, not Kate's, like you all lead everyone to believe. And I understand why she did it. What I don't understand is what this Island is, per say, and what it wants with you all. Do you believe that is where they are, Sayid, or do you believe they are dead?"

Sayid took a deep breath. "I believe they are alive Margo. All sources we can find indicate that they could have very well ended up back on the island. There is, what we believe, a force of sorts that pulls objects to the island, kind of like an electromagnetic field. Now, when our plane crashed, it was torn apart in mid air. If Jack told you everything, you know the wreckage landed on the beach," he paused and Margo nodded," and over 40 of us survived. We were part of the front of the plane. The tail section landed miles away on the other side of the island, and a little over 20 of them survived. In my research of this phenomena, it would take a horrific force to pull a plane of that size out of the air. Now, having said that, I have also tried to calculate, recreate, and map what happened to my plane in light of the recent Oceanic disappearance." Sayid pulled a map closer to them and they leaned over it. "I have tried to pin point, using information from both flights, where the Island may be located. After the first crash, the pilot lived briefly and told Jack they were thousands of miles off course, headed for Fiji when we hit turbulence. The radio went out six hours in, and the pilot turned the plane around, heading back for Fiji. When we turned, we were north east of Fiji. Probably about two hours away from landing in Fiji, had we made it. We would have been traveling a similar flight path to Fiji as Jack and Kate were three days ago. The same flight path almost all commercial airliners fly." Sayid points to a few spots on the maps as he speaks, the maps indicating flight paths, locations of islands, and a theory of where the actual Island itself might be. "That all being said, it is very likely that Oceanic 233, the flight Jack and Kate were one, would have been disrupted the same way 815 was. That also being said, I can't say for sure that Jack and Kate are alive."

As he paused, Margo digested the information, Sayid made a few calculations on the charts provided and then looked back up at Margo. "My thoughts are as follows. If Jack and Kate survived, its likely other people did too. It's hard to say if the plane survived the impact, if there was one, or if it disintegrated much like 815 did. However, we have been searching the area since it happened, though we have no sign or the wreckage yet. Which could be good, or bad." Margo appreciated his honesty, though she felt her heart break a little with every apprehensive word he spoke.

"So do you have a plan to get them back?" She asked tentatively.

Sayid sighed and leaned back in his chair. "The problem with this Island, there are certain bearings leading into and from the island. Due to its position and, for whatever reason, invisibility, it is nearly impossible to locate it. We need to get in there on the same bearing we got in and out in the first place. To do this, I need someone who knows the bearings. And unfortunately, Daniel Faraday is the only person, to my knowledge, who knows this information, and last I was aware, he was still on the Island, as he chose to stay when we were all leaving. And unfortunately for us, that means he cannot communicate with us about this issue." Sayid rubbed his forehead, slightly exasperated, and closed his eyes momentarily. "There is one other person who may be able to help us find this bearing, as he has traveled it before. And if he cannot help us, I'm not sure of our next move."

"Well, who the hell is he?" Margo asked after a beat, eyes wide, dying for him to tell her this person was already found and working toward saving her son. Sayid's response was stressed, and a sigh led into the confession.

"Frank Lapidus, the pilot who rescued us." Sayid watched Margo's face cloud in confusion and she shook her head.

"Pilot? I'm not sure I understand…" she began and Sayid sighed again, this time in a sound of frusteration, and leaned forward, pulling out a file with the picture of an older man on the front.

"Jack didn't tell you this part?" Margo shook her head, and Sayid laughed, shaking his head. "He tells you about the smoke monster and the others but doesn't tell you about the pilot who rescued us in the helicopter. Figures." He handed Margo the file, who set down her cup of tea. "Frank Lapidus, licensed commercial airline pilot, and helicopter pilot. He was brought in on the freighter, Kahana, to find and kill Benjamin Linus. He was to take the searchers to and from the Island. The funny thing was, he was actually set to pilot 815 from Sydney, but overslept. That's why he signed up for the freighter's mission." Margo looked over the file, before looking back up at Sayid.

"So, is he going to do it?" Margo asked pointedly. Sayid shrugged and sipped his tea.

"He won't answer our phone calls and he refuses to talk to us in person."

"Have you told him what you need him for?"

"No, because it's confidential and we need to meet in person to discuss it. No one in the media can know what we're doing. Do you have any idea the backlash and media frenzy this kind of thing would cause?" Sayid was bold with his answer and Margo was taken aback. That didn't prevent her from being angry though.

"You mean to tell me the CIA can't get him to talk? And the fact that you won't be honest with him doesn't make me feel like you want his help that badly."

"Margo, you have to understand—"

"Understand what? Go to his God-damned house, knock on his door and tell him the truth. Would you like me to do it? Because if you don't, I'm going to." Her voice was hushed but heated as she stared at Sayid, and for the first time since their conversation began, he could see a bit of where Jack got his stubborn side and his leadership qualities.

"Ma'am, please understand, it's policy for us to—"

"Pardon my language, but fuck your policy. We're talking about the lives of people we, you and me, care about very much. You need to do everything in your power to bring my son home, for the second and final time. What part of that do you not understand?" Margo could feel tears stinging her eyes as she stared at the man before her.

"It's not about what I don't understand, ma'am, it's about how we run as an intelligence agency. I shouldn't even be here telling you these things. I will do the best that I can, but I cannot guarantee anything. I care about your son and Kate very much, but if I can't get Frank to talk to me, I'll have to search for another option." Margo stood and paced, Frank's file in her clutch, as she contemplated their next move.

"What about this Desmond character? Jack told me about him. Where is he?" Sayid shrugged again.

"In the middle of the Pacific somewhere. He's hasn't been contactable for a couple of years now. He's living on a boat with his wife and son. We saw them recently at one of our gatherings, but they don't keep in contact that often. I've tried to locate him but I've been unsuccessful." Margo felt a panic bubbling inside her and she prayed for a solution. "How are the boys?" Sayid asked sympathetically and Margo felt the tears again.

"Adam doesn't seem to know any difference, he's so young. Aaron asks for them constantly, and I'm worried he'll resent them because they never called like they promised I would. I've come up with all sorts of innocent lies, but eventually he's going to wonder if they've abandoned him. Especially if they're…." the thought of the two not coming back shattered her heart. How was she supposed to raise these two young children? The thought frightened her. Sayid stood and placed a comforting hand on Margo's arm.

"I will do whatever I can to find them. I just don't want to make any promises I, myself, cannot keep." She nodded solemnly, and thanked him under a whisper. When the moment ended, Sayid turned back to his things on the desk. "I need to get going. Nadia is eight months along and I hate leaving her alone too long," he cracked a small smile and Margo nodded, understanding. As Sayid cleaned up his things, Margo slid the file she held onto a shelf beside her, under a large book to pictures from Jack's youth.

"Thank you again for coming, Sayid. I appreciate any help you can give." As Margo walked him to the door, they said goodnight and he promised to call her again soon, with or without news. As Margo locked the door behind the man, she made her way back into the office; pulling the file out when she was sure Sayid had pulled out of her driveway. She felt bad keeping the file, as it in no way belonged to her, but she knew she would have to take some matters into her own hands. She would simply help the process along. Knowing it was late, she dialed Veronica's number anyway, and asked if she could watch the children the next day, as Margo had some things she had to do. Veronica agreed and Margo felt for the first time since the disappearance of the plane that she was making progress in finding the location of her son. And though Sayid may have doubted her, she thought, she knew she was far from done at finding her son and his wife. She was prepared to pay what she had to and use whatever resources and recourse she could to accomplish her goal. Nothing was holding her back this time. She would not be burying two more empty coffins. And she felt, somewhere deep within her heart, that they were alive. And she could find them, no matter what it took.

* * *

_Day 4 continued_

"Jack? What are you doing?" Kate called up into the small attic of the yellow-colored house.

"I told you, I'm looking for something that can help us."

"What exactly could help us?" Kate questioned, raising her eyebrows, though he couldn't see her.

"I don't know, but if its here, I'll find it." Jack wasn't sure what he was looking for, but the fact that Ben had lived in this particular house led Jack to believe there might be something, anything, that could aid them in contacting the outside world in hopes of rescue. In the back of his mind though, he figured that if there had been something, he would have found it already.

"You've been up there an hour. I'm pretty sure if there was something, you would have found it already. The attic grew silent to Jack's rustling and Kate sighed, shrugging her shoulders. She moved off from the tiny ladder, heading back into the kitchen of the small house.

Jack stared at the leather bound book and felt like he had just pulled it from a memory. Opening it, he noticed first the signature on the inside of the journal itself, _"Daniel, No matter what, remember, I will always love you. Mother"_, and it clicked as to who it belonged to, and suddenly Jack had the first hint of real hope that'd he had in four days.

* * *

I know it's probably the shortest chapter I have written but I've been dying to update. Thank you SOOO much for all the reviews. Anyone have any idea where we're headed? How are you all liking the storyline development? Please voice your thoughts and concerns.

This is the first chapter I've written that had not been based around Jack and Kate. I promise it will not continue this way; I just have to move the plot along.

Thank you in advance for your most wonderful reviews! :-D


	49. Author's Note!

Helllllo all! How is this week treating you? Just wanted to make a couple notes on the coming chapter/chapters.

Chapter 48 is going to be a 'finale' of sorts, like a _season_ finale, if you will. It's going to be close to 20,000 words, which is what is taking so long for me to update, and will completely cover what I have planned. I'm excited; it's going to be an AWESOMELY EXCITING chapter, and it'll answer a lot of questions, though it may also present new questions as well. Those will be answered in the follow-up to this chapter, which I may or may not make a sequel to the series. I mean, it'll be a sequel if I chose to separate them, though I may continue with it as one, whole, long story.

A few things you can look forward to find out in the coming chapter:

*What happened to the Oceanic flight Jack and Kate were on

*Why I entitled the story 'To Keep You' (this will actually be on-going)

*What may happen to Aaron

*Sawyer's true feelings about his baby with Juliet, and some truths will be revealed between them

*How Jack plans to save Kate

*And no, I will not be killing Juliet. Kudos to me for that, LOL. I can't be killing baby Suliet, now can I?

Is that enough of a spoiler for you guys to keep reading? I hope so! I'm very excited for the conclusion of this chapter, and I'm almost there! Just wanted to post an update on here, since I know not everyone can follow the Tumblr or the Facebook, so I'm posting this on here for everyone to read. Thank you all so, so, SO much for your reviews. I write this story for myself and for you and I thank you all so much for reading it all this time. I'm very excited to update and I can't wait to hear everyone's thoughts. Thank you all so much for your ideas and inspirations. As always, keep reading and reviewing, each and every one of them make my days!

Also, feel free to post comments on this note, as I am not removing it. Chapter 48 will be posted as chapter 50. LOL I'm terrible about this, but oh well.

Thanks for reading this note! I'm hoping to update by mid next week. Hang in there, it'll happen! They're like episodes, LOL. Read the older chapters and they're like repeats while you wait for the new one to air. LOL Alright, I'm getting a little wild in this note. Off to write! Thanks again!


	50. Chapter 48

Chapter 48

_Check the poll on my profile! I need input! Thanks in advance!_

_**FLASHBACK **_

_Kate poured herself and Jack each a cup of coffee while she waited for the pancakes on the griddle to finish cooking. She hummed along to the catchy adult contemporary music playing from their sound system, bringing Aaron his juice and heating Adam's milk. Aaron was perched in his chair at the breakfast bar while Adam lay in his bouncy chair on top of the bar itself. Both children were awake and bright-eyed, Aaron handing Adam his toys as he dropped them every so often, being the sweet older brother he was to his small infant brother. Kate watched them for a moment before flipping the pancakes. While her back was turned, she felt the long fingers she relished touch the hem of her short silk bathrobe, a comfortable choice in the warm June weather LA was experiencing. Kate grinned, not bothering to look over her shoulder, as she knew the lips of the man she loved would find her neck on their own. And when they did, he kissed down from her ear to what was exposed of her shoulder. _

"_Good morning," she giggled, his breath tickling her neck as he groaned ever so quietly against her. _

"_Morning, yourself," his voice was sweet, low, and husky, and Kate reached across the counter without turning, handing him his cup of coffee to prevent anything else 'adult-only' from happening in front of the children. She loved that after two years together and two children, he still wanted her every moment of the day, it seemed. He sighed heavily as he took the coffee, made to his exact specifications, and she turned with the plate of pancakes to see that, though she had shut him down, he still had a playful spark in his hazel eyes. His grey t-shirt hugged his broad chest tightly and his black, light cotton sweatpants let her mind wander to places they shouldn't have been in front of the children. She served Aaron, cutting then chocolate chip pancake into small strips just like he liked them as Jack spoke baby language with Adam, always rising a laugh of her at his easy-doing nature with the infant. The baby smiled back, his arms and legs bouncing, as his father tickled his little belly. As Kate finished with the syrup on Aaron's pancakes, Jack set his coffee cup down, coming toward her, a familiar song on the radio. She raised an eyebrow as he began to sing, the song not exactly in his key, and she laughed as he grabbed her hand, bringing her tightly to him, her hand in his palm, his arm secured around her back. She threw her head back in laughter, her curls grazing her lower back, and Jack delighted in the fact he could make her laugh just that way. Aaron clapped his hands, laughing as Jack danced them around the kitchen, singing the words of the song to her, spinning her and dipping her as if they were in a dancing contest. Though she laughed and protested mildly, she loved every minute. She loved their dynamic, the fun they had. _

_As the song ended, he dipped her deeply and placed a kiss on her lips for a moment, while Aaron applauded. _

"_Me next, Daddy! Me next!" the child shouted, a large smile across his small features. As Jack lifted Kate back to her feet. He placed another kiss on her lips._

"_All right, kiddo," he replied with a happy grin, "eat your breakfast and we'll dance after," he agreed. Aaron wiggled in his seat in delight, before picking up his fork and beginning his meal. "I love you," Jack whispered against Kate's hair in their embrace. She smiled against his shoulder, wishing this particular Sunday would never end. _

"_I love you," she replied in the same whisper. They had a moment before Jack moved to the plate of pancakes to get himself a few, scoffing at what he saw. _

"_Do these have chocolate chips in them?" he cried in mock anger. Aaron nodded emphatically from his spot, the evidence across his crème skin, and Jack tried hard to keep a straight face. Kate placed a hand on her hip and leaned the other against the counter. _

"_They are. What's it to ya?" she replied in a sassy tone. He raised an eyebrow at her before looking back at the plate. _

"_Not exactly healthy, mama-bear." He replied, dropping a nickname he used for her here and there. She grinned, making her way to him, picking up her coffee on the way and wrapping her hands around the mug. _

"_It's actually the breakfast of champions. So eat up, I'm sure those surgeon hands of your could use a recharge," she said the last part softly and then sashayed her hips a bit as she moved across the kitchen to pick up Adam's bottle, and he knew what she was implying, smirking. He shook his head at her devilish ways before stabbing a few pancakes with a fork and moving them to his plate. He watched her cradle the baby in her arms and felt a great sense of pride wash over him. _

"_Are you going to have some?" He asked, taking a seat beside Aaron and kissing the top of his blonde head. She rocked back and forth of her feet gently as she fed the baby, her demeanor so relaxed Jack found it hard not to stare. She was made for motherhood, he thought. It fit her so well. _

"_I already did…" she trailed off, nudging her head in the direction of an empty plate by the griddle. _

"_She had four!" Aaron exclaimed, counting everything his new favorite game. Jack's eyes widened in surprise as he looked from his excited son, holding up four fingers to his petite wife, who had an expression resembling someone who had gotten caught with their hand in the cookie jar. _

"_Did she?" Jack grinned at her from across the bar as she shrugged. "Where exactly do you put all that?" He laughed, always amazed she could eat as much as him, if not more, and not gain a pound. _

"_If you did what I do all day, you wouldn't have to worry about your weight. Not to mention, my morning runs have been consistent and satisfying." She grinned at him, and he nodded his appreciation for her slimmer, fitter body since having Adam. She'd been working hard and he always made sure to show her how good he thought she looked, no matter what. _

"_I guess you can splurge today," he joked, as she caught glimpse of his plate. _

"_Aaron, how many pancakes does Daddy have on his plate?" She chided, her voice laced in laughter. Aaron peaked to the side, counting the stack, not realizing he was about to tattle on his father. _

"_Five!" he exclaimed holding up his hand with his fingers extended. She raised both her eyebrows at the gorgeous man sitting across from her and he blushed a deep crimson. _

"_What? You told me to recharge, I'm recharging. If anything, I'm sure I'll need it later," he paused as her face turned red too, and a warning look slid across her face, "with all the yard work I have to do." He supplied at the end to make the admission innocent. Aaron wasn't listening anyway, counting the cups on the table, and the forks on the counter. _

"_Yeah, yeah. We'll see about this yard work you promised. I have a feeling I might find you napping after you eat those pancakes." Kate grinned, kissing his cheek as she placed the now full baby back in his seat. Adam wore a content expression, lying comfortably in his chair. Kate rubbed his full belly gently before turning her head and catching her lips in a kiss with Jack. _

"_You taste like chocolate," she giggled as Jack licked his lips. _

"_You taste like coffee. My two favorite things mixed together. Mmm," he replied, sipping his own cup he had yet to drink from. She laughed at him, kissing his temple. "Love you, babe," he called as she walked into the living room to open the screen door and let some fresh air in to their beautiful home. _

"_Love you too, Jack." Her voice was heavy with laughter as she walked away, relishing in the days like this when it was just the four of them and it felt as though everything were perfectly right with the world._

_**END FLASHBACK**_

A knock came at Sawyer's door early the next morning, and he opened the door to reveal a thoughtful Jack, his eyes appearing dark from lack of sleep.

"Hey Sawyer, you have a minute?" He asked, walking in to the house through the open door. Sawyer shrugged.

"Sure, Doc," Jack sat down on the couch in Sawyer's living room and Sawyer took a seat in his armchair. "What's going on?"

"Where's Daniel Faraday?" It was now that Sawyer noticed the leather bound book in Jack's lap and he became weary of where this conversation was going.

"He's not here anymore. Where'd you get that?" Sawyer leaned forward in his chair, surveying the book that he knew to be Faraday's journal.

"Where'd he go?" Jack asked, fearing he was dead, and couldn't ask him the questions he needed to. "Is he dead?"

"I don't think so." Sawyer removed his reading glasses and ran a hand over his face. "See, after y'all left, there were all these flashes, and long story short, we moved through time several times. During one of those flashes, we ended up in the 1970's, when Dharma and the sub were still hear, or back here, or whatever. And we had the opportunity to leave on the sub. Juliet and I stayed, along with Miles, Jin and everyone else. But Faraday left on the sub for Ann Arbor. I don't know if he made it or not. But he chose not to stay here." Jack ran an exasperated hand over his head and sighed heavily. Sawyer's eyebrows knitted together. "Why?"

"In his journal…. there's…I think there's a way to get everyone safely off the island." He began, flipping pages. Sawyer's eyes widened and he watched Jack wearily.

"Doc, I hate to knock on your ego, but you're a doctor and he's a scientist. How is it you understand anything written in there?" Jack sighed.

"I don't exactly, not everything. But there are a few things I do understand, and there are different bearings for getting to and from the island, and I just think, if you'd hear me out, that this will work. Just listen, I really believe this could work." Jack's eyes pleaded with Sawyer for the opportunity to tell him his idea, and Sawyer leaned back in his chair.

"All right, Doc. Tell me your plan." His voice was almost kiddingly sarcastic and though Jack heard the tone, he jumped on the moment, diving into the information found in the small book.

* * *

"I'll climb up and drop them down, you can pick them up." Kate handed Juliet the bag for the fruit they were collecting.

"I can climb up there, too, Kate," she started for the base of the tree, but Kate stopped her with a knowing smile.

"You're pregnant, Juliet. Let me do the climbing." Juliet succumbed to Kate's request, watching the smaller woman climb to the tall tree, tossing down the fruit they were collecting for the group. Juliet also wanted a few minutes alone with Kate to talk about a few things.

When Kate dropped to the ground finally, from the tall tree, she helped Juliet finish collecting all the fruit, settling it into the bags they had brought. Juliet took a deep breath while a few feet away from Kate and spoke softly.

"When did you get pregnant?" She asked, her attempt to bond with the brunette making her slightly nervous. Kate peered up at Juliet, who's back was to her, and answered after a beat.

"It was October, I think. I was due in March." She replied, her heart tightening at the thought of her baby at home without her.

"Did you like being pregnant?" Juliet made her way over to Kate, clutching the bag to her chest, and for the first time Kate could see the hardening mound under her clothes. Kate smiled at the sight and at the thought. She nodded.

"I did, actually. I was sick at first, but it was kind of exciting. It's crazy to think there's a little being growing in there. Jack and I had just gotten engaged, so Adam was not planned at all. But he was so happy when I told him. It just felt right."

"Did you ever think about having an abortion?" The words were soft as Juliet asked them, and Kate immediately felt sympathy for the blonde woman.

"No, I didn't. But I wasn't in the same position as you," she offered, comfortingly. Juliet nodded, her eyes filling with tears. "How are you feeling?" Kate asked gently, leaving the question open for interpretation, open for whatever Juliet wanted to confide.

"I wasn't sick at all, which I thought was interesting, as a fertility doctor and all. But overall, I've felt fine. Just nervous and anxious all the time. Before you guys got here, I had _no_ idea what I was going to do. Do you really think we will leave?" They caught each other's eyes and Kate nodded, not even taking a moment of hesitation.

"Yes. We have to. I have my babies back home, and you need to have yours. Trust Jack, Juliet. If anyone can find a way, it's him. He got us off once, he can do it again."

"But last time there was a ship, and a helicopter, and some semblance of rescue. This time there's nothing. We don't have a plane, or a boat, or anything." Tears began streaming as Kate pulled Juliet to her. She knew the woman must be anxious out of her mind, carrying a child in a place where that wasn't physically possible, with a man who, until yesterday, had been adamant he would not leave no matter what. Kate rubbed the older woman's back, trying to sooth her as she prayed Jack had a real plan, a concrete plan, something that might actually work.

* * *

"You aren't serious?" Sawyer's voice was exasperated as he paced his living room floor. Jack sat perched on the seventies style couch, watching the blonde man, his eyes pleading.

"I think it's the only way. We need to find the plane, find if there are any other survivors. Then I'll execute the rest of the plan while you get everyone on the plane."

"I know what the plan is, Doc, but we don't know that this is going to work. What if there is no plane? What if it crashed in the ocean?" Sawyer's voice was hushed, though he knew no one was listening. Kate and Juliet were hiking for fruit and no one else in the compound was aware of the situation yet. Jack went to Sawyer because these were Sawyer's people now, and Jack needed his support.

"What if? This is why we have to go out and look for it. And we'll take everyone with us. That way, if it's out there, we waste less time, and we're all safer together." Jack stood as Sawyer handed the leather bound book back to him.

"What if you're wrong, Jack?" Sawyer's hand rested on the book as Jack held the other side. Jack looked down at the journal before looking back up at Sawyer.

"I'm not." The answer was self assured and secured any doubt in Sawyer's mind that Jack didn't know what he was doing. That didn't save him from still worrying in the back of his mind, but judging by the presentation Jack had just put on, explaining something crucial he had just found in Daniel Faraday's journal, something he was sure would save them from the island, and the island from affecting anyone ever again.

"Well, what are we waiting for then? I'll go tell everyone to get their things together." Sawyer began for the door, but Jack stopped him briefly.

"Make sure you tell them you advise them to come with us. Because if they don't and they stay here…," Sawyer knew what Jack was implying and nodded silently, opening the door to his house and making his way house to house. Jack stood on Sawyer's porch for a moment, sucking in a breath as his side bothered him painfully. It wasn't healed yet and he worried about what a hike might do to the healing wounds. Breathing deeply, he pushed the pain from his mind and proceeded down the stairs, catching Kate and Juliet coming out of the jungle, their bags full of ripe fruit. He gave Kate a small kiss, and she noticed the concentration on his face that didn't allow his smile to grow full.

"Hey," he started, rubbing Kate's arm affectionately. She watched him curiously. "We're gonna head out soon, so we need to get all our stuff together."

"When are we leaving?" Juliet asked, her voice a note higher in anticipation.

"First thing tomorrow. That gives everyone one more night of good sleep and to gather what they wish to take. We can't take a lot though, where we're headed isn't close and we don't want too much stuff slowing us down. Water, food, and a few items are enough." He dropped his hand from Kate's arm and nodded a goodbye before heading toward the house they shared. The women looked between each other before Juliet looked toward her own house.

"I'm going to go start packing." Kate nodded and made her way back to the house she was sharing with Jack, curious as to his plan and what exactly was about to happen.

* * *

Margo took a deep breath, knocking on the door to the shady apartment she was now at. She had traveled down to Oceanside in search of the one person she thought might be able to help her in the actual attempt at rescuing Jack and Kate. She heard a shuffle inside and then felt a presence on the other side of the door. She figured he was looking out the peep hole at her, and she had hope he'd open the door, the last thing she felt she looked like in her older age was a CIA agent. Sure enough, to her nervousness and delight, the door swung open, revealing an attractive, older gentleman. His eyes were questioning as she outstretched her hand.

"Frank Lapidus?" she questioned. Tentatively he took her hand, shaking it.

"Yes," he started. "And you are?"

"Margo Shephard." She replied. He welcomed her into the small apartment.

"What can I do for your, Ms. Shephard?" Frank asked curiously, unsure of who the woman before him was and what she needed. When she turned to face him though, her eyes were tortured and she looked like she might almost be about to beg him for something.

"My son is Jack Shephard. Do you know him?" Frank raised an eyebrow, unsure at first of where this was going.

"No, I don't, ma'am, I'm sorry." He lied. He'd been instructed to lie, when they were aboard the Searcher. He also knew that Jack had been on the recent Oceanic flight that had disappeared over the Pacific. He didn't want to let on that he knew anything.

"Yes, you do." She assured him. "He told me everything. About the Island. And I need your help."

"With?" Frank asked, unsure. Somehow, suddenly, the fact that the CIA had been knocking on his door daily and calling his phone made this all fit together like a puzzle. He knew what she needed.

"I need you to charter a plane to find my son." Margo was strong-willed and stood her ground as she stood before this man she didn't know, prepared to pay him anything for the deed.

"Ma'am, I apologize you made the trip here for this but I can't do that, I'm sorry. I have a job, and bills to pay, not to mention I'm not really interested in making a trip over the ocean to risk crashing just to find something I have no interest in finding."

"Mr. Lapidus, please. I'll pay you whatever you want, you have to understand. This is my son and his wife we're talking about. He has two young children. And according to the CIA, you know the bearings to the Island."

"I did know the bearings, ma'am. But the island isn't where it was when I left it." He sighed, pacing for a moment. "This isn't about money for me, Ms. Shephard. I'm sorry about your son, and Kate. I am. But I can't do this. I wouldn't even know how to go about doing it."

"Will you at least try? At least talk to Sayid about it?"

"With all do respect, I—"

"Do not say 'no' again. I need your help. Please, I'm asking you to help a mother bring her son home safely. Do you understand that? You know these people. You saved their lives once. Can't you do it just one more time?" Her eyes were pleading with him, and he could feel his resolve breaking. He had no children, and didn't understand where she was coming from directly, but he knew Jack and Kate. How could he just turn his back on them this time, when last time he had gone there to bring back survivors? He paced again for a moment, deep in thought and Margo held her breath while she waited.

"What's Sayid's number? I'll talk to him, and then I'll decide. I'm not promising anything, Ms. Shephard, but I'll think this through and let you know my decision." He regretted it almost immediately, but something inside him told him he probably wasn't making the wrong decision. Margo wrote her number down on a piece of paper, along with Sayid's and handed the man the sheet.

"Thank you, sir. Please, any expenses, the plane, the fuel, anything, I will pay them. Just let me know what you need." She shook his hand and finally a smile spread across her pretty face. "Thank you, Frank. Thank you." He nodded his admission and watched as she helped herself out of the apartment. Staring at the numbers, he felt anxious at the thought of calling Sayid Jarrah to offer his help with such a rescue mission. It could also be considered a suicide mission if he chose to look at it that way, as he had already crashed his chopper in the Pacific once and had lived to tell the tale, why would he do it again?

Sighing, he picked up the phone. At the end of the day, how would he be able to live with himself if he didn't try? He dialed Sayid's number and listened to the ring.

* * *

Kate opened the door to the house, and found Jack packing a bag in the kitchen, sliding medical supplies, towels, and water into two packs. She stood for a moment by the door to the kitchen before she proceeded toward him, moving in between him and the packs. He stopped, not quite looking at her, and she slid her arms around his waist, locking him into a hug. He slid his arms around her back and held her tightly, his chin resting next to her head. They stayed embraced for a moment, before Kate pulled back, surveying his face and trying to figure out his thoughts.

"What's the plan, Jack?" she asked quietly, leaning back against the table where the packs lay. He sighed and ran a hand over his head.

"We're going to head out toward the beach and hope the plane is there."

"Our plane?" She questioned. He nodded.

"Yeah, the one we flew in on. Hopefully it's in one piece. Maybe there are even other survivors." His easy-going demeanor seemed to have disappeared and Kate worried.

"What did you find in Faraday's journal? You didn't come to bed until late last night." Her fingers played with the belt loops of his jeans as she spoke.

"It has all sorts of stuff in it, but most importantly the possible bearings to get off the island." She nodded, looking down and then back up again. Her eyes searched his tired ones.

"And what if there isn't a plane?" She asked, dreading the answer. He rubbed her arms and flashed her a small, encouraging smile.

"We'll cross that bridge when we get to it." He countered, kissing her forehead reassuringly. "I'm going to finish packing these. Why don't you go see if you can find some better shoes? I don't know how long your sneakers will hang in there for a hike like this." He peered down at her worn shoes—they had been worn before the trip, and he wasn't sure they were the most suitable shoes for a hike like they were about to take. She nodded before reaching up to kiss him. He kissed her back momentarily before pulling away and continuing his packing. She stood next to him for a moment, trying to decipher his change in attitude, and then moved off, heading down the hall to Alex's former room to hopefully find something more suitable for her feet.

* * *

Juliet entered her house and could feel apprehension and excitement bubbling in her growing stomach. She needed off this island, so badly. And now she felt like she was about to have her chance. Her hand rested momentarily on her stomach, and she thought about the being growing inside her. She loved James so much, she couldn't wait to have his child. And now that they were getting off the island, they could consider getting married. The prospect made excitement grow within her. She never dreamed she get all she ever wanted and now, standing here with her hand on the mound that was their growing baby, she couldn't help but feel blessed. She was worried about the actual departure of the island, but she was determined. They had to do this, there was no other way.

* * *

Later that evening, Kate settled on the couch next to Jack, who had been distant from her all day. Jack was studying the journal and she recognized this man before her, it was the man from years ago, when he had been determined to rescue them the first time. He was calm, in control, and deep in thought. She reached a hand out onto his outstretched leg, and he rubbed his eyes, catching hers in the dim light.

"Reading without proper light will hurt your eyes," she jested, flashing him a cute smile. He gave her a small smile back before moving to a sitting position.

"I don't know how much reading I was doing, I think I was just staring at the words." He confessed. He closed the book before she could look inside.

"What were you thinking about?" She inquired, leaning against the plush material. He studied her a moment, searching her face with his dark eyes.

"Have I ever told you how beautiful you are?" his voice was husky, low, and his eyes bore into hers.

"Maybe. But I'm always game for hearing it again," she teased, a grin crossing her features. He leaned toward her, covering her sweet lips with his, a hand resting on her opposite hip. His affectionate attack didn't catch her off guard and leaned into him, sinking deeper into his kiss, enjoying him. Slightly roughly, he pulled her legs onto the couch, and laid her back, so her head rested just against the armrest, his arm coming up to catch it before she hit her head. The kiss became aggressive, heated as he searched for some sort of release, and she welcomed his kisses, taking him in, and meeting him with the same passion he was giving her. It was easy for Jack to get lost in Kate, to find himself unable to think of anything but her hands sliding into his jeans and her lips finding their way to his earlobe, and sucking intently. It was a welcome distraction from what they were about to do tomorrow, and he melted into her, as she pulled his clothing from him, and he rid her of her own. Lifting her naked body, he carried her to the bed they were using as their own, and tossed her gently onto, and what normally would elicit a giggle from her brought nothing but a look of need as he entrapped her with his long limbs, making sure she understood everything he felt for her, everything he had always felt for her. She took in every bit of him, never left wanting, and relished in his body against hers. He was prone to making these aggressive, passionate moves on her, but this time, for some reason, felt different to her, almost as if he needed her in ways he hadn't before. She allowed him to ravage every inch of her body, to take everything she had for him, and when they were spent, instead of rolling away from her, he stayed snuggled beside her, not moving, as if afraid to break the spell, and she stayed flush with his body, spent and tired, with no desire to be anywhere but lying beside him, his strong arms wrapped around her. He had promised to save her and he was making good on that promise, and it made her love him more than she thought she could love any man.

"I promise, Kate," his voice came through as a whisper, full of emotion, and though she couldn't see his face, she suspected he was tearing up, "I will get you home to Adam and Aaron."

"I know, Jack," She didn't roll toward him, mostly because she couldn't due to the tangle of limbs they were in, "Are you okay?" she whispered, worried.

"I'm fine." He sniffled slightly and she tried to fight the urge to sleep that was coming.

"Okay. I love you."

"I love you too," his words were quieter now, and she suspected he truly was all right, maybe just worrying about the next days' events, a trait he carried, and she fell asleep, wrapped in his strong arms, enjoying the warmth and love they washed her with. Jack fell asleep soon beside her, memorizing the feel of her naked body against his, her body radiating warmth to his. His anxiety was strong, getting to him, and he held his breath, counting slowly to five, as he did when he was fearing something, and as he reached five, he felt his heart slow to a similar beat as Kate's, and closed his eyes in sleep.

* * *

"Okay, so listen everyone, this is the plan," Jack began as everyone assembled in the courtyard of the Dharma houses. We're going to hike to the beach, and look for the plane that Kate and I came here on. I'm hoping it's in one piece. If it is, hopefully we can get it off the ground." There were many hushed whispers in the crowd before Bernard spoke up amongst the people.

"And what if there is no plane?" Jack looked thoughtful for a moment, before answering.

"Then I have something else we can try. But that's a last resort. We're going to be hopeful the plane is in fact there, and if it's not, well, we'll worry about that when it happens. Everyone ready?" People picked up their packs and bags, and Jack made his way to Claire, who was sitting idly on her front porch. "Claire, I'm going to ask you, as your brother, for you to come with us." He reached a hand out to her to help her stand but she just stared at it.

"You raised my son, Jack. I don't even know how to be a mother anymore. And what are you and Kate going to do, just give him back to me? He doesn't even know me." Her voice was harsh, but everything she spoke was truth. Jack took a deep breath, looking to Kate who stood off with Sawyer and Juliet, and then back to Claire.

"We'll help you Claire. We love you and want you to come with us. We took care of him for you, and with our help, you can get back what you lost." A single tear escaped Claire's eye and Jack felt his heart tighten a little. "Please, Claire, come with us. We want you to come home with us." Claire looked from Jack to Kate, and stood, with the help of Jack's hand. He smiled at her, satisfied in his convincing.

"All right. Let me get my bag." When she returned from the house, he wrapped a protective arm around her for a moment as they walked, giving her a tight squeeze. He'd never had a sibling, and he had felt guilty most of the time they'd been off the island for not having been able to save Claire. Now he had the chance to make it right and he wasn't about to let her stay behind again. When Claire reached Kate, she moved from Jack to embrace her. Kate was surprised at first, but hugged the younger woman back tightly. "I understand what you did. I'm sorry I didn't at first. Thank you for taking care of him." When she pulled back, she held her at arms length, and Kate felt herself glow with love for the young woman. "I guess you're my sister in law, now, huh?" Claire gave her a small smile and while a teary laugh, Kate nodded. She knew what she'd have to do with Aaron and Claire. It would hurt, more than anything had ever hurt her, but she had to do it. She squeezed Claire's hands before Jack told the group they were moving out, and they proceeded into the jungle. Kate for a moment felt disdain at the fact she knew how far they had to hike, and dreaded it. But then she decided to think of the fact she and Jack would be home with their family once again, and that thought alone could have propelled her from one side of the island to the other, knowing she would soon be safely at home with her husband and their babies. That was all she really wanted.

"So, Doc, what'd you tell her?" Sawyer asked quietly, when they were farther ahead of the group than the women. Jack didn't look directly at Sawyer, not wanting to bring any unwanted attention and not wanting his eyes to convey anything other than his stoic behavior.

"I told her we were going to the plane. And that I was getting her off the Island." Jack knew exactly who he was talking about and what he was implying. Sawyer paused a moment before continuing.

"Are you going to tell her?" He asked. Jack turned toward him for the first time, before looking back ahead of him.

"I don't know yet. We'll get to the plane, and then decide. I don't want to get too ahead of myself." Sawyer nodded again. "Don't tell her or Juliet, anything." Jack requested and Sawyer nodded silently.

"You got it, Doc." Jack's eyes said his thank you as they proceeded through the jungle.

* * *

Sayid paced his office as he waited for Frank to arrive. One the one hand, he was anxious and felt like he was making progress at finding this island and saving his friends and on the other hand, he felt angry with Margo for going behind his back. He had known immediately upon arriving to work that morning that Margo had kept Frank's file, ad had cursed to the high heavens, calling the woman several times with no answer. Come to find out, she had gone in search of Lapidus for herself, and though Sayid was upset with her decision, he now knew where Jack got his stubborn streak from. Margo Shephard was a force to be reckon with and she had passed that lovely trait down her her hard-headed son. And if Sayid knew Jack now, he was probably creating his own rescue on the island as they spoke, and that was why he and Lapidus needed to hurry. Picking up the things he would need, he strode down to the conference room he would be meeting Frank in, a neutral area where Frank wouldn't hear or see anything he wasn't supposed to. Sayid entered the room to find Frank lounging in one of the office chairs, clean shaven and in a nice suit. He stood to shake Sayid's hand and then they both settled into their chairs.

"I apologize Mrs. Shephard found you. I had no idea she would actually go to you." Sayid remarked, opening files and laying out maps.

"Oh, yeah, it's fine. She's quite a woman. She offered me any amount of money I wanted. I was surprised actually."

"That doesn't surprise me." Sayid began explaining everything he had told Margo to Frank, including, however, the plane they would supply him with, and everything he would need. What Frank needed to bring to the table were the bearings of the island.

"I don't know if you remember this, Sayid, but the island moved when we left. It may not be where it was when we left."

"But you have to try, Frank. Please. You'll have an Air Force cargo plane, fuel reserves, food, and water."

"Let me ask you something," Frank began after a pause in the conversation. Sayid nodded, looking weary, sure it was a complex answer. "Is this a personal endeavor for you or is this an agency-wide thing?"

Sayid was silent for a few moments, but it was long enough for Frank to know the answer. "I have all the resources I need here at the agency. This is a personal search and rescue mission because these are my friends and this needs to stop happening. Not only are you going to save Jack and Kate and Sawyer and Jin, and anyone else we left behind, but you are going to destroy the Island as well." Frank's jaw dropped a bit and he regarded Sayid, unsure.

"You're telling me you're going to give me a nuke or something to blow up this Island?" Frank reworded the statement to ensure that he understood. Sayid nodded.

"Yes. We need to make sure this can never happen again. I don't know if it'll be a nuke, or something more, but we need to figure out a way to destroy this island for the final time. Or move it, or whatever it was that happened last time. We cannot endanger any more lives by having planes crash over the ocean in that area. The amount of flack Oceanic and the FBI are getting for not being able to figure this out is enormous and I haven't told anyone the real story. This is why I need you and not some other random pilot. Please, Frank. I need your help to do this because I am not a pilot." He was pleading with Frank, much like Margo had, but Frank had already made his decision.

"Are you coming with me?" Frank asked curiously. Sayid shook his head.

"No, I can't get away. I am going to wait for you, however, in Guam. You'll fly there and then we'll escort them home by boat. That way they are undetected and no one will be asking questions. We're bringing people back from and Island where they're deemed to have died. We have to be careful as to not have conspiracy theories arising. People already suspect the five of us have been lying this whole time, introducing more people would just get messier. You'll pick them up and bring them to Guam, got it?"

"And what if they're not waiting for me in a place where I can see them? Or what if there isn't a place for me to land a big bird like that?" Frank expressed his concerns but Sayid shook his head.

"You're going to need to figure it all out as you go, Frank. Now here, put this on." Sayid reached down and handed Frank a bag.

"What is it?" Frank questioned, looking in the bag.

"It's an Air Force uniform. I'll take you to the plane and we'll get you off the ground, okay? You can communicate with me by your radio and this satellite phone." Sayid handed him the phone and Frank suddenly had a sense of dread.

"Where've I seen this before?" He spoke sarcastically as he dropped the phone into the bag.

"You will be compensated highly for this, I promise." Sayid stood and Frank stood with him.

"It's not about the money, Sayid. It's about our friends' lives. I'll do my best to bring them back." The men shook hands.

"Thank you Frank. Thank you for doing this. I'll take you to wear you can change and then I'll take you to your plane."

"Wait, I'm leaving today?" Frank spoke as he followed Sayid out of the conference room down the hall to a locker room. Sayid nodded, opening the door.

"Yes. As soon as possible. We don't have a large window of time here, Frank."

"What about the other plane? The other survivors?" Frank asked, stepping into the room.

"If there are any…" Sayid paused, thnking for a moment before continuing, "bring them home. If not, do not worry about the plane. Leave it where it is." Frank nodded as Sayid shut the door allowing him to change.

Frank followed Sayid to the large plane, an HC-130, and introduced Frank to his co-pilot, John Thomas, a pilot as well as an experienced search and rescue crewmember. Frank looked curiously at Sayid but Sayid assured him silently that this was the right decision.

Handing Frank his gear, Sayid shook his hand. "Thank you again Frank. Like I said, you can reach me on the plane's radio or the satellite phone."

"Just make sure you're near it when I call." Frank jested, a smirk across his features. Sayid nodded, before stepping away so that Frank and John could board the plane. Sayid hoped Frank could fly a plane as big as this without incident, and held his breath as it taxied to it's spot for it's turn to take off. He smiled to himself, feeling like they were close to finding his friends, and made a mental note to call Margo when he returned to his office. He wanted them home safely as much as Margo did, and just hope Frank could do that for them. Heading back to his office, he heard the large engine accelerate and knew it was time to book his flight to Guam.

* * *

Kate followed Jack silently. It had been hours since they had directly spoken and Kate couldn't help but feel unsure as to why that way. Making her way up to him where he lead the group, she lengthened her strides to match his.

"So what do you want to do first when we get home?" She offered, with a small smile. He replied with a mimic of a smile, not bothering to look her way but staying focused on the terrain.

"A long, hot shower with you would be great. And holding Adam while he falls asleep," he admitted, the words hitting Kate heavily. She felt her heart grow a little and smiled up at her husband.

"That sounds wonderful," she agreed, keeping pace with him. "I could definitely be okay with those things."

"I wouldn't mind sleeping for a week, either," this time he looked at her and she felt better, seeing the smile in his eyes and the grin on his face. She grinned back, unable to find words, and she decided that was okay. She just enjoyed the walk next to him through the luscious green leaves and trees of the jungle, and thought back to the last time they did this, when he had confessed he loved her. She wished she had said it then, wondering if it would have changed anything. But then again, she wondered, what was worth changing? They were together now, had gotten married, made a son, what could she possibly want to make different?

Deep in thought, she tripped, not watching her steps as she should have been, but Jack was immediately at her side, his hand gently grabbing her arm to keep her from falling.

"You okay?" He asked, his voice laced with concern. She could see in his searching eyes that he was worried about her, more deeply than a trip should cause.

"Yeah," she replied, giving a secure smile, "I just tripped is all. I'm fine." She stood for a moment, making sure her ankle was truly okay, and when Jack was satisfied, they began on again, making good time to the beach. He dropped back time and again to check on Juliet, in her delicate condition, but she was hanging in there, taking her time when she could, and drinking plenty of water, as Jack had supplied. Sawyer appreciated these gestures and silently thanked Jack.

The group made their way silently the miles to the beach, and it was sunset when they finally reached the broad spans of sand. What they saw was not what Jack had hoped for, however, as debris scattered the beach. Kate looked up to Jack, her eyes watering and searching his for answers, and she could tell by the way he pursed his lips and sighed deeply, he was disappointed. Devastation was evident throughout the crowd as they silently moved about the wreckage, which was a small amount compared to their first crash. Only a quarter of the plane could be identified and most of what they saw was just small pieces of the actual plane itself, nothing intact. Jack scoured for anything they could use or salvage, but there wasn't much. He reached Kate, who stood off away from the wreckage, facing the sea, and in the setting sun, embraced his wife, who's tears were more than noticeable against her freckled cheeks.

"Jack," she sobbed, as he held her, "that could have been us, we could have died." She cried into this soft tee shirt, holding on to him for dear life. He nodded and shushed her, trying to console her, but knowing it was no use. She needed to get the sorrow she felt for their situation out of her system and he had to simply hold her and comfort her while she did it.

"I know, babe. It's okay. You didn't die, you're fine," He pulled away from her and cupped her wet face, searching her eyes. "We're going to sleep here tonight, just like old times, and in the morning I'm going to figure out my next plan. Okay?" He held her arms, as he had so many times before, and she nodded at his words. He kissed her forehead and embraced her again. "The others are making a fire from what they could scrape together. I brought a blanket just in case we needed one. We'll sleep there, next to the fire, okay?" Kate nodded and they walked, his arm tightly around her shoulders, to the spot where the other survivors has begun their fire. Juliet took Kate from Jack and embraced her, comforting the woman, while also seeking comfort in the embrace herself. This was hard on everyone, they both knew, and sticking together was their only way out.

* * *

Jack awoke to a loud, thundering noise and tried hard to shake the sleep from his eyes. Letting go of Kate, Jack rolled to a sitting position, and caught Sawyer's eyes over the dwelling fire.

"What is that?" He asked quietly and rested a protective hand on Kate's hip as she roused from sleep. The sun was peaking over the horizon and though the beach was still somewhat dark, Jack could make out the shape of a large plane against the star-lit sky and immediately jumped to his feet, closely followed by Sawyer.

"Jack," Kate began, and Jack hushed her by raising his hand in her direction.

"We'll be back," Jack spoke loudly as the large plane flew directly over their heads. Jack took off running up the beach, Sawyer on his heels, the rest of the group watching as they tried to figure out what was happening. Heading into the jungle, the two men followed the sound, praying the plane landed safely and did not crash into the trees. Jack felt adrenaline course through his veins as he ran, listening to the whine of the plane's engines as it sounded closer and closer. Jack could feel his lungs stinging as they ran as fast as they could, and as they came upon a clearing, they stopped to peer at the giant plane that had successfully landed, albeit a few small mechanical issues, on the cement runway Sawyer remember building with Kate. Looking at the plane, Jack and Sawyer waited for the engine to wind down before moving to inspect it.

"I think we just found our plane," Jack remarked to Sawyer, a small smile on his lips. Crossing in front of the large flying machine, they inspected the small marks and dings of a hard landing, waiting for whoever was inside to appear from the door of the plane. Moving to the side with the door, Jack placed his hands on his hips and waited.

"Does it cross your mind they might come out here shooting at us? They might not exactly be here in peace…" Sawyer's words drifted off as the hatch to the plane flew open and a familiar face waved down to them.

"Well, hello boys," the man greeted Jack and Sawyer with a smile, "long time, no see." Dropping a mesh ladder, he climbed down, followed by a man they did not recognize. Jack couldn't help but give a relieved smile.

"What are you doing here, Frank?" he asked, his voice laced in disbelief.

"Ehh, I thought this would be a great place to vacation," he joked with a grin before patting Jack's broad shoulder. "I'm here to save your asses, what else do you think?"

"How'd ya get here?" Sawyer asked incredulously, his eyes still wide with shock.

"I remember the bearings from when I left the island the first time, and took a chance by following them back. It's not in the exact same place but we were able to find it. Jack, I'd like to ask you the same question." Frank pulled a bottle of water from his pack and took a sip while Jack explained.

"Our place…it crashed. I don't know how Kate and I made if off alive. The wreckage came up on the beach from the water. As far as we've seen, no other survivors." He felt grateful to some higher power he and Kate had survived.

"Where is everyone?" Frank question, looking behind the two men.

"On the beach. We were going to get the plane, which is clearly not there. We spent the night down there. You have great timing," Jack found him self breaking into a small laugh at how perfect this rescue was. As long as Frank could get it back into the air, that was. "Was your landing okay? Is the plane all right?" Jack asked, the plane his next concern.

"It was definitely a rough landing. Let me and John here look it over while you gather your friends. The less time on this rock, the better. Give me an hour or two to check her out and then we'll be on our way." He moved away, signaling Jack to follow him, and when they were out of earshot, by the tail of the plane, Frank paced for a moment, seemingly nervous. "Jack, I'm here to rescue you and your friends but there's also something else I'm supposed to do. Sayid, who coordinated this whole rescue mission, wants me to destroy the island. I'm not exactly sure how I'm supposed to go about this. He gave me a nuclear bomb, it's lying in the cargo hold of the plane. I'm supposed to use it but I'm not sure what the best way—" Jack interrupted the man's explanation, surveying the area around them.

"I don't think a bomb is a good idea. Because if we don't get off the island before it blows, it'll take us with it." He moved closer to Frank, and his eyes were downcast for a moment before he locked eyes with the older man. "I have a plan, Frank. I'll take care of the island, just get everyone on the plane."

"Jack, don't play hero now," he warned. "Get on the plane with your friends and we'll blow this bitch up, okay? Let's just do that, okay?" Frank spoke forcefully, trying to convince Jack. But as anyone knew with Jack, when he had made up his mind, he had made up his mind. There was no changing his plans.

"A bomb is too much. I know what to do. Get the plan checked. You're leaving in a little under two hours." Asserting his leadership position, he strode off toward Sawyer, who was helping Frank's co-pilot check the hydraulics in the nose landing gear. "Come on, Sawyer, let's get the other's."

"Jack, I really think you need to tell her before you do this," Sawyer pleaded, catching up on how close things were to coming to a head. Jack shook his head in disagreement.

"Not yet. Lets just get everyone on the plane, okay?" As they moved hurriedly back through the jungle to the beach, thoughts flashed through Jack's head. He knew what he had to do, it was the right move. Kate would understand that.

Reaching the beach, Kate ran through the think sand to her husband, but he didn't embrace her as she'd expect. Instead, he looked down upon her with a small smile before turning to the group. "That's our rescue plane, everyone. Get your things, we're taking you to it."

"Jack, how'd someone find us?" Kate asked curiously as Jack picked up his own things, and handed Kate hers."

"It's Frank." He replied with a half smile. Kate's face lit up in surprise.

"How'd he find us?" She asked incredulously, sliding her pack on her back and moving her hair to one side so it didn't pull.

"He remembered the bearings. I guess Sayid sent him after us. I don't know the whole story but I'm sure we'll get it. Right now, we need to get everyone on that plane." He was walking away from her to Sawyer and she followed, unsure. "Sawyer," he called, out to the blonde man, who moved to meet him in the middle of where they'd both been standing. "We've got about two hours to get the plane off the island. Think you can have everyone set to go by then?" Sawyer's eyes flickered to Kate who was making her way up behind Jack, before nodding. "Yeah, I can." The men shared a look and suddenly dread enveloped Kate's heart.

"What, what are you talking about?" she grabbed Jack's bicep around, pulling him to face her. Jack look down and stepped back before looking up at her, meeting her eyes.

"I've got a few things I need to take care of, Kate. That's all." He gave her a small smile but she shook her head.

"That is not all, Jack. Tell me what Sawyer knows." Her voice was tense as Sawyer moved off to coordinate the group to head into the jungle, but Kate blocked Jack in the sand, not letting him move further. He sighed heavily and ran a hand over his forehead.

"Tell the boys I love them okay?" Jack couldn't meet her eyes and panic coursed through her veins.

"You'll tell them yourself when you see them. What are you even talking about?" Her eyes were wide with distress as she stared at the man before her, her husband, as she tried to say goodbye to her and their children, though she couldn't understand where this was all coming from,.

"Kate, this can't keep happening. People can't keep crashing here, dying here. We have to stop this." His voice was strained, and Kate suspect whatever he was about to do was not easy, and nor would she approve. "In Faraday's journal, I read something about a wheel, in one of the Dharma stations, the Orchid. If pushed one way, the wheel can move the island. There's an exit point in Tunisia. I'll meet you there." He rushed his explanation and the words barely settled with her.

"Wait, I don't understand, Africa? What's in Africa? A wheel, what are you—" Her eyes were wide with panic, and it suddenly dawned on her it didn't matter what the facts were, it mattered that he was telling her he wasn't coming. "Jack, wait, you're not staying here, you're coming home with me!" She moved closer to him, grasping his hand, and she could see the reluctance in his stance, on his face, as he peered down at her, as if thinking about changing his mind.

"You need to get Claire on that plane, Kate." Jack spoke softly, as if trying to reassure her. Tears filled Kate's eyes.

"No, I'm not leaving without you." Kate felt furious with Jack for not telling her this until now, but it all made sense, his demeanor the day before, the passionate way he had loved her, he had known this was coming. She found it unfair she hadn't been prepared.

"Kate, you have to. She needs Aaron." He moved closer to her, to comfort her as tears spilled down her cheeks.

"No, Jack, I'm not going." She rested her head against his chest and he ran a comforting hand over her hair, over and over, resting his chin against her forehead.

"Who will take care of Adam then?" His voice was soft as he pulled at her heartstrings, but he knew he had to get her on that plane.

"You will when you get home. With me. Don't do this, Jack, just leave the island be." Kate pulled back shaking her head, unable to believe he actually wanted her to get on that plane without him.

"I have to, Kate." He brushed a loose curl from her face. "Tell them I love them, okay?" He needed her to say yes, needed to know they would always know he cared.

"Jack…" her voice broke as the tears spilled. "Please…Promise me I'm gonna see you again." She held her breath as she waited for his answer but it never came. His face was apologetic, and his eyes were sad, and it made a piece of her heart break.

"Don't make me make a promise I can't keep, Kate." His voice was shaky as he watched her.

She pulled his head down with her hand and took in his lips in one of the deepest kisses they had ever shared, as she poured her heart and soul into him, and he into her, his arms wrapped tightly around her petite waist. When she pulled back, she tried one more time, though it would prove futile, to ask him to come. "Jack, please, come with me." Her sobs broke his heart, but he knew what he had to do.

"Kate, we have to go," Sawyer interrupted, calling as he got near. He reached them before Jack could answer Kate, and he thanked Sawyer silently for his timing. Reaching across Kate, he extended his hand to Jack. "Thanks Doc, for everything." Jack nodded, appearing stoic, as he shook the other man's hand.

"Thank you, James." Sawyer nodded, stepping off as Kate moved back in to Jack, resting her hand by the wound on his side.

"I love you," she cried, knowing she had to go if this was what was going to happen. Against his own will, he embraced her again, fiercely.

"I love you," was his honest, heartfelt admission. When he released her, he stepped back, running his finger along her jaw line and tapping her chin before he turned away from her. He began down the beach, in the opposite direction of the rest of the group, and Kate watched him for a moment, silent sobs breaking free from her lips, before Juliet grasped the younger woman's arm, pulling her forth, into the jungle, toward the plane. Claire reached for her hand, and Kate took it, almost numb to anything around her expect the pain of the unsureness of what had just happened.

Arriving at the plane, the survivors climbed into it, one by one, up the ladder. Kate stood off to the side, letting everyone go before her, contemplating running off in the jungle to find Jack, to stay with him. She was torn between her babies at home, and Jack somewhere out in the jungle, and she felt it an unfair pull. Sawyer moved to her, touching her arm gently, as to not break the spell. "Come on, freckles," he urged softly, pulling her slightly. She looked up at him with her tear filled eyes and he stopped for a moment, bringing her to his chest. After the smallest of embraces, he let her go, pulling her to the plane and helping her climb the steep, unsteady ladder. She settled into a seat beside Claire, who looked almost as equally apprehensive as Kate felt.

"What if he doesn't want me?" She whispered, and Kate peered to her right where Claire sat, gently squeezing her hand.

"I'll help you. We'll do it together." She wasn't sure how she'd handle losing Aaron, but those thoughts were hard to come by as Frank prepared for take-off, leaving Kate's husband behind by choice. The two women shared a look before the plane spun slowly and began its powerful acceleration down the short runway. Kate closed her eyes and leaned her head back against the seat, deciding that the next thing she would be doing was flying to Tunisia to await her husband's arrival, like he'd said before their goodbye. Something about an exit point, she remembered, not completely sure of what that was, but holding on to if for dear life, nonetheless.

"This is your captain speaking," Frank began, speaking over the intercom, "We are making our way to 30,000 feet and making our way around the island, heading to Guam. We will be there in—what the hell—" his transmission was cut off in the middle of his words as he looked out his windshield at the Island before him, breaking apart. Every leaned to their windows, Kate leaning over Claire, and she gasped deeply as waves broke on the tallest of the cliffs of the island.

Leaning back in her seat, she searched for Sawyer, behind her, and called out to him. "Sawyer, what's happening? The island's not supposed to sink!" She cried, looking back out the window of the plan at the waves covering the beach. A sudden rush of panic covered her and she realized she didn't know if Jack would survive. "No," she sobbed, her hand scratching at the glass. "Jack," she whispered closing her eyes as her heart shattered in two.

* * *

_Not quite 20,000 words, but I took out some scenes after my final edit because it was just too long and over-running itself. I'll post them as missing scenes if I feel they're justified in posting. There is a scene between Sawyer and Juliet I'll post that will be cannon and would have taken place during this chapter, but I didn't want to take away from Jack and Kate during this chapter. I'll post it as a missing scene in the days to come, giving this one the attention for a little bit. Hope no one is disappointed with the length, or the chapter itself. Remember, good or bad, reviews are love. Please leave one. This chapter was a huge effort for me, and I hope everyone can at least appreciate that._

_Thank you Stef23.51 for all your knowledge, encouragement, and for helping me plot this out, I hope I did it justice._

_Thank you forever-erica for your tumblr posts, I need the encouragement last night, I was feeling pretty unable to write this massive chapter. So thank you for coming to the rescue before I abandoned it._

_**And to everyone else, thank you for all your fantastic reviews, for this chapter in advance, and always. I write for you all. Thank you for always supporting and reviewing. I can't wait to read the reviews for this chapter, hope I did everything justice. **_


	51. Chapter 49

Chapter 49, Part III

_Sorry for the delay, couldn't get the chapter worded the way I wanted, and I've been super busy :( Hopefully you all enjoy this chapter. I PROMISE you will be rewarded if you keep reading. _

_Blue-You were my 600th review! *squee* Thank you so much for reviewing, and for an insightful one at that! I do plan to continue this story, and you definitely hit some things right on the head with your review...but I can't say which and what because I want them to be a surprise *hehehe*. Thank you again for reviewing, and I hope you are pleased with the direction I go in. _

_And thank you to EVERYONE who reviewed. You make it so much fun to write this story for you, I love reading all the interpretations and thoughts about this story. I really hope, in the end, you all are pleased with there I took this story. Please hang in there, PLEASE...you will be rewarded, I just cannot elaborate how, just yet. _

* * *

Kate stared off into the dark abyss of the South Pacific Ocean as they sailed toward Los Angeles. Her heart was in her throat, as it had been for at least 15 days, since they had landed in Guam on the Air Force plane Frank had rescued them with. Her knees were tucked tightly to her chest, her wild curls blowing in the breeze, and though she was clean and in new clothes, her thoughts couldn't escape her last sights of the Island and her goodbye with her husband.

She had cried for most of the flight to Guam, Claire, suffering her own worry and distress, had cradled Kate's head against her shoulder, trying her best to comfort the devastated woman. Her tears had dried, mostly from exhaustion and shock as they landed in Guam, Sayid meeting them at the secluded airfield under CIA secrecy. He explained that he had managed to keep documents containing the manifest of the flight Jack and Kate had been on from being allowed into the press' hands, and therefore only the CIA and FBI knew Kate had been on that plane. He asked where Jack was as soon as they de-planed, and she told him what had happened, this time no tears escaped her swollen eyes, her heart dropping at his sympathetic look and embrace. He had comforted her for a moment before turning to the group and explaining their next move.

Since the rest of the group were survivors from flight 815, they needed to be escorted back to the US undetected. A Coast Guard boat would take them to LA, and they were to be shuttled in their separate directions, free to move on as they wished. In some cases they would be given new identities, Sayid explained, as people would wonder how they had survived if they were recognized. Sayid told them if they had any issues, to contact him as soon as they could, and he would handle any rebuttals. They all showered and received new clothing, and then boarded the ship they would call home for the 30 days it took to get to Los Angeles, allowing Sayid time to draw up documents containing identities, and anything needed to keep them safe and under the radar. Jin would meet Sun in LA, who was informed of Jin's return by a phone call by Sayid. Sayid had also made the call to Margo, explaining that Kate would be returning by ship to LA and could meet her at the navy shipyard. When asked about Jack, Sayid played the situation down, hoping, as Kate had said, he would be in Tunisia. Promising to bring him back but not risking her life, Sayid boarded a plane for Tunisia, as they boarded the ship for LA, assuring Kate he would keep her updated of the situation. Reluctantly, Kate had agreed, having an overpowering need to see her children, and to hold Adam, her closest flesh to Jack, close to her.

The last 15 days on the boat had been torture, almost. The meals were satisfactory and the crew was very accommodating, but no good news from Sayid was breaking her heart piece by piece, day after day. She didn't know how to move past not knowing if Jack would arrive home when she did, or what she would do if he didn't.

A small touch to her elbow came as a surprise, but her eyes didn't leave the sea as the southern drawl spoke to her.

"Freckles, when was the last time you ate?" Sawyer asked, concerned, settling down next to her in the darkness.

"Earlier." Was her quiet response and he dropped his eyes to his lap, folding and refolding his hands. He had known this would happen, when Jack had explained his plan to him. She was receding inside herself. He had seen the anger and disappointment in her eyes when Sayid had not allowed her to travel to Tunisia, but he had agreed. She needed to go home to Adam, and to sort the situation with Aaron out. Jack would arrive when Jack arrived, if he did, as Sawyer worried down deep. He worried the doctor wouldn't be there to greet Kate off the ship, and he worried what would happen if he didn't. He would look out for her as best he could, but once he arrived back in town with Juliet, he didn't know where their life would take them. They needed jobs, and money, a place to live. He would watch out for Kate as best he could amongst all that, but Juliet had to come first now. Carrying his baby, she needed his attention, first and foremost. Kate was strong, he knew that. He just hoped she remembered it.

"Kate, you need to eat," he nudged her gently, but her gaze never faltered.

"I'm not hungry, Sawyer. I'll eat later." She was set in her ways and he sighed heavily. There was no use in trying to convince her to eat; she was about as stubborn as they came. He would just have to accept that she would take care of herself.

"Don't worry, it'll all work out for the best," Sawyer comforted, rubbing the petite woman's back. She didn't lean into him, simply kept her knees tucked and her eyes strained out to the dark sea. She was different from the Kate he had known in the beginning; the Kate who would take on anything, no matter how dangerous, and never allowed anyone to see that she really cared about someone else. She always tried to appear indifferent, but he had always known better. Now, however, everything she felt was displayed on her distraught features, and she made it clear she had grown and changed from independent to dependent.

"Yeah," her voice was cold and tired, and he could tell from the circles under her eyes, she probably wasn't sleeping. He stared at her for a moment before standing.

"All right, I'll leave you be. Don't stay out here to long, you'll catch cold." He turned to go, and worried about the young woman he left behind on the deck.

Kate sat in her spot, worrying, not even noticing Sawyer's departure. Her heart lay in her chest, beating wildly every time she thought of him, her anxiety strong. Where was he? Was he safe? Was he on his way home? So many unanswered questions pegged her mind, and she tried over and over again to comprehend their last few minutes together. She tried so hard to understand all that had happened, what his plan had been, but in the end, as much she knew she was supposed to support him, like their marriage vows said, she was angry because she didn't understand why he would choose to leave their family and risk his life doing something so drastic. She understood his nature, his desire to 'fix' certain things, but why this? Why now? She hugged her knees tighter as a tear slid down her cheek. All she could do was keep hoping and praying he'd be on that dock when they arrived in LA. She couldn't think past that moment.

* * *

The last fifteen days were the longest of Kate's life, she was sure of it. As she stepped down the steep ramp that was secured from the large vessel to the military dock, her breath was hitched, praying she'd see a familiar face as she disembarked. Her eyes were wide, scanning the surrounding area, and hoping with more hope than she ever thought she had, that Jack would be waiting just around a corner, and making his way to her right at that moment.

When she rounded the corner, however, Margo met her instead, the woman's long, black raincoat covering her immaculate clothing from the rainy Los Angeles weather. Her eyes were warm and had a weary tint as she turned from Sayid to face Kate, absorbing the young woman in. She wrapped her arms around Kate, who, thankful for the familiar face in her normal life, embraced her. This time was so much different than the last, she thought sadly to herself, as the mother of her husband held her tightly. Kate abruptly pulled back though when she realized the person she most needed to see wasn't standing beside his mother.

"Where's Jack?" her voice held the worry as her eyes moved from Margo to Sayid. Margo's eyes were sad and understanding, while Sayid's look apologetic.

"Kate, I had teams patrolling the whole country looking for Jack. I'm not sure how he was supposed to end up there, but he never did. We looked everywhere." As he spoke, Kate's heart dropped to her feet. She shook her head adamantly. "Kate, I'm so sorry." He tried to touch her arm gently but she pulled away harshly.

"No. He has to be there, we have to go back and look for him!"

"Kate, sweetie—" Margo reached for the distraught wife of his lost son but she yanked away and Margo could easily read the pain across her features.

"No! He's not gone. We have to go find him!" She needed to get there herself, if she could just get to Tunisia, then maybe she could find him. She was convinced. Sawyer stood off with Juliet and the rest of the survivors and moved quickly to Kate's side.

"Sayid, you mean you didn't…," Sayid shook his head, defeat across his features, and Sawyer looked to Kate and recognized the wild, determined look she held.

"Freckles, I'm so sorry," his voice was gentle as he pulled her into his arms. She settled there, still shaking her head slightly.

"No, no, this isn't happening, he's still out there. We have to find him." Her voice was quiet now, and it was evident shock was settling in. Sawyer rubbed her back for a moment, exchanging a glance with Sayid.

"I have the base there keeping an eye out for him. If he shows up, I'll be the first to know." He couldn't tell her Jack was dead, he had no proof. But in his heart, he didn't know where else the man would be, besides on the bottom of the ocean with the Island.

Margo reached out for Kate and Kate stepped back from Sawyer, her eyes still wide with unsureness. She nodded at Sayid before Claire moved around Sawyer. The issue of Jack set aside, but not forgotten, Kate introduced Claire to Margo, emotionless.

"Margo, this is Claire Littleton, Aaron's real mother. Claire, this is Jack's mother, Margo Shephard." The two woman assessed each other, Claire clearly intimidated by the dark-haired woman. But surprisingly, to Kate and Claire, Margo pulled the blonde woman into a hug, embracing her tightly.

"I'm so sorry for all you've been through," Margo spoke quietly. Claire wasn't sure how to respond to the embrace, but softened against Margo, accepting it. When she had learned she and Jack were siblings, she had always felt remorse and anger toward Christian for not taking care of her like he had Jack, and for doing what he did to his real wife and child. Her mother and Christian had never been married, she had been an accident, but had always longed for him to love her like she thought fathers should. Now it made sense though, knowing he'd had another family. And now, being embraced by Jack's mother made it all the more real for her. When Margo pulled back, she looked over the blonde woman, and gave her a tearful smile. "It's so nice to finally meet you." Margo could see Christian in the Claire, and it broke her heart a little to know that he, along now with her son, was still gone. For all the things he'd done, she still missed him like hell. Being married to someone for over 40 years could do that to a person. Claire nodded, giving the taller woman a small, but bright smile.

"Thank you. It's nice to meet you as well." After another moment, Margo's attention turned back to her daughter-in-law, who was watching, tears streaming down her face, the tearful reunion between Jin and Sun Kwon.

They were embracing, crying, and speaking words only they understood. Ji Yeon stood quietly behind Sun, and a sob escaped Kate's throat as Jin bent to the little girl and she tentatively moved into his arms, tears streaming down his own face. A hand covered her mouth as Margo moved to her side, wrapping an arm around Kate's small shoulders.

"That's supposed to be Jack and Aaron," she cried, fresh tears spilling down her blotchy cheeks. Margo could feel her own tears coming, but tried to hold them back for Kate. Sayid had explained to her all they had been through, and she knew that saying goodbye to Jack must have been the hardest thing Kate had ever done. She wasn't sure she could believe Jack was still alive, but she didn't want to accept his death either. She'd already had one memorial service for him, were they supposed to put on another?

"I know, baby, I know," She comforted Kate, pulling her into a tight embrace. There was something about Margo that had always been so supportive and comforting for Kate, and right now she was glad for their relationship as she cried into her mother-in-law's shoulder. How could this have happened? How could Jack have done this to her? She couldn't believe he was dead, not now, not yet. This wasn't happening. How could he have just left her alone like this? He had a son, a life with her. She couldn't control the cries as she sobbed, and for a moment felt all the hope and life she had drain out of her. Without him, who was she?

* * *

When Margo opened the door to her house, the light in the living room was the only light on. Veronica stood from the couch as Kate, Claire, and Margo made their way into the house. Veronica embraced Kate, before Kate quickly moved off and up the stairs to the guest room where the children were asleep. Veronica, concerned, looked to Margo, her eyes questioning and Margo simply shook her head. Veronica's head dropped in sympathy for a moment before Margo introduced their house guest to the nanny, who she then paid for her time. Veronica said her goodbyes and left the devastated family to their own turmoil as she exited the house. Margo made Claire a cup of tea as they let Kate mourn for a few moments by herself.

Kate opened the door to the guest bedroom and stopped in her tracks. Aaron was sleeping soundly in the light blue covered bed, and Adam was snuggled beside him in the crib Margo had bought for her house when Adam had been born. Kate could feel the warm prickle of new tears as she watched the babies sleep, feeling as though a gaping hole lay in her heart. Closing the door, she wanted a few more moments with Aaron alone, before she knew she would have to begin helping the relationship between him and Claire, his biological mother. The term hurt Kate's heart. Things would be easier if Jack were here, she thought silently as she touched the boy's blonde hair. Sitting next to him on the bed, she ran a hand over his soft head and down his face, touching his soft, little ear. The small light next to the bed illuminated the small child's face, and she wondered what he thought of her, them, since they had never called him while they were gone. Her heart actually hurt as she stared at her baby, Claire's baby. She had no idea how they would get through this, how she could ever explain to a four year old that she wasn't his real mother, though she was the only one he knew. Tears cascaded down her pale cheeks as she stared at the blonde child. Closing her eyes tightly, she wished none of this had happened. Their trip, leaving the children alone, any of it. She wanted her husband back, wanted to keep her son, and wanted to go on living their wonderful, _normal _life. Holding in a sob, she sniffled, standing, moving to Adam's crib and staring down at his small, angelic face. Touching the soft fuzz on his head, she realized how much he truly looked like Jack. He had her nose, but he carried Jack's eyes, and the shape of his face. His hair, or what he had so far, was dark like Jack's, and she knew he would be a spitting image of his father. It killed her inside, not knowing if he would ever meet Jack. She didn't want to think about it, wanted to pretend Jack would walk through the door any minute. At this moment, in all her devastation as she stared at her babies, all she could think was how much she missed Jack already and how he wouldn't be there for all of the important things in their lives. Adam was only 6 months old, he would never even grow up knowing his father. As she cried, she slowly sunk to the floor, snuggling Aaron's discarded toy Shamu close to her chest. It reminded her of when they'd purchased it for Aaron, bringing a fresh set of tears to her eyes. She couldn't even take in what had happened. Closing her eyes, and holding her head on the plush animal, she sobbed for all that she had, didn't have, and the uncertainty of it all. Where was he? Was he coming back? Her fear and anger flooded her and she cried because of it. She didn't know what to do.

Margo shuffled around the house, setting up the other guest bedroom for Claire, allowing the younger woman to settle into her unfamiliar surroundings alone with her tea. It was awkward, there was no doubt, but she wasn't ready to bond with the young woman yet. She made her feel welcome, told her to feel at home, and she would do anything to achieve that, however she wasn't ready to have the conversations yet. She was still mourning inside over he son. Sayid had called her many times while he was in Tunisia, and she had been prepared for the news when he had explained what had happened. In her mind, her son was a hero, whether dead or not. It devastated her, as it did Kate, to think he was dead, and she was having trouble believing it was true. She'd shed her tears, and was trying to be strong for her daughter in law, who she knew was going to crumble if it was in fact true he wasn't coming back. Thought put a pain through her heart and she paused to compose herself. She wanted to be mad at him for doing this again, and kept hoping he'd walk through the front door and she could yell at him and tell him how inappropriate it was to scare people so close to him like this, but he was worried it wouldn't happen. Making her way up the stairs to look after Kate, she prayed for strength for the young woman. She knew they would have to figure out a solution with Aaron and Claire. She knew that would have happened whether Jack had come back or not, but now Kate had to live with the disappearance of her husband and the difficult situation of possibly having to part with the child she had raised. Sighing, she pushed open the ajar door, and leaned against the doorframe at what she saw. Kate was curled up on the floor, a stuffed whale against her chest, sound asleep, the children sleeping in their respective beds. Shaking her head at the unfortunate, unfair situation, Margo picked up a soft blanket from the back of a rocking chair and draped it over the exhausted woman. She couldn't bring herself to wake her and make her relive her reality right now. Standing up, the checked the babies and then exited the room, closing the door quietly.

She found Claire getting settled in her guest room. She was fidgeting, moving things about, trying to get herself situated. Margo knocked quietly and Claire jumped when she turned. She gave a small smile to the young girl.

"You doing okay?" She asked quietly. Claire gave a meek smile and nodded.

"Yes, ma'am. It's just weird to be back." Her voice was so quiet Margo could hardly hear her.

"If you'd like to call anyone, you're more than welcome to." Margo suggested, pointing to the phone. Claire glanced than way and then downcast her eyes.

"Thank you. I'll call eventually." She paused before looking back up at her father's wife. "Everyone really thinks we're dead, don't they?" She asked, her voice shaking. Margo nodded, stepping a few feet into the large room.

"Yes. They did it for the protection of the Island. I'm sure they explained that to you?"

"Yeah, they did, it's just hard to believe my mother thinks I'm dead." Margo placed a hand on Claire's shoulder.

"She'll understand. She'll just be so happy to have you home." Margo reasoned with a small smile. "Any mother would be happy for that." Claire knew she was speaking of Jack and nodded, understanding her thoughts. "Can I get you anything else, sweetie?"

"No, thank you." As Margo turned to leave, she called out, stopping her. "Thank you for this, letting me stay here. I know it's awkward and all, but I really appreciate it." Margo gave Claire a real, genuine smile and nodded.

"You're welcome. You're Jack's sister. You're a part of the family. He wouldn't have it any other way." She knew it wasn't Claire's fault, Christian's affair. She couldn't blame her for his mistakes. And Jack would accept her, he had already, how could she not? Wishing Claire goodnight, she closed the bedroom door and leaned against the wall for a moment, praying for strength. How would she and her family get through this? Sucking in a shaky breath, she continued down the hallway to her own bedroom, shutting off lights as she went. She craved sleep, as escape from this constant nightmare, but worried about what she'd wake up to in the morning. Closing her door, she sighed heavily. How would they get through this?

* * *

_Do you guys hate me yet? Please don't! Prove you don't with reviews! I could use the encouragement and maybe you'll even get something good out it on your end…hehehe. Thank you in advance! _

_Got some good stuff coming next chapter! _


	52. Chapter 50

Chapter 50

A/N: Writing this chapter broke my heart.

_Flashback_

_Jack shook his head as he tried to wake from his deep sleep, the sound of cries stirring him. Shifting to a sitting position, Kate was sound asleep next to him, Adam sleeping soundly in his bassinet beside them. That left Aaron as the source of the cries. Immediately worried, Jack stood, adjusting his boxers as he moved quickly down the hall to his son's room. _

_Entering the child's room, the little boy was sitting up in bed, visibly shaken from a bad dream. Jack moved to the child, scooping him into his arms. Aaron latched on, rubbing his tear-stained face into Jack's neck. Rubbing his pajama-clad back, Jack perched on the little bed, holding Aaron tightly in his arms. _

"_What's the matter kiddo?" Jack asked softly, holding Aaron secure and continuously rubbing his back, making him aware he was safe now. Aaron sniffled against him and snuggled deeper, if possible, into Jack's bare chest. _

"_I had a weird dream," he responded. Jack nodded, encouraging the little boy to keep talking. _

"_Oh, yeah? About what?" He asked as Aaron began to calm. _

"_I dunno," the little boy stated, his voice so small against Jack it gave him a chill. Aaron had had a few bad dreams in his life, but he rarely woke crying. He's usually make his way to their room and climb into bed with them, stating he'd had a bad dream, and he'd fall right back to sleep. Jack and Kate always felt Aaron was mature for his little age of three years, his word usage and speaking making him stand out amongst children his own age. Jack attributed it to Kate being with him all the time, spending all her time teaching him, helping him grow. Kate, however, just commented selflessly that he was just a smart boy. Jack believed otherwise though. _

"_You don't know, huh? Tell me about it. You'll feel better if you do," Jack encouraged. Aaron was silent for a few moments and Jack wondered if he wasn't going to. He had calmed now, and was just lightly sniffling. He began speaking softly, and Jack had to struggle to hear him. His voice almost sounded worried, if that was possible for such a young child. _

"_I had a dream that I had another mommy," he started and Jack's brow furrowed, wondering where this would go. He knew nothing of Claire, not her name or her face, but that statement brought instant anxiety to Jack. _

"_What do you mean?" Jack asked curiously, pressing the child slightly._

"_Like, there was this woman, and she kept saying I was her baby. And it wasn't Mommy," Aaron leaned back from Jack, his face contorted in confusion, his eyes red from crying. He stared at his little hands as he began talking again, Jack waiting patiently. "She had blonde hair, like mine. And she was holding my hand, saying she was my mommy. But I kept saying she wasn't, that I had a different mommy. But she wouldn't listen to me, and was trying to take me away." Jack watched as Aaron welled up again, clearly concerned for his life, laying back against Jack's chest. Jack continued rubbing his back, waiting to see if he'd keep talking, though his heart was in his throat, knowing who that woman was, but unable to make sense of why Aaron was dreaming this, how he could even know about Claire. He knew Aaron had been with her for almost two months before they were rescued, but he was so little, how could he even remember her? "I tried to run away, but I couldn't. And I was yelling for Mommy but she didn't come." The child was crying again, and Jack shushed him softly, rocking him back and forth in his arms. _

"_Shhh, kiddo, it's okay. You're safe. I don't know who she was, but she can't hurt you. It was just a dream." Jack reassured him, resting his head against the little boy's blonde hair, his anxiety higher than it had been in a long time. _

"_Where's Mommy?" Aaron asked quietly. _

"_Sleeping." Jack responded with a small smile, thinking of her cute tousled hair, and the way her face had been squished into the pillow when he'd left to save Aaron. _

"_Are you sure?" Aaron asked, his tone worried. _

"_Yes. You want to go check?" Jack asked, standing. Aaron nodded, squirming to get down. Jack placed him on the floor, and watched the 3 year old take off running for the master bedroom. Jack followed, loving how much the child adored Kate. Jack watched him creep quietly up to the bed, following closely to make sure he didn't bump into anything in the dark room. Aaron leaned close to Kate's face, and Jack watched as the little boy with his tear-stained cheeks placed a kiss on Kate's cheek and whispered, "Mommy". Kate opened her eyes a smidge, replying with a "Hmmm?" _

"_I love you, Mommy." Aaron said, as if making sure she knew it to reassure himself. Jack felt his heart swell with pride at the scene, a smile playing on his lips. Kate's eyes adjusted to the darkness, peering at her son. _

"_I love you too, sweet pea," she replied, rolling and sitting up. She peered at her husband, who stood by quietly. "Bad dream" he mouthed back at her, deciding he'd tell her the whole story in the morning. She nodded, reaching for the 3 year old and pulling him into her lap. The clock read 3:03 am, and Kate knew she needed to feed Adam anyway, welcoming the sweet wake up call. Aaron snuggled into her chest, his thumb finding his mouth, as he closed his eyes in content. Jack leaned, kissing his wife's forehead, before reaching for the rustling infant in the bassinet beside her. She gave him a smile as he lifted the baby and snuggle the one-sy clad child against his bare, fit chest. _

"_You want to come downstairs and sit with me while I feed Adam, so Daddy can go back to sleep?" Kate asked Aaron quietly, trying to lean her head to catch a glimpse of the little boy's face. He silently nodded, and moved off her lap. Kate stood, taking the baby from Jack, giving him a sweet kiss. As Aaron moved to the stairs by himself, Kate peered up at Jack's face, noticing the stumble from him not having shaved since the previous morning. "Is he okay?" She asked, her voice laced in concern. Jack nodded with a small sigh. _

"_Yeah, I think so. Just a bad dream. I'll tell you about it tomorrow." Adam began to fuss and Jack smiled tenderly down at the infant. "You have your hands full. You want me to come down with you?" He asked sweetly. Kate smiled but shook her head. _

"_No, but thanks. You have to wake up in less than three hours. Try to go back to sleep." She urged, knowing Jack having to be up at 6am would not be pleasant. _

"_All right, wake me if you need me though." His voice was soft, and full of adoration as he stared down at her. She grinned back, nodding._

"_I will." He kissed her forehead and she made her way to the stairs, where she knew Aaron was waiting at the end of. _

_End Flashback_

"Mommy!" came the excited squeal, rustling Kate from her deep sleep. Struggling to open her swollen eyes, she was able to fixate them on the young child throwing himself out of the bed and onto the floor. He ran to her and she greeted him with a sincere smile, wrapping him up in her arms. "Mommy! Mommy! You're home!" Aaron exclaimed, as Adam bounced up and down in his crib, holding the railing. Kate held the blonde haired boy like he were her lifeline, standing to sit on the bed, Aaron in her lap, straddling her legs. She could tell it was early morning by the daylight coming through the blinds, and she wished it were later, not having been ready to wake and face the day. She figured she had cried herself to sleep on the carpet, and the headache she suffered from confirmed it. "I missed you! So did Adam! Where's Daddy?" Aaron's words were full of excitement as he tried to climb down from Kate's lap. Kate held on to him, not sure what she'd tell him, but knowing that looking for Jack would be futile for the young child.

"I missed you too, baby," her voice was soft and she kissed his forehead, relishing in the adorable face of the small boy. He looked up at her, maybe confused, if he knew how to make that expression, and asked again for Jack. Kate sighed heavily and grasped his little hands.

"Daddy," she began, her voice unwillingly cracking and unwanted tears springing to her eyes, "He loves you so much. He just can't be here right now, okay? He had to do some really important things and couldn't come back with me. But he loves you so much. And he's missing you too. Okay?" Kate's voice was soft, her motherly tone always so kind and understanding, and though she could tell Aaron didn't understand what she was implying and that he was saddened by this admission, he accepted it.

"When will he be home?" his innocent little voice asked. Kate shrugged sadly and shook her head.

"I don't know, Sweet Pea. I'm just not sure." She admitted, sad that she was afraid it would be never.

"Okay," Aaron offered, his head dropping a little.

"I have someone here though I want you to meet, okay? She's a good friend of mine and she's going to be staying with us for a while, okay?" Kate dreaded what would come soon this morning, dreaded sharing her child with his own mother, but she knew she couldn't put it off, couldn't keep him from her any longer. She owed her that. And he was Claire's, after all. Settling Aaron down, Kate moved to her fussing baby, willing the tears not to fall as she lifted her husband's son into her arms. He wrapped is little arms around her neck and pulled at her hair, and a tearful laugh escaped her lips. Moving back to the bed, she wrapped the infant in one arm and her other one around Aaron, who now sat next to her and pulled him to her side, kissing the top of his head. It was at this moment that she knew, no matter what happened, if Jack came back or not, she would hold her little family together, welcoming Claire into her house, helping her with her son, and she would be strong, as strong as she could be for them, no matter what it took. These two children had no control over what had happened, and Jack was their father, they loved him too. She would mourn him through helping their children grow, she knew he would want that. She had to mourn, had to get through this, and she knew it would be the hardest thing she'd ever done, but she would do it for the two babies sitting with her now, on the bed, hugging her because she was their mother and they missed her and loved her too. She was unable to wallow in self-pity, and it wasn't her style. She knew she'd need to grow independent, after years of dependence on Jack. She had babies to feed, she needed to check on Claire. Kissing both their heads one more time, she stood, supporting Adam on her hip, holding Aaron's hand, sighing heavily, she knew this was the first step of the rest of her life. She was terrified and overwhelmed, and not to mention devastated, but she knew she owed it to the two children at her side, and Jack's mourning mother.

* * *

Margo could hear Aaron's small voice telling Kate a story as they made their way down the stairs. She wiped her own tears roughly, grabbing a tissue and clearing any damage it may have caused on her makeup, and slid the photo album she'd been looking at back into the drawer in the kitchen island. She allowed Kate to take her time, making her way into the kitchen with her children, pouring a cup of coffee for the sad woman. Rounding the corner, she caught Kate's eyes and what she found there, the sadness, the determination, made her want to tear up again. She offered a small smile, as strong as she could muster and Kate gave her one back, her eyes watering. Aaron dropped Kate's hand as climbed into his seat at the table, as Margo and Kate embraced over Adam, who was content to play with Kate's curls and babble on in his little language. He didn't understand what was going on, and Kate thanked a higher power for that. Settling Adam into his high chair, she accepted the coffee from Margo and peered around the room.

"Where's Claire?" she asked quietly. Margo gestured toward the stairs.

"In the other guest room shower. She should be down soon." They shared another sympathetic look, both peering at Aaron, who had pulled a coloring book and crayons from the center of the table and was busy coloring a "Lion King" picture. There was a moment of silence before Margo spoke.

"What did you tell him?" She asked quietly, moving close to Kate. Kate sighed, twirling the warm cup in her hand.

"That Jack had some things he had to do, and I didn't know when he'd be home. But that he loved them both very much." She again, for the umpteenth time that morning, fought tears, and could tell Margo was trying very hard to fight her own. "I didn't know what else to say." As her voice cracked, Margo embraced the younger woman with her arm, moving her out of the kitchen into the living room, so they weren't right in front of the children, and then embraced her fully.

"I know sweetheart. No one does. What you said was good for now. Handle the questions as they come." Kate could hear the tears in her mother-in-laws voice and somehow felt a touching kinship with the older woman. They were mourning the same person, just as much as the other. Margo had lost a son, her a husband. They understood one another. They held each other tight for a moment, shedding tears, before a small hand pulled at Kate's lounge pants. The women pulled apart immediately, trying to discreetly wipe their tears, Kate smiled down at Aaron.

"I'm hungry, Mommy." The child peered at her with his large innocent eyes and Kate nodded, giving him a good smile, not a fake one but a forced one.

"Sure thing, Sweet Pea. We'll be right in and we'll make you French toast, okay?" She offered, and the child nodded, before retreating from the room. Looking back at Margo, she could see the tear stains on the older woman's face.

"We'll get through this, Kate. It'll be all right again." The older woman knew from experience, Kate supposed, having mourned her husband twice and now her son twice. She knew what this felt like. Kate had never had time to mourn Tom, and she'd always just felt guilt and horrible about what had happened, she never loved him like she loved Jack. She looked to Margo for guidance, she had to. She didn't know what else to do, where to go from here.

Kate nodded, taking a deep breath and emerging from the room into the kitchen. Just as she did, Claire emerged from the hall, stepping slowly in the kitchen, tentative, and Kate swallowed hard. Aaron looked up to the blonde woman and a piece of Kate's heart shattered. She felt Margo's hand on her arm, with an encouraging squeeze, and she stepped forward.

"Aaron, this is Claire," she started with the word, grabbing Claire's hand and stepping forward with the younger woman. Claire's eyes were wide, and she appeared unsure, but underneath, Kate could see tears, tears of joy. Her son was before her, healthy and so big. Aaron watched his mother and Claire step forward. Claire gave a little wave to the child.

"Hi Aaron, it's nice to…to meet you," Claire stuttered, unsure of her words. Kate offered her a smile and she smiled back. Aaron waved back, his wide blue eyes staring back into Claire's. Sure he could see the resemblance, Kate panicked. But then he shrugged and smiled.

"Hi," the little boy offered before going back to coloring his paper.

"She's going to be staying with us for a while, okay?" Aaron nodded at Kate's statement. Kate gave Claire another reassuring smile as she sat across from her son. Kate grabbed another cup of coffee and handed it to the blonde woman, before beginning on breakfast. Margo watched the exchange and felt sympathy for Kate. A bark sounded from outside on the patio and Kate smiled lightly, remembering the puppy they had left behind. Opening the back door, she allowed Brody to rush into the house, licking her face and hands. Kate looked to Claire and noticed her wide eyes. "And this Claire, is Brody. He's a bit of a handful but he's as harmless as could be."

* * *

Later that evening, after spending most of the day with Margo, trying to plan a way to memorialize Jack, Kate pushed open the large oak door to her own house. Their house. She was alone, having left the babies at Margo's with her and Claire. Margo knew that Kate would need a little while alone, and had told her to go on to the house by herself, stating that Claire and the children could stay at her house if Kate wanted mourn alone for a while. No one had been there since they'd left. It was dark, and as she turned on the foyer light, her heart was struck with pain. It sucked the breath from lungs as she walked slowly through the foyer into the kitchen. So much of him was everywhere. A Red Sox cap lay on the counter, next to his keys. The newspaper lay next to them, opened to the sports page from the day they left. She set her things next to his and proceeded on, slowly, taking in their home. His suit coat, the one he had worn to work a few days before they'd left was hanging on a hook by the coat closet, having been overlooked while they were cleaning before they left. His medical journals were on the coffee table, where he'd read them while they drank their coffee on Sunday mornings.

As Kate walked the house, so many memories jumped out at her. It became hard for her to breath. She leaned against the wall near the door that overlooked the back yard, and she leaned her head against the cool glass. She could feel him, kept waiting for him to open the front door, and announce he was home from work. Turning, she caught a sight of the picture she'd had to beg him to have professional taken for their Christmas card. They had taken on the beach, and had all worn white. She was pregnant with Adam, her belly small but round, showing through her white sundress. Aaron was on Jack's hip, grinning at the camera beside her. Jack was smiling, laughing maybe even, she couldn't remember the exact moment when that particular shot had been taken, but she remembered vividly the hard time he had given about taking the pictures. He had wanted a candid shot, had even picked one out, but as Dr. Shephard's soon-to-be wife, she wanted a professional, clean picture taken, something people would appreciate on their Christmas card, something that would show how wonderful their little family was. He had finally agreed, and as she peered at the photo, a tear slipped down her cheek. He had always been such a good sport about the stupid, mundane things she had asked him to do. She smiled at the memory, the pain in her chest intense.

Numbly she reached for the phone and dialed his number. She wanted him to pick up, needed him to. She needed this all to be a dream.

But as the phone went straight to voicemail, his voice coming across the line, more tears slipped down her cheeks. Pressing the power button on the cordless phone, she hugged it to her chest, a few sobs escaping her throat. He couldn't be really gone. There was something inside her that refused to let her believe that. But another part of her told her she needed to accept it, that it was indeed true.

Angrily, she threw the phone into the cushions of the couch, gritting her teeth as the tears rolled. She made her way past the remnants of him in the kitchen and dining room, and made her way up the stairs. The bedroom was clean, just the way they'd left it, a few clothes folded on the bed, ones she had chosen not to take with her. She threw them off the bed and climbed into it, fully clothed, crushing his pillow to her face. She was determined to get it all out now, to cry her eyes out over him, and be done with it. Sobbing into the pillow, her feelings floated from anger to love to denial. To put it irrationally, she as furious with him for what he had done, leaving her alone to raise Adam and give Aaron back to Claire, not to mention to live without the one thing she had grown to love more than anything. She couldn't think of anything but his face as she cried, him telling her to tell the babies he loved them. She couldn't think past any of it as she cried. Every time she thought the tears would slow down, a memory would flow to her, that time he had painted her nails on the porch, or when he had surprised her with the puppy, or when he'd been let for their rehearsal dinner because he was too busy buying her a new car.

There were so many things to remember, and as she laid on the bed, running them all through her head, her tears slowed a little. She even laughed a little at a memory or two, when she'd burned the cake for his birthday and he had tried so hard to make her laugh, or when he had tried for over an hour to fix the Christmas tree lights and how annoyed he'd been when she had fixed it in a matter of seconds.

He had changed her. He had taught how to stand still, how to not worry about the future. He had supported her in anything she had wanted, his unwavering devotion hard to come by. Even the time when they had met in the parking garage, after she had received her verdict, and he had made it clear he wasn't ready to see Aaron, she still cherished the memory, because it had led them to who they had become. She was suddenly dependant, but all the better for it. He had helped her grow. She needed to remember those things about herself that he had helped shaped, needed to teach them to her son in place of Jack. He would want that. He wouldn't want this, she knew, her crying helplessly on bed. She couldn't help it now, wasn't sure she would be able to in the coming days, weeks, and months, but she knew, if she was going to get through it, she had to remember how he would want her to move on. There was no confirmation he was dead, no body, no word, but the fact that he was nowhere to be found made it very difficult to believe he had somehow made it off the Island alive. And what was she supposed to do? As much as she wanted to go off and look for him, Adam needed her, and Aaron did too until he was settled with Claire, whenever that happened. She couldn't leave them alone anymore, he had made sure she had lived to get back to them this time, she couldn't risk it again. She needed to take care of their family.

* * *

The grounds were quiet as Kate and Margo stood next to the memorial stone that would recognize Jack. It was placed where Margo had placed his first one, after the first Oceanic crash. Margo had had the first one removed after they had all come back, but as they placed flowers next to this one, it made it all the harder on her.

They stood in their black dresses, just the two of them, saying their goodbyes to a headstone that had no body below it. It was next to Christian's, in a cemetery not far from Kate's house. The oak tree above it shielded the stones from sun-bleaching, and allowed for cool shade when visiting. Kate had come here before, with Jack, on Christian's birthday each year. Now standing with Margo instead left a cold hole in Kate's heart. Neither said much, each said their own prayers for the man who had died before his time. They hadn't wanted their friends to join them, wanting it to be something small and sacred. Kate knew eventually she'd bring Aaron and Adam here, after she finally told them the truth. It had been over a week since they'd returned, and Aaron still asked for him, ripping Kate's heart out over and over. But she couldn't bring herself to tell him he wasn't coming back. She didn't think that would make the transition from her to Claire any easier on the small boy. She wasn't healing yet, but this was a start, she believed.

Planting her daisies, her favorite flower, the ones he would always buy her, next to the grave, she remembered all the people Jack had buried on the Island. Things hadn't been easy on him there, it was if he took vengeance on the island, she thought with a small smirk. Shaking her head, she closed her eyes against the tears. Sucking in a breath, she stood when she was satisfied with the arrangement, and Margo placed a comforting hand on the younger woman's shoulder. Margo said one more small goodbye to her son, and told Kate she'd give her a moment, going to wait in the car. Kate nodded her thank you and stared at the cold stone, chewing her lips. When Margo was out of ear-shot, she spoke quietly, kneeling before the headstone.

"I miss you so much, Jack. You're all around me, every day. I see you in Adam, in Aaron, even when I have to punish that wild dog because he ate another one of my shoes. He's eaten 4 since I've been back. You were supposed to help me train him," her voice cracked and she fought sobs that reached her throat, "but I suppose I'll let you off the hook. I wish you were here. I know wherever you are you're thinking about us. " Tears escaped her green eyes and she closed them tightly, praying for the strength to say the last few things she wanted to. "I'll come by often, I promise. I'll bring Adam and when I explain things to Aaron, I'll bring him too. I love you Jack. I hope you're happy, wherever you are." She kissed her fingertips and placed them on the hard stone, tears freely sliding down her freckled cheeks. She had never thought she'd be a widow. She never would have thought she'd bury her husband. Standing from the soft grass, she took one last look at the grave, before turning and beginning for the car. She was overwhelmed by thoughts of tomorrow, how she'd get through each day, but she was determined. For him. For Adam. And for Aaron. She needed to be okay, for them. She was terrified, but she needed to be okay. She owed that to Jack, for saving her life. If anything, she owed him that.

* * *

_I don't know just where I'm going  
And tomorrow, it's a little overwhelming  
And the air is cold  
And I'm not the same anymore  
I've been running in your direction  
For too long now  
I've lost my own reflection  
And I can't look down  
If you're not there to catch me when I fall._

_If this is the moment I stand here on my own_  
_If this is my rite of passage that somehow leads me home_  
_I might be afraid_  
_But it's my turn to be brave_  
_If this is the last chance before we say goodbye_  
_At least it's the first day of the rest of my life_  
_I can't be afraid_  
_Cause it's my turn to be brave_

"Brave" by Idina Menzel

This song inspired a bit of this chapter, and I knew I would use it when I heard it months ago. Please listen to it, I immediately thought of Kate on the cliffs when she let Jack go during 'The End'. And in honor of that most amazing, heartbreaking finale, I thought it appropriate I include this in this chapter, and that I post today. A year ago today was the end of six years of amazing-ness. And I miss it everyday.

Reviews are love. Please let me know your thoughts. Like I said before, you will be rewarded if you stick through this and continue reading. I'm worried about the review count but I'm going to chalk it up to the damage I've done. Please let me know you're still reading. I'll take anything, lol. Thank you in advance. You're all awesome!


	53. Chapter 51

Chapter 51

Thank you so much for your reviews! Keep 'em coming! This is your third one in one week! I think I deserve them ***wink*** haha

A little shorter than usual, but hey, it's an update. Enjoy it! hehe

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Kate rolled over and reached across the bed, a bright smile on her sleeping face. She knew her fingers would reach the muscular body she craved, and anticipated the feeling of his warm skin under her fingertips. She reached so far she had to open her eyes to find out what was in her way of her destination. And then, as she stared at the empty pillow, she remembered. He wasn't there. He wouldn't be. She closed her eyes shut and took a deep breath to hold back her emotions, before climbing from the comfortable bed and sliding her robe over her shoulders.

It had been two weeks since they'd placed the memorial stone next to Christian's, seven weeks since she had seen his face. It still stung, the pain and the feeling of loss, but she pushed on for her babies. Brushing her teeth, she noted that his was still on his side of the double bath counter, along with many of his other toiletries she had yet to remove. She wasn't ready yet. So she left them there. She was content with that for now.

It was almost as if she didn't allow herself to dwell on it, to think to deeply about her loss now. As she wandered down the sunlit hall to Adam's room, she could hear the youngster playing in his crib. She smiled to herself, pushing the door fully open and reveling her husband's son, playing with a stuffed animal, completely content to just be. Though he resembled his father, he wasn't worrier Jack had been as a child, Margo recalled. Adam carried her carefree attitude, and Kate was thankful for that. Aaron was a little more intuitive and worrisome and they had to be careful of what talk he heard about Jack. She still hadn't been able to bring herself to explain everything to Aaron, he was still adjusting to Claire's presence, they all were. But Kate was happy for the help and the company. She wasn't ready to be alone in the large house, with so much left to do to clear it of Jack. She wasn't ready.

Carrying the happy baby down the stairs, and heard the television on and grinned. Aaron was up, lying on the couch, watching cartoons, just like he would do on his mornings with Jack when he had been there.

Wishing him a good morning with a kiss on his blonde head, Kate settled Adam in his highchair and began brewing coffee and making breakfast for her family. Claire would be down soon, so Kate settled a place setting for her at the breakfast bar, next to Aaron's. They'd slowly been getting to know each but Aaron, as was his way, was tentative and nervous, never letting her get to close. Kate observed and it broke her heart for Claire. Eventually she knew the young child would grow comfortable, but it was going to take time. And he had no idea who this woman was, or why she would be spending time with him, and Kate felt that gave him every reason to be cautious.

Switching on the radio, she hummed lightly along, pouring two cups of coffee automatically, and then shaking her head. She always poured the second one for Jack. It was just another daily reminder of the loss that had punctured their lives.

Pulling out the cereal and the milk, along with the baby food for Adam, Kate thought about her day. She and Claire would take the kids for a walk to the park, and then she would hit the gym for an hour or so, and then she needed to go to the grocery store and run some other errands. Thinking about money made her nervous, she needed to assess their bank accounts. Without Jack's salary, she wasn't sure how long they'd be able to go before she was forced to get a job. Margo had told her to take Jack's life insurance, but part of Kate wasn't ready for something so permanent, something that clearly stated how much he was not coming back. She'd take it if she needed it, but she wanted to ignore it as long as possible. She'd get a job before she'd take the money, she determined. Maybe she'd save it as college money for Adam. She wasn't sure and couldn't think about it right now.

She dressed after feeding the kids and Claire, and they began to half-mile walk to the park. Claire was settling in as expected, still not completely comfortable with being back in civilization, and not completely sure of her situation with Aaron. Kate agreed, she wasn't either, but they were working through it, somewhat, together. They were becoming closer as friends, as well, Kate knowing they would have been great sister-in-laws.

"It's so beautiful here." Claire mused as they walked past a row of palm trees on the street they live off of. "I just can't get over it."

"Yeah, it's really nice. It's why I bought the house here, too. Because it's so quiet and comfortable. Great for the kids." Kate agreed as they walk along, Claire leading Brody, the kids in the stroller that Kate pushed. The dog was big now, almost fifty pounds, and Kate didn't know how much bigger he could get. She imagined though that he would stop at around eighty pounds, and hoped for it, knowing he would be almost too big at that point. But he was very gentle and protective of the children and her, and was growing to enjoy Claire as well. He was a sweet dog with a great personality. Kate enjoyed him, feeling safe and protected with him around.

"You bought before you and Jack got together, right?" Claire asked, trying to get her story straight. Kate nodded, wistfully.

"Yeah, he helped me pick it out though. We were spending a lot of time together at that point, we just weren't together." She confirmed, thinking of all the times they'd made this walk together. Claire nodded, taking in the information.

"I wish I'd gotten to know him as my brother. It's funny sometimes to think back to after the crash, when we didn't know we were related. I think of how different it would have been if we had known," Claire spoke thoughtfully, chewing on her lip. Kate nodded, understanding her thoughts, always having her own like that.

"It is interesting to think about how much of strangers we all were. Talk about being brought together by fate. It messed with Jack's head, knowing he'd left you behind, his sister. He felt guilty every day. I think it took part in his choice to come back to Aaron. He needed him as much as I did." She looked down at the blonde haired child behind Adam and wondered if he knew what they were talking about, if he was listening. He was a smart child, she knew that. She wouldn't put it past his little brain to be absorbing all the information they spoke about. They were always careful though to never allude to the fact that Aaron was Claire's child in front of him in ways he would understand.

"I can only imagine. I would have appreciated an older brother looking out for me back then. At least I had it for a few days when you guys were back. Not that there was much time." Kate could tell Claire had her regrets. Didn't they all?

* * *

Kate stood in her bathroom two weeks later and admired to the tone in her arms. She'd been going to the gym to take her mind off the stresses of her life, missing Jack, Aaron and Claire. She'd run for a while, thinning out her body with the cardio, and building lean muscle with weights. She needed something for herself, and she had always been fit, so it made sense in her mind for her to work out. It relaxed her, and she'd go home after and be ready to handle the kids and Claire, now in an even head. Margo was impressed with her coping skills, always checking on her and insisting she was blocking, not allowing herself to feel the grief she should be. Kate would shake her head with a small smile and state that she grieved every day but these were her ways of getting through the days. She needed these things. Margo was a strong woman, and she understood Kate's determination, she just didn't want her to break at some point, and crash and burn. That was her major fear.

Kate kept the towel tied tight around her upper body as she combed her hair, watching the satisfying flex of her arms. The only thing she seemed to be struggling with losing was the weight in her stomach. She knew sometimes after children it was hard to regain a flat midsection, but before they'd left for Fiji, she had pretty much had it, she felt. Now it seemed to be moving backward. She wasn't so much gaining weight, as much as she couldn't seem to tone up the muscles in that area and lose the layer of post-baby fat she had been working on. It was the only part of her that didn't resemble her pre-baby body, and even then, it was a small, unnoticeable layer to everyone else. It was noticeable to her though.

Dressing through her mental fog of worries, Kate tied her long curls up on her head, and slid on her dress shoes before heading down the stairs to say goodbye to Claire and the babies. She had a doctor's appointment, a check-up, her yearly, and wanted to ask the doctor some questions. Kissing her boys, she thanked Claire and headed to the Tahoe. She grinned a sad smile every time she approached the large car with its Red Sox license plate on the front. Jack had bought it, as he enjoyed adorning their vehicles in memorabilia. The Volvo had a sticker on the back window, a small one, but it still brought a smile to her lips. She watched the games every night, still. They were doing well and she suspect that they might make win the division. Only a few more games. By October, only a week or so away, they'd have their answer. She wished Jack could have seen how well they were playing.

The radio was her nemesis though. So many songs seemed to remind her of him. She was getting better, she probably hadn't cried in a week or so, and felt she attributed that to her healthy lifestyle. She also took joy in the children, and Claire for company, and Margo came to visit often. She tried to find things to keep her mind off of missing him. Sometimes it worked, sometimes she stared at pictures, but generally she hadn't cried. She had taken Adam to his grave the last two Sundays, as she had promised she'd visit often, and had taken joy in trying to teach Adam to talk, as he babbled constantly, while they sat in the grass, watching butterflies and birds. It got to her sometimes when she thought about the things he would miss, but she tried not to get too caught up in that.

Climbing out of the car at the doctor's office, she thought of the time she and Jack had come here to see Adam's ultrasound, their first time experiencing that together. She remembered the look on his face. It warmed her heart as she walked into the waiting room. It wasn't long before the nurse called her back, taking her weight, and drawing blood. Soon Dr. Patterson entered, greeting Kate warmly. Kate smiled back as the woman took out her tools and chatted with Kate about mundane things like the weather and Aaron going to preschool. Just one more thing Kate was stressing about.

After Dr. Patterson was ready, settled Kate onto her exam table. Kate briefly told her about the loss of Jack, stating it was an unfortunate accident, but nothing more. The doctor gave her sympathies, and offered to help Kate in any way she could. While she examined Kate routinely, she asked Kate if there was anything specifically she needed.

"Well, nothing I can think of. I think I'm just going to stay off my birth control for now, since I'm clearly not sexually active, and I think that's really all."

Dr. Patterson nodded. "Okay, sure. You can do that." Kate hated these awkward exam moments, but tried to show some grace and stay quiet. It worried her how quiet Dr. Patterson was, though. "Anything else you're concerned about? Been feeling all right lately?" She enquired. Kate raised an eyebrow and tried to think.

"I can't think of anything. My emotions have been kind of a rollercoaster but I think that has to do with the loss of Jack. I've been fine otherwise."

"And you've been working out?"

"Yeah, fairly hard, actually. Takes my mind off things." Dr. Patterson stood after a moment, and removed her gloves.

"I'll be right back, okay. Stay right there." She gave a reassuring smile and left the room. Kate twiddled her thumbs, staring at the blank ceiling, wondering if she and Jack would have ever had another child. She had always wanted a girl, but had been equally as happy with Adam. She shut her eyes and wished away the thoughts, instantly regretting thinking about it due to the emotions sliding over her. She held in the tears and waited for the doctor to come back, choosing wonder why it was necessary to show graphic pictures of the female internal parts.

Dr. Patterson entered the room soon after and Kate couldn't read the expression on her face.

"On here, you left the last date of your last period blank, do you not remember?"

Kate's cheeks blushed and she looked down. "It's been a complicated few months. I can't remember." She replied sheepishly. The doctor nodded, looking at papers in Kate's file. She set them down and moved back to Kate, sitting beside her on her stool.

"I'm afraid to tell you this because of what you just told me about your husband." The doctor looked saddened, almost remorseful. Kate panicked.

"What's wrong?" Kate asked quietly, dreading what she might say.

"It's not so much what's wrong…." Dr. Patterson replied, pushing a stray blonde hair behind her ear. She reminded Kate of Juliet in a way. Kate gave her a puzzled look. "Kate, you're pregnant. You're about 8 weeks, maybe a few more. I won't know exactly until I do a full ultrasound." Kate felt a cold chill run through her veins and Dr. Patterson watched the blood drain from her face. She stood quickly, getting Kate a cup of water. She handed the young woman the Dixie cup and Kate stared into it, her face resembling nausea. She didn't speak for a long moment, wild thoughts running through her head. "Kate?" Dr. Patterson pushed. Kate's green eyes met hers and the doctor could see the tears brimming. Tears Kate hadn't cried in over a week. The floodgates were re-opened with those words, that she was pregnant. How could she be pregnant? She knew how, but why now? And she hadn't felt a thing, nothing like when she had been pregnant with Adam.

"Do you want to see it?" Dr. Patterson asked, looking at Kate, concerned.

"I haven't felt sick at all, I haven't felt anything. How could I—how didn't I—" Kate stuttered frantically, fighting the tears that threatened to spill. Dr. Patterson was sympathetic.

"Sometimes each pregnancy is different. And you've clearly been preoccupied. You're also not that far along, so the morning sickness is probably coming. Let's check on the baby, shall we?" She encouraged, pulling the machine up to a stunned Kate. Kate nodded silently. "Let's make sure it's doing all right. And I can get a better estimate about how far along you are." She lifted Kate's gown, covering her lower half with a sheet, and put the cold jelly on Kate's flat stomach. Suddenly it dawned on Kate that that was why she couldn't seem to flatten out her stomach more. Her body was preparing for expanding, not shrinking. Laying her head back, she looked away from the screen, the familiar anger she'd felt in the recent days at Jack flooding back. How could he have done this? Left her alone with their Aaron and Adam, and now this.

As lights were darkened, the image of Kate's uterus became obvious on the screen and sure enough, Kate could see the small cellular being floating in her belly. Kate bit back a sob as she stared at the little being that would soon develop into her baby. "Yeah, I'd say you're about 8 weeks along…." Kate didn't hear any words after that admission; she simply stared at the screen. Eight weeks equaled back to the Island. Tears escaped Kate's eyes as she watched the little cellular being float around. She and Jack were having another baby. Or, correction moreover, she was having another baby. Without Jack.

"_Damn you_." her thoughts screamed at him.


	54. Chapter 52

Chapter 52

_**Oh my gosh..thank you for the reviews. I know I'm WAY behind on review/PM replies, but I know you guys like chapters and updates, so consider this a way of thank you? K, thanks :)**_

_**(PS-I will respond, don't worry. Just wanted to give you guys this little chapter first—I use the word 'little lightly, it's 9 pages hehehe) **_

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Kate parked the large SUV and grabbed hold of the steering wheel, shaking it violently, taking her frustrations out on the inanimate object. Tears streaked her freckled cheeks and she rested her forehead on the cool leather of the steering wheel, sobs escaping her chapped lips. She'd been crying the whole hour drive out of the city, down a road yet familiar to her, barely making it to her car from office building before breaking down. Her mind told her she needed to calm down, that this kind of stress wasn't good for the baby, but every time she thought about their baby-her baby- the sobs started all over again.

Stumbling from the car slightly, she made her way to a specific spot, a spot she had only recently become to acknowledge. The grass was green, the sun setting slowly behind the trees, shadowing the memorial grave in soft pink and orange hues. She collapsed onto the soft ground, the head stone staring back at her. She wasn't ready to go home and face her babies and Claire yet, didn't know how she would tell them, or if she would, and she felt like someone needed to know just how upset she was, even if she couldn't tell him face to face. Bringing her head up from her hands, her eyes were red and swollen, and her head hurt from crying so hard, but she couldn't help it.

"I am so, _so_ mad at you right now…" she whispered, staring at the engraved letters on the marble. "How did this happen? Why did you leave us? I can't do this without you, Jack. I could handle Aaron the first time, and maybe the two of them….I mean, I'm getting by with Claire and your mom, but now, with this? A _third _baby? Adam will be turning one two months before this one's due." Her words were harsh, and hushed, and she was sure that she would sound crazy if someone heard her talking to thin air, sobbing in the grass, staring at the marble headstone. But she didn't care, she couldn't. She had too much else to care about.

She took a deep shuddering breath and licked a few tears from her lips. "You know," she started, giving the stone a glare as if she was talking to his face, "if you were here, I'd be so happy about this. I know you would be too. And this time, I wouldn't have had to hide it from you, like I did before. I would be ecstatic." A few tears escaped her bloodshot green eyes and she squeezed them shut tightly. "I don't know how to handle this." Her hands again took her head into them and she leaned against the cold stone, somehow looking for comfort in something so brutal and hard. "Without you here with me, I don't know what to do. This hurts so bad, sometimes I feel like I can't even breathe." She took another shuddering breath, as if for example, and traced the letters of his name. "It's due April 7th, you know. Maybe this one will make it to its actual due date." The tears were slowing, and she felt like if she tried hard enough, and thought it hard enough, she could feel him. "I promise not to drive after 8 months," she kidded with the rock, finding herself releasing a small laugh at the thought of him preventing her from driving, after what happened last time. She shut her eyes at the thought of the birth, the pain still too raw, unable to think about him not being there. Her hand rested on her abdomen and she squeezed her stomach, wishing she could hold the small being close and nothing would happen to it.

* * *

When Kate finally arrived home, it was late in the evening. The house was quiet to Kate's surprise, and she immediately felt remorse at having left Claire all alone with the boys. Shutting the door softly, she found Claire at the kitchen table sipping a cup of tea and skimming a magazine. The sight was always strange to Kate, having Claire here instead of Jack, but she welcomed the company and the woman herself. She gave a small smile as she moved to pour herself a glass of water.

"Hi," She offered Claire, "Sorry I'm home so late. I ran a few errands after my appointment and stopped by the cemetery." Claire watched her, nodding.

"It's okay, I understand. Adam was easy, I put him down about two hours ago. Aaron," she sighed before she continued, "he wasn't as easy." Kate raised an eyebrow at this admission, now curious.

"What do you mean?" She walked toward Claire, pulling a chair out and sitting across from her.

"He fought me on everything: dinner, his pajamas, brushing his teeth-I had no idea what to do," she admitted and Kate could see the red rings around the younger woman's eyes, probably matching her own. She reached across the table and grasped her hand.

"It's going to take time, Claire. He doesn't know you're his mom and he doesn't understand. He's going to have good days and bad days. We have to remember he's dealing with the loss of Jack too. Even though he doesn't know where he is, he's still struggling. They were very close." Kate took a deep, stabilizing breath to keep her own tears at bay. "I appreciate you doing all you did today. Thank you."

Claire nodded. "It's just hard, you know," her voice cracked and Kate could see the struggle in her blue eyes. "He's my son and he doesn't even know who I am." Kate felt bad, felt like this situation was eating at the woman, and she knew how she felt. But there was no other way, Aaron wasn't just going to understand overnight that Kate wasn't really his mother, that Claire was, and then just let Claire take him away. He was already part of a family, and she didn't know how to make Claire understand that, so that the transition wouldn't be so painful.

"I know, Claire. I'm sorry. This whole thing hurts me too. We'll get through it though. We have to." She gave the woman a small smile, as much as she could muster, and then watched at Claire retracted her hand, standing, and making her way up the stairs. Kate watched, feeling horrible that she couldn't fix this situation, and was again overcome with grief and frustration. How was she going to do all this, especially now that she was pregnant? The stress was enough to kill her alone. Placing her head in her hands, she took long deep breaths, willing herself to stay calm and to take one moment at a time, since everything was unpredictable at this point. Her elbows on the table she propped her head on her fists, and closed her eyes. When she opened them a few moments later, a picture on the side table in the living room caught her eye. It was of her, Jack, and Adam the day they brought Adam home from the hospital. A surge of emotions passed through her veins and she stood, moving quickly to the picture and lying it down on its face. She couldn't bear the sight. Moving away, trying to control her emotions, she gave the large dog sitting calmly behind her a treat and then encouraged him up the stairs to her room. She allowed him to sleep with her for the comfort and the company. He was a well-behaved guard dog, always aware of noises and things out of the ordinary, and she appreciated that attentiveness with her two children in the house. Changing, she climbed into bed and begged for the ability to sleep. Brody curled up beside her on Jack's side of the bed, and she placed a hand on the furry body, his breathing relaxing her. He often didn't stay in the bed long, opting for the floor when he got too hot, but he would always start the night off beside her, giving her the comfort she needed to fall asleep. And she was grateful when sleep came quickly, her tumultuous day finally winning out.

* * *

Kate struggled with the nausea and Aaron a few weeks later, baffled with her son's sudden acting out and the onset of her morning sickness. She hadn't told anyone about the baby, still terrified and unsure of what to do, and knew she could hide it a few months more before she started to show. She didn't, however, know how to handle her son's sudden wild behavior.

"Aaron! You come here right now!" She exclaimed to the child who had just thrown Adam's toy across the kitchen, causing the smaller child to break out in sobs. Kate briefly wondered where Claire was as she lifted Adam to her hip and strode after Aaron, who stood with his back to her, his little arms crossed. "Aaron, what is the matter? Why did you do that?" Kate asked, turning the child to face her. He pulled his little body away from her though, shouting.

"I want Daddy!" Kate wasn't as taken aback by the tantrum today as she had been two weeks ago when this all began. Now she was just frustrated and sympathetic.

"Baby, please, come here and apologize to your little brother—"Kate tried patiently, but Aaron kicked another toy, and then stomped his foot.

"No! Daddy!" He screamed at her before running off to his room. Kate sighed, running a hand over her unruly curls before feeling the beginning of another nausea spell. Strapping a calm Adam back into his high chair, she sat down, resting her forehead on the cool wood of the table. Between the cartoons and Aaron acting out, she hadn't heard her front door open.

"Kate," Margo greeted, her voice immediately concerned. "Are you all right?" She moved quickly to the younger woman's side, noticing her pale and drawn skin. Kate raised her dull green eyes to meet Margo's and sighed, unsure of what her answer would be this time, as this was not the first time Margo had scolded her for not taking better care of herself in recent days. "_If only she knew_," Kate always thought. She nodded lightly.

"Hey Margo, yeah, I'm fine. Just upset with Aaron," she offered as the older woman handed Adam a piece of soft bread and sat down next to Kate, setting her designer purse on the table. She raised a hand to Kate's forehead, feeling for heat.

"Sweetie, you look terrible. Are you feeling okay?" Kate could feel her sympathetic eyes staring down at her and Kate felt ashamed she couldn't bring herself to say the words out loud. She continued to lie, though. She fought back an exhausted sob, and sighed heavily instead, worrying Margo even more. She moved some curls from Kate's face and surveyed the circles under her eyes and the freckles that stood out like pebbles on snow.

"Yeah, just tired. Aaron's been terrible lately, and he keeps asking for Jack and I just don't know what to do about it anymore." She fought tears and her watery eyes pleaded with Margo's darker ones. They had always reminded her of Jack's, now more than ever.

"Have you considered telling him the truth?" The older woman asked gently, taking in her daughter-in-law's internal struggle. Kate shook her head defiantly.

"No, I can't bring myself to. I think part of me still thinks he's going to come home from work one of these nights, and it'll all have been a bad dream," she admitted, looking down at her hands.

"Kate, honey, you can't live in that denial. You need to accept the truth and so does Aaron," Margo encouraged gently.

"I can't do this, Margo. I can't. I thought I could take care of Aaron, Adam, and Claire, but that's only under perfect circumstances. If anything, _anything_, goes wrong, everything falls apart. Claire is struggling with Aaron, Aaron's struggling with everything, and Adam's too young to understand—" a chewing noise caught her attention and her eyes flew to where Brody, in all his 8 month old glory, was chewing on another of Adam's stuffed animals. She stood angrily, spooking the puppy. "No, Brody! No! Bad dog!" She took the damaged toy away from the German Shepherd and opened the back door, shooing him out into the yard, where his ears stayed drooped from having been scolded roughly. "And that freaking dog isn't going to make it to see his first birthday if he doesn't stop eating everything in sight!" Kate exclaimed, slamming the toy on the table, scaring Adam, who again, began to cry. Margo watched the entire episode before standing, taking matters into her own, mature hands. She knew someone in this house needed to be the adult for a while and Kate clearly wasn't up to the challenge.

"Kate, I think you need to go upstairs and lie down for a while. You look exhausted, and I think your patience has worn thin. I will handle the children, the dog and Claire, you just go calm yourself down." The order was more of a lecture, and Kate wordlessly stood for a moment before Margo moved closer, coddling her grandson. Her eyes were softer now, but Kate could tell she meant business. "We'll talk about all this later, okay? I'll handle everything, just go rest." Kissing her daughter-in-law's forehead, she moved away to the living room, checking on the pouting dog outside, and the pouting child in his room. Kate listlessly made her way to her bedroom feeling slightly relieved and yet disconnected, craving nothing more than the feeling of her pillows under her head on her soft bed. She felt terrible for leaving Margo with everything, but knew the woman could handle it; she had for the days they were gone, so she figured a few hours while she napped couldn't be that big of a deal. Sliding down onto her bed, she fought another nauseous feeling as it came over her and she talked herself out of throwing up. She knew her appearance and her body were suffering from the beginnings of pregnancy, but she could see where Margo simply assumed they were stress related. They felt stress related, she just didn't know which stress she blamed for them.

* * *

_Kate sipped her wine, eager for the comfortable silence that splayed between them. They were quiet for a while before she spoke again._

_"I'm really glad you came by," she said the words, barely above a whisper, and when Jack turned to respond, her face held a serious expression. Her eyes held an unreadable emotion and he furrowed his brow a little, wondering if she was asking him to leave._

_"I am too." He didn't move, unsure of what his next move needed to be. As far as he was concerned the ball was in her court, and in her mind, the ball was in his. This game was no different than the one they played thousands of miles away, every day, neither of them saying exactly what they meant, always waiting for the other to go first. But the longer he watched her face, the shorter his resolve stayed with him. "Kate..." he began slowly, setting his wine down on the side table next to the couch. A fleeting moment of panic jumped her stomach, and she prayed he wasn't leaving._

_"Yeah?" Came out a nervous response. She dropped her arm down, and watched him turn to face her._

_"I'm going to kiss you," he began, his voice very soft, leaning toward her, searching her eyes, brushing her curls behind her ear, "but I won't if you don't want me to." Her heart leapt, her stomach flipped and she couldn't stop the building of excitement bubbles in her abdomen. His face was questioning, as he waited patiently for an answer, knowing he owed her that much._

_"I want you to..." before her whisper could die on her lips, his warm lips covered hers, and she could honestly say she was surprised by how soft and inviting they were. It was a slow kiss, nothing too deep, or passionate. It was as if he were getting to know her through her lips, feeling out what she was willing to give, how she felt. All she could feel was her heart beating in her ears because it was racing so much, his lips on hers, breathing life into her soul, and the beginning of a familiar ache she hadn't felt in over two years. Except when she thought of him._

_When he pulled back, she waited a beat before she opened her eyes, trying to memorize the feeling of his kiss, in case it never happened again. It was hard to tell with him sometimes, whether it would. When she did open them however, she changed her mind, this time she initiated the kiss. He seemed a little surprised by her sudden action. This kiss was a little deeper than the first and she moved her hands to his thighs, as if bracing her self. Their bodies were still not close, each leaning in, but the feeling of her hands on his jean-clad thighs drove his mind crazy with thoughts of her. The kiss ended slowly as she withdrew and she bit her lip a little in what seemed like embarrassment. "I'm sorry..." she began, shaking her head with a smile. He searched her face, his brow furrowed._

_"Why?"_

_"For kissing you like that." She tilted her head to the side, and looked down at her hands, now back in her lap._

_"Would you stop apologizing?" he answered playfully, running a hand under her ear, pulling her gaze up to meet his. "I've been dying to kiss you like that." he paused, "Like this..." he again pulled her face to his, and this time it was explosive, as if they had been holding back the last two times. She felt herself moving to her knees, never breaking the kiss, and moving closer to him, knowing he wouldn't make the move himself, as he was waiting for her. Her arms found their way around his neck, and she played with the short hairs on the back of his neck while they kissed. His arms wrapped around her slim waist, pulling her closer, his need and want for her growing. He slid his leg out against the back of the couch and settled back against the armrest, her small body resting on top of him, in a position he'd only dreamed of feeling. She could feel her chest pressed against his, and felt her passion grow more with the feeling of his heart beating as fast at hers. She finally ended the kiss, again with the biting of her lip, the way that made him wish she was biting his lip. She giggled, and he rested his arms gently across the small of back, one hand unconsciously sliding over the skin that was exposed between her jeans and baby tee._

It was hours later when Kate awoke, her hand sliding over her lips. She could feel his upon hers, had so many times before, and thought when she opened her eyes that he would be before her, smiling down at her. She was disappointed; however, in devastating ways when she did open them, and all her eyes could focus on was the darkness of her bedroom. It had been light out when she had climbed into bed and she was surprised at how dark is had gotten. Sitting up, she turned on the light next to her bed and listened for any sound. It was quiet, but she thought she heard the television on downstairs. Resting her head back against the wooden headboard, she took a moment to assess how her body felt after her apparently long nap. She decided she felt better, not quite as tired and she actually had a bit of an appetite. Catching the clock, she was surprised to find she had slept for over six hours, and realized how much she had probably missed of the day, and how much of a failure of a parent she felt like. Sliding her legs over the edge of the bed, she stood carefully and quietly, walking slowly out of her bedroom and into the hall. Checking Adam, he was asleep soundly. She knew Aaron would be too, as it was after his bedtime, and Kate made her way down the stairs, thankful for that. She wasn't ready to deal with anymore of his dramatics tonight. Margo was on the couch, catching up on the local news when she heard Kate approaching and turned, flashing the younger woman a small smile.

"When I told you to take a nap, I didn't expect you to sleep all day," she laughed lightly, taking in Kate's rested appearance. She flushed at the comment, and Margo was glad to see some color had returned to her cheeks. "How do you feel?"

"Better, thank you." She took a tentative seat next to Margo, and looked around the house, still surprised Claire wasn't around. "Have you seen Claire?"

"Yes. She was down here with me for a while. We cooked the kids dinner and spent some time talking before I sent her on her way. I think she's probably asleep now too." Margo concluded, and Kate found herself wishing for Margo's strength once more.

"How is she?" Kate pondered. She hadn't seen her since breakfast. Margo shrugged.

"She's okay, I'd say. Definitely not great, and not dealing with this situation well. She's resentful. Not so much of you or Aaron, just the situation in general. She regrets a lot."

Margo's words touched Kate and she contemplated these things. "I feel terrible about it, actually. I'm so torn on how I feel. Some days I want her to want to let me keep him, other days I wish I could just tell him and he would just accept her and it would all be over. But neither of those are realistic. And it hurts." Kate pulled her loose curls up and onto her head, tying them up with a hair elastic.

"Of course it does. None of this is easy, or ever going to be. I understand your emotions. What I don't understand is why you're not taking care of yourself anymore. I know we just had this conversation last week, but I haven't seen an improvement, Kate. How are you supposed to parent these children when you can't even take care of yourself?" Her words were accusatory and Kate immediately felt the prickle of tears. She felt like a little kid as she rubbed her eye with the heel of her hand. She knew the question was rhetorical so she let it pass for a moment before Margo continued. "You owe it to Jack to raise these children well. He would struggle if roles were reversed, we both know that, but he would try his hardest. And I know you're trying, sweetie, but something is holding you back. Either you don't have enough strength because you're not sleeping and eating, because trust me, I have noticed these things, or you're going through something you refuse to talk about. So which is it?" Margo was turned fully toward the younger woman now and Kate could feel her resolve crumbling. She stared at her hands for a few moments, before speaking quietly.

"You're right, Margo. I haven't been eating well or sleeping well lately. I'll be better. They deserve better." She knew those words were true, but she was lying. Her stomach felt nauseous again as she peered up at the older woman's dark eyes. They searched her green ones, and she could tell Margo didn't believe her. But to her relief, and Margo's credit, despite her raised eyebrow, she nodded.

"All right, Kate. I'm here to help you, but please, try to call me next time, before I find you wallowing in sorrow at the kitchen table. I will cook for you, or watch the kids, whatever you need. Maybe you and Claire should get out, go to lunch maybe. Just the two of you. Maybe you could work through some of your issues." Margo offered the idea, and Kate shrugged, seeming to contemplate the idea. Margo knew there was more to the brunette in front of her than she was choosing to reveal at this moment, but she also knew, whatever it was, would just come out with time. Kate was strong, but she knew she'd break eventually. All Margo wanted was for her to let someone, anyone, in and to let someone else carry the load for a while.

"Yeah, maybe. She's a hard one. She doesn't seem to want to talk to me a bout anything." Kate curled her knees up to her body, knowing soon she would be unable to do such a position.

"Well, encourage her. I did tonight. And she talked through some things with me. This is never going to be easy for either of you, or Aaron. Speaking of which," Margo lowered her voice, peering toward Aaron's room, "you need to talk to him about Jack. He's pushing you away because he doesn't understand what happened to his father and why he's not here. And he's smart enough to know he's not on a business trip. He's going to think Jack abandoned him if you don't tell him the truth."

"You think it's better to tell him he's dead?" Kate asked incredulously, her face streaked with horror. Margo knew some of the horror was because of Aaron, but most of it was because Kate truly hadn't accepted the fact herself.

"Yeah, I do. I also think you might want to talk to someone. I don't know that you've completely accepted his death either." Margo spoke the words gently, placing a hand on Kate's knee, and felt bad as she watched Kate's face turn to betrayal.

"I have too accepted it. Weren't you there beside me when we put that memorial stone in the ground?" Her words were bitter and Margo wanted to take back her own words, but she knew they needed to be said.

"I was, dear, and you were a different person then. You had accepted it, or so it had seemed, and you were being strong for the kids. A few weeks ago, you changed. I'm not sure why you've suddenly gone back to not accepting what happened, but you need to find your way back to being strong again. They feed off you, Kate-Claire, Adam, and Aaron. If you're not strong, they're not going to be. Someone has to guide them. And that was you until recently. You need to come back from whatever isolation you put your feelings and emotions into and move on from them. This is the second time I've mourned my son, Kate. I have a feeling this time it's permanent so we all need to grieve and move on. Do you understand me? And that includes allowing Aaron to, as well." Kate could feel tears as she nodded, understanding what the older woman meant, and also knowing what she said was true. But if she knew the real reason Kate was struggling, maybe she would be more accepting, Kate thought to herself. However, she had to remember it was her fault Margo didn't know. She just didn't feel like talking about it. Was that so wrong?

"I'll talk to Aaron," Kate resolved, her eyes watering. Margo wrapped an arm around her shoulders and snuggled her close.

"It'll all be okay, sweetie. You'll get through this and everything will be fine. It's just a process." She kissed Kate's forehead and held her for a moment, and Kate felt like the embrace was the first time she'd shared one with someone in weeks. At least one that was comforting. Kate wondered what Aaron's reaction would be when told about Jack. She decided to read up on the subject before she proceeded. Maybe a book could help her.

Margo released Kate after several moments, and Kate was surprised when she ached for the embrace to continue. She kissed the younger woman's forehead again, and stood.

"All right, dear, I'm going to head home. Call me in the morning." She picked up her purse as Kate followed her to the door. "And call me if you need anything at all. Okay?" Kate nodded and Margo hugged her one last time. "I love you, sweet girl. Hang in there. This too shall pass." Kate again felt the warm tears, and as Margo left, allowed herself to slide down the closed front door, to the floor, her body racked with silent sobs. She was so surprised sometimes by the amount of love and forgiveness that her husband's mother showed her. Kate knew they bonded for life by the life of their grandson, and Kate was thankful for that fact. Margo would always be there for her, she was sure of that. And she appreciated it, because if there was one thing Kate was unsure of how to do at this moment, it was being there for herself.

* * *

_**All right, so I'm really in need of you thoughts after this chapter. And I'll give some lead-ins to the next chapter…which I don't do often. Also, I posted a sneak peak on my Tumblr for this chapter, and will probably do so for the next. The link is in my profile. Check it out, and if you're on Tumblr, if you follow me, I'll follow back :) **_

_**Next chapter…a much anticipated moment between Kate and Aaron…which leads to an interesting twist with Claire, and some Kate and Suliet.  
**_

_**Hope you liked this chapter. Reviews are ALWAYS appreciated, and I'm sorry I suck at responding. But I appreciate each and every one. Thank you, thank you, thank you. **_


	55. Chapter 53

Chapter 54

_WOW! Thank you all so much for the reviews! We're getting to a bit of a climax here so hold on to your hats. :)_

* * *

"_I miss you  
I miss being overwhelmed by you  
And I need rescue  
I think I'm fading away"_

_Sister Hazel 'Best I'll Ever Be'_

* * *

Kate munched on the pickle and closed her eyes in ecstasy as she enjoyed the garlicky dill taste. She had the strangest cravings, as she had with Adam, and she was having a hard time hiding them from Claire, or Margo for that matter. She was enjoying her snack immensely when Claire wandered into the kitchen, carrying her laundry basket. She eyes Kate suspiciously, watching her chew the delicious, dilled cucumber.

"Since when do you eat pickles?" She chided Kate, a curious grin covering her face. It was true that Kate hadn't had a bottle of pickles in the house since Claire had come to live there and, unbeknownst to Claire, probably hadn't eaten a full once since she was a child. Kate shrugged, trying to act nonchalant, sliding the lid back on the jar, wishing she hadn't been caught indulging in such a fashion.

"I eat pickles. I just haven't bought any in a while." She slid the pickles back into the fridge and poured herself a glass of water. "Do you eat pickles?" She asked back, regarding the blonde woman who had settled her basket on the counter and was leaning casually against it, eyeing Kate.

"I did when I was_ pregnant_." She stressed the word and raised an eyebrow at the brunette before her, who was trying to busy herself with her back to Claire so she wouldn't see her pink cheeks. Sliding dishes in the dishwasher, Kate remained silent. As Aaron came clamoring into the kitchen with a cowbell and a drum stick, the conversation was dropped as Kate moved quickly to silence the loud child, before he woke Adam from his nap. She wished she hadn't moved as quickly, knowing she should let Claire handle the little boy, but sometimes she couldn't help herself.

"Shhh, baby, Adam's sleeping." Kate encouraged, reaching for the instrument. She knew it was from Jack, back when he and Aaron would play instruments together, his guitar long untouched in the corner of the living room. The cowbell had been next to it, until now. And Kate wished it to find its way back there. Aaron yanked the instrument from her and banged on it louder, if possible. Kate counted to ten, quickly, before reaching for it again. "Aaron, give me the cowbell, please." She asked, her voice a solid tone. Aaron should his head, yelling 'No!' over the metal object and ran into the living room, clanging it louder. Claire watched as Kate grabbed the child's arm gently and asked him again, without yelling to hand her the instrument. He fought her a moment, yelling that he didn't want to, before Adam started to cry. "You're going in time out, now, mister. I asked you nicely twice. You know better than this." Her voice was calm as she attempted to pick up the fussing three year old. He continued to cry out, pushing her away. "Aaron, what is the matter? Stop kicking. That's enough," Kate tried to keep her hands on the young child without hurting him and managed to crouch and get him almost firmly in her grasp.

Claire actually thought Kate had him under control until he spastically kicked out, catching Kate in the stomach. Claire would have thought Kate to not react, knowing her abs must be able to take the abuse of a small child, but instead the woman reeled quietly to the ground from her crouching position, landing on her knees. Claire watched as Aaron scurried away, crying for his father, as Kate caught her breath on the living room carpet. Moving to her, she kneeled beside her, placing a comforting hand on the older woman's shoulder.

"Kate, are you all right?" Claire asked, concern laced in her voice. Kate's eyes were shut tightly, as if she was counting, but it wasn't more than five seconds before she opened them, fighting back a few tears. She nodded, sucking in a breath.

"Yeah, I'm okay. He just knocked the wind out of me, is all." She replied, though Claire spied the way her hand held onto the material below her lungs, settling right under navel.

"Are you sure? It looked like it hurt." Claire pushed a little, feeling like Kate was hiding something. She shook her head though, offering a small smile.

"No, really, I'm okay. I don't know what's gotten into him lately. He's been so bad." Claire now wasn't sure if Aaron had actually hurt Kate, or just her feelings.

"He's like that for me too. When you were gone yesterday, all he did was scream and cry. Adam's better behaved than he is." Claire helped Kate stand and Kate brushed her curls from her face, surveying the younger woman before her, who's feelings appeared just as hurt as her own, even if for different reasons.

"He's really struggling without Jack. I don't know what to do. I'm sorry he's like this, Claire." Kate was sincere in her apology, but could tell Claire didn't really want to hear it.

"If you're okay, I'm just going to get back to my laundry." As she spoke, a cry was heard from up the stairs, and Kate sighed, closing her eyes for a brief moment. "I'll let you get to that," Claire finished, moving back to her basket and moving off with her things, to the laundry room. Kate settled her hand on the small, hardened mound under her shirt and sighed heavily, the spot still tender where Aaron had kicked her. Jack's baggy tee shirt was helping her hide the belly for now, especially since it wasn't big, she was only 14 weeks, but she could see the difference, and she knew in a few weeks, other people would too. Her dress skirts and her jeans were almost beyond fitting at this point, because there wasn't much give to her belly anymore. She had her maternity clothes still from Adam, but she was putting of wearing them, knowing Margo would spot them instantly. Part of her wanted to allow herself to embrace this baby, but she just couldn't bring herself to smile about it. Instead she just cried, late at night, when no one could hear her and no one was around to notice. She knew eventually thought, someone was going to catch on. It was just a matter of time. She figured Margo already knew, but was just waiting for her to say something.

Kate carried herself up the stairs to get her crying infant and suddenly felt teary eyes, again. She needed help, real help, and Claire wasn't much of the sort. Kate didn't blame her, understood even, but she still wished someone would help her get through this. If Jack were here, she knew she'd have it easy, as he'd be around all the time, helping her, doing things for her, carrying the children. She blinked back a few tears at the thought of him getting on her for carrying Adam around as much as she did. She knew he'd bother her to let him do it, and it made her heart break knowing he wasn't there to do so. And she knew, if he were watching her from somewhere else right now, he'd be mad that she still carried him, but she didn't have a choice. There wasn't anyone else, and Claire didn't exactly offer to help with Adam regularly.

Sighing, she pushed open the door and picked up the baby, holding him to her chest. He calmed soon after, and as Kate leaned back in the rocking chair, she eyed the pictures displayed along the wall of the four of them as a family. She didn't understand how something she'd worked so hard to keep together, after everything, could have fallen apart so quickly? First Jack, now Aaron. Holding Adam tightly to her, she, for the first time, started to think of the baby in her womb as a blessing, instead of a curse. If she had to lose Aaron for what was best, as least she had half of Jack in her arms and inside her, both there to remind her of the love of her life.

* * *

Kate's eyes popped open to the sounds of cries coming from downstairs. Sitting quickly, she assessed the noise and moved immediately from her bed, her bare feet hitting the carpet. She padded down the stairs, her feet moving quickly, moving to Aaron's room quietly.

He had cried himself to sleep after the scene in the living room earlier that evening, and she had let him stay asleep, as he hadn't been sleeping well. She found him in her bed more often than not, and she tried to hide it from Claire, because she didn't want to hurt her feelings.

Pushing open his door, she saw the young child in his bed, hugging his stuffed Orca, his face buried in the soft plush creature. Kate was by his side instantly, snuggling the small child into her arms.

Kate embraced the crying child and attempted to calm him with her soft voice. Cradling his almost-four-year-old body in her arms, she sat down in the rocking chair in his room, rubbing his back as he straddled her lap, snuggling his tear-streaked face deep into her neck.

"Sweet pea, what's wrong?" She spoke the words quietly, worry consuming her as she held her (_Claire's_) son in her arms tightly.

"I had a bad dream," he cried, and Kate felt her heart go out to the young boy. It wasn't often he had nightmares and it always worried her when he did.

"Did you, baby? About what?" Aaron didn't respond, so Kate encouraged. "You'll feel better if you talk about it." He leaned back a little bit and his blue, tear-filled eyes stared into her green ones with a wisdom past his age. He was silent for a few moments before he spoke, staring at his little hands in Kate's lap.

"It was the same one as last time," he began and Kate's brow furrowed, her confusion evident.

"The same one as when?" She questioned, trying to follow his train of thought.

"Last time. Daddy came and got me." The child sniffled a little and Kate tried to think back to his last bad dream and it dawned on her, a memory flooding her about a conversation in the kitchen after Aaron had gone to bed, one about a bad dream he'd had about him having another mother, a mother they deduced to be Claire. Kate silently sucked in a breath.

"The one about you having another mommy?" Kate asked sympathetically, her heart breaking apart under the weight of the tiny child. He nodded against her chest.

"Yeah. This time she took me away." A sob escaped his lips and she shushed him, her own tears bubbling to the surface.

"Did she look the same as last time?" Kate waited, holding her breath for the answer. She didn't want to know what he would say, but knew she didn't have a choice, she owed it to Aaron to listen objectively, no matter how his words would hurt. He nodded against her again, and then leaned back, more tears cascading down his pale cheeks. She caught his little eyes and watched him cry.

"She looked just like Claire." The little boy spoke the words, almost as if he was questioning her, and she brought him fiercely to her chest, hugging him tightly. She didn't respond for a moment, didn't know what to say, and wished to the heavens Jack was there to help her. After tense moments of silence, because of Kate's lack of words, and her own battle of strength, Aaron's tiny voice spoke again. "Is she gonna take me, Mommy? Don't let her take me. Please." He leaned back again and the hopeless look upon his face broke her heart in two. He needed her reassurance that something, something he knew really nothing about, wouldn't happen, and she didn't know how to reassure him of something she couldn't reassure herself about. Kate rocked him for a long moment before pulling his slightly away from her, her soft fingers touching his little face, trying to decide if this was the right moment to tell this small child everything he needed to know.

"Baby, there are some things I need to tell you, okay? And you may not understand them now, but you will eventually." She pulled him closer to her again, his head resting against her heart. "I love you, so so much, okay?" Kate could feel tears well up in her eyes and could feel her throat closing in, but struggled to keep her composure for Aaron's sake. "I don't know why you're having these dreams, honey, but they mean something. You've been with me a long time, and for a long time it was just you and me, before Daddy Jack came along." He leaned back and watched her with his big blue eyes, and she would feel herself crumbling. Before she could continue, he spoke, his voice quiet and meek.

"I want Daddy." His little eyes were full of unshed tears and Kate couldn't bring herself to lie to him anymore. Margo was right, he needed to know the truth. She had been intending to tell him about Claire, but clearly he was more interested in the whereabouts of the man who, to him, was his father. And for all intents and purposes, really was.

"Sweet Pea, daddy can't be here anymore. He had to go be with Grandpa Christian." They had long told the little boy about Jack's father and about how he was in heaven with the angels. Death to a child is anything but final and anything but easy to understand, but she had a feeling he'd understand the idea of where Jack was through explaining who he was with. She watched as Aaron tried to understand what she was saying, and when he didn't respond, she continued. "Your daddy loved you very, very much, and he did not leave because he wanted to, okay? He had something very important he had to do, and he missed you just as much as you miss him. But he can't come back anymore, okay?" She watched his little face, wishing him to understand what she was saying.

"Daddy is in Heaven?" Aaron questioned, his little brain trying to grasp the large concept. Kate nodded slowly.

"Yes, sweetie."

"Like Simba's daddy?" Kate's eyes welled up at the comparison and she thought for a moment before nodding.

"Yeah, baby, like Simba's daddy."

"I miss him. I want him to come back." The little boy's voice was so small, Kate had to strain to hear it.

"Me too, sweetie. Me too." Tears fell from Kate's eyes as she couldn't keep them in anymore. Aaron watched her, taking in her broken heart, and he reached up with his little hand, like he had done before, and wiped a tear from her face.

"Don't cry, mommy. He loves you, too. He told me so." Kate laughed a little at the statement, more tears sliding down her cheeks.

"I know, baby, I just miss him like you do." Aaron snuggled against her chest, and she could feel his little sobs against her chest as he came to terms with what she had confessed. She knew he didn't understand what she had said, that he wouldn't until he was older, but she knew she had still hurt him. He needed to heal, just like she did.

"Mommy, don't let Claire take me. I don't want to go with her; I want to stay with you."

"I know, sweetie, I know." Kate sobbed quietly above Aaron's blonde head, comforting him as best she could. Aaron pushed back from Kate and grabbed her hand, holding it tight, his eyes pleading.

"Please, mommy. I'll be a good boy, I promise." It broke her heart more to think that he might think she was giving him to Claire on purpose. She cupped his cheeks and searched his little eyes, trying to soothe him.

"Aaron, this has nothing, _nothing_, to do with your behavior. I know you're a good boy, you just don't understand what's going on right now. If you have to go live with Claire, it's not because you were bad, okay?"

"I don't want to live with Claire!" His voice grew louder as he began to cry, holding onto her tightly. "I'll be good, I promise!" Kate held him tightly against her, realizing there was nothing she could say that would make sense to the small child. Instead she held him until he stopped crying, unable to make calming, false promises, or soothing statements of encouragement. Instead she cried with him, telling him she loved him, holding him just as tight as she could.

She rocked him until his cried turned to whimpers and he finally fell asleep in her arms. She held him for a long time after, unable to fathom putting him down, letting him go. She knew she needed to come up with a way to keep him, but she didn't know what the right move was. Holding him in her arms, rocking in the very chair she'd had since he was an infant reminded her of years prior, when he had been an infant, and she'd been all alone, rocking him back to sleep after unsuccessful midnight feedings, crying herself to sleep as well. She felt like she'd regressed. After finally getting her life back together, she'd lost one of the most important things to her and was picking up the pieces yet again, starting back at what felt like square one. She couldn't bear the thought of losing him too. She just didn't know how she'd hold on to him.

* * *

"I'm home," Kate called out as she entered the house the next day. Her trip to the grocery store had been a short one, having had to take both children with her due to Claire's reluctance to watch them that afternoon. Aaron had been glued to her side since waking up that morning, continuously asking her about Jack and his fate. He was curious about the idea of Heaven and what the angels did. Kate tried to keep it as basic as possible, not really willing to get into the whole concept with the three year old, and since Jack had died, she hadn't really been able to think about church, religion, angels, God, or Heaven, herself. She understood Aaron's curiosity, but as far as the answers were, they were few and far between for her.

Kate set Adam's carrier down on the table, along with some of the groceries and hollered out again to Claire, who had yet to answer. Settling Adam in his pack and play, and Aaron in front of cartoons, she went in search of her friend, suspecting maybe she was napping. Kate made her way up the stairs, unconsciously rubbing the small mound beneath her button down as she did so. Rounding the corner to the guest bedroom, she knocked, pushing open the door slightly, surprised by what she found.

All of Claire's belongings, what she had accumulated since being back, were gone. Kate moved to the closet, finding no clothing, all the drawers empty, everything gone. The room looked like it hadn't even been lived in for the last three months. Kate sat, shell shocked, on the bed, panic rising in her chest. She was gone? Just like that? Where had she gone? So many thoughts crossed her head, and she found it hard to breath for a moment. She knew things had been hard recently, especially with Aaron's acting out, but nothing had gotten too out of hand. Looking around one last time, she spied a note on the side table on the far side of the room. Quickly, she stood, reaching for it, reading it rapidly.

_Kate,_

_I'm sorry I left without saying goodbye. I just had to go. I'm going Sydney to see my mum. I don't know when or if I'll be back. _

_I heard what Aaron said last night, when he was crying to you. I couldn't stand hearing he didn't want to be with me. I'm sorry, Kate, but I just had to leave. You understand that right?_

_I'll call you when I'm ready to talk. Thanks for everything. _

_Claire_

Anxiety caused Kate's hands to shake and she found herself sitting on the bed, her stomach in knots, reading the note over and over again. She'd heard the conversation? Which part? None of it made sense to Kate, how Claire would just up and leave like that. After trying so hard to build some semblance of a relationship with Aaron, not to mention herself, she was just gone. Kate rested her head in her hands and took several deep breaths, trying to calm herself. Claire hadn't been a lot of help but she had been there to watch the kids or help pick up. Kate didn't know what she'd do now, at almost 15 weeks pregnant, with two children, and no husband to help her. And she worried for Claire. How upset was she? Was she all right? Kate never meant to hurt her. She'd only taken Aaron with her because he would have had no one else.

Kate stumbled back down the stairs and tried to figure out how to explain to Aaron that another person, the same person he so worried about and yet had grown accustomed to, had just stepped out. She knew he'd be as relieved as a little boy could be, knowing he was safe with Kate, with no move in the near future, but Kate felt unease and panic about this situation. Claire should have waited and they should have talked it out, she decided. Kate poured herself a large glass of water and drank it slowly, trying to calm herself. She couldn't do this alone, she was sure, and she knew what she had to do.

Picking up the baby, she instructed Aaron to the car, and buckled both children in secure, before climbing in and backing out of her driveway. She needed Margo, now more than ever, and she owed Margo a large dose of truth in return.


	56. Chapter 54

Chapter 54

_Thanks for the reviews :)_

Margo was paying bills in Christian's office when she heard what she thought was her front door slamming. Curious, she listened for a moment over the low classical music she was playing, and when she didn't hear anything else, she continued writing checks. It a few moments later when she was surprised by a whirlwind Kate bursting into the office, and shutting the door. Margo took in the frazzled woman before her, but before she could talk, Kate began, and Margo could tell she wasn't okay.

"Claire left. She just left. She packed her bags and is gone." Kate threw the note on the desk and kept talking, pacing while she did. Margo sat wide-eyed with her eyebrows raised as the teary young woman before her seemed to be losing her grip. "I went upstairs to find her and everything was gone. She didn't wait, didn't tell me nothing. Just packed up her shit and left, with just a note left behind." Kate's breathing was intense as she paced. Margo listened quietly, suspecting the whole story would come out in the next few minutes. "Last night Aaron had a nightmare, and when I went to him, he asked me not to let Claire take him away. He was crying, Margo, crying because he wanted to stay with me." She stopped pacing and rested her hand on her chest, and Margo could see the fresh tears cascading down her cheeks. "Do you know how that made me feel? Having a child I raised as _my_ son ask me not to let his biological mother take him away from me. Having him ask me to protect him from something I'm not even sure I can. What if she gets a lawyer? What if she tells the truth? She can have him just like that." A sob escaped her lips and Margo's brow furrowed as she tried to understand Kate's ramblings. "Apparently she heard him say that, and that's why she left. I don't know what she heard, because I sat with Aaron for a long time, but that must have been what she heard, his insistence that I not let her take him. He's been so bad lately and he told me he'd be good if I didn't send him away." Kate rubbed her temples and shut her eyes tightly. "It kills me to think he thinks I'd actually send him away, especially because he was bad. What kind of mother am I?"

While Kate was sniffling, and wiping tears, Margo took the moment to stand and move to Kate, embracing the younger woman. She wasn't ready, however, pulling back abruptly and raising her shirt, another sob escaping her lips. Margo's eyes widened at the protrusion in her abdomen.

"I'm pregnant, Margo! I lied to you! I couldn't bring myself to tell anyone because I didn't want it to be true. That's why I've been a disaster recently. I'm so sorry I didn't tell you, I just haven't been able to accept it." Dropping her shirt back down, Kate covered her face with her hands and sobbed openly now. "I'm so sorry, Margo. I'm so sorry." Margo immediately brought the young woman to her, wrapping her arms around her petite body, smaller than normal from her stress and lack of taking care of herself.

Kate cried into Margo's shoulder for what seemed like an eternity to Kate, before she felt she had calmed enough, leaning back from Margo's shoulder and wiping her eyes furiously.

"I am so sorry, you must think I'm a crazy person."

"For what?" was the first thing Margo had spoken the whole exchange and when Kate caught her eyes, all they held was understanding and sympathy. And Jack's deep brown color.

"For ranting like that. I'm just so upset." Margo could see her eyes welling up again, and encouraged her to sit on the leather sofa, rubbing her back softly. "I don't know what I'm going to do." Sniffling and hiccupping, Kate was embarrassed at how helpless she was.

"Katherine, why didn't you tell me you're pregnant?" Margo used a disciplinary tone and Kate felt her cheeks flush. She shrugged.

"I was ignoring it. I didn't want it to be true." Kate's voice was soft as she spoke, staring at her hands, and, subsequently, the mound above them.

"Why not?"

"I just lost Jack, I have two children already, one who I was supposed to give away, I'm trying to figure out how to continue paying bills indefinitely without Jack's income, and I was essentially taking care of Claire. When I found out I was having another baby, it was the _last_ thing I needed to hear."

"How far along are you?" Margo's voice was comforting, and Kate took more comfort in the way the older woman ran her hands down Kate's curls, soothing her.

"Fourteen weeks. I found out at eight."

"You've known for seven weeks and you haven't told anyone?" Kate knew the question was rhetorical and chose to continue staring at her hands. "Katherine, what is the matter with you?" Her voice was scolding and Kate's head shot up, pain scoring through her green eyes.

"What's wrong with _me_? I didn't impregnate someone and then go die on some God-forsaken island! I didn't choose this, Margo." Her tone was harsh as she stood, moving defensively away from the couch.

"Obviously, Kate, but Jack didn't either."

"He chose to die." Her tone was so harsh and her jaw so set, that Margo was shocked.

"You actually believe that?" Margo asked her incredulously.

"You weren't there, Margo. He literally told me to tell the boys he loved them because he wasn't coming with me." Kate began to tear up again, and Margo could see all the fresh wounds still unhealed in Kate's soul, and heart.

"Kate, we talked about what happened the day you got back. You had Sayid looking all over some country in Africa because you were sure he'd be there. He told you that himself."

"Apparently he wasn't telling the entire truth, because he couldn't promise me I'd see him again. He never made it back, Margo. He knew he wasn't coming back." Kate's body was again racked with sobs, and while Margo knew she needed to grieve, her constant anxiety and stress wasn't healthy for someone at this stage in their pregnancy.

"Kate, you need to take a deep breath, okay? This isn't healthy for you or the baby. It needs you to take care of yourself and to be strong for it, and you need to do a better job of that, okay?" She stood, pulling Kate into another embrace, and held her, again, until she quieted.

"Why'd he leave me, Margo? I don't understand what I did." Her voice was so meek, Margo actually felt a piece of her heart break for the young woman before her at the thought that her daughter-in-law actually blamed herself for what happened. There were so many ways, so many angles for Kate to look at this situation, and clearly she had been around the circle once already, rehashing them all for her now. Margo pulled back and cupped Kate's face, taking in her bloodshot eyes and tearstains.

"Sweetie, you didn't do anything. I raised that stubborn man and when he has something planted in his brain, he can't see anything else. I don't know why he did what he did, and I'm not going to spend time speculating with you, because that would get us nowhere. But I will tell you, right now, you didn't do a damn thing. You were wonderful to him, and he loved you and those boys so much. He would be thrilled if he knew about this baby." She kissed Kate's forehead for emphasis and wiped the tears streaming down her face again.

"How am I supposed to do this by myself?" Kate's eyes were wide with worry, but Margo shook her head as if pushing those worries away.

"We will take it one day at a time. Your main focus needs to be your health and your children, all of them, including the one right here." She rested her hand on Kate's stomach and for a moment her eyes lit up. "I never thought I'd get one grandchild from my son, let alone three." Kate giggled through her tears and Margo's face relaxed into a grin. "That's my girl. Things could be worse, honey. We'll get through this, okay? I promise you, I'm here for you no matter what." Kate nodded, sniffling, and Margo searched her eyes. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'll be fine. I think I just needed to have a moment of freaking out."

Margo nodded. "Yeah, probably. Enough, though. We cannot change what happened, we can only move on without what is going to happen. We need to prepare for this baby, figure out your financial situation," she listed off everything Kate had listed before, adding, "where are the boys anyway?"

"Napping in your living room. Or at least they were when we got here." They wandered out of the office together, and rounded the corner to the living room where both boys were still sound asleep. It was their naptime, and Kate had been grateful when they'd fallen asleep in the car. Margo wrapped an arm around Kate's shoulder and gave her a squeeze.

"Have you told Aaron?" Margo asked curiously. Kate nodded, and Margo eyed her, surprised.

"I told him last night. He took it as well as I could have thought. We cried together for a while."

They sat in the sitting room for a while and chatted calmly over a cup of tea, determining their next moves in the financial and baby department. Margo agreed to go to her next apart, and Kate sighed in relief, inwardly, at how much better Margo had made her feel. Her world wasn't ending, as she had thought it was, and Margo had talked her off the ledge, yet again. So many things reminded Kate of Jack when she was with Margo, and once again, she had a moment, realizing that she still had Margo too, along with Adam and her unborn child. Even Aaron had Jack in him. He was all around her, she just had to learn to accept that, for now, that would be enough for her.

"Let's look foreword to something," Margo encouraged, and Kate raised an eyebrow, "at your next appointments, let's find out the sex of the baby, shall we? That way we can start thinking of names. Aaron can help. Won't that be fun?"

Kate laughed at the thought, and nodded, finding joy somewhere in that thought, as Margo had. She was right, they needed to look foreword to something, and finding out whether it was a boy or a girl she was carrying sounded like a fun thing to know. She hadn't found out last time, and she and Jack had shared that welcome mystery. Now it was she and Margo's turn to share something special. Kate agreed, and with every passing minute, could feel a little piece of her heal. Maybe she wasn't all that alone after all.

_I know, a short update, but I'm getting to some HAPPY stuff. I felt like you all needed something to look foreword to, so guess what? Next chapter you'll learn the sex of our jaby :) :)_


	57. Chapter 55

Chapter 55

_I hope everyone has been enjoying this story..I know I have :) Thank you for your continuous reviews and support. I'm looking to get 56 and 57 posted before July 6th, but we'll see. Don't hold me to it but I'm trying really hard! :)_

* * *

Kate settled on to the exam table and shifted uncomfortably, not sure if it was the position on the table that was uncomfortable, or being naked from the waist down, covered only by a sheet, in front of Jack's mother. There was no way she could go back on asking Margo to see the baby now, as she watched her mother-in-law grin ear to ear as her OB set up the ultrasound machine.

"You're really showing, now," her doctor remarked, smiling at Kate and Margo. It was agreeable, Kate's belly had expanded past where she was last time with Adam at 20 weeks. "Just in time for the winter months, you have a constant source of warmth," the women all laughed, and Kate went back on her uncomfortable thoughts, glad Margo was there to support her.

"Yeah, I'm already in maternity clothes. I have a feeling I'll get big this time," Kate giggled, and thought back to the belly she'd had before.

"You never know, you could probably stand to gain a few more pounds where you are now, but you're definitely not under weight. Looks like someone's been taking good care of you since last time you were here," Dr. Patterson winked at Margo. It seemed to be common knowledge that Kate had been suffering since having been told she was pregnant, but in the last few weeks, since her freak out at Margo's, she'd been taking each day as it came, and embracing her, now, semi-large belly. Between planning for Aaron's fourth birthday, looking for a part time job, caring for her babies, she was tired but happily occupied. She had taken Aaron and Adam to Jack's grave, allowing them to play under the shade of the large tree, Aaron talking happily to Jack's grave about his new baby brother or sister, and Adam trying to eat the blades of grass that grew around the stone. Kate had told Aaron he could talk to the stone, as she had, and he would, telling it stories and asking his father to come back. Kate would hold back tears and smile at the child, knowing it wasn't possible but unable to break the boy's spirits.

"Yeah, she's doing a great job of keeping me in line." Kate looked up at Margo, who had Kate's hand grasped in hers as the doctor pulled up the image of Kate's fetus on the screen. The little being was rolling around wildly, and Kate laughed, knowing she could feel what felt like butterflies in her stomach, and knowing it was the baby.

"Looks like you have a wild one in here this time. Adam was much calmer." Dr. Patterson quipped with a grin, as she listened to the heartbeat and checked its size. "It's a little smaller than Adam was, but that doesn't mean anything. Did you want to be surprised like last time?"

"No, we want to know this time. Can you tell?"

"If it would stop swimming, I'm sure I could get a good look…" she repositioned the wand on Kate's stomach a few times before grinning at the expectant mother.

"What?" Kate asked, looking from the screen to Margo, and then back at the doctor. She gave Kate a kind look.

"Looks to me like you're having a girl," Dr. Patterson told Kate and Margo, who exchanged looks of surprise and excitement. "These things can change, but I'll look again when you come back at 25 weeks and we'll make sure she's still a girl."

"Oh, a girl. I'm excited! A little granddaughter to spoil!" Margo kissed Kate's forehead and Kate felt elated, but a little afraid. Sometimes the responsibility overwhelmed her, but the thought of having a girl excited her. "Wait until you tell Juliet and James later! You said she's having a girl too, right?" Juliet and Sawyer were joining Kate for dinner, while Margo watched the boys for her. Kate nodded.

"Yep. I have to say, I'm thrilled it's a girl." Kate grinned happily the whole time the doctor finished her exam and then dressing, and climbing into Margo's white Mercedes sedan. She patted Kate's leg.

"Now, we definitely have something to look forward to." Kate couldn't help but feel excitement bubbling in her stomach at the idea of dressing a little girl up, with her green eyes and Jack's dark hair.

* * *

The knock sounded at Kate's door and she set the water glasses down on the table before moving to open it. She had invited Sawyer and Juliet over for dinner to catch up; they hadn't seen each other but one other time since being back, a few months ago, before Kate knew she was pregnant. Now, with her twenty-week baby bump, showing in her green cotton maxi dress, she smiled at the shock that passed over Juliet and James' faces as she opened the door.

"Hi," she smiled, breathing a little sigh of exertion at moving quickly to the door. Brody came bounding, barking behind her, from somewhere farther in the house, and she caught the large dog by the collar before he playfully trampled Sawyer. "Down, Brody," she encouraged the shepherd sternly, who's ears were pointed straight up as he inspected the new visitors.

"Well look at you, Freckles! Pregnant, barefoot, and herding big dogs." Juliet rolled her eyes at James, and smacked him playfully as Kate welcomed them into her home, laughing at his comment.

"Hi Sawyer," she responded as she enveloped a very pregnant Juliet, their bellies making the hug very awkward. They giggled as they each rested a hand on the other's stomach. "You look so good! How are you?" Kate smiled largely at the blonde woman before her who grinned happily back.

"I'm great, how are you? I didn't know you were pregnant, too!"

"I didn't either," Kate laughed, "not until about twelve weeks ago, anyway. It's been an adjustment period." She gave a strong front but both Juliet and James immediately sympathized for the younger woman. "I'm twenty weeks," she grinned, "when are you due?" she asked Juliet curiously as they made their way into the house, Sawyer preoccupied with the playful, eighty pound dog Kate found herself constantly chasing after. She peered at Sawyer and laughed, along with Juliet.

"December." Peering at James, she added, "As you can see, we haven't made that leap yet." Juliet laughed, taking in her love as he tussled with the sweet dog. Kate rested an arm across her belly, and one on her hip with a sigh.

"Jack and Aaron rescued him before…" she couldn't bring herself to finish the thought, and continued over it with another, small sigh, "He was just a small puppy when they found him, and I've been trying really hard to implement rules, and behavior with him. He sleeps with me now, and lies on all the furniture, but he's a sweet dog and listens very well, for the most part. He's a little wild because he probably doesn't get the exercise he needs, for obvious reasons, but we try to all go for a walk at least four times a week. He's wonderful with the kids, though. Very gentle and protective." She was glad he was getting attention from an adult male, as there wasn't a lot of that happening anymore.

"He's great! I'll borrow him once and a while, if that's all right with you, Blondie," Sawyer winked at Juliet, who grinned lovingly back.

"As long as he doesn't eat my house and home, he's welcome any time." Kate knew they were trying to help her, offering up what little they could to help her in anyway they could, and she appreciated the gesture.

They made small talk as Kate finished dinner, offering Sawyer a beer and she and Juliet sipping on Pellegrino. She laughed a little to herself at the thought of spending time with them here, now, in her house, Juliet pregnant, Sawyer clean-shaven and his hair cut a little shorter, everyone appearing so normal. They enjoyed each other's company through dinner, chatting about their coming babies and their everyday lives. Juliet was a practicing MD again, working at St. Sebastian as a fertility specialist and an obstetrician, and James was working as a private investigator, his past as a confidence man being very helpful. He worked closely with the LAPD, which seemed laughable to Kate after all she knew about his past, but she was happy for him. After all, who was she, living in her glass house of no college degree, married to a late neurosurgeon, with two children and one on the way with no foreseeable income in the future besides what she had left of her Oceanic settlement and the money Sayid had supplied them with after their rescue, to throw stones.

After dinner, when Juliet excused herself to answer a page from a colleague about a patient, Sawyer turned to Kate seriously, changing the light hearted mood that filled her back porch.

"Listen, Kate, I just want you to know how sorry I am that Jack didn't turn up like he was supposed to. If you ever need anything, don't hesitate to call me or Jules. We're both here for you." She appreciated his serious, caring tone, and his sympathy, but she couldn't allow herself to go there, emotionally. She had come so far in the last six weeks. She couldn't take that turn back now, not when she was finally starting to heal.

"Since when do you call me Kate?" she chided, laughing a little while she sipped on her mint tea. Sawyer gave her a dubious look and she continued, ignoring him. "James, I'm fine. It's been a long road to get where I am, and I am still very much in love with, and mourning, Jack but I can't change what happened. Whatever happened, happened. I just have to pick up the pieces and keep going, for those two little boys, and this little girl." Kate patted her protrusion affectionately and she saw what she interpreted as pity slide over Sawyer's face. "Don't pity me, James. Have you ever known me not to handle what's thrown at me?" She gave him a reassuring grin and felt somewhat relieved as Juliet rejoined them in the Adirondack chairs on the large back porch.

"Kate, these are not very 'pregnant woman' appropriate," Juliet giggled as she slowly sank down into the tilted chair. Kate and Sawyer laughed as she settled. At eight months pregnant, Juliet welcomed the November air, cooling her constantly warm body.

"Yeah, they were bought more for aesthetic reasons than anything," She giggled at Juliet's heavy, agreeing sigh. "You guys are coming to Aaron's birthday party next week, right?"

"We wouldn't miss it! I can't believe he's going to be four!" Kate had filled them in on the situation with Claire, and they understood her apprehension. It had been five weeks since she had heard from the younger woman, who had no intention of joining them in celebrating her son's fourth birthday.

"What day in December are you due?" Kate asked Juliet curiously, the subject of her son reminding her of Juliet's upcoming birth. Juliet exchanged a look with Sawyer before speaking.

"It's December 3rd, actually." There was a long pause as Kate took in the information, surprised and suffering, again, the little pains that shocked her heart when she thought of him.

"We know he'd be honored," James kidded, urging the conversation back into neutral territory. Kate looked between the two for a moment before cracking a smiling, relaxing the two people before her.

"You do realize you have to name her Jacqueline now, and call her Jackie for short?" The three adults laughed into the night and Kate realized this was some of the best kind of healing anyone could offer. With each moment she felt closer to Jack than she had in a long time, sitting with people who had known him and seen him in last minutes. She knew Juliet and Sawyer knew why he had done what he did, and she didn't need to explain his actions. She also knew she would continue to be very close to the two people in front of her, and their baby girls would grow up to be close, Kate hoped in that moment.

* * *

"Thank you for coming over, it was so nice to see you guys," Kate gave them a genuine smile as she opened the door for Sawyer and Juliet. The blonde woman gave Kate a big smile and enveloped her in a sweet, though still awkward, embrace and they laughed at their bellies.

"Thank you for having us, Kate." She touched Kate's bump just slightly, adding, "and if you ever need anything or have any questions, please feel free to call. It's a little more casual when a friend can answer your pregnancy questions," the woman laughed and Kate nodded.

"I might just take you up on that," her face turned a little red and James covered his ears.

"Please wait until I'm not around, I don't need to know any of you female stuff," he teased, leaning in the kiss Kate on the forehead. "You need anything, Freckles, just call." Juliet nodded her agreement and Kate smiled her thank you, wishing them to drive safely. Shutting the door, she listened to the stillness of the house and wondered if she should call Margo and go pick up the children, who were spending the night at her place. Realizing both children were probably in bed, Kate made herself another cup of tea and wondered, with Brody, up the stairs, and into her bedroom. She set her tea down and flipped on the television, settling on a mundane entertainment news program, just to fill the silence.

Kate rubbed her stomach as she made her way into the closet to change for bed. She sighed when she spied Jack's clothes, all still hanging or folded as they had been the day the had left in July. She couldn't bring herself to take them down and throw them away, not yet. His lab coat was starched and hanging first in the closet and she ran her hand down the arm, before moving to the next set of suit jackets. She lifted the second arm, his favorite black jacket, to her nose and inhaled the sent that still hung on it. Selfishly, she enjoyed the moments she could envelope herself in his tee shirts or his sweat pants, especially now at twenty weeks pregnant, or his dress shirts when she felt the need to be close to him. Moving on was so far from her mind, she couldn't bare the thought of sharing herself or her babies with anyone else.

Impulsively, she pulled the jacket off the hanger and slid it on. It was big and roomy, but smelled of his aftershave and cologne, and as she closed eyes and breathed in the scent, it was almost as if she could feel his arms wrapped around her. She wrapped her own arms around herself and relished in the feeling of being less alone. When she finally opened her eyes, she caught glimpse of herself in the full length mirror he had put on the back of the closet door, and smiled a little at the sight of her belly peeking through the opening of the jacket. She ran her hands over the mound and could hear him telling her how cute she would look right then.

Sliding her hands into the pockets, she felt like a little kid playing dress up in the large jacket. Her fingers on her right hand grazed a piece of paper, and curious, Kate pulled it out. It was folded and looked warn. When she tried to open it, she could tell it had been there a long while, as it fought the motion and was stiffly creased. When she had the piece open all the way, at first she couldn't figure out what the columns of names represented, and then she determined what it was as it dawned on her and she felt a few tears prickle her eyes.

A list of baby names, categorized by boy names and girl names stared up at her in Jack's handwriting, and she immediately felt an unexplainable warmth run through her veins. She'd never seen this particular sheet, and clearly it was from before Adam was born, since Adam was about half way down the list of boys' names, and many of the other names he had expressed interest in were also on the page. Some were in pencil, some in black pen, blue pen, or red pen, and she thought to herself he must have carried the sheet around, writing them down as he thought of them. The idea of him randomly coming up with names, proudly, and writing them down so he didn't forget touched her so deeply a few tears slid down her freckled cheeks. She found herself sitting amongst his shoes, immersed in the names before her, reading each and every one and trying to think of what might have struck him about each one. When she got to the girls' column, she diligently read each one he had written down, immediately knowing she'd pick one from his list. A few more tears spilled down her cheeks, and she knew she wasn't crying from sadness, or even hormones. She was so touched by the fact that this man, the man she had married and who had helped her create a loving, warm, wonderful home, had done something so simple, that she found yet so profound, and had he had never actually shared it with her.

She wondered why, but not for long, because it didn't matter. She was meant to find the little piece of paper now, after he was gone, another little touch of him around her home, to remind her of his influence on her life.

_Anna_

_Felicity_

_Dianna_

_Bailey_

_Kristen_

_Rebecca_

_Ashleigh_

_Hannah_

_Kailey_

_Kara_

_Mackenzie_

There were so many more to choose from, a list of at least fifty for each gender, and Kate knew it would take her more than today to determine what she would choose. Wiping her tears before they spilled on the precious piece of paper, she refolded it and carried it, along with his jacket, to the bed, where a tired Brody already lay sprawled out on her side of the bed. She had been sleeping on Jack's side while his pillows had still smelled like him, and now that they were clean, and no longer did, she had lost her side to the large dog who spent some of the night accompanying her in the large bed. Not bothering to change from the maxi dress, she climbed in her bed, with the jacket, and the note laying on the side table next to the bed, next to his watch and his college ring he had never wore much, she pulled out her wedding album from where it had been laying in the drawer of the table. Opening it, she allowed herself the trip down memory lane she had been taking often, the trip she felt was helping her heal. He'd always be alive in her memories, she knew, and though she was still devastated about his disappearance from her life, she was healing, piece of her heart by piece of her soul. She loved the man who's child she carried and who's children she cared for, and though he wasn't around anymore, she always had these pieces to remember him by. She rubbed Brody's head with one hand while she rested the book against her belly and flipped pages with the other hand, enjoying the beauty of the pictures before her.

She knew eventually she would have to box all these things, along with his belongings, but right now, she was content to allow his stuff to surround her. She felt less alone that way.

* * *

_Reviews are loooooove :)_

_Next chapter is going to be awesome…I'm just saying ;)_


	58. Note!

Good morning, all!

Unfortunately, I was unable to finish these two super chapters for you before I go out of town. I didn't want to post anything half-assed or short, because I hold generally high standards for my chapters, and what I had wasn't finished and as far as y'all have come with this story, it wouldn't be fair for me to post something unfinished or something I wasn't able to put my all into, especially at such an important part in this story. Please understand, and I will finish these chapters when I get back to town next week, and have them to you then. I tried but the weekend just didn't go how I planned for writing. I can tell you these chapters will be amazing, though. :D

Thank you all again SO much for always reading and reviewing. I appreciate each and every one of you and you make writing this story all the more fun and enjoyable. Thank you again, and enjoy the rest of your week!


	59. Chapter 56

Chapter 56

_A special thanks to Stef23.51 for all his help in writing his chapter, and many many more. Thank you for all your reviews everyone. They touch my heart in ways I can't describe. You are why I write this. Thank you :)_

"Sit, Brody," a petite, six-months pregnant Kate coaxed the large dog as Margo welcomed herself into Kate's lavishly decorated, jungle-themed house. She grinned at the brunette as she held the large dog back from licking Margo to death. The women shared a laugh. "I swear, someday he'll get it." Kate defended the aloof dog as he panted in excitement at Margo patted his head.

"When he's ten, maybe he'll have it down," Margo kidded, assessing the younger woman before her. "If you could be any cuter, darling," Margo started at Kate, who blushed immediately. All belly in her strapless black, knee-length dress, she grinned at her mother-in-law. She let go of the shepherd, who bounded away into the living room, and brushed a loose curl behind her ear.

"Thanks, Margo. I have to be honest, I feel like more like a cow than I did with Adam. She's much bigger." Kate patted her developing stomach affectionately and Margo reach out to touch the side.

"Quiet, you. You're gorgeous and you know it." She winked, before her face turned slightly solemn. "Have you felt it yet?" came the compassionate question. Kate pursed her lips, and shook her head, her eyes suddenly sad.

"Not yet." She rubbed the hard mound self-consciously and was silently glad for the interruption as Aaron came tearing into the room, dressed in a casual tee shirt and his little jeans, his sneakers already untied, and his soft blonde hair in all directions.

"Grandma! Today's my birthday party!" He exclaimed, hugging the older woman, who embraced him tightly.

"I know, baby. You excited?" She laughed as Kate grinned down at them, thankful for their relationship. He nodded vehemently.

"Yes! I can't wait for my cake!" He squealed, pulling her toward the kitchen. Kate followed behind, slowly, her mind wandering to the one thing she had been fighting for a few days now, the sadness and helpless feeling of wishing Jack were there with them, helping them celebrate his birthday. Their first year wedding anniversary, Thanksgiving and Christmas were also rapidly approaching, and that didn't help her mood. With her baby due in three months as well, she was teetering on the edge of tears almost daily, scared to fail, and afraid to live on, with three children, without him. She fought it most days, and rarely, at this point, ever let anyone, including Margo, see her cry, but she would find herself wrapped up in his shirts often, whether she was crying, watching television, or sleeping restlessly, her belly an uncomfortable size now. His shirts fit her almost perfectly around her protruding midsection, and that, she felt, was a blessing in and of itself.

Catching herself in the hall mirror, she grimaced at her appearance. She had bought the black maternity dress on Margo's insistance, a beautiful, tight-fitting, strapless black dress, that hugged her newly developed curves, and the baby mound itself, and Margo had encouraged Kate to buy it as a pick-me-up for the party. She had wanted to wear her maternity jeans and a loose fitting, baby-doll tank top, but Margo had shunned the idea, insisting that, is she was inviting guests, which Margo had took liberty at, as well, she needed to look the part, and stop wallowing in her large belly and depressed, Jack-missing state. After her breakdown, Margo was adamant at keeping Kate from going back down the rode of self-hatred and of beating her self down, helping her in any way she could, even in her self-esteem. She had become even more of a fixture in Kate, and her children's, lives, and Kate didn't know how to ever thank her for the help she gave, not only emotionally, but financially.

Grinning slightly, she did think, secretly, that pregnancy looked good on her. She would never admit it out loud, afraid of what that would sound like, but in the black dress, with her comfortable wedges, she felt more like a woman than she had in a while. And she was glowing. Now if only the baby within her would give her any indication she was alive, other than the occasional flutter and the proof on the ultrasound screen. The doctor assured her she was fine and healthy, but Adam had caused a ruckus as a fetus, and this one was the polar opposite. Deep down, Kate wondered if her melodramatic moods were affecting the baby negatively, but changed her thoughts as she heard Adam cry out.

"Brody, leave Adam alone!" Kate laughed, as the dog licked the baby's yogurt covered hand, despite the baby's discomfort. Shooing the large dog off, Kate cleaned up her son as she listened to Aaron tell Margo all the things he hoped to get for his birthday.

It was soon after that the doorbell began ringing as their various guests began to arrive.

"Sun! Jin! I'm so glad you could make it!" Kate embraced her friend, who lovingly embraced back, giving Jin a bright, welcoming smile over Sun's shoulder. Ji Yeon took no time in running off into the house to find Aaron, who squealed with delight as his young friend appeared.

"We wouldn't miss it! How are you?" Sun grinned back, placing a hand on Kate's bulging abdomen. Kate blushed and shrugged.

"Tired. But good." She answered somewhat honestly, and her friends, though always concerned for her, accepted her answer, as she hugged Jin and welcomed them into her home. She and Sun often talked on the phone, and sometimes she would call her to confide, but with Jin back, she wanted to allow her friends their time to catch up and enjoy each other. She took in Jin in his business suit and decided he looked much better in the suit than in their jungle attire. She wrapped an arm around Sun's waist and the two embraced again for a moment.

"The house looks great! You really pulled all the stops." Jin laughed, taking in the jungle theme, large fake leaves hanging all around, with fake stuffed lions, tigers, and snakes galore. Sun and Kate laughed, and Kate rolled her eyes.

"He wanted a jungle theme. And Margo does _nothing_ on a small scale. I tried to do just the living room, but whatever her grandson wants, he pretty much gets." The three of them laughed, and Jin playfully shuddered.

"I think this will be the one and only time I venture back into a jungle. No safaris for me." They all laughed, enjoying their banter and the comfort in which they all received from each other, knowing silently there was one of their group missing. Sayid peaked his head through the open front door.

"I come baring arms," Sayid joked, poking a long shaped present through the door before himself. The three in the foyer made room for him, and Nadia, and their newest addition, a baby girl they had named Mina. She was a few months old, and adorable, as Sun, Kate, and Jin all gathered around to oohh and ahh over the newest addition to their group.

"I can't believe how big she's gotten!" Kate exclaimed, holding the infant on her belly. Nadia laughed as she touched the mound.

"Makes a great shelf, doesn't it?" She grinned as the group laughed. Kate loved how they all gathered together for occasions and loved how each time they got together, there was a new addition, or a happy announcement. And when they reminisced, Kate knew they were the ones who would truly understand her pains and sufferings at losing Jack. Margo was a good stand-in for her friends, but these people had been there, had gone through it with her. And she knew they would always be there for one another.

Through the open door emerged Hurley next, and everyone greeted him warmly, including Aaron, who emerged at the sound of the large man, and hugged his leg tightly. Kate could feel goose bumps at the joy she felt upon seeing her friends again, and, after handing little Mina back to her mother, embraced Hurley fiercely, remembering all the times he had been there for her and listened to her cry about Jack after he had left her the first time.

"Dude, look at that lion!" Hurley exclaimed to Aaron, who's eyes lit upon hearing the name of his favorite animal.

"There's more! Come see!" As he pulled a laughing Hurley through the house, they all chuckled at the four year old and his explanations about the lions he had strategically placed like action figured throughout the large home. She always gave Hurley immense credit for always giving Aaron attention and playing into his child mind. Kate was again thankful for the people she was surrounding her children with, and new they would accept her daughter just the same.

A pregnant Penny slid through the open door next and everyone's eyes widened at the elusive pair, who spent most of their time traveling the world, only coming to visit on holidays, and took in their 3 year old son, Charlie, who clung to Desmond's leg, not quite as familiar with the group as Ji Yeon and Aaron. Exclamations of congratulations chimed through the house as hands landed on Penny's smaller mound, as she explained that she was four months along, hoping for a girl, also. Kate embraced Desmond, who kissed the side of her curls, and whispered his unsaid apologies for her loss of Jack. As a few tears clouded her eyes, she smiled through them, nodding her appreciation and giving him thanks. Kate called to Aaron, who came running, talking a million miles a minute about Hurley being attacked by Simba's mother, Kate knowing his imagination was running wild, and laughed at the thought of Hurley lying in her living room with a large stuffed cat on top of him.

"Sweet pea, this is Charlie you met him a few years ago." They had met at Christmas was Aaron was two, for the first time as youngsters and not babies, but Aaron's face didn't give Kate any recognition. "Can he play with you and Ji Yeon?" Kate was croutched between the two, Charlie with his hands still firmly placed on Desmond's leg, and Aaron assessing his new playmate. Nonchalantly, always the one with the big heart, he shrugged and nodded.

"Sure." He replied, causing a laugh to rise from the group. "Come on, Charlie. I have a pony dog in my living room." He bribed the boy, a bark coming from the other side of the house as if in response. Charlie gave Desmond an unsure look at Kate stood, receiving unsure looks from many of her friends.

"I have a dog," she explained, as the large beast rounded the corner into the crowd. "He's the size of a small pony, as you can see. And he's only 8 months himself." The men in the foyer greeted the happy dog with firm pats as the women raised their eyebrows at the petite pregnant woman before them. She shrugged, laughing to herself. "He was my birthday present from Jack," she kidded, smiling at the memory of finding Jack and Aaron in the garage with the dirty, lost puppy. Aaron commanded attention from the dog, patting his leg, and moving off, Charlie, now interested, timidly following.

"Come, Brody." The little boy sternly spoke, patting his leg again. The well-behaved dog, who loved his little boy, trotted off after the two boys, as Aaron told Charlie stories of his great dog, Brody. The adults laughed and Desmond lovingly kissed Penny's forehead at the scene, causing a small pain in Kate's heart. Her smile never faltered though, as more than anything, she wanted her friends to see her thriving, not grieving.

As if on cue, knowing they were the last of Kate's friends to arrive, Sawyer strode through the door casually, his hand on the small of his pregnant wife's back. "So this is where the party's at, huh? The foyer of your house, Freckles? Or should I say, the Amazon?" He kidded, and the group broke into hellos at Juliet and James. Juliet was due in a month, and she made it known, laughingly groaning as everyone placed their hands also on her belly, dying for her baby to kick. As if on command, the young fetus did, and their friends all gasped, as more congratulations rounded the room. Kate immediately felt envy and jealousy course through her body, her hand sliding to her own mound protectively as she wanted her friends all gather around Juliet and Sawyer, asking questions, and growing acquainted with another soon-to-be member of their clan. Sawyer caught her eye from across the group and his face was immediate sympathy, as he knew her plight. They had recently spoken, after their dinner together, and Sawyer had expressed his concern that it was her feelings that caused the baby to be so quiet within her. He had encouraged her to see someone, to talk about her thoughts, but she told him no one would understand what she was going through unless she told the truth. And she couldn't do it.

A beat passed, and to Kate's sigh of relief, people began to migrate into her jungle-ridden house, growing comfortable as Margo greeted them all, having given Kate her space with her friends, offering drinks and appetizers, as the entire kitchen and outdoor patio were lined with goodies for the kids, and samplers for the adults. Sawyer embraced Kate tightly.

"Hey-ya, Freckles. Hanging in there?" His voice was low as he patted down her wild curls. She nodded, knowing he would see through any façade she thought she could throw him.

"Trying." She answered truthfully. His eyes were soft and he kissed her forehead.

"Keep trying." He encouraged, "That's all you can do." They shared a soft smile before Juliet moved up next to them, also embracing Kate. She treasured these two people.

"Hi honey. You look beautiful." Juliet grinned at the brunette, who rolled her eyes in laughter.

"Thanks. That's a great color on you! You look wonderful." Kate gave the blonde a warm smile and laughed outloud at the glare she got in return.

"I'm a whale, we both know it, so don't lie." Kate watched Sawyer immediately disagree and loved that their relationship, despite all, was so pure.

"Hello, hello!" Came a familiar voice, and Kate greeted Cassidy with a surprised smile, embracing Clementine as she hugged Kate's side immediately. Cassidy shared a side hug with Kate as she gave a grin to Sawyer and Juliet. "Hi, James. Juliet." She greeted, and Kate was still astounded by the amicable attitudes the had toward each other after all.

One of the first things Sawyer had done upon arriving back in the States, was take Juliet to meet Clem, needing to put those demons to rest, and to get everything out in the open. The meeting had been a tense one, but Cassidy had accepted Sawyer's olive branch, and though they weren't about to disrupt Clem's life yet, at 5 years old, they were nice enough to each other to exchange emails about the child's well-being, and with his new job, Sawyer had agreed to help with some of the expenses. Juliet was supportive, as always, and encouraged him to someday create a relationship with his daughter. At least he was amicable with her mother, they all agreed. It was no an easy cross to bare for a man of Sawyer's clout.

"I didn't think you'd be able to make it!" Kate spoke to her friend, still surprised.

"I had trouble getting off work, but Clem wouldn't let us miss it. She begged all week, what was I supposed to do." She laughed, holding tightly to her pregnant friend.

Soon the house was full of run-amuck children, a wild, very excited German Shepherd, and happy adults, taking in their time together. Kate lead the games with the small children, Margo by her side, enjoying simple pleasures in the children enjoying themselves. Sawyer became camera man for her, videoing the important parts, including the presentation of Aaron's cake in the darkness of the kitchen. Everyone sang, and as they did, Kate felt her heart so proud she could burst at the seams. She took a small glance to the stars and prayed Jack was watching, feeling as proud as she was. The little boy closed his eyes, the most determined look upon his face as he wished his wish, before roughly blowing out every candle on his large sheet cake sporting a large plastic Simba.

Kate felt her throat close up as she knew what the little boy was wishing for, and a piece of her heart broke. She moved past the moment, kissing her son's head. There was no talk of Claire, word traveled fast through the group, and Sayid made everyone aware she was with her mother in Australia. No one knew of her plans, and as far as Kate was concerned, that was fine. She would continue raising Aaron as if the period with Claire hadn't happened. He was sleeping well now, and hadn't mentioned her name since she had left. And Kate was thankful. It had been hard enough on him without Jack.

After cake was distributed amongst the group, Margo caught up with Kate, taking Adam from the tired woman.

"You look exhausted, sweetie. Go sit down." She encouraged the younger woman, who though she was tired, was enjoying the party and her son's happiness. She shook her head.

"I love watching him play. He's so normal." She marveled as the little kids played tag in the setting sunlight in her back yard. Margo watched them for a moment, before giving Kate a most sincere smile.

"I'm so proud of you." Margo spoke with such conviction it gave Kate chills. Kate's brow furrowed.

"Why?" She replied, unsure. Margo's gaze never faltered.

"You pulled this party off, your pulling this pregnancy off, and you, above all, are so normal it scares me sometimes, with all you've been through." She kissed Kate's forehead. "You should be proud of yourself."

"Thank you, Margo," the choked up woman replied as she took in her mother in law before her, the strongest woman she knew, who she aspired to be like. Reaching for her glass of water off the table beside her, she took a sip, willing herself not to fall apart.

"You're welcome sweetie." They watched the kids play for a few more minutes before Aaron disappeared inside, telling Charlie he was going to get one of his new toys. Kate watched him go, and then sighed at the abundance of barking that coursed through her house. Looking toward the backdoor from her place in the grass, she sighed as Sawyer laughed from his spot a few yards away.

"You've really got your hands full with that one, don't ya, Freckles?" He and Juliet laughed as Kate made a face, kiddingly, at her friends.

"I suppose I should go make sure he's not eating someone," Kate laughed, making her way up the porch stairs.

"He's only lick them to death," Margo chided, laughing at the lovingness of the dog they had grown to adore. As Kate reached the back door she heard Aaron scream, and her heart sped up immediately, fearing the child had hurt himself in some way. Rushing into the house, she knew Sun and Jin, who were closest to the back door, sipping their wine, were not far behind.

"Aaron?" Kate called out to the empty house, all the other party patrons playing in the dusk outside. Brody was no longer barking, and Kate worried further, calling again, more frantically. "Aaron? Where are you?" She rounded the corner to the foyer as quickly as her wedge heels and her pregnant state would let her and felt all the air from her lungs rush out as she came to a rough halt. The only thing she would hear was the sound of her water glass crashing at her feet, breaking into a million little pieces as her heart once had, her hand moving to her mouth in an immediate, subconscious reaction. Her eyes were wide, and she wouldn't take them off the scene before her, nor would any reaction other than complete and utter shock come from her. Her heart felt as though is had ceased beating.

_I don't have anything to say, other than….REVIEW and you'll get another chapter :D :D :D_


	60. Chapter 57

Chapter 57

_"Tell the boys I love them okay?" Jack couldn't meet her eyes, out of guilt and the pain that would course through him knowing what he was about to do to her. He felt bad, having not told her a word of his plan, but knew if he had, she wouldn't leave. _

_"You'll tell them yourself when you see them. What are you even talking about?" Her eyes were wide with distress as she stared back at him. His heart was pained, the words quiet and sincere, and he begged to a higher power she would understand. _

_"Kate, this can't keep happening. People can't keep crashing here, dying here. We have to stop this." His voice was strained, he felt like each word took an immense strength to get out, but he had to explain himself simply, and clearly, because he knew if she knew what he was really going to do, she wouldn't approve. "In Faraday's journal, I read something about a wheel, in one of the Dharma stations, the Orchid. If pushed one way, the wheel can move the island. There's an exit point in Tunisia. I'll meet you there." He rushed his explanation as for her to not catch on, and because there wasn't much time. He needed to get her on that plane, and home safely to their babies. He promised her he would. _

_"Wait, I don't understand, Africa? What's in Africa? A wheel, what are you—" Her eyes were wide with panic, and he knew she was catching on. "Jack, wait, you're not staying here, you're coming home with me!" She moved closer and grasped his hand, and he had a fleeting thought of changing his mind. Maybe he should go home with her…but he couldn't. Not after all he had planned, what he knew he had to do to save him friends, and his love. _

_"You need to get Claire on that plane, Kate." His words were soft and direct, ignoring her plea, urging her with his eyes to understand. Hers filled with tears and his heart cracked._

_"No, I'm not leaving without you." Jack knew she was serious, and knew he had to push her, knowing that there was a chance he wouldn't make it, that their children would end up alone. He could see her stubbornness poking through her tears. _

_"Kate, you have to. She needs Aaron." He moved closer to her, resting his hands on her shoulders as he had done so many times before when trying to calm her and reassure her. She collapsed into him and he bit his lip, fighting his own tears. _

_"No, Jack, I'm not going." He ran a comforting hand over her hair, over and over, resting his chin against her forehead, breathing in her familiar scent. His conviction was true, he knew what he was determined to do, but he wouldn't let her stay with him. _

_"Who will take care of Adam then?" His voice was soft as he pulled at her heartstrings, but he knew he had to get her on that plane._

_"You will when you get home. With me. Don't do this, Jack, just leave the island be." Her eyes were wide with panic as she shook her head vehemently, and he felt her pulling at his own heartstrings. _

_"I have to, Kate." He brushed a loose curl from her face. "Tell them I love them, okay?" He needed her to say yes, needed to know they would always know he cared._

_"Jack…" her voice broke as the tears spilled. "Please…Promise me I'm gonna see you again." She held her breath as she waited for his answer but it never came. He felt apologetic, was apologetic, and knew the sadness he felt showed through his brown eyes, showing her how deeply affected he was by what he was doing. _

_"Don't make me make a promise I can't keep, Kate." His voice was shaky as he watched her._

_She pulled his head down with her hand and took in his lips in one of the deepest kisses they had ever shared, as she poured her heart and soul into him, and he into her, his arms wrapped tightly around her petite waist. When she pulled back, she tried one more time, though it would prove futile, to ask him to come. "Jack, please, come with me." Her sobs broke his heart, but he knew what he had to do._

_"Kate, we have to go," Sawyer interrupted, calling as he got near. He reached them before Jack could answer Kate, and he thanked Sawyer silently for his timing. Reaching across Kate, he extended his hand to Jack. "Thanks Doc, for everything." Jack nodded, appearing stoic, as he shook the other man's hand._

_"Thank you, James." Sawyer nodded, stepping off as Kate moved back in to Jack, resting her hand by the wound on his side._

_"I love you," she cried, knowing she had to go if this was what was going to happen. Against his own will, he embraced her again, fiercely._

_"I love you," was his honest, heartfelt admission. When he released her, he stepped back, running his finger along her jaw line and tapping her chin before he turned away from her. He memorized every spot of her face, knowing thinking of her would keep him strong and unafraid. He began down the beach, in the opposite direction of the rest of the group. He couldn't bring himself to look back at her, knowing she was beyond comfort at this point. But he was determined to save any soul from dealing with this God-forsaken island ever again, and that required him to do something that would risk his own life. _

_The trek to the Orchid was a pensive one, as he hurried, always checking over head for conformation of the plan making its way off the island. As he moved through the bamboo shoots, a spot similar to where he had first awoken on the island years ago, he heard the joyful roar of the large jet as it climbed altitude over his head. Glancing up, pausing for a moment, he let out a sigh of relief, knowing against all, Sawyer had gotten Kate on the plane. Praying for a small moment, and thanking a higher power for strength, a tear slid down his cheek as he mourned what might happen to his family if his plan didn't execute as he hoped. He didn't know, realistically, scientifically, how he would end up in Africa, but he also didn't know how they'd ended up back here in the first place. Hoping against hope he would get there though, and knowing he had gotten her home to his family, he moved on, making his way to the Dharma station that held his unsure future, and the destructive device of the island._

_It was cold as Jack climbed into the deep hole and he wished, sheepishly, for a jacket. Kicking a thick shield of ice, he slid the rest of the way down the old, broken ladder, landing in a dark, cold cave. Rubbing his hands together for warmth, he pulled out the flashlight he had packed, and Faraday's journal, re-reading the passage he'd read at least fifty times at this point, checking and rechecking his process. According to the book, if Jack pushed the wheel counter-clockwise, he would be able to sink the island, if it worked accordingly. Pushing through the cold that serrated his skin like a knife, Jack moved toward the wheel with the flashlight, inspecting the giant, wooden, eight-spoke object. Upon touching it, he became aware it was covered in ice, as was the floor, and determined he had to be as powerful and move the wheel as quickly as possible. Setting the flashlight back in his pack, he reached into the front zipped pocket and retrieved a picture, the picture from after Adam's birth, as Kate held the tiny infant and Aaron sat loyally beside his mother, both smiling for his mother's camera while the baby slept. He looked at it for a moment, adding it to the memory of her face. _

_Taking a deep breath, he slid the picture into the pocket of his blue jeans, and turned his attention back to the wheel awaiting his push. Stepping to it, he pushed it gingerly, determining exactly how hard he would have to push it. When it didn't budge, he realized it would take every bit of strength he had to push the wooden wheel. _

_Saying a silent prayer again, he leaned into the wheel, his feet sliding on the icy floor, and groaned in exertion as he pushed the wheel with all his might. _

_It moved a small amount before he slipped, banging his outer left eye roughly on the solid wood. Wincing, and cursing in pain, he waited for the stars to subside, before trying again, angrily this time. He pushed with all the agony the island had caused him, the pain and suffering, the deaths of his friends, and the constant state of fear the island had forced upon all their lives. Practically growling in his push of the wheel, it freed itself inch by inch, turning as Faraday had said it would. Jack's eyes widened in accomplishment as the wheel became looser and he pushed faster as each spoke became lost in the frozen rock. Jack was welcomed with __a loud humming and bright light surged outwards across the small, cold room and Jack was bathed in a warm, white light. The ground beneath his feet began to shake and before he could move away from the wobbling wheel, the light became brighter than he could stand to see, closing his eyes as the hot light embraced him. Then his world went dark. _

* * *

_Snow was whizzing by the windows of the protective shelter, as a blizzard ravaged the isolated area of western Antarctica. Machines whirr and beep as buttons are pressed and data is entered into a complex scientific computer. _

_An older man mumbles to himself, scratching his beard as he recalculates his figures, before erasing his data and re-entering his new findings. When he is satisfied, he slides across the cold cement floor to a different computer, entering another code, being met with a loud series of beeps. He runs his hand through his straggly beard and starts again, repeating a process he has repeated more times than he would ever admit. _

_His concentration is interrupted when a much louder alarm sounds through the secure building, startling the old man from his spot, causing him to fly wildly to a different computer, this one a security system, scans of camera shots covering the screen. Searching for the offender, he covers his mouth with one hand, mumbling a few curse words, before moving to grab his jacket quickly, releasing a security door, followed by another large cement door, and finally falling out into the windy, wild abyss of snow covering the barren frontier. _

_As he treks through the heavy precipitation, he can see a figure lying in the snow, moving very little, but enough to vomit and cough, clearly in an ill manner. The old man reaches the disheveled figure, a man, in his late thirties, maybe early forties but cannot make out much of his face due to a large beard and the snow and ice covering the figure. The man picks up the sick individual and drags him the fifty yards back to his shelter, flinging open the doors and heaving the dead weight of a man inside. _

_Once his shelter is locked and secure, he moves around to grab blankets, hot water, and drinking water, the bottles adorned with a familiar symbol. Covering the bearded man, he begins warming him, using practiced medical knowledge learned just for this single purpose. The old man is methodical but shaking, as he hasn't ever encountered this situation before, and hasn't seen another human being, in quite sometime. Injecting the man with IV fluids as if he were a practiced attending, the man's color changes quickly, as his frozen skin starts to come back to life in the extreme warmth of the cement housing. With the ice melted, and his skin a more normal tone, the old man is stricken with shock and amazement, shaking the individual rapidly, more out of pure surprise than anything else. _

"_Jack!" He cries, his hands latched to his frozen shoulders. His face is almost unrecognizable due to the hard beard of hair he is carrying and his eyes are practically sealed shut with ice. The warm water does the trick and the dark hazel eyes begin to open, flashing around wildly. He fought the IV subconsciously, having to eventually be subdued until his brain could further process his surroundings. Staring up at the old man before him, fear etched across his gray, chapped skin. "Jack, easy, it's me, Daniel!"_

"_Daniel? Who…where…am I?" Jack fought to get the words out and immediately decided he had never been this cold in his entire life. He could feel the IV liquid warming his insides, but his lips were still very cold, and his eyes felt very dry and painful. Searching the face before him he saw some semblance of something he once recognized. The man smiled a little, reaching for another blanket. _

"_Daniel Faraday, Jack. You're in Antarctica at a Dharma research station." Injecting another fluid into Jack's IV, he settled on the step beside where he had laid Jack, and assessed his phyical health. "We'll have plenty of time to chat, Jack, but right now I need you to rest. Your body is near shutting down and I need you to save your strength. You're going to be fine, now," he stressed the word and a knowing glint in his eye caught Jack, "But, after all you've been through, you need to rest." His voice was soft, as Jack remembered it to be, and was having trouble comprehending how old Faraday was. His eyelids grew heavy before he could think further and he felt himself sliding off the ledge into a deep, incubated sleep. _

"_Am I dead?" he whispered, allowing Daniel a chuckle. _

"_No, fortunately you're not. We'll talk later." Jack drifted off to sleep and Daniel returned to his research, checking on the sleeping man intermittently, hoping he would indeed live through the night. _

_When Jack awoke two days later, he felt groggy and sore. He struggled to take in his surroundings, somewhat remembering a foggy conversation with an old man who referred to himself as Daniel Faraday and the freezing cold of snow. Blinking rapidly, he struggled to sit. Groaning, he disturbed a reading Faraday, who immediately moved to sit beside him, taking in his vitals and assessing the newly awakened man's state. _

"_Where…where am I?" Jack stuttered and Faraday grinned a little, catching Jack off guard._

"_You're in Antarctica at my research facility." He reassured Jack. Jack searched his surroundings, unsure. _

"_How..how did I get here?" _

"_I brought you in a couple of days ago from the blizzard. You don't remember?" _

"_Vaguely. I don't know how I got to Antarctica though." Jack reached to rub his sore head and was surprised by the mass of hair that covered his face. _

"_You turned the wheel didn't you?" Daniel asked excitedly, looking for confirmation. Jack's eyes were hazy before he dug out the memory from the cob webs and nodded._

"_I guess so. Yeah, I seem to remember that, but I was supposed to end up somewhere else…in Africa, I think…I'm not sure, everything is really foggy." Daniel grabbed his notebook and jotted some notes down before looking back at Jack, concentrating. _

"_The reason you ended up here and not there is because you turned the wheel in the opposite direction. You sank the island, right?"_

"_I'm not sure. I remember a bright light, and shaking, but that's all…" Jack attempted to stand and immediately recognized his dirty blue tee shirt and jeans from the ones he had been wearing, as they lie next to him. He then realized he was naked under the blankets. Daniel waved off his shock, explaining about wet clothes and hypothermia but Jack knew. He was a doctor after all. _

"_Well, you sank it, anyway, and I've been waiting for you to show up for nearly 6 months." Daniel's eyes were once again excited as he moved to record data on one of the dozen computers lining the laboratory. _

"_How'd you know it'd be me?"_

"_Well, I didn't know it would be you, per say, but I knew it would be someone who made that damn island sink. I have to say, I'm shocked you did it." _

"_I had to. It needed to happen." _

"_Agreed. However, we weren't even sure it worked like that."_

"_But your journal said," Jack began, incredulously, his eyes wide. Daniel waved him off again, shaking his head. _

"_I know what I wrote. But I had never tried it. Theoretically and scientifically I figured that's what would happen." Jack was astounded by the equations and problems surrounding the small area and was overwhelmed. _

"_Well, at least it did." Daniel tossed Jack a pair of sweatpants and Jack pulled them on, thankful for the warm feeling that came over his lower regions once they were covered. He stood awkwardly, slowly, moving to a nearby sink and mirror, shocked again by the thick beard that covered his face, and the shaggy hair on his head. "Did you say six months?" He asked, now feeling a slight panic course through his veins as he stared at his reflection. _

"_Yeah, give or take. Usually it takes 3 to 4 weeks to end up in Africa, but I guess when you sink the island, something different happens. I didn't predict that," the man laughed to himself a little, typing more data into his various computers._

"_Whoa, stop for a minute." Jack demanded, facing his old friend, who stopped abruptly to face him. "You mean to tell me I've been somewhere in space and time for almost 6 months?" Jack felt enraged, and worried, and immediately his mind flashed to Kate. "Does any one know I'm alive?" _

"_Well, no, I wasn't even sure you'd made it after the island sank. I kept waiting for someone to show and it never happened…." _

"_What's today's date?" He demanded, again taking in his thinner frame, his lack of fat and muscle tone giving him a very lean shape. He likened himself to a cave man, and began searching for a razor. _

"_October 29__th__, 2008." Daniel replied and Jack stopped his searching to catch the man's eyes in the mirror. Aaron's birthday was in two days. He'd be turning four. Without him. He swung to face Daniel._

"_I need to get home. Now. And I need a razor." Daniel wordlessly found Jack a razor and Jack likened him to a child who had lost his favorite toy. _

"_But I need to study this, and you…" _

"_You can ask me anything you want, but only on the way. I need to get home to my family." Soaping up his hairy chin, he began to shave away the rough hair and felt liberated with each stroke, answering Daniel's questions fervently before Daniel made a call to a good friend with a solid helicopter background, who agreed to fly up and get Jack. _

_Hours later, when Faraday had gone to bed, Jack lie up, staring at the picture he had aken with him, found worn in his jeans from his travel, and the phone, on the wall. He had tried to call and gotten their answering machine. He couldn't bring himself to call Kate's cell. He didn't leave a message. He had disappeared, from space and time, and her life. His heart felt torn and broken as he felt sorry for himself. He had done the right thing, but he hadn't come back to her like he'd said he would. And six months…so much could happen in that amount of time. Would she forgive him? Could she forgive him? He worried and knew he wouldn't sleep, not until he was home, with her, in their bed. He felt restless, pacing the cement research area, his mind unable to wrap itself around the things Faraday worked on. He felt like a caged lab rat, and needed to leave as soon as he could. Faraday promised his friend would arrive the next day, early, and they would begin the journey home. He just hoped he'd make it in time for Aaron's birthday, and for his marriage. _

"_Faraday, I swear, if you could be any farther away from civilization…" The door swung open to reveal a bearded man, in all his grumpy glory, as he shivered and rubbed his arms trying to keep warm. When his eyes met the man's standing next to Faraday, however, no amount of warmth could keep the chills from speeding up his spine. His mouth was open a bit in shock and Jack felt the first sense of relief he had felt in the hours he'd been trapped as Daniel's lab experiement. _

"_Frank, I presume you remember Jack," Faraday chuckled as he noted information about Jack and his current state in his journals. Frank's eyes were wide as he crossed the floor to his younger friend. _

"_Your mother is going to freak when she sees you." Was the first words out of Frank's mouth, shock still written across his face. Jack furrowed his brow, confused. _

"_My mother..?"He began but Frank shook his head, waving off the question. _

"_Ahh, we'll talk later. We need to gather your things and get out of here. Faraday, you're sure you want to come? Getting you back here is going to be a bitch." Frank told the older man honestly, watching him gather up his supplies. Faraday nodded. _

"_I'm sure. I still need to monitor Jack, and I'd like to go along for the ride. I haven't left this place in over ten years." He seemed slightly excited at the prospect and Jack raised an eyebrow. _

"_Ten years? What about all your data and your computers?"_

"_They'll be fine until I get back. Besides, with the Island sunk, that eliminates half my work." The man chuckled, and Jack shook his head, still unsure. _

"_I don't think I understand what it is you're doing here." Jack shook his head again, moving to the sink to splash his face with water. He took in his appearance as the water ran down his face and he felt aged, like he'd lost five years. At 38, he felt as though he was 45 at this moment. He hoped it was more of the anxiety and the stress of whatever his journey had taken on his body, and hoped, once he arrived home, he could rest and recouperate. He didn't know how he'd explain to Kate, or anyone for that matter, where he had been, but hoped they could move on from it. _

_Sliding a heavy jacket over his shoulders, he moved toward Frank, who was waiting on Faraday to finish packing. _

"_You got Kate home, right?" Jack asked the man quietly, needing the answer to fully allow himself to begin hoping for his life back. Frank offered a small smile accompanied by a nod. _

"_She's home. I have seen her a few times since…." He drifted off and Jack's eyes widened, immediately worried. _

"_Since what?" _

"_Since she left you on that island. When you didn't show in Tunisia, we all assumed you haven't made it." Frank's eyes were solemn as he was truthful with Jack about how they had coped with him being gone._

"_Hadn't made it? Like they assumed I died?" Jack felt a lump grow in his throat, and felt ashamed. _

"_Basically. There was no proof, and no body, but there's a memorial stone next to your father's with your name on it." The news seemed to hit Jack hard, as he reeled. He was silent, taking in the information. "Kate was in pieces about it for a long time. She seems to be coping pretty well now, though, at least that's what your mother says anyway." Jack's heart felt heavy, but he didn't miss the second reference to his mother. _

"_You talk to my mother?" Jack asked, puzzled, trying to make all the pieces fit in his foggy brain. "How are my boys?" Jack asked, hoping if Frank talked to his mother, he would know that bit of information as well. _

"_They're good. Adam's relatively too young to know you haven't been around, but Aaron gave Kate a real hard time for a while. And now with Claire gone, it's just been hell. I think things might have been looking up, though—" _

"_With Claire gone? I don't….what are you…" Jack was stunned by the information the man carried, and felt overwhelmed. Frank shook his head, apologizing. _

"_I think I've said too much, Jack. Let's just get you home and you can talk to them about everything."_

"_Frank," Jack grabbed the man's arm before he could turn away, clearly feeling sheepish for giving the newly alive man before him as much information as he had, "do they know you came here to get me? Do they know I'm alive?" Frank waited a beat before shaking his head. _

"_No, Jack. I didn't even know I was coming to get you." He explained, somber, and Jack felt his heart grow heavier. "Let's just get you home, Jack. The rest will fall into place."_

* * *

When their taxi pulled up a few houses down from his own, his heart raced unlike anything he had ever felt before. In the jeans and shirt he had been wearing the last time he saw her, though now clean thanks to Faraday's washing machine in his research facility, the leather bomber jacket he had borrowed from Lapidus forgotten, he climbed from the car, slowly followed by Frank and Faraday, as he made his way past the line of cars on the street. It was Aaron's birthday party, no question in Jack's mind, as he walked toward the open front door. He could hear kids playing, music, and laughter, and a small smile slid across his handsome face. It was getting darker out, and he could feel the fatigue in his muscles from not having slept since being found by Faraday, but too many thoughts filled his mind. The fear he felt was unreal, scowering his insides, and making his breathing slightly shallow. At the entrance to the walkway, he paced a moment, before making his way up the front yard, a memory from many moons ago filling his mind of all the times he's walk this very path after his long days at work, a warm dinner and a welcoming kiss awaiting him in the large house.

The house itself was quiet as he stepped over the threshold, taking in the unchanged surroundings. The house was lit with warm, dull light and an array of stuffed jungle creatures were spread about the vicinity, large plastic leaves hanging from every which angle, causing a warm, happy smile from Jack. He took in his house, their house, and felt a sudden relief wash over him. He was home.

A bark caught him off guard, and then another bark took his attention to the kitchen, where the large German Shepherd he remembered as a small puppy stood, long tail wagging, as if waiting for confirmation it was okay. Jack patted his jeaned thigh, motioning to the dog to come to him, and it bounded across the floor, barking excitedly before Jack kneeled and allowed the creature to wet his face with welcome licks. Jack didn't even see the small, blonde-hair boy that had followed the barks into the foyer, before a scream was let go from the tiny body. Jack looked up, shaken, and was taken aback by the young boy bolting toward him. Jack pushed the dog out of the way gently, leaving enough room to embrace the boy, who's excitement could not be contained, much like the dog's.

"I wished for you to come back!" cried Aaron, who's gleeful smile and violent hugs caused Jack himself to tear up. "I blew out my candles and wished for you, Daddy!" The boy sounded so proud, Jack hugged him to his chest as tight as he could, taken aback by the child's love for him, and his confession. He didn't trust his voice, only held the little boy, feeling more than thankful for having given the child the gift of his presence. A few tears fell against the little boy's shirt and he could feel Aaron's own tears on his neck, where his little head was snuggled as he joyfully cried.

It was only another moment before the main object of his affection appeared from around the corner, shattering something glass at her feet, causing him to peer up, catching her eyes, wide and full of shock.

Kate couldn't speak, couldn't move as she watched the scene before her, her lost husband hugging her son, who was crying, as Brody lay beside the two, panting happily. She could hear Sun suck in her breath in surprised, and hear Jin speak something under his breath in Korean. She had thought about this moment a million times, secretly, when she was alone, but had never allowed herself to believe it was actually possible. And now, with him before her, in flesh and blood, she couldn't help but feel as though she was seeing a ghost.

He looked older, tired, but still as handsome as ever. He stilled her heart when she caught his eyes, and she could immediately feel the lump that formed as tears burned her eyes, as they were the same eyes of the man she had fallen in love with, the man she had married, the man who's child she was carrying. She hadn't even noticed Aaron had left Jack and was pulling on her hand, his huge, happy smile making her heart swell. It was then she realized there was broken glass around her and she picked him up immediately.

"Mommy! Mommy, Daddy's back! My wish came true!" The little boy cried, as he pointed to a now standing Jack, who was taking in the pair in front of him.

"I see him, baby." She whispered. Kate stepped out of glass and toward Jack, who took a step toward them, their eyes still locked. He hadn't taken in her tight dress and baby bump until he noticed the awkward way she held the four year old. His eyes widened slightly, and he took the little boy from her out of habit more than anything, as he had many times when she'd been pregnant with Adam.

"Hey," he whispered, as she watched the way Aaron snuggled into his father's chest as if he had never left.

"Hi," was her return whisper. "What are you doing here? How did you..when did you…?" She couldn't seem to finish, to get the words out, and he shook his head with a small shrug, a chuckle following.

"It's a long story," he replied, stepping closer to her, relishing in the familiar perfume she wore. Her hair lay tousled and curly as he had remembered it from the last day he saw her, her eyes still that perfect green. A sob escaped her lips and she shook her head.

"I'm so mad at you," the phrase came out as more of a sob than anything, and she shook her head, a smile forming on her pink lips. He let out a small laugh, his own tears spilling over.

"I'm so sorry, Kate." He replied earnestly, his face turning serious for a moment, as he searched her eyes for forgiveness. She took another step, her hands cupping his cheeks, his face feeling just the way she remembered it to against her soft fingers.

"I've missed you _so_ much," was her reply, as she poured everything she still felt, had felt, into those words, her heart and soul overcome as the man she thought she would never see again, the man she had proverbially buried, stood close enough for her to touch, real enough for her to feel. He shuddered under her touch, melting into her, the jolt of their connection ratified.

"I've missed you," he replied, before immediately sealing his lips over hers in a motion he had wanted to do since he'd realized he had lived. She gasped into his lips, and the kiss only last a moment as a sob from her lips interrupted it. She dropped her head, embarrassed and overcome, unable to keep her emotions at bay. He rested his forehead against hers, her heels making them only inches apart, and he tried to keep his own tears from overwhelming him. "I'm so, so sorry, Kate." He whispered again, against her hair as he pulled her to him, again made aware of the large mound that kept them from embracing properly. He leaned back after a moment, looking down at her, and then her protrusion. She laughed a little wiping her tears.

"You left me with a parting gift," her laugh sounded more like a sob, but the smile was unmistakeable through her tears. His face was a large mixture of pure joy, shock, and surprise as he looked from her face, to her belly, and back, and she allowed another sob to escape her throat.

"I'm getting a baby sister!" Aaron spoke from his place against Jack's shoulder, causing a rouse of laughter from the group, along with Jack and Kate.

"It's a girl?" Jack asked, incredulously. Kate nodded, full on crying now, grabbing his hand and placing it on her belly. His tears flowed fully down his cheeks, now. He was overcome with emotions of sorrow for leaving her alone all this time, and joy for what he had left behind, and would now get to witness.

"I'm almost 25 weeks." She replied, before a voice cleared it's throat from behind her. They looked up to find his mother, also crying, standing a little behind Kate, holding a smiling, happy baby Adam, surrounded by the friends they had rescued.

With a small glance to Kate, Jack carried Aaron to his mother, kissing her cheek, and that of his infant son, more tears escaping. Kate moved to take Adam from Margo so she could fully embrace her son, and held Adam closely to her, rocking him, in as much need of comfort, to understand what she was witnessing as their friends embraced the man they had all presumed lost.

"Jack, you are never, ever flying anywhere, again. Is that understood?" Margo's own tears hitched her words and Jack laughed against her, nodding.

"Hi, Mom. I understand perfectly, don't you worry."

Kate smiled as she watched their friends, all also moved by the scene, embrace Jack, and welcome him home. Juliet shared a small moment with him, offering him an emotional thank you, as he touched her larger belly gently, smiling at James, their friendship deeper than most would presume. When he had greeted everyone, he turned back to Kate, who openly cried against her baby's head. Margo took Aaron, who reluctantly released his father, and Jack embraced Adam tightly, the baby cooing as he settled into the man's broad chest. Aaron begged release from Margo, quickly moving to embrace Jack's long leg. Kate's heart was warmed by the love her children had for their father.

"I'm not so sure about this jungle theme," came a gravely voice as Frank and Faraday made their way from the door to join the group. Frank was well-received, and to Jack's confusion, noted the way Frank met his mother's eyes with a smile. Silently noting to ask about it later, he made Faraday's presence known, thanking him publicly for finding him and saving his life. Kate grabbed Jack's free hand and held it, still shaky and unsure, feeling though any moment she would wake up from the dream, living on with the devastation their reunion wasn't true. He squeezed her hand, kissing her forehead.

After a beat passed, and everyone began to dissipate back into the house, Kate let go of Jack's hand, wiping her tears violently, moving to the hall closet for the broom.

"I need to sweep up the glass," she spoke to no one in particular, still overwhelmed. Jack smiled at her as she fumbled through the closet, still holding their babies, Adam settled against him, Aaron holding onto this jeans for dear life. As much as he wanted to help her, he couldn't bare the thought of putting the children down. Until, at least, she awkwardly tried to sweep the glass into the dust pan, he then moved to help her, sympathetic, handing her Adam, and encouraging Aaron to release him for a quick moment. She grinned her thank you and he finished cleaning it up, before lifting Aaron again to his waist. They stood for a moment, taking the other in, before she spoke, her voice unsteady.

"Do you want something to drink? Water or coffee?" She furrowed her brow at her own question and he laughed sweetly, moving forward to catch her lips quickly.

"Some water would be great," he replied to ease her embarrassment. She nodded, thankful for something to do, and moved off.

The party lasted another hour before the group began to disperse. Everyone seemed to take in the gravity of the situation, Kate's sudden emotional state, Jack's new-found presence, and Aaron's complete and utter ignorance of his toys and his friends. They understood, and were glad for it as they all said their goodbyes, welcoming him home again. He had explained a brief version of his journey, with the help of Daniel, but didn't have much to offer, as he was unsure himself of what exactly had happened. They all agreed they'd get together soon enough, as there was much more to talk about and wait for, like the birth of the new round of babies, starting with Juliet's, and Jack's fast coming 39th birthday, coincidentally the same day. Sharing a laugh, they wished their last leaving visitor's goodbye, as Kate shut the door. Faraday had agreed to a hotel, saying he had some business to attend to before he went back to his station. He and Jack agreed to see each other before he left.

Kate entered the living room after settling a sleeping Adam in his room upstairs, to find Frank and Margo having a quiet conversation on her back porch. Smiling to herself, she moved to swing around, bumping into a close standing Jack, who steadied her with a grin. Sheepishly she smiled back, apologizing.

"Sorry," her pink cheeks made him smile and he grinned down at her, before looking back up at the scene on the back deck.

"Care to explain that situation to me? It seems as though I've missed a few things since I've been gone." He meant the statement as comical, and she did smile in return, but for some reason, the smile didn't necessarily meet her eyes.

"Your mom and Frank forged a friendship after we returned because she was the one who convinced him to go looking for us. They don't see each other often, since he is a busy pilot, but they spend time together here and there." Kate offered, moving back into the kitchen. Jack was slightly surprised by her body during this pregnancy, as she was much fitter than when pregnant with Adam, and more petite throughout.

"Are they dating?" He asked, leaning against the counter on his forearms as she poured herself a glass of iced tea. She smirked.

"Maybe you should settle in before you ask such serious questions," she remarked, sipping her drink. He shrugged.

"Touche." Was his reply as he moved toward her. He embraced her, resting his head on hers, her now barefoot state allowing him the height difference. He watched Aaron, sleeping soundly on the arm chair where Jack had been sitting with him, and felt a love radiate from him he hadn't known to exist.

"I love you," he whispered into her hair, rubbing her back tenderly, unable to let go of her. She sniffled against him.

"I'm so glad you're here." She knew there was so much to talk about, so much to say, but she was unable, because in these moments, now, he was there, and that, for the anger, depression, self-deprecation, denial, and acceptance she had been through, this was what she had wanted through it all, this was what she had needed. Snuggling deeper into him, she counted to the sacred number that had helped her through so much, closed her eyes, succumbing to his warmth and embrace.

* * *

_Reviews are love...hope you're all happy with this chapter. I told you the wait would be worth it, didn't I? I hope it was :D_

_Guess what? You can expect a Jate chapter next. *cheers*_

_Thank you to everyone who reviewed or even just read chapter 56. I think that was the most reviews I have EVER recieved and I am blown away. Thank you for reading this story and for enjoying it along with me. I am overwhelmed by all of you out there who read and support this. Thank you so much for taking the time to leave a note and for letting me know your thoughts. It is very appreciated, probably more than you know. _

_Again, thank you to Stef23.51 for the help with this story, and again, this chapter in particular. I don't know if I could have written it if it weren't for you and your knowledge. Thank you so, so much! :) I dedicate this chapter to you. Hopefully I did it justice ;)_


	61. Chapter 58

Chapter 58

_Your reviews were amazing! Thank you so, so much :) I really hope you all enjoyed Jack's return. Now I wonder what will happen… ;) hehe_

_This chapter was a little awkward to write, forgive me if it seems that way. It's been a bit since I've written dear Jack :-P_

* * *

Kate shuffled around the room restlessly, waiting for Jack to emerge from his half hour shower. The children were in bed asleep, Margo and Frank had left an hour or so ago, and after settling Aaron in bed, Jack had excused himself for a shower, leaving Kate to wander helplessly around the house, trying to enjoy a cup of tea, wondering what on earth had happened that day.

Her husband had re-emerged from his suspected death. She was no longer alone in her large, quiet house. He was back, for good.

Pulling on one of his shirts and a pair of his boxers, things she had claimed as her own since he had been gone, she turned down the lights and settled in bed. Brody cried quietly from the hallway where she had shut him out, knowing she now had to teach the dog that he needed to sleep on the floor because his normal spot was now going to be taken back by the man who had owned it before.

She still couldn't believe he was back, and as she sat on her side of the bed, for the first time in months, she no longer felt alone. Part of her couldn't wait to be joined by the man in the shower, the man she had craved for so long, but part of her was nervous about it. She couldn't put her finger on why…maybe because they had so much left to say, and maybe because she didn't want to know where he had been. He was sorry, he had repeated it over and over, and she was sure he meant it, but she was still unsure.

As Jack stood in his clean, roomy shower, he allowed the water to rush over his tight muscles, and felt as though he would never be clean enough. He couldn't get his mind off the beautiful woman he knew was waiting for him, or the guilt that carried on in his heart about all the things he had missed. He knew it was his first night back, and carrying that baggage to bed was of no use to anyone, the sight of her and her large belly had stunned him to a reality, one of joy and yet sadness. He wasn't there when she found out, this time or last time. He wasn't there for the first sonogram, this time or last time. What kind of father or husband was he?

Mentally beating himself up, he emerged from the shower, drying himself half off with a towel, the need to be near Kate tearing at him. Coming out of the bathroom in their master bedroom, he spied her lying in their bed, on her side, in one of his old Columbia t- shirts. He smiled at her and tried to brush off his uncertainty. She grinned back, shyly, and he found her adorable in his college shirt with her round stomach protruding from the material. It looked better on her than it had ever looked on him, in his opinion.

If this had been their normal life together and he hadn't been gone for six months, he would have climbed right into their bed naked, snuggling up next to her, but as unsure as he was of how to go about their situation, he slipped into the closet, pulling on boxers and another old tee shirt, which made him grin when he smelled her shampoo on the fabric. Exiting the closet, he chuckled at the crying dog outside of their room.

"Somebody's sad." He remarked with a lopsided grin and she laughed a little with a shrug.

"I may have taught him one or two bad habits while you were gone," she took the blame, watching as her handsome husband, whose face still carried everything she loved about the man who'd been gone, pulled down the comforter on his side of the bed, and slid underneath, turning his light out on his nightstand. He relished in the feeling of the comfortable bed, closing his eyes with content.

"Oh yeah? Like what?"

"Well, until I changed the sheets just now, there was evidence of a hairy animal who made your side of the bed his own. And there's probably some of that on the couch as well." She giggled and he felt whole at the sound, turning his head to take her in, grinning.

"At least you weren't alone at night." The remark was supposed to come out with a laugh, but instead it brought Kate's eyes to her hands, her smile disappearing. She nodded, despite herself.

"Yeah, I guess I wasn't," was her quiet response as she stared at her pale pink colored fingernails. He watched her, unsure of how he should respond. Instead of walking on eggshells, he tentatively reached out to her, wrapping his arm around her shoulders. He felt weak as he pulled her to him, his body changed by the time he'd spent in some other place. She molded to him though, to his relief, as if she had been waiting for him to make the move. She melted into his side, her belly resting against his hip, and he wrapped his other arm around her tightly, kissing her forehead. He could feel her shudder a sigh.

"You okay?" he whispered, his heart heavy. She nodded against where her head lay on his chest.

"Yeah," it was quiet and not convincing but he figured she'd speak when she was ready. He kissed her hair, resting his head on hers.

"I'm so sorry, Kate. I know I keep saying it, but I never intended for this to happen. I really thought I would meet you in Tunisia." He spoke quietly, knowing they were both adjusting to the arrangement, him being back in a normal bed, still slightly unsure of where he'd been, her having lived on without him for so many months, thinking he was never coming home.

"Some days I just kept waiting for you to walk through the front door, coming home from work for dinner." She admitted, taking in his clean, fresh scent. She hadn't been able to dispose of anything that belonged to him, so though his razor was rusted over, his shampoo and soap still lie in the shower. Now she felt some bigger power had not allowed her to throw his things away, because he'd been coming back all along. Closing her eyes, she breathed him in deeply. He kissed her head again, still rubbing her back, the words forming but dying on his lips. "After I told Aaron, he wished for you every night before bed. I guess death isn't the same for a child as it is for an adult."

"What'd you tell him?" He asked curiously, and felt slightly morbid at the question, knowing it was his own death she was asking about.

"I told him you were with his grandfather, your father. And that you loved him very much. He likened it to Simba losing his father," She smiled at the thought of the little boy. Jack was silent, taking in the moment.

"When did you tell him?"

"A few months ago. Claire was still here. He woke up one night crying about a bad dream, asking me not to let her take him away. He said it was the same dream he had when you had comforted him. He wanted you very badly then, but that wasn't the only time. I finally had to tell him the truth-er, what I thought was the truth." It felt good to be honest, telling Jack about when he wasn't around.

"I remember that dream. Did he figure out it was Claire?" Jack asked, slightly confused. Kate nodded against his soft cotton shirt.

"Yeah, he asked me not to let her take him. It was heartbreaking. I felt awful. And then the next day she left."

"She left? Why?" Jack's brow furrowed, and he grew concerned. He's approached his mother about it, but she didn't reveal anything.

"She heard Aaron crying about not wanting to go with her. I guess she listened outside the door, I'm not really sure. The next day I got home from the store and she had packed everything and left. She had been a huge help for me, watching the kids and stuff, and then when she left…...," She drifted off, not sure how to continue.

"She left even though you were pregnant and alone with Aaron and Adam?" Jack was trying to piece all the information together. And he didn't quite understand how Claire could do that, knowing exactly how it felt to be pregnant and alone.

"Well," Kate paused, knowing she was in for a scolding, but she didn't know why she wouldn't tell him the whole truth, "she didn't know." Jack raised an eyebrow, peering down at her large pregnant belly.

"She didn't know?" he repeated, not understanding. Kate shrugged.

"I didn't tell anyone, no one knew then. I told your mom after that, but I was already fourteen weeks."

"Kate," he drew out her name in the scolding way she expected, but it was soft, almost sympathetic. "Why didn't you tell anyone?"

"Because! I wasn't showing yet and I wasn't ready to accept it. I didn't want it to be true."

"I'm not following, again. Why didn't you want it to be true?" Her thoughts were all over the place and Jack had a hard time understanding her direction. At the same point in time though, it would be completely Kate to ignore a pregnancy because she didn't want it to be true, not to mention lie about it. Of course, not under their normal circumstances, but he could see her doing it under stress. Kate sat up abruptly, and he released his arms, unsure. He could see tears in her eyes from her pain she had endured the last six months.

"Because I didn't want her. I was still mourning you, and trying to raise two babies essentially alone. I had no idea how I was going to do with a third." The tears didn't spill, but he could see them shining at him. It broke his heart.

"But you decided to keep her?" He whispered. Her gaze into his eyes never faltered.

"For all my ignorance over the whole thing, I never once considered an abortion." Her words were honest, he could tell, and he felt a wash of relief that she wouldn't do that. "She's our baby, above all. She was a part of you, and though I was really angry with you at first, after a while I began to see it as a blessing. A part of you that would live on, like Adam." Sitting cross-legged now next to him, she rested her hand on her stomach. "And then when I found out it was a girl—your mom was there by the way—" she grinned at the admission, before continuing, "I was really glad I was having her." She could see the sorrow in his eyes for all he had missed, and though she wished, more than anything, he had been there, she was beginning to realize that she couldn't punish him for something he had had no control over, something he had been trying to do for the good of others, not to hurt her.

"Have you decided on a name?" He asked her quietly, sitting up a little, his back leaning against the headboard. Her hands roaming her expansive belly, a small smile formed on her face, an almost mischievous one. She shook her head.

"No, I haven't picked one yet, but I know the ones I like." She caught his eyes, and he could see her love there, and a subtle sparkle of something. He raised an eyebrow.

"What?" He inquired. She giggled.

"I found the list of names in your coat pocket." She admitted. He could feel his cheeks burning as he felt self-conscious.

"You did?"

"Yep. I slid my hands in the pockets and there it was. I decided I was going to pick from that list." She leaned over to her bedside table, pulling open the drawer and pulling out the folded piece of paper she had added to her nightly reading routines. Opening it, she handed it to him. "I really like Bailey, Rebecca, Ashleigh, and Kailey," Kate added as he read his own list for the first time in almost a year.

"Yeah, I really like them all. I wouldn't be disappointed with any of them that you might pick." He set the paper on the table next to him, and looked back her with a boyish grin. She smiled back and this time, if fully met her eyes. He tentatively reached up and touched her face, sliding his hand down from her forehead to her chin, the back of his fingers soft on her freckled skin. She took in the feeling with her eyes closed, relishing in it. "You're so beautiful, you know this right?" He whispered. When she opened her eyes, tears were shining again in them, but her smile told him she wasn't sad.

"I look like a chubby cat." She provided, causing a laugh from his lips. Shyly she leaned in, knowing he wouldn't make the move himself, and captured his lips with hers. The kiss was light and feathery, and made her heart flutter.

But then she stopped. It wasn't her heart. She felt it again. She pulled back abruptly and he searched her face with concern.

"What? What's wrong?" He asked, worried now, as her hands were again traveling around the mound.

"I think I felt it." She whispered, her voice excited, her smile one of unsureness and surprise. Jack sat up fully now, watching her search for the location of the movement.

"You haven't felt her yet?" He asked, equally as excited now, glad there was at least one thing he hadn't missed out on. She shook her head vehemently.

"My OB assured me she was fine, but I hadn't been able to feel her move or anything." Feeling slightly frantic, wanting to feel her again, she moved back in to him. "Kiss me again." She demanded, pulling his laughing lips to hers by the front of his shirt. Sure enough, to her delight, she felt it move and then a slight kick afterwards. Squealing with joy, she pulled away from him, grasping his hand and placing it on the place where it kicked previously. A large smile spread over his face as he felt it, and she threw her head back and laughed whole-heartedly, feeling more complete than she had in months. Jack took in the movement below his hand and the sweet laughter of his beautiful wife, and thank a higher power for bringing him back where he belonged. When he brought his eyes back up from her stomach to her face, she placed her hand on his, and again leaned in and kissed him, this time deeper and more passionate, each expressing their happiness in the moment and for each other. Jack felt thankful he had been there for that moment.

"Apparently she was just waiting for you," Kate giggled afterward, knowing she had been as well. Jack leaned over and kissed the material-covered mound, before catching her lips in another sweet, little kiss.

"I'm so glad she did," he responded, kissing her forehead.

"Me too," she replied, as he lied back down, her snuggling back into his side. She kicked again, this time where she was positioned against Jack's hip, and they both laughed again. "You know what's going to happen now? She's never going to stop."

Jack kissed the top of Kate's head, a few joyful tears filling his eyes. "I won't complain." Kate melted closer into him, if possible, holding tight to his side, where her arm reached across his chest. He wasn't the broad man she had left behind on the island, like he used to be, but she wasn't complaining either. Just having him beside her, holding her like he used to, feeling their baby kick for the first time, made everything she'd been through, everything he'd missed wash away for the time being.

"I'm so glad you're here," she spoke, the sentiment bringing him back in time. He squeezed her, feeling his eyes droop in exhaustion for the first time since he'd been back, but it was a comfortable feeling.

"Me too."

* * *

Jack awoke, alone, the next morning, the sun shining through the curtains that swayed softly in the breeze. He always enjoyed this time of year in Los Angeles, especially since it neared the holidays he loved so much as a family man. Blinking slowly, he reached across the bed for Kate and was disappointed with her absence. He knew there were children who needed to be tended to, and knew he'd find her downstairs, most likely. Peeling himself from the comfortable bed, he followed the smell of fresh coffee down the stairs. He found Kate, in the kitchen, Adam on her hip, still in his lounge clothes, chatting with the baby as she prepared a full breakfast. He now could smell the bacon, and could see eggs in the pan on the stove, and a grin spread wide over his face. He walked up behind her, resting his hand on her waist and placing a gentle kiss on the exposed skin on her neck. "Good morning," he offered as he felt her giggle.

"Good morning to you," she grinned as she turned. Jack immediately reached for the baby, who spoke great amounts of gibberish at his father, laughing as Jack held the infant over his head. At nine months, the baby held a decent amount of hair dusted along his little head, and his eyes held Kate's expressions. He was pale now, like Kate, and Jack figured freckles would soon make themselves known across the child's little nose. He found him even more adorable than he remembered.

Kate took in the scene before her and felt more than blessed. The baby cuddled up to Jack, poking his face with his little finger, and Jack laughed along with the baby, bouncing him up and down in his arms. Kate kept herself busy with the meal she was preparing, pouring Jack a cup of coffee, and then moving back to the pancakes she had cooking on the griddle.

"Everything smells delicious," Jack complimented, sipping his coffee. "Where's Aaron?"

"In his room playing, I suppose. He was out here a little while ago, but he's wandered off." Kate motioned with her hand around the house. "You get to help me take down decorations today," She teased Jack, kissing her son's infant nose. The baby made a face at the action, and Jack mocked it, relating it to his duty.

"You really know how to put a man back to work." He teased her back, more than glad to help her do whatever she needed, as long as she was right beside him.

"I haven't even begun to put you back to work," she suggested seductively, surprising herself, not catching the words until they were out of her mouth already. Jack's eyebrows raised in surprise, and Kate's face turned as red as the burner on the oven.

"All you have to do is ask," Jack supplied, taking in her adorable reaction. He kissed the side of her face, and moved off in search of Aaron and Brody, who he found in Aaron's room. Brody sat up from his laying position on Aaron's unmade bed, wagging his tail happily at the new person in the room, and Aaron flung himself from where his new Star Wars toys were set up, ready to be played with, and attached himself to Jack's leg.

"Hi Daddy!" He exclaimed happily. Jack worried momentarily he'd have to answer questions about where he'd been all this time, but was happily surprised when Aaron simply pulled him to the floor. "Look at all my new toys!" Jack felt sorry he hadn't been able to stop on his way home and get the boy something as a present, and decided he'd take him out to pick out his own.

"You got a lot of cool stuff, didn't you, kiddo?" Jack let the baby down on the ground, and he immediately moved for the toys. Aaron was quick to counter him though, handing him a stuffed animal that the child immediately out into his mouth, content.

"Here Adam, have this." He spoke to the baby, and Jack, slightly shocked by the behavior of his son, felt his heart swell with pride. "I tried to help Mommy take care of him," he told Jack, though his face was a little sheepish, "I was bad a little bit though, and made Mommy sad." Jack could tell he was confessing his actions, and though he and Kate hadn't had an in depth conversation about it, he didn't blame the child. He only blamed himself.

"Did you tell her you were sorry?" Jack asked softly, comforting the little boy with a rub on his little back. Aaron's blue eyes met Jack's and he nodded emphatically.

"Yes I did. I told her I was very sorry." He was proud of himself and Jack smiled at his son, seconding the motion.

"I'm sure she's forgiven you," Jack spoke honestly, with a grin, kissing the top of the boy's head.

"Good." Aaron replied, handing Adam another stuffed animal to keep him busy, while he handed Jack his newest toy. "You can play with this one, it's my favorite." He grinned up at his father, before handing him a character, and explaining what was happening between them all. Jack wouldn't have given anything to be anywhere but right where he was at that moment.

* * *

"My mom really went all out, didn't she?" a tired Jack spoke as he reclined himself on the couch next to his equally tired pregnant wife, who moaned in agreement. All jungle decorations were now down and in their trash can, except for the range of animals Aaron had begged to be able to keep. With the house free of the wild scenery, Jack realized how much hadn't changed since he'd been gone.

"It was so nice of her to do it though," she replied, resting her head in Jack's lap and her feet up on the armrest at the end of the sofa. They had settled back into some semblance of normalcy almost immediately, surprising them both, but knowing it spoke true to their connection. Their conversation in bed the night before had helped mend over some of those heartbreaks but they knew they had much more to talk about. As the Sunday day had progressed, they knew they had many things more they needed to cover—Jack's job, her next appointment, not too mention everyone associated with them, now not including their friends, thought he had passed on, so it would be a bit complicated to explain he was back now. None of that, however, stop their enjoyment of one another as the day had wore on. Both children were napping, and that left them with some time to themselves. Jack ran his fingers over Kate's wild curls, all piled on her head, which rested against his legs. She rested her arms on her stomach, and Jack took in the view from above her.

"Your bigger this time around," he observed and she raised an eyebrow at his admission, glancing up at him.

"Pardon me?" she replied, her voice expressing slight shock, though a smile hinted at her lips. He moved quickly to recover.

"No, no, I didn't mean it like that. I meant your belly is bigger than it was with Adam at six months." _Among other things,_ he thought to himself, eyeing another growing part of her body. Pregnancy looked good on her, he decided. She patted the mound playfully.

"Yeah, it is," she sighed, rolling her eyes. "It gets heavy after a while. I'm tired now and we're about to have three kids!" She laughed at the incredulous thought, never having thought she'd have babies ever, let alone three.

"I'd have to say my mother probably as shocked as you are." He laughed to himself, knowing there was a time when he didn't ever think he'd get remarried or have the son he wanted. Now he had two, and he felt all the more blessed with his daughter on the way.

"She was. Especially when we saw it was a girl. Your mother has been my rock these past months." She replied, and Jack felt thankful she had leaned on his mother for support. He knew she was stronger than she had ever allowed herself to be with his father, and now, nearing his fortieth birthday, he was closer to her than he had ever been. He hadn't seen her today, but she was having them over for a celebratory dinner, and he had to admit, he was excited to spend some time with her.

"I'm glad she could be there for you."

"I needed her badly." That was all she offered, before sitting up. "I'm hungry, want something to eat?" She asked him curiously, standing. He nodded.

"I could eat," was his reply and she laughed.

"So could this little one." He watched her walk to the kitchen, and was still amazed that from behind, she barely looked pregnant. She carried a little extra weight around hips, but it wasn't enough to denote her a pregnant woman from behind. And to be honest with himself, he enjoyed the difference in her body when she was carrying. He liked her fit too, but he enjoyed her both ways. Following her into the now clean kitchen, he fought to not pin her against the counter and have his way with her. It had been too long for him, and now surrounded by her scent and her beautiful body, he was overcome with the need to have her. Taking a leap of faith, he grabbed her waist from behind gently.

"Jack, what are you—", she started, surprise evident on her face as he spun her around to face him. He backed her into the counter in one movement and covered her lips with his, caressing her hip with one hand, cupping her head with the other. At first she didn't respond, but after a moment she melted into the kiss, her lips responding, nipping and licking at his like he was hers. Her hands reached to his hips, pulling him closer, thought her stomach prevented any real touching. That still didn't stop the kiss from taking his breath away, as well as hers. The kiss deepened and his lips began the descent down her neck, and she moaned her acceptance to his ministrations. He was nearing a need, one of pure desire, when the baby monitor let out the cry of their youngest upstairs. They broke apart with sheer surprise and immediately tension filled the kitchen. Kate stared at him for a moment, before moving off the get the crying infant, unsure of what had just happened.

Jack watched her leave the room, reaching out for a moment, calling her name, but she simply peered back at him before motioning toward the ceiling and making her way up the stairs. Frustrated, in more ways than one, he ran his hands over his face. They were married, why should it be so awkward? He knew the truth was that he'd been gone, and now he was back. And that wasn't something that just disappeared over night.

Kate tried to catch her breath as she reached Adam's room, swinging the door open. She knew it was more the kiss than the exertion of climbing the stairs that caused her to be out of breath, and as she picked up the infant, she tried to analyze the moment in the kitchen. Was it okay for her to just let him ravage her when he had been gone for so long? Truth was she wanted him to ravage her, and then some; she had missed all of him, including their intimacy. But how did that make her seem? They were married, hell, she was pregnant with their second biological child. She couldn't get over why it was so awkward, but she couldn't shake the feeling either. Rocking the settling baby in the rocking chair they had purchased when he was born, she tried to figure out her feelings. Was it because he had been gone and now he was back and it should feel more complicated that it did? Or was it more complicated than they were making it? Closing her eyes, she tried to settle herself. She had enjoyed this one day more than any of the ones while he had been gone, what was wrong with giving in to him? They were married, and so what if it was or wasn't more complicated than they made it seem? Shaking her head at her stressful thoughts, she was afraid to head back down the stairs after their kiss. What would he say? Deciding she'd sit there a little longer, she let the baby settle and gave herself the moments to gather herself.

There was no denying, however, in her mind, how much she'd missed kissing him.

* * *

_Reviews are gold to us writers :) Leave one and you'll be rewarded with something wonderful in the next chapter ;) hehe_


	62. Chapter 59

Chapter 59

**Whoa real life, you really made it difficult to update this fic. Sorry for the delay guys, it's been an insane few weeks. I missed writing these two, and I hope this week allows me to work on another chapter. Thank you for all your kind words everyone, and please leave a review :) I hope everyone is still enjoying this story!**

Kate came down the stairs, freshly showered and put together for Margo's dinner. It was later in the evening after their intense kiss in the kitchen, and they had somehow managed to avoid one another almost entirely. Jack was settling the kids, both dressed and ready to go, as was he. He peered at Kate as she made her way into the kitchen, her curly hair piled on top of her head, a few curls escaping, a babydoll tank top that accentuated her belly in a cute way, and her trademark wide-leg jeans. He remembered buying them for her during her first pregnancy, and the memory made him smile.

Truth was it made her smile too, even more so now that he was here. She subconsciously knew he was watching her as she walked into the kitchen and it made her self-conscious. She didn't know why she was avoiding him, and in the shower she couldn't help try to shake herself of the awkward feeling. It hadn't worked though, as she smiled shyly at her husband, who rocked Adam on his hip as Aaron told an animated story about a shark show he had seen on television. Grabbing her purse, and Adam's diaper bag, she stopped anxiously walking around in front of Jack and the kids.

"Are we ready?" she breathed, tickling the infant's neck, receiving a laugh in return. Aaron jumped up and down, nodding.

"I guess that's a yes," Jack laughed, signaling for her to lead the way out the door.

Jack settled Adam in his car seat, while Kate handled Aaron, and it was moments like this, so far, that she really noticed he was back. Helping her strap the children in the car, helping her dress them for the trip to their grandmother's, so many things that had been exhausting by herself were now so easy because she was no longer alone. She knew it had only been six months, but it had felt like an eternity. Shutting the door, she shyly dangled the keys to him. "Would you like to drive?" She offered, knowing the last thing he enjoyed was her driving, as most men would rather drive when asked, or insist on driving. But to her surprise, he shook his head.

"Nah, you drive. It's been awhile for me." His lips were in a thin line as he shrugged, and he tried to offer her a smile, but she knew it felt like a source of weakness for him to admit that it probably wasn't the safest idea. Settling herself in the driver's seat of the large SUV, she again felt self-conscious and scolded herself for feeling such a way. Though Margo was only a short drive away, the DVD players in the backseat entertained the babies, and Kate was glad they had the distraction. She looked over to Jack, who was settled on the passenger side.

"You're mom said she's making pork chops for you and Aaron," she grinned, knowing it was one of Jack's favorite meals. He smiled warmly.

"Mmm, my favorite," he sighed. She giggled a little at his hand resting on the handle above his head, he peered at her, confused. "What?"

"I promise I won't crash the car," her eyes sparkled at him in their silent laughter and shook his head, also smiling.

"Just promise me you won't drive past 8 months this time," he compromised, thinking back to almost losing her.

"I promised you that when you were—" she caught herself, immediately biting her tongue. Why had she ruined their innocent banter, she scolded herself. _I'm sure he's tired of hearing about when he was 'dead'_, she said silently to herself, glad for the familiar roads to his mother's so she didn't have to focus hard on driving them amidst her embarrassment.

"When I was what?" He repeated, unsure of what she'd meant. She sighed.

"I just used to go to your memorial stone a lot, is all. To talk to you, as stupid as it sounds."

"That's not stupid," Jack supplied, surprised she would think the action was stupid. "What kind of things would you say?" He asked after a minute, genuinely curious. She shrugged, her face flushed.

"Oh, I don't know, just stuff," she replied as she pulled into Margo's drive. She was relieved she wouldn't have to answer the question, at least for a little while. Giving him a reassuring smile, she slipped from the car, helping Aaron out, as Jack extracted Adam from his seat. Aaron immediately grasped Jack's free hand on their way to the door, and Kate felt her heart swell despite the awkwardness that had ensued. Carrying the diaper bag, she rubbed her belly affectionately, walking slowly behind her boys. Jack glanced back her and offered her a smile, as if he understood her awkwardness, and she gladly returned it, as Margo pulled open her large door.

"My boys!" She exclaimed, throwing an arm around Jack's shoulders and embracing Aaron against her leg. "I'm so happy to see you guys!" She greeted, winking at a smiling Kate, who found herself silently excited about having girl in these moments of being the only one.

"Hi Mom." Jack laughed at her outburst and kissed his mother's cheek as she released him and Aaron, moving on to Kate.

"Hi Margo," Kate offered, and Jack watched as the women embraced, the strong bond visually noticeable in the way they spoke quietly to each other, words he couldn't hear, and the smiles they shared. They both looked back at him then, and he returned a grin that showed how much he loved how close they were.

"Please, come inside! I've been cooking all day for you guys!" Margo ushered them into Jack's childhood home, memories flooding him as he peered past the large door. Aaron scampered after Margo, rambling about cake and ice cream, and as Kate made her way past Jack into the home, as he let her go first like a gentleman would, he touched her waist softly, his lips brushing the side of her head when she slowed due to his touch. Her eyes were soft as she peered up at him, and his eyes looked back upon her, full of the adoration and love he had always had for her. She felt her heart jump in her chest. She continued, pink cheeked and flushed, into the house, dropping the diaper bag in the foyer and heading into the kitchen, feeling more complete than she had in a long time.

One hand settled on her stomach, she nibbled immediately on a vegetable platter Margo had set out on the island in her kitchen. Jack settled Adam in the Pack N Play Margo had set up in the den by the kitchen and moved to the island, resting his hand on the small of Kate's back. She peered at him shyly, enjoying the carrots and celery the tray provided, not to mention the silence the food allowed her.

"How's she doing?" Jack asked curiously, sliding his large hand over the span of her bulging shirt. Kate nodded, chewing her food, and choosing her words carefully.

"She likes broccoli," Kate replied slyly, chewing a piece and moving his hand to a spot on the side of her belly, and feeling the being inside kick the wall of her uterus. Jack's face split into a huge smile at feeling the little foot below the surface of her skin, as if floated around her uterus wildly. "She likes it a little too much," Kate added, feeling a blow deep within her, causing a little discomfort. Margo watched the whole exchange silently, eying her long lost son as he immediately turned to fully face Kate, one hand landing on her arm softly, the other moving to her hip protectively.

"Are you okay?" He asked, his eyes laced with concern. Laughter played through her green eyes and she took in his solemn, serious expression.

"Yes, Jack. She's just a little wild," she replied, giggling a little at his concern. Margo held in her own chuckle at the kids, as Jack's face turned red and he released Kate to rub the back of his neck.

"Okay, just making sure." He moved away slightly, suddenly uncomfortable, feeling slightly overbearing. Kate felt stronger in front of Margo, giving his hip a playful bump. He appreciated the gesture, his hand sliding back to her lower back. Aaron called from the living room for Jack just then, and he appreciated the distraction, giving Kate a smile as he disappeared from the kitchen. As soon as he was gone, Kate collapsed into a chair at the kitchen table, covering her face with her hands. Margo moved to her, concerned.

"Sweetie, what's wrong?" Margo asked quietly, touching her daughter-in-law's shoulders. Kate shook her head, a half smile on her lips. Margo cocked an eyebrow.

"Oh my God, it's so awkward. Everything." Kate rubbed her face with her small hands, before clasping them below her chin. Margo turned and grabbed the cup of tea she had made Kate, and settled next to her, careful to listen for Jack and Aaron.

"Things aren't going to go back to normal overnight, sweetie. It's going to be a little weird for a while. It's to be expected." Margo assured the pretty woman, rubbing her arm with her wise hand. Kate chewed her lip, unsure.

"Last night it wasn't so bad. I felt the baby for the first time, and he was there, and it just seemed perfect. And then today in the kitchen, we kissed and it was...you know," Kate's cheeks flushed and Margo laughed a little at the young woman's modesty, "passionate, but then Adam started to cry and it was so uncomfortable after that. And then in the car I made the mistake of saying something about when he wasn't here… it's just so hard!" Kate covered her face again, laughing lightly despite herself. "It's ridiculous, I know. I just," she paused and through her small laughter, Margo could see the questions and the confusion in her pretty green eyes, "I don't understand. I prayed so hard for this chance, and now that he's here, it's just…awkward." Kate shrugged, her hands resting on her belly. Margo felt sympathy for her daughter-in-law. She rested a hand on the younger woman's hand.

"Honey, it's going to be strange. It's okay. You're doing the best you can. It's going to take a little while."

"It didn't for Aaron." Kate quipped, a jealous tone slipping out. Margo raised an eyebrow at Kate.

"He's four, Kate. If you were four, you'd feel the same way. He wished for his father on his birthday, and he appeared. To him, it's different. You'll get through this. You still love him, right?"

"Oh, yes," came out the immediate, passionate response, her eyes swiftly locking with Margo's, a smile playing on her lips. Margo smiled in return, patting Kate's hand.

"Well, good. Then everything else will eventually fall into place. I'll tell you what, I'll keep the babies tonight, and you and Jack can have some time to yourselves. Catch up a bit."

"Margo, you don't have to do that, I didn't mean to sound like—"

"I know exactly what you meant, but I want to. Besides, you two need this time." Kate smiled a large, grateful smile.

"You're amazing. How did I get so lucky to have you as my mother-in-law?" Kate responded to Margo's generous offer. Margo laughed out loud, patting Kate's thigh before standing.

"How did I get so lucky to have such a wonderful daughter-in-law who has blessed me with two wonderful grand children and one of the way? Oh, Jack," she spoke with such adoration for her son, moving to him as he re-entered the room, wrapping an arm around him trim waist. "Would you mind eating the pork chops all by yourself? I think you could stand a little fattening-up, don't you think so, Kate?" Jack rolled his eyes at his mother's implications and Kate giggled from her seat at the table, her left hand covering her mouth to hide her agreement. Jack caught sight of the beautiful engagement ring and wedding ring settled on her ring finger, and felt his heart relax a little. For some reason, he had been afraid she'd moved on, or wouldn't accept him after he'd been gone. Just overhearing the conversation with his mother Kate had just had, he didn't feel overly confidant that things would find their way back to where they belonged, hearing Kate's apprehension. But the fact that she so immediately replied she loved him to his mother and to see the platinum rings on her finger just how he remembered them, he felt a relief he'd been looking for since their kiss.

"Mom," Jack drew out the word, implying his embarrassment. Margo shrugged somewhat playfully.

"Okay, you don't have to eat all the pork chops. But the whole bowl of mashed sweet potatoes I made are entirely for you, okay?" The three adults laughed before Margo put Jack to work, helping finish putting the meal together, and as Kate watched lovingly from the kitchen table, she began to feel a little better. Her heart still ached with questions unanswered, questions they would have to hash out before they could move on, she knew, but on one hand she was beginning to feel a little more at home with this man who had just so suddenly reappeared, after she had finally, reluctantly accepted his absence. Every time she caught his eyes and he gave her that boyish grin, she could feel each piece of her broken heart sliding back where it belonged.

* * *

Jack sipped the cup of decaf coffee his mother had provided him with after dinner, comfortably settled and uncomfortably full from the delicious meal Margo had made. Kate was settling the children into bed in their room Margo had created while they were gone, trying to give them some semblance of home in the absence of their parents. Margo poured herself a cup of coffee as well and joined her son on her leather couch.

"That was a really good meal, Mom. One of my favorites. Thanks." He admired his mother, and appreciated everything she had done for Kate and his kids while he'd been gone. He just didn't know how to word something that would make him feel so emotional.

"You're welcome, Jack. It's good to have you here. Very good." She grabbed his hand tenderly, squeezing it. "We all missed you very much." Jack nodded his head at her admission, peering down at his mug for a second before looking back up at her eyes.

"It's good to be back." They shared a moment between them before he cleared his throat, brushing imagined crumbs off his jeaned thigh. "Is she okay?" Jack asked quietly. Margo rocked her head back and forth a bit, with a shrug.

"She will be. She's just adjusting." She supplied him with. He took in her words, sipping the warm liquid, contemplating her words.

"I feel terrible, about everything. I just don't know how to make her forgive me." His honest statement caught him by surprise, but it had been ever so present on his mind since their kiss that morning.

"It's not about forgiveness, Jack. It's about letting go. What happened, happened. Neither of you can go back. All you can do is help her understand and move on from this. And I know you two can get past this."

"I was gone for _six months_, Mom. She's six months pregnant. She's been dealing with a lot, alone, and even she admitted to me it was really hard on her."

"Of course it was. But that doesn't make it any less easy or hard to get past. It is what it is. Talk about it. Tell her how you feel." Margo pushed gently. Jack sighed in response, sliding an exasperated hand over his dark hair.

"She can be hard to talk to sometimes," Jack responded, causing a laugh from Margo that was unexpected for him. Jack's brow furrowed and as Margo regained her composure, she peered at him with her motherly eyes, a sparkle of laughter and knowing deep within them.

"Clearly you haven't tried to have a conversation with yourself, have you?" She deadpanned, a chuckle then rising from his own throat.

"Touché." He replied, a grin settled on his lips.

"Just try, Jack. What have you got to lose?" He didn't respond as his very pregnant wife suddenly joined them in the dimly lit living room, her petite hands wrapped around another cup of hot tea, a shy grin across her freckled face. As his mother, much to his relief, struck up a neutral conversation with Kate about her pregnancy, Jack couldn't help but answer the question that hung in the air silently. "_Everything,_" his mind whispered to him, voicing the fear he held deep down. He didn't even know where to begin explaining anything to her. He only hoped she'd be willing to listen.

* * *

Kate turned the key, sparking the ignition on the large car to life. They'd said their goodbyes to his mother, their babies sound asleep down the hall from her room, and now they were finally alone, the big SUV suddenly seeming very small. Putting the car in reverse, she backed out of the large driveway. When they were settled on the street to their house, he spoke quietly,

"What kind of things did you say?" He blurted it, his curiosity getting the best of him. Kate looked confused, peering back at him, unsure, but he knew her confusion didn't meet her eyes.

"What?" She asked, trying to focus on the road as rain drops began to fall.

"At my memorial stone. What kind of things did you say to me?" He was shy in asking the question, his eyes searching her face as she desperately watched the road, begging silently for a distraction. When none came after a beat, she took a deep breath, her words honest but quiet.

"I said lots of things. I'd go there every few days, when I could catch a moment alone. I brought the kids a few times too, but it was something I did alone mostly." Jack waited patiently for her to continue. "I'd just tell you how much I missed you, how much Aaron and Adam missed you, and stories about Brody because, wow, that dog was out of control." She laughed despite herself, brushing a loose curl from her face. I'd yell, I'd cry, I'd laugh. It was a coping mechanism." She felt very raw, very open as she vaguely explained what she'd been through.

"Earlier today, after you said you used to talk to me, I imagined if I'd actually lost you during Adam's birth. I don't know how you hung in there, Kate. I don't think I would've been able to." Jack's voice was so quiet, Kate had to strain to hear him. She glanced at him, taking in his vulnerability.

"You would have made it through for the kids. That's why I did." Kate statement with a matter of fact tone. Jack nodded, but knew deep down in his heart, he wasn't sure he was as strong as her. And he admired her for that, her toughness. She was a fighter. They were silent a while, a silence they both welcomed.

"I love you." The words were again soft, coming from his lips, and as she pulled into their driveway, her heart leaping, and yet dropping at the same time. She didn't respond, just peered at him for a long time, as if trying to figure him out.

"Why'd you do it Jack?" She asked bluntly, dying for the answer. He looked surprised, not expecting his admission to bring such angst. He looked for an answer in his mind, but Kate grew impatient with his silence. "Why, Jack? Why did you make me leave you there?"

"I...Kate, I did it to save us. You, me, our family, our friends."

"You could have just left with us. You didn't have do what you did." Kate stared at her belly, as it prevented her from staring at her hands that were wrapped together in her lap, and it was just another reminder of her anger deep down.

"Someone had to do it Kate. And I was determined to save you. I had no idea I wouldn't make it, or be lost in space and time for six months." He felt exhausted suddenly, not up for this debate with her. And now that he was back, after all he had missed, part of him questioned his own decision.

"Yes, you did. You must have. You told me to tell the boys you loved them." Her eyes were watery and glittered in the sheen from their outside lights. The raindrops that fell on the SUV gave her a texture, a shadow, that made her all the more beautiful to him. Her tears broke his heart though.

"I wanted to cover my bases, Kate. I needed you to know that, and to tell them, in case something did happen. I didn't pre-meditate it." Kate sighed heavily at his words and he ran his fingers through his hair.

"I was so mad at you, Jack. For so long." Her tone was resigned, tired.

"And now?" A hint of hope glistened off the words, as he prayed for her to understand what he was getting at, even if just a little.

"I don't know. It's strange, you being here, after I was alone for so many months. It's just...it's hard to explain." Flinging open the car door, Kate grabbed her purse and made for the front door as quickly as she could, needing a little space from him, and needing to get out of the car before she either screamed at him or jumped him. Jack followed, shutting the door behind them.

"Try." He replied, insistent on understanding her anger and confusion toward him. And he had tried to tiptoe around it, but had found it difficult to bear and figured tough love was what she needed now. They both pat an excited, tail-wagging Brody on the head, as Kate strode toward the living room, Jack in pursuit.

"Jack! I don't know how to explain to you why I feel the way I do!" Kate sighed, exasperated and collapsed on the couch. "I was alone for six months! And every day was a struggle. I can't just let go of everything I went through."

"I'm not asking you to. I'm asking you to _talk_ to me about it." Jack sat beside her, grasping her hands over her swollen belly. "Kate, I'm sorry. I really am. I wish none of it had happened. But I did what I did because I was supposed to. I'm sorry if you don't feel the same."

"I understand why you sank that fucking island, Jack," Kate replied harshly, with a direct glare. "What I don't understand is why your family wasn't important enough to you for you to come home with me. What did I do? Why wouldn't you want to come back with me?" Jack could see the hurt in her eyes, the pain, now, and realized she wasn't mad because of what he did, she was upset because she had felt abandoned.

"I did it to keep us safe. So it couldn't ever happen again, to us or anyone. Over a hundred people lost their lives, again, Kate. I did it for them too." A tear escaped down her cheek and he raised her head with his hands, both on her cheeks, his eyes searching hers, bearing into her soul. "I love you, and our children more than anything. I did _not _do this because I didn't love you or because I didn't want to be with you. All I ever have wanted, since the day you kissed me, and probably before, was to be with you. I have you and so much more now. You have to understand me, none of this is your fault." He searched her teary eyes, begging her to understand.

"I was so afraid I did something, that I pushed you away, and I couldn't think of what that could have been and it was driving me crazy—" She rambled and ranted, her eyes tearing up, and Jack shushed her, his heart unable to take much more.

"Shhh, Kate. You didn't do anything. You're perfect. I'm so sorry for what I did to you." She fell into his chest, wrapping her arms around him as best she could and sobbed into his shirt. He held her, kissing her hair and whispering words of comfort, knowing her emotions were just. He couldn't go back, all he could do not was offer her comfort and understanding, along with reassurance. He let her cry for a while, let her get everything out, knowing the relieving of the stress would be good for their growing little one. When her tears had subsided enough to the occasional sniffle, she leaned way from him, her eyes swollen and red, her face flushed, and her lips chapped. And he fell in love with her all over again.

"I love you so much," she spoke softly, resting her swollen lips on his. He was surprised by the kiss, but wasted no time in responding, gently accepting her olive branch. The kiss was soft, a form of apology, on both parts. After a few moments they broke apart, and he kissed her forehead gently.

"I love you too." They rested together, embraced on the couch for a few moments, before he spoke into her soft curls, the scent of them driving him mad. "You and little one ready for bed?" She nodded against him.

"Yeah, we are. Are you?"

"Oh, yes." Untangling himself from her, he stood, greeting the excited dog who had been waiting patiently for someone's attention. "I'll let him out and meet you up there," Jack offered, helping her stand. She yawned for effect and nodded.

"Mmmm…thank you." She kissed the handsome dog's head, snuggling him for a moment. "I'll meet you up there."

When Jack entered the bedroom, the lights were off, and the room was quiet. He could see Kate's shape under the covers, and stripped down to his boxers, climbing in beside her. He grinned to himself at the soft fabric of another of his tee shirt as he tentatively snuggled close behind her. She sighed into him, relaxing, her body molding into his as he held her close. He kissed the side of her neck.

"I'm glad we talked," he whispered, feeling better than he had all day. She nodded against the pillows.

"Me too." Her voice was full of sleep and his heart swelled as his hand rested on her swollen abdomen. "Love you."

"Love you too." He knew they were on their way to recovering what they had lost, and he just hoped it didn't take six months for all they had been to find its way back to them.


	63. Chapter 60 M RATED

Chapter 60

**Could it have taken me any longer to update? Those of you who read my blog (the link is on my profile) know I have had some SERIOUS writer's block recently, but thanks to the help of lostindallas62, stef23.51, and forevererica, amongst all you wonderful, loyal readers, I have been able to write this. Hope you guys enjoy it! :)**

**_***NOTE: This chapter is EXTREMELY M rated so if you're not into that, don't read it._ I do not intend to offend anyone or upset anyone. You can read chapter 61 without reading this chapter, so don't feel like you're missing anything other than a jex session ;) Though it is a good one, I think :-P*****

**Enjoy! **

* * *

Kate stretched her arms out along the large bed, allowing her eyes to open slowly, relishing in the comfort and well-rested sleep she had received that past night. One of the best parts, she decided, about having Jack home was being able to finally sleep at night. Brody had been good company but not the same as Jack's company and now that he was back beside her, she slept better than she had before. She was surprised, and a bit disappointed however to find he was not beside her as she lifted her head off the pillow, and instead found his side empty, though still rumpled and full of his scent. She grinned as her face rested against his pillow now, taking in his familiar soapy, masculine smell. And then the faint smell of coffee mixed with a smell similar to waffles caused an even bigger grin to slide across her freckled face.

"Good morning, little girl," She whispered to her belly with an affectionate rub as she lifted her rested, loose body from the large bed. She hadn't felt so relaxed in so long, and it was thanks to the man in her kitchen, cooking her breakfast. The grin stayed ear to ear as she proceeded to the closet, sliding on a pair of loose fitting sweatpants and one of his long sleeved henleys. She tied her wild curls up in a loose ponytail and made her way down the stairs in her slippered feet, surprised at the chill in the air from their open windows. Brody met her at the bottom, laying comfortably in the sun from the windows, taking in the morning shine. His long tail wagged as he panted at Kate, happy to see her, as always. She bent down, carefully of her protrusion to pet the animal. She then followed the sound of CNN and the smell of warm dough into the kitchen. Leaning against the wall by the kitchen, she watched as Jack made waffles and bacon, shirtless, in her favorite sweatpants of his. They hung low on his thin waist and she took in the view, feeling the familiar warmth of attraction steaming through her blood. Something about the man before her could easily make her week in the knees. He didn't notice her for a moment, and she was glad for going unnoticed, taking in the muscles along his back as he moved about.

When he finally turned, he caught her eyes, and surprised grin sliding across his features.

"How long have you been standing there?" He chided, beckoning her closer. She smiled warmly, pulling the sleeves over her small fingers and rubbing her hands together.

"Not long, just a couple minutes. Whatcha got going on here?" She leaned up, surprising him, catching his lips with hers before she settled against the counter. She could think back to all the numerous times he had done this exact thing, making breakfast for her and their family, waking before her to do so. And it made her feel more comfortable, more _at home_ with him.

"Making you and baby girl a little breakfast." He replied. She loved that he always spoke of their unborn child. He had done it with Adam too and she felt warm inside from his words every time. She felt the child within her tumble around and she laughed silently, wondering if her heart skipping beats caused the response.

"We appreciate that because we're very hungry, aren't we little one?" She rubbed her belly for effect and he slowed to touch it gently before moving back to the stove where the bacon lay cooking. Kate knew that was for him, since a berry parfait was awaiting her next to her plate.

"I do think we need to have a talk though," he began, his face all seriousness as he approached her. Her heart dropped a little, her smile fading as she worried for a moment, wondering what he could have to say, as it sounded like it would ruin their happy morning. "This thing with you wearing my clothes.." he paused and Kate held her breath while she waited for him to continue, "must continue because you look adorable." He stood in front of her, a day or two of stubble across his handsome face, his chest bare, and a sly grin across his face as a smile broke across her own.

"I think I can make that happen. You have great taste." She replied, her hands tentatively finding their way to his hips, her fingertips sliding across his bare skin, causing shivers down his spin. "As long as you always make breakfast shirtless." She bargained. He reached out his hand, and she giggled.

"Deal." She shook his hand, laughing, and he took in her beautiful rosy cheeks and her carefree demeanor this early Monday morning. He kissed her forehead before moving back to their waffles, plating the breakfast masterpiece he had created, topped with whipped cream and fresh berries. Kate's eyes lit up as he placed the delicious treat in front of her on the island, and she climbed up, sipping the glass of Pellegrino he had provided her with, knowing she wasn't drinking coffee due to the pregnancy.

"Jack, this looks amazing! Thank you," She replied shyly. He settled next to her, taking a drink of his coffee and squeezing her hand in his.

"You deserve this every day." He replied, catching her eyes for a moment before turning back to eat his plates.

They ate in silence for a few moments, except when Kate would moan in appreciation causing a chuckle from Jack. They watched the news, and enjoyed each other's company, and Kate sent a thank you to a higher power for the opportunity to have these normal, perfect moments with the man she missed so much.

She devoured her waffle and parfait in record time, causing another laugh from Jack, who peered at her with a raised eyebrow.

"Did you chew any of that or did you just inhale it?" He kidded, only half way done with his own food. She laughed and rubbed her belly.

"We inhaled it." She verified before eyeing his thin waist. "I'm sure you could use another one if you could eat it."

"What is it with you women and my weight?" Jack spat the rhetorical question in mock angst, rolling his eyes. Kate giggle and poked his side.

"You just look like you could use it is all." She bit the corner of her cheek as he playfully glared at her, laughter dancing through her green orbs. He watched her for a moment and then shook his head, laughter again flowing from his lips.

"You're something else."

"I know." She shrugged with a wink. She sat with him while he finished and feeling fun and mischievous the whole time, enjoying their banter and his teasing. These were some of the moments she had missed the most. As he finished his food, he asked her about plans for the day, and she relaxed back into the chair, sighing happily.

"I don't have any. We could get the kids and do something or we could spend some time alone, whatever you'd like to do."

"The kids are pretty comfortable at my mom's, huh?" He asked, cleaning up their plates. She nodded, a smile across her pretty face.

"Oh yes, they do. I think sometimes they'd rather be there than with us." She replied, standing to help him. With his back to her, she had a sudden idea, a moment of mischief and an unsound desire to mess with her husband, someone not easily messed with.

Out of spite, and her excitement, Kate pulled the whipped cream can from the refrigerator next to her, and advanced toward Jack quickly and quietly, popping the top off into her small hand. With a devilish grin, and a leap of her heart, she sprayed the white foam onto the back of his neck, his shoulders immediately flying up in surprise, as he moved away from her in shock.

"What the—," his eyes were wide as he spied her mischievous smile and reached his hand up behind his head and touched the creamy substance. It only took a moment for his reaction to move to retaliation from surprise, reaching for the can, his eyes playful yet warning. "Katherine Anne, give me that can," he warned as she squealed and moved away, spraying the sticky foam at him. He growled with laughter, reaching for the can, and soon overtaking her, his height and weight the winning mixture. She screamed playfully, trying to jump away from his secure arm around her waist, trying to push his hands away, her laughter music to his ears. Her pajamas were soft against his bare chest, and in joy, he squirted the whipped cream down her own shirt, causing a surprised squeal from her little mouth. Her laughter continued as she begged for her freedom, and when he released her, she spun around, grabbing for the can.

"Give it to me!" She demanded, and he took refuge in her bright green eyes as she wrestled him into the kitchen counter. He sprayed the foam all over her, and delighted in her squeals as he held her pressed against him. He finally ceased his attack after he was convinced they were both covered with the entire can of the whipped cream, her defenses having sent some of it onto him as well.

Still high from her laughter and his grip around her, she glanced up at him, and caught his deep brown eyes shining back down at her. Her heart leapt again.

"Hi," she spoke softly. He grinned bigger.

"Hi," he responded back, still enjoying the way she was nestled against him. He removed some of the sweet cream from her cheek with his finger, and licked it off. Her eyes followed his tongue and he knew that look. He had her hooked. "Do you remember the time we had sex right here after putting Aaron to bed? Before we were married?" His voice was gruff and husky, and Kate could feel the goosebumps of anticipation cover her body, a shiver of delight running down her spine. She tilted her head and he could see his Kate again, in her eyes. She whispered against his lips,

"Remind me."

His lips crashed into hers, shocking her and rocking her to her core, the shocks and sparks flying through her body. It took only a moment for the tentative kiss to grow ten fold, their passion and attraction to each other too much to hold back. Kate's hands were around Jack's neck in a heartbeat, one hand grabbing at his shoulder, her nails digging in, her other running through his cropped hair. He felt like she couldn't get enough of him, like she was trying to climb into him, and for a moment, he forgot about the being between them, and being gentle with the pregnant woman before him. She nipped at his bottom lip, a moan from her filling his senses and that was all it took, as he spun her quickly, lifting her easily onto the counter that had been behind him, settling her there, moving between her legs. She wasted no time in pulling the Henley above her head, throwing it to the kitchen floor and he grinned, his eyes dark, at the sight of her naked upper half. She pulled him back to her lips, wrapping her legs around his waist, locking her ankles, keeping him, and his increasing attraction to her, pressed against her tightly.

He growled into her mouth, devouring her, his hands sliding all over her smooth skin, the scent of her vanilla lotion driving him mad. Her gripped her enlarged breasts rougher than he normally would, but unable to help himself. She arched into him, a loud moan landing against him lips, and he smiled devilishly against hers, opening eyes to see hers closed in pleasure. He hadn't quite imagined their first time together since he'd been back happening here, in the kitchen, in a fiery fit of passion, but he wasn't complaining, and it would take a freight train to hold him back from having her now. And somewhere between her moans, her hands pulling at him, and her breathy whispers, he was sure she wasn't complaining.

His mouth attached to one of her breasts and she cried out. Kate rested her head against the cabinet, allowing Jack full access to anything he wished, and knowing she could no longer hold her head upright. She was in drowning in him and she was still half dressed. Panting, and unbelievably turned on, she pulled his head up to her lips, biting his bottom lip again, relishing in the masculine growl that escaped.

"I have to have you now." She begged, pleaded with him, her eyes boring into his own, surprise and desire staring back at her. He was shocked at her forward words, that they had reappeared so soon, as he was sure it would have taken longer than a few days for this moment he had been dying for. But judging by the work her hands were doing on his drawstring and the grip she had on his manhood, he didn't have the ability to think twice. He did raise an eyebrow though.

"Now?" he questioned, answered with the adamant nodding of her head.

"Yes," she breathed, her eyes pleading with him, clouded over with the attraction and need that flowed out with the word itself. He didn't need any encouragement, lifting her hips and sliding the sweatpants down her legs, shocked my the sight of her bareness, no panties hiding her delicious body from him. He was overtaken by her entire beauty and incredibly turned on, unable to do anything other than run his hands over her whole naked body, stepping out of his own sweatpants, rubbing himself against her. Her swollen abdomen kept them separated somewhat, but judging by her swollen lips, her seductive eyes, and her panting for him, he didn't think she minded. She didn't seem in the mood for soothing, sensitive love, and he was fine with whatever she wanted from him. He was hers for the taking, no matter how that taking happened.

Kate watched the darkness that were his hazel eyes, taking in every inch of her, his hands following, and wanting to scream for him to be inside her. She didn't know how she hadn't jumped him the moment he had walked through her door and back into her life, feeling his hands doing things to her she could remember, but hadn't felt in so long. She was overtaken by the pleasure in which each brush, caress, and grip caused her. His lips ravaged her as he pressed himself against her, and she could feel her eyes rolls back, unable to prevent it, and so in need of him. She hadn't feel this kind of need in so long, and was dying for the places she knew it would take in. She ran her hands over the expanse of his chest, along his pecks and through his soft hair, and watched him watch her for a moment. It was as if they shared a moment of connection, a moment of love, before he slid himself into her with no such warning, receiving the reception and reaction out of Kate he had been dying for. Her lips parted in a silent moan, the sound never even able to escape before he began to move, not giving her more than a mere moment to allow her accommodation of him. And she loved every bit of it, the sheer pleasure and heat of the pain that was satisfaction sliding through her, causing the intense bliss she'd been craving. She gripped her legs around his hips, keeping his pelvis close to hers, gripping at his shoulders, not even noticing her head falling back into the cabinet somewhat roughly, his lips attacking her neck, his height coming in handy. Reaching behind him, he pulled her legs apart, gripping behind her knees, allowing him more leverage from every angle, allowing him to devour all of her, his hot mouth sliding down from her neck to her breasts, his hips driving into her deeper now, and he delighted in the moans of enjoyment and want coming from his love. It was unceremonious and unexpected, but he wouldn't have had it any other way.

Abruptly he stopped within her, moments from her most intense release, and she whimpered, opening her heavy eyelids, taking in his expression of pure love as he watched her. She used her back against the cabinet as leverage, rocking her hips into his, demanding. He chuckled at her, wanting to hear the words.

"Jack," she demanded, her whisper hoarse, and sending a new sensation of want through him.

"What?" He replied, his voice deep and husky, and he ran a range of kisses down her throat, feeling and hearing the moan that escaped.

"I want…" she gasped as he latched onto her sensitive nipple.

"You want what?" he questioned, moving to the next one, taking his time, as he could feel her clench around him, driving him crazy. But he was determined to give her the experience he was sure she missed. He wouldn't be able to go much longer, and he wanted to make sure she went over the edge right with him.

"More." Her desire for him flashed through her evergreen eyes, and he knew he couldn't wait any longer, no matter how much he wanted to play with her. He had all the time in the world now, for the rest of his life to enjoy her. But right now, in this moment, he needed to bring her over the edge with him.

Without another word, he drove into her, causing a pleased squeal from her, her hands gripping his shoulders, her nails driving into his skin, as he held her up, pressing into her. He whispered to her, asking her to come with him, pleading for her to, and she allowed herself to fall into the abyss that Jack Shephard could create for her, his name shaping on her lips over and over again as she tightened around him, taking him with her. He gently leaned his head against her chest, catching his breath, feeling her heart racing below his head, as she tried to catch her own. Running her fingers through his hair, she was glad she had persuaded him into the whipped cream fight in the first place.

Lifting his head, he gazed into her eyes, drinking her in, meeting her admiration and love head on. He brushed a loose curl from her face and ran his finger down her face across her chin, a small grin on his face.

"You're so beautiful right now." He whispered, her heart racing again, the words touching her emotionally, again reminding her how much she had missed him. She smiled back, grasping his cheeks in her hands and bringing his face to hers, placing a sweet series of kisses on his lips.

"That was amazing," she stated, satisfied, leaning her head back against the counter before wincing in discomfort. His eyes flashed to concern as he stood up straighter, sliding out of her and shifting her.

"Are you all right?" He spoke, searching her face. She giggled, her face full of laughter and pain.

"As hot as that was, next time, lets pick a softer location." She joked, wincing as Jack gently lifted her up, her legs wrapping again around his still bare waist. Her arms found their way around his neck as her lips found his lips.

"Like where?" He teased, stepping away from the counter, her naked body still secured to his. She seemed to contemplate for a moment before replying.

"The couch, or the bed, or there's always the living room floor," She gave him a playful look and he held her tighter, the very noticeable bulge between them snuggled safely against him.

"Where would you prefer?" He growled into her next and she gave him a heartwarming laugh, throwing her head back, her hair cascading down her shoulders where it had come loose from her elastic.

"I think we should start in the living room, and we'll see where that takes us." She supplied, as he carried her into the living room, giggling the whole time.

"Again?" She exclaimed, her eyes shining with the adoration she felt for the man carrying her. He eyed her playfully as he laid her down on the soft carpet, a place very familiar to him.

"Are you complaining, Mrs. Shephard?" He chided and she shook her head vehemently.

"I would never." She spoke sweetly, pulling him down on her, kissing him intensely, urging him for round two. He laughed against her lips and placed a comforting hand on her hip.

"I'm so glad to hear it."

* * *

Hours later, Kate's head lay on Jack's chest, her hair still wet from an impromptu shower, her body tired and satisfied from more sexual activity than she could have ever wished for, the arms of the man she loved wrapped around her, dusting up and down her side, his breathing slow against her head.

They had talked, ate, made love a few times, showered, made love again, and were now settled in their bed in the late afternoon, the kids still with Margo, the adults enjoying this time alone, relearning everything about the other.

Jack cleared his throat, kissing her wild curls, squeezing her tighter.

"I love you," he whispered into her hair. She grinned against his chest, sliding her head up to face him. She rested her chin on the back of her palm.

"I love you," she replied, gazing at him, their eyes locking. He brushed a few loose curls behind her ear and pulled her closer, wrapping his arms tightly around her. He felt the bump of the baby against his hip and chuckled, kissing Kate's nose.

"We needed this," she spoke quietly, snuggling into him with a tired smile. She rubbed her back and kissed her forehead, seconding her notion.

"I needed you." He replied, his eyes growing tired.

The felt the prickle of tears against the back of her eyes as she closed them, a permanent smile across her face as she felt the baby, too, settle within her. She had needed this, him, more than anything and she knew, now, things would be back to normal. They had fought and made up, and could now move on, their love proven unbreakable. It they could make it through this, Kate didn't think there was anything they couldn't make it through.

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	64. Chapter 61

Chapter 61

"Daddy! Come see this frog!"

Jack smiled at the sound of his son's voice, making his way through the shallow water and mud to see Aaron's slimy find. Aaron crouched over the little creature, entranced by his green skin and slimy residue. "That's a big one!"

They had left Kate and Adam for the day, heading out to go fishing and enjoy some father-son bonding. Jack could remember the days when being alone with the little boy had stressed him and caused him anxiety, but now it seemed the most natural of actions. Jack could remember learning to fish while visiting his mother's family, and wanted to bestow the activity upon Aaron, though he was more interested in the wildlife of the area. Jack didn't mind though, it was the time spent together that mattered.

"It's all slimy!" Aaron laughed as he tried to poke the green amphibian, though it jumped away just in time. Aaron squealed with laughter as Jack reeled in his empty fishing line once more. Once Aaron was convinced there were no more frogs to scout for, he settled next to Jack on a large rock as Jack cast the line back into the still stream. "Did you fish in Heaven, daddy?"

Aaron dropped the question like a ton of bricks on Jack, and though he's only been home a three weeks, they haven't discussed his actual whereabouts with the young boy. Kate didn't want to, thought it would be too difficult for him to understand, but Jack felt indifferent. He didn't, however, think that Aaron would ask about it. Clearly, he was incorrect on that assumption.

"Aaron, in Heaven, you can do whatever makes you happy." He told the small child, casting a sideways glance at his blonde son, watching the words sink in.

"Did you see Grandpa Christian?" His blue eyes held such an innocent gleam that Jack found it difficult lying to the small boy.

"I did." Jack nodded, feeling his words sting as they came out. He actually wished he had.

"Why didn't he come back to?" Aaron asked curiously, peering up at his father. Jack chewed the inside of his lip for a few moments, contemplating an answer.

"He couldn't. He had things there he had to do, just like I have things here I need to do." Jack felt pleased with his explanation, as Aaron continued his questioning session.

"Like take care of me, Mommy, Adam, and the new baby?"

"Exactly. All those things."

"I did a good job taking care of Mommy and Adam. Mommy took care of the new baby, though, since it's not out yet." Aaron was so matter of fact and mature with his way of thinking, it swelled Jack's heart. He reached an arm around the boy and gave him a squeeze.

"I know you did, kiddo. Thank you for taking such good care of them." Jack kissed the top of the little boy's head and he leaned into Jack.

"Mommy missed you a lot though. She cried all the time. But now she smiles all the time because she's better now." His words broke a bit of Jack's heart, but Jack knew it was true. They'd come a long way in the past few weeks, 'back to normal' he would almost say. She still gave him that look sometimes, the one that spoke how much she'd truly missed seeing him read to Aaron, or rocking Adam in the rocking chair, just about anything he hadn't been around to do. But she was kind, and sweet to him, just as she had been before, though much more dependant than he remembered. But he didn't blame her, she had been alone, pregnant, and raising to young children. If he had to do that…he couldn't even process the thought.

"I'm glad she's better now." Jack spoke softly, casting the line again, hoping in this different spot they'd find a fish to feed the boy's curiosity.

"I missed you too." Aaron spoke in the same soft tone, staring down at a leaf, and Jack felt his heart go out to the young boy, who had so quickly received a father and then lost him just as fast. He put the pole down, and drew his son into his lap, wrapping his arms around him, resting his head atop Aaron's.

"I know, kiddo, and I missed you so much. I'm sorry it happened." He squeezed the boy a little tighter and squeezed his own eyes shut, fighting back tears he didn't expect but wasn't surprised by these days.

"Do you think the angels will take you again?" Aaron's voice was muffled against Jack's light jacket, but he heard the words and pulled Aaron back to look at him, scanning his little face that longed for acceptance and love, proof he wouldn't lose his father again.

"Aaron, I promise, I will not leave you again. I'm your father forever, you hear me?" He pulled the boy close, holding him tightly to his chest. Three years ago he wouldn't have expected to love this child so fiercely, but now he couldn't imagine a life without him.

"Okay," Aaron spoke into Jack, staying comfortably snuggled against his father, and Jack took the moments of silence to regain his composure. After a few moments, the pole moved slightly, where it lay next to Jack's hip, and Jack instinctively moved for it, Aaron, turning excitedly in his lap to peer at the tightened fishing line.

"Maybe we'll have something to bring home to your mother after all!" Jack laughed as he reigned in the fish, the excitement evident inside him and all over Aaron's face. He was glad they'd chosen to spend the day together just the two of them. They needed it.

* * *

"Aren't you just the best baby ever? You are, aren't you? Yes you are," Kate lifted the infant over her body as she lay on her back on their plush couch, making Adam giggle as she did so. She brought him back to her, as he let out a squeal and she kissed his nose, before lifting him back up again. They'd been alone all day, since Jack and Aaron had gotten up before dawn and headed on their exciting fishing adventure. Her heart had swelled when Jack had presented the idea to her, seeking bonding time with his son, and she couldn't think of anything better for the two. She loved when they spent time together, especially because that mean she got to spend time alone with her little, little man, Adam.

Coddling the baby to her chest, she sang him a few words of her favorite lullaby as he yawned. They had been on a long walk, enjoyed some Sesame Street, cleaned the house, and played on the floor for a while, and she knew it was past his nap time. She enjoy times like this when it was just the two of them, it reminded her of times with Aaron before Jack had returned to them, way back. But Adam was much easier than Aaron, and reminded her of his father. He had his father's eyes and dark, dark hair, and he had a quiet, reserved demeanor. They would joke he always seemed deep in thought.

Kate struggled a bit to pull herself to a sitting position, Adam lying against her and her large belly constricting some of her movement. She laughed to herself as she maneuvered her pregnant body and stood carefully, kissing the baby's cheeks as he giggled, carrying him to his room. He chatted nonsense with her as they walked, but she could tell he was tired. He reminded her of Jack in so many ways and it pleased her to know she was carrying another child of his, theirs, a baby girl. She got giddy inside just thinking about it.

Never picturing herself to be a mother of more than one child, if that, she prided herself in her mothering skills. She felt she did it well, and loved being a stay at home mother to her children. She knew, however, that wouldn't last if Jack didn't get his job back.

Kate laid the sleepy infant down, and rubbed his back for a few moments, encouraging his little body into a long sleep. When she was content with his deeper breathing, she moved to the door, shutting it quietly. She grabbed the laundry basket and carried it down the stairs, all the while planning their Thanksgiving meal in her head, as the holiday was a week away.

Throwing the laundry in the washer, she made her way to the kitchen, pouring herself a glass of sparkling water and grabbing a notebook, making her shopping list for the dinner, jotting down notes on how many people were attending, and how many children she'd be feeding. She knew their entire group was coming, Sun and Jin were flying in from Korea with Ji Yeon, Sayid and Nadia would be attending with Mina, Hurley was coming, along with a young woman he had met recently, since being deemed healthy. Kate's father had been deployed his last time and wouldn't be able to make it, but promised to try to be there for the birth of their daughter. Sawyer and Juliet had every intention of coming, but Juliet was convinced the baby was coming every time Kate spoke with her, so she would plan on them but wouldn't be surprised if they didn't attend. The last couple gave Kate a slight anxiety, only because she knew he husband was still unsure of how to navigate his mother's relationship with Frank. She giggled a little to herself while thinking about Jack getting slightly uncomfortable in the presence of the man. She was happy Margo had found someone to spend time with, someone with a schedule that allowed her the independence she craved, but who cared and made her laugh. Margo had told Kate of her enjoyment of spending time with Frank, but Kate always delayed in telling Jack, knowing he was still not overly thrilled with the idea. Kate was sure it was some deep down regret over his relationship with his father, but Jack, in his usual fashion, didn't like to talk about it. She shook her head, laughing to herself.

Feeling the being within her swirl, Kate slid her hand down to the belly, softly touching the light fabric of her shirt that lay around her swollen abdomen, her brain drifting off into wonders of the child within. She prayed she was an easier to raise than she had been to her own mother, but hoped she could pass on her own strength and independence to the child. A shiver fell down her spine at the thought of delivering the baby, and as the infant within her kicked, she laughed again. "Don't take offense, baby, it's just not an overly pleasant experience," she chided to the silent room. Brody rustled from his napping place in the corner of the kitchen, and she smiled lovingly at the dog, knowing he thought she was talking to him. She knew he would welcome the new addition; he had a love for children, with his gentle, protective demeanor.

The sound of the garage opening brought her back to the present, closing her notebook and standing to greet her fishermen. Brody's tail wagged from his content position and Kate grinned at the big dog before the door flew open, a dirty, blonde haired boy running his way into the kitchen, followed by his father with a cooler. Both had large smiles on their faces, and Kate kneeled to embrace the little one.

"Hi baby," she wrapped her arms around the bouncing child, before he gently pulled back, placing his hands excitedly on her shoulders.

"Mama, we caught two fish!" He exclaimed, running back to Jack, who was standing against the counter where he had placed the cooler. His soft smile made her warm, and she returned it, moving to him, and sharing a quick, sweet kiss and hello, before Jack pulled the top off the cooler, revealing two medium-sized dead fish for her to cook. She praised the young child, and he shined in the words, recounting how they had caught the fish, and how his dad had left him hold them while he removed the hook. Jack assured Kate and her dubious expression that the child was in no danger, and Kate laughed at her husband, rolling her eyes.

"I'm so proud of you, sweet pea!" Kate praised, kissing the child's forehead.

"Can I call Grandma please?" He asked excitedly, and Kate giggled as Jack dialed Margo's number on the cell phone and handed it to the child, who scampered off, recounting the story to Margo as soon as she answered the phone.

"I see you two had fun," she smiled warmly, meeting Jack's chocolate orbs. He gazed back, reaching a hand around her petite, pregnant waist.

"We had a blast. What have you been doing?" He nuzzled her neck, inhaling her sweet perfume and laying butterfly kisses along the arch.

"Adam and I had a great day. I actually just laid him down." She met his gaze and raised an eyebrow. "You're awfully affectionate, you all right?" She teased, though was surprised by his snuggle desires.

"Just missed you is all." He replied with, wrapping his long arms around her shoulders. She rested her head on his broad chest, enjoying how his body had begun expanding since he'd been working out regularly again.

"Well, I missed you two, but I think you could use a shower before we consider snuggling any closer…" her voice drifted off as she looked up to search his face, a smirk across hers.

"What? You don't like the smell of stream water and dead fish?" He pretended to be hurt by the suggestion, and she threw her head back in an incredulous laugh.

"Only if I'm at the stream fishing myself. Not in this clean house, mister." She released him and swatted his butt, sending him off in search of chatty Aaron, talking Margo's ear off about his latest favorite Disney movie.

"He hasn't seen her recently, maybe we could arrange an overnight?" Jack tried, wiggling his eyebrows at her. She raised an eyebrow and giggled.

"She had plans with Frank tonight," she eased out gently, receiving the expected look of disdain from her husband. Through another chuckle she warned him, "Jack…"

"Yeah, yeah. I like him, just not for her." He whined, picking up the small boy and throwing him over his shoulder.

"Jack…" she warned again, a little louder, securing her point. He huffed and rolled his eyes.

"I'll be better." He replied. She shook her head.

"Oh, I'm sure," she spoke under her breath as she turned back to the cooler. "Well, little fishys, I suppose I should do something with you. How would you like to be cleaned and de-boned? Oh great, I thought it was a good idea as well."

* * *

Later that evening, Jack wandered down the stairs after tucking in the children, clad in pajama pants and a soft grey shirt, clean from yet another shower, he and Aaron having wrestled with Brody while trying to bathe the large dog, and both in need of another bathing themselves. Now freshly cleaned and with the kids settled down to bed, Jack went in search of his wife, knowing she was somewhere around the house. His suspicions held fast when he found her sitting cross-legged on the island in the kitchen, a bowl of ice cream in her hand, as she licked a bite off the spoon. He greeted her with a raised eyebrow and her cheeks turned pink.

"Hey," she greeted, and he took in the few curls that fell from her messy bun, the way his old college tee shirt pulled snug across her belly in the position she was in, her bare feet snuggled up under the ends of his long pajama pants. He found her absolutely adorable.

"Hey," he grinned back, moving to pour himself a glass of milk. She chewed the inside of her lip for a moment, scooping another bite of ice cream from the bowl.

"The vanilla maple ice cream is awesome." She took another bite and moaned for effect, and he chuckled a little.

"It is, huh?" he replied, sipping his milk and leaning back against the counter, observing her.

"It's strange, huh?" She spoke quietly, taking another bite. He peered at her curiously.

"What's that?" He asked her softly, genuinely curious of her thoughts. She tilted her head a little and shrugged.

"You…being back. It's like you never left. Everything is just so…normal now." She ate her ice cream thoughtfully and he moved closer to her, setting down his milk next to her hip. "I missed this. Everything about you being here. Everything that was normal." He laughed a little, and slid a curl behind her ear.

"Normal, huh? We don't really do anything the normal way, do we?" He replied, and her mind flew back to a different time and place, so much less normal than putting their children to bed, or painting a nursery as they had earlier that evening. She laughed a little, taking in the heat that radiated under his gaze.

"Normal for us, I mean."

"Ahh, I suppose there are a few things one might consider normal." She gave him a bite of the ice cream, and was shocked by the immediate look of disgust that displayed across his handsome features. "Kate, that is gross. How can you eat that?"

"Baby likes it." She giggled as he gulped his milk, trying to erase the taste she had bestowed upon him.

"I'm slightly concerned she, and you, like that. Yuck! That taste definitely doesn't fall under any category I would call 'normal'." Jack settled beside her on the island, resting his legs over the side, shoulder to shoulder with her. She giggled at his words, and continued to eat her snap. "Have you thought any more on a name?" he questioned. She shrugged, peering into the bowl.

"Not other than the ones I already like. I'm leaning toward Kailey or Bailey, or maybe Rebecca."

"What about Ashleigh? You had liked that one because it started with an 'A', like Aaron and Adam. Or Avery, you'd mentioned that one too."

"I know, but she just doesn't feel like an Avery or an Ashleigh. I think she's a Rebecca, or a Bailey. We could call her Becca for short."

"Which is cute, but I'm not sure I'm sold on Rebecca." Jack shrugged, crossing his feet at the ankles, and clasping his hands in his lap. "I figure it'll come to us, like Adam did."

"You're probably right. Ohh, that reminds me, what do you want to do for your birthday?" She prompted, and he laughed a bit, surprised by the random thought.

"I'd rather not celebrate it, I'm so close to 40 it's scary. Let's just celebrate the birth of Sawyer and Juliet's baby, since that's there due date."

"We both know Juliet's not going to make it that far. She thinks she's going in to labor at least once a week. I'm sure one of these times it'll be true."

"No, she's just nervous. When it actually happens, she will be surprised."

"Oh look at you, Mr. OB.," Kate teased, "Am I actually going to make it to my due date this time?"

"So help me God. No driving after the middle of January, you hear me?" His voice was serious but his eyes were playful as he looked over at her.

"Jack, are you going to drive me everywhere? I mean really, that's almost two months of me not driving." She complained, her eyes wide with disbelief.

"My mom already said she would. The answer is no, Kate. No driving."

"I promise not to get in an accident!" She scooted to face him, grabbing his hand. He continued shaking his head, but she knew he wouldn't win this one.

"No, Kate. I'm not budging."

"Jack…" she whined, causing a chuckle out of him. He caught her eyes and could see the pleading.

"Why would you want to drive anyway?"

"I need my freedom!" At this, he laughed out loud, furrowing his brow.

"What freedom?"

" I like to go shopping and to the market and stuff…" she defended, causing more laughter from her husband.

"We'll talk about it Kate, but I'm 99 percent sure I'm not letting you behind the wheel of a car after your 8th month starts."

"You're no fun." She pouted, and he watched her curiously.

"Was delivering Adam in the back of an ambulance fun? With no epidural?" He asked incredulously. He received a shrug and knew he was winning.

"No, it wasn't but what are the odds that'll happen again?" She cried out, defending her position.

"What were the odds we would end up back on the island, Kate?" She huffed her frustration with his answer and the edges of his mouth curled up, and she was reminded, yet again, of how much he loved her and how much she adored him.

"You're lucky you're cute." She replied evenly, narrowing her eyes at him. He pulled her to him and squeezed her around her shoulders.

"You're too much, you know this?"

"I'm going to name her Rebecca just because you hate it."

"I don't hate it, I just don't love it." He defended.

"Whatever." From her spot in their embrace, her hand found the underside of his tattooed her arm and found comfort and normalcy in the movement of running her fingers down the colorful designs. He flinched and pulled away.

"Hey there, you really want to begin that battle?" She giggled as the house phone rang, and he moved quickly off the counter to get it on the counter across from them before it woke the children.

"Hello?" He answered, pointing a finger in warning at his mischievous wife. "Hi Sawyer." Kate raised her eyebrows curiously, watching Jack listen, her tickling threat forgotten. "Put her on," he replied to Sawyer, rolling his eyes at Kate. "Hi Jules."

"Jack, I'm sorry to call you so late. I'm worried I might be—"

"Going into labor, I know, you've been saying that for two weeks now. Don't you specialize in this?" Jack teased her, and Kate could hear Juliet snip back at him, and held back her own laughter.

"Just listen to me. It's feels like it's really happening this time. I've been cramping for about 3 hours now, and—"

"Is it consistent pain? Growing any closer together?"

"Well, it's consistent, but it just pretty much stays the same…"

"Juliet, I think you need to take some Pepto and lay down. What did you eat for dinner?"

"Mexican," Jack could hear the sheepish tone in her voice. She was so ready and overly nervous for this baby, everything seemed like labor to her.

"Jules…take some tums or something and try to rest. It's probably just gas. Call me when your water breaks and then we'll have a real conversation about labor, okay?"

"Jack, you're starting to sound like James." Juliet replied in dismay. Jack laughed, and rubbed his forehead.

"Goodnight Juliet."

"Thank you, Jack."

"Labor, again?" Kate could no longer suppress her giggles as Jack placed the phone back on the charger.

"Always. I can't wait until she has that baby."

"I wasn't like that, was I?" Kate asked, as Jack helped her slide off the counter. He chuckled.

"No, you just actually went into premature labor." He replied. Kate rolled her eyes.

"Will I ever live that down?" She moaned as they moved for the stairs, Jack shutting off lights behind Kate as they walked.

"You're lucky you lived through it," he chided, tickling her as they walked up the stairs.

"Be nice," she teased, smacking him in the stomach. At the top of the stairs, he scooped her up playfully, and she squealed, delighted.

"Who's asking who to be nice?" He warned playfully, as he carried her to the bed. It was nights like these they both cherished and enjoyed. It was what made their relationship so easy and important to them. Being together was what they always wanted, and there was nothing Jack would let tear them apart again.

* * *

**so sorry it has taken me forever to update! Thank you for reading and reviewing! Hopefully you guys are still reading. 754 reviews is amazing. Thank you, thank you! I will finish this story and have the rest of it planned out. So Don't Worry! There will be another update soon! :D Thanks guys!  
**


	65. Chapter 62

Chapter 62

**I'm a terrible person, I know. Not having updated in TWO months. Ehh, well, life certainly gets in the way doesn't it? Here ya go**

Jack left the coffee shop waitress a few dollars for a tip and a smile, making his way out onto the sidewalk. The sun was bright on the December morning, and as he carried his cup of coffee and a cup of tea, he smiled to himself at the joys he had to be thankful for this holiday season. His family was happy and back together, and his wife's pregnancy was progressing absolutely perfectly. What else could he possibly ask for?

Thanksgiving had been a joyful event, their friends coming back together for the first time since his return. It was something they had all come to appreciate and enjoy, their close-nit extended family. The children were growing up together and those were the moments that were the most special. They were all bonded for life. And soon two more would join their growing brood. With Juliet's due date right around the corner, Jack and James had money on whether she'd make it that far.

The weather was just warm enough for a light jacket, and Jack wished he could enjoy a longer walk as he reached the car, balancing the cups as he unlocked the door. Driving was easier now, and he was glad, as he didn't want Kate making any trips out on her own. He had told her mid-January would be the end of her driving days, but he knew he had secretly lied. Settling into the truck, he made his way back onto the interstate, maneuvering gently through the traffic that congested the Los Angeles freeway. The radio played classic rock tunes and he softly sang along, driving the familiar route. Reaching for his cell phone in his pocket, he briefly took his eyes off the road, as people often do, and when he looked back, swore sharply, gripping the wheel and swerving, as the person in front of him hit their brakes sharply. Jack pushed the pedal hard, praying the large vehicle would react, and it did, only after Jack pulled out from behind the black sedan he had almost rear-ended, and came to a stop in the break-down lane. His eyes widened at the scene before him, flames and smoke billowing up from a red sports car, a large SUV overturned in front of it. Jack was trained to react, for years it was what he lived and breathed. His door was opened, the car still running, his cell phone forgotten as he ran as fast as he could to the chaos of the accident.

The sports car was empty, the driver off to the side with his hands in his hair, blood running from a wound on his head, he wasn't Jack's concern. The SUV, upside down and smoking, was too close to the car that was on fire. By standers watched as Jack dropped to his knees, looking through the twisted metal, a woman, unconscious in the driver's seat, her seatbelt still holding her strapped in. She was Jack's first priority.

"Hey!" He hollered at a man, on his cell phone. "I need blankets or jackets, anything I can use to hold her head steady!" The man began a frantic search as Jack slid under the vehicle, through what would have been the passenger side door. Blood pooled below the woman, as Jack tried to assess her injuries and figure out where is was coming from. He tried rousing her awake, and was unsuccessful. The man returned with a series of blankets, and a large jacket, looking to Jack helplessly for his next move.

"Lay them down under her, we need to get her out of the seat belt and out of here."

"Shouldn't we wait for—"

"We don't have time. With the backup of traffic, it'll take the nearest ambulance over 15 minutes. If there's any gas leaking from this thing and it catches fire…" he drifted off as the man did as he was asked, another bystander, a woman, making her way over to help.

"I'm a nurse," the young woman offered, her voice shaky. Jack quickly deduced she was probably a recent graduate, her face white with nervousness.

"Okay. We need to catch her when she becomes loose. You," he locked eyes with the pretty blonde nurse, "slide your arms under her arms and place your hands on her head tightly, this will help keep her neck in place. Like this," he positioned her under the unconscious woman, trying hard but unsuccessfully to avoid the woman's blood. "You," he suggested to the man," slid your hands on her back as she falls, and don't let her hit the ground hard. We'll slide her out on the blanket." He tied the smallest blanket provided tightly around her neck, keeping her head straight. With a count of three, he clicked the woman's seatbelt open and she dropped slowly onto the towel with the support and Jack and his helpers. It was awkward but it worked, as she lay flat on her back now, the blanket doing its best to protect her from the broken glass that covered what was the crushed roof of the car. As Jack hurried to crawl from under the car, a quivering sob caught his ears and he looked to the back of the vehicle.

"Wait!" Jack called to the other two, stilling their movements of the injured woman. Jack turned over, crawling between the seats, frantically ripping discarded items from the direction of the cries.

Under a mess of bags, clothes, and glass, Jack extracted a small blonde girl, no older than Aaron. Her arms bloody from glass, she was on her stomach, under the items, her large blue eyes pleading silently with Jack's frantic hazel ones. Jack quickly pulled her to him, her small body forming to his chest.

"Hey! The smoke is starting to get thicker, you have to hurry!" Jack heard the warning call, and whispered a comforting word to the small girl, before sliding out from the mess, clutching her to him. The nurse met him halfway around the vehicle, a blanket in her arms, ready to wrap around the bloody, terrified child. Jack handed her off, before moving to help extract the mother completely. Holding her steady, they pulled her out slowly, clearing her of the wreck. The fire had fully engulfed the sports car now, and Jack knew they needed to clear the scene as soon as they could. Though he tried hard not to let personal thoughts in, as they carried the unconscious woman, he couldn't help but remember the last wreck he had seen, Kate's delivery. He fought back the thoughts, doctor-mode settling in again, as he urged onlookers away from the smoking vehicles.

Settling the woman down gently, quite a few meters away, he began to check the woman for injuries, silently assessing her blood pressure, pulse, and the large wound on her head, exposing bone. The nurse worked silently beside him, holding pressure to the open wound with her sweater, the little girl wide-eyed and sobbing a few feet away with a older woman. Jack could hear the sirens, but they weren't close. The nurse kept her fingers on the woman's neck as instructed, counting with her pulse. Jack swore under his breath as the blood from the woman's head soaked the white sweater, and as her abdomen held the tell-tale signs of internal bleeding. He stood, searching for a new towel or shirt for the woman's head.

"Do you know what you're doing?" She asked, the color back in her face. Jack answered with no hesitation.

"I'm a neurosurgeon." He responded. She inhaled sharply, leaning over the woman's mouth.

"She's not breathing, I've lost her pulse!" She exclaimed. Jack began compressions, the adrenaline taking over in a way he had severely missed.

The next minutes were a blur as they continued CPR for what seemed like forever. Jack fought not to look up at the little girl, terrified he couldn't save her mother. As the ambulance arrived, the paramedics seamlessly moved to aid the coding woman, Jack filling them in all the while. The nurse stood next to him, visibly shaken, the adrenaline wearing off, but Jack felt invigorated, charged like an electron. The paramedics strapped the woman onto the gurney, placing her in the back of the ambulance, still unconscious. Jack caught the child's terrified eyes staring at her mother and, in a move that was not necessarily characteristic of the doctor he had been years before, he took the four-year old into his arms, cradling her against his chest.

"I don't think we have room in here, with her mom in this condition," one of the men spoke to Jack quietly, as Jack rocked the young girl. "We will call another ambulance, if you can wait with her…"

"We'll come with you. They shouldn't be separated." Jack didn't argue, simply stating the fact, knowing he wouldn't want his children to be split from their mother in such a time. The man nodded, and Jack began off to his truck for his keys and phone, before stopping short to glance back at the young blonde, still in shock. He moved back to her, resting his free hand on her shoulder, as her wide blue eyes stared up at him.

"Is she going to make it?" She asked, her voice shakey. Jack didn't answer, for fear the little girl would hear, only offering the nurse a small, grateful smile.

"Thank you for your help. You did great," he praised the young woman, his words sincere.

"Thank you," she replied softly. He squeezed her shoulder one last time before striding off quickly to the ambulance, the small child nestled against his chest.

"Aaron, I'm going to count to three and you better be over here before I say three!" Kate spoke sternly, standing in her young son's room as he refused to get dressed after his bath. Standing defiantly across the room from her wrapped in his frog towel, he reminded Kate so much of Claire, his blonde hair tousled and his bright blue eyes staring back at her. She shook the thought from her head, counting slowly. Adam squealed from his crib in the living room, and Kate sighed heavily. She mentally counted to ten to prevent herself from losing her cool. She rested an arm across her bulging abdomen, her other hand supporting her lower back as she felt the aches of pregnancy taking their toll on her small frame. "Two," she spoke slowly, as the wild child took a few steps forward. She raised her eyebrows at him and his wall fell down, as he wanted defeated to her so she could help him dress. "Sweet Pea, it's hard for Mommy these days, okay?

"Why are you gonna have another baby?" Aaron spoke quietly, a sad tone in his voice. Kate sighed sadly, knowing this wasn't the first time they had carried on with this conversation.

"Because Mommy and Daddy love each other very much and that's what you do when you love each other. You're gonna be the best big brother ever." She kissed his head as she finished sliding his shirt on. The house phone rang, stealing away the moment between her and her first son, and Kate moved as quickly as she could to grab the phone.

"Hello?" She spoke somewhat breathlessly, watching Adam bounce in his pack 'n play in the living room.

"Hey, Kate," Juliet greeted. Kate smiled at the voice of her close friend. They had forged a tight bond they hadn't shared before she and Sawyer had come back, and Kate valued their friendship. "Have you heard from Jack?"

"No, I thought he was headed to see you. He didn't show?" Kate looked at the clock, knowing Jack had left over two hours prior. He had been going to visit Juliet since Sawyer was pulling several long shifts on an investigation, and she was due any day.

"No, and I haven't heard from him either. I tried calling but got no answer."

"That's not like him. I mean, he's not generally very punctual but he always calls if he's going to be late." Kate's heart began to race, worst-case scenarios running through her head.

"I know, it's so strange." Kate heard a shuffle on the other end and a gasp, and Jack was forgotten for a moment.

"Are you okay, Jules? Did you just fall?" Kate asked, concerned suddenly for her very pregnant friend.

"No," the blonde woman managed out, her voice terse. "I think…I think…" she tried, and Kate immediately knew that tone, and terror laced through it.

"Juliet, tell me it didn't…" Kate begged, her eyes widening as she stared at her own children, happily playing together quietly.

"Kate..."Juliet managed out in a sob, "My water just broke."


	66. Chapter 63

Chapter 63

**This chapter was really hard to write for some reason. Please be nice. Oh, and the baby is named after someone very special who always takes the time to help me with chapters and someone who has become a dear friend. When you read the name you'll know who you are :)**

Kate was thankful she lived very close to Margo as she veered down the interstate after dropping her children with their grandmother. She was worried about Jack, having called him for the several times now with no response. Angrily tossing her phone in the passenger seat, she focused on the road. Traffic was a mess, as usual in Los Angeles, it seemed to Kate, and as she drove, she banged her hand repeatedly on the steering wheel. She'd tried calling James, unsuccessfully as well, growing more and more concerned for Juliet as each moment passed. The radio indicated an accident a few mile markers in front of her, and Kate rolled her eyes at the circumstances. She was 20 minutes away from Juliet. Reaching for her phone, she dialed the other woman's number one more time, hoping her labor wasn't progressing. And that Juliet had managed to slip into clinical mode and was able to talk herself through her labor pains.

"Hey, you doing okay?" Kate was thankful Juliet's voice didn't sound strained.

"Yeah," she sounded stressed but calm, "My contractions are about ten minutes apart."

"Oh good. I'm stuck in traffic. I should be there in twenty minutes…" her voice drifted off as a black SUV, parked on the opposite side of the road, near the grassy median, came into view. Instinctually she hit the breaks, unable to get across the three lanes of traffic. The Red Sox license plate holder gave the truck away, and Kate's heart began to race.

"Okay, I'll see you then." Juliet responded, clicking her phone off. Kate felt sick driving by the truck, though from what she could tell at forty miles an hour, the truck looked untouched. Tucking away her worry about her husband for a moment, she focused on getting to Juliet. Maybe it wasn't their SUV, Kate hoped. She couldn't think about that right now.

* * *

Jack handed the little girl off to an awaiting nurse in the emergency room bay at St. Sebastian's and filled the woman in on the girl's stats. As the nurse walked away with the child, he offered the little girl an encouraging smile, before turning back to the still unconscious woman on the gurney, surrounded by doctors and paramedics. He hadn't been by the hospital since returning, unsure of his place and how to explain his disappearance.

"Jack? Jack Shephard?" A familiar voice called to him, as the chaos of the emergency room moved away from the nurse's station. Jack turned to catch the kind eyes of a doctor he had known while being chief of surgery. He greeted the man with a smile.

"Dr. Hamill," Jack outstretched his hand, greeting the younger man.

"When I got your papers saying you were working at a clinic in Thailand, I was surprised, but very impressed. You just get back?" Jack's eyes widened a bit, but he played along, reminding himself to thank Sayid later for covering his bases for him.

"It was a last minute thing. Very rewarding." He noticed the stitching on Dr. Rob Hamill's jacket, and the younger surgeon seemed to eye his gaze.

"They promoted me to chief of surgery soon after you took your leave of absence." Jack nodded, knowing the man was fit for the position, having operated with him many times. He was an orthopedic surgeon.

"Are you back for good now? We can put you back on the board. Your locker is still intact, and you still have your office. I kept mine, I preferred it to yours," Rob laughed and Jack felt a serene sense of calm slide over him. He didn't hesitate.

"Yes, yes I am. I'd love to come back to work." Surgery was what he loved, and this would solve their financial problems. He shook the man's hand again, ecstatic. He couldn't wait to tell Kate.

"You got it." They shook hands again, and began off toward the elevator, "I'd love to hear all about your trip sometime. I'm thinking of going to West Africa someday soon,"

"Sure, definitely." Jack was glad he wasn't grilling him now as they made their way to the doctors' locker room. Scrubs lay neatly folded in his cubby, his shower supplies untouched.

"I'll let you change, it seems you've had quite a morning," he slapped Jack's shoulder with a friendly grin, "Welcome back."

As Jack stripped of the blood stained, dirty clothes, he remembered his breakfast date with Juliet, and sighed. Pulling on the crisp light blue scrubs, he felt brand new, like he was finally and completely home. He walked out of the locker room, down the hall to his large office. Grabbing the extra key from behind the receptionist desk, he slipped in, the big office stuffy and also untouched. He had made his way through his entire stack of papers before he had left for their trip, the desk organized and empty, just as he had left it.

Reaching for the phone, he caught a glimpse of Kate and him, on their wedding day, dusty but still shining in the sunlight, as he grinned in the darkened office. He hadn't bothered to turn the light on, the feeling of being back still settling in. He dialed Kate's phone number, hoping she could get in touch with Juliet and apologize for his distraction. Apparently he had no problem sliding back into his role of Dr. Shephard.

"I don't know how you did this," Juliet groaned as Kate pulled up to the emergency department at St. Sebastian's.

"I don't really remember it, unfortunately. It was a blur. You're gonna be fine," she comforted, moving from the driver's seat of the Volvo, around to the passenger seat, calling for help from a security guard at the same time. The older gentleman called for a nurse, before pushing a wheel chair quickly to the ailing pregnant woman. Juliet's face was now tear-streaked, the stress and panic of the situation mixing with her labor pains, and her concern about James' whereabouts. Jack and James had been unreachable, and as Kate heard her phone ringing in her purse, she prayed it was one of them. Reaching for it, she stopped as Juliet cried out in pain, and Kate was instantly at her side again, holding her hand as the ER nurse pushed Juliet through the doors. Kate prayed Jack was all right and that Sawyer would call.

Jack placed the phone back on the hook, and stood for a moment, trying to decide what to do. He could catch a cab back to his car, or try his mother, though she had plans with Frank and he didn't want to interrupt that for so little as a ride. Sighing, undecided, he decided to head back down to the ER and check on the young child and her mother.

Moving from his office, he began down the hall. A quiet Sunday, it was, Jack noticed, as he made his way through the silent halls. The bustling of the week was getting ready to begin the next day, but for now the halls held the far off sounds of monitors and televisions, but no quick-moving staff or outpatient appointments. He took in the smell and sights, his heart feeling soft and settled within, his body at ease in the surgical scrubs it often called home.

So many memories filled this particular hall. His life revolved around this hospital, his father having worked here his whole life. Jack spent his residency within these walls, and took on permanent employment there soon after. The arguments between him and his father, his patients, Sarah, so many things here reminded him of his past. But he felt like it was a calming comforting place for him. His sanctuary.

The staff elevator doors opened to the ER, much busier than the rest of the hospital, nurses and doctors busying themselves with the cases of the day. Jack made his way to the charts, striding past the patient area, his focus far off, his mind distracted. It didn't stay that way for long, an angry voice calling out his name from behind him.

"What are you doing?" Kate exclaimed. Jack stopped to turn, catching sight of his pregnant wife striding toward him, her eyes wide with concern, her voice laced with anger. "I've called you like a hundred times!" Immediately Jack was concerned, knowing his phone was in his truck back on the highway. He met her half-way, his hands coming to rest of her shoulders.

"What happened? Are you all right?" He searched her face and body, not seeing any signs of injury, "Are the boys okay?"

"They're fine. Juliet's in labor. You would have known this had you _actually_ arrived at her house. What the hell happened to you?" Kate was beyond concern at this point, seeing him standing before her, clean in the scrubs she hadn't seen him wear in months. She searched his face.

"There was a wreck, I stopped to help; a car was on fire. I stayed with the victims in the ambulance." He tried to reassure her with his words but he received a small chuckle from her with the tilt of her head.

"Still pulling people out of burning wreckage, huh?" She quipped, raising her eyebrows. He shook his head a little with a laugh,

"Old habits," he replied with a shrug. "I tried to call you. Where's Juliet? Have you called Sawyer?" Jack motioned for Kate to take him back the way she'd come, hoping to find Juliet.

"He's about as reliable with his phone as you are. I haven't heard from him. Lucky for him, she's not progressing quickly. Her contractions are still not consistent and it takes them a while to come. She's just terrified though, the poor thing. She called me when you didn't show and her water broke while we were on the phone," Kate shot a look up at Jack, "I interrupted your mother's date because I had to get to Juliet. I hope she isn't cursing me as we speak."

"I'm sure she's fine. I'm sorry I worried you. Poor judgment on my part," Jack knew the words were true, he meant them. Worrying his pregnant wife was not high on his list of things to do.

"You're a doctor, first and foremost. Which is why," Kate pulled back the curtain where Juliet was waiting to be transported to a room, "you get to handle her now." Kate gave the blonde woman a reassuring smile. "Look what I found wandering the halls," Kate presented Jack to Juliet who sighed in relief.

"Oh thank God." Kate giggled a little as Jack moved to Juliet, grasping her free hand, and looking at her monitors.

"Is this why you invited me over for breakfast today?" Jack winked at Juliet, who only rolled her eyes.

"Nice of you to stand me up." She replied wryly, causing a laugh from both of her friends.

"It wasn't intentional, I promise." He released her hand to review her chart as she sighed heavily.

"Now if only James would arrive, I could get this thing out of me."

"This thing, huh? That's a very affectionate term, Mom." Jack teased, Kate moved back to her friend, picking up her hand again, and running a hand over Juliet's blonde hair.

"Trust me, if you were in this position right now, Jack, you would understand."

"I'm sure. But from the looks of your chart, if appears as though you've bought James some time. He'll get here, don't worry." For her friend's sake, Kate prayed he was right.

Hours later, Kate shifted uncomfortably in the chair next to Juliet's bed in the Labor and Delivery ward, eyeing Jack precariously as he spoke with the obstetrician on the other side of the closed door.

"I knew this would happen. I knew there would be complications, I just knew it." Juliet's hormones were out of control as she began to sob for the fifth time since Kate had brought her to the hospital four hours ago.

"Jules, there are no complications; you're just not dilating quickly. You still have a lot of time. Hang in there."

"I want her out, Kate. I'm done." Juliet sighed in defeat as if to physically show Kate she had given up, and Kate laughed a little, rolling her eyes.

"You still have a heck of a lot of pushing to go, so I suggest you give the "I'm done" a rest. Besides, what happened to the tough Juliet? I've seen you much tougher than this."

"Something about the thought of labor terrifies me. And I haven't delivered a successful birth in a really, really long time. I mean, remembering how it all happens is a blur, let alone when I'm the one pregnant. That has never happened."

"I can assure you, Jules, the joy you will feel when they give her to you will be enough to show you all these hours of pain and discomfort are worth every ounce of it." Kate rubbed a soothing hand along Juliet's arm. She wasn't about to tell her friend how terrified she was to deliver her own child, faking strength was one of her best qualities. She would continue to do so as long as she could.

"What if James doesn't get here in time?" came the meek voice, full of fear.

"He will, Jules. He will." Watching Jack through the glass of the door, bringing so many memories back, he motioned for her to come out, and she quietly stood, assuring Juliet she'd be back soon, and moved for the door, her back kinked from sitting so long in the horribly uncomfortable chair.

Stepping into the hallway, Jack greeted her with a soft caress on her lower back, and kissed her forehead. "How's she doing?" He asked quietly, guiding her away from the room, down to the waiting area, where she could sit more comfortably. She eased down, moaning in discomfort.

"She's stressing. How much longer does she have before they do a c-section?" Kate was worried for her friend; worried her husband wouldn't arrive for the birth of their first child and worried that she wouldn't have a pleasant experience her first time around.

"She's got plenty of time, at least 12 more hours. It's all about the baby and her stress level. If she becomes distressed, they'll determine what the next move is. Right now they're both stable." He rubbed Kate's arm, eying her own hands clasped below the large bulge in her knit maternity shirt. "How are you feeling?"

"Tired. And my back is hurting, but I think it's from that chair. She's been quiet today." She rubbed her belly affectionately. "I'm feeling a little apprehensive though about what I have to look forward to soon," her face was grim and Jack chuckled, running a hand over her long hair.

"You'll be fine. As long as you delivery here, you'll be fine. Anywhere else and we'll have to discuss not having any more children because your body can't be trusted." He kidded with her but her eyes widened at his words.

"You want more? Jack Shephard, I'm pretty sure two is all you're getting out of me!" She replied incredulously. He raised an eyebrow, a grin spreading over his handsome features.

"Only two? But it's so much fun to make them." He kissed her cheek and she stuck her tongue out.

"Well, you can get fixed and we can pretend to make them all you want." Shock slid over his face and she held back her giggle, pursing her lips.

"Fixed?" He replied negatively, the word not settling well. Their moment was interrupted as a nurse strode toward them, worry evident on her face.

"Um, Dr. Shephard, ma'am, there's a gentleman in your friend's room, and I don't think he should be there, but I can't get him to leave. He's claiming he's the father and husband, but she's yelling at him and calling him names and I'm just not sure whether I should call security or…" Jack and Kate shared a look, before standing.

"Thank you for your concern, but whatever she's doing I'm sure he deserves it. We'll take care of it." Jack followed Kate down the hall, her giggles leading him to Juliet's room. Expletives flowed into the hallway, as Kate moved to one side of Juliet, and Jack moved between the two, eyeing her heart rate monitor.

"Look who decided to finally join the party!" Juliet chucked her cup of ice at Sawyer, who scoffed and was visibly hurt by the action.

"Juliet, I told you, I've been working this case and there was a shootout, I'm sorry—"

"I'm having your baby, James! That's pretty damn important!" Kate shushed her friend, understanding her hormones and the pain were causing her outbursts.

Jack moved Sawyer out into the hallway, still surprised by the man's police uniform. Picturing Sawyer a cop wasn't high on his list of jobs for the guy, but he had to hand it to him, he made a pretty damn good one. "The meds are making her hormones a little crazy, and she really was concerned you wouldn't make it. Just give her a minute and she'll calm down."

"How long has she been here?" Sawyer asked, his face laden with concern.

"A few hours. Not much progress though. We'll see if she calms down and then I'm going to take Kate upstairs to rest in my office. She's been with Juliet the whole time. She's okay, James, don't worry," Jack assured his friend, knowing he was worried about his wife. He understood the worry. If it was Kate, he'd feel the same.

They moved back into the room, and Juliet reached for her husband, who walked to her, though unsure if she planned to embrace him or hit him again. She grasped his hand, leaning toward his broad chest.

"Juliet, if you can be nice, we're going to let you two be for a little bit."

"I'm sorry. I'll be nice." She winked at Kate, who patted her friend's hand.

"No hitting, Juliet. Even when it hurts." Kate advised Juliet, before stepping toward the door, following Jack into the hallway. "Sawyer, call us if anything changes."

"Will do. Thanks, Doc, Kate."

"Anytime." Jack shut the door behind them. "If you throw ice chips at me, Kate," he began the warning, and she laughed in response before he was finished.

"I'd throw more than ice chips, don't worry."

"Great. The things I have to look forward to." Sarcasm dripped off his words but Kate just laughed as they climbed into the elevator heading to his floor.

* * *

"Kate," she heard the whisper but struggled to open her eyes. "Kate," the husky voice came again, and Kate recognized it at once. She felt the cool leather against her skin where her shirt had risen up, and forgot for a moment where she was. Slowly she opened her eyes to spy her husband staring at her intently, kneeling on the floor in front of her. She suddenly realized she was in his office. She yawned.

"Hey," she whispered, her throat dry.

"Hey," he replied, brushing a strand of hair from her freckled face.

"How long have I been sleeping?" She inquired, attempting to rise. Jack rushed to help her, pulling her up to a sitting position.

"About 6 hours." He smiled gently as she stretched, moving her massive curls out of her face, and rubbing the sleep from her tired eyes. "Wait until you meet her." Kate caught his eyes as hers widened.

"She's here? Why didn't you wake me?" Kate began to rise but Jack pulled her back down.

"Erica Lynn Ford, 7 pounds, 8 ounces. It was quick. I was asleep myself. Sawyer came up an hour or so after, both Juliet and Erica are perfect. Wait until you see her, she looks just like Jules." Kate felt elated for her friend.

"I feel terrible we missed it." Kate pulled her hair up on top of her head and straightened her shirt. "Erica Lynn, huh? What a great name!"

"Right? They're all resting right now, but I think she's in the nursery. We can go see her if you want." Jack rubbed her back affectionately, knowing soon it would be their baby nestled in the bassinet.

"Please," Kate grinned, and Jack helped her up. "Have you talked to your mother? Are the boys okay?"

"They're great, in bed by now. They love staying at her house, you know this." Kate laughed.

"True. I felt bad dropping them on her like that. I hope she doesn't mind…"

"Oh no. She and Frank cooked them dinner and they watched a Disney movie I'm sure." Kate eyed Jack at the mention of Frank and tried to read his expression.

"Her and Frank, huh? Cooking dinner for the boys? Sounds quite family-ish don't you think?" Her eyes danced with laughter but he scoffed.

"I don't want to talk about it," he responded, sliding his arm in front of the elevator to keep it from shutting on her.

"Someday we'll have to talk about it, Jack." Kate replied honestly, knowing it was only a matter of time before he had to admit his feelings about the situation.

"Well, that day isn't today, is it?" came his smart response, and with a raised eyebrow, Kate remained silent. They made their way down to the labor and delivery unit, where the nursery was with all the newborn babies, and Jack had a moment of nostalgia, remembering his own son laying their, his mother unconscious in the ICU. He gripped Kate's hand tightly, and she returned the gesture, curiously glancing at him, but keeping silent. When her eyes landed on the small pink bundle entitled "Baby Ford" with her name below it, Kate raised her hand to her heart, taking in the small child's features.

"She's beautiful. I can't wait to hold her." Kate remarked, her other hand roaming the belly she carried, knowing she was speaking of both her own daughter and little Erica.

"Sawyer will most definitely have his hands full," Jack wrapped his arm around Kate's shoulders and gave her a squeeze.

"Especially if she looks anything like Juliet when she's grown," the pair laughed, not realizing they had been joined by their dear friend.

"Admirin' my lil' girl, are ya?" came the content southern drawl they both could recognize anywhere. They turned to greet him, and Kate could see the pride just radiating off of him.

Kate left Jack and reached out for Sawyer, wrapping her arms around his neck. "Congratulations," she spoke sweetly. He would always hold a special spot in her heart after all they went through and shared, and lucky for her, Jack finally understood. Sawyer hugged her back, before stepping away to admire the little bundle he would raise from here on out.

"Yours will be here soon." He gestured to her belly and flashed Jack a grin, "and we'll be raising girls together."

"They'll be the death of us, I'm sure." Jack laughed before embracing Kate one last time. "Let's let Juliet rest, we'll come back in the morning. Congratulations, again, James." They shook hands one last time before they said their goodbyes and began towards the door to the unit.

"So I forgot to ask you," Kate started as they began down in the elevator, "did you get your job back?"

Jack nodded, "Indeed I did actually. I was on a medical trip in Thailand." Kate gave an impressed look. "I'm pretty sure we owe Sayid a lot more than we ever acknowledge."

"When do you start back?"

"Monday, I guess." He replied. "Why?"

"Because as of twenty minutes ago, you turned 39!" Kate exclaimed as they exited the hospital. Jack looked at his watch, noticing how late it actually was and how old he suddenly felt. She grabbed his waist, still feeling the bones that lay underneath his thin layer of skin, still void of some of the muscle he had previously held, and kissed his soft lips, relishing in their taste. "Happy birthday!" She threw her arms around his neck.

"Thanks," he replied wryly, kissing her nose. She grinned up at him, and he got lost in her deep eyes, enjoying the way the freckles danced across her cheeks. She looked a little more tired than he remembered when she had been pregnant with Adam but he was sure that she couldn't have been more beautiful in that moment.

"You know what this calls for?" She spoke mischievously. He looked at her wearily.

"Let me guess…it involves something sweet…" He guessed and her eyes lit up.

"Remember that diner, down the street, that we used to have late dinners at when you worked long shifts? It's open 24 hours…and they serve pie," She rubbed her belly and he laughed out loud as the mound shook slightly, "Baby is asking for pie. It's the best birthday treat!"

"Pie it is then. We can't leave Baby wanting." She looped her arm through his and they began down the street to the small diner they had frequented before their trip back to the Island. It reminded him of old times, being in his scrubs with his pregnant wife at his side, and he couldn't help but feel like he had missed so much time. The feeling came and went occasionally, six months of his life just missing, irreplaceable. But when she looked up at him with her big, kind eyes, he knew there was no going back for her. She only went forward, it was all she knew, and he admired her for that. She took life in stride. He needed to learn from her.

And as they sat in the old booth, and shared three pieces of pie, it was times like these he cherished the most. He knew there would be less alone time than they already had when the baby girl came, but right now he was okay with that. Kate was his life, his children were everything. He loved being a surgeon just as much as he loved being a father. He was finally feeling like everything was falling back into place, that everything was where it was supposed to be, where it was supposed to happen. Clutching her hand over the plastic table top, his heart swelled. This was it. This was his life. And he couldn't have been more grateful.

***ForeverErica, thank you always for your guidance and for being my friend. You're a rockstar!**

**Reviews are love. And I'm posting a poll. Please let me know your thoughts!***


	67. Author's Note-Please read

Hi guys!

So, I haven't given up on either To Keep You or Fix A Heart! *cheers* However, please understand I'm having a really hard time writing both of them. Not because I don't want to, or because I don't love them because, wow, do I love these fics! But I seem to have backed myself into a corner with where I had originally intended for them to go, and where they're currently going, and I'm working my way through it. All that to say, it's definitely not a bad thing for either story, I've just simply created two very big stories with a lot of ground to cover. And I don't have as much time to devote to them as I used to.

To Keep You honestly has about two or three good chapters left until she's finished *sob*. Fix A Heart is far from done, and I will hopefully finish her sometime in the next century (haha).

So to answer the questions I keep getting: No, I have not given up on these stories. Yes, I will finish them. When I'll update? That I'm not sure about. I don't want to overpromise and under deliver because how's that fair to y'all? But I also know, and so appreciate, your dedication to reading these fics. Your reviews make it so grand writing these stories, and I am so thankful for all of you and your reviews.

I hadn't written in months prior to writing a drabble last week about a different fandom all together. I took a different approach, and am really trying to warm up my writing hat and get myself back in the groove I used to be in. And lucky for you all, it's working!

So, please don't judge me because I'm updating something other than these stories, and know it's all for the greater good of not half-assing these two works I have grown to love so much. You will get your updates, rest assured. I just don't have a time frame for you :/

Thank you all for your understanding, and your support of these stories for so long! I appreciate each and every one of you! Thank you for reading and reviewing, always!

XOXO


	68. Chapter 68

Chapter 64

_Wow, I'm pretty sure it's been over a year since I updated this fic. And this chapter is short. However, I will finish her by Christmas. (Hence the theme) My writing is a bit rusty, please forgive me. The last 6 months at work have been insane and being a newlywed with children makes life very busy. I hope people are still reading. You guys are the best! XOXO_

* * *

December held a special place in Kate's heart. The decorating, the delicious food, the cheery atmosphere around town, and of course, all the talk of Santa, Reindeer, and what the boys were getting for Christmas. Everything about the holidays brought a smile to Kate's face, and as she placed garland around the banister, she couldn't help but grow more giddy.

The baby girl within her was developing wonderfully, healthy and active. Kate was looking forward to adding a girl to their brood of boys. She felt so at peace these days, the last week or so since Jack had been back to work were so comforting, so consistent with their old life. She thoroughly enjoyed making dinner for her family as her husband arrived home from work, embracing him before he hugged the kids, wrestled the dog, and undid his tie. Everything was so familiar and she was so thankful to have these moments again, after everything seemed as though it was gone for good.

Kate thought about the past year tentatively, the trials, tribulations, and joys they had all experienced. Sawyer and Juliet's baby girl Erica was a testament to that. Conceived on an island where babies and pregnant women wouldn't survive, she had lived to grow with a loving family in a safe place. She was looking forward to Sayid and Nadia's annual Holiday party, it would be nice to see everyone again, and get to squeeze on her little god-daughter. She knew baby girl Shephard and Erica would grow up to be the best of friends.

"Mama!" Aaron came flying around the corner, little Adam crawling madly behind, Brody protectively bringing up the rear. At the sight of all her boys, she was thrilled again to be bringing a little girl into the world. "Daddy got the lights on the tree!" His eyes were animated, wide and bright, and Kate smiled warmly, stopping what she was doing to acknowledge her son's excitement.

"He did? I'll have to come see!" She stepped gently off the stairs, and bent down gently to pick up the infant as he gurgled away with the same joy. Brody followed Aaron at full speed back to the living room, and Kate carried Adam behind them, her grin growing as she rounded the corner to see their large Christmas tree illuminated in white light. Her eyes sparkled as she caught her husband's hazel ones. "Didnt need my help this year, I see," Kate smirked, tossing her curls over her shoulder. Jack look very self-satisfied, hands on his hips, surveying his work.

"Nope. I had no trouble at all," he reached for her, and she came more than willingly, wrapping herself in his arms, Adam smooshed between them. Jack kissed the child's head, and then his wife's lips, grinning against them.

"Daddy! I love this part!" They both looked to the television as the classic, "Charlie Brown Christmas" played across on a cable channel, Snoopy dancing on the stage with all the characters to the main tune. Jack and Kate laughed as Aaron began his own dance, Brody pouncing along beside him. Adam clapped his hands as Kate blew raspberries on his cheek.

The oven alarm sounded and Kate looked up to Jack, a devilish gleam radiating from her eyes. "The cookies are finished," she taunted, handing Jack the baby, and heading for the kitchen. He followed, tossing the baby over his head gently.

"I'm beginning to wonder if you're actually carrying a baby or if you're really just carrying Christmas cookies," she shot him a look and he laughed out loud. He feigned innocence. "What? It's a fair question-have you seen your belly?" She threw an oven mit at him and though she missed him by a good bit, he shot her a look back. "I'm holding a baby, dear," he warned playfully. She pulled a warm cookie off the sheet and blew on it before allowing him a bite. He moaned his appreciation as she ate the rest.

"Mama! Can I help decorate them?" Kate and Jack laughed at his excited tone again, the child full of joy for the season, as much as Kate herself. Jack placed Adam on the clean floor, watching Aaron inspect the many shapes of cookies.

"Tomorrow, kiddo. After Charlie Brown, it's bedtime." Aaron scampered back into the living room, settling back on the floor with Brody to finish his movie.

"We'll decorate the tree tomorrow?" Kate asked curiously, taking another bite of a warm cookie.

"Yeah, when I get home from work. I have one surgery and two consults, but I shouldn't be late for dinner." Kate laughed, causing Jack to raise an eyebrow.

"I've heard _that_ before," she teased.

"You're a bit sassy this evening," he commented, helping himself to a reindeer-shaped cookie.

"Just wait until after the kids are in bed," she taunted, pulling out the container of icing. Both his eyebrows rose this time, as she continued, "You don't even know what I have planned," she giggled, though it was cut short by the jab she received from the child within. Jack was immediately at her side as she grabbed her side.

"You okay?" He asked, immediately concerned. She nodded, standing up straight again.

"Yeah, she just kicked me good," Kate replied, rubbing the spot of impact.

"Well that's what you get for teasing," Jack kissed the side of her head. "You sure you're okay?"

"Yeah," Kate laughed with a nod, "Just ready for her to get out." Jack closed his hands on either side of the mound and kissed Kate's forehead again.

"We'll get to meet her soon enough," he grinned, "I think Bailee will have your curls and my eyes," he spoke thoughtfully.

"I think _Kailee_ will have your nose and my expressions, similar to Adam," she replied teasingly. The two couldn't decide on a name, and each day they were calling her something different.

"I'm going to tuck the boys in, I'll be back down in a few," Kate nodded with a happy grin as Jack rounded up the kids and carried them to their respective rooms. These were the moments Kate lived for. A happy family.

Every once in a while, however, as she packaged up the cookies, her mind drifted to an uneasy place, to a person missing from their large extended family. Claire.


End file.
